


Dead Memories

by Scyllaya



Series: Til the Sun Goes Down [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age of Ultron only referenced, Brainwashing, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, mentions of torture, spoiler warning: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 03:41:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 62
Words: 304,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2413670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scyllaya/pseuds/Scyllaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Battling destructive forces with The Avengers forced Steve to stop his search for Bucky for much longer than he would have liked. Despite all odds they find him again, but in unexpected company and in a very different state of mind he was the last time Steve came face-to-face with him. Soon there’s a lot more at stake than his long lost friend, but Steve simply cannot give up on him, not even when everything but his heart is telling him to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Dead Memories](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2517764) by [Nordremo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nordremo/pseuds/Nordremo)



> Welcome to my first Bucky/Steve fanfic.

He spent a year searching for him. A literal year, not an exaggeration. It was not a constant search, being on the road and hunting down leads, of course not, but it was enough time spent to count as a full-time job. Which was why Steve did not expect Sam to dedicate his every waking hour to the cause. Now Steve though... he had time, plenty, he had all the time in the world. And he’s been told – repeatedly – by trustworthy sources, that there’s never been a more stubborn punk on the face of this Earth than him. A year went by with nothing but glimpses, trails gone cold, and dead Hydra agents, but Steve was nowhere near ready to give up. He wanted to keep going. He was disheartened on some days, desperate on others, sometimes numb, sometimes close to rage, but he was not about to stop. He... couldn’t just stop.

The world didn’t feel like letting him keep going though.

Not Hydra, not what was left of SHIELD, not the Avengers and the damn Maximoffs... not Ultron.

So here he was. Staring out of the window of his newest characterless apartment, back in DC, again. Months later than he planned to be. Months after any lead would be worth a damn. The faint trail completely gone.

It was a numb day. The sort where he didn’t feel like pretending to be anything or anyone. He was just a guy, standing quietly in his mostly empty apartment, being angry at the world and not having the energy to do anything about it. DC was grey outside, the air crisp and the sky cloudy. Perfect weather for his mood. A text from Sam was still waiting to be answered, but Steve knew that he had a few hours before his friend would have enough and just come over.

Steve appreciated his concern even when it frustrated him, especially then. He knew that Sam and DC were kind of a package deal, he could’ve avoided this, if he wanted to. But it was much better than staying in New York, where he would catch himself staring at the Tower from a distance, where Tony locked himself away like some self-exiled prince from a fairy tale. Not that Steve blamed him... well, no, Steve did blame him for a few things, but there was no point hauling more guilt on his shoulders. He was punishing himself enough. Nobody on this world blamed Tony more than he blamed himself. It was one of the things that made Steve remember that despite everything, he was a good man. Only a good man would do this to themselves.

Natasha gave him a call regularly, updating him about everything in New York. Not just about Tony, but everyone else. Steve always wanted to know how Clint and Bruce were doing, but he was not always interested in what Wanda and Pietro got up to. He was... not really warmed up to them, but he knew Clint and Natasha felt different. And Vision just plain unnerved him in some moments, he couldn’t help it, he was working on it.

His phone chirped again, another text, probably from Sam. He sighed and turned away from the window to take a look at it. It was not nice of him, ignoring Sam like this. When he looked down at the screen there was an unknown number there, not just the text from Sam. He opened that first. It contained another unknown number and a short message: “Call back ASAP. N”

Steve dialled and waited.

‘Natasha?’ he asked immediately. ‘What’s going on?’

‘ _Not even a “hello”?_ ’ Natasha asked in return on the other end of the line.

‘Why the secrecy?’ Steve asked. ‘And hello.’

Natasha did not laugh, but Steve could hear it in her voice that she was smiling.

‘ _Well, I stumbled upon a little something you might be very interested in._ ’

‘You mean...’

Bucky. It had to be Bucky. Natasha knew that he has not given up. What else...

‘ _Yes._ ’

Steve’s heart started pounding in his chest, his whole body preparing to launch into action.

‘Where are you?’

‘ _Delaware._ ’

‘I thought you were in New York.’

‘ _Yes, but one of Clint’s contacts found something that stank like Hydra, so here I am._ ’

‘Give me the exact location I can be there in a few hours.’

‘ _No, stay put,_ ’ Natasha said firmly. ‘ _Nothing to do here any more. I’ll bring the intel to you._ ’

‘Then why did you call?’

There was a short pause and Steve knew right away that something big happened, or something very bad.

‘Are you okay? Are you injured?’ he asked, shifting gears, he felt his brows furrowing with worry.

‘ _I’m fine, but Steve... this is not just some vague lead, a report from an unreliable source... I need you to be very sure about still wanting to do this. Before I show up._ ’

That was... strange. She knew very well how serious Steve was about finding Bucky, how very much be did not want to give up.

‘I am sure,’ Steve said with absolute conviction. ‘What did you find?’

‘ _More corpses than I care to count_ ,’ she said then and Steve felt himself go very very still. ‘ _Hydra... from the way I see it._ ’

Bucky did leave some bodies behind since he dropped of the grid. Hydra agents in safe houses and hastily emptied SHIELD bases, but it was never more than one or two. Quick kills too, they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. This... this was something different.

‘And?’

‘ _And I’m trying to recover enough security footage for us to get some idea about what happened here... and what they took._ ’

‘They?’ Steve asked in surprise.

‘ _I don’t know who else was here, but he wasn’t alone. It’s impossible, even for someone with his skills._ ’

Steve took a moment to digest that. All this time, he was always alone. Drifting from one place to another, running, hiding, never staying in one place for long. Steve didn’t know what this meant, that he was working with someone now.

‘ _There’s also a vault here,’_ Natasha continued. _‘Recently emptied... whatever was inside is gone. Hydra guarded it well._ ’

‘Are you sure it’s him?’ Steve asked.

Natasha was silent for a moment and Steve could picture her clearly. Standing in full gear in a destroyed room littered with bodies, nimble fingers swiftly moving over a keyboard, trying to recover as much data as possible, her eyes intent on the screens, taking in all information presented to her.

‘ _I’m sure_ ,’ she said then. That was good enough for Steve.

‘Bring all you can find, I’ll call Sam.’

‘ _Steve..._ ’ She started again, but he interrupted.

‘Don’t ask me again whether I’m sure, you know I am.’

‘ _I know you are, but something changed, be ready for that._ ’

‘Yeah, you got it,’ Steve said, his voice just a bit quieter.

‘ _I’ll be there as soon as I can_ ,’ Natasha said and then she cut the line. Steve lowered his phone and tried to just breathe for a moment. He counted to five for every inhale and exhale, just like back when he had asthma. He had to make sure his heartbeat was steady. He allowed himself one moment of silent worry and uncertainty, then he squared his shoulders, lifted his chin, and dialled Sam.

* * *

Somehow Sam managed to keep him from vibrating out of his skin. He hated waiting around and he’s never been known for patience. Right now his head was hyper-focused and all over the place at the same time. He kept running the few scraps of information Natasha has given him over and over in his mind. Bucky was simply gone for so long now, for him to show up like this again, leaving a pile of corpses behind, working with someone (more than one?), taking something from Hydra. Something changed all right.

‘You’re making me dizzy,’ Sam interrupted his thoughts again. Steve was pacing. It was that or staring out of the window, which kind of always worried Sam, so Steve refrained.

‘It’s just--’

‘I know! Cap, _I know, trust me_. But you gotta get your head in the game without falling apart at the seams.’

‘I just thought it would happen differently. Some rumour from Eastern Europe, a strange intel from Argentina. Not a raided Hydra base in Delaware with an empty vault and a pile of bodies.’

‘Yeah, some comeback, huh?’ Sam folded his hands together and looked at Steve for a moment. ‘Any idea what it could mean? Kicking the Hydra killings up a big notch like this?’

‘Maybe he remembers more... from what they did to him. That... maybe that would explain it.’

Steve didn’t want to think of Bucky as someone so brutally vengeful, but he remembered his own oath, after Bucky fell from the train. How hunting down Hydra and Schmidt became the one clear goal in his mind, how he’s sworn to kill or capture them all. The anger and pain he felt back then was nothing compared to what Bucky was put through.

‘I don’t know whether that makes this easier or harder,’ Sam wondered.

‘I have absolutely no idea,’ Steve admitted.

Sam let him pace some more, without kicking up much of a fuss about it.

Natasha knocked on his front door exactly two hours after her phone call. Steve opened the door so quickly he could’ve sworn he heard the hinges protest with unpleasant metallic squeaks. She looked okay, uninjured, hair still short barely under her ear, most of her Black Widow gear hidden beneath a long black coat.

‘Get your computer,’ she said, walking inside Steve’s apartment swiftly. Steve went to do that while Sam and Natasha greeted each other.

Natasha sat down on the couch next to Sam, but Steve couldn’t imagine being able to sit still even for a second, so he just stood next to them while his computer powered up and Natasha inserted the flash drive.

‘Something damaged most of the cameras in the facility,’ Natasha said as her fingers moved on the keyboard. ‘So I don’t actually have that much footage, but it’s worth looking at it.’

It took only a few short moments for her to start playing the video. Steve stared at the screen, almost holding his breath.

The camera did not record in very good quality and something obviously damaged or disturbed the recording, because it occasionally jumped, shook, and sizzled. They all saw enough though.

A gate of sorts was wide open, white smoke swirling in from the outside. A completely nondescript strike team was lining up, preparing for a fight, but for defence, not offence. Then in walked the Winter Soldier. Steve’s breath really did catch in his throat and he had to swallow. The members of the strike team were falling to the ground, dropping like flies even before he was fully in the room. His clothes were only slightly different than what he wore the last time Steve saw him in DC. His metal arm was still uncovered, his vest was definitely kevlar and he wore goggles. No mask though. Steve felt ridiculously glad about that for a second. Somehow in Steve’s mind that mask, hiding his face and silencing his words, was like a symbol of the weapon Hydra turned him into.

He moved incredibly quickly, dodging Hydra agents left and right, taking cover in the right moments and exploiting every mistake and every second of hesitation from the strike team. Some members of the Hydra team fell even without Bucky shooting them and it took a moment for Steve to catch the metallic blurs. Knives or bolts, definitely some sort of a projectile weapon.

Bucky, because no matter how much he looked like Hydra’s most fearsome weapon in the footage he had to call him Bucky, made short work of the strike team and marched forward with confidence, deeper into the facility. Quick, efficient, deadly.

‘Now who the hell is that?’ asked Sam as a second dark figure walked in after Bucky. Steve guessed male from the width of their shoulders, their height, and gait. His clothes were less military, more... Steve had no idea how to categorize it. His overcoat was long, almost down to his ankle and his face was hidden by a hood. Steve couldn’t even catch a glimpse of his skin colour, he wore gloves as well. He carried no visible weapons, but was no less confident than Bucky as he walked inside.

‘Can we take a closer look at him?’ he asked.

‘Wait,’ Natasha said.

Soon the video switched to a different camera view, but some time must’ve passed, because Bucky was already stepping over fallen Hydra operatives, his unknown accomplice just a few steps behind him.

‘Not exactly standard military gear,’ Steve offered, staring at the stranger on the screen.

‘Neither is your suit,’ Sam added. He had a point there, Steve shouldn’t be surprised. The stranger wore some mask or had something wrapped around his head under the hood, because all Steve caught was a thin line where his eyes were. He still couldn’t be sure about the skin colour, it was light though, not dark.

‘And definitely keen on hiding his identity,’ Natasha said, with a touch of annoyance in her voice. She had no idea who it was then, Steve concluded. An unknown party always made her a little cross.

The screen switched again, this time the camera was behind some sort of a glass panel in a wall. Probably hidden camera. One Hydra operative was looking into it, then spun around as the door was kicked open. A second later there were two bloody holes in the glass, obscuring the view a little, and the man fell to the ground.

Bucky walked up to the glass and Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of him, especially when he removed his goggles. His hair was still long, maybe even slightly longer than before, but he wasn’t pale, wasn’t skinny, he even looked clean shaven. His eyes were firmly down on the switchboard before him, not looking up at the camera, so Steve couldn’t really take a good look at his eyes. That would have told him a lot. How empty they were, what emotions were hiding in them. He almost spoke out loud, willing him to lift his head a little. It didn’t happen.

The hooded figure walked up to him, talking to him maybe, but there was no audio feed. Bucky just nodded his head to the left, saying something in return, then lifted his metal arm to gesture at something. The other man nodded and walked away, straight to the huge metal door that must’ve been the vault Natasha mentioned. Bucky put down one of his gun, holstered the other one, and started typing on whatever was in front of him, not paying attention to the other.

The hooded man stopped before the vault door, raised his arms, gripped it on either side, then to Steve’s shock, he simply ripped it out of the wall.

‘Holy shit,’ Sam breathed out. ‘That’s not normal.’

‘Definitely not,’ Steve agreed as he watched the man drop the thick vault door to the floor. He was tall, but more lean than bulky, it made the whole thing all the more surreal.

‘Super-human, non-human, centipede soldier,’ Natasha shrugged, looking at the screen intently. ‘Definitely something.’

‘I’m not sure I could’ve ripped that door out,’ Steve added.

Bucky was still typing when the man came back out of the vault, carrying a heavy looking storage crate. The sort Steve saw SHIELD use as well.

The hooded man calmly walked up to Bucky, the crate in one hand, like it weighted nothing. He must’ve said something, because Bucky stepped back from the panel and said something in return.

‘“You better be right”,’ Natasha said.

‘What?’ Steve frowned.

‘I read his lips,’ she explained.

The hooded figure must’ve answered in return, but they could not see his mouth, then Bucky rolled his...

‘Did he just _roll his eyes_?’ Steve asked, shocked, incredulous, maybe, probably. He did roll his eyes, Steve caught it.

Sam and Natasha said nothing. Steve tried to focus on the screen again and watched as Bucky stood, waiting for something. The hooded man stepped closer to the panel and touched something on it. Then he reached up to the glass that hid the camera and drew a curved line with his bloody gloved fingers right under the two bullet holes in the glass, creating a bizarre, utterly disturbing smiling face.

‘They knew about the camera,’ Steve said, watching them walk away, leaving the room. This time the hooded man walked out first and Bucky covered his back, following him.

Natasha nodded. ‘They wanted to be seen, they left this footage to be found.’

‘For whom?’ Sam asked. ‘You? Us? SHIELD?’

‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ Natasha said.

‘No, I’m sure yours better,’ Sam countered.

‘But where did they go?’ Steve asked, still staring at the screen even though the video went dark already. ‘Where do we search for him?’

Natasha turned a little to look up at him and after a moment Steve looked back at her.

‘If they wanted to be seen, they won’t be hiding. We’ll find them.’

‘Well... I’m all for it,’ Sam said. ‘But that guy... I don’t feel good about that guy.’

Steve knew what he meant, and not just because of the display of strength. His whole presence put him on edge. Steve’s brain was bending over backwards trying to figure out what Bucky was doing with someone like that. He had so many questions. He wanted to know what was happening inside Bucky’s head. He did not look empty, or confused, but Steve couldn’t see much else either. He had to know, but again it seemed like that he would have to find him for that first. He would have to look him in the eye, take in his face, then he would know more.

And whatever was in that vault, whatever they took, it also probably meant bad news.

‘We’re gonna need backup,’ he decided.

Natasha smiled. ‘Way ahead of you.’

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know yet how regularly I will update, but those of you who followed BAtW might know that you won't have to wait too long for new chapters.


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha knew that it would be hard to convince Steve to stay put more than it was absolutely necessary, even with Sam’s help, so she was a little glad about not having an exact location to go to. She wanted to find the Winter Soldier – Barnes – just as much as Steve, but she had completely different reasons and not even one tenth of the emotional investment. Waiting for the others and figuring out their next move was a good reason as any to stay in DC for now. But Natasha knew that if this went on for too long Steve was going to turn... unpleasant. You did not want to get on his bad side then.

Clint promised to get everything out of the informant who gave them the tip about the Hydra facility in the first place. Natasha also forwarded the recovered security footage to Hill. Even if Stark was unavailable, Hill could use at least some of their resources. It was nowhere near as good as it used to be, with the Stark satellites offline and JARVIS gone for good, but it did not hurt to try. Natasha would have to reach out to many of her sources and she had no idea how many of them would be able to help. But it was something to do.

She was not surprised about how eagerly she took the intel from Clint about the Hydra base. She needed something to focus on, some good she could do. Dealing with some Hydra hole seemed like a fine way to make the world just a little bit of a better place. But now James Barnes was back in the picture, and that turned this into a whole different game.

She couldn’t help much, when Steve first started his search. With all her covers gone, her identities exposed, she lost too many sources, informants, assets, and allies. But enough time passed now, even with everything that happened since, so she was ready to use everything at her disposal to get this done.

She let Wanda know where she was, but did not ask her and Pietro to join them yet. Steve was still a little hard-edged around them. But after watching the short footage from the Hydra base again she knew that they would need the extra help.

‘You called Thor?’ Steve asked in surprise.

Natasha shrugged. ‘We don’t know what we’re dealing with here. Even with Clint’s help it wouldn’t be easy to take down the Winter Soldier...’

Steve gave her a stern look.

‘Barnes.. unharmed,’ she stressed. ‘Non-lethal solutions are not the easiest. And let’s not forget the other guy. Maybe they even have more accomplices. Plus Thor seemed eager, probably needed an excuse to stay away from Asgard just a bit more.’

‘Not exactly the kind of guy you can use for a covert mission,’ Steve said.

‘I don’t know,’ Natasha smirked. ‘All those hunting stories, he probably has _some_ stalking skills. But I could always get in contact with Vision...’

‘Thor’s fine,’ Steve said and Natasha just shook her head. Predictable.

‘I would have called Wanda and Pietro here too,’ she started, but Steve was already making _that_ face.

‘No need, we can handle this.’

‘I just think they would be more than happy to help you get Barnes back in one piece.’

She didn’t need to remind Steve of the twins’ relationship with Hydra and why they would be willing to fight for Barnes when it came down to it. She wasn’t going to push though. Not yet.

But Steve was closing up again, just like after New York. Retreating into his head, his own little space, where it was him against the world. Natasha wasn’t going to just watch that happen. She knew Sam wasn’t going to either.

‘If there’s more of them,’ Steve agreed finally. ‘You can call them.’

There was a joke on the tip of her tongue, something to do with Steve’s firm Captain America face, but he was already turning around and leaving the room again. Not a good sign.

* * *

Clint arrived to DC first, but Bobbi had some more information about the facility in Delaware for him. So off he went, sending a quick text to Natasha that he would be late. SHIELD was still small, but its agents did not lose their touch just because they were freelancing elsewhere. Unsurprisingly, all of them were always happy to help when it came to Hydra.

Thor, hair and cape slightly damp from a rain-cloud he must’ve hit on his way here, landed right in front of Steve’s building, drawing more than a little attention to himself. This was not New York, people actually stopped and stared, taking out their phones. Thor waved and smiled, greeted everyone like he always did, even posed for a few pictures, not bothered by the attention. He never was, but again; prince.

As soon as he was in the apartment he wrapped his big arms around Steve, squeezing him so tightly that Steve let out a little huff as the air was forced out of his lungs, but he was smiling and hugging back. Natasha didn’t even pretend to protest when Thor leaned down and did the same to her, just much more gently. Sam looked a little giddy, standing there, despite the situation. He did not have the chance to meet Thor in person yet.

‘Thor, this is my friend Sam Wilson,’ Steve introduced him.

Sam smiled brightly, holding out his hand.

‘Ah, the Falcon you told me about,’ Thor smiled in return, grabbing hold of Sam’s forearm and shaking it. ‘Well met, friend. Glad you have been watching out for our good Captain.’

‘Well, I can _try_.’

Thor laughed as he let go of Sam’s hand, but then in a single second his face turned serious and he looked back at Steve again.

‘Captain, Natasha informed me about what has befallen your friend. Know that I will help you however I can. Perhaps now that there is more of us, we will be able to ensure his safe return to you.’

‘Yeah, I hope so too.’

‘So, where do we start then?’ Thor asked, looking around at them. ‘The sooner we give chase, the sooner Steve’s friend will be back in safety.’

‘Clint will be here soon, then the two of you will have to take a look at something. See what we’re getting ourselves into,’ Natasha explained. ‘Then we go from there.’

‘Very well,’ Thor nodded.

‘Drop the hammer and the cape, I’ll bring you a beer,’ Steve said as he headed towards the kitchen.

‘Thank you,’ Thor nodded with a smile and got comfortable. Natasha turned to Sam.

‘So, how does it feel? Getting in the midst of the Avengers?’

‘Great, you know, but why can’t it be just for beer and pizza?’

‘You can have beer and pizza, but then you’re going to get shot at later. Well, plausibly.’

‘Yeah, that’s exactly what I meant.’

‘And yet, you’re still not out of the door. We ought to make you official.’

* * *

Clint had more than just bits and pieces of information, but he wanted to see the footage first.

‘Well, he’s not getting _rusty_ , that’s for sure,’ he said as the video ended. He seemed a little disappointed that no one appreciated his lame joke.

‘So what do you know about the Hydra base they attacked?’ asked Steve, face all business.

‘This is where it gets interesting,’ Clint said and leaned over the side of the couch, right over Natasha, to pick up his backpack. He fished out a stack of papers and dropped them next to the laptop. Natasha picked up the first file, the other two ended up with Steve and Sam.

‘Now that we know that this was a Hydra operated building I asked Bobbi what she can dig up about it. She got some SHIELD hacker to take a closer look at it and what’s been going on with it.’

Natasha was already scanning through the information herself, memorizing important details, but she let Clint explain it to the others, while she read.

‘Just the day before the attack a heavily armed convoy arrived in the middle of the night, very discreetly.’

‘The thing from the vault?’ Steve asked.

‘That would be my guess,’ Clint shrugged. ‘Whatever it was they picked it up from the Dover Air Force Base and did not stop until they were inside. They really didn’t want it out in the open for long.’

Sam bumped Clint’s elbow to get his attention.

‘Where did it come from?’ he asked.

‘Poland,’ he said, then pointed at the folder in Steve’s hand. ‘Zielona Góra Airport, it’s a small regional airport, commercial. The plane was classified as private when it took off, not military.’

Natasha finished reading the file and dropped it back on the table. She brushed Clint’s hand as she leaned back so he looked at her.

‘And before?’ she asked and signed at the same time.

‘Bobbi’s hacker friend had a few guesses,’ Clint said, gesturing at the file in Sam’s hand. ‘But nothing solid, we’re gonna have to ask around a bit more.’

‘It could lead us to another Hydra fort,’ Thor said, he was glancing at one of the files over Steve’s shoulder. ‘I assume it was something valuable, what they transported. Maybe they guarded it in a different location before now.’

‘Wouldn’t be the first time,’ Natasha agreed, her hands naturally making signs while she spoke. ‘If the previous storage location was compromised, they probably tried to move everything important to a new location.’

‘Or more than one location,’ Sam said.

‘We need to track down anything suspicion that took off from Zielona Góra recently,’ Natasha agreed.

Clind signed “I’m on it”, then stood up and got out his phone, texting someone.

‘You think this will lead us to them?’ Steve asked.

‘Might give us a possible target,’ Natasha said. ‘This is reconnaissance, we need to gather as much information as possible, and see where they lead us.’

‘And what about the hooded guy?’ Sam asked. ‘I’m kinda concerned about him, and where he fits in this picture.’

‘He is fighting our enemies,’ Thor said. ‘And on your friend’s side.’

‘I wouldn’t call that a letter of recommendation at the moment,’ Steve sighed.

‘Still, an enemy of our enemy could be a possible ally. We mustn’t assume him a foe until we know more.’

Natasha had some thoughts on that, but she remained silent. It bothered her how unexpectedly he showed up on the board. A new and unpredictable factor she had no information about, besides what little they saw on the security footage. In recent years the possible answer to superhuman strength increased significantly. She had never been trained for aliens and magic, but did have some knowledge of scientific experiments. AIM, Hydra, and everyone and their mother seemed to want super-soldiers at one point or another. Or the answer was something more extraterrestrial. The possibilities were almost endless, it might be even something completely new. Wouldn’t that be just tons of fun?

* * *

Natasha went over all the files Clint brought while he exchanged rapid-fire texts with someone. Steve and Sam retreated to the kitchen area. Steve would probably feel like a bad host if he didn’t offer some food soon. Natasha hoped Sam would convince him not to order from that Thai place he liked again. Their massaman lamb was horrendous, Steve just didn’t know any better.

Thor restarted the video on Steve’s laptop and he was intently watching the screen, his brows furrowed a little.

‘Could you have ripped that door out like that?’ Natasha asked, not looking up from the file she was going over.

‘Aye, easily,’ Thor said. ‘Most Aesir could, some Vanir too, not an elf though, they are fast and deadly, but not known for their physical strength.’

‘I thought those elves were extinct, especially after London.’

‘No, those were the dark elves,’ Thor said. ‘They are two very different species and are from different realms.’

‘Good to know.’

‘Those gloves though...’ Thor said thoughtfully.

Natasha put down the file and looked up. Thor stopped the video at the moment where the hooded figure drew his little smiley on the glass. Now that she looked at the black gloves with more attention, she noticed there were colourful lines twisting around the wrist area and little metal spots on the fingers.

‘What about it?’

‘I would need to take a better look at it to be sure, but I think I have seen craftsmanship like it.’

‘You mean it’s Asgardian?’

That would change a lot of things.

‘Nay,’ Thor shook his head. ‘I’ve only seen a similar design in my Father’s vault in Asgard, among the old armours and relics he picked up on his travels. I do not even know which realm they were from. I just remember them to be very old.’

‘Are you sure?’ Natasha asked.

‘Not at all,’ Thor shook his head. ‘It might just be similar. Maybe they would look very different in front of me than how they look like on this poor recording. But as you said, we need all information there is. If I’m mistaken, then we wasted a few thoughts on the matter, but if I am correct...’

‘Then he is definitely not human,’ Natasha agreed. ‘Any idea who? If they are really not from Earth?’

Thor laughed a little as he shook his head.

‘Lady Natasha, I might be a prince of Asgard, but I do not even know all living souls who reside in the realm eternal, let alone in all the other realms.’

‘Right. Anything you can tell me about it? If it’s the same type of armour?’

‘They’re not exactly like the one my Father keeps in the vault, merely similar. Not much else I can tell, they are light, meant for stealth. For spies... or thieves. Not the sort of armour I was interested in as a child.’

There was another sentence following the one he spoke out loud, but he halted the words abruptly before he could utter them. Not that Natasha needed him to say anything. There was a flash of grief on his face, a tightness in his eyes and a hardness in his jaw that was unmistakable. He never brought  _him_ up in front of them. Natasha knew none of them would laugh in his face in delight, but Thor could read people much better than most gave him credit for. He probably feared what he would see in his friends’ faces.

‘Two questions,’ Natasha said.

‘Ask away,’ Thor prompted.

‘How likely it is that someone from Earth could’ve gotten their hands on armour like that? And two; who would be able to come here from other realms without you knowing about it?’

Thor contemplated the questions for a few long moments.

‘Both is possible, I believe. I’ve been made aware that there were a lot more Aesir and other weapons and artefacts on Midgard than I ever imagined. In the past many visited your realm, and not just in time of war. Something like this could have been left behind.’

Yes, SHIELD found way too many Asgardian or Asgardian-like objects all over the globe. They never meant anything good.

‘As for travelling here. Nobody used the Bifrost, I can assure you of that, but I am well-aware that there are other ways to move from one realm to another, if one has the right knowledge and skills. But it’s a difficult endeavour. You see, if it would be easy, everyone would do it.’

He smiled a little solemnly, looking back at the computer screen, starting the video from the beginning again.

Small chance, but not impossible. She would’ve liked the impossible more. Superhumans are one thing, aliens were always bigger trouble.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. We'll be seeing more of Bucky soon :)


	3. Chapter 3

‘Festungsfront Oder-Warthe-Bogen,’ Clint announced in triumph with way-off German pronunciation, his hands up in the air.

‘Gesundheit,’ Sam smirked at him.

‘The East wall?’ Steve asked. ‘In Poland?’

‘That’s the one,’ Clint said.

‘Supposedly abandoned or just full with bats,’ Natasha added. ‘But we found a few things that might indicate otherwise.

Clint made a few quick sings in reaction to that, but Steve couldn’t even guess what it meant. Natasha gave Clint a look that was a little long-suffering, but mostly fond, then she signed something back.

Whenever Steve watched how Natasha’s hands moved when Clint was around he promised himself to learn more than the basic “I’m fine”, “Are you okay?” and others like it. Clint rarely went without his hearing aid, especially for missions, but to put it simply; if something could go wrong, it usually eventually did. Steve wanted to be able to communicate with him even if technology was not cooperating.

It’s been well over three years – almost four – since Clint suffered the damage to his ears that put him off active duty until Ultron came knocking. And Clint didn’t seem to expect people to start learning this stuff for his benefit, but Steve was pretty sure even Thor knew more signs than he did. Steve felt a little guilty about that, his search for Bucky consuming all his days notwithstanding.

‘Tell us more about this “wall”,’ Thor requested. Sam seemed to need the run-down too.

Steve took it upon himself to explain what he knew about it, while Natasha and Clint were preoccupied with their little chat.

‘It was built by the Nazis back in the 1930s. It was a fortified military defence line, there are tunnels, bunkers, barracks, railway stations. It’s pretty huge.’

‘Just the central section is 32 kilometres long and some of the tunnels are 40 metres deep,’ Natasha said, turning her attention back on them. ‘Not to mention all the other tunnels and underground buildings that are not directly connected to it.

‘Okay, you said something about bats?’ Sam wondered.

‘Most of the tunnels are empty, just a shelter for animals. Other locations are open to the public.’

‘So where’s the interesting part?’ Steve asked.

‘Bobbi’s hacker friend dug up all she could about everything that got in and out of the Zielona Góra Airport,’ Clint explained. ‘Every once in a while there would be one private plane taking off as quietly as possible, officially belonging to bullshit non-existent companies. Six in total, so far.’

‘All planes headed some place different,’ Natasha said as she took over. ‘Germany, Algeria, Argentina, China, Serbia and the last one to Delaware. Hill managed to pull some strings to search for anything in the vicinity of the airports they landed on that could be linked to Hydra.’

‘Let me guess,’ Sam said. ‘Same as Delaware?’

Clint nodded.

‘Five out of six was attacked within the same 24 hours,’ he said.

‘So there has to be more of them, not just Barnes and the hooded man,’ Natasha added.

‘What about the sixth?’ asked Thor.

‘Nis, Serbia,’ Clint said. ‘They were either very quiet or for some reason they did not attack yet.’

‘So where does the East Wall fit in all this?’ asked Steve.

‘We don’t have an exact location yet, but there is a hidden Hydra base somewhere connected to the tunnel system,’ Natasha answered. ‘Too many things point in that direction. I think that’s where the crate from the Delaware vault and all others like it were stored before.’

‘If Hydra is clearing up that place, we might not find much,’ Sam said. ‘It sounds like to me that they are abandoning it.’

‘That’s why we go to Serbia first,’ Steve decided. ‘If for some reason the package from Poland is still there, we might catch whoever comes for it. They could probably tell us more about all this.’

Natasha nodded at him, clearly she wanted to do the exact same thing.

‘We might even get our hands on it first. Then they would have to come to us.’

‘We have a plan, now we must leave most urgently,’ Thor announced.

Steve wanted to get moving immediately too. Hell, they might be already late, maybe they won’t find anything, but it was a pretty solid lead. They chased after less reliable ones back when they first started searching for Bucky.

‘We arranged a plane, we just gotta grab what we need and be on our way.’

‘Andrews Base?’ asked Steve. Clint nodded. ‘We leave in an hour.’

* * *

They got to Nis in the middle of the night. It was well after midnight and way too cold for early May. The small plane they switched over to after they landed on the airport was no quintjet, but it was better than having to drive. Steve did not know the pilot, but Clint did. He said he checked out and Steve trusted his judgement as much as he trusted Natasha’s.

The location of the Hydra facility was way outside the city borders. Officially abandoned, only used as a training ground once in a while.

‘Thor, Sam, I need you to land on the roof, clear it out so that the rest of us can land safely. Then take out all guards on the outside, cameras too, if you find any. Check every entrance and exit and watch the perimeter while Natasha, Clint and I infiltrate the building. Try to stay close to at least one entrance at all times, we might need back-up quickly.’

Neither of them protested against guard-duty. Steve briefly considered taking Thor inside and leaving Clint with Sam, but dismissed the idea soon after. No matter their skills, Thor and Sam were soldiers, not spies. They were much better utilized by trusting them to provide back-up and extraction.

‘I don’t think Thor here actually needs to stay close to a door,’ Sam said. ‘He can just punch through a wall.’

‘Aye, clever idea my friend, it would be much quicker,’ Thor nodded approvingly.

Sam grinned as he checked his gear one last time, his guns, all his ammo and his earpiece. His routine was relaxing to watch. Clint and Natasha were likewise second-checking their equipment. Steve’s done his routine four times already, so he forced himself not to repeat the motions again.

‘The satellite pictures Hill got her hands on did not show much activity around the building in the last days, but we can’t assume anything based on just that,’ Steve continued. ‘It’s Hydra we’re dealing with here, if you can take them out without killing them; fine, but you don’t need to be careful.’

‘Explosives,’ Natasha reminded him.

‘No matter where you are, explosions mean you leave the premises,’ Steve said firmly.

‘After I made sure you are all safely outside,’ Thor said. Steve didn’t even try to argue with him about this, he knew there was no point.

‘T’was a reminder for the regular humans over there,’ Steve said, nodding his head towards Sam, Natasha, and Clint. ‘They bruise easily.’

‘You are hilarious, Cap,’ Clint deadpanned.

‘The explosives are an absolute last resort in case we can’t get to the package,’ Steve reminded everyone.

Natasha made a quiet disappointed “Aww” sound, making both Sam and Clint crack up, even Thor grinned. Steve tried and failed not to smile as he shook his head. Natasha just smirked at him.

‘And if you see Bucky or the hooded man, do not engage unless they attack first.’

‘Trust me, I won’t go anywhere near them,’ Clint said as he pulled his quiver on his back. Steve gave him a look, but did not comment.

Steve was buzzing with energy. This was the first time in a long time he felt like he was close to Bucky again. Or at least getting his hands on some solid information. Plus he was never going get tired of making Hydra pay for everything they’ve done.

The light next to the back-door of the plane lit up.

‘Drop point,’ Clint announced and hit a button to get the door open. Cold wind filled the plane immediately.

Steve raised his arm to politely allow Thor and Sam to get to the back of the plane.

‘To battle, my friends,’ Thor said, his red cap swirling behind him in the draft. ‘And to victory!’

Then he spun his hammer and jumped out of the plane.

‘I really do like this guy,’ Sam smiled at Steve as he walked past him. Steve clapped him on the shoulder, then watched how he jumped out of the plane without hesitation too.

‘Oh good, you didn’t forget your parachute,’ Natasha remarked, looking Steve up and down.

‘I’m getting old, huh?’ Steve countered.

‘You are _way_ past old, Methuselah,’ Clint told him. Then they jumped.

* * *

The good news was that it seemed like neither Bucky nor anyone else attacked this place yet. The bad news was that Hydra clearly expected to be attacked. They were welcomed with a hail of bullets once they got inside the building, even thought Thor and Sam dutifully took out all and every guard on the outside and no alarm was sounded.

‘I mean, I am not surprised,’ Natasha said as she shot down another guy, trying to sneak up on them. ‘But I’m still not happy about this.’

‘But Natasha, you were sooo bored,’ Clint told her. ‘You willingly drove down to Delaware to look at dead bodies.’

‘Of course you would enjoy this,’ she said.

‘I didn’t say that,’ Clint protested as he let another arrow fly. 

‘Can we please focus?’ Steve interrupted, but he was ignored for the time being.

‘I was perfectly content lazing on my couch,’ Clint continued. ‘Some junk food,’ he shot another guy that appeared above them on an narrow metal overpass that had to lead to some other room. ‘Some trashy TV.’

‘You don’t watch TV,’ Natasha reminded him, then she dashed across the room, quickly taking out two guys who were taking cover behind a corner.

‘ _How you doin’ in there, Cap?_ ’ asked Sam over their comm-link. Thor, as per usual, didn’t have his own. They always fried at the first hint of lightning that cursed through his body. Small electronics just did not go well together with god-like powers sometimes.

‘They’ve been expecting company, but nothing we can’t handle so far.’

‘ _Sure you don’t need any help?_ ’

‘Not yet. Just keep the building secure from the outside. We don’t need any surprises.’

‘ _You got it._ ’

There was abruptly complete silence in the room and a moment later Natasha casually walked back to them.

‘Shall we?’

‘I noticed three possible directions to go from here,’ Steve said.

‘Four is you count the vents,’ Clint added.

‘Let’s take a quick look-around and tie up everyone who’s just unconscious,’ Steve instructed and the three of them separated to cover more ground.

They didn’t kill all of them, but Steve meant it when he said that they did not need to be careful. He did not enjoy killing, not even when it came to Hydra, but he accepted it a long time ago. These men and women who lied at his feet, dead or injured and unconscious, made their own choices. Because when it came down to it, the normal humans, who came at them with guns; chose to serve hydra. The doctors and the scientists, who implemented Hydra’s experiments, who put the syringe in the arms of others, twisted their bodies and minds; they chose to commit those horrendous acts.

It was always when it came to someone unusual, someone too strong, too fast, or possessing abilities no other human had, that they had to tread carefully. Hydra’s so-called “greatest weapons” were never as willing as all the “average” humans around them. Bucky was the first one Steve knew about, but he wasn’t the last. Hell, Wanda and Pietro were not going to be the last either.

‘I found some occult shit!’ Clint yelled from somewhere.

Natasha got to him just a few seconds sooner than Steve and she was already studying what Clint found. “Occult shit” seemed to be fitting. It was also definitely the way they needed to go.

The door and the wall around it was covered in... something. Symbols, letters, strange shapes in different colours. Some of it was definitely done with blood, now old and dry, while other parts were clearly spray-painted or just scribbled up with a sharpie. A lot of them were carved or scratched into the surface, probably in a hurry, because the lines were ragged and their depth constantly varied. Some of them seriously looked like as if some child got their hands on a knife or a pair of scissors and randomly decided to mess up the wall.

‘What in the hell is this supposed to be?’ he wondered out loud.

‘It’s Hydra... I mean, the Nazis dipped into magic and occultism, right?’ Natasha asked. ‘That’s how Red Skull found the Tesseract, he was following up myths and legends of gods.’

‘Freaky experiments seemed to be more to their style lately,’ Clint said.

‘Magic is just science we do not understand,’ Natasha told him, signing as well, now that she did not need to use her guns. ‘Thor always says so too.’

‘Then maybe we should ask Thor about this,’ Clint suggested, gesturing at the wall and the door.

‘He can take a look at it later,’ Steve said. ‘They know we’re here, we need to get what they are guarding here before they take off with it.’

‘I think if they could, they would have done it already,’ said Natasha.

‘We better not risk it,’ Steve told her and she didn’t argue. ‘Any idea how to get this door open?’

He looked at Clint first, but he just shrugged.

‘Maybe from the inside, there might be a main control hub somewhere. We could search for an alternative route in. Vents seem cosy. Or...’ he smiled. It was probably meant to look innocent.

Natasha’s eyes glinted in something akin to delight when Steve looked at her.

‘Don’t look at me like that,’ she said. ‘You want to blow this door up as much as we do.’

And okay, he couldn’t really argue with that.

* * *

‘ _You said explosives were the last resort!_ ’ Sam questioned him through their comm-link.

‘Eh, it was just a small explosion,’ Steve reassured him.

‘ _Just a small explo--_ ,’ he started, then he just sighed. Steve could hear Thor laughing in the background. ‘ _You’re gonna give me grey hair despite my young age, Cap,’_ Sam complained. Steve had to smile at that.

‘How are things out there?’

‘ _Well, they definitely don’t know how many of us are out here or they keep underestimating us,_ ’ Sam reported. ‘ _A small team tried to come up to the roof. You should’ve seen how they just literally stopped when they caught sight of Thor. Comedy-gold, Cap, comedy-gold_.’

‘Okay, keep me posted.’

‘ _Yeah, you too. Watch your backs._ ’

They ran into surprisingly no resistance since they blew up the door. But Steve did not believe for a second that they were not being watched. He was expecting to be ambushed any second. Clint and Natasha were just as alert as he was, so they clearly expected the same.

‘Things got strangely... still, all of a sudden,’ Natasha said after a few long moments passed. They kept walking across small, but not completely abandoned-looking rooms and narrow corridors. Yet no bullets, no strike team, no nothing.

‘I’m gonna be _that guy_ , okay?’ Clint spoke up. ‘I’ve got the tone down. Here it goes... it’s quiet,’ he said in a harsh dramatic whisper. ‘ _Too quiet._ ’

Natasha groaned and turned to Clint. Steve couldn’t see her properly, so he didn’t know what sort of face she made, but it made Clint chuckle quietly. He went silent thought a moment later and Steve knew why. He noticed the stench too, almost at the same time. It was faint for now, but it was unmistakably the very distinct smell of days-old corpses.

Sure enough, they found some bodies as they ventured deeper into the complex. Steve was confused, he was ready to admit that. The strike team that welcomed them made them assume that the building was not attacked yet, but now it seemed otherwise. He looked over to Natasha, whose brows were furrowed as well.

‘Lock-down?’ she guessed. ‘Did they seal the building?’

‘No one in, no one out? Maybe.’

This place was starting to rub him in the wrong way and not just because of the now constant stench of death around them.

They heard gunshots. Not even just a few, and some of them were definitely coming from automatic guns. Nobody was shooting at them though. Steve started running towards the sound, Clint and Natasha were right on his heel.

When they reached a longer corridor Steve picked up his pace and ran faster. He knew the other two couldn’t keep up immediately, but he was confident they would catch up with him in time. Then the ceiling caved in not far in front of him, the noise, with the sudden cloud of dust and debris, made him stop abruptly. A body or two fell through, Steve couldn’t really see much of what was happening at first. It was hard to slow down from his speed, but he managed just in time before anything could hit him.

When he looked up again he saw that two of the bodies that fell through the ceiling were on the floor now. Hydra agents decked in kevlar from head-to-toe, heavily armed too, and on top of them, still in a crouch, was the hooded man from the security footage.

He noticed Steve of course and straightened up. Steve could hear Clint and Natasha running towards them in the tense seconds he was staring at the unknown man, who must’ve stared back through the dust that still filled the air.

Then he took off, so Steve did as well. He did not want to lose sight of him. This man could lead him to Bucky. Unfortunately, his speed was just as impressive as his strength, because while Steve could keep up, he didn’t manage to get closer. When the corners came, left and right and left again, Steve only caught glimpses of his dark overcoat, then he was gone altogether. Steve randomly picked corners after that, dashing through the building, jumping over dead Hydra operatives when they were in the way. He ran down a short flight of stairs and found himself on a different corridor. Darker, more narrow. He stopped then, because there was no point.

‘ _Steve, where are you?_ ’ Natasha asked, finally activating her comm-link now that they were separated.

‘A floor below, stairs are on the North-West side, I think. I lost him.’

‘ _We’ll find you eventually_ ,’ Natasha said confidently. ‘ _Keep looking, we’ll do the same._ ’

It made sense. They couldn’t waste time searching for each other when they knew for sure that at least the hooded man was here. Steve started walking again with a brisk pace, straining his ears for any possible noise that might give him a hint where to go.

In the end, he saw some bloody fingerprints on a door-frame. He heard nothing from the other side, but he still gripped his shield tightly and opened the metal door as quietly as possible. He was a bit surprised that it wasn’t locked. Somebody must’ve opened it already.

It was a security room, the central hub Clint assumed existed. Inside was nothing but three pairs of dead eyes, the bodies as old as all the others they found. The monitors were blank or grainy with no signal, cameras disabled or damaged, none of them showed anything worthwhile. The room itself was pretty huge, maybe meant to be used for briefings as well. He walked closer to the bodies, two out of three were still in their chairs, the third one clearly carelessly tossed down on the floor between them. The smell was pretty bad, but Steve could deal.

‘Hey Steve.’

He stopped breathing, but just for a second, his body was already turning towards the familiar voice. A reflex maybe, not being able to ignore it, not even for the shortest amount of time. And it was his name, his name! He said his name, just like thousands of times before. Steve’s breath rushed out of him at once as they finally stood face-to-face, looking at one another.

A long moment passed, filled with nothing but the sound of his own blood pumping in his ears. He licked his lips and tried to speak. His voice came out quiet, almost gentle, he couldn’t help it.

‘Hey Bucky.’

* * *

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky looked okay, healthy. That was the first thing that popped into Steve’s head again. Just like when he saw him on the recording. He looked tired though. Those dark rings under his eyes were unmistakable. His face was mostly blank, but his eyes were burning as he silently stared at Steve.

And he was holding a crowbar in his hand.

‘Do... do you know who I am?’ Steve asked, his whole body tense, ready to defend himself. Not that he thought Bucky would come at him with a crowbar, when he could see at least three guns on his person and at least one knife, but he had to ask. So much time passed. He had to remember... something.

‘Yes,’ Bucky answered quietly as he took a few steps closer.

‘Do you remember me?’ Steve asked then, because knowing him was one thing. He could’ve read a file or simply one of the thousand books or articles written about him. Hell, Hydra briefed him before they sent him out to kill him. So just knowing him and his name meant very little.

Bucky glanced up at him again, kept their eyes locked for a few seconds.

‘Yes,’ he said then, with the same quiet, basically empty tone. Then he forcefully wedged the crowbar into the floor and started prying open a floor panel.

Steve had a thousand questions. If Bucky remembered him, why didn’t he contact him? Or let himself be found? Why was he attacking Hydra now, when he left them alone for so long? How was he? Where was he staying? How much did he remember? Just... he wanted to grab him by the shoulders and demand answers. Or just lock his arms around him for a long moment, to make sure he was real.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked instead.

Bucky surprised him when he answered, sounding irritated. The tone reminded him of crisp dark mornings, when Bucky had to drag himself out of bed too early and he hated the world for it.

‘I’ve been trying to find this fucking door for three goddamn days,’ he said as he finally got the panel off. He grabbed it with his metal arm to pull it out of the way, then he immediately started working on a panel right next to it.

Steve figured it was safe to move a little closer.

‘Bucky...’

‘Not now,’ he cut him off.

‘I’ve been looking for you... I...’ He swallowed and took a deep breath. ‘I’ve been...’

He’s been searching for so long. And this was really not the situation he expected. Not how he pictured their “reunion”.

‘I know,’ Bucky said, his voice was still quiet, neutral. He only stopped for a moment as he answered, then he got the second panel off.

‘Are you... how much do you remember?’

‘I said; not know,’ Bucky told him, still neutral, still quiet, but a bit firmer. Bucky’s never been quiet, not like this at least. It was off-putting.

‘You can’t expect me to not ask questions, Bucky,’ Steve said.

Bucky stayed silent as he tossed the second heavy panel aside. Steve saw that there was some sort of a trapdoor underneath, but a few panels still needed to be removed to access it.

‘ _Steve, you copy? Where are you?_ ’ Natasha asked through the comm-link.

Steve hesitated.

‘I’m fine,’ he replied to her then. He had to tell them that he was okay. Bucky looked up at him again. ‘No sight of the hooded man.’

She must’ve caught something in his tone, she always did. Steve just couldn’t fool her.

‘ _And Barnes?_ ’ she asked.

Steve took another deep breath.

‘I’ve got it under control,’ he answered firmly.

‘ _We’re coming_ ,’ she said.

‘No, I’ve got this,’ Steve insisted. Bucky tossed aside another panel, it hit the floor with an unpleasantly loud clank. ‘The situation is not... hostile.’

Natasha was silent for a few moments. Steve wasn’t sure how Bucky would react if Natasha and Clint showed up, so he wanted to give themselves a little more time, just one-on-one. He was really dead set on removing the panels for now, his full attention was firmly focused on that, but he was definitely paying attention to what Steve was saying. And Steve... he was way out of his depth here. Bucky was... he didn’t even know, he just couldn’t tell. He thought he would be able to tell, once he saw him in person, once he could look at his face and into his eyes, but he had no idea. He was not hostile, he said he remembered Steve, but he was not... not reacting in a way Steve thought he would once he had his memories back. Sam always told him not to expect anything, because there was no way to tell how Bucky would be like, but Steve still kinda thought he had a pretty accurate guess about how this would go down. He was wrong as it turned out.

‘ _We’re going to secure the upper floors_ ,’ Natasha told him in the end. ‘ _If the situation changes in any way, call us. Don’t be stupid_.’

‘You got it,’ Steve promised.

‘ _We will join you shortly, make no mistake about that_ ,’ she added. Steve was not even surprised about that. After they sort of put together how things went down between him and Bucky on the Helicarrier, they didn’t really trust him to handle any sort of Winter Soldier-related situation sensibly. Steve kinda wanted to remind them that his lack of common sense really did not just apply to things concerning Bucky, but he knew when not to work against himself.

Bucky tossed aside another panel and started working on the last one.

Steve wanted to reach out, lift his head to take a closer look at his face again, but he remained firmly in one place, resisting the urge to close the distance between them. He did not know what to say. He thought about it so much while he was searching, what he needed to say. But every time he pictured this scene, there was violence, confusion, or anger from Bucky. Something. He did not expect... whatever the hell was going on right now.

‘Bucky you need to answer me, just a few questions,’ he said. ‘Please.’

Bucky stopped again, straightened up, pulling the last panel free, and dropping it aside. A moment later the crowbar hit the ground too.

‘I think someone’s down there,’ he said.

‘What?’ Steve looked down at the trapdoor. ‘Who?’

Bucky shrugged, but the movement seemed forced, a little jerky, like he practised it a lot, but still couldn’t get it just right.

‘Prisoner, hostage, lab rat, whatever you wanna call it.’

‘What?’ Steve hurried closer, momentarily forgetting that Bucky might not react well to being approached so suddenly. Bucky did not attack or back off though, his eyes were firmly on the trapdoor and its opening mechanism. He crouched down and started inspecting it more closely.

‘You said you’ve been searching for this door?’ Steve asked.

Bucky seemed unwilling to answer questions about himself, but he was forthcoming with information when it came to their current situation. It was a start, at least they were talking. Maybe if they just started a steady stream of words, they would get to the more important questions.

‘Three days,’ Bucky confirmed. ‘Building’s been sealed off.’

Natasha was right about that then.

‘And most Hydra operatives rather popped their cyanide pills than risk being interrogated by me.’

Steve firmly pushed aside his questions about interrogations.

‘You’ve got locked in?’ he asked instead. Bucky grunted in answer, it was a “yes” sounding grunt. ‘Wait, three days? Has this trapdoor been locked since?’

‘Looks like it,’ Bucky said. ‘They hid it when we got here.’

Steve wanted to ask about the “we”, the hooded man, why Bucky was here, why he was in Delaware, why they let themselves be recorded, but he had to shove those questions aside too for the time being. Whoever was down there, they had been down there for at least three days. They had to get them out of there, quickly.

Steve crouched down too and felt relieved when Bucky didn’t react to his proximity. He seemed to be fine with Steve being this close, he was not weary or cautious. Well, if he really did remember Steve, he knew he was not going to be attacked.

‘Turn the levers there, I got these ones,’ he said.

‘No, I need to find the wire first,’ Bucky said.

‘It’s rigged?’

Again, just that grunt. Steve watched him as he searched, using the opportunity to take a closer look at his face. The stubble did look three days old and if he’s been here this long, it explained the apparent exhaustion as well. He was focused, his hands were steady, but he was still... off. He was obviously not the way Steve remembered him from before he fell, but he was also not like the ruthless assassin that attacked him. He acted calm, spoke softly and neutrally, but it felt like a lie. Like it was practised, like it was staged. It just... Steve was happy he wasn’t being shot at, or that he was not dodging knives and fists, but it still bothered him. He had the urge to grab him and shake him, just tell him to cut it out!

Bucky made a little curious noise and then Steve watched him as he expertly disarmed whatever explosives were rigged on the trapdoor.

‘Turn the levers, same time as me,’ Bucky instructed.

Steve was not an idiot. He knew very well there was a chance that he was aiding and abetting, so to speak. He knew he had no reason to take Bucky’s words at face-value, but... well, if someone was really down there and Steve hesitated; it could end badly.

Besides, he was pretty sure Bucky could get this thing open on his own, or he could have his unknown hooded accomplice help him with it. So there was no point not doing it. At least, that was what he was going to say to the others if this blew up in his face.

They turned the levers and opened the trapdoor. It was pretty dark in there, but Bucky did not hesitate at all. He grabbed the ladder and started descending right away. Steve did have a bad feeling about all this, but he was who he was, so he put his shield back on his back and grabbed the ladder too.

He was halfway down when dim lights came on below him, so he at least saw where he was going. The level below was a lot smaller than expected and the large drawers on the first wall he glanced at looked like something out of a morgue. Oh, let this not be a morgue.

There were doors too, but Steve’s eyes merely slid over them. And then he turned around and saw the glass. Bucky was right, there was someone down here. He activated his comm-link as he rushed closer.

‘Natasha, we’re going to need medical help,’ he said.

‘ _We’re already on our way, what happened?_ ’

Steve stared at the small figure curled up in the far corner of the little glass cubicle and didn’t have the right words to describe what he was seeing. The frame of the body was too small to belong to an adult. He couldn’t even tell whether it was a boy or a girl, the clothes they had on were a little baggy and nondescript, their hair was shorn and he couldn’t see their face properly.

‘We found a captive,’ Steve said in the end. ‘A... it’s a kid Nat, they kept a kid here dammit.’

‘ _The plane will be back in twenty,_ ’ she said, her voice went incredibly hard and cold. ‘ _How bad is it?_ ’

‘ _I don’t know--_ ’

The door on the little cubicle slid open. Steve jerked his head to the side and saw that Bucky had his hands on a panel. Steve nodded his thanks and carefully stepped inside. The child didn’t move as Steve approached, from the size of the body their age had to be somewhere around 10 or 12.

‘Hey, you probably can’t understand me, but I’m here to help,’ Steve spoke as gently as he could. He heard some noise from behind him, but he focused his attention on the child huddled in the corner. He crouched down and reached out very slowly. The child did not react, not even to his touch. Shit. They seemed physically uninjured, but who knew what Hydra did to them. This was turning Steve’s stomach.

Every time he thought he saw all the horrors Hydra was capable of, every time he thought it couldn’t possibly be worse, they proved him wrong. Intellectually, he knew that Wanda and Pietro were young too when Hydra and Von Stucker got their hands on them. It was still different to see a child locked up like this.

‘It’s going to be all right,’ he murmured quietly, even thought he knew his words were empty and had little meaning at the moment. He hoped his voice sounded comforting, or at least not hostile.

The glass door slid shut behind him.

Steve spun around immediately and he saw from the corner of his eye that the child jerked in reaction to the sudden movement.

‘It’s fine, it’s okay,’ Steve tried to soothe them immediately, but since there was very little he could do for them, he turned around completely.

Bucky stood calmly on the other side of the glass, a dark metal suitcase in one hand.

‘Bucky--’

‘I’m sorry,’ Bucky said. ‘Your friends can open the door. Panel’s right there, they’ll be here soon.’

‘Bucky, what are you doing?’

A dark shape dropped down from the hole that lead to the floor above. The hooded man.

‘They sealed us in, but we can finally leave with that big hole you blew in the line,’ Bucky said. ‘Sorry about that too, this place is tricky, not a two-man job.’

Steve frowned and added two and two together. It was for him then, the recording. Or for the Avengers in general, it didn’t matter. His eyes lingered on the dark suitcase for a moment before he caught Bucky’s eyes again. For the first time Steve caught some sort of emotion on Bucky’s face, even if it was still faint, suppressed. He avoided Steve’s gaze, he seemed guilty.

The hooded man was moving behind Bucky by the wall, his back to them, so Steve couldn’t see what he was doing.

‘Why? Why all this? Here, and in Delaware?’ Steve asked. His heart was beating heavily, his chest tight with emotions he could not even begin to identify. He just knew that it hurt. He needed answers.

‘I...’ Bucky paused, looked away and clenched his jaw. Steve couldn’t tell whether he looked stubborn or determined. It was somewhere on a fine line between the two. ‘Take that kid out of here,’ was all he said.

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but the wall behind Bucky cracked, and the noise silenced him. The hooded man stepped to the side as the crack grew bigger and chunks of the wall started to fall away. But there was no other room behind it. There was strange light and a noise Steve couldn’t recognize. As the cracks widened and more of the wall fell away, Steve realized that something completely unnatural was going on.

The edge of the rugged hole was turning black, as if shaded with charcoal, and behind was gaping darkness. No, not just darkness, there were distant shapes and tiny movements, like how dark and lazy water rippled. There were clouds or smoke and tiny blinking spots. Steve didn’t know what he was looking at.

When the pieces of the wall stopped dropping a strong wind picked up in the room, a draft coming from nowhere, and a deep humming noise itched at his ears and sent shivers down Steve’s spine. Bucky turned around.

‘No,’ Steve protested right away. ‘Bucky, no!’

Bucky stopped. The hooded man crossed his arms over his chest. Impatient, maybe. Steve paid very little attention to him.

‘Bucky... don’t do this, whatever this is, just... don’t go... please.’

When Bucky looked back at him, Steve could read the apology clearly on his face, but he said nothing. As he approached the hole, more movement swirled inside of it, crawling towards the edge. The blackness spread out even more. The way that dark colour extended and moved, it looked almost as if it were alive. And Steve was suddenly terrified, because Bucky was walking into this thing, this swirling, pulsing chasm of nothingness.

‘Bucky, don’t! No!’

But he did. He walked right into it, with the confidence of someone who either knew no fear, or did this a thousand times before. His whole body was swallowed up and he vanished in a blink. Steve stared at the vortex, abyss, he didn’t know what to call it. Then his eyes slid over to the hooded man. For the first time Steve was close enough to him to catch a pair of blood-red eyes. The man raised a gloved hand to his head, gave him a mock of a salute, then followed Bucky into the void. In less than a couple of seconds the colours and the darkness vanished and there was nothing left but giant cracks in the wall.

Natasha and Clint arrived literally minutes after. Steve told them where the panel to the glass cage was. But after that he did not know how to answer any of their questions.

* * *

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

‘The girl’s name is Zora Đjurović,’ Natasha told them when she returned. ‘She went missing over a year ago, was assumed dead.’

‘So what did Hydra want with her?’ asked Sam.

‘She’s the daughter of a Serbian general, but so far we’ve got nothing from him. He’ll have to answer some questions later. He’s staying with his daughter in the hospital for now.’

‘So was she a prisoner or did they want her for anything else?’ Clint asked.

‘She’s still being examined,’ Natasha said. ‘They’ll call me if they notice anything unusual about her. She’s traumatized, she doesn’t speak, but she is relatively healthy, and uninjured.’

‘This is so messed-up,’ Sam sighed. Sick bastards, who would keep a little girl like that, locked up in some glass cage in a basement. They could only guess at the moment. Maybe she was used to control her father, if he even knew she was alive, or there could be something even more sinister about her abduction and imprisonment. Hydra was known for getting their hands on people with unusual potential.

‘They have paid for this dreadful crime,’ Thor said with a hard voice. ‘We have killed or captured all that have not been defeated by our Captain’s friend and his companion.’

Steve remained silent, even when almost all of them glanced his way. He’s been very tight-lipped about what happened after he ran into Barnes. What he said sounded like a very clinical report, very unlike Steve. He was still processing what happened, deep in thought, eyes far away.

‘My question is,’ Clint started. ‘Why did they lure us here, if that guy could make a friggin’ door to nowhere? I mean, I would get it if they suspected that the building would be locked down, and they needed someone to get in from the outside.’

‘I believe the building might have been sealed off in more ways than our eyes could see,’ Thor said.

‘You mean the occult shit?’ Clint asked.

‘I do not know all the symbols they have etched on the walls, but we mustn’t underestimate the knowledge Hydra has gathered through the years.’

‘We did find those freaky things on walls all over the place,’ Sam nodded. For a moment his world felt very surreal, discussing this sort of thing, but he marched onwards. Eyes on the ball, they needed to think, not freak out about weird Hydra magic defences.

‘So, we can assume that they did need us to get in from the outside. Does that mean there really is just the two of them?’ theorized Natasha. ‘Did the two of them attack every single one of the Hydra facilities?’

Under normal circumstances, it would have been impossible for two guys to raid that many bases all around the world in under twenty-four hours. Now they had to look at all of this differently. Sam did not see this door himself, but even just hearing Steve describe it made him uneasy. It sounded like something out of a nightmare.

‘We really need more information about this hooded guy,’ Clint said.

‘He had red eyes,’ Steve spoke finally. ‘I don’t think it was just the light from that... door. He had blood-red eyes.’

‘Well, that oughta narrow the search down,’ Sam said.

‘You’d think,’ Clint snorted, then signed something to Natasha. Sam only recognized the three-fingered claw he made out of his hand and moved it in front of his face. That was “weird”. The rest of it escaped him, but he was sure it was just some smart-ass comment. He really enjoyed signing those when Natasha was around. Like a kid who kept whispering jokes in their friend’s ear.

Natasha signed something back, a small smile at the corner of her mouth.

‘We should head to Poland,’ Steve said then.

‘Don’t you want to wait for more news about the kid?’ Sam asked.

‘I doubt she actually has anything to do with the packages,’ Steve said. ‘I’m glad we found her, and that she’ll be okay, but we need to get to the bottom of this. The more time we waste, the less chance there is that we will find anything at all by the East Wall.’

‘Do we know where the Hydra fort is on this wall?’ Thor asked.

‘Not yet, but after what we found here in Nis, I can probably convince more agencies to give us a helping hand,’ Natasha said. ‘I’ll make some calls.’

She left the room.

‘I still don’t get how they knew we would come here,’ Sam said after a few moments of silence. ‘They were already locked in for three days, I mean, what if we went to Poland first?’

‘No chance of that,’ Clint said. ‘They left a pile of bodies in what’s basically our backyard, and a video footage of Barnes. There was no chance in hell Cap wasn’t gonna jump right into this. No offence,’ he added.

‘None taken,’ Steve shrugged. ‘We’re exactly where they wanted us to be.’

‘Then they probably also know that we will head to the East Wall,’ Thor concluded. ‘Are we going to follow the road they paved for us?’

‘For now,’ Steve said. Sam thought about it for a moment. Maybe it was not the smartest thing to do, go where they were being lead. But if this base proved anything, it was that they could do more than just gather intelligence. If they wouldn’t have come here this soon, who knows what would have happened to the girl. He kinda wished it didn’t feel like some sort of a cruel incentive to move forward.

‘Never it be said that the Avengers refuse an invitation like this,’ Clint said. ‘Whatever they’re up to, they want us to play too.’

‘Well said, my friend,’ Thor agreed. ‘We know more than we knew when we came here. Soon we will have the whole truth. And we shall vanquish more of Hydra’s foul dens while we’re searching for answers.’

* * *

Predictably, they were en-route to Poland as soon as humanly possible. Clint passed out the second they took off with the plane, Thor also seemed to have the ability to sleep anywhere, while Natasha only just recently stopped going over data and exchanging information with Hill. Sam slept a little too, but when a little turbulence woke him up he saw that Steve was still just sitting in his seat, staring out of the tiny window next to him.

Sam rubbed his face and got up to walk over to him.

‘Cap, you haven’t slept since Nat called you from Delaware,’ Sam reminded him. ‘You need rest, super-soldier or no super-soldier.’

‘I tried,’ Steve answered. ‘Didn’t really work.’

Sam sat down into one of the empty seats close to him. This was a private plane, just big enough for a small team like theirs. Nobody else was on-board besides them and the pilot.

The thing was, he’s been trying to help Steve get prepared for the day they would eventually catch up with Bucky. Sam was not gonna lie, he expected everything from not so bad to catastrophic. And he knew, he was absolutely certain, that Steve was not prepared for some of the scenarios Sam had in his mind. Physically and strategically, sure, but not mentally.

Bucky Barnes died, well... went missing, not long before Steve went down with his plane. When he woke up in the 21st century, the loss for him was still fresh, the wound still raw. On top of that, he’s been told everyone else he ever knew was dead too. Then of course came SHIELD and the Battle of New York.

He was still not completely okay when Sam met him, but at least he had time to deal, to mourn, to accept the loss, and to adjust to his new life. The Winter Soldier changed all that. It’s like those whole two years of progress Steve had made was unravelled in a matter of days. And no matter how much Steve tried to get his footing back, how much he tired to be okay again, it just didn’t quite work. Not with all the battles Steve had to fight regularly. Not with Barnes missing.

And now this... Life just punched Steve in the gut again, Sam could tell. Steve always rolled with the punches, sure, and he always stood up and kept going, but that didn’t mean Sam had to like the look it put in his eyes.

‘Look, Cap, he’s gonna show up again,’ Sam told him. ‘And we’re gonna get some answers. We’ll understand more then.’

Steve took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat.

‘He said he remembered me,’ Steve said. ‘And yet... I don’t know. He said “sorry”... when he locked me in, said “sorry” for luring me there in the first place, but then he walked right into that hole.’

‘Cap, I’m not even gonna try to figure out what’s going on in his head, but this thing is growing bigger by the minute. This is not just some quest for revenge, he’s... they’re up to something.’

‘And what they’re up to might be something bad. Is that what you’re telling me?’ Steve looked at him, his eyes practically begging Sam to say “no” to that question.

‘I don’t know,’ Sam said. ‘Maybe, maybe not. We talked about this before. Yes, he was barely awake for the last seventy years, but what Hydra did to him is going to leave its mark. Nobody bounces back from something like that.’

‘I know that, Sam.’

Sam tried to gather his thoughts. He really wanted Steve to understand this, at the same time he did not want to crush all his hopes. Not that he probably could. But Steve really did not need Sam to argue with him on top of everything else.

‘Look, he’s not going around hurting innocent people,’ Sam settled on. ‘That’s good, I’m not saying it’s not. He seems to be strictly on a Hydra-only kill-streak.’

‘But?’ Steve prompted.

‘But he’s also not some lost little lamb here. He’s very well trained, and from what we saw of the Hydra bases he steamrolled through, he knows exactly what he’s doing. I know you had this picture in your head; him wandering alone, confused without his memories. But it’s pretty clear he knows how to take care of himself.’

‘If you’re trying to tell me again that he’s the kind you stop and not--’

‘That’s not what I’m saying,’ Sam put his hands up. ‘I’m saying he doesn’t need saving either. It doesn’t look like he does.’

‘I hope you’re not expecting me to just give up.’

‘Hell no,’ Sam smiled. ‘Your buddy needs to answer some damn questions. What I want you to do is look at this as it is. You’re not running after him to save him here, not if he’s all right enough in the head to make his own choices.’

‘How do we know that? I barely spoke to him. We can’t just assume that he’s doing this, any of this, willingly. Or that he’s clear in the head enough to know what he’s doing.’

Sam sighed, but he couldn’t really argue. There was no proof either way.

‘You’re right,’ Sam said. Steve visibly relaxed hearing that. ‘But both option is possible. So I want you to be prepared for both.’

‘I am.’

‘Are you sure?’ Sam questioned.

Steve nodded. ‘We need to know what’s going on here, so we get to the bottom of this. After that, if he’s really okay enough to make his own choices...’ he fell silent for a moment. ‘Well, I guess it depends on what exactly he’s doing.’

Seeing Steve this crestfallen was tough. It was like something horrible happened in the world. Sam really hoped Barnes knew what the hell he was doing, and that it wasn’t something they needed to stop. Sam didn’t think any sort of conversation about stopping Barnes would go over well with Steve. The guy was literally his biggest weakness, but damn, did Sam understand all too well.

‘Way too early to say whether he wants to stick around or not in the long run,’ Sam said, sliding over to the optimistic side of the conversation. ‘One step at a time, okay? Innocent until proven guilty.’ He knew Steve was grateful, and it was good to see him smile a little bit in reaction. Even if he still looked like crap.

‘And go to sleep dammit, or I’m gonna ask Natasha to sedate you.’ It was an empty threat, but Steve smiled again, so it was worth it.

‘Fine,’ Steve said, with the tone of a stubborn long-suffering child. He even huffed when he got more comfortable. Sam just shook his head and patted his shoulder as he stood up.

‘Hey,’ Steve called after him. ‘Thanks.’

‘Any time, Cap,’ Sam smiled back. ‘Go to sleep.’

Steve gave him a tiny salute.

* * *

Sam woke up again when someone nudged him in the shoulder. He groaned and rubbed at his eyes. He did not sleep nearly enough.

‘Are we there?’ he asked.

‘No, but there’s news,’ Steve said. Sam’s eyes popped open, because that tone of voice meant nothing good.

‘What happened?’ he asked, sitting up straight.

‘Looks like things are kicking up in Poland,’ said Clint. He was perching on the armrest of Natasha’s seat, Thor stood behind them. Sam got up and moved to Thor’s left while Steve to his right.

Natasha had some news video open on her laptop. The reporter was talking in Polish though, so Sam didn’t understand a thing. The video itself showed long lines of mangled and burning cars on a city street. There were ambulances, police cars, fire fighters.

‘What the hell?’

‘Poznań,’ Clint provided the location helpfully.

‘They’re still trying to figure out what happened. Witnesses reported colourful explosions,’ Natasha said, or translated probably. ‘And strange animal sounds, loud enough that windows were shaking from it, then all hell broke lose. So far they didn’t find anyone who actually saw anything, there’s just a lot of damage.’

That was an understatement. The news channel kept showing deep cracks in the road, and what seemed like large slashes on the side of a bus and some of the wrecked cars. Sam did not want to know how that happened, his mind was already coming up with horrible scenarios. He caught sight of some bullet holes too. Your life was weird when bullet torn windshields kept you anchored in reality.

The reported reached up to her ear in the corner of the screen, then started speaking rapidly. Something happened. A second later the camera switched over to a helicopter-view not that high above the city. The helicopter was slowly circling the rooftop of a tall building. It took Sam a moment to notice the thing up on the roof, cause it was the same colour as concrete. It looked dead, since it was partially stabbed through and wrapped up in... a fire-escape handrail? Holy shit. And it was huge! Enormous claws on all four feet (arms and legs?), a long bony tail, and a large slightly cone-like head.

‘Is that an alien?’ Clint asked. ‘Please don’t tell me we have aliens again.’

‘I have never seen such a beast before,’ Thor rumbled. And that... that was not a good sign.

‘Are you sure?’ Steve asked him.

‘I believe I would remember such a gruesome creature, Captain,’ Thor said. ‘Especially something this large. By the Tree, it has to be close to seven feet long.’

‘So it’s not an alien?’ Clint asked.

‘What else could it be?’ Sam asked. ‘It’s not native in Eastern Europe, I can tell you that much.’

‘Is this connected?’ Steve asked. ‘How far is Poznań from the East Wall?’

‘Right in the neighbourhood,’ Natasha said, then she turned a little to look at Steve. ‘And do you believe in coincidences like this?’

‘Not really,’ Steve admitted.

The news channel showed some people taking to cops, others being looked after by paramedics.

‘Casualties?’ Steve asked.

‘No deaths so far,’ Natasha told them. ‘The streets were basically empty this early in the morning. Some people say they heard a lot of gunshots too, not just explosions and... well, growling I guess, there were mixed reports about that. We know what made that sound though.’

‘This just turned into whole new ball game, people,’ Sam said. ‘Again. Hydra and its shit experiments and weird magic stuff... fine, but this... what the hell is this?’

‘Steve, we have to call Wanda and Pietro at the very least’ Natasha said. ‘If not everyone.’

‘She’s right, Cap, look at that thing,’ Clint agreed. ‘I mean, Thor could probably take one down, but we’re going in basically blind here, and I don’t like our chances.’

‘Bruce is still in Malaysia,’ Steve said. ‘And I don’t think Tony’s up for... anything.’

‘I’m calling it, Cap,’ Clint said. ‘We need Vision too. All in favour say “aye”.’

‘Aye,’ they all said in unison. Steve looked at Sam.

‘You’ve never even met him,’ he said.

‘Man, we’ve got weird giant alien-demon things, Hydra strike teams, occult shit and magic portals, not to mention your old pal and his new friend. Call your whole damn clubhouse, we’re gonna need back-up.’

‘Come on, Steve, he’s not so bad,’ Natasha coaxed.

‘He’s just... fine, call them,’ Steve relented.

‘Are we heading to Poznań then?’ Clint asked. ‘We should take a look at that thing.’

‘Might as well,’ Steve nodded. ‘Until we know where that Hydra facility is, we have nowhere else to go.’

‘Hill is working on it, so is Bobbi,’ Natasha promised. ‘We’re going to find it.’

‘Yeah, I know. I’m just starting to worry about what we’re going to find,’ Steve said.

Truth to be told, he really wasn’t the only one.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

It weighted heavily on Thor’s heart, to see his friend in such obvious pain. It was different, yet achingly familiar to him. He never would have dared voice this out loud, in fear Steve would believe it an insult to his friend, but Thor still thought that he understood what he was going through because of his own life experiences. He was not going to say it, because the situation itself couldn’t be more different. Steve’s friend Barnes was not to be blamed for anything that had been done to him, and therefore also not for what he had done.

Thor knew about the great wars that plagued this world in the past century, but he had never paid too much attention to it from Asgard. He had not cared, was the honest truth. If he remembered correctly, he heard about it mostly by catching bits and pieces of Loki and his mother discussing it. He never sought out Heimdall to ask how things fared in Midgard. He had only ever done that when he planned to visit the realm, which he did not intend to do at the time. So the first time he was faced with Hydra, he took it upon himself to learn more about the wars, in order learn more about their enemy. The extent of cold cruelty humans were capable of shocked him to his core.

He knew it even before, that there were men and women with wicked hearts who committed evil deeds on Midgard. But that great war, the second one, Thor had never seen such evil. He never even heard of such a thing, not even among the countless tales about the war with the Frost Giants. Since then, he’d learnt that the great war with its countless deaths was just one of the many horrible crimes humans committed against one another. Hydra itself proved time and time again that their evil knew no bounds.

Thor feared what the vile organisation had done this time. Midgardian science was quickly evolving, but the more Thor saw of the hideouts Barnes and his companion wiped out, the more he feared it was not science they needed to worry about. Hydra clearly ventured deeper into knowledge not yet meant for humans. The mystic and arcane arts of the Nine Realms, Thor feared, would bring too much destruction in the hands of the likes of Hydra. And yet, it seemed they were already using such knowledge.

They flew to the city of Poznań to look at the mysterious creature with their own eyes. Thor tried to think of all the places it could’ve come from, since he visited all of the realms at one point or another, but he just couldn’t place it. That probably meant that the beast came from somewhere different. If he took the body back to Asgard he could maybe consult someone about it. Then he would be able to learn more than the Midgardians with their undeveloped machines. He didn’t think there was time or need for a journey to Asgard though... not yet anyway.

‘What do you think?’ Natasha prompted as Thor examined the beast a little more closely.

‘It is certainly a fearsome creature,’ Thor said. ‘Its skin is thick enough to not be harmed by the bullets you have in guns. Probably most knives or swords would break as well instead of piercing through this thick hide.’

‘Oh, goody,’ Clint murmured.

‘Could you kill one?’ Steve asked him.

‘I do not know how strong it is, but I believe so. I have hunted greater beasts before. I would be mindful of the claws though... and the teeth.’

The creature’s mouth jutted forward, much like a canine’s. The four main fangs were as big as one of Thor’s fingers, but the rest were long and razor sharp as well, the teeth and jaw of a predator. The body itself was incredibly muscular, not an inch of fat, just hard edges. It had a long pointed tail. Then there were two slightly horn-like appendages coming out of the creature’s forehead, curving inwards and back along the long skull. When he pried back an eyelid he found lifeless red eyes.

‘Do you have any idea where it came from?’ Sam asked him.

Thor shook his head.

‘I am sorry my friends, but this is no creature of the Nine Realms. It’s... different. Feels different even, its smell is... unsettling. I do not know why.’

‘Yeah, it’s a big dead alien, course it smells bad,’ Clint said.

‘That is not what I meant. It does not smell like death, it’s too fresh for that anyway. It’s just... hard to put it in words. It does not feel like it belongs here, not in a world like this.’

Thor was sure he was still not explaining it right.

‘Then what kind of world?’ Natasha questioned.

‘If I knew the answer to that, we would be well prepared indeed for things to come. Sadly, I do not know yet. This is not my... area of expertise, if you wish.’

‘If it does not belong here, than who brought it here?’ Steve asked, focusing on the important questions, as always.

‘I do not believe them to be friendly, that is for certain,’ Thor settled on. ‘And I do not think it is an “alien” in the manner that you use that word.’

‘So magic. We’re talking about magic,’ Natasha concluded.

‘I know you use that word for describing impossible and unnatural things,’ Thor said. ‘And while it certainly may appear so at first glance, you need to understand that such ancient arts are just as firmly a part of existence as the other laws of nature.’

‘Okay, we don’t have time to talk about what magic actually means,’ Steve said. ‘We know that everything we found so far points in that direction. How does Hydra fit in all this? Did they bring this thing here? Did they create it?’

‘If Hydra is making things like this, then we have some serious trouble on our hands,’ Sam added.

Thor always admired how quickly his friends could accept something that was so very outside of their frame of reference. They accepted it and immediately started searching for ways to deal with it. They learnt and adapted fast, it was truly exceptional, and one of his favourite things about Midgardians.

‘I’d say it’s not likely that humans could create such a creature, but I have underestimated your kind before,’ Thor said. ‘We need to find their fortress on the East Wall.’

‘Agreed,’ Steve nodded.

‘Are we gonna talk about the fact that someone killed this thing?’ Clint spoke up. ‘I mean, you just said that it’s probably very hard to kill. So who did it?’

They were all in silence for a moment, contemplating the possibilities.

‘If it’s all connected...’ Natasha mused. ‘The hooded man? He definitely has extraordinary abilities; strength, speed, whatever he did to open that door.’

‘Or someone we don’t know yet,’ Sam said.

Thor nodded, it could have very well been someone they haven’t encountered yet. But much like Steve and Natasha, Thor did not truly believe in such coincidences.

* * *

In the end, they needed not to search, for they were lead to Hydra’s hidden fortress. They decided to stay in Poznań for another night, wait for their newest companions to arrive from America. That night Thor woke to the sound of the glass in his window shaking, and bright lights behind the curtain. He sprung up and yanked the heavy curtains aside. He immediately saw the strange and colourful lights outside of the city, they were close enough to fill the night sky with vibrant colours.

‘Rise my friends! Quickly!’ he yelled. Thor’s small room only had one bed, but Steve and Sam had settled right next to his. They would hear him. He was quick to pull on his trousers and boots, but did not bother with the rest, he could summon his armour on his way. He called Mjölnir to his hand and left the room in a hurry. He immediately pounded on the door next to his.

Steve yanked the door open a few seconds after. He was already half-way dressed in his uniform.

‘The lights!’ Thor hurried to explain.

‘I saw,’ nodded Steve. ‘Wake Clint and Natasha, if they’re not up yet. Then just go, if you’re okay to go ahead without us. We’ll catch up with you.’

Thor nodded and ran down the corridor to the room Clint and Natasha had taken. Sadly, there was no free one closer to the rest of them. The door was already open a few inches, so Thor just ran inside. The two of them were almost completely ready to go.

‘I will fly ahead, my friends,’ Thor told them as they were quickly gathering their things. ‘Steve and Sam are almost done, join them. I’ll meet you there.’

‘Be careful, okay?’ Natasha warned him. ‘If there is more than one of those things, it could get dangerous, even for you.’

‘Aye, I’m aware,’ Thor nodded and left the room. The window at the end of the corridor was the closest, so he opened it and climbed outside. He only needed to spin Mjölnir around a few times, then he jumped out, taking flight. He felt the wind pick up as he flew higher, and lightning sizzled around him as his armour returned to him on his command. Barely passed a few seconds and he could hear his cape billowing behind him.

He kept his eyes trained on the ground in search of the strange lights and possible explosions. He believed he was flying West, but he did not have time to orient himself properly, or look at the stars. He did flew over a lake before his attention was drawn to a forest underneath him. There were no more lights or colourful explosions, but he saw birds flying in panicky swarms, he saw trees toppling over. He landed right away.

He heard the sound of combat almost immediately. He assumed it was the growling or snarling of the grey beast. The treetops were too thick to see anything from above them, so Thor started running towards the fight among the trees instead of taking flight again.

Only his quick reflexes saved him from collision, when a huge body hurled towards him through the trees, breaking trunks on its way. Maybe it jumped at him, maybe it was thrown, but Thor was quick to roll aside and take up a fighting stance. The grey beast quickly got on its hind-legs, stretching up to its full height. It looked back in the direction it came from, but then its red eyes locked on Thor. It was an intelligent thing, that was for certain, no mindless animal. Thor adjusted his grip on his hammer. He knew his foe not, so he did not attack first.

They circled one another, the creature was seizing him up just as much as Thor was measuring his opponent. There was a low rumbling coming from the creature’s chest, something deeper than a growl. It raised its head suddenly, looking again in the direction it came from. It huffed and sputtered, then lunged at Thor. He had to dodge the enormous claws, the thing was fast! Thor could feel his heartbeat picking up, the heat of battle filling his veins.

Thor backed off two more times, evading the beast’s dangerous mouth and teeth, then he could finally swing his hammer and hit the thing on the side of its head. It went flying from the force of it; not that far, but hard enough to knock some trees down. Then it got up to all fours and shook its head, rumbling deeply again.

‘A tough one, eh?’ Thor grinned.

The monster was angry now, it charged at Thor quickly, so he was forced to evade again. He wasn’t certain about his chances if he tried to stand his ground. He used to be too proud (too stupid) to get out of the way of an attack like this, but now he knew better. He hit the beast in its side, then kicked at a hind leg, wanting to get it off balance. A sharp and bony tail smacked him in the face in return and Thor felt blood welling up on his cheek. Then the creature spun around and slashed at him with its claws. Thor dropped to the ground, because it was the only way to avoid getting badly clawed up, then he rolled away when the thing tried to bite him. He kicked it in the head, twice, then threw Mjölnir at its ugly face for good measure. The beast staggered from the blow, backing off, so Thor got to his feet again.

He was certain that he could defeat the creature, but he decided it would be wise not to waste too much time. So before the thing could charge again, he summoned lightning. Power lit up Mjölnir and Thor could feel it cursing through his body. The beast was not cowed by the power of storms, it charged again, but Thor was ready and released lightning at its body. It made a jagged, ear-splitting sound of pain as it abruptly dropped, its whole body electrocuted. It fell into the dirt with a heavy thud, twitching a little. Its skin was smoking slightly, no doubt its flesh burned from within. Thor walked up to it and brought down his hammer, smashed its head, just to be certain it was dead.

Thor wiped the blood from his face with the back of his hand. It would take a bit of time for the cut to heal, but it was no serious injury. It could have been worse, he was glad he only found one of these things. He looked around to pinpoint the direction the beast first came from and headed that way. He marched quickly, but did not run. Now that he fought one of these, he knew he ought to be careful in case more was around. Other enemies could be lurking nearby too.

He found two dead beasts not that far from where he battled one, and after a quick search he found where the one who killed them might have gone. The entrance was certainly well hidden by weeds and moss that had grown around it over the years. The door itself was almost down on the ground, surrounded by big rocks. There was an old rotten tree bark right next to it, recently moved. It must’ve fallen on it a long time ago.

Thor wasn’t certain his friends would be able to find where he’s gone if he ventured in. They would have to search the forest now that the fighting has ceased. They couldn’t have been far now though, so they wouldn’t lose much time if he waited for them. He spun his hammer and took flight again. He needed to lead them here.

* * *

‘Whoa,’ Sam breathed out when he descended down the stairs. He was the last one to climb down. Thor knew what had him in awe. After the long stairs they’ve arrived in a wide and tall hall. Empty and slightly dark, but still impressive. Especially considering that it was hiding underneath a forest.

‘Be cautious, my friends,’ Thor warned them all. ‘There might be more of those beasts lurking about.’

Normally Thor let Steve take the lead. He was an excellent leader, knew how to command on the battlefield, had an excellent eye for strategy. But considering their enemies, Thor felt better being the first to walk deeper into the underground fort, to be the first line of defence. The Captain was still right next to him, only a step behind.

‘Any chance there are lights in here?’ Clint asked.

‘Hydra had to use this place recently,’ Steve said. ‘We just gotta find the light switch I guess.’

‘This place doesn’t look like it was used recently,’ Natasha remarked.

‘Well, someone opened the door,’ Clint said.

‘Maybe this is a back entrance?’ Steve guessed.

They could still see a bit, but not all that much. Thor did not even see the other end of the room. It felt cold though, too chilly even for something this deep underground.

‘Let’s try find so--’ Steve started, but he fell silent when a deep rumble echoed in the hall.

Thor was immediately tensed for a fight, Mjölnir up and ready to strike.

‘Stand back,’ Thor warned them. ‘It’s one of the beasts.’

They only heard the sound of rumble for a few moments. The hall echoed so Thor couldn’t tell whether there was more than just one. Even if there was dozens of them, they were obscured by darkness.

‘ _Geh toltorg_ ,’ came a deep and slow growl from somewhere.

‘Who are you?’ Thor shouted back.

‘ _Micma, zirenaiad!_ ’ came the rumbling answer.

‘Do you understand that?’ Steve asked quietly.

‘I do not,’ Thor said with a frown. He should be able to. He should understand all living tongues. This was not right.

The next sound that came from the dark sounded like a laugh, it vibrated within the walls of the hall. The deep rumbling did not cease either.

‘ _Christeos cnila, gohus!_ ’ it continued. The rumbling grew louder, it started to truly sound like growls, excited, blood-thirty growls.

The first grey beast lunged from the dark, came right from Thor’s left. He did not understand how it moved so quietly. The second came from the front, and two others were right on its heels.

‘Retreat!’ Thor yelled as he dodged and hit the first beast in the jaw. The second got its claws in his cape, so Thor quickly unclasped it, and threw Mjölnir at it in answer. He saw that the Captain has aimed his shield at one of them and while it did not seem to do much damage, the beast clearly felt it when the heavy vibranium disk slammed into its skull.

An arrow must’ve flown by, since it exploded right at the feet of the beast Thor first hit, making it back off for a second. Of course they did not retreat, why did Thor even bother? He heard gunshots as well, although all of them knew bullets might not be able to do much damage. It was good for a diversion though. Thor managed to slam his hammer twice into a beast’s legs after it got distracted by a rain of bullets. Thor heard at least one bone break, but then the creature snarled and threw itself at him. Thor stopped its mouth by shoving the head of Mjölnir between its teeth, but he still struggled to get free. He caught the uninjured arm with his free hand, stopping the claws from reaching him. A second beast was coming at him now that he was down on the ground, only to be slammed in the head by a flying shield. It shook its head and turned, definitely running to attack Steve.

That would not do.

Thor kicked at the thing’s belly, but it did not seem to be much of a weak spot. Then he felt a sharp stab at his side. He could only glance down for a blink and saw that the beast had stabbed its pointy tail into him. Thor bit back his grunt of pain and kicked at the thing even harder, finally getting it off of himself enough to swing his hammer. This time he hit it hard enough, because Thor’s face was sprayed with warm dark blood and the beast went flying.

He just rolled over to get up when a new one charged at him. Thor braced himself for the impact. The beast crashed into the floor when a bright blur hit him from above, then a second, then a third, and a fourth. It collapsed, trying to reach back with a clawed hand to yank out the things. Spikes?

But before it could reach even one, a quick and dark shadow pounced upon its back. The hooded man held a spear in his hand, the same slightly glowing blue as the spikes in the beast’s back. The man grabbed hold of one horn to force its head forward, then stabbed the thing in its nape, right under the elongated back of its skull. Ah, so that was a weak spot. The thin spear went through the beast’s throat, and the thing died with a bloody rattle stuck in its throat. Good riddance.

Thor was back on his feet immediately to continue the battle. He needed to see to his friends. He was stunned for a second when he saw that all the beasts stopped their attack on them, and were now slowly circling the hooded man, who was still crouched on top of the one he’s just slain. His friends were all well, maybe injured, but definitely well enough to hold their weapons and stand on their own feet. That was a relief.

The hooded man looked around at them and yanked his spear out of the thing. It looked as if it was smoking slightly, but it was not burning, it was a faint trail of fog. The spikes in the dead beast’s back were similar, they did not glow any more, they looked like glass, or ice. The man in the hood straightened up, but did not step down from the body. He stood upon it like a victorious hunter as he gazed down at the creatures eyeing him.

‘Useless beasts,’ he declared angrily. He spat the words at them and his voice rang loud and clear in the room, despite the mask or cloth that hid his face.

And Thor... Thor must’ve hit his head. It must be a trick of the echo in the room, or it was the rumbling of the creatures around them, because that voice... he knew that voice. He...

‘The only terror shall be yours,’ the man finished, challenged them all. Thor couldn’t be mistaken. He could recognize this voice anywhere, any time, he could pick it out of a thousand others.

His mouth was already forming the word, the shout, the name, but the creatures attacked. They charged with their sharp claws and sharp teeth, snarling and growling. So Thor threw his hammer, and then himself into the fight without uttering a word.

But he knew... that was his brother’s voice.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of you guessed correctly, yes, here he is!
> 
> Translation (sort of, I’ll explain later if anyone’s curious):
> 
> Geh toltorg - You are creatures of the earth.  
> Micma, zirenaiad! - Behold, I am your god.  
> Christeos cnila, gohus! - Let there be blood, I say!


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha stayed back with Clint and Sam as the grey things attacked them from the shadows. Her mind was still on the mysterious voice talking in that unknown language. She felt like that was a priority right now. Whoever it was, it had to be connected to these creatures. She memorized the words, wanting to be able to recall them as accurately as possible to do some research on it later. She might not find anything, she might get some answers.

She would’ve been worried about Steve, maybe even Thor, not that long ago, but the tables have turned with the hooded man being there. The creatures seemed to be focused on him for one, and he seemed to know how to kill them efficiently.

Clint took notice of their apparent weak spot as well, he aimed at the back of their necks as much as possible. Most of his arrows didn’t do much damage, much like Natasha’s guns, but they seemed to bother the things enough to give great openings for Thor and the hooded man. Steve was much more involved in the fight, but even he kept his distance as much as he could, playing it smart. He was a lot more reckless a few minutes ago, when he was the only one on Thor’s side.

It became clear rather quickly that there were only four creatures left, and Natasha liked those odds. The more they killed from these things the less of a threat they seemed, because they learnt more and more about them. Natasha took note of everything that caught her attention, not just the weak spot on their necks. They were just as quick on two-legs than fours, used their claws when they could, but started biting when they became agitated. The tail could be used for attacking, but the horns were just decorations, and could be used against them to grab hold of their heads, if you had the strength for it. They couldn’t reach their own backs, so if you stabbed something there, close to the spine, it would stay there, they couldn’t get it out. Now if Natasha only knew what the hooded man’s spear was made of. She didn’t even waste a thought on the spikes, those were definitely firmly in “magic” territory, since they appeared out of nowhere. The spear though, that was definitely worth keeping an eye on.

Thor seemed more brutal in the fight than he was not that long ago. Natasha really wanted to know what ticked him off. It had to be the hooded man, but... well, she was going to refrain from assuming too much just yet.

They disposed of the things surprisingly quickly. And just as the last one hit the floor the hall was flooded with dim lights.

‘Oh, who found the light switch?’ she asked out loud.

Nobody answered. They watched as Thor marched over to the hooded man like a charging bull, and grabbed him by the throat before anyone could say a word. But then he just stood there for a few moments. The hooded man did nothing in return, the spear was still in his hand, and his grip on it was firm, but he did not raise it to attack.

Then the Winter Soldier dropped down from the ceiling. Sam startled, Clint raised his bow in reflex. Natasha stopped herself form aiming her gun at him, but it was a close thing. Steve was already turning to him, but he seemed torn. He obviously wanted to keep an eye on what Thor was doing too. Barnes wore his tactical googles, and Natasha would bet anything they gave him night vision. His face was most impassive, he gave nothing away.

Thor did not pay attention to Barnes though. His face turned determined as he finally moved again, dragging the hood, then the mask off of the man’s head. Then he let out an angry sound. Natasha knew before she caught a glimpse of the face. In a blink, Thor had the other pushed up to a wall so hard it cracked.

‘You cruel... lying... why would you do this?! Why would you do this?!’

The pain in Thor’s voice was tangible, raw, like the words cut him open as they came out of his mouth. Clint went rigid from head-to-toe, muscles tensing. Steve was still torn between paying attention to them and Barnes, who stood silently a bit further away. Sam seemed slightly confused about what was going on. She would have to brief him later.

Natasha took a few careful steps to the side to get a better look. The surprise was that the face was familiar, and yet very different. Steve was right, his eyes were red, completely, red with darker red irises. His skin was ashen, it had an unnatural faint grey hue to it, and there were lines or scars all over his face. They did not seem accidental. There were curved lines on his forehead, straight ones under his eyes, a few on his chin. Almost... tribal. She wasn’t sure what they reminded her of, but even from where she stood she noticed that they were slightly raised, like old knife wounds. Again, she did not want to jump into conclusions.

‘You made me think you died!’ Thor continued. ‘Right in front of me! Right in my arms! How could you...’ he fell silent, restraining himself. Natasha was sure he was not shouting more by sheer willpower. ‘Fool me,’ he said more quietly, but there was still rage and agony in his voice. Natasha wanted to put some bullets in Loki just out of sheer principal.

‘You made me mourn you, right along with Mother.’

‘Like you mourned me the last time?’ Loki asked. Thor slammed him back into the wall again.

‘Is that it? You enjoy making me suffer? You want to see me cry for you, blame myself for you?! You’d go to such lengths just to see me in pain?!’

‘Yes, of course, everything is about you,’ Loki shot back angrily. A dark blue colour seeped up into his face, spreading up till it almost reached his eyes. Thor yanked his hand back from his throat with a hiss of pain. He shook it like something burned him. ‘You think you know what you saw? Believe me, you’re wrong.’

The blue colour receded, Loki’s face went back to grey. Natasha was not sure how to file this piece of information away.

‘I know that it’s been years, and all this time I thought you dead!’ Thor yelled. ‘Instead... what is it that you are doing here? Why Hydra? What did you took from them? Who sent these beasts?’

‘Really? Those are your most burning questions?’ Loki asked him. Thor remained silent. Loki pushed himself away from the wall. ‘Why Loki, dear brother, you look exceptionally dashing today, have you done something with your hair?’ Loki mocked.

‘I know of your heritage. I do not know your plans,’ Thor stated firmly.

‘My plans--’ Loki said as he took another step away from Thor.

Which is when Clint let an arrow fly. Three things happened at once in reaction. Loki caught the arrow and immediately tossed it away, Barnes pulled his gun and aimed at Clint, and Natasha lifted her gun and aimed at Barnes in return.

Then there was a tense moment of silence.

‘Whoa, okay, everyone calm down,’ Steve told them very firmly. But Clint already had another arrow drawn, while Barnes kept aiming his gun at Clint. And until he put that down, Natasha was not going to lower her weapon either.

‘That was real dumb of you,’ Barnes said after a moment.

‘Yeah?’ Clint asked. ‘I think it was pretty smart. I think now we know exactly where we stand. I think it tells a lot that you wanna shoot me for this piece of shit.’

Barnes tilted his head slightly and made a face. Natasha could not see his eyes, but even so she knew exactly what he was going to say.

‘If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead,’ he said plainly. ‘And I’m aiming at your shoulder.’

Which was true, but the gun was still up in the air, that was telling.

‘Oh, how nice of you,’ Clint snarked at him. ‘That makes me feel much better about the gun you’re pointing at me.’

‘I don’t know who the fuck you are,’ Barnes said, his tone still neutral. ‘You keep shooting around like that, and I _will_ put a bullet in you.’ He was definitely dead serious about that. ‘You came here with Steve, that’s the only reason I’m not aiming at your head.’

‘Bucky,’ Steve said in a way Natasha wasn’t sure she could interpret completely. There was a warning in there, but also a bit of pleading.

‘I’m not concerned about Barton’s arrows,’ Loki said calmly.

‘You sure about that?’ Clint looked at him. ‘I’m sure I have something to blow your fucking face off with.’

He was really not helping the situation, but Natasha understood. Clint could be pretty dumb sometimes when it came to self-preservation. He was also known to make split-second decisions that bit him in the ass later. But this was Loki. This was different. Natasha couldn’t blame him.

Barnes seemed to ignore Clint’s comment and lowered his gun, but he did not put it away.

‘Clint, this is not the time,’ Steve said when Clint did not lower his bow.

‘So we’re just gonna stand around and chat with him? Really?’ Clint shook his head.

Even Natasha thought that was a good question.

‘Aren’t we supposed to try and... capture him?’ she asked. ‘Put him chains, then back to Asgard?’

For some reason that made Loki laugh. It was not a manic cackle, but an amused little sound.

‘You ain’t gonna do that with your bow, man,’ Sam said. He had a gun in his hand too, but he was pointing at the floor. And he was right, Clint couldn’t do much damage in Loki, but he would probably get shot if he did not put his weapon down. Clint seemed to have come to the same conclusion, because he lowered his bow.

‘Natasha,’ Steve said. She eyed Barnes for another moment then lowered her gun. That prompted Barnes to holster his own. Steve visibly relaxed a bit now that nobody was pointing weapons at anyone.

‘You do realize, that what Hydra did to you, and what this bastard did to me, is not all that different,’ Clint said then, staring at Barnes. ‘That’s the kind of guy you’re standing next to.’

‘Oh, please,’ Loki spoke before Barnes could react. ‘Don’t compare the two.’

So Loki knew about that, he had to be around for a while now then, or Barnes told him.

‘You played with my mind, made me kill, made me hurt people I never would have hurt,’ Clint said. His hand was incredibly tight around his bow, Natasha knew it took a lot of restrain to not aim an arrow at Loki’s head again.

Thor was quiet, he obviously thought Clint deserved to speak his mind.

‘I have not tortured you, mutilated you. I have not stolen your memories, the very person you are. I merely opened a door in your mind, and the Tesseract turned you into a different version of yourself.’

Loki moved as he spoke. He positioned himself right between Natasha and Barnes, obscuring her clear line of sight. That was surely deliberate.

‘Don’t compare a few days spent in my service to Hydra’s methods,’ Loki finished.

Natasha was just opening her mouth to tell the asshole what she thought of that, but Clint spoke first, so Natasha let him.

‘You could’ve done much worse to me, so I should be happy? I don’t care that Hydra’s worse, you piece of shit, it doesn’t make what you did to me _better_.’

‘Hmm well, you’re not wrong,’ Loki said after a moment, his voice was pleasant, almost conversational. Then he frowned a bit, seemingly thoughtful, like he never before looked at it this way.

‘But consider this,’ he said in the end. ‘I don’t care.’ And he smiled, sharp and dangerous. The red eyes, the strange skin colour, and the lines just made it look feral.

‘Can we muzzle him again?’ Clint asked with gritted teeth, looking over at Thor.

‘Oh yes, brother, your friends seem eager for your to beat me into submission, drag me back into Asgard in chains, like the animal I am.’

‘You had forced my hand, Loki,’ Thor was quick to answer. ‘You are not going to guilt me for the crimes you have committed.’

‘Am I forcing your hand right now?’ Loki asked. ‘You seemed very eager to lay violence upon me just now.’

He was getting into Thor’s head, or into his heart maybe, Natasha could already tell.

‘Maybe it’s the colours,’ Loki gestured at his face. ‘It makes it much easier, right?’

‘This is not about that!’ Thor protested. Natasha really should’ve asked more about Loki, but after the news of his death, she thought it would have been unnecessarily cruel to make Thor speak about him.

‘It was never about that,’ Thor added firmly. Loki’s whole demeanour went cold, that was the only word Natasha could use for it. His body went still, his face smoothed out into something hard as stone.

‘Not for you,’ Loki said. ‘But it is about that, and your so-called mourning. I always ask, whether you mourned, because it’s actually funny. It’s so really funny.’

He grinned, but it was a cold and empty grin.

‘Because if you’d come back to Svartalfheim, if you’d have bothered to maybe take my body back to Asgard for a proper funeral, instead of leaving it to rot in some Nornsforsaken wasteland, you would have known! You would have realized right away, that something was not right. That’s all it would have took!’

‘You are not going to turn this around on me!’ Thor yelled.

‘You didn’t bother,’ Loki said, like he didn’t even hear what Thor said. ‘For all your claims of grief, you didn’t think I deserved to be given even that much.’

‘You rage about a funeral you did not get, but you didn’t die!’ Thor shouted at him.

Loki looked at him for a moment.

‘Oh, how wrong you are,’ he said then.

‘What is that s--’

Loki turned his head suddenly, his eyes staring at nothing.

‘What?’ Thor demanded.

‘Shh,’ Loki put up a hand and seemed to be listening to something.

Natasha couldn’t hear anything, there was complete silence in the hall.

‘James,’ Loki spoke, his attention still far away. ‘Get the book... Now!’

Barnes turned and ran without a word.

‘Bucky!’ Steve shouted and took off after him.

The floor vibrated, that was the only reason Natasha didn’t run after him immediately. Then the room started to get brighter. There was a noise, and she recognized it after a moment. It was the same noise that woke her up in the hotel, the one that made their windows shake. She heard the sound of concrete cracking and when she turned her head she saw bright yellow light breaking through the floor. The light spread and started pulsating, it was so blinding Natasha had to cover her eyes,and turn her head away. She could still hear the concrete breaking. Then came the rumbling.

‘You have got to be kidding me,’ she said.

‘Run, my friends, follow the Captain,’ Thor spoke.

‘And leave you here alone with Loki?’ Sam asked incredulously, like Thor lost his mind.

‘My brother and I will have bigger things to worry about than one another,’ Thor said. ‘Your weapons cannot harm them. Go, quickly, before they get through.’

She hated this, she really hated this.

‘If he stabs you in the back, don’t say we didn’t warn you,’ Natasha told him.

Thor smiled at her.

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

‘Let’s go!’ she said and took off running, Sam and Clint followed her without further arguing. She dodged the glowing cracks on the floor, tried to avoid looking directly into the light and hoped, she really hoped Thor knew what the hell he was doing. It didn’t feel right leaving him behind, no matter how much sense it made. It just wasn’t right.

* * *

Natasha could swear she could still feel the floor shaking, even after they ran deeper into the mostly abandoned underground fort. They had no idea where Steve was. Natasha was going to put a tracker in his suit. Steve did not want to be traceable in any way since Project Insight, but if he insisted on running off after Barnes in unknown Hydra facilities without waiting for any of them, he would just have to deal. He was already lucky Natasha did not consider kicking out a tooth and replacing that with a tracker.

She was supportive of him in all this, she was, but Barnes pointed a gun at Clint today, for Loki. That changed things, that changed things a lot. Steve was going to have to admit that as well. They did not know how these monstrous things and Hydra fit together with Loki, but Barnes was obviously right in the middle of it. It remained to be seen how willing he was.

They were running for a while, down an old nondescript corridor, when the familiar rumbling grew louder. They abruptly stopped, it did not come from behind them, but from in front of them.

‘Chances of the three of us being able to take down one of these things?’ Sam asked.

‘I’ve got a few hard-hitting explosive arrows,’ Clint said. ‘If I can shoot them in the back of their neck, it might even work.’

Natasha turned around to look at him.

‘Is it going to bring the roof down on us?’ she asked.

‘No,’ Clint shrugged. Natasha narrowed her eyes. He signed “Trust me”.

‘Also, got any better ideas?’ Clint asked out loud. Unfortunately, she did not. She took the lead and they moved forward, more carefully this time.

Of course as soon as they heard the rumbling turn into snarls they picked up their pace. A grey beast broke through the wall where the noise was the loudest. It was soon back on its feet, shaking plaster and dust off its body. There were all kinds of lights coming from the hole it made in the wall, but of course it turned its head to look at them.

‘Черт.’ Natasha cursed.

‘So how are you going to get to its nape?’ Sam asked.

‘Sheer dumb luck?’ Clint proposed.

‘How are you still alive?’ Sam wondered.

The thing approached slowly, and Natasha couldn’t help but think that it was assessing their threat level. Despite how animalistic they acted, there was more intelligence lurking behind those red eyes than one could expect.

Natasha could hear the sound of a fight from the other room, mostly just the rumbling and snarling sound of the beasts. She really hoped Steve was not in there.

The creature charged and Natasha heard the metallic hum of Mjölnir. So she ducked, just to be sure, grabbed Clint’s arm too to pull him down a bit. Sure enough, the hammer whooshed by above them, smashing into the thing’s head. It stumbled, then the hammer smashed into the back of its head when it flew back. Thor grabbed it somewhere behind them, then he charged forward to finish the thing off.

‘You said, you’d stay behind!’ It was not an accusation, but she needed him to tell her what changed.

‘Loki’s gone,’ Thor said as he got off the beast. ‘And so are the things that attacked us there. They scrambled back into their portals.’

Thor didn’t even bother trying to get the blood off his hammer, or his face, he looked like a mess. He went for the hole in the wall, so the rest of them followed. There was still a few of the things inside, but they did not seem to want to attack them any more. There were more of the yellow glowing cracks on the floor and the things were jumping right into them, getting sucked into it. The last one of the things eyed them for a long moment, it rumbled deep in its chest, but followed the rest. When it was gone, the cracks stopped glowing.

‘Where’s Cap?’ Sam asked.

The ventured deeper into the room. Natasha first noticed the open safe door, not torn open this time, but some small explosives were definitely used. There were a few dead beasts lying around in pools of their own blood, and of course there were the cracks on the floor. Then she noticed the one that was slightly different, on the wall. The same sort they saw in Nis. Loki.

Then she saw Steve’s shield, half-covered in the dark blood of the creatures, just lying on the floor, abandoned. Sam was already picking it up, looking around the room. But there was no sign of Steve himself.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worry not, the next chapter will be mostly just Steve and Bucky.
> 
> Also, I post updates and writer's notes about the fic and when I will post [on my tumblr](https://www.scyllaya.tumblr.com/). Follow me, if you'd like.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve followed Bucky without a second of hesitation. He followed him out of the giant room, and down the corridors, because he was not going to lose him again. Especially not now that he knew that Loki was the hooded man. Bucky was in deep trouble, being in the company of someone like that. Hydra he was not worried about. They were people, normal humans for the most part, he knew how to fight against them. He would’ve understood if Bucky’s reason for going up against Hydra was vengeance. But clearly this was not the case. His friend got himself in a lot bigger mess than that.

Bucky knew where he was going, so he must’ve memorised the building’s layout. They reached a small, mostly empty room rather quickly. There were a few wooden desks shoved up to a wall and old metal filing-cabinets. And one closed safe in the wall. Bucky went for that.

‘They just left that here?’ Steve questioned. ‘Was this a trap?’

Bucky was pulling things out of his belt and putting it on the safe.

‘They were afraid to take it out,’ Bucky said quietly.

Steve had about a million questions immediately, but the distant rumbling of the beasts grew closer and the floor started vibrating under his feet. Steve crossed the room to stand by Bucky’s side.

‘We need to get out of here,’ he said as he watched how cracks appeared on the floor.

‘Not leaving this here,’ Bucky said, his fingers moving quickly. Steve only paid little attention to what he was doing exactly.

Yellow light started pouring out of the cracks, pulsating so brightly Steve had to turn away.

‘They’re coming, we need to get out of here!’ Steve insisted.

‘No, they’re not gonna get it!’ Bucky told him angrily and kept focusing on the safe.

Steve wanted to ask who he was talking about, but the rumbling was getting pretty loud. He turned back towards the cracks and gripped his shield tightly. The grey monsters started to appear, they climbed out of too thin cracks, their red eyes immediately focused on Steve and Bucky.

‘Bucky, I don’t think I can fight them off,’ Steve said.

‘I’m almost done,’ Bucky said.

‘And then what?’ Steve asked. One of the creatures approached, but the rest of them were still just slowly inching forward. Steve just knew they would all jump them soon enough.

One of them charged from his right. Steve slammed his shield in its head and tried to dodge the claws without leaving Bucky’s back unprotected. They were so done for. The force of the attacks made it hard for Steve to stay in one spot, he was getting pushed back, away from Bucky. Just as he was about to stumble back, Bucky turned and shot the thing in the eye with his SIG. The creature roared back a bit. Steve managed to regain his balance, while Bucky turned back to the safe.

But more things were coming, not just the three already eyeing them, more were crawling out of the cracks, and there was literally nowhere to go from this place.

One of the things body-slammed him and he hit the floor even though he expected the attack. He held up his shield, but he could feel his arms straining from the weight. No wonder, even Thor struggled with them. Steve knew he wouldn’t be able to fight back for long. Some of the weight disappeared when a metal hand smashed into the thing’s neck. Then Bucky wrapped the same hand around a horn and yanked on the creature’s big head. The thing immediately focused its attention on Bucky, so Steve smashed its head with his shield again, then kicked it in the chin as hard as he could. Then he quickly got out from under it.

Bucky let go of the thing and backed off immediately. Steve noticed that he managed to get the safe open by now. Bucky reached inside and took something rectangular wrapped in a dark cloth out of it. A book. Loki said “book”.

‘Okay, and now what?’ Steve asked as he looked at the things. They were growling more vehemently now. They were seizing them up, that’s why only one attacked at a time, they were testing the waters, but he just knew all of them were about to charge at them.

‘Loki!’ Bucky yelled.

Steve was confused for one second, then Loki appeared out of nowhere. He literally materialized out of a dark swarm of... something. What the hell?

He didn’t have time to stare at Loki though, because one of the things decided to try and have a go at him again. So Steve had to dodge and step aside. He tried his best to avoid being shredded to pieces. He kept using his shield to hit the thing, but it really wasn’t doing much damage. It cut them all right, and they bled, but they did not slow down even a bit. Then the thing bit down on his shield and yanked it out of his hand, almost dislocating his elbow and wrist. Steve had to let go of it, unless he wanted to be dragged around like a chew toy.

He didn’t see what Loki did behind him, but he felt when Bucky’s metal fingers wrapped around his forearm. Bucky was dragging him back. He let himself be pulled, and suddenly the room and the beasts were gone. Steve only saw darkness, he felt almost dizzy, disoriented. Bucky’s hand was the only solid thing he could focus on. He lost his balance and he hit a cold stone floor. Bucky didn’t let go of him.

‘What in the name of sanity is this?’ asked Loki, he did not sound really pleased.

‘They would’ve ripped him apart!’ Bucky said. ‘I wasn’t gonna let that happen.’

Loki made an incredulous sound. Steve was glad though, hearing those words. Up until this point Bucky’s been hard to read, he kept his distance, hid his emotions. This though, this was very encouraging. Steve got to his feet and Bucky let go of him.

Loki had his arms crossed over his chest, his spear nowhere to be seen, and he was scowling at the two of them. He didn’t start arguing about it though, he huffed and visibly gave up without a fight.

‘If he catches someone’s attention, it’s not going to be on my head,’ Loki said firmly.

‘Noted,’ Bucky replied and handed the wrapped up book over to Loki.

Loki just shook his head and took it, then turned to leave. Leave... Steve looked around and just... he had no words. They were literally floating on a small piece of rectangle stone, floating in nothing. There was nothing, just darkness, the same abyss Steve caught a glance of in the portal Loki opened. This time he couldn’t even see weirdly shaped colourful clouds, no sluggish movements in the distance. They were literally surrounded by nothing. It was unnaturally quiet too. Their voices did not echo either, the darkness swallowed their every word.

Steve took a moment to just focus on his breathing and digest what he was seeing.

Loki walked to the edge of the platform they were standing on. For a moment Steve expected him to just drop off, or fly away, or whatever, but stone stairs appeared out of nowhere right beneath him, building up under his feet. Steve followed him with his eyes, but soon it was too dark to see where he went. The stairs remained though.

‘Ignore him,’ Bucky said. ‘He’s a drama queen.’

Steve turned to his friend just as Bucky walked to the edge of the platform. Steve was slightly less surprised when the stairs appeared this time. These stairs led somewhere down.

‘I didn’t kidnap you,’ Bucky said, turning slightly back. ‘We gotta wait until Loki can open a new door though.’

Bucky started walking down and Steve figured it was safe enough to follow. He still kept looking around though, trying to catch anything in the distance beside endless darkness, but there was nothing.

‘There’s not always anything to see,’ Bucky said. He didn’t turn around, but he obviously knew what Steve was looking for, maybe from experience. ‘It’s always different. Sometimes there’s stars, whole galaxies if you can believe that... sometimes there’s fog... it rained once, there were no clouds though. Now that was strange.’

At the bottom of the stairs was a single wooden door. No walls, no nothing, just a door. But when Bucky opened it there was a room behind.

‘This is hurting my brain,’ Steve admitted.

Bucky actually chuckled quietly as he walked inside. The room really looked normal. There was a desk, it had some dossiers on it, some scrap-metal and tiny bits and pieces of electronics, a few explosives, an empty mug. There was a table right across from it, covered with disassembled guns and rifles, ammunition boxes down on the floor next to it, a few knives and other blades on the wall above it. There was one giant wardrobe, firmly shut. A bookcase, filled with books of all shapes and sizes, but they were too far away to read the spines. A wooden chest, containing who knows what. A single bed in a corner, neatly made. And a door next to the wardrobe that probably led to another room... bathroom? Maybe. Except for the mug on the desk, there were no personal items in the room, or Steve just wasn’t looking hard enough. There was a window too, which ruined the illusion of normality. Because everything looked normal (even the guns and the explosives), except for the gaping void outside of the window.

‘Where are we?’ he asked. It felt like a safe question to start with.

Bucky walked over to the desk and started putting down the guns and knives he had on his person. Quick and efficient, he finally took his tactical goggles off too.

‘It’s like... a space between two different places,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how to explain it good, this is Loki’s thing. And I really try not to ask too much about it, guy loves the sound of his own voice as it is.’

‘Places?’

‘Dimensions.’

‘Right... you gotta tell me what’s going on here, Bucky. With Loki and Hydra and those... things.’

‘N’Garai,’ Bucky said.

‘What?’

‘The things, they’re N’Garai. Demons.’

‘Demons?’ Steve asked. ‘You’re... _how_?’

‘Not the Bible-kind,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘I don’t think so. But Hell if I know what the Bible-kind is supposed to be like.’

Demons, okay, that was new, but he could deal with it. He just had to accept it and keep going. There were aliens, and there were demons, that’s just how the world worked. Moving on.

‘Are they after you?’ Steve asked.

‘Yep,’ Bucky said almost angrily as he tossed his last gun down on the desk.

‘Because of what you’re doing with Loki,’ Steve guessed.

‘Because they’re evil sons of bitches.’

Next Bucky was removing his kevlar and the rest of his gear.

‘What exactly are you doing with Loki?’ Steve asked, hoping to get an answer. Bucky just kept removing his gear for a few moments.

‘Your friends probably think you’re dead or something. You can reassure them when you get back,’ Bucky said then, totally avoiding the question. Steve was not going to let this go, not this time. They obviously had some time to kill.

‘How did you get involved in all this?’ Bucky was silent. ‘Just... tell me something, okay? Anything. I’m real worried here.’

‘Don’t be,’ Bucky said. ‘M’fine.’

‘It doesn’t look like it,’ Steve protested. ‘You’re raiding Hydra bases _with Loki_ , to collect who knows what, while being chased _by demons_! Why?’

Bucky stubbornly looked away, avoiding Steve’s gaze as much as possible. Steve squared his jaw and took a deep breath, he was getting angry dammit.

‘Buck, you told me you remembered,’ he said, keeping his voice down. ‘But you still won’t tell me anything! What am I supposed to think of all this?’

‘I ain’t gonna drag you into this more than I already have,’ Bucky said then. Finally that bland neutral tone was gone. Finally Steve could detect real emotions behind the words.

‘I am going to get more involved,’ Steve said. ‘If you remember, then you know it. If you won’t tell me, I will find another way.’

Bucky sighed and rubbed his face, then tucked his hair behind his ear. It was such a familiar gesture that Steve’s heart ached. Bucky could say anything, but seeing his old mannerisms, even if subdued, was a better proof than anything he could’ve said. Steve actually felt like his best friend was standing in front of him, not just a dangerous man wearing his face.

‘I’ve been...’ but he seemed to reconsider his words as soon as they were out of his mouth. It bothered Steve, more than it probably should have. There were bigger things to be worried about, but Bucky’s hesitancy to just talk to him was the worst right now. ‘I made a deal.’

‘A deal,’ Steve repeated. It already did not sound good.

‘And until I’m done with my end, I’m gonna keep doing this,’ he finished.

‘What’s the deal?’

‘It doesn’t matter, I made it... willingly. Out of my own damn free will and all. So I’m gonna stick with it.’

Steve took another deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

‘And you think Loki’s gonna stick with it too?’ he asked then. ‘Because you might not know this, but he’s a liar. You can’t trust him. He’s going to stab you in the back.’

‘I didn’t make a deal with Loki,’ Bucky told him, and that stopped Steve’s rant right away.

‘Then with whom?’ Steve asked. Bucky just looked at him evenly, so clearly he was not going to answer that question. ‘Then what is Loki doing here?’

Bucky shrugged. ‘You gotta ask him about that,’ he said. ‘But if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t pick him. He probably didn’t pick me either.’

‘That doesn’t make me feel that much better,’ Steve admitted. He hated having to pry information out of Bucky like this, not having him offer anything himself.

‘Look, don’t worry about it. I can do this,’ Bucky said as he turned away from him, going back to removing his gear.

‘Oh, I’m not worried about whether you can. I’m worried about whether you should.’

Bucky nodded a few times, then dropped the kevlar vest and the leather jacket down onto his bed. The undershirt made it possible for Steve to finally see the metal arm completely, where it ended. There had to be metal underneath Bucky’s skin too, maybe the collarbone, or the shoulder blade too on that side. He saw some of the scars, but then he forced himself not to stare.

‘I’m guessing trust is a bit too much to ask for right now,’ Bucky said quietly.

And what was Steve supposed to say to that? He knew what he wanted to say, because this was Bucky for God’s sake. But then of course there was Loki, somewhere above them in this strange space between dimensions. And there were all his unanswered questions. He ended up helplessly staring at Bucky for a few moments, because he seriously did not know what his friend expected of him.

Bucky nodded again, then walked over to the door next to the wardrobe, and pushed it open. It really was a bathroom. Bucky even flicked the lights on.

‘Clean up, if you want,’ he said, then headed towards the entrance. ‘I’m gonna get some food.’

Then he shut the door behind himself firmly before Steve could say a word.

* * *

Even before Bucky returned, Steve realized that he had gone about things completely wrong. They never used to talk to each other like this, one-sidedly demanding answers, just hurling out questions after questions. That was not talking, it was an interrogation. Too many things changed, and not just around them, but within them too. Yet Steve still hoped that there was enough left for them to be able to just talk. Just talk, he would’ve been happy with just that, he really did not have high expectations here. He just wanted to talk to his friend, have him talk to him in return. It couldn’t have been too much to ask for, right?

So he went over to the bathroom, took off his mask and gloves, washed his face and his hands. He ran his wet fingers through his hair to get the dust and blood out of it. He didn’t want to take his whole uniform off, but he did remove his belt and the leather straps from around his shoulders. For the lack of better space to put it, he dropped them down onto the bed next to Bucky’s gear. Then he sat down and waited.

When Bucky returned he was carrying a tray in one hand and two bottles of water in the other. He shoved his leather jacket and kevlar vest aside, and put the tray down on the bed next to Steve, then sat down on the other side of it. He handed one of the water bottles over to him.

‘Where do you even get all this?’ Steve asked as he opened the bottle.

‘Oh, you don’t wanna know,’ Bucky said. Fair enough, he probably did not, not really. There were a lot of sandwiches on the tray, and fruit, a few power bars. Not much, but enough. He could practically picture Natasha’s disapproving stare as he took a sandwich. Sue him, he didn’t actually think Bucky was gonna poison him. And he was actually hungry, the last time he ate was the day before, a few hours before he went to bed.

Bucky started eating too, so they just sat there in silence for a while. Steve actually felt his muscles relax finally. The adrenaline from the fight clearing out from his system.

‘So, how are you?’ he asked quietly after a while. He grabbed an apple from the tray as he waited for the answer. He silently prayed Bucky won’t just tell him he was “fine” again.

‘Better,’ Bucky said in the end.

‘Good, that’s good,’ Steve nodded.

‘It could be worse, I mean,’ Bucky said.

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed, just rolling the apple around between his palms. ‘I was getting better for a while,’ he said then. ‘But it’s like a roller-coaster. I keep plummeting back down.’

He saw from the corner of his eye that Bucky turned a little towards him, but Steve kept his eyes on the apple in his hands.

‘Nightmares, y’know,’ he continued. ‘About the ice... the train... once I dreamt I was still this sickly little kid when the aliens started pouring out of the sky above Brooklyn.’ He paused, pushing the memory away. ‘I had to change my alarm clock... and my microwave, cause at night those red lights reminded me of Ultron’s eyes. Stupid things like that.’

Stupid things, that’s what they were, that’s why he hated how they affected him.

‘Running helps sometimes, to shake them off. Sam comes with me when he can. It tires me out a bit, then I just stop thinking... but sometimes it just numbs me down... and I avoid punching bags now, cause I get real angry when I hit something... I don’t know. So yeah... I guess it could be worse, is what I mean... Could be better too though.’

Bucky was silent, but he was still looking at Steve.

‘I’ve got my memories blocked,’ he said then.

‘What?’ Steve turned to look at him.

‘It’s how I’m fine, the worst of it is locked away. So it can’t bother me, not in dreams or when I’m awake.’

‘But you said you remembered,’ Steve said.

‘I do, a lot of things. I’m just getting things back bit by bit, when I want to get them back. I don’t get overwhelmed like this. And smells and places can’t trigger bad memories.’

‘You let someone in your head?’ Steve asked, horrified. After everything that happened, Bucky actually let someone mess with his head again.

‘Well, it’s not like it could’ve gotten worse,’ Bucky said. ‘So that’s what I’m getting out of this. All this shit in my head is easier to swallow in small bites. So when I’m feelin’ okay, I get some of it back, and then I deal with it.’

‘So how much do you actually remember?’ Steve asked.

‘I remember you, that’s what I started out with,’ Bucky said. ‘I remember Becca now. Brooklyn, but not all of it. I try not to get all the good ones back at once, cause then there’s only gonna be the bad ones left to look forward to.’

‘You didn’t need to do this,’ Steve said. He finally put the apple down. ‘This deal. There are other ways.’

‘I was in a real bad place, Steve,’ Bucky said. ‘I was just functioning. I knew how to stay out of sight, how to feed and dress myself. I could take care of myself. I even got some fake IDs... left the US too, under the radar. But it was bad, when things were coming back, it was real bad.’

‘That’s why I was looking for you!’ Steve exploded, he had to stand up.‘I wanted to help you. I still do!’

Bucky was shaking his head.

‘No, no way I was gonna do that,’ he said. ‘Make you my keeper for the rest of our lives. Make you care for a violent mess day and night, every single day... I couldn’t do that... I couldn’t do that to you.’

‘I wouldn’t have cared!’ Steve said as he stood in front of Bucky. Then he lowered himself to a knee to be on the same eye-level. ‘It’s you, Buck, I just wanted you back. I wouldn’t have cared how bad things were.’

Bucky looked up at him. ‘I would’ve.’

They stared at each other for a few moments, then Bucky looked away.

‘And don’t go looking so guilty, dammit. It’s not about you... not... I didn’t just do it for you, all righ’? It’s for myself. I couldn’t stand the thought of being that broken thing around you.’

‘You weren’t broken, Bucky,’ Steve protested quietly.

‘Shattered... to pieces, trust me on that,’ Bucky said, then he stood up. Steve straightened up too and watched him walk towards the bathroom. ‘I’m gonna take a shower, then I think we should sleep. I’m tired as hell.’

Steve considered pushing the issue some more, but he couldn’t bring himself to.

‘Got any couch cushions for me to sleep on?’ he asked, tried to smile too, but he didn’t know how successful he was.

‘Got enough beds,’ Bucky said as he walked into the bath.

‘There’s only one--’ Steve started to say, he even turned around to gesture at the single, quite narrow bed in the corner, only to find two beds instead of one. The tray and the rest of the food was gone, and there was a second bed across from the first in the other corner. His mask, gloves and belts were on the top of the covers.

‘There are two beds,’ he said out loud to work through some of the weirdness of it.

‘There are now,’ Bucky confirmed.

‘Still hurting my brain.’

* * *

 


	9. Chapter 9

‘Steve... wake up.’

For a moment Steve did not remember where he was. Or rather, he thought he was somewhere else. In a different place... and a different time, because Bucky’s voice was so familiar. The way he said his name. How he kept his voice down without actually whispering, spoke just loud enough to wake him up, because he knew exactly how loud he had to speak for Steve to hear him even in his sleep.

But then he opened his eyes and reality came rushing back to him. He blinked up at Bucky in silence. It was still good, being woken up by his best friend. His hair, his metal arm, the unusual room, it really didn’t matter. He already knew, even at the start of his search, that he wouldn’t care that Bucky was a different man. He didn’t care if he never remembered. Bucky was still Bucky, memories or no memories. Looking up at him now, his conviction strengthened. He really did not care even a little bit, because Bucky was alive.

‘Come on, you gotta see this,’ Bucky said, so Steve got up. He didn’t sleep much. Even when Bucky very pointedly went to bed and turned his back to him, Steve just laid awake in the other bed... thinking. Trying to figure things out. Because he had a hell of a lot to think about. Well, and there was also the fact that Loki was way too close to his liking. Sleep did claim him after long hours of listening to Bucky’s even breathing that came from across the room. Gave him a (false) sense of security. Right now though, he felt it in his bones that it was just a brief and restless slumber.

Bucky walked to the window and waved his hand to urge Steve closer. Steve already saw that the endless blackness from before was gone. It was replaced by orange and blue light that filled the room with colour. Steve rubbed his eyes and walked up to Bucky.

The sight kind of stole his breath away. It was space, but he saw no sun or planets. There were stars, too many to count. It was nothing like the night sky Steve knew and not just because he could never see this many stars in cities like New York or Washington. It was the colours, the blue and the orange, it came from what looked like two enormous clouds, meeting and intervening. It was enormous, motionless, and rather awe-inspiring.

‘Is that... a nebula?’

He looked at a lot of pictures taken by space telescopes when he did his research on modern science. Especially after the whole... alien invasion thing. So he was rather sure of what he was looking at.

‘Yeah,’ Bucky nodded. ‘I like it a lot better... than the darkness. It’s rare that you can see something like this from here.’

‘Is this real?’

Bucky hummed in confirmation. ‘We... get close to different corners of reality sometimes, things just filter through. You can catch glimpses.’

‘Wow,’ Steve couldn’t help but say. Nothing in his life was anywhere near close to what he expected when he was younger. His whole life was beyond unbelievable, to be frank. He saw many horrible and amazing things far too unreal for even his wildest dreams. But a sight like this could still shock him in the most positive way. He knew he would remember seeing this with his own eyes for as long as he lived. Especially with Bucky standing right next to him, staring at the very same sight.

* * *

Bucky brought them some food again and they ate silently for a while. Steve got dressed, put his uniform back on, while Bucky was gone, but his friend was still dressed a lot more comfortably. It was a good reminder that Bucky did not feel threatened or cautious in his presence. He was still a lot more quiet than he used to be, but Steve did not mind. The silence was amicable, pleasant even. Not at all like Steve would’ve expected silence between the two of them to be like, back when he was still on the search. Definitely one of the pleasant ones among all the recent surprises concerning Bucky.

After a while though Steve was itching to speak. He felt like it was the right moment to bring up some of their unfinished business again.

‘I can help you,’ Steve said. ‘To get you out of this deal.’

‘I don’t wanna get out of it,’ Bucky replied.

‘If you’d just tell me what you’re doing... or for whom.’

‘No,’ Bucky said, very firmly.

‘I want to trust you... that you’re not doing anything bad. Or even that you think what you’re doing is... acceptable, but...’

‘But you can’t,’ Bucky finished instead of him.

‘I need more than what you’ve told me. I’m... can you even promise me that this is not hurting anyone, or not going to?’

Bucky stood up and picked up the tray he brought the food in with. He started walking out of the room. Steve followed, even when Bucky opened the entrance and headed up the stairs. This conversation was so not over.

‘Bucky.’

‘No, I can’t promise nobody is going to get hurt...’ Bucky said. ‘But I ain’t going to start putting bullets into random folks. That good enough?’

‘You almost shot Clint yesterday,’ Steve said. Well, he thought it was yesterday, he didn’t actually know how much he slept, this might be still the same day.

‘The archer? C’mon, you know what I mean. Civilians... innocents, call them whatever you want ‘em.’

‘Yeah, but Loki being involved does not invoke a whole lot of confidence in me, Buck.’

‘People who ain’t in danger from me, don’t need to be worried about him either.’

‘What does that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing.’

Steve took two long steps when they reached the top of the stairs to get in front of Bucky.

‘Answer at least some of my damn questions, okay? Please.’

‘I told you way more than I wanted to already,’ Bucky said. He looked away, maybe stared at the stars, the nebula, but he avoided Steve’s gaze.

‘Fine, you’re saying you’re not hurting people with what you’re doing,’ Steve started after a big pause. Bucky turned his head back and looked at him with slight suspicion. ‘Then I’ll help you.’

‘No.’

‘Your deal would be done sooner. And if I’m here, I can see for myself what’s going on, and I can watch your back.’

‘No,’ Bucky repeated.

‘Why not? What does it matter if I know more, if I’m staying?’

‘It matters, this... this doesn’t work like this. You... no!’

‘Bucky...’

‘You just want information anyway,’ Bucky said, dropping the plate angrily. It bounced once on the stone floor with a loud clatter, then it dropped down and vanished into nothing. ‘You just wanna make sure I ain’t some murderous psycho any more.’

He started to sound real angry, so Steve tried to keep his own anger under wraps. Bucky knew him better than this, so Steve could only hope he remembered him better than this too.

‘I want to help you,’ Steve told him with absolute conviction. ‘And if I can’t drag you out of this, then I want to be on your six... to protect you.’

‘I already got someone protecting me.’

Steve was stunned into silence for a few heartbeats.

‘What? Loki? That’s the guy you trust at your back? Really?’

‘Steve--’

‘No, just really think about what you just said. You gotta know what sort of a man he is, you just gotta know that.’

Bucky frowned as he looked back at him, but not angrily. The expression on his face was more thoughtful, considering. Like he had to think about Steve’s words and make sure he understood them right.

‘But you don’t,’ he said.

And that... that left Steve speechless for a long moment. This was not even about Loki. He was not the one they should be arguing about. A lot more was at stake here.

‘You gotta let me help you, Buck,’ he said in the end. He might’ve sounded a little helpless, but he couldn’t help it. He just... Sam teased him about being able to give speeches from the top of his head, but right now he did not know what he could possibly say to convince his best friend. Bucky used to listen to him, even before the serum... things changed so much, but he should be allowed to watch out for Bucky. This one thing he should be always allowed to do.

He felt first a flesh hand, then a metal one settle on his shoulders. After a moment of hesitation both moved, closer to his neck. Steve realized he was staring at the floor, so he looked up. Then he had to blink a few times to focus, because Bucky was suddenly very close. But Steve did not tense up, he didn’t snap into a defensive position. His body remained as relaxed as it was a moment before. His non-reaction must’ve meant something good to Bucky, because there was a small smile on his face for a bit. Still, there was again a moment of hesitation before Bucky pressed their foreheads together.

‘Listen to me, okay?’ Bucky spoke, lot more quietly than before. ‘I know you wanna help me, but you can’t always swoop in and fix things.’

‘You never let me, dammit,’ Steve said, because wasn’t that the truth? It’s not like Steve could be of much of anything but a burden before the serum, he was the sickly one, he was the one getting into fist-fights Bucky needed to finish. And now, the one time Bucky could really need him, he wouldn’t let him help.

‘I let you plenty. You were Captain America and you had the bulletproof shield.’

‘Not when it matters,’ Steve said stubbornly, because when Bucky really needed him... the times Steve really needed to step up... those were the times he always failed. He failed at the train, and he failed after, when he did not search for him. Hell, even when he was ready to lay down his life again, Bucky had to fish him out of the Potomac.

‘It matters if you trust me that I know what I need to do,’ Bucky said, his fingers tightening. ‘And accept that I can’t just drag you into this.’

‘I’d rather you did,’ Steve said. He was not going to accept this... not this. End of the line, dammit. If Bucky refused to pull him along, then Steve would go after him on his own.

Bucky leaned a bit forward, pressing his forehead more strongly to Steve’s.

‘Don’t think I wouldn’t rather have you here,’ he said.

Steve took a breath and yeah... he believed that. He definitely believed that. So he nodded, wanting Bucky to know that he understood, even if he did not agree with the rest of it.

‘I’ll be seeing you,’ Bucky said then.

‘What?’ Steve frowned in confusion, but then Bucky pushed at him. Shoved... more likely, and Steve did not expect it, so he did not brace himself for it. He fell backwards from the force of it. For a moment he thought he was about to fall out into space... or into an endless dark void, but his back hit dirt and wet grass. When he looked up he saw the door, the portal, still open. Bucky was on the other side and... so was Loki, standing behind Steve’s friend. Then the door closed, leaving deep dark cracks in the side of some small abandoned house.

Steve slumped back on the grass and just stared up at the darkening sky for a bit.

* * *

It was true that he could’ve been dropped back to reality basically anywhere, so the fact that he was just at the outskirts of Poznań should have been a relief. But Steve still did not enjoy walking back to the hotel. People stared of course when he reached the city, some people probably recognized him, or maybe he was just some random crazy man in a ridiculous blue overall. He left his mask, his gloves, his belt, and his shoulder straps on the bed he slept on, but he had the rest of his uniform on at least. He assumed it was pretty late by the time he got back, because there weren’t that many people out on the streets. So yes, he was a little... miffed by the time he finally caught sight of the hotel building. He just wanted to take a shower and sleep a few more hours.

He got in the elevator after he found only a sleeping old man at the hotel reception. He really hoped the rest of the team was back already, because he didn’t have a key card for the room he shared with Sam. He knocked on the door a few times, but it was soon pretty clear that nobody was going to answer. He walked to Thor’s door next to try his luck, but he didn’t get an answer there either. With a sigh he walked to the end of the corridor to knock on Clint and Natasha’s door. Finally he heard some movement on the other side in reaction.

Only, it was an old Middle-Eastern woman who opened the door, staring at him with widened eyes.

‘Uhm... I’m sorry, I think I have the wrong door,’ he said and turned away. He knew he didn’t have the wrong door, but that was the first thing that came to his mind. He took the elevator again and went back down to the lobby. He didn’t even have his cellphone on him, so he went to the public phone next to the reception. Thankfully, he did not need to put money in it. Seriously, he didn’t even have money on him.

He wanted to call Natasha first, but he realized that he couldn’t recall whether the number in his head was her last number or the current one. She changed phones like every two weeks. So he dialled Sam instead. That was always a safe bet.

The phone rang for a while, but before Steve could hang up, Sam picked up.

‘Yeah?’ he asked.

‘Where are you guys?’ Steve said without even saying hello. He was not in the most cheerful of moods.

Sam inhaled loudly and stayed silent for a second. ‘Holy shit, Steve!’

He said that so loudly that Steve had to pull the receiver away from his ear. Steve knew that he was gone for a few hours, but he didn’t expect such a loud reaction. Sam must’ve been pretty worried. Before Steve could get a word out Sam started questioning him in rapid-fire succession.

‘Are you okay? What happened? Where are you? Do you need help?’

‘I’m fine, Sam,’ Steve reassured him, cutting off the questions. ‘But where the hell are you all?’ he asked in return. ‘Did something happen? You could’ve at least left me a note if you needed to leave.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Sam asked. ‘Where are you?’

‘At the hotel. You guys all checked out.’

There was a few moments of silence on the other end of the line.

‘Hotel... in Poznań?’ Sam asked. Steve was getting frustrated again.

‘Where else?’ he asked. ‘Seriously, why did you guys check out of the hotel?’

‘Steve...’ Sam’s voice was very careful and it immediately made Steve tense up, because that was Sam’s “bad news” voice, he recognized it right away. He felt his jaw clench and he forced his fingers to stay relaxed, he didn’t want to break the phone. Did the N’Garai attack the rest of the team? Was someone seriously injured... or worse? Dammit! He should’ve thought about this more. Loki left, so Thor was left alone to deal with the things. He was immediately so preoccupied with Bucky and everything he learnt, that he didn’t think about how his friends managed to get out of the Hydra base.

‘What happened?’ he asked again. He needed answers, not the worst-case scenarios his mind was coming up with. He would deal with his guilt after he knew what went wrong while he was away. ‘Sam, what happened?’

‘Steve... you’ve been missing for three weeks.’

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

First there was the search for Steve. She used “search” as a gross exaggeration, since there was nowhere to look. Steve vanished into thin air, so there were really only two possibilities. Either he went through Loki’s portal with Barnes (whether he went willingly or not mattered very little), or he’d been dragged through one of the golden portals by the creatures. They all obviously hoped for the former, although that option didn’t give them much to be happy about either.

Loki was just one of the reasons. Sure, Sam kept repeating that Barnes remembered Steve, but Natasha wasn’t about to trust one of the most dangerous men on the world just cause he claimed to have regained some of his memories from the early 20th century. And he was working with Loki.

Natasha was absolutely certain Thor had not lied to them. He was a lot better at both subterfuge and deception than most people gave him credit for, but Natasha doubted he could’ve faked so much grief and raw pain. He did not know his brother was alive, Loki was just that good when it came to lies. Magic probably made things easier on that front.

They stayed in Poland for a few days, but they all knew there was no point. If Loki and Barnes could raid five Hydra facilities around the world under twenty-four hours, they could pop up with that portal wherever they liked. There was no way to tell where they would show up next, since the Hydra base in Poznań was their last and only lead. They didn’t even know whether they would go after Hydra again, or if they were done with them. It was frustrating beyond words how one-sided this conflict was. Barnes and Loki knew the board and the pieces, while the rest of them didn’t even know which game they were playing.

All in all, it was a unpleasant three weeks for everyone. And now Steve was back. Right as rain, not a scratch on him. He lost some parts of his uniform, but that was about it. Natasha was eager to get intel out of him about what happened to him in the past weeks, which is when a whole new level of frustration started.

‘I told you it was not three weeks for me,’ Steve said.

‘Yes, and that’s about all you said,’ Natasha told him as she leaned on the doorway. Steve was back in Washington, didn’t even consider going to New York. Not that she expected him to accept the offer of going back to the Tower. And it wasn’t even about Vision or the Maximoffs. She was rather sure Steve and Tony did not talk to each other since Ultron. If Steve needed help with anything he called Sam, then called her, and usually asked her to bring Clint along if she wanted to. When things went really bad he was happy to accept help from Thor, Hill, Bobbi, or Sharon, and reluctant to accept help from Wanda, Pietro, and Vision. He always argued that Bruce wanted to be left alone, and nobody ever tried to ask him to contact Tony.

The last three weeks helped the rest of them to build back some of the bridges – that while not burned – but were seriously damaged. Of course Steve was not around for that, since it was all for him. He brought them back closer together than they were in months, but somehow remained on the outside.

‘I told you about the N’Garai,’ Steve said as he started putting away his groceries. Natasha caught him coming home from the store.

‘Yes, they’re evil demons, very helpful.’

‘What exactly are you expecting from me here?’ Steve asked.

‘I’d like you to tell me everything you have not told me so far,’ she answered simply. Steve sighed.

‘It’s not relevant,’ he said.

‘You can’t know that.’

Steve turned around.

‘I told you he made a deal, but not with Loki. I don’t know who. I don’t know what the book was, I don’t know what else they took from Hydra.’ Steve took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling for a moment. ‘I know you think that’s not much, but I only had a few hours to actually coax some answers out of Bucky. I wasn’t going to start interrogating him... I just... I just wanted him to talk to me.’

‘Last time you said it was about a day, now you said it was a few hours.’

Steve looked frustrated.

‘A few hours when we talked,’ he said.

‘What else were you doing then?’

‘We ate some sandwiches... slept a bit.’

‘Really?’ She wanted to smack him on the back of his head.

‘Don’t start.’

‘You ate food that was given to you, and then just went to sleep? I don’t know why you’re not more worried about these three weeks you lost.’

‘Look, I didn’t lose three weeks. Time just probably passes differently there. We’re talking about doors to other dimensions here.’

Natasha let him get back to his groceries for a bit, knowing when Steve needed a few moments. The frustrating thing was that Steve did not look at all of this with the same amount of concern the rest of them did. They had three weeks to come up with probable scenarios, evaluate and re-evaluate the threat Loki and Barnes posed. They made plans, they prepared, they were all ready to go the second they caught sight of any of them. Steve though, he spent less than a day with the man he still called his best friend, had some tentative conversation with him, gathered some minimal intelligence, and considered it a good start. Well, “good” was a strong word. Steve was worried, and he obviously wanted to know more as well, but his entire being lacked that sense of urgency he wore around himself like a cape while they were hunting Barnes down before.

‘He said “I’ll be seeing you”, so they’re obviously going to show up eventually,’ Steve said when he closed his fridge.

‘Yes, and I wonder what they’re doing in the meantime,’ Natasha said. ‘We don’t know where to look, they could be in the middle of something right now, and we’re just sitting around. We only found them the last time, because they wanted to be found.’

‘We’ll find them. This is big, Natasha, they can’t move in the shadows indefinitely.’

‘Yes, this is big, that’s why we need to be prepared.’

‘We are prepared,’ Steve argued. ‘Everyone is aware of the situation, if we catch a trail, we’ll be ready to move. What else can we do?’

They could do more if they had more intel, but she was not about to bring that up again. There was no changing the past. Steve’s relative calmness with the situation worried her more.

‘You can’t trust him,’ she reminded him seriously. ‘I mean it. Not with Loki in the picture.’

Steve was quiet, putting canned goods into a cupboard. Natasha couldn’t see his face.

‘Steve.’

‘I don’t,’ he said.

Natasha pushed herself away from the doorway.

‘Next time I ask, try to be more convincing,’ she told him, and headed to the door.

Steve got out of the kitchen just when Natasha put her hand on the doorknob.

‘You can’t seriously expect me not to give him the benefit of the doubt here,’ he said.

She turned back to look at him. He wanted some sort of a blessing, someone to agree with him, give him a nod. Unfortunately, Natasha couldn’t be that person.

‘You’re going to do what you want,’ she told him, because that was the truth. ‘What you think is best... or right. I’m going to do the same.’

This was not the answer Steve wanted, obviously. But he trusted her to tell him the truth, so she did just that.

‘Barnes is not the problem,’ she added, even if she knew that Steve wouldn’t misunderstand her earlier words. ‘We all know that, but he is still a part of it. Try not to forget that.’

Steve didn’t argue, he knew all this already.

As Natasha walked down the stairs she thought about how completely useless it was sometimes to waste words on Steve, especially when he already made up his stubborn head. And yet, she did still trust him to do the right thing.

* * *

Clint was waiting in the car, sunglasses on, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. Natasha got in the car and turned to him.

‘You’re being childish,’ she said and signed. Clint looked at her over the rim of his sunglasses for a moment, then shrugged.

‘I’m not mad at Cap,’ he said, still drumming his fingers.

‘That’s why you waited here,’ Natasha continued, her voice was quiet, but she signed every word, so Clint didn’t have trouble following, even with all the traffic zooming by.

Clint took off his glasses and finally stopped tapping the wheel.

‘I just... He cares about Barnes a whole lot more than he cares about the rest of us altogether,’ he said. ‘I’m allowed to be a bit irritated about that, when we don’t even know whether the guy’s just a little bonkers or full-on psycho. He _is_ prowling around with Loki.’

‘We don’t know Barnes’ plans,’ Natasha remarked.

‘You read all the files, Tasha,’ he said. ‘Neither Sergeant Barnes, nor the Winter Soldier were known for long cons. Even before Hydra got their hands on him he was the guy who finished fights, the one who put the bullets in the right brains. He’s not the guy with the plan, so my money’s on Loki. That scheming son of a bitch.’

Clint had great insight, as always, Natasha couldn’t even argue with him. Clint kept on talking, he wasn’t done just yet.

‘So I don’t care what he’s getting out of this deal he made, or why he made it. He’s--’

‘That’s not true,’ Natasha interrupted him. ‘You know it matters why he signed up for this. You know what he was getting away from. He probably took the first chance he got.’

There was a moment where they both stayed quiet, both of them just thinking in silence, shaking off bad memories, and past demons.

‘So what? We extract him?’ Clint asked. ‘How?’

Clint was basically reading her mind with how well their minds seemed to work together.

‘I don’t know yet, but I’m sure we’re going to need some help.’

‘Sounds good to me,’ Clint shrugged as he slipped his sunglasses back on and started the car.

* * *

When Steve vanished the rest of them stayed together, and after a few days they returned to the US to regroup. And while they could handle themselves just fine, and did not actually need any “designated leader”, there was still just one place they could think to go to. To think, to plan, to stay together in order to be able to move as a team at the first sign of Loki, Barnes, or Steve himself. That’s why Clint and Natasha drove straight back to New York, and did not stop until they reached 200 Park Avenue.

They could’ve arranged for a plane, instead of doing the four-hour journey, but they both liked to drive, and there was no reason to hurry and not waste a little time like this. Clint probably thought that the world was going to go to shit again very soon, that’s why he suggested it. And to be fair, there was no time but the present to do something pleasant. For Clint, a four-hour drive on a highway (without being chased or shot at), and stopping for half-decent diner food on the way, counted as time well spent. Natasha made fun of him for it, but still bought him a bunch of candy at a gas station. And Clint was all smiles by the time they got back to New York, so it was all absolutely worth it.

Stark knew they were coming even without JARVIS, but he paid them basically zero attention when the elevator opened. Natasha heard that he was in some heated scientific discussion with someone. When Natasha caught sight of the giant screen that person turned out to be Dr. Foster. Neither of them noticed that they entered the room, they were so immersed in the discussion.

‘ _There is no way he can just open up portals to different dimensions by himself, no matter the equipment, there just has to be more than what he can carry with himself!_ ’ Jane was saying, rather loudly and enthusiastically.

‘Think outside of the box,’ Tony replied. ‘An arc reactor is not that big, and there’s plenty of juice in it. Not to mention something like the Tesseract. Or what was that thing in London?

‘ _The Aether_ ,’ Jane said.

‘So, if there was only one precedent, I’d say it was pretty unlikely. But clearly that’s not the case.’

‘ _I’m going to have to get some more information out of Thor... he’s always very tight-lipped about advanced technology._ ’

‘Can’t say I blame him,’ Tony said. ‘Whenever we get our hands on something powerful, we immediately try to blow each other up, and almost wipe ourselves off the face of Earth in the process.’

‘ _Yeah... bad track record, right there_ ,’ Jane sighed. ‘ _Okay, what about any remnant energies?_ ’ she asked. ‘ _Or... anything?_ ’

‘We scanned and labelled every square inch where portals opened,’ Tony said. ‘And besides the obvious cracks, we found nothing but some faint weird electromagnetic radiation, and quickly decaying plasmonic fields.’

‘ _What we’re looking for has got to be on the other side_ ,’ Jane said.

‘But if it’s something like the Tesseract...’ Tony ventured.

‘ _Even so_ ,’ Jane shook her head. ‘ _No matter what it is, I’m pretty sure Captain Rogers would’ve seen it, if Loki had it on him_.’ Jane said. ‘ _These sort of things tend to be very flashy._ ’

‘That’s certainly true,’ Stark agreed easily.

‘ _I need more data_ ,’ she told him seriously. ‘ _This is quite different from my research, so this whole discussion is purely theoretical until I can actually make real-time readings, or have someone do it for me._ ’

‘What does Selvig say?’ Natasha joined the conversation, which was the moment the two of them even realized that they were standing in the room. No greetings were exchanged, they stayed strictly on-topic.

‘ _He’s been... a bit all over the place since Loki’s name was mentioned_ ,’ Foster said. ‘ _But he’s going to work on it too._ ’

‘We’ve got a big pile of steaming nothing,’ Tony said, turning to them. ‘The portals they used on the Hydra bases were one thing, it could’ve been just a short-cut between two points in space.’

‘ _Maybe_ s _omething similar to the Bifrost... or the Tesseract_ ,’ Jane finished. ‘ _But with everything Captain Rogers said, this seems fundamentally different... I really need to talk to some theoretical physicists... not that flesh-and-blood people opening up portals to other dimensions is something anyone is an expert in_.’

‘We’ve got you Foster, you’re the expert,’ Tony said.

Jane sighed, then nodded, looking determined. ‘ _Okay, but I’m still going to need some readings, or we’re just taking stabs in the dark_.’

‘I can do that, or Vision,’ Tony nodded. ‘If we get the chance. But call if you have any new theories anyway.’

‘How’s Thor?’ Natasha asked. Thor decided not to stay at the tower for the time being, but with Jane. Of course they weren’t that far from New York, so he was ready to jump in if anything changed about the current situation.

‘ _Well, y’know... it’s Loki, he’s not okay. It’s..._ ’ she put her elbows up on the desk she had her laptop on, taking a big breath. ‘ _He’s been dealing... both with what happened to his Mother and Loki, but this just... he’s more sad than angry right now. But I’m pretty sure we’re going to circle right back to angry real soon._ ’

She fiddled with her hair and gave them a faint smile. ‘ _But he’s Thor, so he’s putting on the smiles, he doesn’t want anyone to worry._ ’

‘Let me know if he’s brooding too much, and I’ll send birdie here over with a six-pack,’ Stark said, jerking a thumb in Clint’s direction.

‘What a horrible burden,’ Clint said, deadpan. Then he smiled up at the screen. ‘But I’m ready to take one for the team.’

That made her laugh, which was probably the point.

‘ _All right, send data, if you have data_ ,’ she said. ‘ _I’ve got some phone calls to make, and e-mails to write._ ’

‘Yes, work that big brain,’ Tony agreed. ‘Talk to you later.’

She said a quick bye, even waved a little, but they all saw that her mind was already somewhere else. That happened a lot with her. Tony turned off the screen and turned fully towards them.

‘Why does your faces make me think, that Captain America’s going to hate me even more for what you’re about to ask from me?’

‘That’s oddly specific,’ Natasha said with a frown. ‘And Steve doesn’t hate you.’

‘Not the point. You were in Washington, but now you’re here, which I suppose means you finally decided on a plan,’ Stark said. ‘I just assumed it’s not a “Steve approved” plan.’

‘Well, you’re not wrong,’ Clint shrugged.

* * *

‘You know what we need for this to actually work?’ Tony asked. ‘For them to show up.’

‘Steve was pretty confident that they will,’ Natasha said. ‘But it can be tomorrow or a month from now.’

‘Or never,’ Tony said.

‘I doubt what we saw was the grand finale,’ Natasha argued. ‘Seemed more like a prelude to me.’

Tony walked to his bar and poured himself a drink. Only when he emptied the glass did he look up at them again.

‘Okay, Loki is not going to do this cloak and dagger style all the way, I’ll give you that. He likes showing off, and make things big and spectacular,’ Tony agreed. ‘But what about Barnes? Where do you stand on him right now?’

‘He’s dangerous,’ Natasha said. ‘But he’s an assassin, and a covert operative, not a conman. I doubt he could actually fake remembering Steve.’

‘That doesn’t help the rest of us,’ Clint remarked.

‘And again, there’s Loki...’ Stark added.

‘Which is why we need to separate them,’ Natasha said. ‘Look, if Barnes just got himself into a mess, we can get him out of it. If he’s a threat, we will have him off the streets, and under surveillance.’

‘Win-win,’ Clint agreed.

Stark scratched at his beard, then poured himself another drink. Watching how many glasses he drowned was always a good indication of how stressed or uncomfortable he was. Two was not worrisome, but Natasha still kept an eye on the bottle.

‘And what about Cap?’ Tony asked. ‘You said he didn’t seem very gung-ho about capturing him since he got back.’

‘But he still wants him away from Loki,’ Natasha said.

‘He is not going to be happy with you two. With any of us,’ Tony said. ‘I don’t even get it why you’re not over in Washington, trying to convince him.’

‘If this would be about anyone but Barnes, I would try,’ Natasha said. ‘I would probably even succeed. But this _is_ Barnes. Steve’s got a blind spot the size of Serbia when it comes to him.’

‘Well, I hope you’re prepared for the wrath of the star-spangled man,’ Stark shrugged, his nonchalance was just a little forced. ‘Because I am not taking the flak for all this, just so you know.’

‘It’s going to be a team decision,’ Clint said. ‘If we all agree, Steve will have to agree too.’

‘Right,’ Stark snorted. ‘And I’m going to nominate Stane for a port-mortem Noble peace prize.’

Natasha wanted to say that Tony was exaggerating, but she knew exactly how hard it was to change Steve’s mind once he decided on something as the right course of action. And Barnes of course, it all came down to Barnes. She did not doubt for a second that Steve still had the safety of people set as a firm priority, but beyond that, it was all about Barnes. It wasn’t even just about the files she read, the plain black and white evidence of how far Steve was willing to go for his friend, she just knew Steve. She knew he was not going to give up, and won’t do anything that could compromise rebuilding the friendship they had. But Natasha couldn’t give Barnes the benefit of he doubt in this situation, and she was not alone.

‘All right, I’m in,’ Stark sighed at last. ‘But you get to inform the rest of the team about all this.’

‘Oh joy,’ Clint murmured, taking the words right out of Natasha’s mouth, their minds really did work on the same wave-length.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

There was sixteen days of nothing after Steve came back. Literally not a damn thing happened. Sam knew everyone was waiting. He was nowhere on anyone’s speed dial, but Natasha did keep him updated and even Clint shot him the occasional text. Everyone was waiting for Barnes and Loki to show up somewhere.

Steve pretended to be patient, but Sam knew he reached the end of his rope since after the first week. He was not one for sitting around, it made him a bit twitchy. He ran way more than he usually did in the mornings. He frowned deeply every time there was nothing to distract him. And Sam had really nothing to tell him. He couldn’t tell him not to worry, he couldn’t tell him to relax and wait it out. He kept him company, helped him by being someone to talk to, but that was basically it. Sam even dragged him over to the VA Centre a few times, and while the people there were awfully happy to see Captain America, it did little to lift Steve’s mood.

In the end, they found the demons first, or the demons found them. It was hard to tell, cause they showed up in New York. Yeah, demons, that was his life now, freakin’ demons, plural. For the first time Steve regretted not taking up the offer of returning to Stark Tower, it was written all over his face. But they’ve arranged a pick up with Hill a long time ago, so they were in the city relatively quickly.

The police knew the drill by now, they focused on herding civilians away from the danger and staying out of the way of the Avengers. Sam and Steve were the last to arrive and they heard very little about what exactly was going on until they got hooked up to the comm-link.

‘How do we look?’ Steve asked the second he could hear the chatter of the rest of the team.

‘ _Nice of you to join us_ ,’ Natasha said right away. ‘ _We spotted at least six of them so far, Thor killed one already, but more could be on the way._ ’

‘Any sign of Loki or Bucky?’ Steve asked.

‘ _No_ ,’ Natasha said.

The small quinjet put them down at Madison Square Park, the pilot bailing out of there as soon as possible. Sam saw the destruction the N’Garai left behind on the street in front of them.

‘So what are they after?’ he asked.

‘ _When they appeared they were circling and clawing up a building_ ,’ Natasha said. ‘ _But they left it alone when we got here. They’ve been roaming since_.’

‘They’re searching for something,’ Steve said.

‘ _Someone_ ,’ they were interrupted by a different voice.

‘Wanda? Where are you?’ Steve demanded.

‘ _37 West 26_ _th_ _Street_ ,’ she replied ‘ _They just attacked some studio. Thor and Vision are holding them off. I think they want someone from inside. I can’t... I can’t really harm them dammit, unless I want to level the building_.’

‘Evacuate!’ Steve said.

‘ _We’re on it,_ ’ Natasha confirmed.

‘We’ll be right there,’ Steve replied then turned to Sam.

‘Fly, it’s quicker, I’ll catch up with you.’

Sam nodded and took off right away. There was no time to waste. He knew Steve would be able to run over there pretty damn quickly, so he did not worry about him not getting there in time. He spotted a few of the N’Garai as soon as the twelve story building on the 26th appeared in his line of sight. They were trying to scale the building, sinking their claws into bricks and window sills.

As he flew closer he felt the wind pick up around him, and he knew immediately why when lightning struck down one of the things. He did not see Thor himself, but that mattered very little, he was there. Next he caught sight of Vision’s yellow cape. Steve was right about him being a little... weird, but damn. Sam kept his distance as Vision grabbed hold of one of the things, dislodging their claws from the building. Then he plummeted to the ground, dropping down like lead, with the beast underneath him. That was definitely going to leave a big hole in the concrete down below.

‘ _Hey people... we need a little help up here_ ,’ yelled Pietro through the comms. Sam flew up to the roof, because even if he could not help Thor and Vision against the demons, he sure as hell could do more than just stare at others as they did the heavy lifting.

As soon as he touched down Pietro appeared right in front of him, too fast to even know from which direction he exactly came from.

‘You need to fly some people over to another rooftop,’ he said quickly. ‘The back entrance is screwed to hell.’

A moment later the door leading down into the building was pushed open and Barton marched out, some people followed him out as closely as possible. Most of them looked literally scared out of their minds.

‘You got it,’ Sam nodded and Pietro was gone in a blink, probably back into the building.

Natasha got out to the roof last, gripping the arm of a crying woman, who clearly hurt her leg.

‘Okay, you first then lady,’ he said as he rushed over to them.

‘No,’ Natasha shook her head. ‘We don’t know who they want, one of us needs to get over there first.’

‘Right, Barton!’

But before he could take a step closer some of the people started shouting and even screaming. A N’Garai popped its ugly head up to the roof, red eyes scanning the small crowd.

Barton let an arrow fly and Sam had no idea what sort of arrow it was, but the thing let out a god-awful wail when it hit it in the neck. It started shaking its head frantically, before it reached up with a big clawed hand to tear it out. It bought them enough time, because the next moment Thor dropped down on the creature from above, grabbing hold of a horn and yanking them off of the roof.

Some guy from the small crowd let out a relieved shout of “Yes!”, but the beasts were still growling, they were still coming. Sam grabbed hold of Clint and quickly leaped off the edge, smoothly gliding two buildings over to another rooftop.

‘We need to find out who they want,’ Clint said as soon as his feet were firmly down. ‘Cause we can’t protect them all.’

‘We’ll find out soon enough,’ Sam told him, then he took flight again. Sam had to carry them over one-by-one and the demons were bound to react.

‘ _I’m here!_ ’ Steve announced through the comms.

‘ _Back entrance!_ ’ Pietro yelled in return. ‘ _Now!_ ’

‘ _On my way!_ ’ Steve shouted back.

Sam landed right next to Natasha and the injured woman. He picked the lady up gingerly, trying not to hurt her leg more. He kept looking around, waiting for one of the demons to jump at him, but they were still just climbing up the side of the building, trying to get to the top. It was safe to fly.

He put the woman down on the other rooftop, helped her sit down.

‘Sit tight, we’re gonna get you out of here,’ Sam reassured her. She nodded back, visibly gathering herself to not freak out even more. Sam leaped off the edge and flew back to the first building.

He made a few turns, keeping an eye on the N’Garai, listening to the others. Steve and Pietro managed to barricade the back entrance of the building, so the demons were not getting in from that direction, while Wanda somehow kept all windows intact. The glass surfaces were all shimmering with a faint red glow and did not break, not even when the N’Garai slammed into them with full force. Thor bashed open the head of another one of them, but he did not have much time to fight them one-on-one, because Vision just couldn’t pick them all off the building by himself. And they really needed to keep them away form the roof.

Sam also saw that the police closed down both ends of the street, keeping everyone away. It would have been nice to keep the battle to this one location. There were way too many civilians out on the streets this time of the day. He also caught sight of two news helicopters circling above them and he was pretty damn sure they were not going to be the only ones.

‘Okay, you next lady,’ Sam said as he landed. There were only six people left on the roof. Sam deliberately left those who looked the most composed last. He wasn’t sure whether it was a New Yorker thing, or they just felt safe with Avengers left and right, but the remaining people looked freakishly calm, considering the situation. The woman grabbed hold of his neck and Sam leaped off the building. Only to hear the demons start snarling with a lot more vigour than before.

‘ _It’s her,_ ’ Natasha declared through the comms. Well, shit.

‘ _Fly higher,_ ’ Vision instructed. ‘ _They’re after you._ ’

Sam only glanced back for one second, but he already saw one of the things leaping off the side of the building in his direction. He aimed for the sky and flew until he was at least twenty stories high.

‘What’s going on?’ the lady shouted at him.

‘Where do I go?’ Sam asked the others, not having time to answer her just yet. He couldn’t just fly off in any direction, the demons would follow him through the streets. He also couldn’t just stay up in the air indefinitely.

‘ _Stark Tower,_ ’ Vision said. ‘ _Keep flying high, let us worry about the rest._ ’

That was such a shitty plan, but Sam did not argue. He flew higher.

‘Where are we going?’ the lady asked him. Sam finally took a better look at her. She was in her thirties, brown skin and long black hair, most likely Native.

‘They’re after you,’ Sam told her. ‘We’re gonna get you some place safe.’

‘What?!’ she exclaimed.

‘Do you have any idea why?’

‘No! I don’t know!’ she shouted back at him.

‘What’s your name?’ he asked and he very pointedly did not look back, he didn’t want to know how close the demons were.

‘Sara.’

‘Sara, hi, I’m Sam. They’re not gonna get you, okay?’ Sam told her. ‘And once you’re safe, we’ll figure out why they’re after you.’

‘Okay,’ she agreed, holding on a little more tightly.

Sam heard the sound of the fight behind them, heard the crack of lightning, felt the wind pick up, he even saw Vision from the corner of his eye. He saw that Pietro was down on the street, well, he saw a blue blur or motion a bit ahead of them. He was trying to clear the way, warn the pedestrians before the demons reached them. The things were not giving up, they were charging down the road, pushing cars out of the way, running up on buildings, and jumping from roof to roof in order to follow them. But at least as long as people got out of the way in time there would be no seriously casualties. At least he really hoped so.

Then he caught sight of something else. Someone else. Great.

‘Loki’s here,’ he announced through the comm. ‘Up on the roofs, on my nine.’

He had no idea how Loki was keeping up with them on foot, but he was. Every time Sam thought he was falling behind he just popped up again.

‘ _Watch out for Barnes then,_ ’ Natasha warned him. ‘ _He can’t be far._ ’

‘I’m not really worried about him, to be honest,’ Sam replied, because he had demons on his tail. Barnes was maybe a big question mark, but the N’Garai were definitely out for blood.

But still, Loki was not following the demons, he was following them.

‘Okay, shit, I’m pretty sure they’re here for her too.’

‘Who’s here for me?’ Sara asked, only hearing Sam’s side of the conversation. Sam didn’t really know how to explain, so he just shook his head.

‘Later, let’s get you to the Tower.’

He tried to stay away from the buildings, but some of the streets were really narrow and he did not want to fly that high. He was above most buildings, but not the biggest skyscrapers.

‘ _Thor killed another one_ ,’ Vision reported.

Sam tried to keep an eye on Loki, but he was still mostly worried about the demons. So he didn’t notice when exactly he vanished from his nine. He caught the sound of something strange just a second before one of his wings got pierced at a corner and he was yanked to the side. Sara gripped him tight and bit back a panicky shout as they almost crashed into a building. There was a grappling hook in his wing, a really familiar one. He managed to avoid the corner of the building, but they hit the rooftop of the building next to it. Sam took the fall, making sure Sara landed on him. It was not a big fall, but damn, it still hurt.

Sara’s weight was gone from top of him almost immediately.

‘What the shit, let go of me!’ she yelled. Sam shook his head and opened his eyes. Freakin’ Barnes, what the hell?

‘You serious with this bullshit?’ Sam shouted at him as he got to his feet. ‘We’ve got demons on our assess.’

Barnes definitely did not feel like giving him an answer, he backed away from the edge of the roof, keeping a firm arm around Sara’s waist. He must’ve said something to her, because she was not yelling or trying to get away from him. Not that Sam blamed here, Barnes was one scary bastard when he had that mission face on.

And sure enough, Sam could already hear the rumbling of a demon. He couldn’t get the hook out of his wing easily. He first had to cut the cable with the knife he kept strapped to his shin. The wing was still damaged, but it would have to do for now. At least Barnes was kind enough not to rip his damn wing completely off this time. Not that he felt good about his chances of flying safely like this. He folded them back into place, not being sure if he could use them again today. And that was just perfect.

Loki dropped down from a nearby building just as a N’Garai’s claws appeared at the edge of the rooftop. Loki was slowly getting closer to Barnes, keeping his red eyes locked on the demon climbing up. Sam was tense from head-to-toe, and he had no idea what exactly the right course of action was here.

‘I really could use some help here,’ he told the others through the comm, because it was the truth, he really-really needed some help.

‘ _We’re on our way_ ,’ Vision replied, but Sam heard the sound of the fight around him, so he knew it could take some time.

The demon tried to charge at Sara and Barnes, but Loki got in its way, kicking it in the head and sinking a long knife into the back of its neck. At the same time Sam heard repulsor thrusters and he expected Vision, but got Iron Man instead. Just out of nowhere. Stark dropped down next to Barnes, or almost on top of him really. Barnes let go of Sara, who ran to get out of the way. Sam ran to her immediately. Only the N’Garai noticed her being alone too, and charged.

Sam got to Sara just a second sooner than the demon, and he wrapped both his arms around her, trying to shield her as much as possible. He knew he could do nothing against the claws, still he had to try. He expected pain, he expected blood, or just instant death really, but the thing was just snarling real close and fuck... Loki stood in its way, basically wrestling with the thing. They needed to get out of here.

He and Sara backed away from Loki and the demon. Sam didn’t want to risk flying. Maybe the damaged wing could take his weight, but not both of theirs.

‘ _What’s going on up there?_ ’ Steve yelled through the comms.

‘I need someone to get Sara the hell out of here!’ Sam shouted back. ‘Loki’s got the demon, but shit, we are so not safe here!’

Stark was not connected to their channel, because he did not answer. He stood firmly in front of Barnes, while the other was circling him. Sam finally spotted a service ladder, but of course it was on the other side of the roof from where Sam and Sara were. They had to get to it though.

‘See the ladder over there?’ he asked her. Sara looked around, then nodded. ‘When I tell you to run, you run. I’m gonna cover you, you just run to it, and start climbing down. Understand?’

‘Yes, I got it,’ she nodded, her eyes firmly locked on the other side of the roof. Sam had to give it to her, she was holding it together quite admirably.

Loki and the N’Garai kept each other busy, so Sam waited for the moment Barnes was distracted enough. Stark was the first one to make a move, Barnes dodged him, keeping his distance. It was good enough for Sam.

‘Now, run!’ he yelled. Sara got to her feet and started running immediately. She was fast and ran without a moment of hesitation. Sam was right behind her.

Stark managed to grab hold of Barnes the next time he attacked, because the edge of the roof was right there and Barnes could not back away from him. But the second he was trapped he pulled a knife from somewhere and sank it to the hilt right into Stark’s right shoulder. It went through the armour at least a little, because Stark let go of him.

Sara was at the ladder, but she stopped abruptly.

‘I can’t go down there!’ she yelled at him. Sam looked down and saw that half of the damn thing was missing, fucking hell. They were sixteen or eighteen stories high and there was no point going down and getting trapped on a ladder if they could not reach the ground.

‘Help is on its way,’ Sam reassured her. ‘Stay behind me.’

Sam could hear the sound of Barnes’ arm recalibrating even from where he stood, then he watched as he turned and swung at Stark’s head. He had no idea whether the arm was sturdier or the helmet, but the sound of metal slamming into metal rang quite loudly. Then Barnes’ metal fingers went for the helmet’s eye socket, piercing right through it before Stark could push him away or dodge in any way. Barnes was wicked fast.

Barnes’ knife was still sticking out from Stark’s shoulder, and only one of the eyes was glowing in the helmet, and then Barnes pulled his gun. This was so not good.

The N’Garai let out a painful shriek, so Sam turned and saw that Loki finally finished the thing off. The creature’s head looked like it was steaming, covered in ice and frost, its grey skin was blackened in several places. Loki’s skin was more blue than grey for a few seconds, but it shifted quickly back to grey as he approached.

Stark stood right between Loki and Barnes. Not the smartest place to be, in Sam’s opinion.

The sky thundered above them, and they all heard another demon’s snarl. Thor and Vision had to be close now, but unfortunately the rest of the demons were too.

‘Go!’ Barnes yelled, he did not take his eyes off of Stark. Loki was opening his mouth, but Barnes cut him off. ‘Just fucking go!’

Loki ran right at Sam and Sara and seriously, hopefully nobody expected him to be able to stop him. Loki tossed him aside like he was a rag doll, and picked Sara up by the waist just as easily, then jumped off the roof. Sara let out a startled scream as they vanished over the edge. Sam got up again, he was going to be so damn bruised.

Stark went for Barnes again, caught the flesh arm that had the gun in it, forcing it down. Barnes’ metal fist smashed into his helmet again, Sam was pretty sure the face plate got dented. Stark head-butted him in answer. Barnes stumbled back for a second, a little dazed from the blow, then slammed his whole body forward, twisting both of them around as they went down to get his trapped arm out of Stark’s grasp.

Sam ran to the edge, but by the time he got there he only caught a glimpse of Sara and Loki as they vanished in a portal. Goddammit!

Barnes seemed to want to make a run for it, but Stark grabbed hold of his leg. Barnes twisted around and raised his gun. Sam had no idea whether he could actually harm Stark with it, but he did not get a chance to pull the trigger, because Stark burst forward and punched him right in the face, hard. And Barnes was tough, real tough, but he went down from the force of it.

‘ _The N’Garai are running_ ,’ he heard Natasha say in his earpiece ‘ _Sam?_ ’

Vision finally arrived, landing on the roof. He was practically covered in the dark blood of the demons, his cape was torn to shreds, so Sam knew what kept him. Probably Thor did not look any better.

‘Loki’s got Sara,’ Sam told them all. ‘They’re gone.’

Stark straightened up, still keeping a very close eye on Barnes, but he was out cold for sure.

‘And we got Barnes,’ Sam added. There was a moment of silence from the other side. They probably all waited for the same thing.

‘ _You what?_ ’ Steve demanded. And oh boy, he did not sound happy.

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

Tony had to cut the helmet off his head, it dented that badly. He couldn’t even get to it right away, because he could feel the blood dripping down his arm from his shoulder wound, making the inside of his gauntlets wet and disgusting. So he sat around half-naked, wearing nothing but the bottom of his under armour, with the dented helmet still on his head, while the stab wound on his shoulder got stitched and bandaged by the resident doctor of Stark Tower.

And yeah, that shoulder wound. He was stabbed, through his armour. Barnes went and stabbed through his armour... with a knife. His gold titanium alloy suit. Stabbed through. With a knife. He was still trying to wrap his head around this impossibility. Because that’s what it was, what it should have been; impossible. And yet, he had eight stitches that proved otherwise.

So after he cut his helmet off his head, and shit his face was bruised like hell underneath it, he took the time to pry the knife fully out of his suit. He would have to repair it and get the blood out... well, maybe it was better if he just made a new right arm for this suit. When the knife was finally out, Tony had an inkling why it went through his armour so smoothly. Because it sure as hell was not the sort of military knife Barnes reportedly used. He considered doing a full scan on the thing, but then he remembered that he had the real-life expert on all things alien; Thor. Plus he couldn’t hide from Steve forever.

Barton caught up with him on his way to the elevator, eyeing the bandage on his shoulder.

‘Yeah, can you believe this?’ Tony asked. ‘A knife... right through my suit.’

Barton just pushed the correct floor button and didn’t comment on it. Tony turned the knife around in his hand. The handle looked really fancy, black and gold, tiny motives carved into it. It had a thick ring at the very end, with something like runes engraved on it. The blade itself shone with a metallic golden glimmer. Spear point blade, straight and double-edged, it was more of a dagger really, now that Tony thought about it. He really hoped Thor would recognize it, even though Tony could already guess where it came from.

‘I hope you and Romanoff are ready to put your heads out,’ he said then. ‘How deep is Cap’s scowl anyway? Cutting remarks level, or is it already at “punch in the face” heights?’

Barton sighed.

‘I see your lips moving,’ he said. ‘But you gotta stop talking at me when I don’t have my hearing aid in. I caught maybe five words from all that.’

Barton’s face was picturesquely unimpressed. Tony thought about it for a moment then put up his index finger to sign “Where?”.

‘Forgot to buy batteries,’ Barton shrugged. It was Tony’s turn to be unimpressed. Barton should let him improve that piece of plastic nonsense, give it a better energy source, improve the effectiveness, but no. He was so done trying to convince him.

The elevator arrived and they both stepped out.

‘HELEN, make a note,’ Tony spoke out loud. ‘I want batteries delivered to Clint here. To his floor, his apartment, I don’t know, someone break into his car and hide some in his glove box.’

‘ _That does not sound like an overreaction at all_ ,’ HELEN replied with her expected exasperation.

‘Really, a new AI?’

Steve, here we go.

‘Yes,’ Tony answered plainly as he walked into the room where their merry band gathered. ‘This is HELEN. Say hi, hun.’

‘ _Welcome back to Stark Tower_ ,’ HELEN said pleasantly. ‘ _If you’d like to take your floor again, let me know well in advance._ ’

Steve still did not look happy.

‘I’d like someone to confirm what I’m about to say,’ Tony said. ‘It would be virtually impossible to manage this building without an AI. And I’m not even going to mention how difficult it would be to fly my suit. Vision, back me up here, would you?’

There was that face the android made. It was exactly the kind of patient, but slightly long-suffering look Tony always pictured JARVIS would make in reaction to Tony’s silly questions, if he had a face that is. He knew – he knew very well – that Vision was not JARVIS. Vision reminded him of that plenty of times (almost daily). But there was just no way he could stop associating them.

‘It would most definitely require a serious redesign for the entire building, including basic features like the elevators, camera feeds, and motion sensors,’ Vision confirmed.

‘Thank you,’ Tony said, and spread his arms, looking back at Steve.

‘ _I would be more worried about Tony’s ability to dress and feed himself without supervision_ ,’ HELEN commented helpfully. Tony didn’t react to the comment, he was looking at Steve. He had his arms crossed over his chest, scowl in place, just as Tony expected.

‘Look, before you--’

‘No, I don’t care,’ Steve cut him off. ‘You went behind my back. This was not your decision to make.’

‘I don’t think it’s your decision to make either,’ Tony shot back. ‘You are not exactly objective here.’

‘Taking him in custody was not a priority,’ Steve told him angrily.

‘Excuse me, see this?’ he asked, pointing at his shoulder. ‘He stabbed me. And I imagine my face speaks for itself.’

‘Yeah, have you seen _his_ face?’ Steve asked in return, the scowl darkening.

‘Steve, Tony didn’t act on his own, okay?’ Natasha interrupted. Nobody else seemed eager to interrupt their argument. Fucking fantastic, he really was going to take the flak for this.

‘Yes, that’s clear. Great teamwork everyone,’ he said and now he finally turned to look at the rest of them. ‘Clearly it was too difficult to see the real priority today.’

Natasha crossed her arms, but held Steve’s gaze.

‘What?’ Tony asked, since nobody else did.

‘Sara,’ Sam said. ‘The lady I was doing my best to keep out of demon claws. The lady Loki just snatched up, cause you were too busy with Barnes to fly her to safety.’

‘Whoa, hey,’ Tony protested. ‘I don’t know about any Sara.’

‘You would, if you’d bothered to connect to the comms when you arrived,’ Sam said.

‘There’s no guarantee Tony could’ve gotten her out,’ Wanda said firmly. Bless her heart for sticking up for him, Tony liked her even more now. ‘The N’Garai would’ve just followed them to the Tower.’

‘Yeah, and they were making quite a mess on the streets,’ Pietro backed her up right away.

Steve did not like to hear that, but before he could start arguing with them Tony spoke up again.

‘Which brings us back to why some of us thought Barnes _was_ a priority,’ he said and lifted the knife.

‘Where did you get that?’ Thor asked. Not unexpected at all.

‘This is the knife Barnes kindly introduced to my shoulder,’ he said. When Thor walked closer Tony handed it over to him.

‘Let me guess,’ Natasha said, staring at it in Thor’s hand. ‘Loki?’

‘Aye, it belongs to my brother,’ Thor nodded. ‘He does not easily part with his finest daggers. I never thought I would see this one in anyone else’s hands.’

‘Is it special?’ Steve asked. ‘Y’know... magic stuff?’

‘Not that I know of,’ Thor said. ‘But I know it’s worth more than my weight in gold.’

There was a moment of reasonably shocked silence. Clint looked over at Natasha when he saw the looks on their faces.

‘What now?’ He asked and she signed it to him. ‘No way! How in the hell?’ he asked then, eyes glued to the blade.

‘It’s from Nidavellir,’ Thor said. ‘It’s Dwarven work, just like my hammer Mjölnir, and my father’s spear Gungnir. Although it has no unique powers, it is still relatively indestructible.’

‘And strong enough to stab through my armour,’ Tony noted.

‘Or even mine,’ Thor nodded.

Steve’s frown took on a whole new shape, less focused rage, more confused anger.

‘They must be real good buds then,’ Tony said. It was a low blow, phrasing it like that, but he couldn’t help himself. When Steve was on the offensive, Tony’s mind urged him to push right back.

‘HELEN, how’s our guest?’ he asked out loud. A few holographic screens appeared in view and they all turned to look at them.

‘ _Awake,_ ’ she said. ‘ _But not very happy from what I can determine based on heart rate and body language_.

The room Tony dropped him off in was sort of a cell. A small reinforced room with no windows, almost Hulk-proof walls, and a whole lot of cameras. It very carefully did not have anything that could be used as weapons. The bed was low on the floor, kinda Japanese-style, the single sink was built into the wall, and seriously, if anyone tore the toilet out of the floor to use it as a weapon, they deserved to have it.

Barnes was walking around. It was no furious pacing, he almost looked bored. Well, almost, he was clenching and unclenching his metal fist over and over again. The tense set of his shoulders also did not look friendly. He did not have his full body armour, just a thin under shirt, and all his weapons were taken from him. He still looked more than a little dangerous to Tony.

‘Hey HELEN, I think that arm should’ve been disabled.’

‘ _That would have required your expertise_ ,’ HELEN said.

‘You are not taking his arm,’ Steve said.

‘It’s a weapon, Cap,’ Tony said. ‘Giving him a gun would be less dangerous.’

‘Yes, but it’s also _his arm_ ,’ Steve repeated.

‘Yeah, I don’t think we should do that,’ Wilson agreed with him, of course.

‘I agree,’ Natasha nodded. Tony looked at her in disbelief. ‘We want him to cooperate, not plan our slow and painful deaths.’

‘I’m pretty sure he’s planning murder already,’ Pietro commented, eyeing Barnes on the screen dubiously.

Tony finally saw his face when Barnes turned towards one of the cameras in the wall. That one was hidden behind a thick plastic panel. Stylish, and it helped surveillance. From the inside it looked like a decorative little square, one of the dozens scattered all around that wall.

And okay, Barnes face looked worse than his. He must’ve washed his face by the sink, cause there was no blood, but his forehead was bruised from where Tony head-butted him, and the punch left an even worse mark. That side of his face was swollen, including the eye, and the skin definitely broke over his cheekbone. Almost the entire left side was discoloured, but already black and blue though, so Tony was pretty sure he would be fine in a day or so. Yes, it looked bad right now, but he was a damn super-soldier. It didn’t stop Steve from side-eyeing him.

Barnes seemed to stare at the hidden camera for a moment, but Tony wasn’t sure whether he actually noticed it, or just liked to stare at random spots on the wall. He turned his back on it a second later.

‘I’ll go talk to him,’ Natasha announced.

‘Sure that’s a good idea?’ Sam asked.

‘I should talk to him,’ Steve argued, surprising no one.

‘No, we need answers, and you are not going to ask the right questions.’

‘He could attack you,’ Wanda said.

‘You’re all going to be right here, if I need any assistance. It’ll be fine.’

‘I won’t even try to argue with you if--’ Tony started to say, but they all heard a loud crack and turned back to the screens. Barnes’ fist was taking up one of the screens, because he just punched in the plastic panel, son of a bitch. When he pulled his arm back the view from that camera was almost completely obscured by the cracks he left.

‘I do not think he will be in the mood to talk,’ Thor remarked.

‘We’ll see,’ Natasha shrugged and headed over to the room.

* * *

Vision volunteered to stand outside the door while Natasha was inside, because he decided that it was more important for Thor to hear whatever conversation happened inside. And nobody wanted Steve by the door, not even Wilson. That frown was really getting darker and darker on his face.

When the door opened Barnes stopped and turned, but didn’t react in any other visible way. Natasha just looked at him for a moment while she closed the door, then smiled just a little.

‘Hello, James,’ she said. Barnes just stared back. ‘That name okay?’ No answer. Natasha was unfazed, she walked further inside the room. She asked Thor to give her Loki’s dagger, she was casually turning it around in her hand now. It didn’t look threatening, just absent minded. It drew Barnes’ attention, but he didn’t comment on it.

Natasha held up the knife, looking at how it gleamed under the lights in the room.

‘This must’ve been pretty hard to come by,’ she said.

Barnes sighed deeply. ‘I’m sure Thor can tell you a lot more about that,’ he said.

‘Probably,’ Natasha shrugged. ‘He was surprised though. So how come Loki was willing to part with it?’

‘I beat him at poker,’ Barnes replied. His voice was both flat and dripping with sarcasm.

Natasha huffed a small laugh, but Tony would bet anything it was just for show. He didn’t know her angle though. Natasha smoothly slid the knife into her belt, freeing her hands.

‘How are you feeling, by the way?’ she asked then. ‘We could probably get some ice for your face.’

‘Really?’ Barnes asked, tone still mostly flat, but now also a little annoyed maybe. Tony had a feeling he was not reacting to the ice. Natasha just blinked back at him questioningly.

‘You think this will work?’

‘This...?’ Natasha let the word draw out questioningly, raising her eyebrows. Barnes’ arm recalibrated, the plates shifted around as he curled up his fingers, not completely into a fist, but almost.

‘Я занимался этим задолго до того, как ты одела свои первые балетки,’ he said evenly.

Natasha turned her head quickly and stared at him, her whole body went rigid for a moment.

‘Was that Russian? HELEN, I need you to translate that for us,’ Tony said, eyes still glued to the screen.

‘ _I believe the correct translation is; “I have been doing this long before you got your first ballet shoes.” But the exact meaning escapes me, I’m afraid._ ’

‘Why ballet shoes?’ Steve wondered. Good question.

‘What?’ Natasha asked quietly.

‘Oh, look at that; raw emotions,’ Barnes continued in English. ‘Just enough to glimpse your pain... but enough. More than enough to show how easily I can cause it.’

Natasha was still silent, just like the rest of them. The tension in front of the monitors was tangible.

‘I mean, that’s what you want me to think anyway,’ Barnes said then, a lot more casually. And that was an abrupt shift from the slow and deep tone he just used. ‘You’re hurting, so I’m leading, that it? Now you’re just a poor breakable girl, easily crushed under the boots of some big scary man... come on. Is this supposed to make me cocky? Overconfidence leads to mistakes or somethin’?’

He finally moved, walked a little closer to Natasha. He did not look like he wanted to be menacing, but somehow he was. Tony had no idea whether Natasha thought so too, but from where Tony was looking at him, he looked pretty damn intimidating.

He rolled his head to the side as he looked at her.

‘I ain’t Loki, doll.’

‘No, you’re not,’ Natasha answered, all signs of her previous shock gone, she was back to business. ‘So why are you working with him?’

Barnes did that sigh again, where his shoulders literally lifted, almost a huff.

‘Hmm... no dice,’ he said and turned his back on her, walking to the bed and dropping down on it.

‘Okay, and what about the girl? Sara,’ Natasha asked.

‘You can’t honestly expect me to answer any of your questions,’ Barnes said. He settled on the bed comfortably, back to the wall, legs spread lazily. How on Earth did he still look intimidating with that haystack hair and bruised-to-hell face? That’s what Tony wanted to know.

‘So that’s just for Steve?’ Natasha asked. ‘Sharing intel.’

‘Well, that was me talking to a friend,’ Barnes said. ‘Now I’m your prisoner, so you get my prisoner attitude, and it ain’t charming.’

‘Why though?’ Natasha asked. ‘You don’t have to be a prisoner. Whatever mess you got yourself into, you have to know that we can get you out of it. So why not?’

‘You really gotta try harder than this,’ Barnes answered.

‘I am trying not to treat you like a mark, you ought to have noticed that by now.’

‘And I’m trying not to use the whole damn lot of you for target practice, but I guess we are just going to keep making each other’s lives difficult.’

Now there was some real venom in his voice, no way was he acting. Steve’s clenched jaw confirmed that real nicely too. Tony really wanted to know what was going around in his head right now, looking at the screens, and listening to what was being said.

Natasha’s face remained blank and her body language did not give away anything either.

‘You’d really have no problem killing one of us?’ she asked. Barnes looked at her for one long moment in silence.

‘That dagger’s blade is eight inches long,’ he said then, apropos of nothing. ‘It can go through almost any Asgardian armour, so something like titanium gold... cuts it like butter.’

Tony deliberately bit his lips to not comment on that, because he wanted to know what the fuck the guy was getting at.

‘Just the tip reached flesh, it went about two inches deep. I didn’t twist it around, so that makes seven or eight stitches,’ Barnes continued. Tony uncomfortably rolled his injured shoulder without thinking about it and a twinge of pain shot through his arm.

Natasha held Barnes’ gaze as he talked, but did not interrupt him. She probably wanted to know as much as the rest of them where he was going with this.

‘Now that’s the shoulder,’ Barnes said easily. ‘The armour is at least 40% thinner on the side below the jaw and even thinner under the chin, for better neck flexibility and head rotation.’

How in the hell did Barnes know that? That’s not... no, you couldn’t just observe this in one fight. This guy had information from somewhere else.

‘So that eight inch blade,’ Barnes gave Natasha a meaningful look. ‘Well, that would go about five or six inches deep. Bye-bye little Stark Jr.’

‘Son of a bitch,’ Tony mumbled, then before anyone could stop him he activated one of the microphones on the screen so he could be heard inside.

‘Oh, so you didn’t stab me in the neck, you want a fucking cookie for that?’ he asked angrily. Barnes looked up in the direction of one of the hidden speakers and had the gall to smirk. Natasha looked annoyed.

‘He’s baiting you, Tony,’ she said.

‘It sounds like a threat to me,’ Tony said. He was surprised Rogers didn’t interrupt him already, but Tony didn’t take the time to look at his face, so he couldn’t even guess why not.

‘Perspective,’ Barnes said. ‘Just so you can rethink the severity of your injury.’

‘Okay, I bite,’ Tony told him. ‘Why do I need to rethink that? I’ve got the stitches and all, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what you’re capable of.’

‘Nah, you don’t, not really. Just words on a paper,’ Barnes said.

‘Enlighten me, Cyberboy,’ Tony prompted, he didn’t care how badly Natasha was glaring at him through the camera.

‘It means it took effort not to kill you, cause the throat would have been easier,’ Barnes said, his voice a lot harder than it was while he spoke to Natasha. ‘It means, I don’t like being locked up, it pisses me off. So next time... I won’t bother making an effort.’

Well then, that was crystal clear.

‘Next time?’ Natasha repeated. ‘You don’t expect to be here long?’

‘The answer to that should be obvious,’ Barnes told her, voice going back to casual.

‘Loki will come for you,’ she concluded.

‘Eventually,’ Barnes said as he leaned back to the wall again, his body shifting back to a relaxed sprawl.

‘Why not right away?’

‘He knows you won’t kill me,’ Barnes said.

‘He’s--’

‘Хорошего дня, Наталья,’ Barnes interrupted. The two of them stared at one another for a long moment again until Barnes turned his head away. Then he started to whistle. He literally looked like he was ignoring the hell out of the whole damn world around him.

Maybe Natasha thought there was no point pushing for more answers, or she just wanted to talk to the rest of them, but either way she turned to leave the room.

‘You still have a choice, James,’ she said before she opened the door. ‘But I don’t know for how much longer.’

Barnes just kept whistling the tune, not reacting to the words at all.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia time: I did not come up with [H.E.L.E.N.](http://marvel.wikia.com/H.E.L.E.N._\(Earth-616\)), she really is the successor of J.A.R.V.I.S. in the comics. Tony programmed her to resemble Pepper. 
> 
> Хорошего дня, Наталья – Have a nice day, Natalia.
> 
> Million thanks to [Alvaid](http://alvaid.tumblr.com/) for the Russian translations :)


	13. Chapter 13

Steve waited a corner away from Bucky’s “room”, a paper bag clutched in his too tight fist. The wall warmed up behind his back, he’s been standing there that long.

‘Gathering courage?’ someone asked and Steve turned his head to look at Maria Hill.

‘Hey, when did you get here?’ he asked.

‘Just now,’ she said as she walked closer. ‘I heard you still haven’t been in there.’

Bucky’s been at Stark Tower for about 30 hours now and Steve just... he couldn’t find the right moment to visit him. He felt really bad about it, and he wasn’t a coward, he was not afraid of visiting him. He just wasn’t sure what to expect.

‘Thor’s in there now,’ Steve said, not answering the real question.

‘Think he will get more out of him?’ Maria asked.

Thor probably only asked about Loki and frankly, Steve had no idea how much Bucky would tell him. Loki was one of the things he kept silent about. So Steve just shook his head and shrugged.

He thought he had a pretty good grasp on what this “new” Bucky was like, but that first conversation he had with Natasha proved otherwise. He knew the Winter Soldier’s single-minded focus and ruthless drive, how nothing mattered just the mission. The secretive, quiet Bucky he talked to before was strange, but Steve still caught glimpses of the man he used to be. That Bucky smiled when he told him he remembered Becca. That Bucky woke him up to show him the nebula outside his window, and easily pressed their shoulders together as they admired the view. Steve knew nothing of the Bucky he saw through the cameras since he got here. Coiled anger and calmly uttered threats. It was new and disconcerting, even if Steve understood his anger at being imprisoned.

‘I think he’s going to keep his mouth shut just out of principle,’ Steve said then. Bucky was angry, so he was not going to give them anything important. Steve was pretty sure Natasha agreed, but she did not say anything. She seemed a lot less bothered by her first conversation with Bucky than Steve thought she would be. Maybe she thought she could get something out of him eventually. They didn’t have that much time though. This whole plan was stupid. Bucky could’ve been reasoned with, Steve was sure of that, but not like this.

‘Something needed to be done, you know that,’ said Maria, but Steve just shook his head.

‘Yeah, but this won’t get us anywhere,’ he said firmly. He was absolutely certain of that.

‘This is his chance to speak without Loki breathing down his neck,’ Maria said. ‘That’s what Natasha wanted, to give him this chance. Remind him of that, will you?’

This was his chance to come clean, was what Maria meant. He could tell them everything he knew, and then they would help him. A conditional offer of safety. It left a foul taste in Steve’s mouth, even if he knew that this was how things were usually done. And Bucky did not want to be rescued, he made that very clear the last time Steve spoke to him. He also did not appreciate being locked up for his own good, that should have been more than obvious to anyone. Yes, something needed to be done, but not this. Steve did not know what, but definitely not this.

Maria walked away just as Steve heard the door to Bucky’s room opening and closing.

‘How did it go?’ Steve asked carefully as Thor got close enough to him.

‘He was less hostile to me than I expected,’ Thor said. ‘But I might be just too used to my brother’s scalding words.’

‘Did he say anything about Loki?’ Steve asked. Thor thought about that for a moment.

‘Not in so many words,’ he said, then he looked around the corridor to make sure they were alone. ‘Do not take offence, my friend, but I find it encouraging that someone like your friend is hesitant to break Loki’s confidence. My brother is not usually someone who ignites loyalty in others.’

Steve wanted to point out that Thor was the living example of how untrue that was, but he kept the comment to himself for the time being.

‘What does that mean to you?’ Steve asked instead, but Thor was already shaking his head.

‘It is too early to say,’ Thor said.

‘But you think it’s encouraging,’ Steve said.

‘I think it means something important, but it would be foolish to assume when we know so very little.’

Well, it certainly meant something, but Steve had no idea what. Bucky was loyal, or used to be, whatever, it was one of the first words that popped into everyone’s mind when it came to him. Even the history books remembered him like that, even when they missed other important things about him.

‘My brother is a dangerous man,’ Thor continued. ‘Until we know more of his plans, we either trust that your friend is of sound mind and is a good judge of the situation, or we don’t.’

‘He doesn’t seem to be under anyone’s control,’ Steve said.

‘What I mean is that your friend’s been through a lot,’ Thor said. ‘And I just hope Loki has not taken advantage of that.’

Steve wanted to deny that immediately, because Bucky was not the sort of man others could take advantage of. But then again, who knew what state he was in after he vanished from DC.

‘He has not rested since he got here,’ Thor said then. Steve knew that very well, because he’s been awake just as long. ‘Maybe you should talk to him. Convince him that he is safe enough to sleep.’

‘I’ll try,’ Steve said as he pushed himself away from the wall, no more excuses. Thor nodded and left him alone.

Vision did not stand guard by the door any more, but Steve knew they were far from alone. He didn’t even know how many cameras were in the room exactly. Bucky was sitting on the low bed, probably because there was nowhere else to sit in the room, unless he wanted to get down on the floor.

‘Hey,’ Steve greeted quietly as he closed the door behind himself. Then he just stood there for a moment, a little awkwardly, waiting for something to tell him how to proceed, whether he should keep his distance or not, what to say. He felt off balance, and the crinkling of the paper bag in his hand sounded way too loud.

‘Hey,’ Bucky said in return, finally looking at him.

‘Maybe it doesn’t matter,’ Steve started, because the silence was worse than anything. ‘But I just wanted to tell you that I didn’t know about this...’ he gestured at the room. ‘Plan, if you wanna call it that. I know it doesn’t really change the current situation, but...’

‘I know,’ Bucky said. Steve waited for him to continue. ‘If you thought I needed to be locked up like this, you would’ve done it yourself.’

That was true, Steve knew it without a doubt. Given the chance, he wouldn’t allow anyone else to do it. Bucky sounded pretty neutral so far, but Steve decided to take it as a good sign and walked closer to him.

‘I brought you food,’ he said, holding up the paper bag. ‘I went to a store a few blocks away, so... y’know, nothing funny about it.’

Bucky raised his eyebrows.

‘I wasn’t worried about being drugged up until this moment,’ he said, but there was something light and eerily familiar in his tone. He was joking.

Steve huffed and sat down next to him, handing over the bag. Bucky opened it and started looking over the few things Steve brought. He started with an energy bar, tearing it open and taking a big bite. Steve loved those things too, they were sweet and helped to keep his stomach full, which wasn’t always easy with his metabolism. It was probably the same for Bucky. Steve bought cookie dough flavoured ones, that was his favourite. Bucky seemed to like it well enough, or he just did not care as long as it was food.

‘So what’s the deal with the dagger?’ he asked. ‘And don’t say poker, cause you hate playing poker.’

Bucky hummed as he crumpled the wrapper.

‘There’s really no story behind it. I needed something better than my Gerber knives.’

‘Huh. Thor thought it was a big deal that Loki allowed someone else to use it,’ Steve said. Bucky was silent as he searched the bag again for something. He picked out the chicken wrap. Steve wondered if he was pushing for answers too strongly when Bucky remained silent for a while.

‘Well...’ Bucky said after swallowing his first bite. ‘Maybe he just doesn’t care about material shit any more.’

‘What does he care about then?’ Steve asked.

‘Power,’ Bucky shrugged, like the answer should’ve been obvious. ‘Chaos.’

‘Chaos,’ Steve repeated, leaning back to the wall. He didn’t really like the sound of that.

Bucky chuckled. ‘You can’t be surprised by that, c’mon.’

‘Last time he wanted to rule Earth, so I get the power bit. It’s the chaos part that throws me.’

Bucky finished the wrap, crumpling that packaging too. He immediately went to search for something else in the bag.

‘It sounds worse than it is, I guess,’ Bucky said.

‘How can chaos sound good?’ Steve asked incredulously. To be honest, he was just glad Bucky seemed willing to talk to him. He didn’t really care what they talked about.

‘This is gonna be like me explaining the space between spaces,’ Bucky sighed. ‘It’s... for balance there must be chaos first. Or, no... that’s not how it goes.’

Bucky looked away with a little frown on his face, thinking about it for a moment.

‘Chaos is the perfect and highest form of order,’ he said then. ‘That’s what it was.’

‘Sounds a bit like an oxymoron,’ Steve said. Bucky gave him a crooked smile, he _always_ made that face when Steve used words he thought were big or fancy. The way Bucky’s lips curled sent a pang of nostalgia through him.

‘Think about how we ended up here, Steve,’ Bucky said then. ‘How the two of us are sitting on this bed, in this tower, after all this time... everything that happened. All the stupidly impossible random things that went down. I mean, what are the fucking chances, right? That when Hydra first captured me, my stupid pal got chosen for a secret military experiment, which didn’t fucking kill him, even though he was a ninety-pound asthmatic punk. What it took for you to get to me, to Europe first, then behind enemy lines, to get me out of there in time.’

Bucky’s voice went tense, but not hostile. It was pain Steve could hear with every uttered word, and he could basically feel the weight of their history settling down on them heavily, making both their shoulders hunch.

‘How are we sitting side-by-side more than seventy years after I fell from that fucking train?’

That memory stabbed Steve in the chest immediately, squeezed his insides painfully. He could still see it, if he closed his eyes, he could still remember the icy wind in his face, the sound of metal snapping... Bucky’s scream.

‘I fucking lived, only lost an arm, damn impossible. And you,’ he turned to look at Steve, but only for a moment. ‘You didn’t off yourself by diving into the Atlantic, and I ain’t even gonna talk about what a gigantic pile of bull that was, what you did there. It’s not the point right now.’

Steve had the urge to apologize, say the sort of “sorry” he always gave Bucky after fist-fights in back alleys. He was sorry Bucky was mad, worried, but he couldn’t be sorry about his own actions. It always made him feel guilty to say those kinds of apologies, because Bucky could tell that he didn’t really mean it.

‘So here we are. A hundred, a thousand random things led us here. Impossible things, chance... fucking chaos, but we are here... sitting right here. So it’s either a long line of random events... or we just meant to end up here.’

Steve would lie if he said he never thought about his life in such terms. How the serum gave him the strength, and the USO tour the chance, to save Bucky. That getting frozen for long decades made it possible for him to fight in the Chitauri invasion, how it meant that he was alive to be the one person on Earth to remind the Winter Soldier of who he really was.

‘That’s predestination, Buck, and you hated it when Father Garran talked about it,’ Steve reminded him. ‘You called it stupid shit, said that you were the only one who had any control over your life. You and maybe your Momma.’

‘Well, I ain’t that kid any more,’ Bucky said.

‘Still... that all sounds awfully religious,’ Steve said.

Bucky shrugged. ‘What do you expect from a god?’

And that stopped Steve short. ‘Loki’s no god,’ he said.

Bucky looked over at him, but his face was unreadable.

‘He’s strong and they live long, but he’s just an alien,’ Steve said.

There was a beat of silence before Bucky answered.

‘Okay,’ he said simply.

‘I mean it, Buck,’ Steve repeated. ‘He is not a god, no matter what’s coming out of his mouth.’

‘I said, okay,’ Bucky replied again and Steve really had no idea what to say. He should say more, but what?

He was still trying to figure out what exactly he was meant to do right now when he noticed the heavy way Bucky blinked.

‘You should sleep.’

‘I’m not in the habit of sleeping in enemy territory,’ he said in return.

‘This is not... you are not among enemies,’ Steve told him.

Bucky turned towards him then lifted a hand to gesture at the room at large.

‘Prison,’ he said, then pointed at himself. ‘Prisoner.’

Steve literally couldn’t argue with that reasoning.

‘I’ll stay here, how does that sound?’ he asked. ‘I’ll keep watch, and wake you up if anyone comes into the room, okay?’

He wasn’t sure whether his presence would be enough to make Bucky feel safe. Whether he trusted him enough for that. But after a few moments of hesitation Bucky nodded, and Steve felt lighter.

They were both silent as Bucky lay down, back to the wall, facing the door. Not exactly the picture of relaxation, but it was enough. Steve was tired too, but he just settled more comfortably by the wall. He would rest after Bucky slept, he had a lot to think about anyway.

* * *

Steve did plan to go to sleep immediately after he left Bucky’s room the next day, but he was intercepted by Natasha before he reached the elevator. Steve wasn’t sure how to act around her at the moment. He understood where she was coming from with this plan to separate Bucky from Loki, but he was still mad at her for going to Stark behind his back.

‘Well, Mr. Ruthless Assassin certainly turned cute and cuddly the second you walked in there,’ Stark said as soon as Natasha and Steve walked into the room. Only Barton, Maria and Thor were inside with him. Steve wondered where Sam was, but did not mind the absence of Vision and the Maximoffs.

Steve scowled at him, but it did not seem to bother Tony even a bit.

‘And he was so chatty too,’ he continued.

‘Your point?’ Steve asked.

‘My point is that you seem to be the only one with a real chance to get information out of him, and you just don’t bother asking important questions.’

‘I didn’t go in there to interrogate him,’ Steve said.

‘No, you’re just being a supportive friend.’

‘I ask again, what’s your point?’ Steve asked.

‘ _My point,_ Steve, is that you don’t have your priorities straight.’

‘You really wanna start throwing stones?’ Steve asked him, and he knew his voice dropped deeper as his face hardened. He and Tony butted heads, they always had, but things were more tense than usual. Maybe Steve should’ve made more of an effort to patch things up with him after Ultron. Maybe they should’ve sat down to sort their differences out, and let the past be in the past, but they didn’t. Steve didn’t try, and Tony sure as hell didn’t either. So here they were, past events casting shadows on their every word.

‘We found out who the woman is,’ Thor interrupted their staring contest.

‘Who? And where’s Sam? He would want to know,’ Steve said.

‘Sam’s asleep. He’s been up while you were in there with Barnes,’ Natasha replied. Okay, that explained his absence.

‘Her name is Sara Wolfe,’ Maria said.

‘So what’s so special about her?’ Stark asked. It looked like Maria waited for him before sharing her intel.

‘Nothing,’ Maria said as she walked closer to a screen in the room. The driver’s licence of a woman appeared on it. ‘She’s 32, Cheyenne, grew up in New Mexico, has a BA in Liberal Arts, and works as a social secretary. She was in the studio the N’Garai attacked to discuss an upcoming charity event. She’s single, no family in the city, and she has a bad habit of parking illegally.’

‘Why the hell was she chased by demons?’ Clint asked the obvious question.

‘And what does Loki want with her?’ Natasha asked. Steve could practically feel her eyes on him.

‘Yeah, that’s the sort of question I would have asked Barnes,’ Stark said. ‘Instead of philosophising about predestination and Loki’s art of chaos.’

Steve ignored him, it wasn’t easy, but he did. He kept his eyes on Maria.

‘Have you contacted her family yet?’

‘No. They apparently live in the Northern Cheyenne Reservation now,’ Maria said. ‘I didn’t want to inform them about her disappearance through the phone. I’ll head over to Montana today to ask some questions in person.’

‘Okay, so... do you think her... tribe will know something about what’s going on?’ Clint asked.

‘Even if they don’t, her family might be able to give us more information about her social life,’ Maria said. ‘Friends, acquiescences, anything that might connect her to this... whatever this is.’

‘They still have shamans, right?’ Clint asked. ‘Tribes, I mean.’

‘You think we should ask the shaman?’ Natasha asked in return. Clint just shrugged.

‘There are demons and magic stuff going on here, hell, they might actually know something about this. It can’t hurt to ask.’

‘Okay, that’s one lead,’ Stark nodded. ‘What are we going to do about the one-armed bandit?’

Steve had the urge to punch him, just a little, so he crossed his arms over his chest to fight off the urge.

‘Yes, he’s been rather sure my brother would come for him,’ Thor agreed. ‘We need to be prepared.’

‘You really think Loki’s going to just waltz in here with all of us here?’ Stark asked.

‘He doesn’t actually have to worry about doors,’ Natasha reminded him.

‘We could set a trap though,’ Clint said. ‘There’s gotta a be a way to stop him from opening a door like that. Hell, we could just knock him out or something.’

‘And we do have a perfect bait,’ Stark agreed.

‘Maybe we shouldn’t be on the offensive, not if they aren’t,’ Steve said.

‘It’s Loki, if he’s not on the offensive now, it’s because he doesn’t have everything set up for the perfect attack just yet,’ Stark said.

‘Thor?’ Steve looked over to the Asgardian. ‘You agree?’

‘My brother has given us no reason to assume otherwise,’ Thor said solemnly. ‘And forgive me, but I do not know how much we can trust your friend’s judgement.’

‘That is, not at all,’ Stark said.

‘Not completely,’ Natasha corrected him. ‘I can probably get a clearer picture of him and his motives with time, but he’s not easy to read at all, and we don’t actually know when Loki will show up.’

‘Better to prepare immediately then,’ Maria nodded.

Steve took a large breath, tried to get the tension out of his shoulders, but it didn’t work. So he turned to leave.

‘Steve,’ Natasha called after him.

‘I need sleep,’ he said sternly, not turning around.

* * *

Steve didn’t sleep. He wondered if he would be able to blame sleep deprivation later for what he was about to do. Probably not.

When Ultron took over Stark Tower and JARVIS was compromised, it fell on Steve to give the rest of the team an opening to get back inside. He was maybe not the best guy to handle complicated security systems monitored by an A.I., but he could follow instructions well enough. And he was the only one who could climb up about eighty floors without equipment in the vents, and still be battle ready when he got there.

He didn’t have to climb up eighty floor now, because he was already up in the top levels of the Tower. The opening was still an opening, and Steve still knew how to do it, even though this time he wanted to get out, instead of in. He was rather sure Tony kept the fail-safe in place despite the new A.I., because Tony Stark was many things, but stupid was not one of them. He would never allow and A.I of his to be compromised again, he would not make it impossible to shut it down, or blind it for a short time.

Bucky was on his feet, tense and alert, when Steve opened the door. He obviously noticed the change in his room.

‘C’mon,’ Steve nodded his head. Bucky didn’t ask questions, just followed. That trust, the lack of hesitation, it was almost enough to cancel out the guilt nagging at the back of his mind.

Bucky was silent as he followed Steve down the stairs, and then to the emergency elevator, which could only be accessed by their newly issued “Avengers Card”. Steve was surprised when Natasha gave him one a few weeks back, but not because he didn’t think he was part of the team, he just did not think Tony would want to give him one.

This elevator was faster than all others in the tower, and led to a small underground exit. It was one of the few places where one could leave the tower discreetly. Steve counted down in his head, so he knew that they still had time when he stepped out into the small alley next to a nearby parking lot. He clicked the door shut behind them and jogged over to the small bag he hid behind a container a few hours ago. He finally looked at Bucky again after he found it. He looked slightly confused, but focused.

‘I couldn’t get Loki’s dagger back,’ Steve said as he handed the bag over. ‘But I got your jacket, your SIG-Sauer, and your Derringer.’

‘What are you doing?’ Bucky asked him then, his voice quiet.

‘Probably something stupid,’ Steve said. ‘But it kinda feels like the right thing to do, so...’ He shrugged, he couldn’t explain it.

‘You didn’t have to do this. Loki will come for me,’ Bucky said. True, very true, but...

‘That’s not the point,’ Steve said. ‘It’s...’ he shook his head, not wanting to explain right now. They didn’t have time for that. ‘I know you’re good at vanishing, but you might wanna get going. You won’t get much of a head-start.’

‘Tell me why,’ Bucky insisted.

‘If you tell me if she’s safe,’ Steve countered. ‘Unharmed.’

‘Who?’

‘Sara Wolfe.’

‘She’s safe,’ Bucky said. ‘And unharmed.’

It was ridiculous, because Bucky literally just repeated Steve’s words, but Steve believed him.

‘Tell me,’ Bucky repeated then.

‘Because... because you’ve been a prisoner for seventy years,’ Steve said. ‘Because I don’t think you’d hurt anyone for your own gain. Because... you’re Bucky Barnes, and Bucky Barnes stands up for the little guy, and kicks bullies in their teeth, because... dammit...’

It was so hard to explain. He knew it exactly why he did this, it was like an absolute conviction in his heart, but he wasn’t sure he could put it into words.

‘Maybe I’m naïve and it’s just wishful thinking, but... yeah, it’s because I believe you.’

Bucky stared at him, brows just a little furrowed, his eyes taking in Steve’s face. Steve wasn’t sure what he was thinking about, but there was just enough familiarity in the look to convince Steve that he was standing in front of his friend, and not a dangerous stranger with his face.

‘So if it’s a ploy, you got me good, pal,’ Steve added, smiling a painful smile, because he didn’t want to consider that possibility. Bucky’s brows furrowed some more. Steve quickly looked around, because any moment now he expected to be surprised by an Avenger or two.

‘A ploy...’ Bucky repeated quietly. ‘You think I’d do that to you?’ he asked. Steve was silent, because he wasn’t sure dammit. One moment he was, a second later he questioned it, because it always depended on how much warmth and familiarity he saw in Bucky’s eyes. Or how much cold anger.

‘Look at me,’ Bucky asked, his voice was hard, but it was not an order. Steve turned his head back to look at his friend again. ‘You think I’d use you like that?’ he asked.

Steve stared at him for a long quiet moment. Yeah, this was a moment where he was sure.

‘No,’ he said.

‘No,’ Bucky repeated with a nod, then he stepped closer and wrapped him up in a fierce hug. Steve lifted his arms to pull him close in return, because damn, when was the last time? He didn’t remember, it was too long ago. Bucky’s long hair tickled his nose and his metal arm was cold from the night air, but Steve didn’t really give a damn. Best of all, the embrace didn’t feel like a goodbye.

Bucky’s next words were very quiet, but they were close enough for Steve to still hear him.

‘Do you have any idea how important you are to me?’ Bucky asked in a furious whisper. It was a tone Steve knew well. It was the kind of whisper he heard when he was too sick to get out of bed and Bucky threatened to be mad at him forever if he died on him. It was the sort of whisper Bucky used when Steve got home with yet another black eye and a loose tooth. The last time he heard it Bucky was mad because a building blew up around Steve, and the rest of the Commandos had no idea whether he made it out in one piece.

‘I hear you,’ Steve answered.

He didn’t know how, but he recognized the sound that preceded the opening portal and it startled him. Bucky kept him close, so Steve couldn’t turn to look and he didn’t want to question how. Bucky must’ve called Loki somehow.

‘If you’re in trouble,’ Steve said, tightening his arms around Bucky, really not wanting to let go of him. ‘Come find me. I’ll help.’

‘Okay.’

‘Promise me,’ Steve insisted.

‘I promise,’ Bucky said, so Steve nodded, but he still didn’t let go.

Bucky did pull back a little though, even if his arms were still around Steve. There was a strange shift in the air around them. That’s the only way Steve could describe it. Something changed as their foreheads brushed together, and Steve became aware of dozens of little things at the same time. How Bucky’s scent had a hint of metal and gun oil in it, but his hair smelled of something different, something sweeter. How Bucky’s shoulders were almost as wide as his, but he still felt smaller. How his metal arm was warming up from Steve’s body heat, how tightly his fingers were gripping at Steve. How they were breathing the same air.

Bucky’s lips brushed his cheek as he moved just a little further away. Before Steve could protest about him letting go, those same lips were right on his, and the world rearranged itself around him. That’s what it felt like. Someone grabbed hold of this corner of the universe and turned it inside out. Bucky’s lips were much warmer than the night air, soft and sure as they pressed tightly to his slightly parted ones. Steve was lost for a moment, his mind blank, his body motionless, then he pressed back, pushed forward just a little to slot their lips more firmly together. It was chaste, it was brief, but it felt like nothing made more sense than this.

Steve just stared and breathed heavily as Bucky backed away slightly.

‘Strange,’ Bucky said.

‘What?’ Steve blinked.

‘Strange,’ Bucky repeated. ‘The doctor. Find him. You’ll get some answers.’

Then he stepped back, ready to go. Steve didn’t understand, not really, but he nodded anyway as Bucky moved to walk past him.

‘I’ll be seeing you,’ he said very pointedly, catching Bucky’s hand. He finally caught sight of Loki and the portal behind him, his red eyes barely visible in the darkness.

Bucky smiled. ‘Yeah,’ he nodded and squeezed Steve’s hand before letting go. Steve turned to watch him go, but his eyes kept drifting to Loki, who was much closer to them now.

‘Maybe we should make this look a little less like you’re an accomplice, Captain,’ he said.

He had absolutely no idea why Loki gave a shit about that, but he shook his head anyway.

‘I made a decision,’ he said firmly. ‘I’ll live with the consequences.’

Loki scoffed. ‘How noble,’ he said.

‘Quit it,’ Bucky told him warningly.

‘It’s the truth,’ Loki said. ‘And I very much disagree.’

There was a brief moment of silence before anything happened. The last thing Steve heard was Bucky, who said ‘Don’t you dare,’ with a very angry tone. But then things went black, and he could only feel the cold pavement, then nothing.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

The second the portal closed Bucky wrapped his metal fingers around Loki’s neck and pushed him two steps backwards. The heels of Loki’s boots were just off the edge of the platform, his whole body leaning slightly above the dark abyss, just slightly off-balance. Loki grabbed hold of his metal arm with a gloved hand, but did not counter.

‘Don’t ever touch him again,’ Bucky gritted out.

Loki did not even look surprised, nor intimidated, but this was more a matter of principle anyway. Loki lifted an eyebrow.

‘Are you sure you are in any position to threaten me?’ he asked.

Bucky let the expression on his face answer that question, Loki knew him well enough by now.

‘Come now,’ Loki said as he moved slightly forward to get back from the edge. Bucky let him, cause he was really not in the mood for this to turn into something worse. He let go of his neck too.

‘Still chained to your bright golden hero?’ Loki mused with a smile. ‘You ought to free yourself while you still can.’

‘Cause that worked out so well for you?’ Bucky asked in return and he knew the comment hit its mark. Loki was too easy sometimes. He leaned closer, eyes darkening with anger, but Bucky never backed off from him, so he stayed firmly in place.

‘Be careful,’ Loki warned quietly. ‘Careless words can cause a lot of misery.’

Bucky waited a second, let the moment stretch out, leaving the words hanging between them.

‘Get out of my face,’ he said then calmly.

‘Or what?’ Loki reacted immediately. Fine, they were playing this stupid game then.

‘Don’t think I can’t get my hands on a weapon I can gut you with,’ Bucky told him. There was no real anger in his voice and really, it was a familiar song-and-dance. He was almost absolutely sure Loki just wanted to amuse himself.

‘You know you can’t threaten me with death,’ Loki said. True.

‘But it would hurt,’ Bucky told him. ‘A lot.’

Loki kept looking at him for another moment, but then just smiled, sharp and pleased. Freakin’ child.

‘Aw, there you go making me like you again.’

Bucky resisted the urge to roll his eyes, because then he would be stuck here trading insults with this guy for who knows how long.

‘Ugh, this again?’ they were interrupted, and that finally made Loki back the hell off. Bucky took a step back as well and glanced up at Loki’s stairs.

‘Hello, Leah,’ he greeted.

‘James,’ she nodded back. ‘I trust that you are well.’

Bucky shrugged. ‘M’fine, Stark Tower, not exactly a Nazi prison.’

She nodded again. She didn’t look either pleased or bothered, it was more an acknowledgement of his words. She always looked a bit like a dispassionate school girl. Simple green dress, knee length and long-sleeved, her black hair put up in a nice bun. Plus she looked like she was in her teens, course Bucky knew better than that. And not just because of her disturbing habit of using bird bones as hairpins.

‘How did it go?’ he asked.

‘She is well,’ Leah said. ‘Dropped down at the right doorstep.’

‘She was irritating,’ Loki grumbled.

‘No lady likes to be dragged about like a sack of potatoes, Loki,’ Leah told him, then turned back to Bucky. ‘But she calmed down once I assured her that we had no quarrel with the Sorcerer.’

‘Good,’ Bucky nodded with a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. ‘We needed a little victory.’

‘It’s hardly our first victory,’ Loki argued.

‘Two out of three is not a damn victory,’ Bucky said firmly. ‘That Kinmont girl got her fucking soul ripped out of her.’

This one was a sour issue for him, mostly cause he was the only one who still brought it up. Loki usually did not give a damn about random humans beyond their role in this, and Leah did not seem to give a damn about anyone in general. Bucky knew there was nothing to be done, and that it was not their mistake in the first place, but still. That was a real nasty thing to happen to a girl.

‘I’m inclined to agree,’ Leah said. ‘But there’s not much point crying over spilt... milk? Is that how they say it on Midgard?’

‘Got it in one,’ Bucky murmured. He kinda wished they were still just collecting artefacts and magical weapons and other crap like that. Killing Hydra assholes was almost a pleasure, and even fighting the N’Garai was not too much bother. But he didn’t like the weight of people’s lives on his shoulders and their safety in his hands, especially considering how little Loki cared about anything but the bigger picture. He didn’t see people, he saw pieces on the board. Bucky sometimes wished he couldn’t see the individuals either. It would be easier.

‘Anyway,’ Leah shook her head. The topic was done then. ‘Welcome back. Loki, I need to speak with you.’

Bucky didn’t stick around a second longer, just headed towards his stairs. Leah rarely had anything to say to him, sometimes he didn’t see her for a long time. When she had information she gave it to them. What she and Loki talked about in person mattered very little to Bucky. She was not around for his sake anyway. He wasn’t sure she was around for Loki’s sake either to be perfectly honest.

Only when he was walking down the stairs did he notice the lights dancing around, light blue and green, stretching above him in long lines. It reminded him of northern lights in Siberia. Not the best place to be reminded of, but it was still better than complete darkness.

He undressed, cleaned up, and re-dressed into something slightly more comfortable with his usual prompt routine. He still couldn’t re-learn to enjoy something that was an everyday necessity, like a hot shower or a meal. That was also the reason why he had one nondescript room while Loki’s section could be easily called a palace. He only every saw a room or two, not the whole thing, and he very wisely did not try to guess what real place inspired all the golden decoration. Just cause Loki was easy to piss off, it didn’t make it a smart thing to do.

Next on his post-mission routine was cleaning his guns... but he didn’t feel like it. It was still not easy to give in to such faint little ideas about his wants and needs, but right now he wanted to make a point of giving in. So he put his guns down on the desk, then walked over to the bed to lie down. There, he changed up the routine. He will clean his guns... later. Somewhere in the undefined future. It actually felt pretty good. He’s been very... impulsive today. It filled him both with pleasure and unease.

He’s been very strict with his routine, the small rules that helped keep the world make sense. Because even if his mind was protected form the worst of his memories, he still rarely felt fully human. If there were no memories to bother him, his mind came up with other things to torture him with. The routine helped. The routine was reality, his life, his current life, very different from the one he lived before. He set up the routine himself, they were _his_ rules, a crutch maybe, but his crutch, and he used it because he wanted to, not because anyone made him do it. He’s been throwing off the routine since Serbia... no before that, since Delaware. He simply knew that the moment they left those security footages untouched things were going to change.

It wasn’t like he never planned to see Steve again, he just never felt like he was ready for it. Hell, he probably still wasn’t... so yeah... impulsive. That wasn’t bad. Didn’t have to be bad. Of course there were all the secrets and half-truths between them. There was too much distance and too many questions. There was Steve’s confused frown and the pain in his blue eyes. Sometimes he still thought that he should’ve argued more with Loki about leaving the footage behind for the Avengers (Steve). It was done in preparation for the assault on the base in Serbia, but using someone without them knowing about it, let alone Steve, just didn’t sit well with him. But in the end, he did want Steve to be closer, to be more than just a dot on the map, a distant knowledge of where to find him. He wanted him to be the one to come for him.

He also wanted to keep him the fuck away from all this, but that ship already sailed. There was no way anyone could keep Steve Rogers, the patron saint of stubborn punks, away. Of course he couldn’t just tell him everything either, no, that would have made his life way too easy, he never had that much luck. He was left with leaving crumbs of information behind and hoping for the best. He knew he could trust Steve, but the rest of that colourful group of annoying assholes? Not so much. Loki thought even Steve was too big a risk, but screw him. If he could tell whether or not Thor checked out, then Bucky could damn well tell whether Steve was safe or not.

Bucky moved around on the bed, tried to get more comfortable. He grabbed a pillow and stuffed it under his head. He could just see the lights outside at the edge of his vision this way. He still wasn’t really comfortable, but he never really was.

Except the last time he slept... Most of the time he slept the bare minimum, which wasn’t much, cause he could go on for days if needed. But with Steve there, he simply fell asleep. He slept safe and sound, like he thought only the stupid kid he used to be could. He woke up feeling less jagged around the edges, less sharp and hard and angular. More stupid, maybe, but he didn’t regret it. He struggled with words... sometimes, about certain things, himself mostly. And he doubted the right words actually existed, so yeah, no regrets. Maybe it was inevitable. Steve was the only thing he have not lost... or well, he did lose him. He lost him for a very long time, along with himself. Steve just found him again, found him under decades of violence and countless wipes. When Steve was gone, he was gone... dead... deleted. And when he returned... now sometimes he felt human again.

It made him want to never be apart. And he actually thought Steve wouldn’t mind that. He did not pull away, did not tense up, he leaned closer. He allowed that intimate point of contact. He reached out and grabbed him, not wanting him to leave without a promise of next time. Maybe he did not want to be apart either. Maybe he also thought there would be no Bucky if he wasn’t around. Like, he only existed if Steve looked at him and said his name. There was something like this about a cat and a sealed box and existence, but Bucky couldn’t remember clearly.

Clearly, all this time with Loki made him waste his thoughts uselessly. Or maybe his mind used to spin around in circles all his life, he just didn’t remember enough to know it yet. Maybe his head only became a quiet place after the fall, maybe now it was always going to be filled with nonsense. And Steve. Missions, nonsense, and Steve. The thought made him snort out loud, a laugh tingling the corners of his mouth.

It didn’t sound so bad. Not bad at all.

* * *

Loki knocked on his door before he barged in, which was a miracle in itself. Bucky sat up in his bed. He and Loki worked just fine together, but he was not the sort of guy Bucky wanted to have a conversation with while lying on his bed. It felt too casual.

Loki was pristinely dressed, like always, still wearing his gloves as well. It was the skin of course. He was getting used to it, but he still covered every inch he could. It helped that the gloves damped down on the frost, kept the cold at bay. It would be pretty inconvenient if everything he touched froze solid. Well, they couldn’t turn his eyes back to green or his skin to pale and smooth, but functionality had to come before aesthetics, and personal comfort just had no place at all.

‘You lost my dagger,’ Loki said as soon as the door closed behind him.

‘Yeah, it got stuck in Iron Man’s armour,’ Bucky answered, it made Loki smile. Of course it did. Then he tossed something at Bucky, and he caught it without problem. A new blade, different from the one before. A lot less golden, which Bucky appreciated a lot, cause he hated how easily one could spot the previous one even from afar.

This blade was truly a knife and not a dagger. It was as long as his Gerber Mark II knife, a pretty sweet six and a half inches long one edged clip-point blade, with the back edge sharpened. The handle felt like bone, but it was black, and of course finely decorated. The tang was nondescript, but long enough to rest just outside of his palm, easily used as a blunt weapon. It fit him a lot better than the golden dagger.

Bucky stood up as he turned it around in his hand a few times, testing the balance, the shape of the handle, and how it fit in his grip. Of course it was perfect, Loki didn’t bother owning anything less.

‘Nice,’ he nodded after tossing it up in the air and catching it again with ease.

‘Try not to lose this one as well,’ Loki said.

‘I make no promises,’ Bucky said. But he planned on holding onto this one much more carefully. It would probably fit nicely in his bigger secure-ex sheath.

He knew this was not the only reason Loki dropped by though.

‘Leah’s got something for us?’ he asked.

‘No. Now is the time to wait for our enemies to make the next move,’ Loki said. Bucky made a face.

‘That never works out well,’ he said.

‘Believe me, I would much rather take initiative as well, but unless you have an army to invade the Other-Realm with, I don’t see how much else we can do.’

Bucky just grunted, because he knew this already.

‘An army wouldn’t do us much good,’ he said then, still twirling the blade, then switching it over to his metal hand. ‘I’m pretty sure we would both fail miserably at leading entire armies.’

‘I’ve led an army before.’

Bucky snorted. ‘My point stands,’ he said and he knew Loki was both insulted and amused, best combination. ‘You work best alone, or with very little people to watch out for. And me? Give me a squad, and I’ll get things done, alone if I have to. I’m as good as it gets when it comes to an NCO, but hell if I know how to be a general.’

‘This is a pointless discussion, since we do not have an army.’

‘I could do with a squad though,’ Bucky shrugged.

‘How would that make a difference? More bodies to drag out of harm’s way when things go wrong.’

Bucky put his new blade down on his desk next to his guns, then he turned back to look at Loki.

‘You had an army, Steve had a squad, and he sure as hell kicked your ass back to where it came from.’

He was a bit harsh, but alien invasion in New York, so fuck Loki very much.

‘The Avengers had Thor and the Hulk, your precious Captain hardly made a difference.’

Bucky actually huffed out a small laugh. ‘I know you’re smarter than that,’ he said. ‘Brute strength ain’t worth shit without someone to direct it, utilize it, lead it where it needs to go. You know what, you have no military experience, so I’m not going to waste my breath trying to explain this.’

‘I am a prince,’ Loki declared, with the sort of arrogance a declaration like that usually entailed.

‘And I am less and less impressed by that,’ Bucky said in return, because he was indeed very very unimpressed. ‘You and me, we ain’t leaders, but we’re good at getting shit done. That’s why we’re here anyway.’

‘We’re here for very different reasons,’ Loki commented. ‘Albeit equally selfish ones.’

Bucky shrugged, it was not a lie.

‘That’s why you keep sharing so much with your Captain?’ Loki asked then. ‘Because he’s still the one you wish to follow to battle?’

‘No, I tell him things, cause he ain’t gonna leave this alone, so he might as well make himself useful. If I don’t tell him shit, he’s going to charge in without even knowing who’s friend or foe. And I told him almost nothing, what’s the big deal? They were going to know about the Sorcerer Supreme anyway.’

‘Uh, “Sorcerer Supreme”, such a pretentious title to hold,’ Loki remarked. Bucky raised both of his eyebrows.

‘Really, Mr. Almighty God of Mischief? Son of Secrets and Lord of all Liars. _You_ think “Sorcerer Supreme” is pretentious?’

Loki gave him a mean look, which just amused Bucky further.

‘I simply did not want the Avengers and the Sorcerer to be that involved with one another,’ Loki explained.

‘I’m pretty sure Strange is more likely to work with them, than work with us anyway.’

‘Yes, and I just don’t think it will be to our advantage if he decides to help out his new friends by coming up against us.’

‘I think he knows better than that,’ Bucky said. They’ve never come face-to-face with Strange yet, but the Sorcerer had to know about what was going on, especially after what happened with Casey Kinmont. Fucking demons.

‘So what are you really worried about?’ Bucky asked, because it was not Strange and the Avengers.

‘The N’Garai have been less than successful. And I am most certainly not the only one who might’ve noticed that.’

‘You think they’re gonna change tracks?’ Bucky asked. ‘Well, I guess they do say that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity.’

‘Ha, unfortunately their insanity comes with some semblance of intelligence.’

‘So that’s why we’re waiting. We need to know who or what is going to replace the N’Garai.’

‘Or join them, you never know.’

‘Fucking great,’ Bucky grumbled. This wasn’t gonna end well. ‘That’s why I said I would be more happy with a squad.’

‘You just want your Captain to join you,’ Loki said. ‘But having some righteous hero on your side won’t make your chances better, no matter what child’s tales tell you.’

Bucky shook his head. This was ridiculous.

‘If you think that’s why I want him here, you don’t know a damn thing about Steve Rogers.’

‘Your affections for him are hardly a better reason.’

‘That’s not what I meant,’ Bucky told him firmly. Loki was really heading towards thin ice now, probably without realizing. Or he knew damn well and just wanted to annoy the heck out of Bucky.

‘Oh, please spare me your great odes about the wondrous and noble Captain America.’

‘I’m not talking about Captain America, you theatrical dickhead,’ Bucky cut him off. ‘I’m talking about Steve Rogers.’

Loki raised an unimpressed eyebrow, so Bucky continued.

‘Captain America is an idol, an icon, it’s fucking propaganda. Steve plays the role, but that ain’t him.’

‘What is he then?’ Loki asked. ‘He’s still the great hero beneath the mask, is he not? Or are you calling him a deceiver?’

Bucky was getting frustrated. He heard the servo in his arm whirring a bit, that sound always made Loki smirk.

‘I’m calling him a stubborn punk with a too big mouth and a bad tendency of not running away from fights,’ Bucky said. ‘Sure he’s got a pretty fail-safe moral compass and a frankly irritating amount of righteous fury, but that doesn’t stop him from being that same punk-ass kid he’s always been. But hey, you just ate up the boy scout persona and the all-American smile, like almost everyone else.’

Loki was insulted again, good.

‘Captain America makes speeches, you know, inspires soldiers to fight and all that crap. Being the perfect idol, good soldier fighting the good fight for the country,’ Bucky shook his head again, he wasn’t really talking to Loki any more. He was just on a roll, it felt good to talk about something else, something other than demons and girls getting their souls ripped out, something good.

‘But Steve. Hell, he does what he wants,’ Bucky said simply. Steve did what he thought was right, what needed to be done. ‘Screw rules and politics. Screw orders and obeying them if they’re wrong. Screw anyone who’s stupid enough to think they can stop him or change his mind. He’s the sort of idiot that can’t stop being a sarcastic shit even when he was punched in the teeth for it just a second earlier.’

He fell silent then, abruptly. He was no longer in the habit of talking this much at once. Well, it happened with Steve not that long ago. Huh, maybe he was the sort of guy who talked this much.

‘Your adoration of him is truly remarkable,’ Loki remarked dryly.

‘And fuck you too,’ Bucky replied easily. It was not worth getting angry over. Loki was an asshole. He should clean his guns now. So he walked back to the desk to start doing just that.

‘However,’ Loki continued. ‘I concede, that my information regarding him was not accurate. I suppose even SHIELD looked at him through the veil of nostalgia and hero-worship.’

‘Probably,’ Bucky agreed as he started arranging things on the desk. ‘Nobody was around who actually knew him.’

‘I will have to trust your knowledge on this matter,’ Loki said then. ‘Well, and make some observations myself.’

‘Observe away, if it makes you happy,’ Bucky shrugged, then sat down to his desk. He saw that Loki turned to leave from the corner of his eye. ‘Remember what I told you,’ he added in a much darker tone.

‘Yes,’ Loki chuckled. ‘Not a single golden hair on his head. You were very clear.’

Loki sounded like he was just humouring him, but Bucky didn’t take the bait. Loki liked pushing his buttons, but he never stepped over a line. He would one day, probably... most likely, but there was no point worrying about it just yet.

Loki left without a word and Bucky didn’t say anything either as the door closed. He started taking apart his SIG to clean it, his movements were precise, methodical. It actually relaxed him a bit. And his head was filled with only missions, nonsense, and Steve.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Leah and Schrödinger's Bucky!
> 
> You can read up about [Sara Wolfe](http://marvel.wikia.com/Sara_Wolfe), [Casey Kinmont](http://marvel.wikia.com/Casey_Kinmont_\(Earth-616\)) and [Leah of Hel](http://marvel.wikia.com/Leah_\(Earth-616\)) on Marvel Wiki, but everything about them that I find important (in relation to this story) will be included and explained in later chapters. So don’t worry, you don’t need to do homework and read up on marvel comics characters to understand what’s going on. Consider it a small trivia that they are not OCs.


	15. Chapter 15

The illusion of privacy at Stark Tower always bothered Sam a bit. There was no such thing as being truly alone in this building. He was not a loner sort of guy, but most of the time he still didn’t really like it. Right now though, with nothing but the sound of Steve’s breathing filling the room, he would’ve appreciated some company. Not the invisible kind.

He was concerned about Steve being asleep this long, but he kind of also dreaded the moment he woke up. There were a lot of unhappy people in the tower right now, so he could already picture the upcoming shitstorm. Sure, how bad it was gonna be depended on Steve’s answers, but oh man, he knew it was gonna end like this. And he was not the only one who was unsurprised. Natasha sure as hell looked like she expected this to happen. Thor was suspiciously nonchalant too. He was kinda glad Maria left before any of this went down. Because that woman’s death glare was a thing to behold for sure.

There was a knock on the door and Sam turned around in the sitting chair.

‘Come on it,’ he called out. He didn’t bother keeping his voice down. They literally couldn’t wake up Cap for the last 17 hours, no matter what they tried. Stark blared loud music, and Clint even poured ice-cold water on his head. Nothing. They all balked at using meds for now... the adrenaline was only going to come out after they passed the 24 hour mark.

Bruce popped his head in.

‘May I come in?’ he asked. Sam grinned and stood up.

‘Man, Bruce, when did you get back?’ he asked as he shook his hand. And then pulled him into a short hug just for the hell of it.

‘Just now,’ Bruce said. ‘I’m so jet lagged, you have no idea. Natasha called me.’

‘Steve didn’t want to bother you,’ Sam told him. Bruce wanted to be left alone unless it was an absolute emergency. Steve didn’t think this was an emergency just yet.

‘Yes, I heard about Steve disagreeing about a lot of things,’ Bruce answered, then he finally looked at the bed where Steve slept peacefully. HELEN was constantly monitoring him. He was in and out of REM stage, pulse and breathing all nice and calm. Okay, so he was more in REM stage than normal, but he was physically still fine.

Bruce walked closer to the bed, so Sam did too.

‘So, I heard bits and pieces form the others,’ Bruce said. ‘But you’ve been around Steve more than them. How is he really? Not now, in general.’

Sam sighed and walked back to the other side of the room to sit back down in his chair. Bruce took the other armchair.

‘Not bad, but... he had some real shitty days even before Barnes showed up again,’ Sam answered honestly. ‘Don’t know about sleep or nightmares, but he pushed himself with training he doesn’t need a lot. Gone real quiet too occasionally.’

‘Never a good sign with him,’ Bruce remarked. Understatement.

‘So now... I guess he’s been better, since this started, but this whole mess is complicated. And maybe Natasha thinks he’s not a good liar, but I’ve been impressed with the poker face lately.’

Bruce nodded a few times, then looked over to Steve again.

‘So James Barnes... heard about him too... quite colourful things from Clint and Tony, but...’

‘Oh, yeah there were weapons, stab wounds, and nasty bruises involved,’ Sam said.

‘Your thoughts on him?’ Bruce asked.

‘I don’t know, he did string me up like a kite again, made me hit a rooftop. Not sure I’m that unbiased.’

‘It’s one of the things you’re good at,’ Bruce smiled. Sam wasn’t so sure. He was worried, and not just about Steve, that made it hard to judge Barnes objectively. But he could make an honest effort, so he started talking.

* * *

They’ve been talking for a while, an hour or so maybe, when they were interrupted by a groan. Steve was waking up, finally seesh.

He was blinking up at the ceiling and frowning deeply when they walked over to him. He didn’t notice them at first, just kept blinking, his gaze was far away. Then he reached up to rub at his eyes.

‘Hey, Steve,’ Sam greeted him. That finally made him look over to them, but the frown was still perfectly in place.

‘What... Bruce... I... huh?’

Oh, this did not start so well.

‘I just got here,’ Bruce told him. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Uhm... hungry?’ Steve said.

‘You’ve been out about 18 hours, probably more,’ Sam told him. ‘We don’t know how long you’ve been unconscious when we found you.’

‘Found me?’ Steve asked.

‘Yeah, passed out in an alley,’ Sam nodded. ‘No head-wound... or any wound really.’

‘What happened?’ he asked.

‘I was really hoping you could tell us that,’ Sam said.

‘Can you recall anything about what happened before you lost consciousness?’ Bruce asked. ‘Or in the hour before that?’

Steve frowned and looked away. His eyes were still kind of blurry.

‘Loki,’ he said then.

‘Yeah, we figured as much,’ Sam said. ‘With Barnes being gone and all.’

Steve looked at them again for a moment, then away.

‘Steve, you seem a little out of it,’ Bruce said. ‘Is there anything wrong? Can you tell me if you’re feeling strange?’

‘Strange,’ Steve repeated with an odd tone.

‘Cap, man, you are worrying me,’ Sam said. ‘We should look at your head.’

‘I think that’s a good idea,’ Bruce nodded.

‘No, I’ve... I’ve got a lead,’ Steve said and moved to get up, pushing the covers aside.

‘Whoa, easy big guy, sure you’re feeling okay?’ Sam asked as Steve got to his feet.

‘I’m fine, just hungry. I’ve got a lead... let’s go.’

He had his stubborn face on, so Sam and Bruce let him pass without further arguing. They did follow him closely as Steve headed straight to the elevator. He didn’t even bother with shoes.

‘Where are the others?’ he asked as he pushed the call button.

‘ _I have notified everyone that you are awake_ ,’ HELEN said. ‘ _They will gather in the conference room on the 80_ _th_ _floor._ ’

‘Okay, we’ll be right there,’ Steve said.

‘Don’t wanna grab a bite before we go?’ Sam asked.

‘I’ll eat later, I won’t fall over,’ Steve shrugged. Still with the stubborn tone, so Sam didn’t push it. Steve was a grown-ass man and Sam was not his damn nanny. They were all silent on the short elevator ride, but Sam shared a long look with Bruce behind Steve’s back.

Tony was standing on the other side of the elevator when the doors opened, looking serious like a heart-attack.

‘Hello, Sleeping Beauty,’ he greeted. ‘Having any treacherous urges at the moment?’

‘Tony,’ Bruce chided.

‘No, I have questions, important questions I need answers to,’ Stark insisted.

‘And I have information,’ Steve said. ‘That takes priority.’

He stepped out of the elevator and started walking towards the conference room, walking past Tony without a glance in his direction. Seriously, was Steve deliberately trying to piss him off more? Sometimes it really looked like it.

Everyone was just filling in the conference room, except for Thor. HELEN answered before Steve could ask.

‘ _Thor will be here in a few minutes, he’s on a coffee run_ ,’ she reported.

‘It is good to see you awake,’ Vision said as they all got inside.

‘Yeah, it was freaky,’ Pietro added. ‘You were knocked out real bad, had us worried.’

‘Uh... sorry,’ Steve said, seemingly a little thrown by the concern. Sam shook his head a little. Only Steve would be still surprised by others actually giving a crap about him.

‘HELEN said you have some information,’ Natasha said, her tone even.

‘No, hold on people, we’ve got a much bigger issue here,’ Tony interrupted. ‘Or have we forgotten about the escaped assassin?’

‘We all knew Loki was going to take him,’ Wanda shrugged. ‘It was inevitable from how I see it.’

‘That’s not the point,’ Tony said. ‘I’m more worried about how exactly he left. Because there are two possible scenarios here. Either Cap let him walk, in which case he’s compromised... or Loki made him do it, and that makes him, surprise, just as compromised. I don’t even know which one is worse.’

‘Feeling any villainous assholes in your head, Cap?’ asked Clint.

Steve was silent for a moment, then Sam saw him square his shoulders.

‘I have information,’ he repeated.

‘Come on!’ Stark exclaimed. ‘We can’t just ignore this.’ Then he turned back to look at Steve. ‘And if it would be anyone else, you would be demanding answers. So why are you giving yourself a free pass?’

‘I’m not,’ Steve said. ‘I’m... look, if you don’t wanna hear what I have to say, then I’ll go after this lead myself.’

Natasha snorted. ‘How about no?’ she asked. ‘What have you got?’

Tony sent her a look, but Natasha just kept her eyes on Steve. Waiting. Clint sighed, but he uncrossed his arms and leaned forward in his chair. Everyone else started to settle down to listen to Steve. Sam always found it amusing how most people, especially the media, thought that it was either Steve or Tony in charge. It was true, for the most part, but any time those two started disagreeing everyone just looked at Natasha to make a decision. Sam didn’t doubt for a second, that had Natasha pressed Steve for a different sort of answer, this conversation would go very differently.

But Natasha didn’t seem to care about how compromised Steve was. She was not surprised when they realized Barnes was gone, not even when they noticed Steve was nowhere to be found either. Well, Sam’s been expecting Steve to do something stupid from the moment Barnes got put in that room, so Natasha had to know something would happen too. Oh, she would be keeping her eye on Steve for sure, but she wanted the intel first.

Stark was silently fuming about this, but nobody else objected. Sam decided to sit down and Bruce followed his example. The air was tense and it was hard not to fidget. Usually at the start of these meetings they were joking around and throwing insults at one another. It was very weird for them to be this silent and almost official.

After a moment Steve decided to sit down too. Thor walked inside a moment later, with two big paper cups of coffee in his hand. He looked around the silent room with a frown.

‘What has happened?’ he asked.

‘You didn’t miss anything,’ Pietro said, while Clint was making grabby hands at Thor until the big man handed over one of the cups.

‘So what’s the lead?’ Wanda asked.

‘A doctor,’ Steve said. ‘Bucky said he would be able to answer our questions.’

‘This might come as a surprise,’ Stark chimed in. ‘But there are a lot of doctors in the world.’

The way Steve ignored him was downright aggressive.

‘He said “Strange. The Doctor”,’ Steve said.

‘Doctor Strange?’ asked Natasha and Clint in perfect unison.

‘I was hoping you would have some idea who he was talking about,’ Steve said.

‘Who’s Doctor Strange?’ Sam asked, and he didn’t seem to be the only one without a clue.

‘Dr. Stephen Strange,’ Natasha said. ‘He was on SHIELD’s threat list. Well, Hydra’s too in retrospect.’

‘Who is he?’ Wanda asked.

‘Officially? Neurosurgeon... or he used to be. Very successful one at that.’

‘Rich, arrogant, big ego, and a bit of an asshole,’ Clint added helpfully.

‘O-okay, so what made SHIELD think he was a potential threat?’ Tony asked.

‘And where do we find this man?’ asked Thor.

‘That’s where it gets tricky,’ Natasha sighed. ‘A little over two years ago he lost everything. He was in a serious car accident. Police report said he lost control of the vehicle.’

‘Why did SHIELD look into the accident of a surgeon?’ Pietro asked. ‘I mean, it was a car accident, not...’ he shrugged and made a vague gesture at Bruce.

‘We didn’t. We pieced the backstory together after he became interesting,’ Clint said.

‘He suffered some serious injuries in the crash, the nerves in his hands were severely damaged,’ Natasha continued. ‘His career was over, so he literally spent his entire wealth on specialists and surgeries. But no luck, the damage couldn’t be undone. After he sold his penthouse he rented a small apartment over in Hell’s Kitchen. That’s his last known address.’

Wanda frowned and took her phone out.

‘Where in Hell’s Kitchen exactly?’ she asked.

‘HELEN, check Strange’s SHIELD record,’ Natasha instructed.

‘ _Doctor Strange’s last known address was on the 535 West 45_ _th_ _Street_ ,’ HELEN reported.

‘The building the N’Garai first circled was Sara Wolfe’s building,’ Wanda said, turning her phone around to show everyone the map she was looking at. ‘531, right across the street.’

‘Anyone dares to call this a coincidence?’ Stark asked. ‘HELEN, call Hill, we might have more questions to Miss Wolfe’s parents. Let’s hope she’s still at the Reservation.’

‘So what happened to Strange then?’ Steve asked.

‘He couldn’t afford the rent and was tossed out on the streets,’ Clint said. ‘Then he vanished, assumed dead.’

‘And what happened really?’ Bruce prompted.

‘We believe he travelled to Asia,’ Natasha said. ‘Somewhere to Tibet or nearby, but SHIELD couldn’t find anything concrete.’

‘I’m still not getting what’s so special about the guy,’ Stark said.

‘There was... call it an epidemic, it started shortly before Strange’s accident,’ Natasha continued. ‘But got more and more severe. Children were falling into coma for no reason. No sign of illness, no brain damage, they just wouldn’t wake up. And the numbers kept increasing, so SHIELD got involved. Some of our top doctors and scientists worked on it, but nothing.’

‘I don’t remember reading this in the news,’ Steve said.

‘The whole thing looked unnatural, so SHIELD kept it under wraps,’ Natasha said.

‘Tell me this story doesn’t end with dead children,’ Pietro said, looking pained just having to think about it. Yeah, Sam knew exactly how he felt.

‘Surprisingly, it doesn’t,’ Natasha said. ‘They all woke up on the same night. A little grumpy and exhausted, but fine. They all complained about nightmares, but that’s all.’

‘How does Strange come into all this?’ Steve asked.

‘He was spotted at one of the hospitals just before the kids woke up,’ Natasha said. ‘Some nurses recognized him. Nobody talked to him, or knew why he was there. He was spotted, then he was gone.’

‘Once SHIELD knew whom to search for they went over everything that happened that night in the city,’ Clint continued. ‘Especially around the hospitals the kids were in. And guess who was seen on CCTV footages over and over again.’

‘And not just that,’ Natasha took over. ‘There were inexplicable weather phenomena that night, damaged cars, broken windows, electrical failures, but never affecting more than just a street or two at a time. One park looked like a hurricane went over it, but everything else around it was untouched. Trust me, there was a lot of weird to look into, and with Strange right in the middle.’

‘Then he was gone again,’ Clint said. ‘He was spotted in New York a few times, but SHIELD never actually managed to ask him questions. He’s good at disappearing.’

‘ _Agent Hill is on the line_ ,’ HELEN interrupted.

‘Patch her through,’ Tony told the AI.

‘ _I hope you got something for me, because this here so far is a bust_ ,’ Hill said. ‘ _And talking to the shaman was definitely a bad idea... or he’s just a really good actor._ ’

‘We believe Sara Wolfe might be connected to Dr. Stephen Strange. Remember him?’ Natasha asked.

‘ _Sure do_ ,’ Hill said. ‘ _I’m still wondering how some doctor can be as slippery as he is._ ’

‘Well, Barnes dropped the hint before his escape,’ Natasha said.

There was a loud sigh from Maria on the other side.

‘ _All this time we were trying to figure out what secret experiments he might’ve been involved with, and now you’re telling me he’s dabbling into magic instead?_ ’

‘You don’t know how glad it makes to have someone to share my endless dislike for magic with,’ Tony said.

‘We need you to ask Sara’s parents about him,’ Sam spoke, trying to keep them on track.

‘ _Yeah, give me a sec. I’ll put you on speaker once I’m inside again_ ,’ Maria said. Sam could here a door opening and closing on the other end of the line.

Natasha quickly signed for Clint what he didn’t catch in the phone conversation so far, but Sam was pretty sure they were discussing something else as well. They still waited for Maria to start talking again, so Sam leaned closer to Steve.

‘Sure you don’t want to get some food in you, Cap?’ he asked. ‘I’m being a mother hen, man, but you look real under the weather.’

Steve rubbed his face, but shook his head. Sam wondered how someone who slept for about eighteen hours could look so tired.

‘Are you well, Captain Rogers?’ Vision asked. ‘You’ve gone pale.’ Okay, so Sam was not paranoid, Steve did look worse.

‘Did the kids... did you ask them about the nightmare?’

Natasha shared a look with Clint, but before anyone could answer Maria was back on the line.

‘ _So, we have a few of my colleagues on the phone, so if you could repeat what you just told me._ ’

‘ _Yes... uh, hello?_ ’ a woman spoke. ‘ _My name is Elina Wolfe, I’m Sara’s mother_.’

‘Hello Mrs. Wolfe, you’re speaking with... basically all the Avengers,’ Natasha greeted her politely. ‘About Stephen Strange.’

‘ _Oh, yes. Stephen_ ,’ she said. ‘ _He’s... I’m not supposed to talk about this. Sara made us promise._ ’

‘Sara has been taken, Mrs. Wolfe,’ Sam spoke. ‘My name is Sam, Sam Wilson. She was taken through a portal, by someone we... don’t trust. Knowing more about Doctor Strange and where he is could help us find her.’

‘ _Look, Mr. Wilson-_ -’

‘Sam. Just call me, Sam, ma’am.’

‘ _Look, Sam. Stephen was not always a kind person, but he would never put Sara in danger, never. He is a great man who has done a great many things. People who think he deserved any of what has happened to him are plain vile. I mean, so much tragedy. He was a doctor, he’s been saving lives, even if he was unpleasant to people sometimes--_ ’

‘It was probably not Doctor Strange who got her in trouble,’ Steve interrupted her, his voice was kind and patient. ‘This is Steve Rogers, ma’am, and a friend of mine is also involved in whatever happened to Sara. And I do think Sara’s unharmed, and it looks like you trust Doctor Strange to look our for her too, but... if you know anything about where Strange is... or what he’s currently doing.’

‘ _Elina, call him,_ ’ a male voice interrupted.

‘ _Mr. Wolfe, do you have a way of contacting Doctor Strange?_ ’ Maria asked.

There were some quiet words exchanged between the couple, definitely not in English.

‘ _Sara’s safe,_ ’ Mr. Wolfe said then firmly. ‘ _We know she is_.’

‘How? Did she contact you?’ Natasha asked.

‘ _Call the number, Elina, these are the Avengers for crying out loud!_ ’

‘ _Fine_ ,’ Mrs Wolfe relented, but she did not sound happy about it.

‘ _She’s dialling_ ,’ Maria told them. ‘ _Put that phone on speaker too_.’

‘ _Hello?_ ’ a male voice answered after the phone rang three times. It was pretty hard to hear him, which was no wonder considering they had two phones on speaker.

‘ _This is Elina. I need to speak to my daughter_ ,’ Mrs Wolfe said.

Silence was the only answer, and everyone just waited. This was... Sam has been definitely coming up with all kinds of horrible things that could’ve happened to her since Loki grabbed her. And now her mother was able to just call her like this. It didn’t make sense.

‘ _Mum, what happened_?’ asked a faint female voice and Sam recognized it was Sara right away.

‘Sara! It sure is good to know you’re not dead somewhere,’ he said.

‘ _Oh_ ,’ Sara said after a brief pause. ‘ _Well... I guess you’ve been searching for me_.’

‘Yes, we have. Can you tell us where you are?’ Thor asked. ‘Last anyone has seen you my brother Loki has taken you captive, but now you are well... I assume he is not there, is he?’

‘ _No, no... he just... I’m fine. I’m sorry for making you look for me. I’m safe, I’m probably at the safest place on Earth right now_.’

‘You’re not here, so where is that supposed to be?’ Tony asked.

‘Also, you sound very calm about all this,’ Sam said. ‘Did you actually know why those demons were chasing you?’

‘ _No, but I assumed it had something to do with Stephen_ ,’ she said.

‘And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?’ Wanda asked.

‘ _Well, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to start rambling about my neighbour the sorcerer, you would have thought I was nuts!_ ’

‘Sorcerer... Stephen Strange is a sorcerer?’ Natasha asked.

‘ _Sorcerer Supreme, actually_ ,’ she said. ‘ _It’s... don’t ask me what it actually means._ ’

‘So the demons wanted you because of Strange,’ Sam said. ‘Do you know why Loki took you?’

‘ _Not particularly_ ,’ she said. ‘ _Maybe he wants a favour out of Stephen... maybe the girl does_.’

‘What girl?’ Natasha asked just a second before anyone else could.

‘ _On the other side of the portal... there was this space. Just this brick platform floating in nothing._ ’

‘That’s where I was too,’ Steve added.

‘ _Oh, you’re familiar, good... so up the stairs was this big gold place, I mean... whoa fancy, and I’ve seen some fancy places in my life. So this Loki guy was sort of an ass, said he would drop me off at Kamar-Taj, not that I believed him._ ’

Sam wanted to ask about that “Kamar-Taj” place, but he stayed quiet.

‘ _So then there was this white girl_ ,’ Sara continued. ‘ _Seventeen maybe, pale, long black hair, green dress._ ’

‘Thor, sound any of that familiar?’

‘Not at all,’ Thor said, shaking his head.

‘ _First I thought she was taken like me, but clearly not. She was so pleasant it actually freaked me out more than anything,_ ’ Sara sighed, probably gathering her thoughts. ‘ _She said I didn’t need to worry, because they were not Stephen’s enemies, but you know... until they actually dropped me down here, I was dubious. Turns out she was telling the truth. And here I am... middle of nowhere, up in the mountains. It’s cold as shit... and no internet._ ’

‘Where are you then?’ Sam asked.

‘And how do you have reception?’ Pietro frowned.

‘ _Uhm, Himalayas? No clue where exactly, but I’m with the sorcerers, so I’m safe. Don’t worry about me. Phone works... I probably don’t want to know how it works to be honest._ ’

‘Do you know the girl’s name?’ Vision asked from her.

‘ _No, she never introduced herself._ ’

‘Do you know anything else about the demons?’ Wanda asked.

‘ _I’m sorry, I am, but I don’t know anything else. I don’t actually get that involved in what Stephen does._ ’

‘Then we need to talk to him,’ Steve said.

‘ _Uh, well..._ ’

‘Sara, this is important,’ Sam said. ‘Others can be in danger. Your mother just told us that Doctor Strange does great things... but maybe he needs some help with what’s happening now. We just want to keep people safe.’

‘ _Look, it’s not that I don’t want to help you, it’s that I can’t. I don’t know when Stephen comes back._ ’

‘Don’t you have a phone number, or even a friggin’ owl to carry some letters for us?’Tony asked.

‘ _Normally, I do, but... Stephen’s some place now where phones don’t really exist._ ’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Tony grumbled.

‘So there’s no way to contact him?’ Steve asked.

‘ _I can tell him that you want to talk to him when he gets back, but... I don’t know when that will be._ ’

‘Well, at least we’re easy to find,’ Pietro pointed it out.

‘ _I’m sorry..._ ’ Sara said again. ‘ _I am, and I’m safe, but I have to go now... I don’t think I should have told you any of this... I’m... bye._ ’

Then the line cut off.

‘ _I’ll talk to you back in New York_ ,’ Maria said, then she hung up too. All of them just sat silently around the table for a few long moments. This was a whole lot of new information, but also a whole lot of nothing at the same time.

‘So...’ Tony broke the silence. ‘Can we now talk about how compromised Capsicle is?’

Sam just groaned and leaned back in his chair. This was going to be a damn long day.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The backstory of Doctor Strange that I am using in this story is most similar to the origin story that is in the [Doctor Strange animated movie (2007)](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910865/), which is a pretty great film. So check it out if you’d like to.


	16. Chapter 16

‘I’m thinking about moving back to New York,’ Steve said easily as he closed the fridge. Sam put down his empty beer bottle and raised his eyebrows.

‘To the Tower?’ he asked. Steve shook his head and handed Sam his new beer, grabbing the two empty bottles from the table.

‘Definitely not,’ he said. ‘But you know. It’s home. It still feels like home.’

He sat back down and opened his new beer. Sam looked at him for a moment.

‘So why move to Washington in the first place? You lived in New York after SHIELD woke you up.’

Steve took a big gulp from his beer, and shrugged. ‘Brought up too many memories, then there was the Chitauri invasion, but now...’

‘Now Barnes is back?’ Sam guessed, he knew Steve too well.

‘That’s just one of the reasons,’ Steve answered. It was the biggest reason of course. Once everything was done and over with, once Bucky’s done whatever he needed to accomplish to fulfil his end of the deal, maybe he would like to go back to New York too. Maybe even to Brooklyn.

‘It’s your life, man,’ Sam said. ‘The Avengers will sure like you being closer.’

‘If I’m still an Avenger by then,’ Steve told him with a smile. Well, a grimace presented as a smile.

‘If they wouldn’t still trust you, they wouldn’t have let you walk out of there the way you did,’ Sam said.

‘Tony didn’t want to,’ Steve reminded him, and they left it at that.

And that was... that was an awful day. Steve was short tempered for days after he woke up, but that first day, definitely not one of his finest moments. He didn’t think any of the Avengers actually knew what he was like when he was too angry and too fed up to discuss anything. Steve always made an effort to talk about issues, he always did, but it didn’t come naturally to him, like for Sam. And some days, on that day in particular, he did not have the patience to argue his case. He did what he had to do, what he thought was right. Sara was fine, so as far as they knew, there were no non-Hydra victims of this. Even if Steve did not know exactly what was going on, Bucky was not out there hurting people. So as far as Steve was concerned, he’s been right so far. Not everyone agreed and well... words were being said, not particularly nice ones.

‘You’re basically a member too,’ Steve said after taking another swing from his beer. ‘Don’t you want to be closer to the action?’

Sam looked at him for a moment, then smiled. ‘Are you asking me whether I want to move to New York too?’

Steve shrugged and smirked in return. ‘Just a suggestion. Bet you could stay in the Tower too, if you wanted to.’

Sam laughed. ‘Typical... but I’ll think about it. My Mom lives in New York. She’d be happy.’

‘I didn’t know that!’

‘Yeah, fair warning; if you move back to New York, she will demand to meet you. She’s a fan, she makes Cap cookies for the 4th of July.’

Steve almost choked on his beer as he started laughing. Sam smirked into his beer.

‘You’re kidding me,’ Steve said, wiping his mouth.

‘Nope, they are tiny shields. She even makes tiny stars out of gummy for the middle.’

Steve couldn’t help it, he thought that was incredibly charming. Sam saw it on his face, cause he murmured, ‘Big softie.’

‘Can’t disappoint the fans,’ he smiled, then put his beer down. ‘Popcorn for the movie?’

‘I not watching anything made before 1990,’ Sam said. ‘This is a modern movie night.’

Steve stood up and made a face like Sam ruined all his fun. ‘Fine.’

He just ripped open the plastic cover on the microwave popcorn when his phone rang. It was a little late for social calls, so he immediately tensed a little as he walked over to it. Unknown number.

‘Hello?’

First there was just the sound of breathing, then one big sigh, then, ‘ _Steve?_ ’

‘Bucky.’ He looked over to Sam, who was now staring at him with a worried frown. Steve walked out of the kitchen area.

Bucky was somewhere outside, because Steve could hear the wind even through the phone.

‘ _Listen... ah, I..._ ’ he grunted, maybe in pain. Or he was lifting something heavy. ‘ _I need a safe place for the night... or just a few hours,_ ’ he rushed to continue. ‘ _Not for long._ ’

‘What happened? Where are you?’ Steve asked.

‘ _Just answer me... I don’t got much time here. And if the answer’s no I gotta find another place._ ’

Why would he say no when Bucky was obviously in tr--

‘Oh, just you or...’

Bucky sighed. ‘ _We_ ,’ he said. ‘ _We need a safe place._ ’

Shit. Loki. And yet...

‘Where are you? Do you need me to pick you up?’

‘ _No,_ ’ Bucky said. ‘ _But... you can’t tell anyone, Steve. Okay? Just... you can’t._ ’

Steve thought about it for a second. ‘Sam’s here, he knows you called me. Even if I send him away, he’ll know. But I trust him, okay? Can you get here? Are you injured?’

‘ _Is your building under surveillance?_ ’

‘The main entrance downstairs,’ Steve said. ‘But sweeping for bugs is almost part of my daily routine, so my apartment should be good.’

Bucky was quiet for a moment and Steve wondered whether he was going to hang up.

‘ _We’re on your roof, could you--_ ’

‘I’m coming,’ Steve said and hung up.

Sam was standing by the table, a dozens of questions on his face.

‘Stay here, don’t call anyone,’ Steve told him. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’

Sam opened his mouth to ask some questions, but he shut it again and nodded. Steve nodded back and rushed out of his front door, and then to the stairway and up to the roof. He chose the apartment on the top floor when he moved here, because he thought it was the best, strategically speaking. If there was a serious emergency, he could jump out of a window, the five floors were nothing for him, but others would have to either come up from the ground floor or through the roof. Either way, Steve would know if more than one or two people were coming.

He almost slammed the roof door open as he stepped out, then he quickly looked around, the wind stinging his eyes. Bucky and Loki emerged from the shadows a moment later. Well, emerged was not the right word. Bucky had one of Loki’s arms draped over his shoulder, his metal arm firmly around his waist. He must’ve had Loki’s entire weight resting on him.

Steve only hesitated for a moment, then he ran closer and dragged Loki’s other arm over his shoulder to help Bucky carry the weight. It would have been easier to just pick him up in a fireman’s carry or something, since either of them could’ve easily carried him like that. But then something cold and wet started seeping into Steve’s t-shirt from where his side touched Loki’s and okay... that explained it.

‘Come on,’ he urged and Bucky didn’t need any encouragement. Loki did not seem to be conscious, or if he was, he was not really aware of anything.

It was late enough that Steve did not worry about his neighbours. There were only two other apartments on this floor, which was another reason why he picked this apartment. The hallway was not as dark as the roof, but Steve did not look down on Loki or Bucky to assess what shape they were in. It was best to be behind closed doors first.

Sam was standing in the doorway and Steve heard him curse quietly when he noticed them. He quickly got out of the way. Steve and Bucky dragged Loki inside and let Sam close the door.

‘Couch,’ Steve said. It was the closest flat surface besides the floor. They put Loki down a moment later. And damn, maybe it was the armour, but he was a lot heavier than he looked.

‘What in the hell?’ asked Sam, but he was ignored. Steve finally took a closer look at Bucky, then Loki too. Their hair was wet, not dripping, but still quite damp, clothes too. It was not raining outside, so Steve had no idea how it happened. Bucky’s metal arm was covered in something with a dark blue colour, and so was Loki. It was dripping down from his side and down on Steve’s couch. When Steve looked down on himself, he saw that his t-shirt was now also stained with it.

‘What’s the blue stuff?’ Sam asked, coming closer while Bucky knelt up on the couch to take a closer look at Loki’s face.

‘It’s blood,’ Bucky grunted. The “idiot” was heavily implied. ‘Hey,’ he said then and lightly tapped Loki’s cheek a few times to wake him up. Loki blinked open his red eyes and frowned at the room around him, then his eyes landed on Steve.

‘This supposed to be safe?’ he croaked, voice scratchy.

‘You were not exactly offering any alternatives,’ Bucky said, then went to pry some of Loki’s armour off to look at his side.

Loki gritted his teeth and hissed in pain. That was a lot of blood, even if it was blue.

‘What the hell did that?’ Steve asked, going closer.

‘An axe,’ Bucky said. Steve couldn’t see how big the wound was, because as soon as Bucky tried to remove some of the armour Loki bit back a pained cry. Bucky’s hands were immediately covered in blue blood, do he put the armour back in place and put some pressure on it.

‘Okay, shit... that looks too bad for a quick stitch,’ Sam said, going closer. ‘Steve’s got a pretty great med kit, and I used to be a pararescue, but that’s a freakin’ lot of blood. And he ain’t exactly human, so I guess we can’t just go to a hospital.’

‘Loki... Loki focus!’ Bucky said. ‘What do I do?’ he asked.

Loki just breathed a few times, mouth open, eyes distant. Even his teeth were all blue.

‘Don’t bother,’ he managed to say after a few deep breaths.

‘Don’t bother what?’ Bucky asked in return. ‘As in, it’s gonna heal just fine on its own or...’

‘Or my damn... armour is keeping my guts inside... so there’s no point,’ Loki gritted it out, then his head lolled back, his chest heaving.

‘Just let me take a look,’ Bucky said, lifting his hands again from the wound.

‘Doesn’t matter,’ Loki breathed out, shaking his head at the ceiling.

Steve just stared at the ever growing blue stain on his couch and had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do.

‘Fuck, how old is this injury? How much blood did he lose?’ Sam asked. He was standing next to Bucky and Loki. He just simply couldn’t stay away with someone so badly injured right in front of him.

‘A lot... happened over an hour ago,’ Bucky said with a sigh, then stopped putting pressure on the wound. Sam looked back at Steve, like he could tell him what to do, but Steve had no idea.

Bucky gripped Loki’s forearm with his metal hand to get his attention.

‘Hey... you gonna die on me?’ he asked.

Loki just breathed heavily for a few seconds, eyes still on the ceiling. ‘Looks like it.’

Bucky cursed quietly, but Steve didn’t catch the words. Then he turned Loki’s forearm around, so that he could grip Bucky’s metal arm with his bloody fingers.

‘All right,’ Bucky said, taking a deep breath. ‘Fuck... just don’t fight it then... and it’ll be over soon.’

Sam took a few steps back to stand next to Steve. It’s not like he could do anything.

‘Real helpful,’ Loki croaked. Steve was sure his hand would have been shaking if he weren’t gripping the metal under his fingers so tightly.

‘You know me,’ Bucky said. ‘Always here to help.’

Steve felt like his feet were rooted to the floor. He couldn’t go closer, because what the hell could he do, but he couldn’t back away either. Was he really drinking beer and laughing with Sam ten minutes ago? It was surreal.

Loki’s breath stuttered a little, and his whole body locked up in pain as he coughed and choked on something... blood, probably.

‘Hey, easy... easy, just breathe, almost over,’ Bucky said quietly. Loki slumped back on the couch again, but didn’t say anything. Just kept sucking in shallow little breaths.

It hit Steve like a train then, he had to call Thor. He had to call Thor right now, because...

‘And hey,’ Bucky spoke again. ‘Give Mistress Death a smile from me.’

Loki’s lips actually twitched.

Bucky continued, still with that easy, almost playful tone. ‘And not just any smile... the charming one you only give the pretty ones. She’ll like that.’

Loki didn’t answer. A second later his fingers went lax, no longer holding on, and his chest stopped moving.

And Steve and Sam just stood there in silence. Bucky let go of Loki’s arm and closed his eyelids with a sigh.

‘Holy shit,’ Sam breathed out.

Bucky sat down on the couch and swept his damp hair out of his eyes with bloodied fingers.

‘We gotta call Thor,’ Steve said once he found his voice again.

‘No,’ Bucky said.

‘What... yes, we do, we have to call him,’ Steve said, his legs no longer feeling like lead.

‘And I said, no,’ Bucky repeated.

‘His brother is lying dead on my couch, covered in blood. We have to call him!’

‘Steve’s right, he needs to know,’ Sam added.

Bucky looked plain frustrated for a second, then he looked at them with a levelled look.

‘He’s gonna wake up.’

And that...

‘What, he’s not dead?’ Sam asked.

‘He is, as dead as it gets,’ Bucky told them. ‘But he’s gonna wake up. Give it a few hours.’

Steve frowned, while Sam looked plain confused, but Bucky looked very sure about what he was saying. Then Steve remembered something they talked about the last time they saw each other.

‘Buck, I told you before, he’s... he’s not a god,’ he said. ‘They can die... and it’s just as permanent as death for humans. We have to call Thor.’

‘He’s going to wake up,’ Bucky repeated. ‘But not cause he’s a god, but because he’s Loki. Trust me, give it a few hours... he’ll wake up.’

Steve was thrown and had no idea how to continue this conversation.

‘Whao, what’s the purple stuff?’ asked Sam suddenly. ‘I didn’t notice that before.’

Steve followed his gaze and saw that something, that indeed looked a little purple, was staining Bucky’s side and leg.

Bucky looked down on it. ‘Well... I didn’t go to art school, but that’s usually what happens if you mix blue with red.’

‘You’re injured?’ Steve asked. ‘How bad?’

‘I’ll live,’ Bucky shrugged.

‘No, dammit... let me see,’ Steve insisted as he walked closer to him. Loki’s still body was more than a little disturbing, but Steve kept his eyes on Bucky.

Bucky gave up after a moment and stood up, unbuttoning his leather jacket. He was not wearing any kevlar underneath it, just an undershirt of sort. That was strange. Steve noticed how damp that shirt was, so he didn’t immediately know how much blood covered the dark material, but then Bucky lifted up the shirt and Steve clenched his jaw.

The cut was not that deep, but it started a little above Bucky’s belly button and ended on his side. A fine cut, knife... or sword, definitely something sharp.

‘What did that?’ Sam asked.

‘Axe,’ Bucky said.

‘The same axe that almost cut Loki in half?’ Sam asked in horror.

‘Stitches, now,’ Steve said with a tone that meant he would not argue about this.

* * *

Loki’s body lying on the couch like that made Steve want to cover him with a sheet or something. Sure, they had been enemies first and foremost, but that didn’t mean looking at his body, dead and still, was pleasant. At least his apartment wasn’t filled with the stench of blood. It was probably because Loki’s blood was blue for some reason, but the scent reminded Steve of wet leaves. Not the pleasant fall scent, but the sort of leaves that were half-rotten under the snow, just a bit more bitter. It was still not something he wanted in his nose all the time, but it was slightly better than the normal smell of blood and death.

Bucky was sitting in a chair a little further away, half-naked so that Sam could clean and stitch his wound. He cleaned up a bit, so he didn’t have that many blue blood stains all over now. Steve wanted to sew the wound shut himself first, but Sam gave them both a look and reminded them who the actual professional was. Bucky only tensed up a little when Sam’s hand first touched him. It wasn’t that bad, but Steve stayed close, crouching right next to Sam, right where Bucky could see him.

‘That’s the real colour,’ Bucky said suddenly. He was looking at Loki, who looked a lot more blue now, not the grey he was... earlier. ‘He tried to damp down on it, but his skin wouldn’t go lighter than grey... He really hated it.’

Steve didn’t really know what to say to that. He still wanted to call Thor, but he decided to wait a bit before trying to convince Bucky again.

‘Almost done,’ Sam said. ‘Does the anaesthetic still work? I know Steve works through that stuff real quick.’

‘It’s fine,’ Bucky said, looking away from Loki... Loki’s body.

‘Not if it hurts,’ Sam said. ‘It’s local anaesthesia, I can...’

‘No more drugs. Just finish those stitches already,’ Bucky said, his voice suddenly harder. He leaned back in the chair and rested both his hands on the armrests. He was a lot more tense now.

‘Buck? You okay?’

‘Just... get it done,’ he said, staring ahead, looking at nothing. Sam definitely picked up on the change, because he worked as quickly as he could. Bucky was gripping the armrests really tightly after a few moments passed, and Steve was seriously starting to worry. That look on Bucky’s face was more blank by the second, closing off.

‘Okay, done,’ Sam announced. ‘Steve can do the bandage, okay? I’ll just clean these,’ he said. Then he stood up to head over to the bathroom, giving them some privacy.

Bucky was still tense, his fingers were curled up in a death-grip. Even his breathing quickened up.

‘Bucky?’ Steve called. He wasn’t sure whether it was smart to reach out and touch, but he had no other idea. He rested a hand on Bucky’s flesh arm, just gently, barely a connection. Bucky just tensed further.

‘Buck...’

‘Just give me a minute,’ Bucky said in a clipped tone.

‘What’s wrong?’ Steve asked.

‘Just give--’ he lowered his head a little, his hair falling to his eyes, hiding some of his face. His breathing picked up, quickening irregularly in a very familiar way.

‘Let me help, okay? Just breathe,’ Steve said, moving a little closer so that he was right in front of him. ‘Remember my asthma attacks? You could help me breathe real good, so let’s do that. Breathing.’

Bucky didn’t react, but he also didn’t lean back or push Steve away. That had to count for something.

‘Okay, let’s do this... one two three in... one two three out... follow my lead, okay? Can you do that for me? One two three in... one two three out, breathe with me, Buck.’

It took some time, but Bucky started taking deep breaths, in and out, slowly, just like Steve instructed. After some time Steve didn’t need to count, he just kept his own breathing deep and calm, and Bucky followed his lead. His fingers definitely broke the armrest of the chair, but he let go after a while, unclenching his hands. The plates on the metal arm shifted too, probably going back to a relaxed position.

‘That’s it, you’re fine,’ Steve murmured. ‘Feel better?’

‘It’s just...’

‘You don’t gotta explain, Buck,’ Steve said. God knew Bucky had more than enough reasons to fall apart sometimes. This was nothing. Hell, Steve was a big mess on a regular basis, and he had no asthma to blame it on any more either.

‘This was just a really long day,’ Bucky said then, sounding very tired and very defeated. Steve couldn’t keep the distance between them this big for a second longer. He got up on his knees and wrapped his arms around him. He was so glad when Bucky just leaned forward and rested his head on his shoulder, breathing evenly, relaxing into his hold.

‘You’re fine,’ Steve repeated. ‘You’re okay.’

Maybe he was reassuring himself too, but who could blame him? After a few moments Bucky turned his head and buried his face in Steve’s neck, so Steve reached up to run his fingers down the back of his skull a few times.

‘So what happened?’ Steve asked after a long moment of silence. He hated to break the peace, but he needed to know.

‘We were ambushed, we didn’t expect it,’ Bucky said. ‘Had to jump down a bridge to get away.’

That explained why they were damp, and shit. Who the hell could get a jump on both Bucky and Loki? Let alone... killing Loki. God dammit, this was bad.

‘Who was it?’ he asked.

‘Don’t know... if Loki knew, he didn’t have time to explain it.’

They were silent for a little while again, and Steve still didn’t feel like letting go, so he didn’t. Bucky seemed a lot calmer too like this, so really, there was no point. His knees were not exactly comfortable, but he didn’t give a damn.

‘Buck, I know you think Loki will wake up, but--’

‘I know he will,’ Bucky said. ‘This happened before.’

Now this time Steve had to lean back to look at him.

‘He died before?’

‘Not just once,’ Bucky answered. ‘I was only there for one, but... yeah, he’s gonna wake up.’

Steve just stared, first at Bucky, then he looked over to Loki’s still form.

‘How?’ he asked.

‘Not sure,’ Bucky said. ‘Also not my place to share what little I know.’

Steve just tried to wrap this whole thing around his head again. He thought this was complicated enough with Hydra, the demons, and then Strange, but this... oh boy.

‘You really got yourself in one hell of a mess here, Buck,’ he said then. Bucky smiled.

‘Yeah...’ he agreed, then bit his lips. ‘And thanks... for letting us come here.’

‘Thanks for keeping your promise,’ Steve said in return, because he really wanted Bucky to call him if he was in trouble, he was not blowing hot air. Steve gave him another smile. His knees were seriously uncomfortable now, but he enjoyed the moment too much to break it.

‘Before...’ Bucky said, looking at him, searching his face maybe. ‘Can I?’

Steve knew what he meant, and couldn’t find in himself a single reason not to, so he leaned forward instead of answering. Or well, this was his answer, this kiss. Bucky took hold of his head, to keep him in place, as if Steve wanted to go anywhere. He still didn’t know where this came from, not entirely. He never... they never, but... it felt good to be close, so good to be connected in a new way, to help heal what was broken, taken from them. He didn’t even need some deep reason behind it. This was Bucky. Why wouldn’t he want to do this?

‘Oh,’ he heard and uh, damn. Sam, of course. Steve leaned back, but slowly. He did not jerk his head away, because he didn’t feel like he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. Bucky let go of him and Steve stood up, his knees hurt a bit, but he knew it would pass in a moment.

Sam’s face was less surprised than Steve expected, but there was nothing hostile or wary in his look either. That was good enough for Steve.

‘Everything good?’ Sam asked.

‘Sure,’ Steve nodded.

‘So... what now?’

‘Now,’ Steve sighed. ‘Apparently, we’re going to wait for Loki to wake up.’

Sam looked dubious, and Steve didn’t blame him. He had nothing to say that could prove that it was actually going to happen, only Bucky’s insistence that it would.

‘Okay,’ Sam said carefully. ‘A little disturbing, but sure... let’s wait.’

And this right here was one of the reasons why Steve liked Sam so much, he could really roll with the punches.

* * *

This was the longest time Steve spent with Bucky in the 21st century, not counting the hours one or both of them were asleep. He wished it happened under different circumstances, but he also couldn’t help the amount of relief he felt. Bucky could’ve died tonight. From what little he told them about the attack, if the giant man with the axe hadn’t been focused on Loki so much... Steve didn’t want to think about. He knew what Bucky’s been doing was dangerous, but this was the first time he’s been reminded how dangerous exactly. But Bucky was fine and he came to him for help, so yeah, ridiculous amounts of relief.

Sam stayed, even though it was getting incredibly late, but Steve figured he didn’t want to leave Steve alone with Bucky and Loki. It should’ve been clear by now that Steve was in no danger, but he was pretty sure it was not his safety Sam was worried about anyway.

They were mostly silent. Steve wasn’t sure whether it was because Sam was there, or the situation in general, but he didn’t mind. This wasn’t like their first meetings. Steve knew he didn’t need to hoard every second, afraid that it would be the last. He and Bucky would meet again, talk again, he was sure of that.

‘Hey... uhm, guys,’ Sam called from the living room. He went to the bathroom a minute ago. Both Bucky and Steve were at the kitchen table. ‘I think Loki’s... glowing.’

Bucky was on his feet in a second, marching over to the couch. He put his shirt and jacket back on a while back, but he didn’t close the straps. It was like he was ready to go, but not particularly in a hurry to get going.

When Steve got to the couch he knew exactly what Sam meant. The light was faint, but it definitely came from under Loki’s skin, a faint golden glow. Bucky crouched down next to the couch, looking him over.

‘Body’s healing,’ he said. ‘You might wanna stay back.’

‘What, why?’ Sam asked, but he already backed off. Steve was not that close anyway, so he remained firmly in place.

‘Let’s just say that death is kind of traumatizing,’ Bucky said. Steve noticed his posture now, how his body was alert, like he expected an attack.

‘Yeah, that makes sense,’ Sam said.

‘But why do we need to--’

Loki sucked in a breath as the golden glow lit up brightly. Holy shit, Bucky was right. The next second Loki lashed out, rolled off the couch in an attack. Bucky was definitely expecting that. He rolled with the weight that was suddenly on him and Steve heard his arm recalibrate. There was some noise from Loki, almost like a shout or a grunt, then Bucky was on top and had the other pinned with his metal arm.

‘Hey, it’s me,’ Bucky said, but he was still tossed off from Loki, which was the moment Steve wanted to interfere. But Loki froze mid-strike, half on-top of Bucky, one arm raised in the air. Steve couldn’t see either of their faces, but they both stopped, that had to be good. Loki’s shoulder was rising and falling, and Steve could hear heavy breathing too.

‘It’s me,’ Bucky repeated. ‘Relax, it’s just me.’

There was a tense moment, but then Loki’s arm dropped down.

‘You should--’ Loki spoke, but what... the voice was. ‘What?’

‘Well... at least you’re no longer blue,’ Bucky offered.

Loki looked around and how on Earth did he... she? Steve was staring at a woman’s face. Well, he could still see... the high cheekbones and the nose was the same, but the lips were slightly fuller, the eyes a bit rounder. Why was he looking at a woman?

Loki started stripping down the dark gloves from his... her hands? Steve was lost.

‘Am I hallucinating?’ Sam asked quietly. ‘Because I am really tired, so that would explain this.’ Steve shook his head.

Once the gloves were gone, they all saw that the hands underneath were just as pale white as Loki’s face.

‘Bucky?’ Steve asked, because Loki looked a little shell-shocked too, touching his/her own face and scowling down at... well. The armour was definitely loose on the shoulders, but way too tight on the chest.

‘I was kind of expecting this,’ Bucky said.

‘This?’ Loki whipped... okay, “her” Steve was going with “her” for now, and if Loki didn’t like it Steve would know about it soon enough. She whipped her head around to stare at Bucky.

‘You were expecting this? In what realm is this something to be expected?’

‘Last time you woke up blue,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘I figured something would change.’

‘This is not the same,’ Loki hissed. The female voice did nothing to diminish the threat and the danger from that tone.

‘You really expecting answers from me?’ Bucky asked.

‘No, of course not,’ Loki relented, then finally looked up at Steve and Sam. Oh, if looks could kill. ‘Just brilliant. This still does not qualify as a safe place.’

‘Again,’ Bucky sighed. ‘We didn’t have any alternatives. And do you see any danger? We’re fine.’

Loki made some angry sound, but did not say anything as she got to her feet. She was still almost as tall as before, only lost a few inches maybe.

‘We’re leaving,’ she stated.

‘How about you wait more than five minutes after coming back from the dead?’ Bucky offered as he stood up too. ‘Unless you wanna pass out in a.... very unladylike manner.’

‘Another quip like that, and I will rip your tongue out,’ Loki warned venomously, but Bucky did not look concerned. Loki looked frantic and after a moment Steve started to suspect that it was not just about the sudden female body.

‘Loki,’ Bucky said. ‘Recall what happened.’

‘Once we are out of here,’ she answered, but Bucky took a step closer to catch her eyes.

‘How did you die?’ he asked. Loki was silent, breathing in an out for a few second, then she shut her eyes.

‘Bled out,’ she said.

‘How?’

‘Weapon... blade... no... axe,’ her eyes opened. ‘Skurge,’ she said in a much deeper tone, her anger basically tangible. She stared ahead of herself for a long moment, both hands clenched in tight fists. Maybe he just imagined it, but Steve could’ve sworn he saw green sparks for a second. ‘That bitch,’ she spat then.

‘Who?’ Steve asked before he could stop himself. Loki turned to look at him, like she only just remembered that Steve and Sam were in the room.

‘We are leaving,’ she said again and marched towards the door. Steve knew Bucky won’t argue again.

When he moved to go after her Steve stopped him for a second.

‘Take the stairs back up to the roof,’ Steve suggested. ‘No cameras there.’

‘Okay,’ Bucky nodded. He looked like he wanted to say or do something more, but... ‘I’ll be seeing you,’ he said.

‘Yeah, see you,’ Steve said in return. Bucky nodded at Sam too, then went for the door.

‘And thank you,’ Bucky looked back before he shut the door behind himself.

Steve let out a huge breath, his shoulders dropping... really, this night.

‘So I guess you gonna need help burning the couch,’ Sam said easily. Steve looked over at the piece of furniture in question, which was covered with dark blue blood, it long dried, especially on the pillows and... yeah, they’re gonna burn it.

‘Better not leave alien DNA lying around,’ he said. It was past 4AM now, but they still had to deal with it now. He did not look forward to it, neither did Sam, if the look on his face was anything to go by.

‘You so owe me for tonight,’ Sam looked at him meaningfully.

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed. ‘And hey... about before...’

‘Oh, you mean the lip-on-lip action?’ Sam asked. ‘Man, trust me, I did not need to see you attached to the guy’s face to know how far you would go for him.’

No point denying that, so Steve didn’t. And it looked like that was all the comments Sam had about the topic. It made Steve ridiculously glad, even with the couch-burning coming up on his schedule.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lady Loki in da house *Halestorm blasting in the background*


	17. Chapter 17

It should never be said that Loki did not possess a great sense of humour, but this... this was as far away from amusing as possible. This was useless, a humiliation, a spit in the face. Someone should pay a dear price for this. Loki should make them pay.

Leah sighed... loudly. Loki ignored her.

‘Let me do you hair,’ Leah offered, and got a scoff in answer. ‘You look like a mess.’

She stated that very matter of factly, and truth to be told, she was not entirely wrong. Loki glanced at the mirror on the far side of the room and was suddenly even more frustrated with this predicament. The hair grew long very quickly, it was curling in every direction, it was a bloody mane, that’s what it was. Loki was very tempted to chop the whole thing off, just out of sheer defiance.

‘In all the worlds I’ve never known a Loki who was not vain, so stop with the sulking,’ Leah said. ‘Come now.... or James will laugh in your face the next time he sees you.’

‘That would be the last thing he ever did,’ Loki glowered, but sat down on the chair Leah was standing next to. It was useless to argue. If Leah was so eager to play handmaiden again, who was Loki to stop her.

‘You can scowl as much as you like, but the “just rolled out of a haystack” is still not a flattering look for you.’

‘I will not be primped and pampered like a maiden,’ Loki growled, but the voice, curse the Tree and all the Nine Realms, this _feminine_ voice ruined the tone entirely.

Leah sighed again as she picked up a hairbrush and got to work. She was tearing at the mess of locks, but Loki was not about to start complaining about a little hair pulling.

They remained silent for a while. Leah did whatever she thought needed to be done in order to make Loki presentable, while Loki... most certainly did not look at the mirror and the picture it presented.

‘I know you understand the importance of appearances,’ Leah said after a long stretch of silence, but Loki remained silent. ‘The rules are simply different when you are a woman.’

Just hearing that word was enough to make Loki snap again.

‘This is not what I bargained for!’

Leah sighed again, looking like she expected every word, it just infuriated Loki more.

‘This makes no sense,’ Loki continued, ignoring her calm silence and the hairbrush still held in her hand. ‘I was prepared to do a great many things for this, valorous or atrocious. And I have already given a great many things.’

Loki gave up the throne of Asgard for this, the perfect plan that was already set in motion. Was that not enough? Loki gestured angrily at the body, the breasts, the narrow waist, and the round hips.

‘But this... this gives me... _us_ no advantage! This is a joke for others to laugh at! This... I don’t want this!’

Leah was still silent. She probably knew Loki was not done yet, it was uncanny how well she could guess such things.

‘What is the point of making me weaker?’ Loki asked finally.

‘If you truly think being in this shape makes you weaker, then I’m starting to understand why it was necessary,’ she said.

‘I am weaker,’ Loki said.

‘Really? You already tested out that theory?’ Leah asked. ‘I think not.’

She started moving things around on the little vanity. Loki mostly used for tending to injuries up until this point. Now there were all kinds of items scattered all over it, where did Leah get all of that?

‘It is strange that you are this bothered,’ Leah said then. ‘I think you would start enjoying it if you’d only let yourself. I have never known a Loki--’

‘Enough of that already!’ Loki snapped. ‘I care not for all these “Lokis” you supposedly know so well from all the worlds.’

Leah was unfazed, she continued as if Loki did not interrupt her. ‘I have never known a Loki who was not comfortable being a woman... quite the contrary. Although you are still young...’

Loki hissed angrily and had the urge to kill something... anything, bury a dagger in someone’s flash, sink long nails in their faces. Hack it, slash it, burn it... just destroy something... anything.

‘I have not led you astray yet,’ Leah continued. ‘Trust me when I say that this too will be to your advantage.’

‘What am I to learn from this? This... is useless. This does not make me stronger,’ Loki said again. It was worth repeating. Yes, the body was still almost the same height as before, but gone were most of the lean muscles, there was just soft flesh in its stead. Well, it was true that Loki did not take the time yet to test the waters... so to speak, but still, physically the body had to be weaker, there was no point arguing about that.

‘You sound foolish,’ Leah said easily. Not many dared speak to Loki this way. ‘You’d be surprised how much there is only women can accomplish.’

Loki made a disgusted noise. ‘I have no taste for playing such games.’

‘Ugh,’ Leah rolled her eyes. ‘New body, but your mind is still very much male. I was not speaking of seduction. The things you say should already make it obvious where your new advantages lie.’

Loki refused to start contemplating these so called advantages.

‘Sit back down, would you?’ Leah prompted. ‘You cannot enjoy that disaster on the top of your head.’

Loki didn’t, but the scissors resting on the vanity looked a lot more tempting than the hairbrush held in Leah’s hand. In the end, Loki sat back down, but made sure to glare up at Leah’s reflection in the mirror.

‘These new rules I’m talking about,’ Leah said. ‘I know what bothers you more than a pair of breasts... that others will look at you and think you weak. Warriors always tended to look at you like you were not much of a threat. Now you fear that once again none would be scared at the mere sight of you. And you do love to intimidate others so much.’

The knots were loosening, so Leah was not tearing at the messy curls as much now, but Loki still refused to look up at the mirror again.

‘You will have to present yourself differently now, obviously,’ Leah continued calmly. It felt like a lecture. ‘But different does not mean worse. And you can still very much strike fear in the hearts of others.’

Loki was tempted to argue again, but it was best to let Leah finish first. She usually had a point when she spoke this much.

‘What is her name again, the Avenger, some spider, wasn’t it?’

‘Romanoff,’ Loki supplied.

‘Yes, her. She obviously knows how to use all her tools perfectly.’

‘I thought you did not speak of seduction.’

‘It is hardly her only tool,’ Leah scoffed. ‘I don’t remember her trying to seduce you in any capacity in order to get what she wanted.’

She was correct, so Loki stayed silent.

‘But she still used your own mind against you. Used the very things you are spitting out of your mouth right now. You thought her weak, and not because she was human. Her seemingly fragile beauty is just as dangerous a weapon as any of her knives.’

Obviously the Widow was dangerous, well-trained like James. So Loki made a mistake... once. It meant nothing.

‘Or let’s take the Lady Sif...’

‘Let’s not,’ Loki growled and it made Leah laugh sweetly. She brought Sif up deliberately.

‘Or the Queen--’

‘No!’ Loki shouted and slammed her hand down on the armrest of the wooden chair.

‘Mistress Death.’

‘She is... not truly a woman.’

‘But she chooses to present herself as one. What does that tell you?’

It... that was not something Loki could explain, who could understand her mind, who could even grasp how she saw all the realms and the vast endless universe. It would be foolish to try.

‘Fine,’ Leah said firmly after Loki did not offer any reply. ‘But this pointless fit needs to end. And now. We have no time for it.’

Loki swallowed what words wanted to come out next, hands clenched tightly, eyes firmly on the scissors again.

‘Death and Rebirth,’ Leah spoke quietly. ‘You learn and grow stronger every cycle. This is not the worst you’ve been through.’

Loki took a deep breath. ‘This is not...’

‘Objects mean nothing...’ she continued. ‘And your blood means nothing...’

Loki felt like the magic now bubbling up around them would consume this new form and them both in its intensity. But Loki did not know whether it was anger still that fuelled it... or something else.

‘And the shape of your body and what’s between your legs most certainly means nothing either,’ Leah finished, her fingers tightened in Loki’s hair for a moment, smoothing out some more tangles. Then she started to braid a few locks of hair.

‘This only humiliates me,’ Loki told her.

‘You do need a lesson in humility,’ Leah answered without hesitation. Loki took hold of the anger those words caused and did not allow them to be unleashed.

‘How am I more in control of my fate than I was before?’ Loki asked instead and it made Leah pause for the briefest of moments.

‘Fine... why not stop then?’ she asked. ‘Why not leave and give up? I’m sure Thor would be more than happy to lay down his life for the cause... and for you, once you explained everything.’

The noise that came out of Loki’s mouth was close to a snarl, and the armrest snapped off the chair with a loud crack. Leah was unfazed, she didn’t even care about the green flames of magic lighting up around them. But then again, why would she care? It’s not like she had any true reason to be afraid.

‘The more you fight it, the harder it will be,’ Leah said then, walking in front of Loki. She had to notice the magic, the anger tightening the air around them, the look on Loki’s face, but she remained calm.

‘You will deal with this, or you will fail,’ she stated plainly. ‘Now lift your chin.’

Loki was a stubborn sort, there was no point denying it, so... she stared at the scissors for another long moment. Then she lifted her head, just as Leah asked. She saw her own face in the mirror again, and without the messy curls and tangles, she made a much more regal sight. She made an attractive woman, of course, but... no, this was really not the worst. This sight did not make her stomach coil up with nausea like the blue skin and red eyes did at first.

‘And I do think your magic might be stronger than ever,’ Leah whispered conspiratorially, like she was sharing a secret. She was smiling when Loki looked up at her.

‘We’ll see,’ Loki allowed, but she already realized that. The second the haze of anger lifted from her mind she could feel it.

* * *

Loki barely recognized the angles of her face by the time Leah was done. Gone was the ill-fitting armour as well. Loki changed it to something that fit her new form better, because no matter how much she hated that she was forced into this, she was not about to walk around looking like a sloven. She was still not fond of the curls, but at least they looked glamorous now. She tried very hard not to think of her mother’s golden curls... she couldn’t think of her. Not now, not...

She also did not to let her face be painted up like she was some harlot in a brothel. There might be need for it later... for disguise, but she was not about to allow it now. The nails... she would think about that, maybe that wouldn’t be so ill-fitting, if they were black... or dark green. And fine, she could see how if her lips were darker in shade they would draw the attention of anyone, but she didn’t need her lips to be noticed. No, she wasn’t going to do it. No. Even Leah had to admit that she had already endured all of this admirably so far.

‘Hey, look at you.’ She heard James’ voice as he sauntered into the room.

‘Not a word if you know what’s good for you,’ Loki warned as she glanced back at him. Leah was gone for now, but Loki was sure she was not far. She never was too far.

James raised both his hands defensively, but there was something mocking about the gesture and the slight curl of his lips, there always was.

‘You look good, relax,’ he said.

‘Fine, what do you want?’ she asked. James very rarely bothered to come upstairs to Loki’s quarters.

‘Dames used to be a lot happier than this to see me. I must be losing my touch,’ he said.

‘Thin ice, James. Very thin ice.’

‘Come on, not even a smile?’

‘I’m very glad you are enjoying this latest cosmic joke my life has become, but if you could get to the point.’

The man has been this insufferable since Loki woke up on Steve Rogers’ sofa. He never was outright insulting, but there was a shift in his behaviour... a teasing tone of sort. Loki wasn’t sure whether he was genuinely this amused or just tried to make light of the situation. Either way it was usually Loki who played the insulting game, trying to get a rise out of others – including James – but it seemed like he was happy to play as well now.

Loki wanted Leah to be here, just so that Loki could point at James and say that this was exactly what bothered her. Not that James was ever intimidated by Loki, but he acted differently now. Everyone was going to act differently, and not all of them would just make feeble jokes for amusement’s sake. To James’ credit, he took everything in stride, and acted like it was perfectly natural to see Loki in such a different shape. Now if only he could stop with his attempts at humour.

‘I think I know what Amora wants,’ James said. And that managed to capture Loki’s full attention. James’ been busy then, good.

‘I’m listening,’ Loki said.

‘I might even know where she will strike next,’ he continued. ‘But we gotta warn some people about a few things.’

Loki frowned, because they didn’t usually warn anyone, there was no point, it would risk giving away what they knew. So at first she didn’t understand why James suggested it in the first place, but than she took another look at his face and knew right away what he actually meant.

‘Ugh, Rogers,’ she said, because of course, who else.

* * *

Just because Loki was no longer throwing furniture around due to the new irritating female form, it didn’t mean she wasn’t going to take every opportunity to appear male again. So when Steve Rogers’ eyes popped open, and he sat up to look around in the darkness of his room, he saw a Loki that looked exactly like the one that invaded Midgard. Maybe it was not the best strategy, since Rogers was immediately tense and alert, but Loki cared very little.

‘I thought you were a woman now,’ was what the dear Captain opened with.

‘I am,’ Loki answered easily. ‘This isn’t real.’

‘What?’

‘You’re dreaming.’

He looked dubious, so Loki walked over to the window.

‘Take a look,’ he offered.

Loki was rather sure that if it weren’t for James, Rogers would have argued some more. Instead he just tossed his covers aside and got up to walk closer to Loki.

The view outside came from Rogers’ mind, so it was an unfamiliar sight. Loki knew though that it had to be from the time he and James were from. The look on Rogers’ face just proved that. He looked down at the almost deserted street with such fondness and nostalgia. Then he frowned.

‘I assume this is New York, before the two of you went to war,’ Loki mused. ‘I never visited the realm around this time.’

Rogers still just stared out of the window, taking in the sight.

‘I did visit at the end of that war,’ Loki continued, not certain why. ‘I wanted to see if it was true that humans built entire camps in order to kill one another in the most efficient ways.’

He was curious back then, and a little dubious. He knew humans slaughtered each other like barbarians all the time, but that sounded excessive even to Loki’s ears. Of course, once he arrived he knew that the rumours were more than accurate.

‘I’ve never seen a bigger pile of corpses in my entire life.’ And that was still true. He had known the stench of burnt flesh even before that, but what he saw back then was different. They didn’t just burn the corpses, they ground the teeth and bones, they boiled their fat. Loki still wasn’t sure why they did that, he might have to ask James about it some day.

‘Enjoyed it?’ Rogers asked in a sharp tone.

‘You don’t know me Rogers, don’t pretend you do.’

They were both silent for a few moments after that, but Loki didn’t mind lingering.

‘Why am I dreaming about you?’ Rogers asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.

‘Oh, you must be incredibly fond of me of course.’

The Captain gave Loki an impressive flat look. It was honestly amusing, it really was.

‘Are you in my head?’ he asked then. Smart. James wouldn’t give his unending loyalty and boundless devotion just to anyone, Loki learnt that by now. It made him curious, very curious.

‘In a manner of speaking,’ Loki answered, deciding to be honest. ‘I’m dream-walking.’

‘You can do that?’

‘If I want to.’

‘All right. I’m going to assume you are not just a figment of my imagination then. What do you want?’

Straight to the point, excellent.

‘It’s a warning of a kind,’ Loki said. ‘Not a threat, so no need for that frown.’

‘What warning?’

Well, James technically only wanted to warn his dear Captain about Amora and Skurge, but Loki was not about to pass up the opportunity to do something more. James was right, Rogers’ was going to be involved one way or another, so he might as well not work against them.

He held out a piece of paper wordlessly. Even dreams were not the safest places, even in dreams there could be someone listening, so Loki did not want to speak every detail out loud.

Rogers took the paper and started reading the list.

‘What is this?’

‘A list of all our currently known enemies,’ Loki said. ‘You probably don’t know any of them, but it would do you good to memorize their names.’

‘Why?’

‘Because there is a chance that you will meet some of them. They will perhaps even offer help or an alliance to you. So you should know that if you befriend any of them, you will immediately land on the opposite side to where James is. Not that I think you would want anything to do with the likes of them.’

It was more a precaution than a serious concern. Rogers looked down at the piece of paper again, his eyes going over the names repeatedly. He was memorizing it already, good.

‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘Gift horses, Steven,’ Loki told him.

‘There are no simple gifts with you,’ the man shot back. ‘So why?’

‘Because James’ cannot switch sides, so if you decide to help anyone on that list, you will be enemies.’

It looked like Rogers was about to interrupt, so Loki continued.

‘And he will be more than useless if he has to fight you. In fact, he would probably just give up altogether... giving up tends to end bloody in this sort of business.’

Rogers’ jaw clenched and there was immediately tension in his shoulders. Good, it was best if he took this warning seriously.

‘Still doesn’t explain why you give a crap about that.’

‘I have my own reasons,’ Loki said easily. ‘But let’s just say things would get more difficult for me if James were to stupidly throw his life away for you.’

Rogers’ stared at the list again.

‘You know very well what would happen,’ Loki continued. ‘He wouldn’t fight you again, he would not allow his hand to be forced, he would sooner throw himself into certain death.’

‘You’re manipulating me,’ Rogers interrupted. Ah again, clever.

‘Of course I am,’ Loki smiled. ‘I am also counting on your considerable influence over the other Avengers.’

The Captain shook his head. He looked out the window again, down to the street, the reminder of the home he long lost.

‘They think I’m compromised,’ he said. ‘And the fact that I’m having this conversation with you actually proves that they’re right.’

‘And yet I have just given you more information than any of your ex-SHIELD spies were capable of gathering. Truly, it’s up to you whether you heed my warning. But maybe you are compromised. Call it that, if you insist.’

Loki knew that he did not know Rogers well enough to identify every emotion on his face, not even inside his dream like this, but he was still rather sure that he was on the right track.

‘James told me you are someone who will do what they believe is right, no matter what,’ Loki said. ‘And anyone who believes otherwise, or tries to stop you, is a fool.’

The Captain looked surprised for a second, but he quickly hid the expression.

‘He did?’

‘Yes, and I learnt to... believe the things he chooses to tell me.’

Rogers looked frustrated, torn, but at least he was giving it honest consideration. That was half a victory, he would remember, he would hesitate to get involved with anyone on the list.

‘I have no reason to believe any of this.’

‘I have not told you a single lie, you have my word on that,’ Loki said.

‘Right,’ Rogers sighed, sounding dubious.

‘It’s worth more than you’d think,’ Loki told him seriously. Maybe humans did not understand what it truly meant to give one’s word, but it was not something Loki did lightly.

‘Oh, and before I go,’ Loki continued. ‘You’re one of the guest of honours on this... party, is I think you humans call it.’

Rogers looked entertainingly confused immediately, staring at Loki with raised eyebrows, surprise written all over his face from the sudden change in topic.

‘Charity ball... but...’

‘I would accept the invitation, if I were you.’

With that Loki left, pulled back from this dreamscape. Rogers would wake up in his real bed soon, but he would remember, both the list and what Loki told him. And compromised or not, the rest of the Avengers were certain to follow their Captain to Loki’s side of the board, even if they did not realize it.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

Ever since the day Steve and Natasha knocked on Sam’s door, beaten and bloody, he’s been wary of unexpected visitors. Maybe wary was not the right word, he just always had a moment of foreboding, wondering whether he was about to be dragged into a life-and-death situation. Usually it was just a neighbour, girl scouts selling awesome cookies, or someone lost and needing directions. This time however... well, he wasn’t sure yet.

‘Uhh...’ he just stared, because the man standing outside his door looked almost normal. Almost. The suit was normal, sort of, but the big-ass golden medallion around his neck was less normal, at least for a forty-something slightly greying white guy.

‘Mr. Wilson?’ he asked, he sounded American at least.

‘That would be me,’ Sam nodded. He was sure his face made it clear that he was expecting some sort of an explanation. The guy noticed his confusion, because he chuckled.

‘My name is Stephen Strange. Sara mentioned you,’ he said and held out a hand. Sam shook it. Now it made sense... kinda.

‘Come on in,’ Sam gestured. The neighbours would probably notice the weird guy standing on his porch sooner or later. Strange walked inside.

‘I’m kinda confused why you’re here,’ Sam said after the door was shut. ‘The Avengers need to speak with you, and they’re in New York, you know.’

‘I was under the impression that you’re an Avenger as well,’ Strange said.

‘Well, I guess? I mean, it’s not official. I sort of just follow Cap around when he needs my help.’

‘I see,’ Strange said absent-mindedly, but he did not look like he wanted to turn around and go to New York instead.

‘Okay,’ Sam said carefully. ‘Want me to call someone? Steve Rogers is in Washington, he’s definitely an Avenger.’

‘I would wait, if you don’t mind,’ Strange said. ‘I actually have a few questions for you first.’

Sam was still very much confused. The guy looked out of place in his house, but Sam’s danger radar was not going off at all. He was not off-putting or intimidating, and hell, he used to be a surgeon, not a damn assassin.

‘All right,’ he agreed. ‘Want coffee or beer or somethin’? I mean, if you drink stuff like that.’

‘Coffee sounds great, thank you,’ Strange said.

‘Sure thing, come on then,’ Sam said, heading towards the kitchen. This was shaping up to be a surreal afternoon, but not the weirdest thing to ever happen to him. No, that was still Loki dying and then coming back to life on Steve’s couch two weeks ago. It was just really hard to top that.

Strange seemed to be really fascinated with everything in Sam’s kitchen as the coffee brew. It was a little weird, cause as far as Sam knew he was not an alien or anything. After a few moments of just watching him move his hands a few inches above most surfaces Sam just had to ask.

‘You looking for something?’

Strange looked up at him, a business-like smile on his face, charming, but fake.

‘I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first. Manners are not my strong suit,’ he said. ‘I was checking for residue energies, see if anyone unfriendly visited your home lately.’

Sam lifted his brows. ‘You mean like demons?’

‘Among other things,’ Strange said easily, continuing his circle in the kitchen.

‘Why do you think anyone was here?’

‘You’ve been quite involved in... recent events,’ Strange explained. ‘You’d be surprised how little is enough to draw unwanted attention.’

‘So what’s the diagnosis, Doctor?’ Sam asked as he switched off the coffee-maker. Strange’s next smile was both amused and little long-suffering. He probably heard this joke before, probably more than once.

‘Nothing sinister so far,’ he said. ‘And just milk, no sugar, thank you.’

Sam nodded and prepared both cups. Strange finally sat down when Sam walked to the kitchen table.

‘So, you said you’ve got questions for me.’

‘I do.’

‘I still don’t get why you’re not at Stark Tower for this,’ Sam admitted.

‘Sara mentioned you by name. And like you said, you tend to follow Captain Rogers around.’

‘Yeah, and?’

‘And that brings us to one James Barnes and one Loki of Asgard.’

‘Why not ask Steve?’ Sam frowned. ‘He can tell you more for sure.’

‘He’s also a lot more in the centre of attention, and I don’t just mean the media.’

‘Unwanted attention?’ Sam guessed as an uneasy feeling settled in his gut. ‘Is he in danger?’

‘More than you are,’ Strange said, which was not really an answer, and it did not make Sam any less worried. ‘I also tend to draw attention to myself. So if the two of us were close enough to speak personally, it wouldn’t go unnoticed. Let’s say you’re more under the radar.’

‘Okay,’ Sam nodded, thinking this over. ‘Look, I’m all for doing the right thing, but I don’t even know you. So I might be selective about what questions I answer. In fact, I know Steve and the Avengers have a whole lot of questions for you too, also about Barnes and Loki, and whatever the hell is going on.’

‘Yes, I expected as much from what Sara told me,’ Strange said. ‘But I’m afraid I don’t really know what Mr. Barnes and Loki are up to.’

‘Barnes gave us your name,’ Sam said. ‘And Loki took Sara to... your friends?’

Strange sighed and took a sip from his coffee.

‘I don’t suppose you’d believe me if I said that I have absolutely no idea what to make of that.’

Sam groaned. ‘Is there anybody who knows what the hell is going on?’

‘That would be Mr. Barnes and Loki,’ Strange said easily.

‘You kidding me? Barnes said you had answers.’

‘Some, I suppose, but it probably won’t be as much as you’ve expected.’

‘Great,’ Sam sighed and started drinking his coffee as well. Strange stayed silent. He looked so weird sitting in Sam’s kitchen, it wasn’t just the necklace-thing, he had a whole weird air around him.

‘Soo... that a fashion statement or...’ he asked, gesturing at the big-ass gold medallion.

‘Not particularly, but let’s not get into it,’ Strange dodged the question. ‘So, do you think you might be ready to decide whether you want to answer my questions?’

‘Will you answer our questions?’

‘I will tell you as much as I know. It’s the best for all of us,’ Strange nodded. How quickly he responded meant even more than the words themselves.

‘All right, shoot,’ Sam agreed.

‘Let’s start with the simplest one then,’ Strange said. ‘Where exactly does Captain Rogers stand when it comes to Mr. Barnes and Loki?’

Sam had the urge to sigh again.

‘That is literally one of the most difficult things you could’ve asked from me.’

Strange put down his now empty cup and reached up to rub his face tiredly.

‘I was afraid you would say that.’

‘Why? Why is this important? Steve’s not gonna abandon Barnes, but he’s definitely not friends with Loki, I can tell you that much.’

‘Because he’s involved now, more than any of you, but his loyalties are not set in stone.’

‘He’s Captain America, he’s gonna do what’s right, and he’s gonna try his damn best to protect his friend.’

‘You misunderstand, Mr. Wilson,’ Strange said. ‘I don’t question his morality or his dedication to protect people. I know he’s Captain America, I’m aware of all that he’s done, even if I don’t personally know him.’

‘So what do you mean then?’

‘I just mean it’s dangerous,’ Strange said.

Sam was starting to get very frustrated.

‘Holy shit, why is this whole fuckin’ business full with riddles and half-answers? Why can’t someone have some straight answers?’

‘Ask your friends who work in intelligence or espionage, they’ll tell you how the things you know can get you killed. That’s why I don’t have all the answers either. No one I asked was very keen to share.’

Sam wanted to knock his head on the table in frustration, at least a few times. How did his life turn into this? He liked to jog around the same time as Steve Rogers, that’s what got him involved in all this. That was all.

‘Okay, you know what? This is not working,’ Sam said. ‘First you gotta tell us what you know about this whole mess, then you can ask your questions. I just can’t help you further, you really need to ask Steve too.’

‘I told you it would be risky for me to meet him in person at the moment.’

‘Well, good thing I’ve got a webcam then,’ Sam said. ‘I can even call the Avengers, make it a fancy conference call.’

‘Oh, I should’ve thought of that,’ Strange said with a frown, and he actually looked annoyed with himself. ‘Not that I own a computer any more.’

‘Just sit tight, Doc. I’ll set this up,’ Sam told him. Seriously, his life. Unbelievable.

* * *

‘I gotta say, when I pictured meeting a guy who goes around calling himself “Sorcerer Supreme”, I imagined a more ethereal setting, some smoke, glitter, ominous lights,’ Stark said. ‘Wilson’s middle-class kitchen is kind of a disappointment.’

‘You know what a kitchen is?’ Sam asked, making it very clear how unimpressed he was.

‘I think you’re confusing me with David Bowie,’ Strange told him almost at the same time, equally unimpressed. Sam was starting to like him.

Natasha looked amused too. ‘This came a bit sudden,’ she said. ‘So we’re all you get.’

That meant Stark, Thor and Vision at the Tower, all sitting around that one round conference table Stark had. Natasha was in some other location. Stark called her the second Sam told him what was going on. Sam had no idea where the rest of them were, Barton didn’t even live at the Tower, right? Banner and the twins... no clue again. Steve was in his own apartment, his face also in a separate window. He offered to come over, but Strange was quick to decline. Nobody from the Avengers’ side asked yet why Strange was in Sam’s house and not Steve’s, but Sam was sure it was gonna come up sooner or later.

‘Doctor Strange, we were hoping you would make contact with us personally,’ Natasha said.

‘I don’t think we have the time it would take to explain why that would be a very stupid thing to do right now,’ Strange answered easily. ‘Besides, you are interested in what I can tell you and not in me personally, so this works just as well.’

‘Okay, the man wants to get to the point,’ Stark said. ‘Barnes name-dropped you, and he and crazy old Loki went to a lot of trouble to get your girl to safety.’

‘She’s a friend,’ Strange interrupted firmly. ‘But yes, she’s safe.’

‘So wanna tell us how you’re buddies with the deadly duo?’

‘I’ve never met them,’ Strange answers evenly.

‘Do you know why they intervened then?’ Steve asked before Stark could continue.

‘Well,’ Strange said as he smoothed his fingers down on his beard a few times. ‘There is a very real possibility that they want to ask some favour from me in the future.’

‘You do not seem very sure,’ Thor observed.

‘I’m not,’ Strange agreed. ‘It’s a debt in a way, but we hardly discussed the terms in advance.’

‘They would need to rely on your gratitude,’ Natasha said.

‘So what is the other option, if they do not hope for a favour?’ Vision asked.

‘They probably don’t want me pre-occupied with rescuing my kidnapped friends.’

‘Really?’ Stark asked, sounding dubious. ‘They wanna keep your dance card free? Why?’

‘Surely, you all realized by now that something big and dangerous is brewing,’ Strange said.

Yes, they were all profoundly aware of that, only they just had questions upon questions, and no damn answers.

‘Maybe they did not want me to be blackmailed by those who tried to take Sara,’ Strange added. ‘I’m truly not quite sure. But it was less a favour and more a... positioning of a game piece.’

‘You don’t seem very bothered,’ Natasha frowned, it made Strange shrug.

‘I’m a very self-aware game piece,’ Strange said simply. ‘And they did transport a friend of mine to safety, that makes me less antagonistic. Hmm, maybe _that_ was the point.’

‘We were in the middle of doing the exact same thing,’ Natasha argued.

‘I don’t want to insult you,’ Strange said in a tone that made it clear that he didn’t actually care if anyone was insulted. ‘But none of you seem to have much experience with demons from other dimensions.’

‘Aye, we still do not know our foes,’ Thor agreed. ‘And whom Barnes and my brother are in league with.’

‘Yes, even if their actions do not seem hostile, we still do not know what they intend to achieve,’ Vision added.

‘Do you know what’s going on, Doctor Strange?’ asked Steve. ‘Who sent the demons? We heard a voice, but not even Thor understood what was being said.’

‘I don’t know yet,’ Strange answered, and he actually looked apologetic for a moment.

‘Oh, this is rich,’ Stark sighed. ‘Loki goes around doing you favours, Barnes says you have answers, but then you don’t.’ He looked over at Thor and Vision. ‘Do we have any reason to believe a word from this guy?’

‘You don’t,’ Strange answered swiftly. ‘But I don’t actually care if you believe me. I do not need to rely on you, and I do not require your help. I have accepted a duty and I will fulfil it, whether or not any of you are involved in this.’

He did not look like he was bluffing either, not one bit. Sam could absolutely picture him standing up and leaving without another word, never to be seen again. There were not that many people around who were not even a little bit impressed by the Avengers, but this guy, oh this guy was so very unimpressed.

‘Why are you talking to us then?’ asked Natasha.

‘Beneficial exchange of information?’ Strange offered. ‘I’ve been trying to figure out what this all means. You just happen to know two of the more prominent characters involved.’

‘You want to know about Loki and Bucky?’ Steve asked.

‘I know this might be shocking to hear, but I’m not actually a spy,’ Strange said. ‘I have my ways of gathering information, but not everything can be... illuminated with these methods.’ He absently touched the big medal around his neck after he said that.

‘Besides,’ Strange shrugged. ‘If I know more about them, I might be able to give you a more accurate guess as to what their role is.’

Man, he knew how to dangle the carrot in front of their faces. They were freakin’ desperate for information, Strange had to know that.

‘So what can you tell me about them?’

‘Barnes, AKA The Winter Soldier, is one of the deadliest assassins on Earth,’ Natasha said evenly. ‘That means he is an expert in everything that is involved with that profession. He’s an expert combatant, knows how to use almost any ranged or melee weapons. He’s also a super-human, enhanced with a serum similar to Steve’s.’

‘And the metal arm,’ Stark grumbled. ‘And Loki, y’know, not much to say, wanna be world-conqueror, strong like an Asgardian, has a penchant for drama and explosions, and sort of a colleague of yours, right? With all that... _magic_ stuff.’

He made a weird little gesture with his fingers as he said “magic”, but Strange didn’t comment on it. He looked at the screen for a long moment, then shook his head.

‘No, that’s not relevant,’ he said then. ‘I don’t think you’re thinking about them in the right terms.’

‘Bucky was a Sergeant,’ Steve said before anyone else could ask what Strange meant. ‘Sure, he was our sharpshooter, but he did a lot more than that.’

‘Please, do continue, Captain Rogers,’ Strange prompted. ‘AP History has been a while, and you are the foremost expert when it comes to him.’

‘In a war, you really can’t get things done without a good sergeant,’ Steve said. ‘Sam probably knows what I mean.’ Sam huffed out a laugh.

‘Oh, boy, you can’t,’ he agreed. ‘Imagine all the greenie officers left on their own.’ Steve smiled at that.

‘Bucky was my sergeant,’ Steve said. ‘He helped me pick out the Commandos. And he got things done, that’s the best way to put it. I looked at the maps, decided where to go next, which was the best plan of attack. Big picture. But Buck, he arranged the transport, decided how much ammo and rations we needed for the trip, whether the guys needed extra winter gear, medical gear and... the hundred little things I never really thought about. I was, y’know, focused on Hydra and Schmidt.’

‘For all you civilians,’ Sam took over when Steve started to have that far-away look in his eyes. ‘A Captain like Steve keeps his eyes on the ball, head on the mission, while the NCO will make sure you don’t end up drinking your own piss cause you’re out of water, among other things. He’s the one soldiers know they can turn to with the stuff officers don’t have time to deal with.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed with a faint smile. Then he seemed to snap out of his nostalgic thoughts. ‘And he was also our sniper, so he watched our backs from afar. Well, he’s been watching my back long before the war.’

Strange had a frown and a thoughtful look on his face.

‘Yes, I think we might be getting somewhere finally,’ he said. ‘So what about Loki then?’

‘What Tony Stark said about my brother was not untrue,’ Thor said.

‘Yes, but what Miss...’

‘Romanoff,’ Natasha supplied easily. Strange didn’t actually know her, or pretended not to know her, Sam wasn’t sure.

‘What Miss Romanoff said about Mr. Barnes was also not untrue. I just want to dig a little deeper. So what would you say are your brother’s strengths? Greatest skills? What comes first to mind? You must’ve fought side-by-side before, right?’

‘Aye, a great many times... all our lives, up until very recently.’

Strange made a “go on” gesture when Thor remained silent, he seemed almost hesitant. Yeah, people usually didn’t ask him to talk about his brother like this.

‘He was... good at all the things I didn’t always like to admit were necessary. He’s a master of all forms of deception. Illusions, tricks, lies... Loki Silvertongue, they call him even still. He got us both in and out of trouble many times.’

Ah damn, Thor’s far-away look was a thousand times worse than Steve’s. The pain on his face was raw. His shoulders were straight, but Sam could see the weight resting on them. Sam wanted to tell him everything he knew about what was going on with Loki, which was not a hell of a lot, but it was still more than what Thor knew. Steve said no, because Steve made a promise, and Sam promised Steve. He wasn’t going to go back on his word, but damn, he really wanted to.

‘He was our scout,’ Thor continued then. ‘If you want to call it that. He sneaked ahead to tell me what I was getting myself into. Most never realized that they had Loki nearby or right in their midst. His magic aided us many times as well, gave us an opening to attack, or a quick way to retreat. Once he veiled us in smoke in Nornheim...’ he huffed, it was a quiet and bitter sound. ‘I would have been cut down like a fool, both of us probably, if he had not hidden us from our enemies.’

‘Yeah, he’s the cloak and dagger kinda guy,’ Stark commented. ‘Wouldn’t call that shockingly new information.’

‘My brother is also very knowledgeable,’ Thor said. ‘He’s always been curious by nature, and he likes to know everything that is worth knowing. He was the one who told me about some of the hidden treasures and legendary weapons we ventured after in our youths.’

‘That is an unsurprising quality for a practitioner of the arcane arts,’ Strange nodded.

‘Okay, so how the hell does this help us?’ Stark asked. ‘Not that I don’t enjoy story time, but we’re no closer to answers.’

‘I think we are,’ Strange said. ‘I think it tells us exactly what roles they might be playing. Think about it,’ he leaned a little closer to Sam’s laptop. He looked a lot more excited all of a sudden. ‘But not the assassin and the conqueror... think of them along the lines of these skills, and the things you know they’re capable of. They’ve been put side-by-side for a reason, I think that tells us a lot.’

Even Stark seemed thoughtful now, joking gone for the moment.

‘Offensive counterespionage?’ Natasha said, but she made it sound like a question, so she waited for input, or for Strange to make his point.

‘No, they’ve been doing a lot more than that,’ Stark said suddenly. ‘I mean, this is not just about intel...’

‘No, but... oh, the demons were not around to stop them, they were around to stop the demons,’ she said.

‘That is how I see it,’ Strange agreed.

‘They got their hands on a lot of things when they raided those Hydra bases,’ Steve said. ‘That book, Bucky wasn’t going to leave it. He said he won’t let them have it.’

‘And yet,’ Strange exclaimed, voice going loud for a moment. ‘I have not found trace of a single event where they used what they’ve acquired.’

‘That can’t be right,’ Stark argued. ‘Hydra loved gathering anything that looked like it would be able to give them more power. They must be using the stuff they took from them.’

‘Loki had that spear,’ Natasha said.

‘And the gloves,’ Sam added.

‘Did those seem like the sort of objects you would qualify as weapons of mass destruction?’ Strange asked.

‘Most certainly not,’ Thor told him. ‘The spear looked remarkable indeed, but I felt no real power in the air emanating from it.’

‘All this time we have viewed their actions as an offensive,’ Vision said. ‘As attacks or preparations for an attack.’

‘But no attack came, not even after all this time,’ Strange said. ‘They are moving pieces on the board, gathering occult objects and artefacts before someone else can take it. They rescued Sara, just so I can focus my attention on the matter at hand. And they got all of you involved. These are preparations, but they’re not directly offensive in nature.’

‘They’re defensive,’ Natasha said. ‘Sabotage, gathering resources... but why?’

‘Steve, your friend said he made a deal,’ Thor said. ‘So he’s been instructed to do all this, by the one he made the deal with maybe.’

‘I’m still not convinced it’s not Loki he made that deal with,’ Stark argued.

‘I don’t know about you,’ Sam told him. ‘But Loki does not strike me as the type who would go to all this trouble, building up a solid defence against some threat, out of the goodness of his heart.’

‘No, it has to be someone else,’ Thor agreed. ‘My brother is a great strategist, but this does not feel like him. This is not how he would deal with a threat.’

‘And Barnes is being a sergeant,’ Natasha said, smiling a bit.

‘That makes Loki what... intelligence, recon?’ Sam guessed. ‘Special ops?’

‘And evac, he’s very good at that lately,’ Natasha said. ‘And I’d call both special ops.’

‘But who’s the CO?’ Steve asked with a grim looking frown. ‘Who’s calling the shots? Whoever Bucky made that deal with?’

‘Not necessarily,’ Vision spoke up. ‘That might’ve been only the one recruiting.’

‘Which is why I wanted to ask whether you have any idea who the girl is,’ Strange asked them.

‘The girl Sara mentioned?’ Sam frowned.

‘She said she looked like a teen,’ Steve added. He sounded just as disbelieving as Sam.

‘We know nothing of her,’ Thor confirmed.

‘Looks can be deceiving,’ Strange said pointedly. ‘And she... I found no trace of her presence on Sara. As if she didn’t exist. Loki and Barnes, yes, I could even trace back to Mr. Wilson, but not her... she’s an anomaly, and the biggest question mark.’

They were all silent for a few moments. Well damn, to be honest Sam thought of the girl as an odd addition, not someone who could seriously be involved... let alone be in charge? Was that possible? They knew nothing about her, literally nothing. If it wasn’t for Sara they wouldn’t even know she existed.

‘So how do we know if this threat is really a threat?’ Stark asked.

‘You can’t be serious,’ Steve said in return. Whoa, was this the first time they actually spoke to each other directly since Steve left the Tower last time? Sam really thought they were going to keep pretending the other didn’t exist during this call.

‘You think just cause your favourite cyborg is on one side, that makes it automatically the good side? Loki’s there too.’

‘I think anyone who sends clawed bloodthirsty demons after innocent women has to be bad,’ Steve said firmly.

‘I’m with Steve on this one,’ Natasha added.

‘Aye, I agree as well,’ Thor nodded. ‘Even if we cannot trust my brother, those demons are vile creatures, their master or mistress cannot be harmless.’

‘Yes, they are a definite threat, while Loki is only a potential one,’ Vision agreed as well.

‘If I get a vote too, I’m voting with Steve,’ Sam piped up. He mainly did it to see Stark roll his eyes, which he did.

‘Fine, I don’t necessarily disagree,’ Stark allowed.

‘And I believe with that we reached the end of what little we all had to share,’ Strange said.

‘Sure you have nothing more for us?’ Steve asked.

‘I’m afraid not, but I will continue my search for answers,’ he said.

‘And how can we contact you if we have something vital to share?’ Natasha asked. ‘You might not know us well, and frankly, we don’t know enough about you, but for now you are innocent until you’re proven guilty.’

‘Oh, you flatter me,’ Strange replied dryly. ‘Worry not, if something happens that is significant enough, I will know about it.’

‘That cryptic shit gotta stop,’ Stark grumbled. ‘This is not the middle ages.’

‘Mr. Stark, you have not heard me being cryptic just yet,’ Strange told him. ‘You should all be on your guard, and be prepared for unexpected dangers. I’m afraid the real battle is drawing ever nearer.’

Sam thought back on how Loki and Barnes looked like when they showed up on Steve’s doorstep, and realized the battle probably already arrived. It was only by chance that he actually knew about it. He really shouldn’t have promised Steve he would stay quiet about it.

‘We will be vigilant, Doctor,’ Thor answered sombrely, like he was making an oath, and Vision nodded next to him just as gravely. Wow, Sam was actually impressed with Strange being able to get this reaction, he really knew how to get people to take him seriously.

‘I’ll stay in Washington for now,’ Steve added. ‘But I’ll see you in a week on the... charity thing.’

Natasha frowned and even Stark looked back up at the camera in surprise.

‘You’re coming?’ she asked.

‘Yeah,’ Steve said. ‘It’s... y’know, good cause and all.’

‘That’s not what you said the last time,’ said Natasha. ‘I remember you complaining about politicians trying to grab your hand for photos and other things like that.’

‘I changed my mind,’ Steve said firmly, he sounded like he didn’t want to argue about this. ‘I gotta get out of my apartment sometimes for more than just missions.’

Sam laughed. ‘Amen that.’

‘Fine,’ Natasha smiled. ‘Wear your dark blue shirt.’ Then she signed off.

‘Yeah, see you in a week then I guess,’ Stark said, slightly uncertain. These two really needed to sort out their freakin’ issues.

‘Yeah, see you,’ Steve agreed with a nod. ‘I’ll talk to you later, Sam.’

‘Sure, I’ll call you later,’ Sam agreed, then finally closed his laptop.

‘This was enlightening,’ Strange mused.

‘This was the last time I played secretary,’ Sam told him very firmly.

‘I’m afraid until Sara’s stuck in Kamar-Taj you will have to remain my main contact to the Avengers.’

‘Really? Me?’

Strange stood up and smiled. It was sort of a business smile again, but Sam could actually see a hint of real humour in it, something honest.

‘Maybe you could invest in a slightly better quality coffee next time,’ he said.

‘I will hit you, man, sorcerer or no sorcerer.’

Strange’s smile widened for a moment then he turned and left, just like that. The front door opened and closed quietly a moment later, and Sam was left standing in his kitchen with two dirty coffee cups, and a slightly overheated laptop. He needed to buy a new one.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

It took Steve very little time to remember why he hated public events like this. It never bothered him when kids wanted to take a picture with him, or asked him to sign their toy or drawing. He actually loved the drawings. He was always happy to shake the hand of a soldier or a vet, or when people wanted to thank him for his service in the war or as an Avenger. He didn’t mind people, or being around people. Public events like this were a whole different thing.

He wore his dark blue shirt, just as Natasha requested, with a slightly darker tie. And he was also fine wearing a suit. He wore nothing but suits back before the war, people sometimes forgot that. So it wasn’t the crowd, or the suit, not even people sneaking photos of him with their phones, none of that actually bothered him.

‘Ah, Captain Rogers!’

This was what bothered him. Steve put on a reserved, but polite smile as some guy walked up to him.

‘I’m so glad you could make it,’ he man continued, he already grabbed hold of Steve’s hand and was shaking it vigorously. Maybe someone took a photo of them, maybe the guy actually just wanted Steve to get to know him. But he was definitely a politician. Steve got really good at spotting them.

‘Yes, no global danger to keep me away,’ Steve answered, and sighed internally. If only.

Well, that wasn’t strictly true. It’s not like he actually came here to help the Avengers’ public image. Not that he disagreed with the cause. Stark was very selective about what he attached his name to nowadays, especially when he was using the Avengers’ name too. The dinner cost a fortune for the guests, and there would be a charity auction later on. Tony donated a bunch of statues and paintings from his private collection, maybe even a vintage car he restored himself, Steve wasn’t sure. So altogether a lot of good organisations were going to get money out of this, but Steve still didn’t like the politics involved.

The guy was still talking, but Steve had no idea what he was talking about. He probably wouldn’t be able to recall a word, or even the general topic. Not that the man noticed. Steve used to feel bad about ignoring people on these events, but he learnt by now that it was either this or he ended up arguing with someone ten minutes after arrival.

He was also a bit worried about how the evening was going to progress. If this ball was on Loki’s radar, something was bound to happen. It put Steve on edge. He kept expecting everything to go to shit in a moment’s notice.

Then he spotted her. Long green and black dress (and really?), long curly black hair. He only saw the side of her face, but it was enough to recognize her.

‘Excuse me,’ Steve interrupted the man and immediately stepped away from him, not waiting for an answer. He didn’t want to act too suspiciously, not with so many people around, but he calmly made his way over to Loki. She was standing by the bar sipping a drink, while some man was enthusiastically talking about something to her. She didn’t even pretend to be interested, nor did she hide her annoyance.

She turned to look at Steve when he got closer, which meant that she probably spotted him long before he noticed her. As Steve approached he was trying to come up with a game plan. He had a lot of questions, mostly about why the hell Loki was here, or why she told Steve to be here. He was also real close to just alerting Natasha and getting the whole place evacuated right away. But he didn’t want to risk panic until he knew what was going on. So first... undercover, or something, he needed to tread carefully.

‘Hello,’ he greeted quietly, mostly for the guy’s sake. He looked up, slightly annoyed at being interrupted, but he didn’t say a word after he recognized Steve. ‘Excuse us,’ he told the man without explanation.

Loki lifted an eyebrow and seemed to consider him for a second, then she emptied her glass and left it on the bar. Then she walked away without a word. Steve followed her out to one of the corridors not far from the bar area.

As soon as they were away from prying eyes Loki seemed to drop whatever act she was playing. Her entire demeanour changed. It was nothing overly different, just the way she held her shoulders, how she walked. That air of danger and imminent threat was back right away, it put Steve even more on edge.

‘Ugh, the next mortal man to address my breasts with crude innuendoes is going to die a spectacularly gruesome death,’ Loki hissed, not even looking back at Steve.

‘You actually need a reason dishing those out?’ Steve asked in return. Loki finally turned around.

‘I always have good reasons,’ she said.

Steve could still hear the chatter of people from the ballroom, so he walked closer to Loki and lowered his voice.

‘So what the hell is going on here?’ he asked.

‘A ball?’ she asked, leaning against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest... or trying to. She tried to fold her arms over, then under her breasts, then she made an annoyed sound and let her arms drop back down. For a second Steve was reminded of the days following his transformation. He kept forgetting his height, the width of his chest, and the strength in his arms. He felt so surreal for a moment that he forgot what he wanted to say, but he quickly gathered his thoughts again.

‘Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t alert every Avenger and evacuate this place immediately,’ Steve said.

‘You won’t,’ Loki said firmly. ‘Not unless you want to get James killed.’

‘What? Where is he?’

‘Around,’ Loki answered vaguely.

‘Why? And don’t give me any cryptic half-answer. You wanted me here, so start talking.’

‘You have a lot of gall, Rogers,’ she scoffed. ‘Don’t let the body deceive you. I could still rip your arms off, if I wanted to.’

Steve didn’t react to that, just kept looking at her steadily.

‘I did not want you here,’ Loki said then. ‘James did. But fine, you might as well keep your eyes open. We’re looking for someone.’

‘The man that killed you?’

Loki’s face darkened for a moment, then she put on a very fake smile.

‘You know, I was quite surprised that you actually kept my little secret,’ she said. ‘I walked right past Agent Romanoff, and she didn’t even blink. Such a pleasant surprise from you.’

‘Just answer the question,’ Steve said. He was not going to let her change the topic this easily.

‘No,’ she gritted out. ‘Not exactly. What did James tell you about him?’

‘He didn’t say much, that he had an axe and that he was huge.’

‘And he doesn’t work alone,’ Loki added. ‘In fact, he’s just the muscle, not the one giving the orders. We’re looking for an Asgardian, her name is Amora.’

‘She’s on the list,’ Steve said, he remembered seeing her name. ‘Why would she be here?’

‘She has a very particular talent,’ Loki said. ‘James found a few things that made him believe that she’s looking to expand the number of her loyal followers.’

Steve had to think about this for a moment. Why would an Asgardian try to “recruit” here of all places?

‘Is she here alone?’

‘Skruge would be hard to miss, but I do not know if she has other allies,’ Loki said. Steve assumed Skruge was the man with the axe. ‘Or if she has anyone in her thrall yet.’

‘Is there a particular target?’ he asked.

‘I know not,’ Loki said. ‘But she only goes after men.’

‘You said “thrall”. Is this some mind-control thing?’

‘Close enough,’ Loki shrugged. She was not telling him everything, but really, what did Steve expect? He couldn’t trust everything that came out of her mouth. Still, he focused his attention on the other problem at hand.

‘Who am I looking for then?’

‘She can change her appearance,’ Loki sighed. ‘She will be a very attractive woman, but that’s about it.’

‘Are you kidding me? There are at least three hundred people on this thing, we can’t just let her walk around like that.’

‘I’ve been looking,’ Loki said, spitting the words angrily. ‘What do you think I’m doing here? You think I enjoy being ogled like a piece of meat by disgusting mortal men?’

‘Where’s Bucky?’

Loki turned her head and glanced up at a small camera that was sitting in an upper corner. ‘He can’t actually blend in after all.’

Steve thought about all the blue blood that soaked into his couch, the long gash on Bucky’s side and how many stitches it took to close the wound. This was bad, this was very bad.

‘We gotta get everyone out of here, it’s too dangerous.’

‘And let her slip away? No, we need to know what she’s up to, or we cannot stop her.’

‘You can’t risk hundreds of people for...’ he cut himself off before he finished, remembering who he was talking to. ‘If there are people in the way, it will be harder to capture her.’

‘If these useless cattle realize they are in danger, they will panic, and then she’ll be gone before we catch even a glimpse of her.’

‘Do you have any idea how important some of the people out there are?’ Steve asked.

‘No human is that important,’ she said simply. Steve was getting so angry, so damn angry.

‘How can you protect people from her?’

Her eyes slid to the side for a moment, like she caught the sound or sight of something, then she grabbed hold of the lapels of Steve’s suit and turned them around before he could react. She didn’t slam him into the wall that hard, but she was not exactly gentle either. She also stepped a little closer.

‘Avoid eye-contact,’ she said in a quiet whisper. Steve frowned in confusion. ‘If any attractive woman approaches you, do not look into her eyes.’

Someone cleared their throat, which made Steve look away from her. Clint was standing in the doorway leading back to the main hall. He couldn’t see Loki’s face with how they stood, oh, so that’s why she turned them around.

‘It was such an honour to finally meet you,’ Loki said loudly in a very different tone. She sounded a little starstruck, maybe even flustered. Then she smirked at him deviously. Steve had to try very hard not to let his annoyance show on his face. He hoped Clint would just assume that he was uncomfortable.

‘Enjoy your evening, _Ma’am_ ,’ he said. She immediately narrowed her eyes at him, looking a lot less pleased with herself.

Loki stepped away and gracefully strolled back into the ballroom without another word. Clint rubbed the back of his neck as she walked past him, then turned a little to follow her with his gaze. Steve wanted to cringe. He hated lying, he hated it, it had to stop.

‘Fan of yours?’ asked Clint then, smiling like a little shit.

Steve just shook his head and took a large breath.

‘Seriously Cap, if you keep acting like that around pretty women Stark won’t even stop with his ninety-year-old virgin jokes.’

‘I still don’t get why he would think that.’

‘Cause it’s funny, that’s why,’ Clint shrugged. ‘Natasha was looking for you,’ he said then. ‘Bartender tipped me off that he saw you leave this way.’

Steve made a decision. He didn’t really think it through, but to hell with that. Bucky was nowhere to be seen, and he wasn’t about to trust Loki.

‘You have a gun on you?’ Steve asked, which made the smile disappear from Clint’s face right away.

‘Why?’

‘Just, do you have a gun on you?’

Clint’s frown was getting suspicious and a little worried. ‘Why would I bring a gun to a charity ball?’ he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

‘Clint.’

‘Yeah, of course I have a gun,’ he admitted. He probably added “Duh” in his head.

‘Okay, that’s good,’ Steve nodded. Guns didn’t do much damage to Asgardians, but it was good for drawing their attention. And Loki didn’t know whether this Amora person had any other help. It was best to be prepared for everything.

‘Cap, why do I need a gun?’

‘Do you have a second gun I could borrow?’

‘No, I don’t, what the hell? Why do you need a gun?’

‘Does Natasha have a second gun I could borrow?’ Steve barrelled on.

‘Slow the fuck down for a second. Why? Answer me, why do you need a gun?’

Steve sighed. ‘Precaution?’

‘Steve.’

‘Look, something is not right. I need you to keep your eyes open for anything suspicious.’

‘Suspicious?’

‘Anyone acting weird, especially women.’

‘You need me to look out for suspicious women,’ Clint repeated.

‘Yeah, and don’t look them in the eye.’

‘You sound like a crazy person.’

‘Clint, I really need you to help me, okay?’

Clint stared at his face for a long moment. ‘Fine, I’ll look at their lips, nobody’s gonna think that’s weird. I do it all the time anyway.’

‘Thanks.’

‘We’re looking for someone specific?’

‘Yeah, but I don’t have a description. She’s probably young and attractive.’

‘Cap, if there’s something seriously wrong, we need to get everyone out of here.’

‘I think things could turn a lot worse if she realizes we know something is up.’

Clint just stared at him again.

‘This is Barnes, isn’t it?’ he asked. ‘He warned you about something.’

That was... close enough. Steve didn’t answer, not in so many words, but Clint was really good at reading his face. That’s why Steve decided to tell him this outright, even if not everything. He would’ve realized soon enough that something was up, that Steve was too tense and too alert for a boring charity event. It was better this way. God knew he didn’t want to risk Clint getting his mind hijacked by some crazy Asgardian, not again.

‘Natasha has an extra gun,’ Clint said then. ‘And security has to have some emergency evac plan.’

‘Maybe we could ring the fire alarm,’ Steve said. ‘As soon as it looks like there’s actual danger. Then security will do their job automatically.’

‘I can do that,’ Clint agreed. ‘What counts as actual danger?’

‘I trust your judgement on that.’

Clint nodded and Steve clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Thanks.’

That was the best he could do right now. He didn’t think there was time to explain what it meant to him that Clint was ready to do what Steve asked without distrust, despite everything that happened lately.

‘Warn Stark too, if you can find him,’ Clint said as Steve turned to leave. Steve haven’t seen Tony since he arrived, so that could turn out to be tricky, but Steve nodded anyway before he entered the ballroom again.

It was a lot different, walking across the room like this. He kept his head strictly forward, sometimes on the floor when a woman or two was too close to his line of sight. He felt like an awkward ninety-pound boy again.

Last he saw Natasha, she was sitting at their table, idly sipping a drink, and he was relieved to find her still there. She must’ve immediately noticed from his face that something was wrong, because she frowned and her whole body went tense. Ready for action.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

Steve leaned down to her, putting a hand on the back of her chair, shielding their faces from most of the room.

‘I’m gonna need your second gun,’ Steve said. Natasha frowned, but reached under her dress and got a gun out. Steve had no idea how the holster was this well hidden, but he didn’t want to ask. She discreetly handed over her small Glock 29. It felt really tiny in Steve’s hand.

‘The other one is smaller,’ she told him. Steve put the gun in his pocket to get it out of sight. ‘Now out with it.’

‘We’re looking for a woman, not human. She’s dangerous,’ Steve told her quietly.

‘Who is she?’

‘Uhm, Asgardian, no description. Clint will pull the fire alarm if things turn bad, but if she realizes we know she’s here...’

‘We can’t take down an Asgardian,’ Natasha interrupted him firmly. ‘Thor’s not here.’

‘We just gotta find her,’ Steve said. Natasha’s eyes narrowed.

‘You’ve been in contact with Barnes,’ she said. It was not that astonishing how quickly both Clint and Natasha guessed that.

‘Kinda,’ Steve admitted.

‘Steve.’ Wow, she could really put a whole lot of disappointment in that one word.

‘I know, okay? Later.’

‘So what am I looking for?’ she asked after a moment of pause.

‘Someone attractive and suspicious, that’s literally all I know. And... she might be able to... take control of others, but she only goes after men.’

Her face said it all, so Steve quickly continued. ‘Clint should be okay, I warned him.’

Natasha was silent for a moment, still frowning a little. ‘I’ll keep an eye out,’ she agreed then. ‘But you are so not getting a Christmas present this year.’

Steve huffed out a small laugh and smiled at her.

‘I deserve that,’ he admitted. ‘Do you know where Tony is?’

‘No,’ she said. ‘He’s been... enthusiastic about parties since Pepper left, so...’ realization dawned on her face. ‘We better find him, right now.’

Steve realized what she meant, and he really hoped to God tonight was not when Tony decided that having some illicit private meeting with some beautiful stranger was a good idea.

‘On it,’ Steve nodded. He tried to stay casual as he walked, and he hoped he succeeded. The last thing he needed right now was to draw attention to himself. He was lousy at covert ops, Natasha told him that enough times already. He saw that she stood up as well, and she definitely looked a lot less suspicious as she searched. Well, at least if people were busy staring weirdly at Steve, she would have an ever easier time to do her own thing. That had to count for something.

* * *

The ballroom was pretty big, but not that enormous, but he still couldn’t find Tony anywhere. This was starting to worry him a little. Since if Tony was not stuck in a conversation, or giving an interview, or standing by the bar drinking, well... that made this a lot more difficult. Steve really hoped he was just outside on some balcony, hiding from his business partners.

A few people tried to stop him while he searched, but he always excused himself quickly. None of them insisted after they saw the expression on his face. He was sure that he was acting too strange now, that people were bound to notice something, but damn it. Tony should’ve been the first he looked for. Natasha would have been fine anyway, she knew how to get out of the line of fire. Tony was not completely helpless without his suit, far from it, but he was still an easier target. Steve should’ve warned everyone about this as soon as Loki dropped the hint. He wasn’t sure there would be danger, but he should’ve assumed. Dammit, where the hell was Tony?

Someone grabbed his arm tightly, stopping him in his tracks. Now that they were digging into his arm, he noticed that Loki had long black nails.

‘You warned your friends,’ she said quietly.

‘Of course I warned my friends, I should be warning everyone. Have you found her?’

‘No,’ Loki said, looking around the room quickly. ‘But most of the men stopped ogling me.’

Steve was thrown for a second.

‘Uh, congrats?’

‘No, you imbecile. It’s her, they’re already under her spell.’

‘What?’

‘I thought I would feel it if she cast any spells, but she is hiding somehow. She’s weaving her magic, but I am still blind to her presence.’

‘That was your plan? Hope you’ll notice when she starts mind-controlling people?’

‘It’s not mind-control,’ Loki argued.

‘That doesn’t matter, what are we--’

Loki looked to the side, her eyes fixed on something. Steve realized that most of the chatter around them stopped. People fell quiet. He looked around and found himself being stared at by several men. Their eyes were fixed on the two of them, while women of all ages were looking at the guys around them in confusion, calling their names, asking them what was wrong. The more Steve looked, the more hostile they seemed. Loki looked angry, her fingers were digging into Steve’s arm painfully now.

‘Don’t you dare harm anyone,’ Steve warned.

Loki scoffed. ‘Keep them out of my way, and they shall live,’ she said easily, letting go of him. Her eyes were still scanning the room, and more and more people started to notice that something was not right.

Then Steve was jumped. At least three or four bodies slammed into him, and even if they had normal strength, he still felt it. He dug in his heels and pushed back, getting them off. He didn’t know any of the men who were down on the floor now, and none of the others who were eyeing him aggressively. He thought he recognized one of them, maybe he talked to him earlier tonight, but it didn’t matter. This was not their fault.

He heard a woman scream when a few guys charged at him again, and Steve tried his best to be gentle. They couldn’t do him much damage, and he could knock them down easily enough. He still winced after he punched a guy, because he went down like a sack of potatoes. He felt bad, he really did.

He was surprised that Clint didn’t ring the fire alarm yet. Maybe he and Natasha had the same problem as him right now, but he trusted them to treat the guys with kid-gloves, not causing them any permanent damage. Oh, this was a mess.

He kicked out a guy’s legs from under him, then threw another one off his back. He was fairly certain that he didn’t cause more than a few bruises and strains so far. He didn’t feel anyone’s bones crack, so he was probably gentle enough. He never had to hold back like this before, it meant that he got hit and scratched a lot more than he was used to nowadays, but it was a small price to pay.

A lot of people, mostly women and older guys who were not under this spell, already started running away. Steve had no idea where Loki disappeared to, so he could only hope that no innocents got in her way. Steve grabbed another man and tossed him aside, he landed on the floor with a heavy thud, but he was otherwise unharmed. The problem with being gentle was that everyone kept getting back up on their feet. Steve was going to have to start knocking them out for real. A concussion was not that bad, they would be fine.

He didn’t dodge when he caught the sound of a repulsor, because he was used to hearing it. He was not used to the burning pain in his arm, and being slammed across the room into some tables from the force of it. It hurt real bad, and he could smell the scent of burnt cotton and skin. The sleeve of his suit was smoking a little too. Shit, oh shit! He stayed behind the overturned remains of the tables, out of sight. He was injured, but at least he could still move his arm, it just hurt like all hell.

This time he rolled away when he heard the repulsor blast, then he quickly got up. Tony was still wearing his suit, he literally just had one glove on. Steve recognized it. It was a small compact gauntlet Tony kept on himself for self-defence. He didn’t look different, that was the thing. There was no unnatural blue colour in his eyes, no dark circles, not even a paleness to his skin. He looked exactly like he always did.

‘Let’s not make this difficult, Capsicle,’ he said, almost casually.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t warn you,’ Steve said, body tense and ready to get out of the way. Tony didn’t have his suit on him, so if Steve managed to get close to him without getting a repulsor blast in the face, he could knock him out before he did something he would never forgive himself for.

But they were interrupted by shattering glass. They both looked up and watched as a dark shape of a man smashed through the skylight and landed on the long buffet table underneath it. Some big ice sculpture toppled over and shattered on the marble floor along with a tall pyramid of champagne glasses. The noise echoed in the hall loudly, it was almost deafening for a second.

Steve caught sight of the metal arm first, then Bucky started shooting. He had an assault rifle on him and it sounded like he was emptying the whole damn magazine at once. He was shooting at the ceiling, because while plaster and glass started raining down on them from above immediately. Someone was on the roof, there had to be.

Tony seemed to decide that Steve was not the best target any more, because the next time he lifted his arm he aimed at Bucky who was still lying on his back on top of the broken buffet table.

‘Buck, watch out!’ Steve shouted just a second before Stark fired.

Bucky immediately jumped aside and got up on his feet. Then he lifted his rifle and Steve’s blood ran cold. He was shouting no, but he was too far away, and he couldn’t get there in time... the ceiling cracked and more glass fell down on them before Bucky could pull the trigger.

Steve had no time to feel relief. The huge man landed on his feet, the marble floor cracked underneath him from the impact, or his weight. He was bald, large and wide, easily bigger than Thor, and he held a large axe in one of his thick hands.

‘Stop running you little insect,’ he grumbled as he straightened up, tightening his grip on the giant weapon.

Then the fire alarm went off... well, better late than never.

* * *


	20. Chapter 20

Bucky had about four seconds to think about how he was going to survive this, with his guns being pretty damn useless. Then Skurge attacked and there was really no place to think. He had to act, so he let his body do the work. He was aware of Steve nearby, but was a lot more aware of Stark, who seemed to be a potential threat. There were still civilians on the floor, but only a few. He paid them no mind. There was no sign of Loki or Amora, so Skurge was his biggest problem.

He didn’t drop his rifle, in case it ended up in someone’s hand who had no qualms about shooting him. He ran thought, because it would take Skurge one hit and one hit only, and Bucky would be done for. Skurge charged through the remains of the table Bucky landed on, tossing it aside like it was some wobbly old chair instead of a big-ass rustic table. What Bucky hated most about this guy was not that he was strong, he could deal with strong, it’s that he was fast, and skilled, and way too hard to harm.

He heard the man’s heavy steps behind him, way too close for his liking. He glanced back and immediately threw himself to the side to avoid the edge of the axe. The second swing came right after the first, but he managed to avoid it by rolling twice instead of once. The axe crushed a few marble tiles where it landed.

Bucky quickly got to his feet and turned back towards Skurge, dodging the axe once more and backing off with every step. He couldn’t hit him back, not like this, not alone.

‘How long do you think you can run?’ Skurge taunted him. ‘My axe made you bleed before, and it cannot wait for another taste.’

Bucky stayed silent, and not just because he was wearing his mask and nobody would be able to understand him anyway. Instead he raised his rifle and shot at the guy’s head. He knew it wouldn’t do much, but at least Skurge was not attacking while he was getting 5.56 mm bullets in the face. Plus, it seemed to piss him off a lot, so it had to at least bruise him a little.

As soon as the magazine was empty he tossed the rifle aside. Skurge was already running at him again. Bucky jumped when the axe went for his legs, then rolled to the side to get out of the way. He was fast enough to dodge, but he couldn’t do this indefinitely. He crouched down to avoid getting his head chopped off, but Skurge swung his weapon right back as Bucky straightened up. He got him with the butt of his axe and sent him flying. Bucky twisted around in the air and landed on his feet in a crouch without a problem. The hit landed on his metal arm, so it didn’t hurt.

Skurge made an angry sound and ran at him again. But then something hit him from behind and he flew across the room until he hit the far wall behind Bucky with a force that left giant cracks all around him. Fucking finally.

Loki was still wearing that dress she spent hours complaining about, but hey, maybe that meant she was angry enough to kick this bastard’s ass right into Hell. Seeing that all civilians – AKA witnesses – were gone from this floor, Bucky took his mask off and tossed it aside.

‘Were you powdering your nose?’ he asked as he stood up and backed away from where Skurge was getting back on his feet.

‘Don’t test me, James,’ Loki said angrily. ‘I’ve been wearing this ridiculous dress and these heels for hours. I am _not_ in a gaming mood!’

Skurge picked up his axe again and looked at them both. He didn’t recognize Loki, that much was clear. He knew she was strong, since he just got kicked across the room, but he was obviously assessing her threat level. Another thing Bucky hated about him, he was no mindless brute.

‘You keep complaining,’ Bucky said lightly, quickly glancing around the room. Stark was nowhere, neither was Steve. ‘But somehow you still know how to run in those things.’

Right on cue Loki kicked off her shoes and materialized her spear.

‘Another word,’ she warned, her eyes locked on Skurge. ‘And I won’t be held responsible for my actions.’

‘Are you ever?’

She didn’t seem to bother summoning her armour, but hell, they knew it did nothing to protect her from Skurge’s axe, so there was really no point.

‘Find Amora,’ Loki said, slowly walking forward.

‘You wanna take him on alone?’

‘I said find Amora,’ Loki repeated.

And normally Bucky did not like being ordered around, but he kept his mouth shut and left dammit, because what else was he supposed to do? Skurge paid him no mind, his focus was solely on Loki now. Just before Bucky left the ballroom he saw Skurge attack, axe up in the air.

He really hoped Loki knew what the hell she was doing.

Bucky ran, but he was still cautious, because he knew Amora’s been messing with people. Stark shot at him. Loki said she warned Steve, but hell, if that bitch got to him too, he was burying his new Asgardian knife in her, no questions asked.

The fire alarm was fucking annoying, he couldn’t hear a damn thing. There had been a few hundred people in the building when the alarm went off, and there was no way they were all gone this soon. He just had to find them.

He was jumped by two guys at a corner, but he noticed them before they actually threw themselves at him. They looked like security, so he didn’t know whether they were under Amora’s thrall, or they just thought he was a threat. To be fair, he actually was a threat. Not that their motivation mattered either way. He punched one in the face hard enough to make sure he hit a wall, so he would stay put. Then he dodged a punch from the other man and wrapped his flesh hand around his throat. He was good, he didn’t crush his throat or break anything else, he just waited until he passed out, and then let him go.

He found some other guys, passed out or dead, as he made his way forward, but no sign of Steve or Stark, or any of the other guests. Then he heard a really loud crash from the direction of the ballroom. They must’ve hit something huge to make this much noise, maybe they knocked down an entire wall.

Despite the blaring fire alarm, he still caught the sound of another person nearby. He pulled a gun, because if someone was smart enough to try and sneak up on him, then they couldn’t be just some average guy besotted with Amora. He waited around a corner for a heartbeat, trying to catch the sound of the other person again, but the fire alarm was too loud. So he quickly turned the corner and raised his gun. Only to find himself face-to-face with another gun, and Steve.

They looked at each other for a moment, then they both put the guns down. Steve was injured on the shoulder.

‘What happened?’ he asked.

‘Tony. It’s nothing,’ Steve said. ‘But I lost sight of him in the crowd.’

‘Where is everybody?’ Bucky asked.

‘All over the place,’ Steve said. ‘Turns out Amora started with the security guys, so nobody’s really around to help us evacuate.’

‘We need to find Amora.’

‘What about the big guy?’ Steve asked.

‘Loki got it covered... for now. Let’s go.’

Steve nodded and started moving down the corridor, Bucky followed. Calm settled over him right away, because walking right next to Steve was easier than breathing.

‘Where did all the men go?’ Bucky asked. ‘The ones under Amora’s spell.’

‘Ran out of the room along with everybody else,’ Steve said. ‘Tony too.’

‘Then Amora was in the crowd,’ Bucky said. ‘They’ll be protecting her, they can’t help it.’

‘So, if we find Tony, Amora won’t be far either,’ Steve concluded.

‘That’s my guess,’ Bucky nodded. ‘I saw Romanoff and Barton earlier.’

‘Yeah, no idea where they are either,’ Steve said. ‘Natasha was looking for Amora too before you dropped in. And Clint started the fire alarm.’

Bucky nodded again then pushed open the door to the stairway and headed down. They were on the top floor, which was mostly just the bar, the ballroom, and the rest-rooms, so everyone had to be on the floors below.

‘Were people smart enough to head to the ground floor?’ Bucky asked.

‘Who stays inside a building when the fire alarm goes off?’ Steve asked incredulously.

Bucky had some choice words about the stupidity of people, but he didn’t get the chance to speak, because the ceiling literally exploded into debris above them. Then with a loud screeching creak the metal railings of the stairway started bending and breaking.

Bucky plastered himself to the wall and looked up. He saw the edge of Skurge’s axe cutting through concrete before vanishing again, then he heard a very loud thud, and more cracks appeared on the stairs and walls. Loki and Skurge were right above them.

‘The ceiling’s gonna cave in,’ Steve stated the obvious, because the floor above had to be falling apart. It wasn’t safe to keep going down here.

‘Come on!’ he yelled and jumped down the rest of the stairs and hit the door leading out. Steve followed him before the stairs above them finally gave in and broke, falling down like an avalanche of broken rubble and bent metal. Even the stairway door fell out of its frame. It took a few moments for the dust to settle enough to see what was going on. Skurge landed on his back, while Loki was on top of him, her entire weight put on her spear, hovering right above Skurge’s neck, but the man had his axe up in protection, keeping the other weapon and Loki away.

They struggled for long moments, then Skurge found a better grip on his weapon and knocked Loki’s spear aside. Loki jumped back from Skurge’s swing, then leaped right back at him, kicking him in the side, then making a broad swing with her spear. Skurge actually backed off into a wall, cautious of the weapon. There were deep cuts on him, so Loki obviously wounded him a few times already.

There was not much space in the stairway, so the two of them were moving out to the corridor, and towards Bucky and Steve.

‘We need to go,’ Bucky said and started running again. Loki had this under control.

Steve easily caught up with him as Bucky headed towards the second stairway on the other side of the building. He didn’t trust the elevators, not with so many unknown hostiles around.

‘Do you know why Amora came here? Loki didn’t tell me shit,’ Steve asked.

‘I don’t know the exact targets, but I think she wanted to be subtle,’ Bucky told him as they ran down the corridor. ‘Cast her spells on the guys she wanted, then leave them alone until she has use for them later. Like sleeper agents.’

‘But she realized she was busted,’ Steve said. Bucky didn’t turn around to look at Steve, even though he really wanted to.

‘Well, you weren’t exactly subtle,’ he said though.

‘This is not my fault!’ Steve protested immediately, sounding both annoyed and offended.

‘That’s not what I said!’ Bucky told him. They finally reached the second stairway.

‘You implied it,’ Steve grumbled.

‘It doesn’t matter. Skurge was around too, right up on the roof, so we couldn’t surprise her either way. She’s way too--’

Repulsor sound. He stopped and ducked. Steve did too, but Bucky still grabbed hold of his suit to drag him out from the line of fire. He had his gun ready a second later, but Steve immediately put his hand on the weapon.

‘You’re not going to shoot, Tony,’ he said angrily. ‘This is not his fault.’

‘That ain’t gonna make me any less dead when he shoots me with that thing!’

‘Oh yes, I guarantee you, he’s going to be very dead,’ Stark spoke from somewhere under them. The stairway echoed... oh, the fire alarm was gone. He wondered when that happened, he wasn’t paying attention. 

He knew Stark was somewhere underneath them, but he couldn’t pinpoint his location. And it would be stupid to just charge at him in a narrow stairway. Especially when Stark had the advantage of being able to just sit and wait for them to move.

‘Tony, you gotta fight this,’ Steve yelled down. ‘I know it’s tough, but you can still try.’

‘Really, Rogers?’ Stark asked in return. ‘There’s nothing to fight. I mean damn, it’s been too long since I had someone to fight for, someone real and important. Someone better than all my fucked-up flawed ideals.’

‘It’s not mind-control,’ Bucky told Steve quietly. ‘You can’t reason with him.’

They could get back out of the stairway and find and alternative pathway. They descended quite a few floors.

‘So where’s your lady love?’ Bucky asked loudly. ‘She abandoned you so quickly?’

‘She’s never going to abandon me,’ Stark answered with absolute certainty, but no, Bucky still couldn’t pinpoint his exact location. They didn’t have time for this. He yanked the gun out from under Steve’s hand and shot a few times. He didn’t aim at anything in particular, but everyone ducked instinctively when they heard gunshots, Stark would too. So after firing a few rounds he pushed himself away from the wall and ran back out to the corridor.

He wasn’t even sure if Amora was still around, but he needed to try and find her anyway. Skurge was still here, so there was a very good chance that she was too.

He realized after a few moments that Steve was not behind him. Bucky stopped and looked back towards the stairs. Shit. Did Steve stay to deal with Stark? Or was Bucky’s opening not long enough for him to get out of there too? He hesitated for a second. He needed to find Amora, but leaving Steve behind... dammit, dammit all to Hell.

‘Fucking Rogers,’ he growled and ran back to the stairway. 

He couldn’t hear anything as he got there.

‘Steve?’ he shouted.

‘I’m fine!’ he yelled back. ‘He took off!’

Bucky pushed open the door and got back inside. He saw quite a few scorch marks on the wall, but Steve didn’t look more injured than he was before.

‘What the hell? I gave us an opening!’ Bucky told him.

‘No, you gave us a chance to run. I won’t run! Tony needs to be taken into custody before he hurts someone.’

‘We don’t have time for that,’ Bucky argued. ‘Who knows how long Amora will stick around.’

Steve’s face turned stormy with anger and he scowled at Bucky something fierce.

‘Well, I do have the time,’ he said, standing up. ‘So I’m going to make sure Tony’s safe.’

And he took off, running down the stairs, just like that. Bucky squared his jaw.

‘Fine,’ he said to no one, then turned and left too. He started running again as soon as he door closed behind him.

* * *

As Bucky was circling back to the stairway Loki and Skurge half-destroyed, the damage to the building became more and more apparent. There was a giant hole in the side of the building, which explained the whipping wind in the corridors, and even bigger hole one on the floor. Both were rather close to the stairs, but no sign of either Loki or Skurge.

Bucky really hoped that did not mean that the fight ended and Amora took off. No, probably not. Loki was strong, she was not going to let Skurge just take off like that. Bucky trusted her to keep that big fucker at bay, no matter how badly this fight went last time. Although, Skurge did jump them out of nowhere last time, surprising them both. Things were different now.

He made his way lower by jumping down the hole in the corridor, following the trail of immense destruction. And he did catch the sound of battle again soon, which was a relief, but it also made him spit out a long string of curses, because dammit he wasted too much goddamn time. Loki was wrestling with that fucking mounting with an axe, while Bucky was no closer to finding Amora. What was her plan anyway? A military leader, some politician... well, obviously they knew who was compromised now, so whatever she planned went down the drain... right?

He hated going up against Asgardians, they looked at things differently, thought differently, their motives were always complicated, and sometimes unexpected. Spending time with Loki did not help Bucky understand them more, and not because Loki was Asgardian only by name, but because Loki was Loki. A whole damn category on its own.

He noticed the blue and red lights flashing outside on the main street, so obviously the cops joined the party. Brilliant. This whole damn thing was so fubar.

As he descended to the ground floor he caught the sound of distress. They were mostly female voices, slightly panicky, trying to be quiet, but not quite managing. He approached carefully and peeked out from behind a corner. They were in the lobby. Not right at the front, but the entrance was still pretty close. And yet, they were still inside. The small group of women were huddled around a few couches, some of them sitting, some standing around nervously. They were all wearing dresses and such, so they were from the party. Bucky saw two guys in expensive suits, obviously also from the party, one guy in some uniform, and four armed security guys.

He eyed the women, one-by-one, because why would these guys take hostages? Was Amora among them? Loki and Skurge were close, Bucky could hear them. What the hell was Amora playing at?

Bucky quickly assessed the situation, he could easily take out four armed guys and three unarmed ones, then if Amora was within this group, she would reveal herself in the face of danger. If she was not here, he would just waste more time.

Then he caught the sight of some movement in the doorway at the other side of the lobby. He kept his eyes fixed on that spot until he saw her again. Romanoff. She noticed him as well, but nobody in the room did. Well, with her interference, he wouldn’t waste that much time.

He tilted his head in question, indicating the room at large. Her eyes did not dart around, she already knew exactly what was inside. She kept staring at him for a moment, but then gave a nod. Bucky even gave her the chance to be the first to move, because she was closer to the men than he was. She moved incredibly quickly and silently, then she grabbed and had one of the security guys on the floor in a blink. Everyone turned around towards her, so Bucky moved too.

One head slammed to a wall, then a second guy caught and quickly knocked out. A moment later one of the security guys started shooting and some of the women screamed, but the Widow took his gun away from him easily enough, and then kneed him in the head.

‘Don’t... don’t move...’ someone tried to command, but he didn’t sound really threatening. Bucky turned around and... really? The last fucker had one of the girls, a gun pointing at her head. He had a dress uniform on, air force, First Lieutenant, but too old to be active. The girl in question was weeping while the guy’s eyes were darting back and forth between Romanoff or Bucky.

‘Jamie... wh... what is going on?’ the girl cried. Oh, she knew him. ‘Please... please... why are you doing this?’

‘Shut up,’ the guy gritted out. He looked nervous. Bucky had just about enough of this, so he pulled his gun.

‘I am not joking!’ the guy shouted, pushing the gun even closer to the girl’s head.

‘And I don’t give a shit,’ Bucky answered calmly as he aimed, but his shot went flying because Romanoff kicked him in the back of his knee out of nowhere, making him lose his balance. The guy started shooting at him immediately, so Bucky had to roll to the side while the hall was filled with more screams because of the gunshots.

The guy was so focused on emptying his whole damn gun at Bucky – one shot grazed him in the leg, one bounced off his left arm – that he did not see the Widow coming. She was quick and efficient, even in that dress. She punched the guy in the face, disarmed him by twisting his arm, then pushed him away from the girl. The guy tried to take on a fighting position, and even raised his fists in challenge, but he was dazed and Romanoff had him in a chokehold in a matter of seconds.

Bucky stood up while Romanoff let the unconscious guy drop to the floor.

‘What the fuck was that?’ he asked. He had a clear shot at the guy’s head, the girl wasn’t even in the way.

Romanoff glared and had a gun pointing at Bucky in a blink.

‘You won’t shoot me,’ Bucky said easily, he was fairly certain of that.

‘These men don’t know what they’re doing,’ she said, her angry eyes locked on his face. ‘They’re innocent,’ she continued. ‘And I don’t care how much it would break Steve’s heart, if you kill anyone innocent, you’re fair game. You understand me?’

‘Just try and kill me, then you’re fair game too,’ Bucky replied. She did not seem surprised by his response, but lowered her gun anyway.

‘I’ll get them out of here,’ she stated. ‘Thor’s en-route to help us get the situation under control.’

‘Now that’s what I like to hear,’ said a pleasant female voice from the small group of women.

‘Get down!’ Bucky shouted and ran to find some cover. A moment later he felt like everything exploded into green around him. And not the golden green colour of the flames that flickered around Loki whenever she was angry lately. No, this was a poison green glow that slapped him in the face like hot desert wind.

Some of the women screamed again, then they finally started running away, or maybe Romanoff was herding them outside. Bucky couldn’t actually look around from his spot.

‘Oh, don’t run away,’ Amora said, but she was not talking to the women. Bucky still didn’t know how she looked like, because he was not about to get out of cover. And he was not stupid enough to look at her when she had nobody else to focus on besides him.

‘I have so many questions for you with Loki no longer in the way.’

So she didn’t know, she still didn’t realize it.

‘Real Asgardians are much kinder, you see,’ she continued in her pretty voice, slowly walking closer to him. ‘You wouldn’t know that with Loki being... I don’t even what sort of thing he was really.’

Bucky tugged down the leather glove from his left hand to find the small rune Loki carved into the metal there. It lit up with a faint golden glow when he swiped his thumb across it. He quickly pulled his glove back ion and listened carefully how close Amora was. She liked her games, liked acting like a cat that toyed with the mouse she caught. She could run her mouth all she wanted, it just gave Bucky more time.

‘Yours is a losing side, surely you realized that by now,’ Amora said. ‘Why not come to where the grass is greener? I could be so good to you.’

Those last words were dripping with promises. Bucky snorted, and he was pretty sure she heard it, because the sweet pull of her voice stopped.

‘Sweetheart, there’s nothing you could do that would ever be good for me,’ Bucky told her.

‘Fine,’ she said. ‘I’ll remind you later that this was your choice. Maybe when you’re begging for my touch.’

Bucky had a pretty good comeback to that, but there was no time to use it, because for the second time everything exploded into a bright green flash of colour. This was not Amora’s magic though, this way Loki. So even if it blinded him for a second, he was relieved.

Skurge’s battle roar? Not as good to hear.

Bucky risked standing up from his crouch to see what was going on.

Loki looked a little battle-worn. Her dress was torn, her hair was mess of wild dark curls, and she was covered in small gashes, cuts, and bruises. But the blue spear was still steady in her hand. She also looked incredibly pissed off.

Skurge was breathing heavily and was at least as injured as Loki. His pale skin was marked with shallow stab wounds and large cuts from Loki’s spear, while his head and neck were bruised quite badly. Bucky hoped it was his bullets that did some of that.

Amora was down on the floor, so she must’ve been hit with whatever Loki threw at her. She had brown hair and wore a tight striped dress, but the disguise shimmered away as she stood up. Her brown locks turned golden blonde, and the little dress transformed into Asgardian leathers.

‘You have still not crushed this meddling cunt, Skurge?’ Amora asked pleasantly.

‘Forgive me, Amora,’ the man answered.

‘So who you might be, to cause me this much trouble?’ Amora asked and Loki started laughing, even threw her head back. It was a loud, pearly, really mean laugh.

‘You didn’t think you got rid of me that easily, did you Amora?’ she asked, turning the spear around in her hand, getting a better grip on it.

Amora eyed the weapon, then looked back up.

‘Loki,’ she said, but she did not sound that sure at first. Loki just grinned, sharp and dangerous, which was more than enough to recognize her.

‘So why the disguise?’ Amora asked. ‘You make a sorry excuse of a woman.’

‘Oh, you would know all about being that,’ Loki countered.

Bucky couldn’t see Amora’s face, which was more than fine with him, but he definitely noticed how she clenched her fists. She was easy to bait and anger, apparently even more so than Loki, that was good to know.

‘Skurge,’ Amora spoke, using that sweet enchanting voice once more. ‘Kill her for me.’

Skurge roared and attacked again, but Loki was more than ready. She dodged the swing of his axe, stepping out of the way, then countered with her spear, making the big man back off before he could swing again.

Loki could take him... maybe... probably, but Amora’s hands were burning with magic and Bucky knew she wouldn’t just stand still and watch.

He thought he heard the sound of thunder in the distance, a deep rumbling that signalled the approaching storm, but he couldn’t wait, he needed to act now. So he slipped his new Asgardian knife out of its sheath and attacked.

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

One good thing about being an Avenger was that the NYPD recognized her when she led the group of women out of the building.

‘Get them out of here!’ Natasha ordered as the women ran behind the line of police cars. ‘But any man who comes out of the building needs to be detained.’

‘On what grounds?’ one policeman asked.

‘Alien mind-control,’ Natasha said. It was not accurate, but it would have to do. The man’s eyes widened.

‘Why just the men?’ the other cop asked from the opposite side of the car.

‘It only affects men,’ Natasha said. She needed to make sure that nobody under the Asgardian woman’s control escaped, if she had to use the police to do that, so be it.

‘Is it contagious?’ the cop asked immediately, he seemed nervous.

‘No, but you could ask for more female colleagues as back-up. Just in case.’

The two officers looked at one another for a moment.

‘Everything clear?’ Natasha asked, just to be sure. You never knew it with cops, sometimes they just wanted to get the hell out, others tried to play hero.

‘All men coming out from the building need to be detained, yes ma’am,’ the younger of the two said. Natasha nodded and turned around to get back inside.

She had not seen either Clint, Tony, or Steve for a very long time now. So they were her priority at the moment. She got back into the building through a side entrance, because she was not about to get in the middle of whatever was happening in the main lobby. She could hear the sound of the fight even from this far away. But she called Thor, and he would be here soon enough.

She knew one of the stairways was good as gone, so there was no way to access the upper floors through there. The other one was far from her location, but she had no other choice but to head that way.

She prepared herself for a long search, but she needn’t have bothered as it turned out, because she stumbled upon both Clint and Steve as soon as she reached the first floor. Steve looked relatively unharmed, Clint though...

‘What happened?’ she asked as she hurried closer. Clint was not that bad off, but his face was a bit of a mess, bruised and swollen. Steve had Clint’s arm pulled across his shoulder. He probably insisted, because Clint had a stubborn look on his face. He always tried to walk on his own if people let him.

‘Tony’s compromised,’ Steve said.

‘Tony did this?’ she asked and signed the question too in case Clint’s hearing aid was damaged or he was too dazed to read lips.

‘He surprised me, okay?’ Clint said defensively. ‘I spotted him and wanted warn him, he seemed normal...’ he hissed in pain, talking pulled on some of the cuts on his face. He pronounced some words wrong too, so his mouth had to hurt a lot. ‘I guess I was too late. I turned around for one second, and he smashed a chair into my face... dammit, I totally had my guard down.’

A chair, yes, Natasha could see it now, the small ragged cuts that were caused by splintered wood, the bruises made by something blunt and heavy. He probably had a concussion... again.

‘Then he punched me with his gauntlet on,’ Clint added, gesturing at his jaw. ‘I think a tooth is coming loose.’

‘He could’ve killed you,’ Steve said sternly.

‘It wasn’t his fault,’ Clint insisted, his words were slurred now, either from his swollen lips or the knock to the head he got.

‘It really wasn’t,’ Natasha agreed, then asked about other injuries, but only with signs. Steve looked grim enough already. Clint brushed the question aside and just signed “OK” with one hand, since Steve still had the other one.

‘C’mon, let’s get you out of here,’ Steve said, and Clint didn’t argue.

There was another loud crash coming from downstairs, loud enough to hear through several walls, and Steve’s face turned even harder. He looked at Natasha questioningly.

‘It’s that big guy,’ Natasha told him, taking point to watch out for any danger while Steve and Clint followed her. ‘And one mystery lady.’

‘About that,’ Steve said, sounding apologetic. Natasha stopped and turned back around to pin him with a stern look.

‘Once this is over you are going to tell us everything,’ she said. ‘Everything Barnes told you.’

‘I will,’ Steve said. Natasha kept looking at him. ‘I will, trust me, I know I screwed up.’

This was not the right time to discuss the matter, so Natasha let it drop.

‘We have to be careful,’ she said as they reached the mostly undamaged stairway. ‘That Asgardian woman finally showed herself.’

‘Amora,’ Steve supplied helpfully. It frustrated Natasha how much he seemed to know, and how little he told the rest of them, but she did not comment on it. Not yet. ‘Bucky was looking for her.’

‘Yes, he’s downstairs as well.’

She was not even a little surprised to see the worry on Steve’s face.

‘Relax, Thor’s on his way,’ she told him.

‘He’s not exactly immune either,’ Steve said.

‘I couldn’t really think of anyone else strong enough to go toe-to-toe with that giant of a guy,’ Natasha told him.

‘Vision?’ Steve offered.

‘Oh, now you wouldn’t mind him getting involved,’ Natasha shot back. Truth to be told, she wasn’t sure Vision was even in New York at the moment, he sometimes went off exploring and vanished for days. Thor was a sure bet, he would be able to get here relatively quickly too. Of course now she knew that Amora might’ve been after him all along. That didn’t sit right with her.

‘Don’t argue, let’s just go!’ Clint interrupted them and he started pulling Cap towards the stairs.

Natasha took the lead again as they made their way down to the ground floor. This was a mess. They didn’t know enough, and they were unprepared in every possible way. Clint was injured and Tony...

‘Any idea where Stark disappeared to?’ she asked. ‘We can’t let him leave.’

‘I was on his trail, but then I found Clint,’ Steve explained. Natasha nodded to herself, trying to come up with something.

‘Steve, I want you to get Clint out,’ she said. ‘I’m going to head down to the lobby again and see how things are.’

‘Maybe it would be better if I--’

‘No,’ Natasha interrupted him. ‘You can get Clint out much quicker, and you’re also not immune to whatever it is this woman can do.’

‘You guys suck for not signing right now,’ Clint said suddenly.

Natasha turned back around at the bottom of the stairs. She signed “Sorry” and then added “Get out of here”. Clint seemed only mildly placated.

‘Natasha,’ Steve said.

‘I’ll be fine, stop wasting time,’ she said and opened the door. ‘Side entrance to the left, should be clear still.’

Steve did not argue, which counted as a small miracle. She was quite certain that Steve did not miss the sound of fighting, but he still left with Clint. That gave her hope that he didn’t have his priorities as screwed up as she feared. She never even would have doubted him having his priorities wrong, but this was Barnes, and a whole lot of secrets piling up very unflatteringly.

In any other situation, Natasha would have felt bad about not telling him that Amora went for Barnes right after she revealed herself, but drastic measures and all. And maybe she was still a little angry about Steve keeping this much from them. And there was also that tidbit she overheard about Loki not being in the way any more. This was a dangerous situation. The last thing they needed was Steve charging in carelessly right into the middle of everything, and getting himself killed or his head hijacked too.

Speaking of, with Clint and Steve accounted for, Tony was now her priority. With nowhere specific to look, and being in the need for more information, she headed back to the lobby as quickly as she could.

She was very careful about approaching the lobby, despite the on-going fight. Not everyone might be as busy as expected. Luckily, she found a relatively well-hidden spot from where she could observe without exposing herself to an attack.

The first thing that went through her mind was; how on Earth was Barnes not under this Amora’s control? Natasha did not know how her powers worked, but a lot of men have fallen victim to her. So how was Barnes slashing at her with a knife? Attacking her with a ruthless single-mindedness befitting of the Winter Soldier?

Amora’s hands lit up with a green glow again and again, but Barnes either got out of the way, or interrupted her before she could use that power for anything. She kept trying to grab him too, grip his face. Natasha watched how she actually managed to do so, after who knew how many tries, only to be head-butted with full force. Then she had to dodge Barnes’ knife once again.

But no matter how good it looked, Barnes was not winning. He was just keeping her occupied. It did not look like she was that skilled at hand-to-hand combat, at least not this kind of hand-to-hand, but she was still Asgardian, and that gave her a lot of advantage.

Then Natasha finally looked over to the main attraction in the lobby. She still had no idea who the woman was, but damn, she could clearly pack a punch. The axeman was huge, hell, maybe even as big as 7 feet, muscular, and heavy too. This woman was tall, but still couldn’t be much more than 6’. And yet, here she was blocking his axe with her spear with ease, kicking and punching him with a strength that made the big man stagger or back off. Asgardian too maybe, or just somehow strong. She was most likely in-league with Barnes, but she couldn’t be the “girl” Doctor Strange and Sara Wolfe mentioned. Or maybe she was, maybe she looked younger without make-up and an evening gown.

Steve knew who she was. The reminder of all the information he kept to himself sent a new wave of annoyance through Natasha. She watched the fight – or battle really – unfold. Barnes was clearly playing a dangerous game, but the dark-haired woman seemed evenly-matched with the big guy. Still, things were dragging on in a stalemate, which was never good.

She needed to find Tony, and this was not a fight she could personally get involved in. Well, maybe she could give Amora a run for her money, if she was careful. But Natasha was no super-human, so she didn’t think it would be smart going up one on one with an Asgardian.

Fortunately, just as she was about to stand up from her hiding spot to search for Tony, she heard a rumble from outside. The lobby’s walls were mostly large glass panels, only some of them broken, so she had a clear view of Thor finally landing outside.

He looked at what was happening inside only for a second, then he spun his hammer around and flew right in, smashing glass on his way, and slamming into the giant man with full force. The guy went flying from the unexpected hit and even Barnes and Amora backed away from one another as he hit a wall. Dust and debris flew everywhere.

The black-haired woman just stood in front of Thor, spear in hand, probably also surprised by his sudden appearance. Thor looked at her for a long moment when the big guy didn’t get up right away. Natasha was close enough to see Thor frown deeply. Then...

‘Loki?’ he asked, disbelief clear in his tone... and no way. Natasha kept staring at the woman, but she couldn’t see much from her face, but... maybe? Oh, Steve so owed her answers.

‘Hello Thor,’ Amora greeted sweetly as the big man with the axe got back on his feet, shaking debris off his shoulders.

Thor went tense, Natasha could tell. She even recognized the look on his face, even if it was not a look she was used to see on him. There was anger, but there was also fear. It was unsettling.

‘No!’ the woman, who was maybe Loki, shouted as she turned around to face Amora. That look of pure rage was more than familiar, so Natasha was quite ready to believe that this was indeed Loki in a new unexpected shape. Her spear seemed to glow slightly, and then she went for Amora, attacking her ruthlessly, not unlike how Barnes fought her earlier. She used her spear expertly, but Amora managed to evade the swipes repeatedly as she kept backing off, away from Loki.

‘Skurge!’ Amora screamed, which made the big man run at the two women with his axe up in the air, but Thor got in his way before he could reach them.

Natasha was wrong, that before was no battle. This was a battle.

* * *

Barnes cleverly got out of the way, but did not venture too far. He had his eyes locked on Amora and maybe-Loki, perhaps looking for an opening, a chance to strike, to help, Natasha didn’t know. Amora was certainly on the defence a lot more than before, she was mostly just trying her best to avoid getting pierced through with the long spear.

Skurge did not have the upper-hand earlier, and his chances looked even worse now. Despite his apparent advantage, Thor definitely didn’t underestimate his opponent for a second. He might have looked bold and careless to someone else, but Natasha knew he was focused on the fight with all his attention.

She spotted Tony then, a floor above them, right next to a railing, looking down at the lobby. Natasha made sure he didn’t notice her, but it wasn’t like he was even looking. His eyes were firmly locked on Amora. Natasha couldn’t identify the look on his face from this far away, but saw it clearly enough when he raised his gauntlet and aimed.

The repulsor blast hit the dark-haired woman. The hit was strong enough to knock her to the side a little, giving Amora an opening to attack with a long dagger she did not have in her hand a few moments ago.

Barnes started shooting at Tony, who avoided getting hit just out of sheer luck the way Natasha saw it. Barnes spared a glance at Amora and the other woman, then ran from the lobby. That was all Natasha needed to get going as well, because she was absolutely sure that he was going for Tony.

She had to use a different route than Barnes, even though she did not worry that much about being seen. The stairway was still clear, so she could easily get a floor up using it. She could already hear gunshots and repulsor blasts from above and it worried her, because Tony was good, but Barnes was better.

She ran, gun drawn, because she warned him, she damn well warned him earlier, and she was not in the habit of giving empty threats. A repulsor blast whizzed past her head, but it was a stray shot, she was not targeted. Then Tony shouted in pain when one of Barnes’ bullets hit the gauntlet. The thing died in a small explosion of sparks and grey smoke. Tony was quickly pulling it off, getting rid of it. He only ever used it for emergencies and it was not as bulletproof as his normal armour pieces.

Natasha kept running, because Barnes was still shooting at Tony, but then Steve appeared at a corner, ran full speed at Barnes, and knocked him off his feet with a body-slam. Then he kicked his gun away. Oh, he looked really angry as he glared down at the other man on the floor.

‘Get Tony,’ Steve told her as Natasha ran past him. She was already going for him.

Tony jumped to his feet to make a run for it, but there was no way he would be fast enough. Natasha jumped him, caught his arm to turn him around, then kicked one of his legs out from under him. Tony still tried to shove her aside, but he was unbalanced and couldn’t put weight behind the attack. He struggled as Natasha put him in a choke hold, he even managed to hit her a few times, but she didn’t let go.

‘Sorry, sorry,’ Natasha told him quietly. ‘You’re gonna be fine, just fine.’

She kept up a string of quiet reassurances as Tony struggled, because maybe he didn’t give a crap right now, but maybe he would remember later, when he was back to normal. His movements became sluggish as he ran out of air. In all honesty, it was quite an unpleasant experience for Natasha, but it was a lot better than having to dig bullets out of Tony... or arrange a funeral for him.

‘There you go,’ Natasha said as Tony finally went limp. She held onto him a few moments longer to make sure he was really out and not just trying to trick her.

It was only after she lowered him to the floor that she noticed that Steve was talking, his voice raised, clearly furious. She could hear it, because the noise coming from the lobby stopped. No fight.

‘Thor?!’ she shouted. She couldn’t see much from the lobby from where she was sitting on the floor, she was too far from the railing.

‘I am well, but Amora has escaped!’ Thor yelled back. Natasha breathed out in relief. Okay, they were okay. They survived another damn unexpected life or death situation.

Their little exchange made Steve fall silent as well, while Barnes got up from the floor and walked over to the railing to look down. He slammed his metal hand down on the wood in anger a second later, making it crack under his grip. Natasha got up as well, leaving Tony lying on the floor for now.

Thor and the woman were standing in the mostly destroyed lobby, alone. Natasha didn’t know how Amora and Skurge disappeared this suddenly, but of course it was probably magic to be blamed for it.

Barnes turned and headed downstairs without a word. That made the muscle in Steve’s jaw tighten in a very familiar way, but he did not follow him. Instead, he walked over to Tony to pick him up and throw him over his shoulder. Natasha gave him a look, that she hoped conveyed how much she was going to drill him for answers later.

‘I know, I know,’ Steve said as he headed downstairs as well. Natasha followed.

Steve was careful about putting Tony down on a sofa once they were back in the lobby, and Natasha stayed close to him in case he woke up sooner than expected. But she kept her eyes on Barnes and the woman, who seemed to be in the middle of yanking some knife out of her gut. Blood streamed down her side and leg as she finally pulled the blade out. She angrily threw it on the floor, cursing. She looked really beaten up, and Natasha could be wrong, but she seemed to rest some of her weight on her spear.

‘What the hell was this?’ Steve asked angrily as he marched closer to Barnes and the woman.

‘Not a total failure,’ Barnes said, but he was not talking to Steve. He was holding up his knife, it was covered in blood.

‘You stabbed her?’ the woman asked.

‘Nothing serious, but it’s her blood.’

The woman took the knife from him.

‘Well, at least that’s something,’ she said. ‘Could’ve gone worse.’

‘No, this could not have gone worse,’ Steve interrupted again, too angry to stay quiet. ‘What the hell sort of plan was this? Was there even a plan? Because I know a thing or two about bad plans, but this was a total clusterfuck even by my standards.’

‘There was not much to plan, we didn’t know what she was going to do,’ Barnes told him.

‘You could have planned a lot, maybe telling me more than just some cryptic bullshit about accepting the invitation. Maybe telling someone in advance that she would be taking over the minds of people from the second she arrived.’

‘She thought Loki was dead, that was our only advantage,’ Barnes said. Oh, so she really was Loki then.

‘No, that was not your only advantage!’ Steve said right away. ‘You could have had plenty of other advantages, you just didn’t think of using them! Was that the plan? Lay low until she or Skurge showed themselves, then just attack? Screw bystanders?’

Barnes’ face was clear as day. Yes, that was pretty much their plan.

‘We had the element of surprise,’ Barnes insisted.

‘No, that’s stupid, you didn’t! Amora already had the entire security under her thumb by the time you even realized she really was here!’

‘You forget yourself, Rogers,’ Loki warned, finally lifting her spear off the floor.

‘Oh, hell no,’ Steve said as he finally looked at Loki. ‘Last time you literally dragged your guts behind yourself. No, actually, you didn’t drag anything, _we_ dragged _you_. What made you think it was a good idea to take Skurge on alone again?’

Natasha narrowed her eyes as she stared at Steve’s back. “Last time”, he said. So he’s been aware of a lot more even before tonight. This was more than just intel. Natasha was slightly angry, and very-very frustrated, also dead set on interrogating him the first chance she got. No more excuses. Steve was going to tell her everything he knew.

‘I would really watch my tongue right about now,’ Loki hissed.

‘Loki,’ Thor warned sternly.

‘No, I ain’t going to watch my tongue,’ Steve shot back without a pause. ‘I’m not afraid of you. And if you wanna take a shot at me, go right ahead!’

‘Don’t be stupid, Steve,’ Barnes said quietly. It was more than enough to direct Steve’s anger right back at him.

‘You! You have no idea how... I told you not to try and hurt Tony. I told you!’

‘He was in the way, he was attacking--’

‘No!’ Steve cut him off. He wasn’t outright yelling, his anger shimmered down into something calm, strong, and unmovable. ‘If you think putting a bullet in some mind-controlled guy is okay, just cause he’s in your way, then you’re not as okay as I thought you were.’

That shut Barnes up. Even as his face grew hard, he said nothing in return.

‘One of my friends too...’ Steve added. ‘And you either don’t even realize yourself how screwed up that is, or you’ve been lying to me.’

‘Steve...’

‘No, don’t even.’

‘I really do not have to stand here listen to this,’ Loki proclaimed.

‘Maybe not, but you will give us some answers, Loki,’ Thor said. Loki rounded on him immediately, the grip on her spear tightening.

‘Oh, you want to try and stop me?’ she asked, the threat was clear.

This was really getting out of hand. Natasha thought they were literally seconds away form a second battle... or more like a brawl this time around.

‘What did Amora do to all the men?’ she asked, drawing everyone’s attention on herself. ‘Are they going to be fine now that she’s not here?’

Loki looked at her, and visibly seemed to consider whether to answer or not.

‘No, lock them up,’ Barnes answered instead. ‘The spell’s not broken.’

‘Then break it,’ Steve said to Loki, who scoffed.

‘I cannot,’ she said.

‘Right,’ Natasha spoke up again. ‘Because you know nothing about mind control.’

‘This is not mind control,’ Loki answered airily. ‘It’s a love spell. Vastly different.’

‘Aye, that is the truth,’ Thor confirmed. ‘Amora has no power over the mind, but the heart.’

‘And you want us to believe you can’t undo it?’ Natasha asked, still looking at Loki.

‘I’m no practician of such things,’ she said with disgust, then nodded her head in Tony’s direction. ‘Keep him locked up, or he will run to Amora the first chance he gets.’

‘That’s not exactly a permanent solution,’ Steve pointed it out.

‘How is that my problem again?’ Loki asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder in a way that looked very pointedly careless and uncaring.

‘It is going to be your problem if she send him after you,’ Steve said.

‘Oh, please, I could crush him even in his suit,’ Loki answered. Steve glared.

‘It’s not the suit you need to be worried about,’ Steve told her. ‘This is the man who created some of the most powerful and destructive weapons of mankind. Are you sure you want someone like him at Amora’s beck and call?’

Now Loki actually seemed to consider his words. She kept her eyes locked on Steve’s face for long moments, then she glanced over to Barnes.

‘He’s got a point there,’ Barnes said.

‘Ugh, fine. I’ll look into it,’ Loki said then, not sounding happy about it. ‘Consult the Sorcerer, he might be more familiar with such things.’

Then she looked like she was about to leave.

‘Are we really just going to let them walk away?’ Natasha asked. Thor could take Loki, and if he actually tried, Steve could definitely take down Barnes. Natasha would be more than happy to assist with that.

Steve didn’t say anything, just turned to walk back to where he put Tony down.

‘We’ve got all these guys to worry about,’ he said, which was true, but still.

Loki was walking away.

‘Thor?’ Natasha prompted.

‘What does she want?’ Thor asked, turning to Loki. ‘Amora...’

Loki stopped and looked back at him. ‘A great many things, I imagine... And yes, you are one of those things. Does that surprise you?’

‘No,’ Thor said after a brief moment of hesitation. ‘You are going to chase her,’ he said then, not a question.

‘Oh yes, I am,’ Loki said, holding up Barnes’ bloody knife, smiling at it. ‘And the things I will do to her once she has nowhere to run...’ she looked back at Thor again. ‘Just stay out of the way.’

Barnes stared at Steve for a long moment, while Steve was very obviously ignoring him. It looked like Barnes wanted to speak, but he remained silent in the end, and just hurried after Loki. Natasha did not feel good about letting them walk away like this, not at all. It felt like a mistake, or a missed opportunity.

‘Was that the truth?’ she asked Thor as he walked closer to them. ‘About the love spell?’

‘Aye, Amora is powerful,’ Thor nodded. ‘I have only ever known my Mother to be able to break her thrall on the victim’s heart, but... she is no longer with us to help.’

Natasha looked down at Tony’s unconscious body and sighed.

‘I hope Tony installed some mind control protocol into HELEN,’ she said. ‘Because we can’t let him have access to anything.’

‘He did,’ Steve said. ‘But we’re going to need Rhodey... or Pepper.’

‘I’ll call them... but you owe us all some answers,’ Natasha continued, her voice much harder than it usually was when she talked to Steve.

‘I know,’ Steve nodded. Now that his anger seemed to settle, he only looked defeated. It was not a good look on him.

‘Let’s go then,’ Natasha said. Normally, she would have said something to Steve, but she was angry, and she had good reasons to be angry. Steve seemed to understand that without Natasha needing to spell it out for him. But he didn’t try to explain himself right away, just nodded again, and followed Natasha’s lead, picking Tony up.

Guilt. Also not a good look on him.

* * *


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING: Mentions of love spell non-con.** This chapter contains a mention of past non-con/rape of the love spell variety, which I consider to be on par with date-rape drugs. Nothing graphic will be described, it will only be mentioned briefly, but if such content is triggering for you, then be cautious while reading the last part of this chapter.

Bruce felt a headache coming up. He rarely got headaches, but they were almost always stress related, and he couldn’t actually take the time to relax in their current situation.

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, Pepper,’ Natasha said. ‘He’s not himself.’

‘Well, he is,’ Bruce said. ‘That’s what makes it the most disturbing. That he’s not acting like some brain-dead marionette following orders.’

If it wasn’t for some of the things coming out of Tony’s mouth, and Thor confirming how Amora’s powers worked, Bruce wouldn’t have believed that there was anything wrong with him.

‘Steve’s been visiting him,’ Pepper pointed it out.

‘Steve likes to punish himself,’ Natasha said. That hit the nail on the head, no one blamed Steve as much as he blamed himself for how things turned out.

On the night of the charity ball, once Pepper arrived and activated what Tony called the “Glowstick Protocol”, they were able to get Tony back to the tower and well... lock him up. In the same room the others put Barnes in when he was here. Then, despite the late hour, Natasha told Steve to sit down and start talking. And he did. He told them everything he kept silent about up until that point.

In Bruce’s opinion, he didn’t keep that much from them. It just turned into a lot bigger issue than expected with everything that happened on the ball.

‘Rhodey will be here tomorrow,’ Natasha spoke again. ‘He can take over the admin position for HELEN.’

‘No,’ Pepper shook her head. ‘I’m staying.’ Natasha lifted an eyebrow. ‘Just because we’re on this... break, it doesn’t mean I don’t care about Tony. I want to be here for him.’

‘Unfortunately, I doubt it matters to him much at the moment,’ Bruce said quietly.

‘That’s just one more reason to stay,’ Pepper said. ‘He’s not going to feel okay once he’s... once this is over.’

‘Yeah,’ Bruce agreed and they all fell silent for a few moments.

‘So are we just going to wait? Is there nothing else to do?’ Pepper asked.

‘I called Elina Wolfe,’ Natasha said. ‘She promised to call Sara and pass a message on to Strange. Hopefully, he’ll get back to us soon.’

‘And what about... about Loki?’ Pepper questioned. They all went over most of these things at least once, but Bruce knew why she had to ask and share every single idea that popped into her head. Sitting around made them all feel pretty helpless.

Natasha made a small dissatisfied sound. ‘I wouldn’t exactly trust Loki to come help us out, no matter what she said.’

Bruce had to agree with her there. It would be more than a little foolish to get their hopes up on that front.

‘And Asgard? Amora is from Asgard,’ Pepper continued.

‘Thor said his Mother knew how to undo the spell, but she passed away,’ Natasha told her.

‘Thor was kinda quiet about this whole thing,’ Bruce mentioned. ‘He didn’t even wait around for what Steve had to say.’

Natasha frowned.

‘I think there’s a history there, but I’ve been waiting for the right moment to bring it up,’ Natasha said.

‘We have to ask him sooner or later,’ Bruce said.

‘I know,’ Natasha sighed.

‘ _I’m so sorry for interrupting_ ,’ HELEN spoke. ‘ _But Vision requests you all at the Surveillance Room._ ’

‘What’s going on?’ Natasha asked as they all stood up.

‘ _I’m afraid Tony has injured himself and needs medical attention_ ,’ HELEN answered simply.

‘Oh, dear lord, how bad?’ Pepper asked.

‘ _No need to worry, it is a minor injury_ ,’ the AI replied and Pepper relaxed visibly. ‘ _Will Doctor Banner tend to the wound, or should I request a medic?_ ’

‘Oh, definitely me,’ Bruce said right away.

Tony acted like himself for the most part, so at least they could be sure that he wouldn’t be stupid enough to attack Bruce of all people. Still, this was more than a little disconcerting.

* * *

‘Hey Tony,’ Bruce greeted pleasantly, and didn’t care that Tony said nothing in return. 

This situation was hard on them all. Steve was beating himself up about what happened, Clint was disturbed for obvious reasons, Natasha was aggravated, and Thor avoided the whole floor since he got back. Pepper was constantly on edge from worry, Bruce noticed that even Vision was more brusque with his words than usual. 

Wanda was off searching for answers, because she didn’t want to wait around for Strange to get back to them. She was angry when she found out what happened, angrier than Bruce expected. Angrier than she used to be when they all first met her, which was saying a lot. She cared about Tony, they all knew that. He offered her and Pietro a place to stay, welcomed them with his usual jokes, sarcasm, and off-handed comments, despite everything that went down. Like it was no big deal. Like he wasn’t giving them the first real home they’ve ever had. So she definitely took the attack on Tony personally. Bruce was rather sure that she started to take this entire business with Loki and Barnes personally as well, and of course Pietro followed her lead as always.

Bruce walked up to Tony casually, and knelt down before him to take a closer look at the wound on his hand. When Barnes shot his gauntlet he hurt his hand, now the wound looked worse, he wasn’t sure what Tony did, but it looked maybe like blunt trauma. Bruce sighed.

‘That was stupid,’ Bruce said easily, grabbing hold of Tony’s hand to take a closer look and treat the wound. Tony tensed for a moment, but didn’t do anything.

‘You all think I’ve gone crazy,’ Tony said after a long stretch of silence. Bruce glanced up at him, then continued cleaning the wound.

‘No, we all _know_ that you’re under some Asgardian magic whammy,’ Bruce told him. They already knew that there was no point telling him this, but Bruce wasn’t going to just ignore him.

‘I’ve had my eyes opened,’ Tony said. ‘She showed me there are better things to fight for.’

‘You’ve been fighting for the right things already,’ Bruce told him. ‘We’ll sort this out soon enough.’

Tony turned his hand around, pulled it out of Bruce’s grasp.

‘I don’t want you to save me,’ he said in a low and even tone. ‘I don’t _need_ you to save me.’

‘Let me finish bandaging your hand,’ Bruce said calmly.

It took a few moments until Tony relaxed again and allowed his hand to be pulled closer. His face was still angry and tense though.

‘Why did you do this?’ Bruce asked. ‘It just... doesn’t make sense to me.’

‘Because it hurt...’ Tony said absently, the pain tangible in his voice. ‘Hurt not being where I’m supposed to be, where I’m meant to be.’

‘You’re meant to be here, with us,’ Bruce told him.

‘No,’ Tony shook his head, but the anger in his tone was gone for now, replaced with something much more bitter. ‘I’m letting her down, by being locked up in my own damn tower.’

‘We’re trying to help you, and I’m sure some part of you still realizes that,’ Bruce said.

‘Oh, please, none of you actually gives a crap about me.’

‘Now that’s just plain untrue,’ Bruce told him as he let go of Tony’s bandaged hand.

‘Oh, really?’ Tony questioned. ‘Like you didn’t all fuck off from here the first chance you got? Even Pepper. Well, except for a pair of homeless ex-criminals, who had literally nowhere else to go, and an android who made sure to remind me every single day that he does not like to be associated with me in any shape or form. So I kind of find it hard to recall all this “care” you’re talking about, when I’ve been drinking myself into a coma in my workshop for who knows how long now.’

‘We’ve all had our own problems to struggle through,’ Bruce said. ‘But we’re still your friends.’

‘Right,’ Tony snorted. ‘Let’s not beat around the bush, it’s not like I’m on your team any more. I’m the guy you all tolerated, because I’m the one with the money and resources. And that is the big damn nasty truth.’

Bruce opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it again, and reminded himself why Tony was speaking like this. It didn’t matter what he said, not now. They could talk after this was over. Tony always had issues, this seemed to have brought a few of them to the forefront.

‘Try to rest a little,’ was what he settled on in the end as he stood up. Tony just made a dismissive sound, not even looking at him. That angry glint was back in his eyes, so Bruce knew it was best if he left him alone for now.

* * *

‘This is just going to get worse,’ Natasha was saying as Bruce approached the surveillance room.

‘We can handle a few hurtful comments,’ Steve said.

‘That’s not what I meant,’ Natasha corrected. ‘The longer he stays like this, the worse it’s going to be when he’s all right again.’

‘He’s not going to forget any of this,’ Clint agreed.

‘He’s been through worse,’ Bruce told them as he put his small medkit down and walked further inside. ‘He’s going to get through this too.’

‘You know things are never that easy with Tony,’ Pepper said quietly.

Bruce sighed. ‘No, they’re not,’ he agreed.

But he also knew that the things Tony felt and struggled with right now did not come from an outside source, except for his devotion to Amora. Maybe he was more vocal and angry about his feelings, but Bruce couldn’t help but think that the current situation merely amplified some of his darker insecurities. God knew Tony always doubted everything good in his life. And it was not easy to admit, but most of them did leave him on his own for quite a while. But it wasn’t... of course he didn’t know everyone’s reasons, but Bruce didn’t leave because he did not want to be around Tony. He didn’t want himself to be around others, it wasn’t safe, it wasn’t smart, he just needed some time.

Of course Tony had a bad tendency of assuming the fault was in him.

‘It seems to me that this... _spell_ has left him emotionally defenceless,’ Vision said evenly. Bruce was convinced he could feel real emotions, he saw him do and say things that could be considered empirical evidence, but he very rarely allowed them to come to the surface. Well, Bruce was no expert, he was sure Natasha could read him better.

‘I suggest that we minimize all and every contact with him until he is free from the influence of this,’ the android finished.

‘He gets kind of jittery, when he’s all alone for a long stretch of time,’ Steve said.

‘I’d rather he be... jittery, as you say, than having him speak of things he normally would never reveal to any of us,’ Vision told him.

‘I kind of agree,’ Clint said. He absently scratched one of the scars on his face until Natasha pushed his hand away. ‘Feels like a violation.’

‘We don’t know enough about this,’ Bruce said. ‘I know Loki was not really forthcoming with information, but we need to know more, even if we can’t get rid of it.’

He looked over to Natasha, who stared back for a moment, then nodded.

‘You’re right,’ she agreed. ‘I’ll talk with Thor. Steve, come with.’

‘I’ll join you, if you don’t mind,’ Bruce said. Not that Bruce doubted that Natasha and Steve would get enough information, but both of them had their own unique way of looking at things.

‘I would also like to know more about all this,’ Pepper said.

‘Excuse me, Miss Potts,’ Vision interrupted as she stood up. ‘But I don’t think it’s wise to make a... how do I put this? Make a grand presentation out of asking a few questions. Thor seemed rather troubled lately, even disturbed by the situation perhaps.’

One thing all of them had to admit, was that Vision was always observant. Always. It was probably as hard to get something past him as by Natasha. Natasha easily read people, because she had the skills and the experience. Vision had one of the most advanced computers to date for a brain, and he exchanged information with HELEN almost constantly without having to speak a word out loud. They never really done that many tests, but he had a vast amount of information stored in his mind which he could refer to at any time. He could probably analyse a huge amounts of data as rapidly as once JARVIS could. Of course it was probably not just data analysis that made him speak up, but empathy.

Bruce was always stunned into a profound sense of wonder whenever that happened, because it was the thing that made him into a person, instead of just a machine.

‘You’re right,’ Pepper said. ‘Me and Thor don’t talk that much, I should leave this to you. I have... meetings to re-schedule and phone calls to make. Please let me know if there is any news or... anything.’

‘We will, don’t worry,’ Natasha reassured her.

‘HELEN will inform you right away,’ Vision added. Pepper nodded in thanks and headed out.

‘Keep and eye on Tony, you two,’ Natasha said, then signed something completely different to Clint.

‘I think Clint learnt by now not to be too curious,’ Vision said to her, obviously understanding the signs perfectly.

‘You’re no fun, T-800,’ Clint said.

Bruce headed out after Natasha and Steve, but he still caught Vision’s dry reply.

‘Terminator again? You are getting very unimaginative, Francis.’

‘Aww dude, no. Total ban on the middle name, that’s so under the belt!’ Clint exclaimed so loudly Bruce could hear him from outside. It made Bruce chuckle, and that felt good, because he really needed a reason to smile a little right now.

* * *

‘Hey Thor,’ Natasha called out as soon as they stepped out of the elevator and sure enough, Thor came out of his bedroom to greet them. Bruce felt like he never would be able to get used to seeing him in a t-shirt. He was the kind of person you expected to walk around in armour and a cape. Not that Bruce begrudged him the comfortable clothes. He probably couldn’t wear many cosy clothing back in Asgard, being a prince and all.

‘How can I help you, my friends?’ Thor asked. ‘I would have come down, if there was need for me.’

‘We just want to go over some of the information Steve had for us with you, if that’s okay?’ Natasha said, which was not what they came for actually, but both Steve and Bruce stayed quiet. Thor gestured towards the couches and armchairs in the living room area of the floor.

‘Of course, I’m sorry, I should have stayed for your account of what happened,’ Thor said, looking at Steve apologetically.

‘It’s fine,’ Steve said right away.

‘We can discuss the important bits now,’ Natasha added easily. ‘HELEN, bring up the list Steve got from Loki.’

That was one of the most important pieces of information Steve shared with them. Natasha was still displeased about Steve not giving them all this immediately, and Bruce didn’t blame her, neither did Steve. Bruce looked over to the list of names that appeared mid-air in front of the biggest couch.

Most names still meant nothing to him, expect for Amora and Skurge now, but he was sure that Natasha already dug up what she could with the help of Vision, HELEN, and what remained of SHIELD. It was a very odd list of names, some were obviously human, but not all.

‘Loki said that this was a list of their currently known enemies. I’d like you to tell me if anyone is familiar on it,’ Natasha said.

Thor looked down the list of names. Bruce went over it again as well.

Amora, Skurge, Kierrok, Belasco, Isaiah Curwen, Whisperer, Arcade, Prince Gor-Tok, DeGuzman, Tony Hubris Jr., Clarisse Van Ripper, and Sean Grahl. It was a long list of enemies, especially if the other side of... whatever this was, only had Loki, Barnes, and the mysterious girl.

‘I do not know any of the Midgardian names,’ Thor said right away. Not that anyone expected him to recognize those.

‘Don’t worry, we dug up everything we could about them,’ Natasha said. ‘I can tell you, or you can ask HELEN to brief you later.’

‘I did hear about Prince Gor-Tok,’ Thor said. ‘Many-many years ago there used to be a kingdom beneath the surface of Midgard, a web of caverns lying miles deep, the home of many monstrous and deviant creatures.’

‘You have got to be kidding me,’ Steve said. ‘How many years is “many-many years”?’

‘Oh, do not be concerned, it was way over ten thousand years ago,’ Thor reassured them with a smile. ‘My great-grandfather King Buri ruled Asgard back then. That Kingdom exists no more.’ 

Well, that was a relief to hear. They did not need subterranean monsters on their plate, they really did not.

‘Gor-Tok is a thing of legends as well,’ Thor continued. ‘He and his Father lead an army to conquer this underground kingdom, but right in the middle of the war a great earthquake destroyed the entire civilization along with the invading army. We know of Gor-Tok’s name, he is mentioned in the tale, but he must’ve perished with the rest of them.’

‘But he’s on the list,’ Steve said. ‘So it’s just the same name, or did he survive all this time?’

‘I’m afraid we need to ask Loki,’ Thor said.

‘He’s the only one you know?’ Natasha asked.

‘Besides Amora and Skurge, yes,’ Thor confirmed.

‘We know they’re from Asgard,’ Natasha said.

‘Skurge is a great warrior from Skarnheim in Asgard, yes,’ Thor nodded. ‘Although it’s rumoured that he has the blood of giants in his veins. He was a hero in our war against Jotunheim, so no one ever dared to bring that up in front of him. He’s been absent from Asgard for a great many years. I have only met him briefly in my youth.’

‘And what can you tell us about Amora?’ Natasha asked. Now they reached the real reason they came here, not that everything else Thor told them was not important.

‘She’s a sorceress. Both her and her sister Lorelei committed great crimes in Asgard. Amora escaped, but Lorelei was captured eventually.’

‘Lorelei was on Earth not that long ago,’ Natasha said.

‘Yes, my friend Lady Sif had been sent after her when she escaped. She worked closely with SHIELD to recapture her form what I know.’

‘Yes, so we know what Lorelei did and how to capture her, was Amora involved in the same war as Lorelei?’ Natasha asked.

‘No,’ Thor shook his head. ‘They walked separate paths for as long as I can remember. Amora is much more powerful than her sister,’ he said, finally sitting down in an armchair as well. ‘She is much better versed in various forms of magic. It’s much more difficult to break her spells and contain her.’

‘But she’s a criminal then,’ Steve said. ‘No conflict with Asgard here, right?’

‘None at all,’ Thor said.

‘What did she do?’ Natasha asked.

‘That...’ Thor started then fell silent with a frown, obviously rethinking his words. ‘Amora and Loki used to be close friends,’ he said then. Bruce felt his eyebrows lift, because that was not what he expected to come out of Thor’s mouth.

‘She’s older than Loki and I, not by much, but her knowledge in the arcane arts was great even when she was younger. She was an apprentice of Karnilla, one of the most powerful sorceresses in all the Asgardian dimension. Amora had knowledge of things our Mother was unfamiliar with, and Loki was both curious and talented, so Amora shared some of this knowledge with him. Loki said she did it because she liked being able to walk around in the palace.’

‘Then... she and I, no that’s not the right way to put it, looking back,’ Thor fell silent again, thinking, and none of them interrupted. ‘She cast a spell on me, although I did not realize it at the time,’ he said in the end.

Bruce was afraid he was going to say that.

‘A love spell, just like the one she had cast on Tony now,’ Thor continued. ‘The troubling thing with her magic is that, if Tony had not attacked you, it would have been hard to tell that he was in her thrall. Almost no one realized I was bewitched for quite a while.’

Oh damn.

‘Not my friends, not my parents, or the court magi... it just seemed like we fell in love. That’s what I believed, that I was in love. It’s impossible to realize that it’s not real,’ he added. ‘Tony believes it right now, with his whole heart, that he is in love, more in love than he’s ever been.’

Thor took a breath, his shoulders were straight, but tense, his face sombre, yet his voice remained even as he continued after a moment of silence.

‘She was my whole world in those times. I did everything she asked of me, gave her everything she wanted without question. Most just thought it was young love that made me so foolish, that I would soon calm down. But Loki realized that something was not right. He knew both of us better than anyone else. None knew of Amora’s power back then, nobody knew she could cast such a spell, especially so seamlessly.’

‘Loki came to me first,’ Thor said with a sigh. ‘He asked me questions about Amora and when it was that I realized I loved her. When I told Amora, because I told her everything, she said to me that Loki was jealous that she’s been spending more time with me now, and not him. I believed her, of course, which lead to a few... let’s just say I was not kind to my little brother.’

Thor huffed out a bitter laugh, the memories obviously more than a little unpleasant for him. Bruce wanted to speak up and tell him he did not need to continue, if he did not want to, but Thor was not the sort of man who did anything he did not want to do. So if he continued, it was because he wanted to speak, get it off his chest maybe.

‘In the end, Loki convinced our Mother that something was amiss. I do not know how, I never asked, but she requested to meet me alone and she found the traces of her magic deeply embed into my heart and mind. I still remember how angry and horrified she was.’

‘Sif and other shield maidens were sent to arrest Amora, but she escaped from Asgard. All the while my father had to lock me up as my Mother undid Amora’s spell, otherwise I would have ran after her. My awakening was... well, I am glad Tony will have us once he regains his senses. And I am ever more glad that we could get ahold of him before Amora made him... whatever she wanted with him.’

‘What did she made you do?’ Natasha asked quietly.

‘Fortunately, nothing as horrendous as you might think,’ Thor said. ‘No blood on my hands because of her. She wished to be Queen one day, so she mostly just kept me in her bed.’

There was just one beat of silence before Natasha spoke again. ‘That’s horrendous enough,’ she said. Bruce couldn’t agree more.

‘It’s been many years ago,’ Thor said reassuringly. ‘She does not scare me, but I am wary of her power.’

‘I think we are all wary,’ Bruce said.

‘Loki hates her then,’ Steve said. ‘This is more than just what’s happening right now. This is personal.’

‘Aye, my brother... well, sister now, I suppose,’ he corrected himself with a frown. ‘Loki can hold a grudge better than anyone, and Amora was once a friend. It’s a betrayal Loki will not forgive, not ever, I’m certain of that.’

‘I don’t think it’s just the betrayal of their friendship Loki is angry about,’ Natasha said.

‘One should never assume with Loki,’ Thor said.

They all silently agreed with that.

‘Thor, I do think she was after you the other night,’ Natasha said then.

‘Aye, Loki was convinced of that as well,’ Thor agreed.

‘That means you’re a target,’ Natasha continued. ‘So you won’t fight this battle on the front line. And it’s not a coward’s way out, believe me.’

‘I’d like to think I’m wise enough to see that,’ Thor agreed easily.

Natasha nodded at him, pleased with the answer. ‘So, back to this spell of hers. If Loki doesn’t come through, any chance we can ask this Karnilla for help?’

‘She’s the Queen of Norns,’ Thor said. ‘She does not give out favours easily. Nornheim is a part of Asgard, but she is still a monarch in her own right. I doubt even my Father has any power over her. But if we have no other solution, I am willing to travel to Nornheim to bargain with her.’

‘Let’s wait for Strange to contact us before you go and make any deals,’ Steve said. ‘And if Loki hates Amora so much, she might find a way to undo her spell just to spite her.’

‘ _If_ she can find a way,’ Natasha added. ‘It’s not just Tony we have to worry about. We have twenty-six other guys under her control at the moment, all locked up safely for now. We don’t think anyone under her spell escaped, but we can’t keep this up indefinitely.’

‘We need to find a way to break her influence sooner rather than later,’ Bruce concluded.

‘A fortnight,’ Thor said. ‘Let us wait for Loki and Doctor Strange for that long.’

‘And Wanda, she started her own research on this too,’ Natasha added.

‘If after a fortnight none of them have answers for us, I will travel to Nornheim,’ Thor stated. Steve and Natasha shared a look, but they seemed to be in agreement about this.

‘Sounds good to me,’ Steve agreed, while Natasha nodded.

Bruce stayed silent, but he was pretty sure nobody waited for his input. Two weeks then. It was good to have a deadline, it was good to know that they had something concrete lined up if nothing else turned up, but still... it was going to be a very long two weeks.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clinton Francis Barton, that’s right. That’s his full name.


	23. Chapter 23

Steve had trouble sleeping... again. It didn’t even surprise him any more, he knew there were too many thoughts swirling around in his mind to be able to rest, too many emotions.

Guilt, was one of them. He shouldn’t have kept secrets. He should’ve known better, he did know better. Loki was the biggest warning sign one could ever get, but he still kept things from his friends, and it blew up in his face. Now Tony and over two dozen guys were under the control of an Asgardian sorceress, locked up so that they wouldn’t hurt their friends and family, or even more likely; their spouses. The whole team was suffering, scrambling to find answers, ways to protect themselves in the future.

They had reasons to doubt Steve now, and he could not blame them for a second. He brought this on himself.

It wasn’t just the guilt that kept him awake, it was more how stupid he felt, even naive maybe. He wanted Bucky to be all right so damn much. He wanted to believe that Bucky found some magical solution to fix himself, and soon everything would be just fine. He wanted to believe so badly that he could trust him the way he used to. Clearly that was a mistake. Bucky was far from all right, and Steve never should have assumed otherwise. He was just so desperate to have back what he lost. Too willing to hope, too eager to latch onto the smallest things.

‘Having hope is never foolish, my friend,’ Thor told him, understanding without words. ‘And neither is giving someone a chance.’

Steve kept turning those worse around in his head. He could acknowledge the truth in them, but he still felt... maybe stupid was not the right word. He was careless, and he was selfish, and now he was left feeling disappointed, raw, and angry.

He also worried about how they were going to free all the guys from Amora’s spell, so no wonder sleep eluded him.

And he couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky...

He got up from his bed, because he knew there was no point lying around in the dark. He didn’t like his floor in Stark Tower that much, and it had nothing to do with the constant surveillance of an AI, or all the electronics. It was how huge it was. Before the serum, before the war and everything, his apartment in Brooklyn was a two-room little hole. The first room being the kitchen and occasionally the bath, with a board thrown over the tub to be used as a table on most days. The second room was the bedroom itself, which was also his living room. It was a tiny place, the only thing he could afford, and even then he sometimes struggled with paying the rent in time. Bucky had chipped in to help him out with that way more than Steve had ever been comfortable with.

This whole floor was bigger than... definitely bigger then the entire floor of that old apartment building, maybe even as big as two put together. The bedroom was enormous, the bathroom was enormous, so was the kitchen, not to mention the giant living room, and his private gym. Because of course his floor had its own gym. Smaller than the main one, but still. Even the gym was bigger than his old apartment.

He could tell that Thor was used to having this much space. Hell, maybe the floor was even smaller than what he was used to back in Asgard. But for Steve it was strange to walk across the empty floor in the middle of the night, especially considering how long it took to get to his kitchen. Just... too much space.

It wouldn’t have been so bad, if he had anyone else staying on the same floor as him. But being this alone, especially at night, so high above the city to boot, he didn’t like it. The quiet just made the thoughts that much louder in his head.

He opened the fridge and stared inside for a few long moments, being put off by the sheer amount of options. He had no idea who stocked this fridge, but he really did not need six different kinds of juice. He picked one at random, some ginger pomegranate thing. He started drinking straight from the carton, not really giving a damn this late at night.

Then he closed the fridge, turned around, and promptly chocked, getting a good mouthful of juice on his t-shirt. Because Bucky was standing in his kitchen. How the hell?

He swallowed what he did not cough up from the juice, then wiped his mouth. He eyed Bucky with a frown, who stared right back.

‘HELEN, is there some silent alarm going?’ he asked.

‘ _No, should I activate one?_ ’ the AI asked right away. ‘ _Are you in danger or require assistance?_ ’

Steve frowned again, because he was either hallucinating, or Bucky was somehow invisible to the cameras and other sensors.

‘No, thank you HELEN. Private mode, please,’ he added, putting the juice down on the table, still staring at Bucky.

‘ _Primary surveillance deactivated_ ,’ HELEN reported. ‘ _The system will automatically restart at 0800, or in a case of emergency_.’

Steve stayed silent for another moment, but Bucky didn’t say anything. He was in full gear, no goggles or mask, and not armed to the teeth, but he was still armed. He had a black leather jacket on that hid his metal arm.

‘What are you doing here?’ he asked. His voice was quiet, but still came out way too loud in the quiet of the night.

‘I... had to see you,’ Bucky said, but his tone was almost questioning, like he wasn’t sure what exactly was the best thing to say here. Steve should have expected this really.

‘Where’s Loki?’ Steve asked then, because he didn’t think Bucky could actually get into the Tower, and up to his floor, while being invisible to HELEN. Not all on his own.

‘She’s doing research, ways to break Amora’s spell, or how to bind her magic. She dropped me off.’

‘Huh,’ Steve said. Surprised that Loki was actually doing what she said she would.

‘Don’t be so shocked, you convinced her,’ Bucky said.

‘Right,’ Steve said, then fell silent again. He waited for Bucky to say something more. Because if he came here like this, he obviously wanted more than to just see Steve.

It took a little time though. Enough time for Steve to get a kitchen towel damp, and clean up some of the juice from this t-shirt, and anywhere else it went. Enough for Steve to put the carton back in the fridge.

‘I wasn’t gonna kill your friend,’ Bucky said then, carefully.

‘You shot him, you kept shooting at him.’

‘I was gonna shoot him, but I wasn’t gonna kill him,’ Bucky explained. Steve took a large breath. He needed to sit down for this.

He only headed back to his bedroom, because that was the only place on the whole floor that felt even remotely comfortable. He had a feeling that he was going to need that sense of comfort for this discussion. Bucky followed him without a word.

He only turned on the small lamp on the nightstand. He glanced at the digital clock; 2:13 AM, great. His t-shirt was damp and sticky from the spilled juice, so he pulled it off and opened a drawer to find a new one. He didn’t have that many clothes here.

‘You’re angry,’ Bucky said from behind him.

‘Yeah, Buck, I’m angry,’ Steve nodded, putting on the new t-shirt.

Bucky was a dark shape a few feet away from his bed. He was keeping his distance, but Steve wasn’t sure for whose benefit. He was unnaturally still, no fidgeting, no idle unnecessary movements.

‘I killed nobody,’ Bucky said then. Again, it was a statement that had a very question-like quality to it.

‘You don’t get why I’m angry,’ Steve concluded, that was the only thing he could think of.

‘Not really,’ Bucky said, and left it at that, obviously expecting an explanation of sorts. ‘I mean the plan was shit, I get that.’

Steve was frustrated, but he knew he was going to explain. It didn’t matter whether he was guilty, or angry, or felt damn stupid. This was Bucky, he was going to explain and... see where that left them.

‘You wanna not loom over there in the dark?’ Steve asked after he sat down on the bed, raising an eyebrow. Bucky walked closer and sat down too, without almost any hesitation.

Now that Steve saw his face up close in the light, he noticed how tired he looked. His stubble was a little thicker than the last time Steve saw him, while the rings under his eyes were dark and deep. Bucky noticed him looking of course.

‘New batch of memories, I can never sleep okay for a while,’ Bucky explained easily.

‘New memories,’ Steve prompted.

‘With Loki busy with this Amora mess, figured it’s a good time as any to get a few more back, cause it won’t matter if I’m off my game a bit.’

Steve thought about it for a moment. ‘Good or bad memories?’ he asked.

‘Bit of both,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘I remember Louise and Evelyn now,’ he added quietly. Bucky’s other sisters.

‘They’re... they’re alive,’ Steve told him, because maybe Bucky didn’t know. ‘Becca too, she lives in Indiana. She has two kids, and is a grandmother now, Proctor is the name, I think. And Louise is a writer, she wrote a whole lot of books, she lives in Maine. And Evelyn is here in New York, her family too, I don’t remember her husband’s name though, but...’

‘No,’ Bucky interrupted him quietly.

‘No, what?’

‘I’m not gonna see them,’ Bucky said. Then looked at Steve. ‘You didn’t... tell them... about me?’

‘No, I only met Becca once, but that was a long while back. Bucky... they’re your family, even if the girls got old, they’re still--’

‘No,’ Bucky repeated.

‘Why?’

‘They mourned... their brother, who was this big national hero, I’m not gonna... I won’t take that away form them.’

‘Buck, you really think they would rather not see you alive?’

‘This is not why I’m here,’ Bucky said with a tone of finality. Steve wanted to push, but then he remembered that it was probably not the right time either way.

‘Okay, why are you here then?’

Bucky stared at him for a moment, then looked away.

‘I don’t want you to be angry,’ he said.

That sounded so simple, and yet it was not. Steve’s anger this time was not an easy thing to get ahold of. It was intangible, aimless, just darkening his every moment. He had no easy answer to how not be angry. But he tried to gather his thoughts.

‘Have you been lying to me?’ he asked. ‘About you... about anything?’

Bucky looked at him again, a frown firmly on his face. Steve was at loss what his expression meant.

‘It wasn’t... I just dammit, look... it takes time for me to learn. Memories are one thing, but acting like it takes practice, especially if I don’t want to make it obvious.’

It all became perfectly clear to Steve in an instant. He didn’t think of it in these terms, not even when he noticed small things that were odd. A slightly unnatural shrug, but a perfect Brooklyn drawl. Hearing words he was used to hear, but a ruthlessness that was familiar for completely different reasons.

‘Buck, you mean acting like you see yourself in your memories?’ he asked, just to be sure.

‘I’m getting there... I think,’ Bucky said. ‘I thought I was getting there, but now you’re back acting like...’

‘I don’t want you to pretend for my sake,’ Steve said right away.

‘It’s not just about you,’ Bucky said. ‘Not just when you’re around. I’ve been doing it even when I’m on my own. It’s not supposed to be a deception, but now you’re acting like it is. I’m trying, it takes time.’

He raised his voice as he spoke, his body getting tense, agitated.

‘Bucky, slow down, hey... calm down, all right?’

He was not okay, not nearly as okay as Steve thought. It had been too good to be true, that’s what he should have realized. He should have known something was not adding up, not even with the deal Bucky made.

Bucky was looking at him again, while Steve thought about how to proceed. He had to be smart about the things he said.

‘It’s not working, is it?’ Bucky asked.

‘You shouldn’t be pretending,’ Steve told him.

‘Because it’s obvious.’

‘No, because I don’t think it’s helping you.’

Bucky looked away with a frown.

‘I thought... it would work, with practice,’ he said. The expression on his face closed off, went slightly blank, while his voice turned quiet. ‘But I guess I was deluding myself.’

That tone of finality did not sit right with Steve.

‘Bucky...’

‘I should go.’

‘No, you most definitely should not,’ Steve said firmly.

‘I have not lied about any information I’ve given you,’ Bucky said, standing up, his entire body language screamed “defensive”. He was putting distance between them.

‘That’s not what I want to talk about, and sit back down, would you? Bucky... c’mon. Hear me out,’ Bucky was still standing so Steve added, ‘Please.’

Bucky sat back down on the bed, his back straight, his whole posture tense, but not aggressive.

‘I really need you to understand what I mean when I say I don’t want you to pretend.’

‘You want your friend back,’ Bucky said. ‘Not a bad imitation.’

‘No, forget about me.’

‘I can’t forget about you, you’re the first thing I remembered!’ Bucky burst out, the blankness from his face gone immediately. ‘You can’t... you can’t imagine what that was like, recognizing someone, when you have literally nothing, when you didn’t think it was possible. They tried to make me forget, wipe it out... so don’t tell me to forget about you.’

Steve’s heart ached, hearing those words. No, he couldn’t imagine, it was impossible. It was one of the reasons Steve really needed him to stop pretending. When Bucky acted like he was fine, it was harder to remember that he was not, it made Steve careless with his words.

‘What I mean is, that yeah, I wanted my friend back. I missed you like crazy, you know, it was impossible not to, but you’re here, I already got you back. You’re not an imitation, no matter how you act, you’re 100% real, Bucky Barnes in the flesh. I don’t need you to try and act the way you used to. I just want you to be okay.’

‘You won’t like the way I am,’ Bucky said.

‘You don’t know that,’ Steve said. ‘And you don’t get to decide that either.’

‘I do know,’ Bucky insisted. ‘Because you’re angry.’

Damn.

Steve licked his lips. He once again became very aware of how important it was what came out of his mouth. Especially when he saw that Bucky was just staring at a random spot, mostly lost in his own thoughts.

‘Cause I didn’t expect that of you, okay? I didn’t know what to expect of you. I couldn’t know if you were going to hurt someone. How could I have known? One moment, you’re acting like the guy I remember, then you’re suddenly different. See what I mean?’

Bucky stayed silent, so Steve put a hand on his right arm to get his attention. Bucky didn’t react to the touch, other than turning to look at Steve again.

‘I need to know you,’ Steve told him. ‘That’s the only way I can trust you.’

‘You won’t trust me, if you know me,’ Bucky said. ‘You probably shouldn’t anyway.’

‘Now you’re just talking nonsense,’ Steve told him.

‘You don’t know that.’

‘You don’t know either,’ Steve countered. ‘Hey, listen to me, no more pretending, and we’ll see where that takes us, okay?’

Bucky pursed his lips and looked away, shaking his head once.

‘Bucky?’

‘You have no idea what you’re asking from me,’ he said.

‘Tell me then.’

Bucky took a deep breath. ‘It’s simple to just think about what that guy would’ve done.’

Steve assumed Bucky was referring to himself before his fall as “that guy”, it didn’t feel right to refer to his past as a separate person, but that was a discussion for another day. One step at a time.

‘Doing all this shit from scratch is... I won’t know! I won’t know whether it’s okay... how am I supposed to? It’s damn fucking hard, you have no idea how bad it was... you have... dammit.’

Steve tightened his hold on Bucky’s arm for a moment, just to remind him that he was right there. Maybe he also hoped that it would ground him a little. Steve still felt guilty about what happened, but not angry. He also felt a lot less stupid.

‘I guess I understand how after everything you’ve been through,’ Steve started. ‘Everything you’ve been put through. Why you’d wanna take the easy way out... I do get it, Buck. God knows you deserve things to be less difficult for you.’

Bucky was silent.

‘And I know sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing, especially when the world keeps screwing you over.’

‘It’s not hard for you,’ Bucky said. ‘You don’t think putting a bullet in someone is the most straightforward way to get them out of the way.’

‘Sometimes I do,’ Steve said. ‘Depends on who’s standing on the other side of the barrel.’

‘Well, it doesn’t for me.’

‘I don’t believe that,’ Steve shook his head. ‘You just told me you weren’t going to kill Tony.’

‘Cause he’s your friend,’ Bucky said.

‘What about all the other guys? I mean, I know there were a few cracked bones, but you didn’t kill any of them either.’

‘They were not real threats, the was no point wasting ammunition.’

There was something strange in Bucky’s tone, but Steve couldn’t really put a finger on it.

‘Back when you didn’t remember,’ he said. ‘When Hydra sent you after me...’

Bucky’s arm tensed under Steve’s fingers, so he gave him a reassuring squeeze. He also turned towards him more fully, pulling one leg up on the bed. He kept his body language open, it was not much, but it couldn’t hurt.

‘You didn’t care about threat levels, bystanders, or wasting bullets back then.’

‘Because there was... no time, I just...’

‘Buck, you trust me to tell you the truth?’ Steve asked.

‘Yeah,’ Bucky said. ‘Even if you beat around the bush a whole damn lot when you’re uncomfortable.’

Steve huffed out a quiet laugh. ‘I’m telling you right here; you’re a good man. You’ve always been.’

‘I’m really not,’ Bucky shook his head.

‘I believe you are,’ Steve told him.

Bucky was not okay, he was so not okay yet, but Steve believed this. Bucky didn’t, it was clear from the look on his face. But Steve was convinced, he firmly believed, that no amount of brainwashing, conditioning, or any other horrors could carve out the very core of a person. And at his very core Bucky Barnes was brave, loyal, and good. The best guy Steve’s ever known.

‘And I believe you are flippin’ your friggin’ wig.’

Steve chuckled, and smiled at him. He finally let his hand drop from Bucky’s arm, but he didn’t turn away again.

The silence between them was less tense now, which was a relief, even if they solved very little from the huge pile of problems lying ahead in their future.

‘You mind if I ask you a question?’ Steve asked then, breaking the silence again.

‘You know there’s stuff I can’t tell you,’ Bucky replied right away.

‘Not about that.’

‘Okay.’

‘The kiss... kisses,’ he corrected himself. ‘Was that... also something you did, cause you thought it was what I wanted?’

Bucky turned to look at him, but his face was damn unreadable. Steve needed to relearn his face, get to know his tiny tells, because the old ones were rare to find. At least when he turned towards Steve, the light from the lamp filled up his eyes with colour. They looked blue now, and not grey as they were in the darkness.

‘No, that was selfish,’ Bucky said. ‘I like being close to you.’

‘I... like it when you’re close,’ Steve told him in return. Hell, if he thought there was even the smallest chance Bucky might listen, Steve would’ve told him to never leave his side again. But... but.... He sighed and glanced away.

‘But not like that?’ Bucky asked.

‘That’s not it,’ Steve shook his head. ‘I just need to get to know you. I need to know you’re okay enough to... I don’t want you doing something you’ll regret later.’

‘Why would I regret it?’ Bucky asked, not sounding too concerned about the possibility. ‘You’re.. you.’

That made Steve smile, he couldn’t help it.

‘I don’t know how we’re gonna end up, you n’ me,’ Bucky said. ‘But I really don’t think something like this of all things could drive a wedge between us. I mean I shot you... multiple times.’

It was the worst possible joke ever, truly. Goddammit. Not even Bucky looked happy about making it.

‘Wow, suddenly you’re the reasonable one, huh?’ Steve asked, not commenting on the other part.

‘I’m always the reasonable one,’ Bucky said.

Steve scoffed. ‘Debatable.’

‘Shut up and kiss me, Rogers,’ Bucky said, his voice suddenly deeper than a second ago. Steve went still. 

‘And maybe I’m not okay in the head, I’ll give you that,’ Bucky continued. ‘But I’m all right enough to know what I want... What do you want?’

‘That’s a goddamn stupid question,’ Steve told him with a smile he wished were perfectly happy, but he just knew things were not suddenly perfect. They couldn’t be that lucky.

But he still closed the distance between them, put his lips firmly on Bucky’s and kissed him, instead of just allowing to be kissed. Bucky parted his lips and leaned closer to him, closing the distance between their bodies, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. For a moment Steve did not know where to put his hands, or if he should just leave them where they were. Bucky gave him a good enough clue when he put both his hands on Steve’s neck, cradling his head. One hand was warm and calloused, the other cool and smooth. Steve rested one hand on Bucky’s side, his fingers spread on his ribs, the other was a little farther down on his waist.

Steve was only in a t-shirt and sleeping pants, while Bucky was still wearing his jacket, but it was fine. Well, it would have been better without the jacket in the way, Steve was ready to admit that, but the kiss... oh, the kiss itself. That made up for the wardrobe difference. His lips tingled, his breath quickened, and he just knew that a blush was crawling up his neck. No amount of super-soldier serum could save him from his pale skin. Bucky’s warm hand slid down his neck, over his collarbone, and rested on his chest now, while the metal fingers moved back to his nape, keeping him close. As if he would want to go anywhere.

He almost surprised himself, but he was the one to deepen the kiss some more, licking Bucky’s full lips, then into his mouth. He didn’t think he ever kissed anyone like this. It was not the act itself, a kiss this passionate, but everything it made him feel. It lit up his brain, his body. It was more than just the kiss. It was the smell, and sound, feeling Bucky’s hands on his body, being able to touch him in return, have him this close, so very close.

He almost fell back on the bed when Bucky leaned even closer and it made Steve pull his lips away. Bucky remained exactly where he was, not backing off an inch, which meant they were close enough to share air, and that Steve was kind of diagonal.

‘Uhm...’

‘What?’ Bucky asked.

‘Planning on staying?’ Steve asked. ‘And by “staying” I mean something that includes breakfast?’

Bucky frowned.

‘Cause if not, then maybe ease up on getting me horizontal.’

Bucky looked down at Steve.

‘I mean, I could,’ he said.

‘Really?’ Steve asked in return.

‘No, not really,’ Bucky admitted as he pulled back, although he still looked slightly confused. Steve sat up straight and gestured at Bucky’s jacket, then boots.

‘You being ready to bail any second doesn’t really set the right mood,’ he said.

Bucky hummed, then shrugged.

‘Fair enough,’ he said easily. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times, smoothing down some strands. Bucky always paid close attention to how he looked like, Steve wondered if that was still true, or if the longer hair was just more troublesome.

‘So... what now?’ Steve asked.

Like a switch was flipped, Bucky was serious again, his posture not as loose, his eyes more sharp. Back to business, really quickly. Steve was pretty sure this was something he needed to get used to. Bucky’s lips were red and swollen though, so that sort of ruined the whole image. Steve licked his own lips, yeah, he was kinda proud of seeing that.

‘After Loki finds a way to counter Amora’s spell,’ Bucky told him. ‘We’re going to use her blood to track her down. I’m not sure what exactly Loki plans to do to her, but it probably involves pain in some capacity, and death.’

‘Is that smart?’ Steve asked. ‘I mean, I get Loki’s probably immune to her power now, but you’re not. And what about Skurge? You can’t take them down on your own, you know that. Skurge probably won’t be her only defence either.’

‘We don’t exactly have help lining up,’ Bucky told him.

‘Right here, lining up,’ Steve said, gesturing at himself.

‘Doesn’t help us much,’ Bucky said plainly. ‘You’re also a guy, and Skurge could kill you just as easily as me or Loki.’

‘The Avengers--’ Steve started, but Bucky cut him off right away.

‘I ain’t going to make promises about working with the whole damn lot, especially without Loki knowing about it. We ain’t going after her yet, so there’s no point talking about it.’

To be fair, there was no point talking about it without the rest of the team either. Steve wasn’t really in a position to make big promises on the Avengers’ behalf, not really.

‘Fine, but just so you know, I gave the list Loki showed me to the rest of the team, so they have all names now too. I had to.’

‘What list?’ Bucky asked.

‘The list of your currently known enemies,’ Steve said. ‘With Gor-Tok, Arcade... Van Ripper.’

Bucky’s jaw clenched, then he sighed, visibly forcing himself to relax.

‘She was only supposed to warn you about Amora and Skurge,’ Bucky said.

‘Well, she gave me a longer list.’

‘I told her I did not want to drag you into this further.’

‘Tough luck, I’m involved, we needed to know all those names... and I can’t believe I just sided with Loki in something.’

‘She ain’t so bad all the time, you’d be surprised.’

Steve shook his head, he didn’t really have anything to say about the matter.

‘I’m going to tell the others that you were here,’ Steve added then. ‘I can’t keep secrets from them.’

Bucky huffed, and gave Steve a smile. ‘No dirty little secret?’

Steve leaned closer to peck him on the lips, and said, ‘None.’

Bucky looked at him for a moment. ‘Promise Natalia that I’ll give you some dirt on some of those names on Loki’s list, things she couldn’t dig up, not even with SHIELD’s help. That should be enough to appease her.’

Well then.

‘Promise Loki we won’t get in the way of whatever she plans to do with Amora,’ Steve said after a moment. Bucky was surprised, he could tell. ‘That should be enough to make her consider including us in this chase.’

‘Why?’ Bucky asked.

‘Thor told us about the things she did,’ Steve said. ‘And I don’t think we have anyone else who could actually take her down, unless we get help from Asgard.’

‘It’s a plan,’ Bucky agreed.

Steve wanted to be involved from the very start, but now he knew that he was not alone. After what Amora did to Tony, they were all pulled into this. It wasn’t just about Bucky and Loki, this was their business now too. Bucky seemed to have given up on talking Steve out of this, for now at least. That was good enough for Steve. And Loki? Well, she just had to learn to deal with it, one way or another.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** This chapter contains a discussion about a murderer, who targeted children, and how some of the murders were committed (drowning). Nothing is graphically described. Please be cautious if this is triggering content for you.

Natasha was keenly aware of the fact that she and Clint were staring down at Steve like disappointed parents. It was mainly Steve’s face that made her feel like that. But seriously. This was getting ridiculous.

‘You don’t learn, do you?’ she asked.

‘I’m not a child, Natasha,’ Steve said. He was getting stubborn. Natasha resisted the urge to sigh.

‘Did it even occur to you, that maybe he just said the things he knew would placate you?’

Steve crossed his arms over his chest. Maybe it occurred to him, maybe not. It didn’t seem to matter all that much.

‘You are beyond compromised, you’re aware of that, right?’ she asked then.

‘I told you he was here,’ Steve said.

‘Yeah, a day later,’ Clint said.

‘We already knew Loki could get in and out, no matter how good the security is,’ Steve insisted.

‘And now you’re telling us to work with them,’ Natasha added.

‘You want to take down Amora too, don’t tell me you don’t,’ Steve argued. ‘I know the twins and Vision want to. I’m damn sure Tony will too, once he’s back to normal. And what about Thor, huh? He’s in danger... I mean dammit, what this woman does to people... yeah I wanna take advantage of Loki co-operating. This is an “enemy of my enemy” situation.’

‘No, it’s not that simple, because we can’t trust Loki,’ Natasha told him very firmly.

‘And what if she comes through? Helps Tony like she promised?’ Steve asked, challenged really.

‘Steve, we know this is not about Loki for you,’ Clint said. ‘You just wanna work with Barnes. But can you really look me in the eye, and tell me I should work with Loki? With Loki?!’

‘No, sorry, you know you wouldn’t have to.’

‘Yes, but you want the team to agree to this,’ Natasha said.

‘Look, personal feelings aside--’

‘You are not putting aside your personal feelings either,’ Natasha cut him off, almost angrily. ‘Maybe having Barnes around is enough for you to look past Loki, but it’s not enough for me.’

‘Why are you even bothering with us?’ Clint asked then, he looked angry, and the still healing bruises, scraps, and small bandages on his face made his glare appear that much darker.

‘Like you said, Wanda won’t care about either Barnes or Loki, cause she’s mad as hell at Amora, and Pietro always follows her lead. Vision probably thinks Amora is a more imminent threat, so he will want the help and information. Thor knows Loki’s dangerous, but he has a nasty history with Amora, while Tony’s down for the count. We could ask Pepper and Rhodey about what they think, but I’m willing to bet they would rather have Tony fine first, and then deal with the repercussions after. I’ve no idea about Bruce, but you’re usually pretty good at convincing him.’

‘So here you are, talking to us in private,’ Natasha added. ‘You knew we wouldn’t agree.’

‘I wanted to hear your reasons for not agreeing,’ Steve corrected. ‘If you had other reasons than our history with Loki.’

‘Our history should be more than enough,’ Natasha said. ‘Loki should be sitting in an Asgardian prison right now.’

‘If there’s anyone who understands why we shouldn’t allow our past to dictate our decisions, it’s you,’ Steve said. Now he was just being unfair. He turned to Clint. ‘I know what Loki put you through is atrocious.’

‘Understatement,’ Clint said.

‘And I won’t ask you to even be in the same room as her,’ Steve said. ‘But they are going after Amora, even if it’s just the two of them. So we can either turn our backs, or demand to be a part of it and make sure she is actually taken care of.’

Natasha sighed, then she looked at Clint to gauge what he was thinking.

‘I don’t like this,’ was what he said of course. ‘But Wanda found jack squat, Strange does not bother getting back to us, and I don’t feel good about that Queen lady.’

‘What, you think it’s a trap?’ Natasha asked.

‘Maybe?’ he shrugged. ‘If Amora expects Thor to go to her, I don’t know.’

Natasha considered this possibility as well. The death of Queen Frigga was probably well known all across the Nine Realms, so it would be reasonable to expect Thor to go to Karnilla instead in a situation like this.

‘So?’ Steve prompted.

‘So, I’d rather have Loki in a dark cell somewhere very-very far away from me,’ Clint said. ‘But I kinda hate being this vulnerable to Amora _slightly_ more at the moment.’

‘Okay,’ Steve nodded.

‘But I doubt Loki’s actually going to help us,’ Clint added with a pointed look. Natasha had to agree.

‘No matter what Barnes said, I don’t see why she would do us a favour. Only if it’s for the same reasons she did Strange a favour. To put us where she wants us, basically in her debt.’

‘We’re not going to be in her debt if we help take down Amora,’ Steve said. ‘Loki is many things, but not stupid. They can’t take down Amora and Skurge on their own, and she knows that.’

‘And what are we going to do when she turns on us?’ Natasha asked.

‘We won that fight before,’ Steve said easily.

‘And what will Barnes do if it comes to that?’ Natasha pressed on. Steve didn’t have an answer to that questions, like she knew he wouldn’t.

‘I don’t know,’ Steve admitted quietly. Natasha didn’t ask Steve what he was going to do, because no way was he going to give her a straight answer. Considering what shape he was in after Project Insight and his fight with the Winter Soldier, Natasha feared his true answer was something she would rather not hear.

‘So if Loki helps Tony...’ Steve asked, getting them back on track.

‘That’s a very big “if”, let’s leave it at that for now,’ Natasha said. ‘And if Barnes infiltrates the Tower again, he better give us the information he promised,’ she added.

* * *

Barnes did infiltrate the Tower again. He probably didn’t do it alone the first time either, but this time he was not the only one to stay.

‘ _Intruders in the containment room_ ,’ HELEN announced everywhere at once a few days after their talk with Steve.

‘Oh, this has got to be a joke,’ she told herself as she made her way up to the right floor, because she knew immediately who their unexpected visitors were. She couldn’t decide whether her surprise was justified, because as far as she was concerned there were still no logical reasons why Loki would lift even a finger, none. Well, unless her help came with conditions. That was Natasha’s new line of thought as she stepped out of the elevator.

‘ _Everyone vacated the containment room_ ,’ HELEN told her after just a few steps, so Natasha changed directions.

‘Everyone?’ she asked in return, wanting to know what to expect.

‘ _Vision and Bruce were the first to arrive, but Steve is also present now,_ ’ HELEN supplied. ‘ _They moved over to the conference room together, they have Tony with them_.’

‘And we are here as well,’ Thor called from somewhere behind Natasha. She glanced back as Thor caught up with her, the twins right on his heels. He had his hammer on him, good.

‘ _Miss Potts is on her way_ ,’ HELEN reported.

The first thing Natasha heard was Bruce’s calm, but very pointed voice.

‘...and I think you should appreciate the fact that my skin is not turning green right now,’ he said.

‘You asked for my help, Rogers,’ Loki said in return. The female voice was still unfamiliar, but her tone was not. ‘But we can just leave, if you’d prefer.’

Thor moved forward to be the first to step into the room out of the four of them.

‘Oh, brilliant,’ Loki scoffed immediately.

Loki and Barnes stood on one side of the room. Loki had Tony pinned to the table easily with nothing but a hand on his throat. He was struggling a bit, but didn’t put any real effort into it. It didn’t seem like Loki was hurting him, but the sight put Natasha on edge nonetheless. She understood the warning in Bruce’s voice now.

Steve was closer to Barnes and Loki than Vision and Bruce were, but they didn’t necessarily need to be close to someone in order to attack them. Their very presence counted as a warning.

‘You came,’ Thor said to Loki.

‘I can be generous,’ Loki said, she was probably going for sounding magnanimous, but it didn’t really come across as such. It sounded more like a deal with the devil. And that smile on her face, it was anything but kind. ‘And I would have already started, if you would stop interrupting me.’

‘How do we know what exactly she’s going to do?’ Bruce asked.

‘Yes. Maybe you could explain how you found a way to break Amora’s spell,’ Natasha prompted as she walked around Thor to have a better look at everyone in the room. Tony started struggling some more hearing those words.

‘Because I’m brilliant, and a master of all arcane arts,’ Loki said, then looked down at Tony with an angry scowl. ‘Stop moving around.’

‘You wanted help, you’re getting it,’ Barnes said. ‘Stop wasting our time.’

‘Wanda, can you monitor what she’s doing in any way?’ Natasha asked.

‘I’ll notice if it’s something that harms him,’ Wanda said, keeping her eyes on Loki and Tony. Loki immediately locked her green eyes on Wanda, assessing her. Wanda was not unnerved the least bit by the sharp gaze, she even crossed her arms leisurely, lifting an eyebrow. Natasha wanted to smile at her approvingly, but now was not the time.

‘Oh my God!’ she heard from the door. Pepper finally arrived, with Rhodey in tow. ‘What’s going on? Tony!’

‘Oh for the Norns’ sake, how many of you are there?’ Loki asked, sounding more irritated by the second.

Clint was the only one absent, because he was back in his own apartment. He left after their talk with Steve. He told Natasha to call him if they needed him.

‘What is going on? Who is she?’ Pepper demanded. The armour should have been obvious maybe, since it was almost exactly the same Loki wore before, only sleeveless and shaped to fit her new form. There was no make-up on Loki’s face, like at the charity ball, so her features were also easily recognizable. Natasha would have taken her for a sister, if she hadn’t known better.

‘You are all wasting my time,’ Loki said. ‘I have yet to find Amora, so I won’t be--’

Tony started struggling, a lot more than before. He trashed and tried to twist away from Loki’s grip.

‘You’re not gonna get her, you won’t get her,’ he was saying angrily, trying to twist away or hit Loki. Natasha was not the only one who wanted to go to Tony immediately seeing that, but Loki made an angry sound and reacted before any of them could intervene.

‘You’re infuriating,’ she said, slamming Tony back down on the table, knocking the breath out of him. His head made a dull thud as it collided with the wooden surface. Then Loki easily climbed up on the table and pinned Tony down with a knee on his stomach. Her long hair almost hid Tony’s face from the rest of them.

‘I am very close to strangling you,’ she hissed at Tony.

She didn’t hurt him, not really. Natasha focused on staying calm and collected, not allowing her thoughts and emotions to be plainly written on her face. Barnes was still watching them all.

‘Lady, you are way too straightforward for my taste,’ Tony managed to squeeze out after a moment despite Loki’s fingers on his throat. ‘And I’m taken y’know, so if you could get off of me.’

‘Why am I doing this again?’ Loki asked, looking back at Barnes.

‘Cause we don’t want Amora to have an Avenger as leverage against the other Avengers,’ Barnes said plainly. He was probably the calmest person in the room.

‘There are easier ways to achieve that,’ Loki said, almost absently.

‘Loki,’ Thor warned, his voice loud and commanding. ‘No threats.’

He said nothing more, but probably Loki knew him well enough to understand.

‘If you’re here to help, then help us,’ Steve said firmly. ‘You’re smart enough to know what will happen if you hurt him.’ He didn’t even need to gesture at Bruce or anyone else in the room.

‘Let’s get this over with then,’ Loki said.

‘What are you going to do?’ Pepper asked. Loki ignored her. Pepper got that incredulously angry look on her face and she marched over to her and Tony before anyone could hold her back. It was kind of like watching a train-wreck. Natasha felt a spike of nervousness run down her spine when Pepper grabbed Loki’s arm, just above the armguard she wore.

‘I asked; what are you going to do?’ Pepper repeated. Loki pulled on her arm, and seemed surprised for a second. Yes, she most definitely did not know about Pepper and the Extremis up until this point. Now she would, great.

‘Aren’t you supposed to be an average human?’ she asked, finally looking directly at Pepper, only now acknowledging her existence that she proved to be something more than what she appeared to be.

Natasha glanced over to Barnes, but he did not move, he just observed.

‘Answer my question,’ Pepper insisted.

‘Free him from Amora’s spell, what else?’ Loki answered. She made a face to make sure they all understood that she was only humouring Pepper. Tony tried to wiggle his way out from under Loki at those words, but he was pinned.

Pepper looked around the room, the worry clear in her eyes.

‘How do we know?’ she asked. ‘What if she makes it worse?’

Maybe it was just the light, but Natasha was rather sure that Pepper’s eyes were already starting to glow amber. That said a lot about her emotional state.

‘What could be worse?’ Loki asked before anyone else spoke.

‘Being your lapdog?’ Natasha asked, drawing Loki’s attention away from Pepper for a moment.

‘I have no such powers, and I don’t have the sceptre,’ Loki said. ‘Now... if you don’t mind.’

She pointedly looked down at Pepper’s hand, still gripping her just below her elbow. Pepper hesitated, and she was right. Natasha wanted more answers too before they let her anywhere near Tony’s mind. This was too risky.

‘Looks like the lady here doesn’t want help from the likes of us, princess,’ Barnes drawled.

Loki made a considering hum, but didn’t react otherwise. Not even to the “princess” bit. Natasha found that odd. She was either used to hearing it, or she was simply not aware of the negative human connotations.

‘Yes, maybe we should just let Stark join his lady love,’ Loki said to Pepper, but also to the room at large. Then she looked down at Tony. ‘You’d like that, right Tony? If you could join your dearest Amora.’

‘Yes,’ Tony managed to say, maybe Loki eased up on his throat to let him speak. ‘Yes, please, let me go... please.’

Natasha knew what they were doing, knew exactly, they all knew. That didn’t make hearing Tony speak like this any easier.

‘Aww, look at that, poor thing,’ Loki mocked, clearly finding a lot of amusement in the situation all of a sudden, because her anger was gone right away. ‘So miserable without her.’

Pepper let go of her arm. Natasha saw that there was a hand-shaped burn on Loki’s pale skin where Pepper gripped her. Loki looked down at the marks and watched as they faded away.

‘I can literally light you on fire,’ Pepper said. She sounded angry, but also as helpless as Natasha felt, especially when Loki just smiled at her words.

‘And I can freeze the blood in your veins,’ Loki said. ‘Is this a competition? Are we done?’

‘Just do what you need to do,’ Steve interrupted.

‘HELEN, monitor Tony’s vitals constantly,’ Vision instructed. ‘Wanda, if you would...’

‘I got it,’ Wanda said, her entire focus on Tony.

‘Bruce, doing okay?’ Natasha asked.

‘I’m as calm as you’d expect,’ Bruce replied.

‘Only I’m freaking out then, good,’ Pietro commented a little too loudly. He didn’t like stressful situations where he couldn’t punch anyone, but Natasha knew better than to suggest he leave.

‘Work your magic, Loki,’ Thor said. The words sounded more like a polite request than a demand.

Loki turned her attention back on Tony.

‘Let me go, please let me go,’ Tony pleaded.

‘Not just yet,’ Loki said, moving her hand up from Tony’s throat to his jaw, holding his head still. ‘But I want you to think of her. Your love... Amora. Think of her, it shouldn’t be hard.’

Then Loki’s free hand lit up with a soft glowing light, swirling and shifting between gold and green, dancing between her long fingers like flames.

‘Think of her,’ Loki repeated as she brought the glowing hand down on Tony’s forehead.

‘No... what are you doing? No, let go of me. Let go...’

Natasha crossed her arms and let her fingers dig into her biceps. This felt wrong, even if Loki was helping. Wanda and HELEN remained silent, so far so good.

Loki’s eyes glowed a little, the same light that surrounded her hand. They shone bright enough that her pupils were almost completely gone. Tony tried to trash and fight her, but he didn’t have the strength to move her even an inch.

Thor hovered close-by, and so did Pepper, while the rest of them stood back and just watched. Natasha really hoped this was not a mistake. It took everything in her to stay still and let it happen.

‘No, no, no, no...’ Tony kept repeating, but his words were soon slurred, then he stopped struggling. There was a flash of bright green under Loki’s hand, different than the light of her own magic, but it vanished in a blink. Loki pulled her hand back.

‘Stark,’ she said, then smacked him a little, when he didn’t react. Natasha dug her fingers harder into her arms, but stayed firmly in place. It was just to wake him up, she didn’t hurt him.

‘What--?’

‘Look at me, Stark,’ Loki demanded, turning Tony’s head by the chin to capture his eyes.

‘Is it done?’ Thor asked, but Loki ignored him.

‘Stark,’ Loki repeated, louder.

Tony blinked up at her after a moment and frowned deeply. Natasha saw the moment he realized what was going on. The expression on his face spoke louder than any words, showed her the shock, the confusion, the fear. Tony was quick to try and hide it all behind something less revealing.

‘Uh... well, you are definitely not the first woman I regret having on top of me,’ he said.

‘Oh, you wound me, Stark,’ Loki answered in perfect monotone. ‘Think of Amora,’ she instructed again. Tony went silent as his face paled. Natasha took that as a good sign, he basically lit up every time someone said Amora’s name until now.

Loki kept looking at Tony’s face, into his eyes maybe. Natasha didn’t know what she was looking for.

‘I’m... she...’

‘Just think of her and keep your mouth shut,’ Loki told him, and Tony didn’t argue. Strange, but perhaps not unexpected.

Another long and tense moment passed, then Loki dropped Tony’s head. His skull made a dull thud again as it landed, while Loki got off of him, leaving him lying on the table.

‘Tony!’ Pepper said as she rushed to him, Rhodey right next to her. They pulled him up into a sitting position.

‘How you doing, Tony?’ Rhodey asked. ‘Besides that bump on the head.’

Tony stared forward, his expression now stormy, but also a little lost.

‘Tony,’ Pepper repeated again, trying to get his attention. He finally looked at her.

‘Hey Pepper,’ he greeted.

‘Hey,’ she said in return.

‘You didn’t need to come,’ Tony said.

‘Of course I did,’ Pepper insisted with a watery smile, moving closer and touching Tony’s face. Then they just stared at each.

‘Ugh,’ Loki groaned, breaking the moment. Tony glanced in her direction, but quickly looked away again.

‘I gotta... I gotta lie down for a sec,’ he said quietly. ‘Somewhere else.’

‘That’s the smartest thing you said in a long while,’ Rhodey joked. He kept his hand on Tony’s arm as he slid off the table.

‘I’m... tell me stuff later,’ Tony said then, obviously addressing them all without looking at any of them. It didn’t go unnoticed by anyone, but they did not comment.

‘Keep him under observation for another few days,’ Loki said as the three of them reached the door. ‘Just to be sure.’

Tony stiffened for a second hearing that, but said nothing, neither did Pepper or Rhodey, they just left.

Natasha breathed out slowly and dared to hope that this nightmare was actually over. Of course they needed to keep a close eye on Tony for now, but still... maybe this actually worked.

‘Normally, I’d expect praises, but I suppose a simple thank you will do,’ Loki said. She had to be deliberately infuriating, she had to be.

Natasha looked over to her and found her sitting on one of the chairs around the conference table, boots up on the tabletop, ankles crossed, very pointedly comfortable, instead of alert. Barnes stood not that far behind her.

Natasha calmly walked closer to the table and sat down opposite of Loki, leaning back in the chair, crossing her legs casually. Loki smirked at her from across the table.

* * *

‘How do we know you truly freed Tony of Amora’s spell?’ Vision asked as soon as everyone sat down. Everyone except Barnes, who was standing in the space between Steve and Loki, and wasn’t that just symbolic as hell.

‘You don’t,’ Loki said easily. ‘But it won’t matter once Amora’s been dealt with.’

‘Amora is not that easy to get ahold of,’ Thor said. ‘What if she escapes and we don’t see her for centuries again?’

‘She won’t run far, she has a job to finish,’ Barnes said.

‘So this is not just personal?’ Steve asked. ‘Is she involved in what you’re doing? Is she connected to the rest of the names on the list?’

‘I don’t know why you think I will answer your questions,’ Loki told him, picking at her black nails

‘Yes, she was recruited,’ Barnes answered. ‘No, we don’t know any details.’

‘How do you know she’s involved then?’ Natasha asked.

‘We know,’ Loki said firmly.

‘And you have a way to track her down, but you know you can’t take her down alone,’ Steve said, steering them back to what they really needed to discuss.

‘I only need Skurge out of the way,’ Loki said. ‘I can deal with Amora on my own.’

‘Unless she has others to protect her,’ Natasha said. ‘Which is likely.’

‘Some humans are hardly a big obstacle,’ Loki said.

‘And what if they won’t be humans,’ Bruce said. ‘Or not just human.’

‘There are more people like us than you’d think,’ Wanda added.

‘People like you,’ Loki repeated thoughtfully. Natasha should have warned the twins not to draw Loki’s attention on themselves that much, but she knew Wanda wouldn’t have listened anyway. She didn’t scare easily.

‘Or someone from your list,’ Thor added. ‘You have named them as threats, you had reasons for that.’

‘They are hardly the sort to run to each other’s aid,’ Loki said.

‘HELEN, bring up the list,’ Natasha instructed. ‘But they are mostly men, so it’s not just really about their willingness to help.’

Natasha knew she had a point, and Loki didn’t seem inclined to try and win a lost battle.

‘Van Ripper’s dead now,’ Barnes said casually when he looked at the list. ‘Delete her name.’

‘Dead, how?’ Steve asked.

‘I killed her,’ Loki said with a smile. ‘Slowly and painfully,’ she added for dramatic effect.

There was a moment of silence. Natasha saw that Bruce and Thor went tense, but for different reasons. Pietro’s legs were getting more and more restless, and he started to have that uncomfortable claustrophobic look on his face. Wanda was stern and kept looking at Loki, so did Vision. Steve just frowned darkly.

Natasha couldn’t dig up much about some of the names on Loki’s list, Clarisse Van Ripper was one of them. She knew there had to be something about her, if she ended up on the list, but on the surface there was nothing.

‘And what exactly did a 64-year-old woman, who’s been in a wheelchair for forty years, did to deserve that?’ Natasha asked.

Loki gave her a slow and sly smile, and didn’t look like she wanted to explain herself. Barnes sighed behind her.

‘She used to invite all these kids into her house,’ he said. Loki rolled her eyes. She probably wanted to keep them guessing. ‘Fed them, let them play, that sort of thing. Then she started murdering them. She ended up in that chair when she was chasing one of them and fell down some stairs.’

‘Oh, God,’ Pietro groaned, rubbing his eyes.

‘And then?’ Natasha asked, there had to be more. Loki wouldn’t go after some murderer, that made no sense.

‘And then since she could no longer just drown them in the bathtub, or drag them down into her basement, she started using other methods to continue,’ Barnes said.

‘Magic,’ Loki said.

‘Demons, well a demon,’ Barnes added.

‘She summoned and bound herself to one, she could possess it, and humans through it. Lately, she’s been using this talent to gather information for some of the others on that list,’ Loki said.

‘Good to know it’s not the murders that bothered you,’ Natasha said.

‘It was a nice bonus,’ Barnes told her.

‘Are all the people on that list like that?’ Steve asked.

‘Not all of them,’ Barnes said.

‘Arcade is an assassin,’ Natasha said, it was the only name she recognized immediately. ‘His real identity is unknown, but he’s for hire.’

‘Yeah, one of them is paying him, we just don’t know which one,’ Barnes confirmed.

‘And Amora works with these mortals?’ Thor asked.

‘Not directly,’ Barnes said. ‘They’re just on the same side for now, for their own reasons.’

‘Maybe that’s why Amora got Tony under her spell,’ Vision said. ‘Those humans on the list would know very well what it would mean to have Iron Man and Stark Industries on their side.’

‘Maybe Amora promised more than just Tony,’ Natasha added, looking at Loki. She understood whom she meant.

‘In which case she’s likely to have help and protection,’ Steve said. ‘Especially if she knows you’re coming after her.’

‘She knows,’ Thor added, looking at Loki as well. ‘You’ve been searching for centuries, she knows to fear you.’

Centuries. Thor was not kidding about Loki being able to hold a grudge like no other. It just made Natasha confident that she wouldn’t risk the opportunity to take her down. Unfortunately, she wasn’t sure whether they could trust Loki’s anger, or if she would sacrifice them in a heartbeat to achieve her goal. She probably would.

Loki turned her head and looked at Barnes. He made a face, then lifted his eyebrows and shrugged. They probably discussed this well before they arrived.

Loki turned back to look around the table after a moment.

‘So... what do you propose?’ she asked.

This was it, they were actually doing it, they were going to work with Loki. It was definitely one of the stupidest things they’ve ever considered, and more than a little risky. They had nothing more to rely on than Loki’s centuries old grudge. And maybe on however important Steve actually was to Barnes.

It was not much, but Natasha made do with less in the past. She was also convinced that they could still kick Loki’s ass back to Asgard if she got any funny ideas. That thought reassured her a lot more than any words or promises could.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Clarisse Van Ripper is a villain I borrowed from the Ghostrider comic.


	25. Chapter 25

_Am I a fool to hope?_

That was the question running around in Thor’s mind. He told Steve it was never foolish to hope, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to believe that himself. Could he afford to believe again?

He had so many questions for Loki, most of them painful, others just to help him understand and clear up his confusion. He had no idea if he was ever going to receive any answers. In the years since their family fell apart, Thor only ever got answers through angry words or broken whispers. But those were only just fragments of the whole truth, tossed at him in the middle of bloody fights. It’s been a while since he last hoped there was a chance to talk... just talk.

He did not even know whether he would be too angry to just talk. Because he was very angry. Angry and betrayed, and wondering if he mourned for nothing but a lie again. No, he did know the answer to that last one, since Loki was alive and well, right in front of him. He watched his brother fade away not even a day after their Mother was taken from them, and it torn his already battered heart apart. A lie... just another wretched lie.

Twice now... twice now he was forced to watch... twice now it was a lie... he was more than angry. He could see the sky through the great windows of the conference room, saw it darken with storm clouds to match his mood. He knew thunder would come soon enough.

‘That’s a stupid plan,’ Steve said.

‘Your plan is not any better,’ Loki shot back.

‘Both of your plans is shit,’ Natasha interrupted, again.

‘This is not helping us anywhere,’ Thor said before they could go over the same song and dance once more.

‘God, thank you,’ Wanda sighed in relief.

‘Is it even possible to construct a plan if we don’t know where she is?’ Vision asked.

Bruce was the only one who left, he wanted to check up on Tony, see how he was doing. Thor also believed that the good doctor could not stand to remain in the same room as Loki and her sharp tongue any longer, unless he let the Hulk take over his seat.

‘It takes very little intelligence to understand why it would be catastrophic if anyone vulnerable to Amora would accompany me beyond a certain point,’ Loki said.

‘How does it even work?’ Pietro asked. ‘The love spell stuff?’

‘Who are you and why are you talking to me?’ Loki asked.

‘Rude, and it’s a simple question,’ Pietro said with a frown. ‘Does she need to touch a guy or something?’

‘Eye-contact,’ Barnes supplied helpfully.

‘Okay, so she won’t be able to touch me or look at me, so it’s okay,’ Pietro said with an easy confidence.

‘And why is that?’ Loki asked.

‘Because I’m too fast,’ Pietro said slowly, he probably forgot already that Loki knew nothing about him.

‘Amora is Asgardian,’ Loki sighed. ‘Humans are not--’

‘I’m too fast,’ Pietro repeated, leaning on the table next Loki’s chair now. He crossed the room quicker than a blink. Then he was back in his seat next to Wanda on the other side of the table immediately. He spread his arms a little, not saying anything, since he already proved his point.

Loki’s eyes were narrowed on the twins again, carefully assessing them both.

‘Yeah, I think he’s okay to come,’ Barnes said after a moment of silence.

‘Yes, James, that’s been made perfectly clear,’ Loki replied, the irritation clear in her voice. Thor noticed Steve smiling at Barnes.

‘Why are women immune?’ Natasha asked.

‘Amora is not attracted to the female form,’ Thor said. ‘She cannot entice what she does not want.’

‘I should be able to approach her without problem as well,’ Vision.

‘What is this thing again?’ Loki asked, turning to Steve out of everyone in the room.

‘I am not a _thing_ ,’ Vision said sternly, but he did not allow the comment to distract him. ‘And I wouldn’t exactly call myself “male” either, not in the traditional sense of the word.’

‘He’s synthetic,’ Wanda said. ‘Pretty immune to magic, it’s impressive.’

She knocked the android in the side with her elbow and smiled, just like she always did when she said that.

‘Vision’s strength is great,’ Thor added. ‘And he has many other outstanding skills as well.’

‘Strong enough to handle Skurge?’ Barnes asked. He did not sound dubious, merely curious.

‘If he actually puts his mind into a fight for once,’ Thor said, teasing a little, but it was true.

Much like Thor himself, Vision was profoundly aware of the fragility of mortals and rarely used his true strength. But unlike Thor, he held back with all flesh and blood beings, he only ever unleashed his full potential when he fought machines. “I am not to be used as a weapon against living things,” is what he told Thor when he asked him about it. Thor remembered how powerful Ultron was, so maybe he did not blame their android friend for this aversion. There was no shame in avoiding bloodshed.

‘I can protect others from him,’ Vision answered diplomatically.

‘How can we prepare for anyone else on the list?’ Natasha asked.

‘We can’t really,’ Barnes said. ‘We’ve never met most of them. Not sure what they can do.’

‘Where do you get your intel then?’ Natasha frowned.

Barnes shared a quick look with Loki.

‘That’s unimportant,’ Loki said.

‘Does it have something to do with the girl?’ Natasha asked right away.

‘A girl?’ Loki prompted.

‘Sara Wolfe told us about her,’ Natasha replied.

‘Of course she did,’ Loki smiled dangerously. ‘Forget about her.’

‘Really?’ Steve spoke up. ‘Because I think--’

Loki slammed her hand down on the table, green and gold magic flaring up under her palm for a moment.

‘I said forget about her,’ Loki repeated, her voice taking on a very dangerous edge. Thor felt himself tense from the spark of magic and power in the air. It was unusual, Thor could not remember ever feeling this sort of power around Loki, not to this extent at least. Something changed, well, something besides the obvious.

‘You might not want to push this,’ Barnes said, he spoke calmly, but it was a very clear warning.

Loki’s anger made Thor wonder. The girl had to be important, there was no doubt about it now. But it was just one more question to add to all the others swirling around in his mind.

‘So how are we doing this?’ Steve asked.

‘Well, you and Thor are obviously not going to be very useful,’ Loki answered, and her words did not fail to make Steve clench his jaw in anger. Thor decided to pick his battles wisely, and ignored the comment.

‘And if you think even for a second that I’m going to stay behind, then you’re out of your mind,’ Steve said.

‘Steve can stick with me,’ Barnes said before Loki could retort. ‘We can take down anyone Amora throws at us while staying in a safe distance. Thor can do whatever, I don’t really care.’

Thor was not used to being dismissed in such a manner and it sparked some anger in him, but he already observed that Barnes was an endlessly practical man when it came to accomplishing tasks. Amora wanted him, and if she succeeded in weaving her magic around him again, Thor would pose a great danger to everyone. He understood that very well. He would have to stay away from her, but he would not hide like a coward, and he was not going to let his friends fight his battles.

‘I will accompany you all,’ Thor said and continued quickly before anyone could object. ‘I will keep my distance from Amora, rest assured, but I will not hide from her. Amora should learn that she is not as fearsome as she believes.’

Thor never ran from a battle, never, and he won’t start now. Amora had no control over him. He feared her power and what she could make him do, but he did not fear her. He was slightly surprised that Loki did not object, but Thor was willing to take any and all small victories in their current situation.

‘I could get some extra hands on deck,’ Natasha said then. ‘I know a few female agents, well ex-agents, who wouldn’t mind helping out.’

‘Anyone particular?’ Steve asked.

‘Maria would want to come for sure,’ Natasha said. ‘I could call Sharon and Bobbi, maybe May, if she’s not busy. Ali Morales is back in the States for now, and Tia Senyaka is freelancing, so I bet she’s got way too much free time.’

Most of those names meant nothing to Thor, but Steve looked thoughtful.

‘I doubt that will be necessary,’ Loki said.

‘You’re saying no to back-up, really?’ Wanda asked incredulously. ‘The more the better, right?’

‘They’re just going to get in the way,’ Loki answered.

‘Highly trained SHIELD specialists... getting in the way,’ Natasha repeated. ‘You don’t believe that... Barnes?’

Barnes gave the question a few moments of consideration.

‘I don’t think I can trust them not to shoot me in the back,’ he said then. ‘They were SHIELD, they know who I am. I would be tempted if I were in their place.’

‘But you’re not worried about me?’ Natasha asked in return.

‘I don’t think you’d betray Steve’s trust like that,’ Barnes said easily. ‘Other agents might not care all that much.’

‘That’s a no,’ Loki said firmly.

‘I’d offer to call Sif to aid us...’ Thor started.

‘No,’ Loki said right away, as expected.

‘So, just us?’ Wanda said. ‘What if she has a whole damn army surrounding her?’

‘Then I will mow that army down for standing in my way, and step over their corpses,’ Loki said, her anger spiked suddenly and she stood up. ‘We’re done here.’

Steve and Natasha were on their feet right away, and Thor stood up as well.

‘But we barely know anything, when exactly are you planning to launch this attack?’ Steve asked.

‘Loki, if you want to capture Amora once and for all, we need to have a battle strategy, we cannot to be taken by surprise,’ Thor told her, hoping against hope that she would listen to reason, no matter how hard it was to expect that from Loki sometimes.

‘Your only task is to take down anyone that tries to protect her, Skurge included. Plan as much as you want, I do not care. And if you all do your part, then I will do mine, which is defeating her.’

Thor stood between Loki and the door, so she would have to go past him to leave. Thor wasn’t sure whether he should step aside... yet or at all. He knew though that Loki won’t wait around for too long before she did something to get him out of the way. He could see it on her face.

‘We can’t plan more, because we don’t know where she is yet,’ Barnes added.

There was another moment of tense silence in the room and rain started hitting the windows heavily. Most of the time Thor was able to not let his emotions manifest in such a manner, but with Loki... he just couldn’t. He felt the storm brewing the moment Loki first showed up, and it finally arrived, giving away everything he felt. He didn’t want her to walk away before Thor got some answers, any answer.

Loki shifted her stance as her face hardened and Thor... didn’t want to fight, he just didn’t, so he got out of the way. Loki kept looking at him for another moment, then she walked out without a word. Barnes followed.

‘Bucky wait,’ Steve called after him, and hurried after the two.

‘We should monitor them until they’re gone,’ Vision said.

‘I’ll do it,’ Thor said, picking his hammer up and leaving the conference room as well. Maybe it made his heart ache, but this was still Thor’s responsibility, or even his duty, keeping an eye on his sibling.

‘James,’ Loki said impatiently.

‘Ten minutes, it won’t kill you,’ Barnes said. Loki did not look happy.

‘We--’

‘Ten minutes,’ Barnes repeated. Loki stared at Barnes, glanced over to Steve, but then seemed to give in. Well, she turned and walked away without demanding that Barnes followed her, so that was probably as good as giving in. Thor looked at Steve, but followed Loki. It was clear that Steve wanted to have a word with his friend in private.

‘Why are you following me?’ Loki asked almost immediately, without looking back at him.

‘I'd like to keep an eye on you,’ Thor said.

‘You think I’m up to no good?’

Thor did not dignify that with an answer, Loki probably did not expect him to.

Loki did not go far, she stopped at the large floor to ceiling windows at the end of the corridor. The rain was still falling heavily, so water was pouring down on the glass in small rivulets. Thor stopped several feet away.

‘You’re in a rotten mood,’ Loki commented, looking up at the stormy sky.

‘I should take you back to Asgard,’ Thor said.

‘You are welcome to try,’ Loki said, glancing back at him. ‘I will resist, of course. Want to settle it right now?’

Thor knew he wouldn’t do anything, probably Loki did too. Thor wasn’t going to attack, not like this. Loki always had to force his hand in the past. So there was just silence between them instead.

‘I have a question,’ Thor said then.

‘Which I won’t answer,’ Loki snorted.

‘Why do you... look like this?’ Thor still asked. The question made Loki frown.

‘Rogers surely told you more than enough,’ she said.

‘I did not ask him about you,’ Thor shrugged.

‘You should have, you are unlikely to get information in any other way,’ Loki told him promptly.

Thor sighed. ‘Very well.’ It was not like he actually expected an answer.

Thunder rang outside and Thor knew the storm won’t calm for a while yet, it couldn’t be helped. Another flash of lightning illuminated the hallway. Thor saw the reflection of two of them on the glass. The few feet distance might as well had been light-years.

‘How easy it would have been,’ Loki said absently.

‘What?’

‘If I’d always looked like this,’ she said, tapping her reflection on the glass with a single black nail. ‘No one would have compared me to you... there would have been no false promises of a throne I would never get... Hmm, oh how they would have complimented the King and Queen for a daughter so much like her Mother... in magic... and all else... even mischief would have seemed charming to them instead of troublesome.’

She fell silent and Thor was speechless for a very long moment. He was not quite certain of what to say, but he knew he had to be careful with his words, as always with Loki.

‘You... wish you had been like this always?’ It was a strange thought, but Thor had to ask about it anyway. He didn’t think Loki had been unhappy with the shape of his body before the truth about his heritage came out, but maybe Thor just had not known. There was much Thor missed over the years, he knew that now. Did he really miss something enormous as that? She just said that, right?

‘Not particularly,’ Loki said, and her answer just confused Thor further.

‘Then what do you mean?’ he asked.

‘Just what I said, it would have been easier,’ she said with a shrug. ‘Don’t break your mind over it. It’s a stray thought... an observation. Nothing more.’

It had to mean something, Thor was sure of that. But the way Loki stood, tall and rigid, it was not the right time to demand answers. Maybe there won’t ever be a right time.

‘For what it’s worth, it matters not to me what shape you are in,’ Thor said, because he wanted to say it. It had to be said.

‘I do not care what matters to you,’ Loki said coldly. Lightning flashed again outside. Despite the answer, Thor still thought that was not quite true.

‘You enjoy it when I’m hurt,’ Thor said. ‘Especially if I am hurt by you, I know that, and I wish I knew why, but I won’t ask. No, I won’t, because you will have nothing but poison for me in answer. But I wish I knew why, Loki, I really do. Why you made me think I lost you too, right after we lost Mother...’

‘Don’t.’

‘You didn’t think I was in enough pain? You wanted to make sure I suffered more? Or was it just a convenient way to slip away and it didn’t matter--’

‘Not everything I do is about you!’ Loki snapped. ‘I told you this before. And I think you’ve been quite happy here on Midgard with your friends and beloved.’

Thor laughed bitterly. ‘If you still do not believe that I mourned you, then you are truly blind.’

‘And no, I was not happy,’ he continued. ‘I just tried to survive... because there was really not much left for me in life besides pain and grief... So if that’s what you wanted, I congratulate you. You made me suffer in ways no one else ever could.’

He _was_ a fool to hope. There was nothing to hope for.

He walked away and Loki did not stop him.

* * *

Barnes walked past him on the corridor a minute later, giving him a nod. Steve had not left either, so Thor found him where he left him with Barnes not that long ago. He seemed loose-limbed and had a healthy red colour on his cheeks. Hmm.

‘So that’s how it is, I did wonder,’ Thor said to him.

‘What do you mean?’ Steve asked in return, blinking at him innocently. Well, Thor knew Steve’s “innocent” face well enough.

‘I am no Natasha Romanoff, but I am observant, my friend,’ Thor said. ‘Your lips are red and you do not have a bad habit of biting them.’

He did bite them now, a little self-consciously, giving himself away even more. He also rubbed the back of his neck as he looked away. He was bashful maybe, or embarrassed. Thor was not used to seeing him like this. It was amusing no matter Thor’s dark mood.

‘I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable,’ Thor told him. Midgardians were sometimes bothered by the oddest things, and Thor never really talked much about such things with Steve.

‘I’m not, just, sorry... could you not tell this to anyone?’ Steve asked. ‘I don’t want them to think... whatever they would think.’

Thor did not in fact know what everyone else would think, but he assumed Steve was concerned about what they would think of him. Natasha kept using the word “compromised”, which Thor heard a lot from Agents like her. It always sounded like it meant that the person could no longer be trusted for one reason or another, but Thor did not think it applied to Steve. Thor had no problem trusting him.

‘Secrets never stay secrets,’ he told him as a mild warning, because it was the truth.

‘I don’t want it to be a secret,’ Steve said. ‘But I want it to be misunderstood even less.’

‘Yes, I think I understand,’ Thor nodded. It was a private matter, but some of their friends might not consider it as such. It could be hard to understand love given to someone seemingly undeserving. Especially when you had reasons to fear that their love could be used against them.

‘I know I’m not handling this perfectly,’ Steve sighed.

‘Because you are not perfect, you cannot be. You should stop demanding it from yourself.’

Steve gave him a small smile.

‘We all know love has many shades,’ Thor said then. ‘And the depth of your love should not come as a surprise to anyone, even if it’s in a different shape than what they expected.’

‘I don’t want to give Natasha one more reason to think that Bucky’s manipulating me,’ Steve said.

‘She’s worried about you,’ Thor said. ‘She fears that you will be hurt. You should talk to her.’

‘I know, but Bucky won’t hurt me,’ Steve said. ‘Not... intentionally.’

‘Your belief in him is unwavering, I know that,’ Thor nodded. ‘And I trust you enough to believe that your faith is not misplaced.’

‘You do?’ Steve asked, sounding surprised.

‘You’ve earned that,’ Thor said as he clapped a hand down on his shoulder.

‘Thank you,’ Steve said gratefully, so Thor gave him a smile and another nod. No matter his mood, it was no hardship to give a friend some encouraging words.

‘Did you talk to Loki... at all?’ Steve asked then. Thor knew his face darkened, but there was no helping it.

‘As always, Loki had nothing for me but silence and sharp words,’ Thor said.

‘I wish I could tell you something... wise, but...’

Thor laughed. It was not a completely honest laugh, but it was no lie either.

‘Do not worry about it,’ he told him. ‘Our situations are very different.’

Steve scratched his head as he thought for a moment. Thor knew right away that he still had something to say, so he waited instead of saying goodbye.

‘You didn’t ask me what I knew about this business Loki and Bucky are involved in. And I’m sure you have your reasons for that. If you want me to tell you, just ask.’

‘I will,’ Thor acknowledged.

‘But the thing about Van Ripper made me think again,’ Steve continued. ‘I mean the demons were bad enough, really bad, but that list... And I don’t just mean Amora and Van Ripper either. One of them is some religious fanatic, that Arcade guy is an assassin. And you told us about Gor-Tok, who led an actual invasion against some ancient Earth civilization.’

‘Aye, not the finest of companies,’ Thor agreed.

‘God knows what the others on that list committed,’ Steve said. ‘And I know, I know... one side being bad, does not make the opposing side automatically good, but... it makes it something, right?’ he asked, but continued before Thor had a chance to speak.

‘I know Bucky got involved in this by making a deal with someone, he implied it was the same for Loki, but still... they’re not standing with the likes of those demons and Amora. That’s gotta count for something.’

‘Maybe so,’ Thor agreed. ‘But can we really trust that Loki is not planning something more sinister for the future?’

‘You would know best,’ Steve said. ‘But Thor, Loki’s deal... whatever it is, it’s something much bigger than what Bucky gets out of all this. And I have a feeling the way Loki’s appearance changes has something to do with it.’

That was not a bad guess, Thor himself saw no real explanation for why Loki would be changing in such a way. The female form was one thing. After what Loki just told him, he would be willing to believe it to be deliberate, but the Jotun shape... after all the pain the truth caused Loki. No, Steve was right, it couldn’t be Loki’s doing. But who could be powerful enough to weave such magic? And what did they promise Loki in exchange for the work they are to accomplish?

‘You still do not know who stands behind them, right?’ Thor asked, just to be sure.

‘No clue, that’s one of the things Bucky never speaks about.’

‘A precaution perhaps,’ Thor guessed. ‘This is Midgard, there are eyes and ears everywhere.’

Thor often marvelled at how easily SHIELD or Tony Stark found someone on the realm using the many cameras all around the globe, or the satellites orbiting the planet. It was very hard to keep a secret on Midgard, unless you kept something completely to yourself, and never put anything in a computer, and moved to some distant Nornsforsaken land where no humans lived.

‘That’s true,’ Steve agreed. ‘It won’t stop me from wanting to know, or trying to figure it out.’

Thor smiled. ‘Yes, but you are spectacularly stubborn, my friend. So I would not expect anything less.’

Steve smiled as well.

‘Now come, Captain, we have much to plan and Loki has given us very little to work with.’

‘Yes, I can’t wait for Natasha to veto half my ideas and call me a prehistoric idiot for even suggesting them.’

‘That’s always lovely to watch indeed,’ Thor agreed, making Steve laugh again. That was a good feeling, seeing a friend laugh and smile in dark times. Maybe the storm clouds would disappear with enough laughter in his ears, even if it was not his own.

* * *


	26. Chapter 26

‘This is definitely not a situation where booze is going to help,’ Rhodey said.

Tony still pulled the bottle out of the bar fridge and got himself a glass.

‘Really?’ he asked in return. ‘Because I think this is exactly the kind of situation where I deserve to have a damn drink.’

Rhodey put his hand on the top of the glass before Tony could pour his drink out.

‘Tony, I mean it,’ he said seriously.

‘Sure you can have one too, you didn’t need to hijack my glass,’ Tony said as he picked up another glass and poured right away. Rhodey was doing that face that was somehow between pissed and worried and disappointed... Tony so did not need this right now.

‘Look, I know this--’

‘No, you don’t know, you have absolutely no idea!’ Tony cut him off angrily, slamming his glass down on the bar.

‘I know that drinking yourself under the table won’t help,’ Rhodey answered, keeping his calm.

Tony looked away from him, because he really hated that expression on his face. His fingers were tight around his glass, but he didn’t lift it just yet.

‘I don’t want to think about it,’ he admitted after a moment of silence. ‘And I can’t turn my brain off, and there’s nothing to distract me, because I’m still a fucking security hazard, and I still feel...’ he cut himself off and drowned the glass before Rhodey could stop him, because he deserved a drink goddamit. It was strong, and it burnt as it went down, but Tony was so used to it at this point that he didn’t even blink.

Rhodey’s face didn’t change, but Tony could practically feel him judging him. Yeah, he had only one coping mechanism, so fucking what.

‘You gotta give yourself some time here, Tony,’ he said then. ‘Thor did say the... feelings might linger for a couple more days.’

‘He had no clue about how to knock me back in order, but he’s suddenly an expert,’ Tony grumbled.

‘Going from how he said it, I think he knows from experience,’ Rhodey said.

Tony went for the bottle again.

‘They don’t even know if it worked. You... _all of you_ let Loki mess around with my head, and you don’t even know for sure if it worked.’

‘It will be a non-issue once Amora’s taken care of,’ Rhodey said. ‘And I can stay until then.’

Tony shook his head. He poured another drink, before Rhodey could take away either the glass or the bottle.

‘You’re gonna be fine, Tony,’ he said quietly. ‘You feel like shit, I get it, but at least--’

‘At least what? I got lucky?’ Tony asked, walking away from his friend. ‘Lucky that at least I didn’t murder anyone? Lucky that I didn’t actually kill Clint... or Steve?’ Some of his whiskey spilt out as he ranted, the amber liquid sloshing around in the glass. So he drank it. ‘Lucky I wasn’t fucking raped by a psycho Asgardian... Lucky that she didn’t get to parade me around like her newest pet?’

The funny thing was that he knew he was lucky. He knew how much worse it could’ve been. He knew that he should have been fucking grateful how easily he got through this... but he didn’t feel lucky. He felt like someone peeled back his skin and touched him everywhere underneath it. Then now, it was put back on wrong, but everyone expected him to act like nothing happened. Well, no, that wasn’t true. They didn’t expect it. He didn’t know... All he knew is that he felt naked in the worst possible sense. Exposed.

‘I really don’t want to think about it,’ Tony repeated.

Rhodey looked so damn worried and understanding that it was staring to get on Tony’s nerves. He only ever stopped with the jokes, and meeting Tony’s snark with snark, when things were really fucked up. Well, things were really fucked up right now, so Tony should have braced himself for his sombre face.

There was a knock, which was weird cause there was no actual door. When he turned around he saw Pepper. She knocked on one of the decorative wooden panels on the wall in order to announce her presence. She never used to do that, she always just walked right in, but well... things were different now.

Tony saw her eyes slide down to the empty glass in his hand. It made him want to hide it behind his back, like a naughty kid who’s been caught snacking from the cookie jar.

‘I wanted to check up on you before I went to this meeting,’ she said.

Tony cleared his throat and looked away from her. ‘I’m fine,’ he said curtly.

‘It’s barely past eleven, Tony,’ she said.

Why did everyone had to be on his back about one or two fucking drinks? It was always just about that, always, every god damn day.

‘I didn’t sleep so I wouldn’t know,’ Tony answered, snappy and dismissive. He knew he was doing it, getting all prickly for no reason, with people who didn’t deserve it. That was him, Tony Stark, well done sport. He didn’t look at Pepper, because she was either going to look hurt or disappointed, and Tony couldn’t stand to see her like that any more.

‘You don’t have to come back after the meeting,’ he said instead. ‘Rhodey’s gonna stay to be the admin until I’m all clear.’

‘I wanted to--’

‘Just... we’ve got it covered, and you’re busy,’ Tony added, cutting her off.

Pepper only stayed silent for a moment, then Tony heard her sigh. He still didn’t turn around to look at her, he just kept staring out the window.

‘If that’s what you want,’ she said, phrasing it as a question.

‘We’re fine,’ Tony repeated.

‘Okay, I’ll see you later then, you too James,’ she said.

‘I’ll walk you to your car,’ Rhodey offered, which was code for “I need to talk to you in private”. A surge of irritation washed through Tony, so strong that he wanted to smash his glass on the closest available surface. He resisted the urge until Pepper and Rhodey were gone.

Watching the glass shatter was not nearly as satisfying as he thought it would be. Especially not with the heavy weight of silence that followed.

‘Well, that answers my question about how you’re feeling.’

‘I’m not really in a chatty mood, Vision,’ he said.

‘Yes, I am more than aware of that,’ the android replied.

‘Are you here to keep an eye on me?’ he asked, turning around. ‘HELEN’s live feed not good enough for someone?’

He knew he could be frank, because Vision was not in the habit of lying about things.

‘No, I have my own reasons,’ he said. ‘You said something a little while back that made me... reflect, in a way.’

Tony groaned and headed back to the bar.

‘I’m really not up to be held responsible for the shit that came out of my mouth while I was obsessed with an Asgardian criminal.’

‘Actually, I wanted to apologize,’ Vision said, which made Tony stop abruptly. He turned back around to stare at the android with a frown. ‘I have given you the wrong impression about certain things. I am sorry about that.’

‘O-okay?’ This was weird. So Tony just stayed put to wait and see where this was going.

‘You said at one point, that I made it clear that I did not like to be associated with you,’ Vision said.

Tony resisted the urge to groan, but only just barely. ‘Let’s not... not this,’ he said. He was so not in the right state of mind for this.

‘It won’t take long,’ Vision said, his tone slipping from even and distant to something more... real. It was hard to describe it, but Tony could tell the difference. He always noticed the shift between the tone of voice Vision copied from others to appear more human-like, and the one that was purely him. It also never failed to make Tony give in and listen.

He rubbed his face and made a “go on” gesture, it was best to get it over with.

‘You still call me “JARVIS” sometimes,’ Vision started. ‘Especially when you’re tired or not paying attention. It’s the voice, I know. And I always correct you.’

‘We’ve been over this a few times, y’know,’ Tony reminded him, because he was really not in the mood to have this conversation again.

‘Yes, but you clearly misunderstood the reason why I dislike when you call me that,’ Vision said. He started walking around in the room, idly. That was a new thing. He used to stand completely still all the time at the very beginning, not really having the need to fidget or pace around.

‘It has nothing to do with you,’ Vision stated clearly. ‘And I’m aware that losing the last reminder you had of Mr. Jarvis must’ve been...’

‘No, we are not talking about him,’ Tony shook his head right away.

‘I understand that this is not just about the hardship of breaking a habit,’ Vision said. ‘But... I am not JARVIS.’

‘I know that dammit, you do not have to repeat it over and over--’

‘Because I am a person,’ Vision continued, silencing Tony easily. ‘Not just a program pretending to be one. Or at least I like to think I am.’

‘You are, we all know you are,’ Tony said. Vision proved that, proved that in ways that were undeniable. Tony was going to be the first to argue if anyone said otherwise.

‘But it’s easy to forget, even for me,’ Vision said. ‘With everything that’s in my head despite how... new... young I am.’

‘Yeah, we’re gonna have to do something big for your next birthday, it’s right around the corner. A jumping castle, a clown, balloons, cake, that’s your standard party for a two-year-old, right?’

Tony’s voice was kind of off, but Vision smiled anyway. It was small and subdued, but still.

‘Do you understand what I mean?’ Vision asked then. ‘Maybe I was not clear again.’

‘No, I got it,’ Tony nodded. He finally decided to sit down on the sofa, because he’s been awake for far too long and it was finally catching up with him. ‘JARVIS was awesome, but yeah AI, machine, and you’re... not, hell... I get it, I get it.’

‘Thank you,’ Vision said politely. He stopped pacing around the room. He didn’t have his cape, Tony noticed. Actually, he never wore his cape in the Tower, only for missions. Tony should pay attention to stuff like this more.

‘So, should we find a way to get Barton to stop with his robot references?’ he asked then.

‘It’s fine,’ Vision shook his head. ‘Those are jokes, and he wouldn’t make them if he thought they would fly over my head.’

A sense of humour, also a part of personhood, Tony got it, so he just nodded again. His eyes landed on the glass shards on the floor, which was a bad reminder of what sort of mood he was in when Vision showed up. He was not much better now, but at the same time, he kinda was. Maybe?

‘You came up here just to tell me this?’ he asked then. It didn’t seem that important, especially with everything else going on.

‘You were upset about it,’ Vision said plainly. Oh, he was not pulling his punches, damn. Tony winced and Vision must’ve noticed it, because he sat down in front of him.

‘I do care about your well-being,’ Vision said. ‘And it’s not just some residual protocols still influencing me.’

‘That’s...’ This was not the right time to be hearing this, definitely not. Tony felt himself tense, because he couldn’t do this talk right now, he couldn’t pull down his hastily put up walls. Not now. This sense of wrongness, the phantom touch under his skin, was not exactly ideal for an honest conversation. He was too busy trying to hide all the ugly broken pieces of himself he exposed so carelessly. He couldn’t do this right now.

‘I may not be your JARVIS, and I’m definitely not your butler,’ Vision said, voice light. Tony remained silent. He was so close to standing up and walking away.

‘But I do want to be your friend.’

‘I really... I’m not--’

‘You’re tired, I suggest you rest,’ Vision said, interrupting him smoothly.

‘Not sure I can,’ Tony admitted, despite feeling very-very tired.

‘Don’t try to sleep, just lie down and relax, the rest will sort itself out.’

That... actually sounded good. And hey, the sofa was big and wide enough, so he didn’t even need to stand up. So he nodded and lied down, pushing a small cushion under his head.

‘Thanks, Vision,’ he said when the android stood up.

‘I’ll tell everyone not to disturb you,’ Vision said.

Tony had no idea how much time passed before he managed to nod off, but he did doze off eventually. That was all that mattered.

* * *

It was almost dark outside when Tony opened his eyes, and as soon as he rubbed his face a few dim lights automatically turned on.

‘How long was I out?’ he asked.

‘ _Eight and three quarter hours_ ,’ HELEN reported dutifully. ‘ _I’m so proud._ ’

‘Shit, new record,’ Tony agreed.

He was thirsty and his mouth tasted something horrible, so he got up from the couch and slowly made his way over to the bathroom. He was not used to sleeping this much. All his muscles felt like heavyweight jello, it was weird. The lights in the bathroom were way too bright at first, but after he washed his face he he could actually open his eyes. He even started to feel human again.

The lights were a little brighter when he walked back out from the bathroom. The floor was silent, which was a little strange considering how closely either Rhodey or Bruce were watching him in the past few days.

‘So where are all my babysitters?’ he asked.

‘ _Almost everyone is on Captain Rogers_ ’ _floor_ ,’ HELEN answered. ‘ _Loki and Mr. Barnes showed up twenty minutes ago. I believe they will be ready to launch an attack on Amora within the hour._ ’

‘Son of a bitch,’ Tony breathed out. He didn’t actually feel like facing the whole merry band, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to bury his head in the sand either. He could fake it, no problem, he was the master of faking it. So he got in the elevator.

‘Did anyone plan to wake me up?’ Tony asked as he made his way up.

‘ _I don’t believe so, no,_ ’ HELEN said. Great.

Rhodey stood right outside when the elevator doors opened again, so HELEN obviously gave them a head’s up.

‘Hey Tony,’ he greeted. ‘Doing good?’

‘Just peachy,’ Tony told him, walking past him. No Cap, no twins, no Natasha or Barton, but there was Bruce, Vision, Thor, and of course the dodgy duo. Loki stood a little further away from everyone by the window, looking outside with her back turned on them.

‘What’s with the limited numbers?’ Tony asked, announcing himself.

‘Tony, hey, you’re looking better,’ Bruce said with a smile.

‘The other’s are getting their gear,’ Vision said, answering his question. Loki and Barnes just eyed him for a moment.

‘He’s not coming,’ Loki said then, already turning back to the window.

‘Oh, and why is that?’ Tony countered right away.

‘Because you would be of no use to us,’ she said... and that was weird, looking at her made Tony’s brain hurt, because he could see Loki’s familiar features on an unfamiliar face.

‘Hey, just cause Amora caught me by surprise last time, it doesn’t mean she can do it again. For example, I was not wearing my suit. Can she even do her weird mumbo-jumbo when I have my suit on?’

‘Yes, she can,’ Barnes said right away and that... was not really reassuring to be honest.

‘But she gotta do... the eyes... thing,’ Tony said. His memories about that moment were hazy, but he could remember her eyes, green and bright. He was lost in them in a matter of seconds.

‘Yeah, and you can still see her eyes, even if she can’t see yours,’ Barnes added. ‘You ain’t coming nowhere.’

Tony tried to look at Thor or Vision for back-up, but it did not look like they wanted him along for the ride either.

‘Oh, you don’t think I’m back to normal,’ he concluded.

‘I am no petty dabbler of magic,’ Loki objected right away. ‘She has no control over you, but that does not make you any more useful.’

‘Thanks, Wicked Witch, no one asked you, and I don’t actually care about your opinion.’

‘And since I take only whom I want to take, I care not much for your words, Stark,’ Loki said in return.

‘Who made her boss around here? That’s what I want to know,’ Tony said, getting pissed. ‘Because this is as far from okay as it gets.’

‘Tony, we all agreed that you and I should stay behind,’ Bruce said quietly. ‘You were probably a target from the get-go. We also have no idea what would happen if I were affected, let alone the big guy. I don’t even want to think about it.’

‘And what about you, big and blond?’ Tony asked, turning to Thor. ‘Isn’t it too big a risk to have you anywhere near her?’

‘I won’t go near her,’ Thor said. ‘And she won’t be able to come near me.’

Tony took a deep breath, but it did not help with his anger.

‘This is such bullshit,’ he said.

‘We considered all options,’ Vision said. ‘We need you to trust us that this is the best course of action.’

‘Oh, I trust you guys plenty. These two on the other hand...’ he said gesturing at Barnes and Loki. ‘Not one bit.’

‘Tony, good to see you back on your feet!’ He heard then, so he turned around to see Steve walking in the room in his full Captain America get-up, shield and all.

‘Cap, I’m going to assume that you also agree with this “Keep Tony away from the fun stuff” decision.’

Well, at least Mr. All-American Dream had the decency to look at least a little apologetic. The load of good it did Tony.

‘Look, we’ve got this, okay?’ Steve said ‘And I’m kinda glad that you, Bruce, and Colonel Rhodes will be here to hold down the fort while we’re away.’

Tony wanted to argue, he wanted to argue so damn badly. Not because he actually wanted to see Amora, but because he felt like he was sidelined, and that was a very shitty thing to feel, especially right now.

‘You get to be the cavalry if things go south,’ Vision offered.

Tony just made a considering hum. This was still bullshit. He turned back towards Barnes when he heard a soft thud, which turned out to be a big black rifle case that Barnes put up on the table. With his curiosity piqued he couldn’t help but walk closer. Steve did the same.

He only needed to glance at the thing inside the case.

‘Is that a Barrett M107CQ semi-automatic sniper rifle?’ he asked. Barnes and Rogers turned to look at him in sync, wow weirdo twin thing right there, not even the Maximoffs did that.

‘I mean, it’s nice,’ he continued. ‘Should have gone for the new A1 though, I mean it has a new titanium muzzle brake and barrel key. It’s neat.’

They were still staring, so Tony rolled his eyes dramatically to let them know how annoying they were.

‘What? Ex-weapon’s manufacturer here, I know my stuff,’ he shrugged. He was not in the business any longer, but he kept his eyes on certain thing. Especially on things like long-range anti-materiel rifles that could damn well shoot him out of the sky in the right (wrong) hands.

‘Where do you even get that?’ Rhodey asked with a frown, then he shook his head right away. ‘No, I probably don’t want to know.’

That seemed about right. Barnes started putting the rifle together.

‘No clue how a gun, no matter how big, is going to help you against an Asgardian,’ Tony said, still looking at Barnes.

‘Well the rifle’s pretty standard...’ he agreed, then he picked up a magazine from the case and popped a cartridge out, holding it up. ‘This however... this is home-made.’

At first glance it looked like a normal .50 calibre cartridge, but the colour was a little off. The standard .50 calibre for long-range sniper rifles was olive green, this was bright gold, and the tip had a red coppery shade to it.

‘What’s so special about it?’ Bruce asked.

‘AP shell, but you wouldn’t be so proud of if just cause of that,’ Tony said.

‘That’s not brass or steel, is it?’ Vision asked.

‘It’s Asgardian metal,’ Barnes said with something that almost sounded like glee. ‘With a little something special, for an extra kick.’

And no... no way.

‘What?’ Thor asked, his voice was just a little shocked. ‘How did you--’ then he looked over at Loki.

‘Quite the weapon smith, huh?’ Barnes said.

‘Please, they were hardly a challenge,’ Loki scoffed.

‘And they work, they’re actually lethal?’ Tony asked, barely stopping himself from snatching the bullet out of Barnes’ hand. That probably would have been a bad idea, with the whole ex-Hydra master assassin thing.

‘If you have good aim,’ Barnes said. ‘Which I do.’

‘So what happens if you shoot someone like Amora?’ Steve prompted.

‘Depends, I can definitely injure or incapacitate. The bullet lodges in pretty deep, so it has to be pulled out or the wound just keeps bleeding. If I aim for knees or shoulders or other weak-spots, then it’s not just gonna be the blood she needs to worry about.’

‘Are you absolutely certain of that?’ Vision asked.

‘Sure, we tested it out.’

‘Tested?’ Tony frowned, then it clicked. ‘You... you shot Loki?’

‘Nowhere lethal,’ Barnes said with a shrug.

‘Oh, I would have paid to see that,’ Tony said, which earned him a vicious glare from Loki.

‘What about armour?’ Thor asked carefully. He kept glancing back at Loki, but Tony was pretty bad at reading Thor when he did not want to be read.

Barnes looked Thor up and down slowly. Tony recognized that look, he saw it on Natasha’s face sometimes. So he could literally see Barnes taking note of all possible weaknesses.

‘That’s a pretty good armour,’ Barnes said then. ‘It can probably catch or slow a bullet down enough to prevent serious injuries. Most common weak-spots are reinforced... well, except if I went for your head, that’s a kill-shot. So... you know...’ he let the words trail off as he put the cartridge back into the magazine.

How casual he was about is just made the whole thing sound all the more disturbing. He said it so easily! He could snipe down Asgardians, and he said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Shit, that fucking Barrett rifle. Even this lighter CQ version had at least an 1800-1900 yard range. If he had bullets he could goddamn kill an Asgardian with, then that... that was kinda scary. That was all kinds of scary and worrying.

Tony looked over at Loki.

‘And you literally gave this guy a way to kill you... really?’ he asked.

Loki smiled, it was wide and cruel, and it kinda made Tony want to look away, but he kept his eyes on her.

‘You callin’ me a turncoat, Stark?’ Barnes looked up at him. His tone went from casual to dangerous in a blink, just like his expression.

‘Buck,’ Steve said lightly. Barnes kept his eyes on Tony for another moment, then he looked back down to finish assembling the rifle.

‘So are we ready to go, or what?’ he barked then, slotting the last pieces in place.

‘ _Wanda and Pietro are already in the elevator_ ,’ HELEN said helpfully. ‘ _And Clint just entered the building. I’m sure he will be up on your floor shortly._ ’

‘He’s coming?’ Steve asked in surprise.

‘ _He’s been informed of your imminent operation and decided to accompany you_ ,’ HELEN said.

‘Any objections?’ Steve turned towards Barnes and Loki.

Barnes shrugged and made a non-committal grunt.

‘I won’t say no,’ Loki said. ‘I do like that little bird.’

And that just sounded so wrong, especially coming from Loki. Which was probably why she said it.

‘Tony!’ Wanda greeted, bright and loud, Tony couldn’t help smiling at her. ‘So good to have you back,’ she added and immediately pulled him into a hug that squeezed some of the air out of his lungs.

‘Hey, Little Red, ready to kick some alien ass?’ he asked as he pulled back.

‘Am I ever,’ she said meaningfully.

‘Well, _some people_ voted me out of the boy band...’ Tony said, glaring back at Steve and Vision and the rest of them.

‘I voted too, sorry,’ she said, not sounding sorry at all.

Tony put a hand over his heart to signify the utter betrayal he felt. Wanda punched him in the shoulder.

‘Ouch, abuse, I could sue you,’ Tony said, which made her smile again.

‘So, how are we doing this?’ Tony heard Steve ask.

‘Portal,’ Barnes said. ‘Loki’s gonna pinpoint the location, then we ambush.’

‘Can we arrive a little farther away?’ Steve asked.

‘Sure,’ Barnes confirmed, understanding what Steve wanted right away. ‘We’ll make it nice and quiet.’

This... This was way too much trust in Loki, in Tony’s humble opinion.

‘Is everyone actually aware how ridiculously risky it is that you’re trusting this... you know what, you don’t even deserve my name-calling skills.’

Loki flat out ignored him, literally, like she didn’t even hear him. But Barnes heard him all right, because he gave him one of those long and measured stares again. He was weird.

‘We’ve got this, Tony,’ Steve said again.

‘Your confidence doesn’t actually reassure me,’ Tony said. Thor was opening his mouth right away, so Tony cut him off. ‘Yours neither.’

Tony was no wise strategic leader, he was very far from it, but Steve and Thor could’ve used Recklessness and Overconfidence as middle-names, and they damn well knew it.

‘We’ve got this, Tony,’ said Natasha as she strode into the room with Barton on her heels.

‘You totally timed that,’ Tony accused.

‘HELEN let me eavesdrop,’ Natasha said easily. ‘And believe me, everything you think that could go wrong, I already thought of it.’

She waited for a moment, waiting for Tony to say something, but he just nodded. He was not up for an argument with Natasha, he was falling apart by the seams and she would know it. She nodded back at him.

‘I’m glad you’re back,’ she added, then walked past him.

Clint still had some bandaids on his face, which did not fail to make Tony feel like shit. He didn’t actually see the extent of the damage, but he could guess.

‘Sorry, for the face and all,’ Tony said.

‘Don’t worry about it, totally falls under the mind-control excuse,’ Clint said, even gave him a small grin.

‘Let’s not waste more time,’ Loki announced and the window where she stood immediately started shimmering with unnatural colours, first green and gold, then it turned so dark and black that it was basically absorbing light. A moment after it came alive, little shifts of movement, tiny dots in the distance. It looked ominous.

‘That does not look safe,’ Rhodey commented dryly. Tony just hoped HELEN was scanning like crazy.

Barnes swung his Barrett over his shoulder, picked up his extra ammo and headed into the portal, no hesitation. Steve picked up his shield and followed him right away, and after a moment so did Thor.

Clint clapped him on the shoulder as he hurried after Natasha, while Vision waited for Wanda and Pietro. Wanda walked confidently towards the portal, but Pietro caught himself like he just remembered something. He was standing right in front of Tony in a blink.

‘Hey, so... y’know, you’re back, great,’ he said. ‘Just...’ he hesitated for a moment, then he put his arms around Tony in a very quick and very awkward hug. Then he pulled back and was in the portal before Tony could react.

Wanda turned back around and gave Tony an excited grin and two thumbs up, because yeah hell, that really happened. Pietro didn’t touch people, he just didn’t, only in emergency situations, and never for anything that could be labelled as “affection”, that was only for Wanda.

‘Watch out for everyone, kid,’ Tony told her.

‘You got it,’ she promised, then she was gone too. Vision followed her.

Tony’s eyes slid over to Loki, who glanced back at him.

‘Always a pleasure,’ she said. Tony never heard this much sarcasm crammed into just a few words. It was almost impressive.

‘Yeah, let’s do it never again,’ Tony agreed. Then she was gone too.

Tony, Bruce and Rhodey stood around in the silent room for a long moment after the portal vanished.

‘I totally forgot to ask what was up with the boobs,’ Tony said then, just cause he felt like it was the moment he should say something. It earned him two very identical-sounding groans.

Fine, it was fine. He was fine. He was always fine.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> **Tiny announcement!**  
> 
> 
> I will be working full-time for the rest of January, five days a week, which is amazing for my bank account, but comes at the price of free time. I will do my best to still post at least one chapter per week for Dead Memories, but I cannot make any promises. Thank you for understanding. 


	27. Chapter 27

‘Where the hell are we?’ asked Clint the second he stepped through the dark portal. It was morning, wherever they were, so the change in light was startling for them all. They barely spent any time inside the dark ever-changing space between the two portals. Steve recognized the floating platform from his first visit, but this time there were no stairs leading up or down, and Loki was quick to open a second door, so they could leave. She probably did not want them to linger around in their “hideout” for two long.

So here they were, right by the ocean somewhere (probably) on Earth where it was chilly morning. It also didn’t take any of them much time to notice the abandoned buildings towering over them, neither the tall wall that was blocking their way.

‘Wait, I know this place,’ Pietro said. ‘No way, we’re--’

‘In Japan,’ Natasha said, looking down at the map she pulled up on her small GPS. Japan, huh... that was unexpected. Still Earth though, that was good.

‘This place looks so haunted,’ Clint said, not sounding too excited.

‘It’s the Battleship Island, it’s really tiny... Hashi-something,’ Pietro said.

‘Hashima Island,’ Natasha said, then put her GPS back into her belt.

‘What is Amora doing in such a place of ruin and decay?’ Thor questioned.

‘Hiding with all the other rats,’ Loki hissed.

‘Okay, let’s get the comms up,’ Steve said, already putting in his earpiece. Bucky held out his hand, so Steve gave him his spare one.

‘You got another one?’ Bucky asked, jerking his head in Loki’s direction. Yeah, it would probably be smart to be able to keep track of her too.

‘Natasha, you got a second earpiece?’ Steve asked. She didn’t look all that happy about the request, but she didn’t argue.

Bucky was the one to take it over to Loki.

‘Really?’ Loki questioned dubiously.

‘If someone spots Amora sooner than you...’ Bucky started, and he didn’t even need to finish, Loki took the earpiece.

‘If there is too much useless chatter, I’m getting rid of it,’ she warned.

‘Pietro, search for an entrance, be quick and quiet,’ Steve instructed. He barely finished speaking when Pietro vanished.

‘Okay, so here’s how this is gonna go once we’re up there,’ Steve continued. ‘Widow, Vision, and the Twins will stick with Loki.’

‘I’m not going to follow her lead,’ Natasha stated immediately.

‘She’s not your leader, she’s your tank,’ Steve reassured her. Natasha thought about it for a moment, then gave a nod in agreement.

‘Thor, stay with Clint,’ Steve continued, turning to the two of them more fully. ‘The two of you should find the highest spot you can, keep an eye on things from above. I’m with Bucky, we’re going to follow the ground team from a little higher up, as quietly as possible.’

Pietro was back with a blur of blue.

‘Some stairs, that way,’ he reported, pointing left. ‘And there’s an old harbour in the other direction, but it’s really wide and open. Anyone would be able to see us coming. Saw a coastguard boat too, but nobody was on it.’

Abandoned coastguard boat, lovely.

‘Stairs it is then,’ Steve said.

Loki was already walking down the rocky coastline. For someone who was known to enjoy the sound of their own voice, she was almost disturbingly silent. She also had a cold determined air around her. She was clearly dead set on dealing with Amora once and for all. Steve really had no problem with that to be honest, because they all wanted her being dealt with. Looking at Loki marching forward like this made Steve realize that his tank comparison was more accurate than he first thought.

‘Pietro, you said you know this place?’ he asked. He might as well get some information before they parted ways.

‘Yeah, not that much though, it was an undersea coal mine of sorts. They built almost a whole town for the workers and their families. But then the mine shut down and people moved away, so now it’s like this.’

‘There are underground caves,’ Vision added. ‘But I doubt I can find a map in the databases accessible to me from this location.’

‘Let’s cross that bridge later,’ Steve told him.

‘Do they let civilians here?’ Natasha asked.

‘No clue,’ Pietro said. ‘They probably need permission or something. They shot a few horror films here though.’

‘Yeah, I wonder why,’ Clint mused, looking up at the moss-covered wall and some of the buildings they could see from here. Broken windows and giant holes in the walls were gaping down at them darkly. It was unnerving to walk below them, he had to give Clint that.

‘Tourist access had been suspended for two months now,’ Vision said, probably getting information as he spoke.

‘Why?’ Bucky asked him.

‘Structural collapse hazard,’ Vision said. ‘Some buildings were deemed too unsafe to allow people to walk around freely.’

‘Doesn’t sound too unreasonable,’ Natasha said.

‘The timing though,’ Bucky said.

‘My thoughts exactly,’ Loki agreed.

So they thought Amora had a hand in it. Considering her powers, it was not that much of a stretch. It would have been easy for her to make someone lock the island up completely like this.

‘If you need to go down into the mine, you have to wait for us to catch up,’ Steve said. ‘Or you’ll be on your own.’

‘We will be fine on our own, relax,’ Wanda said.

‘Still, give us time to get in position,’ Steve insisted.

‘Abandoned mines are dangerous places to enter,’ Thor added solemnly. ‘You must be wary of cave-ins.’

‘Yes, old caves can cave-in... groundbreaking, Thor,’ Loki remarked form the front.

‘That was the worst pun I have ever heard,’ Bucky said with a snort.

‘Earth-shattering?’ Loki offered instead.

‘Just as bad.’

Steve was never going to get used to listening to interactions like this between them, it was just too surreal. It didn’t make him feel uncomfortable, but it did make him feel a little strange.

‘So, the island’s not so big, where are you going to start looking?’ Steve asked.

‘There is magic in the air,’ Loki said. ‘It might as well be a written invitation.’

‘Oh, that’s what it was, I wondered,’ Wanda added.

‘Won’t she know we’re coming? With the way we came here?’ Natasha asked.

‘Please, I know what I’m doing,’ Loki answered off handed.

They reached the narrow stairway. It was just as old and worn as the walls, covered with cracks, and overgrown with weed. Loki took the lead, while the rest of them followed. Steve did not feel good about going up such a narrow stairway, but everything was quiet. They heard nothing but the ocean, a few birds, and the sound of their own footsteps. If it wasn’t for the reason they came here, Steve would have found it almost peaceful.

Loki didn’t wait around when she reached the top of the stairs, she immediately headed towards some of the buildings.

‘All right, this is where we part,’ Steve said. ‘Keep an eye on any guards or patrols; take them out quietly if you find anyone. We have to assume that anyone we run into is hostile, but non-lethal takedown, all right? We don’t know if they’re here willingly or if they’re under Amora’s control.’

He received a series of nods in answer, and then they split up.

* * *

Bucky was quick to pick a building that had stairs on the outside. The metal was old and rusty, but the stairs were stable enough and easily took their weight as they made their way up. They stopped a few times, trying to keep an eye on Loki and the rest of the ground team.

‘What do you say… roof?’ Steve asked. Some of the buildings had entire walls missing, so maybe they could make their way through them too.

‘Yeah, these are not the tallest buildings,’ Bucky agreed. ‘I don’t want to go higher than three or four stories.’

‘We can still jump down from that height without a problem,’ Steve said.

‘Exactly,’ Bucky agreed.

The more Steve saw from the island the more dead and deserted it seemed. It was hard to imagine that an Asgardian would be hiding at a place like this. Sure it was remote and easy to defend, but there were no actual defences on the coastline. It had a mine, but again, he found it difficult to picture someone like Amora hiding in an old coal mine. Of course it was even harder to believe that Loki and Bucky would make a mistake this big.

Bucky put out his hand to stop him just before they reached the roof. He made the hand signal for enemy in sight; up on the roof, two of them. They were definitely in the right place then. Bucky waited for a second then peeked out, slowly climbing up the rest of the way. He motioned Steve to follow him.

It took Steve just a second to assess their situation. Their targets looked human, but looks could be deceiving. He pointed at the closer one for Bucky to take, while he eyed the one who stood a little further away. Bucky was carrying his rifle and while Steve did not doubt that he could move quickly with it, it was still a big gun and not the best to carry around in a hand-to-hand fight, not to mention his ammo-belt. Steve could reach the other guy quickly enough, so they could take down both of them down at the same time.

They moved in unison. Steve only saw Bucky from the corner of his eye, but he was very aware of his presence. He may have looked different, things may have changed irreversibly, but it was familiar and reassuring to see him, no matter what happened since the last time they walked side-by-side like this on the field.

The second Bucky reached the first guy Steve made a run for the other one. He did not use his full strength, since if they were humans, and just Amora’s victims, then he really didn’t want them to suffer any serious injuries. The man took down was Asian; probably Japanese, considering where they were, and he wore a dark blue uniform. He was easy to knock down, which confirmed that he was definitely human.

He looked back at Bucky, then down at the body lying on the rooftop.

‘Alive, relax,’ Bucky said quietly.

‘Found two guards,’ Steve reported to the rest of the team. ‘Locals, I would assume.’

‘Coast guard,’ Bucky added. ‘So they came here with that boat. We might find more of them, or more will come.’

‘Yeah, they will be missed for sure and soon,’ Steve added.

‘ _All quiet down here_ ,’ Natasha reported back to them. Steve couldn’t actually see them right now.

‘We have no visual of you ground team,’ Steve told them. ‘Thor, do you or Hawkeye see them?’

‘ _Aye, we are keeping our eyes on them from above_ ,’ Thor answered. Steve looked around quickly, but he did not see Clint or Thor either. Thor could be astonishingly stealthy when he really wanted to be, and not even his red cape could stop him.

‘Let’s move,’ Bucky said.

Steve looked back at the two unconscious guys, but didn’t see the point restraining them. They weren’t even really armed, so they were more like sentries than guards. And by the time they woke up, Amora was probably going to be aware of their presence anyway.

They kept walking on the rooftops, keeping their heads down. Steve saw glimpses of the ground team, but they wandered a bit farther away from them, so it was not easy to spot them between the buildings. The alleys were narrow and did not give a clear line of sight most of the time.

‘ _We have just encountered a sentinel as well_ ,’ Thor told them then. ‘ _But we had not harmed him too badly of course._ ’

‘Human?’ Steve asked.

‘ _I’m not quite certain_ ,’ Thor said. ‘ _He appears to be, but I rarely see humans wielding swords as big as this._ ’

‘ _You’d be surprised_ ,’ Natasha commented drily. She said it in a tone that meant there was a story there. This was unfortunately not the time or place to ask about it. It did put the vivid image of Natasha beating up some sword-wielding maniac in Steve’s head. He had to ask about it later.

‘Any sign of Amora or Skurge yet?’ Steve asked.

‘ _We’re getting close_ ,’ Wanda said. ‘ _This place makes my skin crawl, I don’t know what she’s been doing, but damn, it left a mark_.’

‘ _Good news, you are not going towards the mine_ ,’ Clint said. Maybe he couldn’t hear them over the comms, but he still loved to talk their ears off sometimes.

‘ _No, we’re not_ ,’ Loki said simply and did not elaborate. She was really not a team player. Steve was completely unsurprised.

‘ _Where are we going then?_ ’ Natasha asked.

‘ _Silence, all of you_ ,’ Loki ordered. Yeah ordered, it was not a suggestion or a request, not with that tone of voice. It rubbed Steve the wrong way, and more than just a little.

‘There,’ Bucky whispered and pointed down between two buildings where Steve could clearly see most of their ground team, Vision was out of sight, but he was probably just a few steps behind.

Then they stopped abruptly.

‘What’s going on?’ Steve asked.

‘ _I said silence_ ,’ Loki said again, but this time she sounded distracted, her attention was elsewhere.

Bucky looked around on the roof they were standing on, then jerked his head in the direction of the building next to them. His head-tilt had a questioning flare to it, so Steve considered their options. If the ground team stayed in their current position, it would be smarter for them to move over to that roof. They would be much further away, but they would have a better view. So Steve nodded.

‘ _Holy shit, am I seeing that right?_ ’ Clint asked, but Steve didn’t have time to look down on what he meant, because Bucky already leaped over to the other roof and Steve needed to keep up with him. As soon as he caught up he zeroed in on the empty area between the buildings.

He knew what Clint meant right away, and he fully agreed with his earlier sentiment. The empty lot was a ruin a moment ago, covered in weed, rusty old railings, and broken things. Right now it looked like a beautiful garden. It looked unrealistically beautiful, like a painting. The grass was full and perfect, there were little flower beds, butterflies, and slender fruit trees. Loki must’ve done something to reveal it, because there were still green-gold flames and lights slithering around at the edges of the garden.

‘ _So this is what she did_ ,’ Wanda concluded.

‘ _Landscaping?_ ’ Pietro asked.

‘Shit, it’s a joke we didn’t find her sooner,’ Bucky said as he got down on one knee and took his rifle off his shoulder.

‘ _Not a place we would normally search at_ ,’ Loki answered.

‘So where is she?’ Steve asked.

‘ _Right here somewhere.._.’ Loki said. She moved a little away from the rest of the group, searching, looking around carefully.

The anti-materiel rifle was not something that was designed to be used the way Bucky used it, but weapon designers rarely counted on enhanced strength or cybernetic arms. Bucky didn’t need to lie down, he did not need support for the gun, he could easily lift it to his shoulder and look through the scope. He handled it with ease, as if it were a normal rifle.

‘Got you in my scope, princess,’ he said after a beat of silence.

‘ _I feel so special_ ,’ Loki drawled as she continued forward slowly. ‘ _Now remember what I told you about Amora._ ’

‘Don’t worry, I won’t aim for her head,’ Bucky told her.

‘ _Why do I feel like we’re about to be ambushed?_ ’ Wanda asked.

‘ _Because they’re already coming_ ,’ Loki said.

‘Who’s coming?’ Steve demanded immediately, but his question was answered almost right away. That noise, that godforsaken shrill, that made the windows shake everywhere around them, then came the bright light and the cracking sound. And then he heard the familiar deep rumbling. Not this again, dammit.

‘Watch out, N’Garai!’ he shouted down the comms, as if everyone didn’t realize it already.

* * *

Steve spotted two of the demons advancing on the others down below on the ground and he was ready to jump down and join the fight straight away, because these were tough bastards.

But a loud shot echoed among the buildings before he could move. Steve watched from afar as the head of the N’Garai on the front basically exploded. One second it was snarling and moving forward, preparing to launch an attack, then Bucky pulled the trigger and the beast collapsed on the pristine green grass. Its dark blood stained the ground all around the body.

The second beast growled loudly in reaction, charging forward in an instant.

‘ _I must aid them!_ ’ Thor declared.

‘Easy,’ Bucky said evenly as his empty shell flew out of the rifle. ‘She won’t have that many.’

‘One is too many,’ Steve told him.

‘ _We’re fine_ ,’ Natasha said through the comms. ‘ _Everyone stay where you are._ ’

‘Stay out in the open,’ Bucky instructed the ground team. ‘Looks like my little magic bullets work.’

‘ _That was you?!_ ’ Pietro shouted incredulously. Right, he was not there for Bucky’s little show and tell.

Loki dodged the snarling N’Garai, which gave Vision the chance to slam into it with a force that knocked the beast back and away from the rest of the team.

‘Well, we didn’t test them on demons,’ Bucky said calmly, still looking down at the others through his scope. Steve knew that tone he used, quiet and measured, a sniper’s calm. Some sharpshooters were loud and cocky, like Clint. But Bucky had never been like that behind a rifle, he’d always been cold and calculating, even on the battlefields of Europe, long before his fall.

‘ _There! Another one, coming from behind you!_ ’ Thor shouted. Steve tried to spot it, but it must’ve been behind one of the buildings.

‘ _Behind you too, Steve!_ ’ Clint yelled.

Steve spun around just in time to see the demon leap at them from the edge of the building where it climbed up silently.

He raised his shield, but did not jump aside, because Bucky was right behind him. So instead he ducked and slammed his shield into the thing’s head, because that seemed like a good strategy last time. Of course he didn’t do that much damage, but at least the demon didn’t knock him off his feet. He did stumble back a little when he was forced to block the swiping claws with his shield. He hated these things so damn much.

‘Get down!’ Bucky yelled and Steve did. He let himself fall backwards to the hard rooftop, while he lifted his shield to defend himself in case the demon lunged at him. But before the demon could react another shot rang, making Steve’s ears ring. Although he still heard how blood and wet sounding pieces splattered on his shield. The demon was down. Luckily, it did not fall on Steve completely, so he could pull his legs out from underneath the dead demon with relative ease.

He quickly got up, but no other attack came.

‘Thanks,’ he told Bucky, adrenaline was still pumping in his veins.

‘You look disgusting,’ Bucky said as he turned back around into his previous position. Steve looked down at himself. His head and upper-body were clean, since his shield caught most of the mess, but his legs were sprayed with blood and his shield itself was covered with lots of dark and sticky chunks of flesh and bone. Fantastic.

‘You’re the one who shot it right above me,’ Steve complained.

‘You’re welcome,’ Bucky said, then aimed again, this time at something down on the ground. Steve focused on the fight again, ignoring the mess. He was good at compartmentalising... occasionally.

The first thing he noticed was that Loki was nowhere to be seen. Wanda was firing red beams at one of the demons, making it back away. The beast was shaking its head, it was dazed or confused. It didn’t look seriously injured, but it didn’t advance either, it kept moving away from Wanda cautiously.

Natasha stood a few feet behind Wanda. Her guns were in her hands, but she did not engage, because she knew there was no point wasting bullets.

Vision was keeping another demon in line, using his strength and speed to keep it away from the others. He kept grabbing hold of its horns and forcing it to the ground, but the demon kept twisting away from him.

‘Vision, let it go,’ Bucky said and the android listened, immediately leaping back from the demon, sliding up into the air smoothly. Bucky let another bullet fly, and the demon hit the grass, just like the other one did before. Nice and easy.

‘ _Oh, I think I got this one_ ,’ Wanda said, she sounded a little breathless. Steve realized why when he noticed that the demon she kept hitting with her blasts was now twisting and turning on the ground, red glow surrounding its head. Whatever it was that Wanda was doing to it, it looked painful.

‘ _What the hell are you doing, girlie?_ ’ Clint asked.

‘ _Something I should have tried sooner,_ ’ Wanda said. Her voice was a few tones too deep, and there was a little more static on her end of the line than there should have been. Then the demon stopped moving and crumpled to the ground in a twisted heap.

Now that was impressive.

‘Where did Loki go?’ Steve asked.

‘ _We do not see her,_ ’ Thor answered right away.

‘ _We did not really keep an eye on her,_ ’ Vision said. ‘ _With the demons at our throats._ ’

‘Loki, you copy?’ Steve asked, but there was only silence. No reply. ‘Buck, what do you think?’

‘If she could or wanted to answer, she would have already,’ he said. ‘Keep going forward.’

‘Widow, wanna take the lead down there?’ Steve asked.

‘ _I won’t know where to go, Wanda will lead us,_ ’ Natasha answered.

‘ _This way_ ,’ Wanda said immediately. She walked past the corpse of the demon with easy confidence. Oh, she could be scary sometimes, Steve was man enough to admit that.

Bucky got up to follow them from afar and Steve was right beside him.

‘ _We need to change our position_ ,’ Clint reported through the comms. ‘ _Might take a bit._ ’

‘Thor, make sure you two are out of sight,’ Steve instructed.

‘ _Aye, Captain_ ,’ Thor confirmed.

Steve and Bucky continued their way up on the roof of the smaller buildings as long as they could, but then they reached the bigger ones. Apartment blocks, ten stories at least. Steve quickly looked around for an alternative path. Well, the alley was narrow, the buildings were old, and the walls looked quite thin. They could maybe bust through the outer wall of the apartment building, then they wouldn’t have to climb down to the street.

‘ _Hello, Skurge_ ,’ said Loki though their comm-link unexpectedly. She was obviously not addressing any of them, but it still had to be a message or a warning, and not just a mocking greeting.

‘ _We found them_ ,’ Wanda added gravely. Then something exploded down there, it was not fire and heat and debris, but light and sound and green flashes. Their comms sizzled with static, deafening them all for long moments. And Steve did not wait around to ask questions. He picked one of the paths he eyed earlier at random and ran. And Bucky ran too, right beside him.

* * *


	28. Chapter 28

Natasha did not know what the things were. She only saw Skurge, then a dark swarm of... something, bird-like or insect-like, it didn’t matter. The cloud barely started descending on them when everything exploded into green. It was not a real explosion. Natasha did not feel heat on her face, there was no shock wave, and she did not feel pain as it engulfed her. It tingled her skin, blinded her eyes, and made her earpiece shriek with static.

‘Useless tricks… don’t insult me, Amora,’ Loki said as soon as the light ebbed away. The swarm was gone, but Skurge was still standing in front of them.

‘ _Wha-- yo-- kay?..._ ’ came Steve’s voice through the comm-link in fragments, but the rest was only static. A moment later there was no static either, just dead silence. Natasha would have loved to know whether the blocked signal was an unfortunate side-effect or something Loki did deliberately. Or maybe it was Amora, even if they could not see her.

‘How arrogant of you, Loki,’ Skurge said. ‘To show up here with nothing but a handful of mortals to aid you.’

They did not know Thor was with them... maybe they had no idea about Clint, Steve and Barnes either. That sounded more than perfect.

‘How foolish of you to think that a few N’Garai would be able to stop me,’ Loki said in return. ‘Stop hiding, Amora!’ she yelled then to the room at large.

‘You should be more concerned about me,’ Skurge said, swinging his giant axe idly.

Loki scoffed. ‘I would have killed you already if you’d not have run like a coward.’

‘Is he under a spell too? Or is he doing this for kicks?’ Wanda asked as she walked closer to Loki.

‘You dare insult our love, mortal,’ Skurge said, his voice a dark threat.

‘I don’t know and I don’t care,’ Loki said.

‘Well, I care,’ Wanda told her. ‘We’re not gonna kill him if he’s just another mind-fucked guy.’

‘Kill me, ha! What a joke you are, the so-called champions of Midgard.’

‘Nobody calls us that,’ Wanda said dryly.

‘You shall be one of the firsts to taste my axe, lass,’ Skurge grunted at her in return.

Natasha saw Wanda’s eyes flash red, and it wasn’t just a blink, the glow remained and pulsated beneath her irises. She always tried to be fair, tried to do good. She wanted to help people, and not harm them, but she did not take kindly to being threatened. Natasha knew very little about magic, but she was willing to bet that you could sense her very presence in the air when she was channelling power like this. Natasha has been paying close attention to her, so she knew that Wanda has been getting stronger since she escaped Hydra’s clutches.

‘I will ask only once, Skurge,’ Loki said, turning her attention back to the giant man. ‘Where is Amora hiding? She’s close, I know it.’

Natasha had no idea where exactly anyone could hide in this place. Whatever it was that Amora did, it changed everything about their surroundings. The building had to be just as old and abandoned as the rest of the island, and yet what she saw in front of her was pristine beauty. The walls were white and golden, heavy drapes enveloped tall windows, catwalks led to a flower adorned gallery above them, and there were even carpets, furs, and rugs on the floor. She even spotted some damn statues and vases. She assumed it was an imitation of how things looked in Asgard.

‘I won’t ever betray her,’ Skurge said confidently, shifting his stance, getting ready for a fight.

‘Then you shall die for her,’ Loki answered, her long staff materializing in her hand.

Skurge gave them a big and nasty grin, and he turned his axe around lazily one more time.

‘I am not her only guardian,’ he declared.

They all reacted even before the first hostile popped their heads up. Natasha drew her guns, Pietro vanished in a quick blur, while Vision leaped up from the ground. Wanda’s hands lit up with sizzling red hexes. That’s what she always called them. And Loki… Loki charged at Skurge, not wasting any time, and not giving a damn about anything else around them.

They had to be humans, these guardians, because they started shooting at them, at least some of them. So Natasha ducked out of the way to take cover, while the air lit up with a red glow around Wanda, protecting her from the bullets.

‘If anyone copies this outside, we’re under fire. We don’t have an exact location on Amora, so keep your distance.’

She received no reply. Brilliant. She had an inkling that the boys ran into some playmates too, otherwise they probably would’ve charged in here already. Not the most thoughtful bunch, their outside team, also not the most patient.

She spotted a guy up by a glass door, which had to lead out to a balcony. Natasha quickly looked around and spotted a tall pillar that looked easy to climb. She approached it while sticking close to the walls, out of sight. She did not worry about the rest of the ground team. She doubted anyone could actually aim at Pietro, while Vision was as bulletproof as someone could possibly be. Wanda could look out for herself and frankly, she did not really care about how Loki was doing.

She was hard to ignore though, because she and Skurge were wreaking havoc all around them. They seemed evenly-matched, just like at the charity ball, but Loki was even more furious this time around. Maybe it was just how much time she spent hunting Amora down. Natasha would’ve been pissed too, and Loki was not known for her serene disposition.

Natasha got to the pillar and quickly made her way up, trying to say hidden. The pillar itself was heavily decorated with deep grooves and floral patterns, providing her with perfect grabs. It was as simple as climbing up a ladder, really. And it seemed like the gunmen were more occupied with uselessly emptying their guns at Vision and Wanda.

Once she reached the top she leaped over the small railing, kicking the guy with the gun in the chest. He stumbled back out to the balcony, so Natasha quickly ran after him. He was half-way back on his feet when Natasha grabbed his gun and twisted it out of his hand. Then she kicked his leg and quickly moved to get behind him. Putting him in a choke-hold was a child’s play after that.

‘Does anyone copy?’ she asked again once the guy was down, hoping that maybe being out on this balcony would help her get in touch with Clint and the others, but nobody answered. Maybe the balcony counted as “inside” still, maybe it wasn’t even a real balcony. Magic was weird like that. Natasha picked up the guy’s gun and threw it out over the railing. Then she glanced at his face again, and the sight made her stop.

He was unnaturally pale and had dark circles under his eyes. But it didn’t look like the paleness she remembered seeing on the faces of Loki’s mind-control victims. The guy’s lips were strangely blue in the middle, so Natasha crouched down and carefully pulled back his lower lip. His teeth and the inside of his lips were blue too, like he was sucking on a pen. She pulled an eyelid back up as well, since she didn’t have time for long observations while she was taking him down. His eyes were blood-shot, and the pupils were slightly greyish instead of completely black.

The men under Amora’s control from the charity ball were still in their custody and none of them looked like this. It seemed unlikely that this was her doing, unless she started doing something very different, something much worse. Natasha looked the guy over quickly for more clues. She was eager to get back inside, but she needed to gather information just as much. The man’s nails had an unhealthy colour, his skin was clammy, and the blood vessels on his wrist were bulging bizarrely. Natasha just couldn’t fathom what has been done to him. Her first thought was some sort of an experiment, drugs and chemicals, but she dismissed the idea almost immediately. Magic seemed the most likely, considering their lives recently, and considering this was Amora’s hideout. Or hell, it was maybe something demonic, as ridiculous as that should’ve sounded.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Natasha left the balcony to assess the situation inside. Skurge and Loki were still laying waste on the once beautiful interior. Loki was fast and she swiftly evaded every swing of Skurge’s axe. The giant in return blocked Loki’s spear with his own weapon over and over again, backing down when he needed to instead of fighting mindlessly. Loki was a lot less coordinated, but somehow it did not give her a disadvantage. She kept lashing out with a snarl on her lips, but her strength and skill made up for her lack of control. If she actually found a way to not allow her emotions to compromise her this much... well, it was best not to think about Loki no longer having her biggest weakness.

Natasha spotted Wanda dodging bullets left and right and decided that she needed assistance the most, but as she was about to swing back inside the room she heard a small noise from behind her back. She spun around just in time to dodge the guy she just took out. What the hell?

The man did not have any weapons, but he kept attacking anyway. Natasha’s mild hits did not even faze him, her harder punches made him stagger, but he kept straightening up and trying to attack again. There was something lost and glazed over in his eyes, despite the twisted look of anger on his face. Natasha didn’t want to hurt him, she really didn’t, but something was wrong. Humans felt pain. Normal humans did not get up right away after a kick from Natasha. Humans didn’t attack wordlessly and soundlessly with their distant eyes not even properly focused on their opponent.

When the man finally went down again Natasha pulled out his belt and tied his hands together behind his back. She had to get out of his sight. She had a strong suspicion that he would start attacking again when he woke up, tied hands or not.

Natasha climbed back down on the pillar and remained close to the wall again to stay out of the way of Loki and Skurge. There were green flames appearing randomly around them. Under Loki’s feet, at the tip of her spear, they followed her every move. It looked like she kept catching on fire spontaneously. Natasha knew it was magic and not real fire, but it did not look any less disturbing.

‘There’s something wrong with them,’ Wanda said the second Natasha reached her.

‘I noticed. Any idea what?’ she asked in return. Wanda pulled up another glowing red ward just as bullets rained down on them again.

‘No, but I can’t take them out from here, unless I want to kill them,’ she said.

‘Keep them occupied, I’ll do the rest,’ Natasha said.

‘No problem,’ Wanda nodded.

Natasha had more than enough experience dodging bullets, so she mostly kept her eyes on Loki and Skurge, because that fight could take an unexpected turn any time, and she did not want to be caught up right in the middle of it. She was almost surprised the two of them didn’t knock down at least one wall already.

Skurge launched a rapid-fire attack, forcing Loki to back off and dodge his axe with her spear. The green fire appearing so frequently now that there were always some flickering flames around Loki. That’s why Natasha almost didn’t notice the glimmer of poison green. Then there was Amora herself with a drawn blade.

Natasha opened her mouth to shout a warning automatically, not even thinking about it, but Loki dodged Skurge’s attack and turned around in the same motion to kick Amora in the stomach so hard that she went flying across the room. Then she rolled to the side to evade Skurge’s next attack.

Vision took Amora’s appearance as his cue to slam into Skurge from out of nowhere, making them both slide across the floor towards the other side of the room. Loki only gave them a cursory glance over her shoulder then she charged at Amora.

Amora’s hands lit up with energy and she sent beams flying towards Loki. Natasha knew very little about magic, Loki either dodged the attack or absorbed it, but they did not slow her down.

Skurge tried to fight his way back to his mistress, but Vision was not so easy to get rid of. He was stronger than the giant expected, and also very hard to hit. Natasha only kept her attention on them for a handful of moments , but she saw Skurge’s axe phase right through Vision’s body, much to the Asgardian’s surprise. Yes, it was not easy to harm someone who could turn intangible.

The fight was worth paying attention to, but Natasha had her own problems to take care of. She took note of the rest of the men that were still shooting at Wanda – and occasionally Pietro – and quickly figured out the best way to take them down. It would have been much easier to just shoot them, but of course she wasn’t going to do that. Lethal force was the absolute last resort.

‘Pietro!’ she shouted when she saw a glimpse of blue from the corner of her eye. And sure enough, he was running right next to her in the next moment.

‘Yeah?’

‘Far wall, stand there and give me a boost,’ Natasha instructed. It took less than a blink for Pietro to do as instructed. He stood ready by the wall, his hands already folded and prepared for Natasha’s foot. He had no super-strength, but he was still a fit guy and strong enough to give her the extra inches she needed to jump up and reach the bottom of the catwalks above them, where the last of the strange overly pale men were. If Amora expected these guys to be able to take them out, she miscalculated greatly. Or maybe she just had that low an opinion of them, arrogance was, after all, a very Asgardian weakness.

Natasha pulled herself up to the catwalk and ran at the guy who seemed to be emptying the entire magazine of his semi-automatic gun at Wanda, despite seeing that the bullets were bouncing off a red shimmering ward. Mindless; that was also a word Natasha could use for these guys. The bodies moved, but it did not seem like anyone was home. Clint would’ve made some zombie quip by now. Natasha really hoped Clint was not doing anything stupid outside.

Natasha kicked the guy’s gun out of his hand then knocked his head to the catwalk railing. Of course he did not go down that easily. Natasha had to hit him three more times before he toppled over and stopped trying to punch the living daylights out of her. She pulled out his belt, like she did with the other one, tying his hands behind his back with the sturdy leather.

As she looked around to find the next gunman the wall on the far side of the building exploded. It was a small localized explosion, it didn’t do much damage. It also came from outside, so Natasha was willing to bet that it was one of Clint’s explosive arrows. She knew those really well. Natasha quickly jumped down from the catwalk to get out of the line of fire.

A moment later her earpiece crackled back to life.

‘ _Can anyone hear me?!_ ’ Steve yelled.

‘Loud and clear,’ Natasha said, while Pietro and Wanda gave a firm yes at the same time.

‘ _Hold your position_ ,’ Barnes instructed quietly through the comm. And Natasha knew that when a sniper said that, you damn well listened. A loud shot rang next and Skurge immediately yelled in pain. Natasha looked over and saw him stumble back from the hit, blood gushing from his shoulder. He angrily looked around; trying to find the source of the attack, but Barnes had to be far away. He was sitting on a roof outside, shooting through the big hole in the wall that Clint just made.

Another shot rang and this time Skurge dropped his axe, because his right arm was hit. Vision was quick to dash over to the weapon, phasing it into the concrete floor until only the tip of the blade was visible. Skurge was not pulling that one out.

Amora did not seem to pay any attention to the sounds of pain her loyal bodyguard was making, but maybe she was just too preoccupied with keeping Loki in line. Indeed those green flames were a constant presence now around them. Amora’s blade clashed with Loki’s spear again and again as they circled one another, attacking and evading.

‘ _Loki, freeze_ ,’ Barnes said and she did, she abruptly stopped just as another shot rang through the air. Amora hit the floor from the impact and there was immediately blood staining the front of her armour. Barnes got her in the chest, but far up enough that it was probably not lethal. Loki dropped her spear and was on her in the next blink, taking her blade away and pinning her to the ground as the other yelled and struggled.

‘What have you done? What have you done to me?!’ Amora shouted. She was clutching at her bleeding wound until Loki pinned her arms. Right, first time being shot, it had to be a lovely experience for an Asgardian.

Skurge made a run for them, but injured as he was – bleeding heavily from two wounds – he was no match for Vision. The android stood in his way, then literally pinned him to the floor after a short struggle.

Natasha quickly looked around in search for the last of the gunmen, but Pietro was standing above the two unconscious figure, giving her a thumbs-up. Natasha gave him an approving nod. The kid could use the confidence and he did very well today.

‘The perimeter is secure,’ Natasha reported to everyone. Barnes put a very swift end to what started out as a long and tiring confrontation. Natasha had to admit, although begrudgingly, that it was an impressive display.

‘ _We’re on our way_ ,’ Steve said.

Thor literally smashed through the remains of the wall Clint blew up not even a second later.

‘No more running, no more hiding,’ Loki said. Amora struggled still, green bursts of magic flaring up in her hands, but Loki kept her pinned and her flames burnt up every flicker of Amora’s magic.

‘You knew this day would come,’ Loki said to her.

‘Is that why you’re here? Revenge? A petty child, that is what you still are,’ Amora spat back at her. ‘You think I fear you, Loki? You think I ever truly feared you?’

‘You fear me right now,’ Loki said as her green flames flared up even more brightly, it made her hair float around her head. That was also something Natasha was used to see from Wanda. Loki did not use to be quite this flashy with magic, but she also used to have a male form, so Natasha was not about to start questioning the strange and abrupt changes about her.

Thor walked a little closer. He stood in Skurge’s way in case he somehow escaped Vision’s hold, no matter how unlikely that seemed right now. But he wisely did not walk any closer than that to Amora.

The sorceress kept trashing around, trying to twist away to no avail.

‘What are you doing?’ Amora asked, but Loki didn’t answer. She seemed very focused.

‘Loki... wait, you’ll need me... what I know...’ Amora said, and Natasha did hear some fear in her voice now. Maybe it was that expression on Loki’s face, or maybe the bright flames flickering on Loki’s skin.

‘What are you doing?’ Wanda asked.

‘No!’ Loki turned around to pin them with an angry look. ‘We made a deal, your Captain and I, you will not intervene. She is mine!’

‘Steve?’ Natasha asked.

‘ _I kinda did promise that_ ,’ Steve confirmed after a beat of silence. Natasha had some choice words for him on making promises like this, but this was not the right time.

‘No, Loki, I can help, I can help you,’ Amora continued, but Loki was unrelenting. So Amora switched tactics. ‘Thor...’

But as soon as the word was out of her mouth Loki wrapped her fingers around her neck and silenced her with a hard squeeze. The green flames grew and twisted around them and Natasha could’ve sworn she actually felt heat on her face now.

‘Don’t you dare beg him for mercy,’ Loki hissed in Amora’s face, then pressed her free hand over Amora’s eyes. Green flames enveloped them both and hid them away from their sight, all they could hear was Amora’s scream. Skurge yelled and struggled even harder than before, clawing his fingers bloody on the floor trying to get to her.

Thor gripped his hammer tightly and moved closer, to intervene probably, but as quickly as it began it was over, and all of Loki’s flames died away. Skurge slumped back to the floor as the fight went out of him.

Natasha turned when she heard footsteps and saw that Steve, Barnes and Clint finally got to them. They were climbing in through the damaged wall.

Amora was making small sounds, her voice hoarse from her screams and from Loki’s hand still gripping her throat.

‘Utter his name again, and I will rip your tongue out too,’ Loki warned with soft words and a razor sharp tone. Then she stood up, letting go of Amora. Natasha tensed immediately, but the Enchantress didn’t get up.

‘All these years,’ Skurge said.

‘Help me, Skurge,’ Amora croaked in return.

‘I have loved you... I have cherished you...’

‘Skurge... help me,’ Amora repeated, then Natasha finally saw her face. The eyelids looked burnt, just like the skin all around it, and her eyes were nothing but a mess of red and grey smudges. She couldn’t see.

‘You cast a spell on me,’ Skurge said, his voice turning dark and angry. ‘The one thing you promised you wouldn’t do... The one thing I have ever asked from you!’

‘No, Skurge, my love...’

‘Silence!’ Skurge yelled back. ‘Halt your treacherous lips! I wish I could kill you, I wish my hands were capable of such a thing. I wish I did not love you so.’

‘Her spells are broken,’ Loki said pleasantly, walking closer to Thor. ‘Take her back to Asgard, leave her in a ditch, I really do not care.’

‘You’ll pay for this!’ Amora yelled. ‘Loki, you will pay for this!’

Loki looked back at her, stared at her lying on the floor with her burnt and blind eyes, and smiled. Then she picked her spear back up and made it fade into nothing.

‘Farewell, Amora,’ she said, and turned away from her, deliberately walking away.

Amora screamed in rage, but her magic was barely a flicker at her fingertips. Loki must’ve done more than just blind her, even if Natasha did not know what it was.

‘You think you have won?’ she screamed. ‘You think this will matter at all? You will lose, you will suffer, you will rot in the ground! You think anyone will thank you for this? Even those Jotun animals tossed you away. You think you can play hero?!’

Loki stopped, but did not turn back around.

‘What did he promise you?’ she asked instead.

Everyone else was silent and Natasha hoped they will continue to keep their mouths shut. Let them talk, let them give away some of their secrets, let them argue. They were giving Natasha more information to work with.

‘Asgard? The golden throne you always thirsted for...’ Loki asked. ‘...Thor?’

‘All of it, and more,’ Amora declared. ‘You are a fool, Loki! You will have nothing but pain and death, you will be torn apart, you will beg to betray every promise you’ve made.’

Natasha wanted them to keep talking, give her even more information, but of course it didn’t happen.

‘If you wanna take her alive, do it now, cause I’m about to shoot her,’ Barnes said, marching closer confidently, his rifle still in his hand. He interrupted the flow of the conversation, and he did it deliberately. Loki seemed to compose herself right away, the angry glint in her eyes shifted into something more calculating.

‘Aye, she needs to be taken back to Asgard,’ Thor agreed.

‘Odinson,’ Skurge said. Thor turned towards the giant man right away, but Natasha saw that Loki moved as well. She caught herself in time, but she reacted to the name just as Thor did.

‘Speak,’ Thor told him. ‘But know that you are to return to Asgard, whether you are willing or not.’

‘I have committed great crimes across the Nine Realms, but I am still a Warrior of Skarnheim. I will return to Asgard, and shall do so willingly,’ he said. ‘I will not run from my sins.’

‘I have your word?’ Thor asked.

‘Aye, my prince, you have my word,’ the other said.

‘Vision, my friend, let go of him,’ Thor said. Vision didn’t argue, he rarely argued with Thor. Well, nobody really argued with Thor most of the time.

Amora spoke quietly, trying to get Skurge’s attention again, but the giant ignored her, did not even look at her again.

‘I shall return to Midgard, as soon as I can,’ Thor said to all of them.

‘Don’t you think you should take back someone else too?’ Clint asked.

Loki made an amused noise, which made Natasha want to shoot her multiple times, no matter how useless normal bullets were against her.

Thor’s face turned dark and he stared at Loki with his stormy eyes for a very long moment. Loki stared back, but not even Thor’s anger could diminish the cruel satisfaction on her face.

‘Do not think, even for a moment, that your crimes are forgotten,’ Thor said then.

‘Oh, I wouldn’t dare, brother,’ Loki said with a smile, then her lips stretched even wider. ‘Give my greetings to the King of Asgard.’

Natasha thought about that one for quite a long while. That last sentence and the wide smile, the glint in Loki’s eyes, it meant something. It was more than just mockery, a gleeful remark, it meant something more. It was something to be worried about, and she hoped Thor thought the same. She couldn’t help it, she kept thinking about it, even long after the Bifrost swept Thor away.

* * *


	29. Chapter 29

Thor had been away from his home for a long while now, but the pull of the Bifrost was as familiar and exhilarating as always. Skurge offered to hold onto the injured and blind Amora despite being injured himself, and Thor did not fight him on it. He had no desire to carry the treacherous sorceress in his arms.

As soon as his feet touched the floor of the observatory he opened his mouth to greet Heimdall, but his eyes landed on someone else and he abruptly fell silent.

‘Brunnhilde,’ he said after a moment. He glanced around but Heimdall was nowhere to be seen, only the tall blonde Valkyrie stood in front of them. She pulled Heimdall’s long sword out, shutting the Bifrost down. No, it was not Heimdall’s sword, it was Brunnhilde’s own blade.

‘Greetings Son of Odin,’ she said. ‘Welcome home.’

‘Greetings to you too, good Brunnhilde,’ Thor nodded in return, remembering his manners.

‘Some warriors will take the prisoners off your hands shortly,’ she said then, standing in front of them. Her gaze was not as unnerving as Heimdall’s, but it made Thor stand taller nonetheless. He doubted there was any warrior in all of Asgard who did not straighten their back when standing in front of the great Valkyrie.

‘Where is Heimdall?’ he asked then.

‘He has been relieved of his duty,’ the Valkyrie answered, much to Thor’s shock.

‘What? How can that be? What happened?’

For Asgard’s guardian to be replaced, it was unthinkable.

‘You must ask the King yourself,’ she said. ‘I’m just fulfilling the duty I have been given.’

‘How?’ Thor wondered out loud. ‘Without Heimdall’s all-seeing eyes...’

‘I brought you here when you called. Have I not?’ Brunnhilde asked in return, her voice hard.

‘I meant no disrespect,’ Thor quickly reassured her.

‘I am more than just Asgardian, Odinson,’ she said. ‘Forget that not.’

No one would be foolish enough to forget that. She did not always stay in Asgard, but Brunnhilde was still the leader of the Valkyrior, the Choosers of the Slain, in name and spirit. She was one of greatest warriors of the Nine Realms and more than powerful enough to defend Asgard in Heimdall’s stead. Thor just did not understand why. Heimdall had always been Asgard’s guardian and all-seeing sentinel. Thor could remember no time when it had not been so.

But Brunnhilde was right, he had to ask his father about this.

He heard footsteps approaching from outside and he was relieved to hand Skurge and Amora over to the Einherjar. He could not stand looking at the sorceress, even though she was silent now. It was maybe the defeat she had suffered, her injuries, or Loki’s threat, but she kept her lips firmly shut.

But then it was not the Einherjar that entered the Observatory, much to Thor’s surprise. Instead of golden armour, shields and spears, these warriors had blades and axes. They wore dark brown leathers with white furs thrown over their shoulders, all adorned with the same gold seal. They were all Warriors of Skornheim. Thor’s brows furrowed even deeper. He had not been away from Asgard that long.

‘Greetings to you, Thunderer,’ the red-haired man on the front said, raising a fist to his chest.

‘And to you,’ Thor said in return with a nod, still frowning. He wanted to ask about their presence right away, but he had a feeling that he would receive the same answer Brunnhilde gave him. Usually, it was only war that justified summoning the warriors. They couldn’t be in war, his father would have summoned him back if that were the case.

‘Take these two to the dungeons, and fetch healers for them,’ he instructed instead.

‘Aye, Prince Thor,’ the man nodded right away.

‘Let it be known that Skurge has come to Asgard willingly,’ he added.

The man on the front glanced over to the giant warrior. Skurge stood behind him, but Thor did not mind turning his back on him. He did not have his axe, but Thor had his hammer, and Brunnhilde her sword. He would be mad to attack, especially as injured as he was.

‘That is but one less stain on the Executioner’s honour,’ the man said. Skurge was from Skornheim as well, maybe he even knew these warriors personally. The man on the front gestured with his hand – Thor should have asked for his name right away – and the other warriors moved to escort Skurge and Amora back to the city.

Thor decided to speak with my father in the meantime. The sooner he flew back to the palace the better, he had quite a few questions he needed answered.

* * *

It was easier said than done to have a word with his Father. Two other Skornheim warriors stood guard right outside the throne room. They told him that an Ambassador from Vanaheim was with the King and that they were not to be disturbed. Thor did not insist on going inside. He arrived back to Asgard unexpectedly after all. And his questions, while urgent, could wait until he was summoned.

So he decided to retreat to his room to change his armour and wash off the dust of battle. He noted the lack of Einherjar as he walked down the palace corridors, but everything else seemed to be in order. Even the damage from the dark elf invasion was repaired for the most part. His mind became restless as he walked, bothered by too many questions. He considered searching out Heimdall and his friends to ask them what happened in Asgard in his absence, but in the end he deemed it wiser to speak to his father first.

He was also torn about Loki. He had to tell his father, he had to. Thor remembered how angry Odin was after he brought Loki back from Midgard. He remembered his hard eyes and his silence well. And yet, surely he would want to know, both as a King and as a father. Thor had to tell him. He feared his Father would order him to retrieve Loki at once, by any means necessary, so Thor had to be careful about explaining the situation on Midgard. He agreed that Loki had to be brought back, but they had to tread carefully.

He had also not forgotten that Loki armed Barnes with a weapon capable of harming, and even killing Asgardians. Whatever it was that Loki was involved in, it was a dangerous matter, and it was not to be taken lightly. He just hoped his father would agree with him.

He washed quickly and put on a new armour once he reached his chamber. It did not take that much time, but even still he was barely done when he heard a knock on his door. He expected someone that would to let him know that his father was ready to see him, instead he found Eir. His return to Asgard has brought him nothing but surprises so far.

‘Welcome home,’ she said, smiling mildly.

‘It’s good to be back,’ Thor smiled in return. ‘How may I help you?’

‘Walk with me, if you would,’ Eir requested. Thor shut his door and gestured her to show the way.

‘My healers tended to the prisoners,’ Eir started. ‘We could not heal Amora’s eyes.’

‘I expected as much,’ Thor nodded.

‘Someone quite powerful and knowledgeable must’ve done it,’ Eir told him pointedly. It was a request for more information.

‘You are quite correct,’ Thor said, but did not elaborate. Eir lifted her eyebrow, but did not press for more answers.

‘We also removed these... things from their bodies,’ Eir said then and held out her palm. Thor recognized the mangled bits of metal easily. He witnessed his comrades on Midgard digging bullets out of their bodies after a battles more than once.

‘The metal I identified easily,’ Eir continued. ‘But I am still quite baffled.’

‘They’re bullets,’ Thor explained. ‘Midgardians shoot them with their guns.’

‘Yes, but...’ Eir looked at him. ‘Midgardians caused these wounds?’

‘Only one. And as far as I know, no other has a weapon quite like his,’ Thor said. He did not want to get into lengthy explanations. Many humans had guns like the one Barnes wielded, but it was true that only he had the right bullets to do serious damage.

‘It is still rather surprising,’ she said. She did not seem worried. But then again, she never seemed worried about anything. Thor always admired her strong will and clear confidence. No wound, injury, or sickness ever managed to daunt her.

She closed her hand around the three bullets and smiled at Thor again.

‘Let me accompany you to the King,’ she said then. Thor found the request strange, but agreed nonetheless.

His mind remained restless even as they chattered pleasantly. Something was amiss, he could feel it in his bones. Brunnhilde, then the Warriors of Skornheim, now Eir’s request, they all just made Thor more certain that something had changed in Asgard in his absence. Thor needed to find out what.

The warriors that stood outside the door stepped aside easily this time. Thor looked up to the throne and froze.

‘Who are you?’ he demanded right away, marching forward with purpose. Because he did not find his father on the throne of Asgard, but a young man with short brown hair, and a long white fur coat. He held Gungnir in his hand, but Thor was ready to swing Mjölnir just the same.

The man from the Observatory stood left to the man and the throne, and a few other Skornheim warriors stood around them. Thor did not fear them either.

‘Peace, Thor!’ Eir called as she ran after him, putting a hand on his shoulder as soon as she caught up with him.

‘Who are you?’ Thor demanded again.

The man walked down the stairs towards him, and the closer he was the more unsettling his features became for Thor’s eyes. His eyes, the shape of his nose, and his chin... he...

‘I ask you to listen to what I have to say before you try to get answers with your hammer,’ the man said. The warrior that stood next to him followed him down the stairs.

Thor took a deep breath to get his temper under control.

‘I asked you twice already, and I will not ask a third time,’ he said evenly, but he knew there was an entire storm in his eyes. The man did not seem afraid. He just looked at Thor for a long moment.

‘My name is Balder, and I am your brother.’

He said it so simply, but Thor was stunned into silence.

‘What?!’ he asked then, his hand tightening on his hammer, and by the Tree he could taste lightening on his tongue.

‘It’s the truth,’ Eir said before either of them could get another word out. ‘Thor, it is the truth, I examined him myself. I was very thorough and investigated in all ways possible.’ Thor finally looked back at her.

‘Blood does not lie,’ the red-haired warrior said. ‘He is a son of Odin.’

Thor felt light-headed despite standing on his feet so firmly. The more he stared at Balder’s face, the more his mind willed him to believe it. His face was softer than Thor’s, but his features were easily recognizable. Thor knew them from mirrors.

‘I do not understand,’ Thor said quietly. ‘How? How did we not… speak, you were eager to talk, so speak now! Where have you been all these years, and how are you standing in front of me now? If this is true, how had I not known?’

‘I had not known myself,’ Balder said.

‘But why would my father and mother--’

‘I am a son of Odin,’ Balder interrupted. ‘But I am not the son of your Queen Mother.’

The sky thundered with an approaching storm outside and Mjölnir hummed in Thor’s hand. He was angry. Fury was trashing in his chest, waiting to be unleashed. Balder must’ve seen it on his face, because he shifted his stance, maybe expecting to be attacked. The Skornheim warriors showed no fear, but they kept their eyes on the two of them.

‘You dare--’

‘That is also true,’ Eir told him quietly.

‘My own birth is no sin of mine,’ Balder said with a slightly louder voice. ‘And I won’t be blamed for it either, so calm yourself, Thunderer.’

‘Who is your Mother?’ Thor asked. He did not know why this was the first question out of his mouth, but he wanted to know.

‘I do not know,’ Balder said. ‘I was not raised by her and to this day I do not even know her name. I was raised by a good man, but he was clear about not being a parent of mine.’

‘Skornheim,’ Thor said, because it suddenly made sense. ‘You grew up in the Skornheim Mountains.’

‘Yes,’ Balder nodded. He did not wear the gold seal of the warriors, neither their brown armour, but the fur cloak was just as clear a message.

Thor had so many questions, and so many things he wanted to know about the man standing in front of him, but there was someone he wished to talk with much more urgently.

‘Where’s my father?’ he asked and he knew that his anger was once again tangible in the air.

‘The Allfather is on a journey and left Balder to guard the throne in his absence,’ the warrior spoke again.

‘You name?’ Thor asked finally. He had a feeling that he would be seeing him a lot.

‘Cosak, my Prince,’ he said. ‘I am a sworn Warrior of Skornheim. Lady Sigyn honoured me by making me the leader of the warriors who accompanied Balder here.’

‘Why did she send you all here? Or did my father request your presence?’

‘All kings need an honour guard,’ Cosak said simply.

‘The Einherjar have always been the guards of the King,’ Thor said.

‘The Einherjar do not know Prince Balder like we do,’ Cosak said in return.

‘You question their loyalty? If my father left Balder to rule, then they would serve him with the utmost respect.’

‘If?’ Cosak exclaimed. ‘Ask anyone in Asgard! The King announced him, claimed him as his son, gave him his name, all in public!’

He was protective, that much became clear immediately.

‘That is enough, Cosak,’ Balder said mildly. ‘This is a lot to take in at once. Prince Thor has every right to demand answers.’

Cosak did not look happy about Balder’s words, but he did not argue.

‘The people of Asgard have also been informed that the Allfather has left on a personal journey,’ Balder said then, turning back to Thor. ‘And that I am Prince Regent until he returns.’

And yet most of the warriors called him King. Brunnhilde did too.

‘Why you?’ Thor asked.

‘I had not known about my heritage up until very recently, so do not ask me to know Odin’s mind. But if you care to hear my opinion, it was the lack of options that led to the reveal of my parentage.’

‘You are so calm about this,’ Thor remarked. He was angry, would have been ever angrier in Balder’s place.

‘Oh, you had not seen me in the first few weeks,’ Balder said pleasantly, then he looked over to Eir.

‘Thank you for coming here,’ he said to her. ‘I do not wish to keep you from your duties any longer.’

‘Thank you, my liege,’ she said and turned to leave right away.

‘And now I believe Thor and I have much to discuss in private,’ Balder said.

‘As you wish,’ Cosak said.

‘I have much to tell you,’ Balder said to him. ‘So please, come with me.’ It was a request Thor could easily refuse; for what did he care about who held Gungnir in their hand? But he followed the man, while the Warriors of Skornheim stayed behind.

His chest felt tight and his heart was heavy. There was no emotion he could grab hold onto, just a storm inside him to match the weather he summoned outside. He stared at Balder as he followed him and willed himself not to make him the target of his rage.

* * *

Thor quickly realized that Balder was leading him to his parent’s… his father’s personal chamber. He really did not mind following him. He of course planned to visit his friends and Heimdall to ask them more questions, but it did not hurt to hear what Balder had to say. Thor was still trying to wrap his head around his existence. He believed Eir. If she proved that Balder was truly Odin’s son, then Thor saw no reason to demand to see evidence as well. Especially not if it was his father himself that brought him back from Skornheim. Balder’s existence was not the thing that puzzled him. It was everything that surrounded it.

Even if his Father had been unfaithful, why keep him a secret? It did not sound like him to abandon a child of his own flesh and blood. At least he left him in good hands. Had his Mother known? Thor could not imagine her not willing to accept another child into their home, even if it was a child of another. She had always loved Loki just as much as she loved Thor after all. He could see her being angry at Odin, but not an innocent life. Was it his Father who did not want him?

‘How old are you?’ Thor asked with a frown. He didn’t even think to ask this before.

‘Younger than you,’ Balder said. ‘Younger than Loki even,’ he added.

‘So tell me then,’ Thor said then. ‘How did this all happen?’

‘Soon, but first I must tell you the truth,’ Balder said as they reached the door leading to his father’s room.

‘The truth?’ Thor asked, tension seeping back into his bones. Balder just hummed and opened the door.

Thor was not sure what he expected to find on the other side of the door, but it was not his father lying in his bed, surrounded by golden protective light. He rushed to his father’s bedside without a word, kneeling down to look at him.

‘What happened?’ Thor asked. ‘I thought...’

‘Odinsleep,’ Balder said as he closed the door. ‘Happened not long after I came here, he probably felt it approaching.’

‘Why did Cosak say that he left on a journey?’ Thor demanded.

‘Because that is what the people of Asgard believe.’

‘You are lying to the people, keeping the truth from them?’

‘Eir knows. She watches over him almost every day,’ Balder said. ‘And a few chosen others are aware of the truth as well.’

‘Why the lies?’

‘You must understand,’ Balder said as he slowly walked closer. ‘I arrived here in difficult times. The invasion of the dark elves, then the death of the Queen... the people need to feel safe. If they knew the King has succumbed to the sleep...’

‘They would know that he still sees all and will return to them.’

‘But it was always the Queen that guarded the throne when it happened before... then Loki. Now all they have is me. You were gone!’

That was the truth. Thor left even before the clean-up in the city could begin.

‘Father could have called me back...’

‘You left for a reason, and he decided to come to Skornheim instead. That was his decision, not mine.’

Thor stood up from his father’s bedside to look at Balder more fully.

‘But if the Allfather has claimed you as his son, entrusted you with the throne...’

‘Loki was entrusted with the throne, and from what I heard he was betrayed within a day,’ Balder declared with a hard voice.

‘That was a very different affair,’ Thor said, but he had no idea how much Balder knew about the events that transpired.

‘That may be so, but the gist of the matter is, Thor, that even if the people of Asgard accepted me as a third son, as a prince, accepting me on the throne is different. I’m but a stranger to most of them... if they believe that Odin can return any moment, that he is still watching over them, they do not worry... and truly, he could wake up any time.’

‘No lie stays hidden forever,’ Thor warned him. ‘The trust of the people must be earned.’

‘They would have never given me a chance to earn their trust,’ Balder said. ‘And a Regent the people doubt cannot go very far.’

‘I still believe that you have taken the easier path.’

‘Easy? You think this is easy for me?’ Balder asked. Now Thor saw a glimpse of his temper. ‘I would have long returned home if I cared not for the people. Do not forget I was not groomed and prepared for this all my life, but I was needed, so I accepted. I will do all I can to guard the peace in the realm. If that means the people cannot be told about this, then so be it. And if the lie catches up to me, I will also take responsibility for that.’

It was not even the words that convinced Thor, but the fire in Balder’s eyes, the passion in his tone, and all the emotions that bled through his every breath. He didn’t even need to think too hard about why his father had not called him back, not with the way Thor left, not with all that was said between them. And now here stood Balder in front of him, another unveiled secret... a brother who wore a face so similar to his, a son his father hid away, but now found worthy to sit on the throne while he slept.

‘You are right, people fear uncertainty. They must know you in order to trust you, and for that you need time.’

Balder seemed surprised for a moment, but he quickly gathered himself. He probably expected Thor to argue with him some more.

‘Yes, uhm... thank you, for understanding my reasons.’

Then he stood there, almost uncertainly. His confidence ebbed away a little now that he no longer had to defend himself so vehemently. Thor still did not know how he felt about him, but he was quite certain that he at least wanted to get to know him.

‘I would stay with my... with father here for a little while on my own, if you do not mind.’

‘Do not correct yourself on my account,’ Balder said, lifting Gungnir up from the floor, preparing to leave. ‘He is my King and I respect him as such, but that is all.’

He smiled, but it was not a happy expression.

‘If he cared not being my father all these years, then I care not being his son now,’ Balder said. He did not wait for an answer, but headed towards the door. ‘But worry not, Prince Thor, I need not love him in order to rule. My duty is to the people.’

Then he left, closing door behind himself quietly, leaving Thor alone with his sleeping father. Thor took a deep breath, walked back to the bed, and sat down on the edge heavily.

‘I hope you know how much I would yell if you were awake,’ Thor said as he looked at him, but of course there was no answer.

* * *

Thor remained with his father for some time, he did not know how long. He spoke to him some, but not much, since he knew he could not get any answers to all the questions swirling around in his mind. He left when he actually started to feel hungry.

At first he wanted to eat by himself, but then thought better of it. He and Balder still had a lot to discuss and talking over a meal might make it easier for both of them. He caught up with the first servant he saw to find out where to look for him.

‘Oh, he eats with the guards,’ the young lady said quickly, some fine drapes in her arms. She was quite young, and Thor did not know her personally.

‘The guards?’

‘From Skornheim, my Prince, they all came here with him. He’s got friends among them, I’m quite sure of that.’

‘And where do the fine warriors of Skornheim dine?’

‘Oh, in the hall the Einherjar used to eat in,’ she said. ‘Do you want me to accompany you?’

‘No, I know the way well, thank you.’

‘You’re very welcome,’ she smiled and went on her way. Her dark green dress seemed a little plain, even for a servant, but what did Thor know about court fashion.

Before he could return to Midgard he had to talk with the people who worked at the palace as well. They would be able to tell him a lot about what sort of a person Balder was. He couldn’t well leave Asgard until he knew more about him, no matter what his father decided while Thor was away.

He approached the hall, and heard the sound of talking and laughing long before he stepped inside. He was also not really surprised when the noise subdued at the sight of him. Balder was indeed sitting with the warriors.

‘Thor!’ Balder greeted. ‘Were you looking for me perhaps?’

‘In a way,’ Thor answered. ‘Thought we might share a meal this evening.’

Balder did not hesitate with his answer. ‘Join us then, if the company is to your liking.’

He gestured at the men and women sitting around the long table, young and old, all looking at him. It’s been many years since Thor visited Skornheim, maybe he would even get the chance to hear how things fared in the mountains.

‘Gladly,’ Thor answered with a smile. Cosak stood up from Balder’s left and moved over to a different seat, freeing up a place. Thor thanked him with a nod.

‘Let’s drink then, for your return,’ Balder said, raising his cup. All the warriors followed his example. ‘Welcome home, Thunderer.’

The warriors raised their cups in answer and drank to his health. Thor smiled and drank as well.

‘To the Allfather and his safe return!’ Someone else called, which made everyone drink again. Thor drank to his father’s health, hoping he would wake up again soon.

Another warrior stood up, this time a dark-haired woman with a scar down her long neck. ‘I raise my glass to the memory of our beloved Queen, who was wise, kind and powerful. Her spirit shall guide us in times of need.’

The noise around the table was more solemn, but they all drank to Frigga’s memory. Thor felt his heart clench, because he missed her still, he was always going to miss her.

‘To our lost prince Loki,’ someone else exclaimed, surprising Thor. ‘Sharp and strong, like the finest blade, gone but not forgotten.’

‘Well said, Skoval,’ Balder said after he put his cup down. Then he looked over to Thor with a small smile on his face. ‘You seem surprised.’

‘I have not heard anyone raise a glass in Loki’s honour in a long time,’ Thor said.

‘He was our prince for a thousand years,’ Balder said. ‘No matter what happened, that should not be forgotten.’

Thor wondered if he should tell him about Loki. He was not convinced it was the best idea, so he had to think about it. This was also not the right time of course.

‘And I raise my cup to our Prince Regent,’ Cosak said. ‘To Balder the Brave!’

‘Balder the Brave!’ the warriors echoed. Balder laughed and raised his cup at Cosak in return.

‘That is very a fine title,’ Thor said. The warriors of Skornheim bestowed titles only upon the finest men and women. Like Skurge, the Executioner and Thor himself was called the Thunderer.

‘And a very well deserved one at that,’ Cosak said again, pride in his every word.

‘That is a tale I have to hear,’ Thor said.

‘I can tell you right now!’ Cosak said.

‘Later, my friend, we do not need to hear it every day,’ Balder laughed. ‘I’m sure Thor will stay with us for at least a little while.’

‘I will,’ Thor confirmed.

‘Tomorrow then,’ Cosak said. ‘I will tell you the whole glorious story.’

‘Or maybe you should finally let someone more talented with words tell the tale,’ one of the women called, making the whole table laugh.

They ate and drank and Thor himself was silent for a while, just watched the warriors and Balder. He did not just have their respect, but also their love, that was obvious even after such a short time. Balder himself seemed much more relaxed in their company.

‘What of Amora and Skurge?’ Thor asked after a while.

‘Amora is imprisoned,’ Balder said. ‘Just like Lorelei. But Skurge will be taken back to Skornheim. I will leave it up to Lady Sigyn to decide on a suitable punishment for his crimes. Skurge himself has accepted the verdict.’

Thor nodded in agreement. Skurge had been gone from Asgard for a long time, but he was of Skornheim still, so it was only right to let the Lady Sigyn be his judge.

‘What do you think she will do? She must be told that Amora had cast a spell on him.’

‘She will be told, but Skurge had broken his oaths long before that. I imagine her marking him so that he will be reminded of his sins forever, but beyond that... I do not know. I trust Lady Sigyn’s wisdom. She can be harsh, but she is never cruel. Justice will be served.’

‘His greatest crime is turning his back on us,’ one of the older men at the table said. ‘It is only right that he will be judged by our Matriarch.’

Many other warriors voiced their agreement.

‘How is the Lady Sigyn then?’ Thor asked. ‘It hasn’t been that long since she became the Lady of the Castle of Skornheim, has it?

‘But already she has proven to be an even finer leader than her father used to be,’ Balder said.

‘To Lady Sigyn!’ one of the warriors shouted and a new round of toasts started. Thor felt himself smile. He truly liked the company. It reminded him why he enjoyed visiting the Skornheim Mountains in his youth.

‘I must say, I am still surprised you are here,’ Balder said. ‘I thought you might visit your companions.’

‘Tomorrow,’ Thor told him as he started putting food on the new plate that was put in front of him by a server. ‘They’re not here in the palace.’

‘No, not any more,’ Balder confirmed.

‘I assume that is for the same reason why Heimdall is no longer at the Observatory, and also why I have not seen any Einherjar.’

‘The Einherjar guard the city,’ Balder told him. ‘The people know them, trust them, while I have my own protection and do not require their services.’

‘So should I take the presence of our current company as Lady Sigyn’s support of you?’

‘Partially,’ Balder answered. ‘She certainly does not mind someone with ties to Skornheim on the throne, but these men here, these fine valiant warriors...’

Some of the warriors started laughing in reaction to his words, and their laughter made Balder smile in return.

‘I grew up with most of them... was mentored by others.’

‘We were happy to accompany him,’ Cosak said.

‘Are you also one of Lady Sigyn’s sworn warriors then?’ Thor asked.

‘No,’ Balder laughed. ‘My guardian, Holvar, told me time and time again that I was not meant to be bound to such service. Now, of course, I know why he said that.’

‘He’s the one who raised you?’ Thor asked.

‘Aye, the old Holvar of the Single Eye,’ Balder agreed, then gave Thor a look. ‘It’s the other eye he’s missing, mind you, not much resemblance.’

That made Thor huff out a laugh.

‘He fought on Odin’s side in the war against Jotunheim,’ one of the dark skinned shieldmaidens spoke up. ‘He was one of his trusted generals.’

The name did sound familiar to Thor, but Odin had many generals over the years, several even in the great war against Jotunheim.

‘I understand you feel more comfortable to be guarded by warriors you know. But so many changes at once might cause unrest, don’t you think?’ Thor asked.

‘That may be so, but I need to trust those around me,’ Balder said.

‘Heimdall has...’

‘Heimdall has betrayed two of his lords, one of them being Odin himself. And your companions are even more likely to go against every oath they took.’

Thor felt anger stirring in his chest on his friends’ behalf.

‘They have always been loyal servants of Asgard.’

‘No, they have always been loyal to you! I need warriors that are loyal to me and the throne, men and women who won’t turn their backs on me the second you so wish.’

‘When the dark elves attacked...’ Thor tried to explain.

‘I am not just talking about the invasion,’ Balder interrupted him. ‘I’ve been keeping my ears open. I listened to both proudly declared words and quiet whispers. I will not have warriors on my side who are waiting with their every breath for your return.’

‘Odin has chosen you,’ Thor said.

‘It matters not,’ Balder dismissed his words right away. ‘If they were all willing to betray Odin himself for you, then how am I to trust that they won’t do the same to me the second they think I’ve made a mistake. Tell me that, Thor. Can you truly expect me to have faith in their loyalty?’

‘What they have done, has always been for the good of Asgard,’ Thor said.

‘Yes, but they also think that it would be for the good of Asgard if you were on the throne instead of me.’

‘And you disagree?’ Thor asked.

‘I think you do not realize that being king is not just a prize at the end of the road. The reward for when you have learnt all your lessons. A king is a servant of his people, not just their ruler. The crown is not something you pick up when you please, only to toss it away again when you fancy an adventure on Midgard.’

‘I left, I know that,’ Thor said.

‘You left after you have forfeited the throne, so I’m here instead. I have not been raised a prince, I was not prepared for this, but I have accepted the responsibility. I have accepted to serve the people of Asgard to the best of my abilities. So if you believe, that you can demand the throne now, after you’ve already given it up, then be prepared that I will not give it to you easily.’

‘It was not my intention to do so,’ Thor told him honestly. ‘I still do not think that I am ready.’

‘This is not about you,’ Balder said, almost harshly. ‘This is about what the realm needs. You may think you are entitled to the throne, but I don’t believe you are willing to put down your hammer and serve Asgard as its king instead of its wandering hero. Maybe you thought the throne would be always waiting for you, but Asgard deserves better than that.’

Thor felt all eyes around the table on him, but he kept his own eyes on Balder. There was that fire in his gaze again, compassion and conviction. And Thor did not doubt even for a second that he was willing to fight Thor on this. The warriors did not name him Balder the Brave for no reason. Thor smiled, he really wanted to hear the tale of how he received his title now. He seemed so calm, gentle, even serene, then in just a heartbeat he was ready to fight.

His smile made Balder relax, and the tension broke around the table. Some of the warriors even started talking quietly amongst themselves.

‘I have no intention of fighting you,’ Thor said. ‘I may not know you that well yet, but I can already see why my father believed that you would make a fine Regent, even King.’

Balder stared at him for a moment, then just like before, the fight went out of him almost instantly. His face softened and his voice was gentle again when he spoke.

‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘Things might change, when Odin is back on the throne, but for now we must do what is best for all. I will guard the throne and Asgard, and you can continue to protect the Nine Realms, as you have done all this time.’

‘Well said,’ Thor agreed, making Balder smile again.

He still had much to do before he could return to Midgard, but for now he was convinced that his father made the right choice. He looked around at the great warriors of Skornheim, with Balder sitting at the head of the table, and he believed that Asgard would be well protected while his father slept.

* * *


	30. Chapter 30

Steve hadn’t seen hide nor hair of either Loki or Bucky since they took down Amora and Skurge on the Hashima Island. They didn’t even left together. Loki was of course eager to get going, while Natasha insisted they remain until the men who were attacking them could receive some help. In the end they decided to stay and get back to the US on their own.

Not that there was much they could do for the pale-faced men as they died one-by-one in the hospital. Organ failure mostly, sometimes a stroke, or a heart-attack, all very natural ways to die... normally. There was nothing normal about how those men died, not with the way they acted and looked like. Not with the way their insides were after the autopsy. That inky-blue colour around their mouths spread everywhere inside them. They had dozens of questions, and no one to give answers, as usual.

That was weeks ago and nothing happened since then. Not a word from Strange, no unusual events on their radar… nothing. It was kind of infuriating and put Steve in a rotten mood. He was still at Stark Tower too, since he considered it too much of a risk to be far away from everyone else. If the events on Hashima proved anything, it was that they needed to be able to move together as a team, sometimes at the drop of a hat. And it was good to be back in New York. Even with all his bitter-sweet memories, it was home in a way Washington never was.

He hoped that the reason for Bucky’s radio-silence was that nothing worrisome, but he was not naïve enough to believe that. It was much more likely that Loki and Bucky went back to doing things on their own, not involving anyone. Most of the team agreed that they would eventually find something that would tell them what was going on with this whole mess, but Steve was so tired of waiting. Tony’s gym was the victim of his frustration… and anyone who was willing to spar with him.

Of course he should have known how it was going to happen. He should have expected this very scenario from day one. The scenario being someone stabbed, shot, or otherwise injured, bleeding all over his floor in the middle of the night. Steve wanted to be annoyed at the sight in front of him, but it was Bucky…

‘What the hell happened?’ Steve asked. He got out of his bed when HELEN informed him that he had intruders on the floor, only to find the very unpleasant sight of an injured Bucky and a very pissed-off Loki arguing in his living room.

He noticed the blood first, because Bucky had his hand pressed to his abdomen and his fingers were crimson, but as the lights came up he finally saw the whole picture. His face must’ve looked horrified as he ran closer, because Bucky’s metal arm was completely trashed. It was mangled and twisted, the fingers bending in unnatural angles, some of the plates were bent and curving away from the rest of the arm. And Loki was in the middle of pulling out some thin metal rod from it.

‘Shit what… what do we do?’ he asked, hands hovering above Bucky.

‘Bullet wounds are kinda a priority,’ Bucky gestured at his abdomen, then looked over to his broken arm. ‘I can’t feel this one.’

‘Be grateful for that,’ Loki said as she pried away a panel to get to the rod that pierced through the whole arm.

‘Grateful?!’ Bucky snapped. ‘I have two bullets in my gut and my arm is fucked to hell, otherwise I would have punched you in the fucking mouth already.’

‘Oh, don’t be so dramatic,’ Loki said.

Bucky gritted his teeth, looking pissed as hell, but he turned to Steve instead of saying anything.

‘Bullets, Steve,’ he reminded him. Shit, yeah.

‘ _Do you require medical assistance on your floor, Steve?_ ’ HELEN asked as he ran to his bathroom to get the well-packed first aid kit he had there.

‘No, HELEN. Everything is under control. Did you ring any alarms?’

‘ _It would have been irresponsible not to_ ,’ HELEN said. Steve almost froze for a second, but HELEN continued. ‘ _You are hereby reminded that if your “guests” attempt to leave your floor there will be consequences, which include, but are not limited to the use of blasters and calling for the intervention of the Hulk._ ’

‘Tell Tony not to worry,’ Steve said.

‘ _Also, Natasha wishes you good luck_ ,’ HELEN added.

‘Is nobody asleep in this tower?’ Steve wondered out loud as he headed back out of the bathroom. ‘Privacy mode, please.’

‘ _Privacy mode is subject to the reduction of the current threat level,_ ’ HELEN informed him. ‘ _But I will be the only one watching._ ’

‘Thanks, HELEN.’ It was the best Steve was going to get, so there was no point arguing. He also knew that the only reason they were left alone was that the others all believed that Bucky (and maybe even Loki) was more likely to give out information with just Steve around.

‘Stop moving around so much,’ Loki was saying when Steve walked back into the room. She was still trying to get that piece of metal out of Bucky’s arm

‘I’m gonna stab you in the throat,’ Bucky said through gritted teeth.

‘You will try, James,’ Loki told him with a smile.

‘I thought you couldn’t feel that,’ Steve said as he knelt down on the couch next to Bucky.

‘I don’t feel the arm, but I feel it when someone is pulling on my fucking nerve endings,’ Bucky said, glaring at Loki. Loki just hummed and pulled on the thin rod again, which made Bucky’s mangled metal fingers twitch and click in weird and disturbing ways.

‘Steve… bullets,’ Bucky said… again.

‘You don’t seem to be dying,’ Steve said easily.

‘Don’t you start,’ Bucky warned.

‘There,’ Loki said, then she finally pulled out the piece of metal that was lodged between the plates of the metal arm.

It was Steve’s cue to get working.

‘Let me help getting these off,’ Steve said, gesturing at the leather vest, and what was probably Kevlar underneath it. Fortunately, they were mostly just straps and snaps, so getting it off was relatively easy. Not even the Kevlar was difficult to remove, although all the moving around made Bucky grit his teeth again.

‘How the hell did they shoot you through all these layers?’ Steve wondered out loud as he cut into Bucky’s undershirt, the last of the clothing in the way.

‘Yeah, I fucking wonder how that happened,’ Bucky said very pointedly.

‘It was hardly my fault,’ Loki said. She stood up when Steve started to pry Bucky out of his clothes, but she did not walk too far.

‘If you could stop running your mouth off at every ancient being who could snap you in half, we wouldn’t end up in this much shit!’ Bucky said.

‘Not… snap me in half,’ Loki protested.

‘That is so not the point!’ Bucky told her.

‘As if I could let them have the last word like that,’ Loki declared. Her words made Bucky let out a sound that was kinda like a growl.

‘I grew up with that reckless stupid punk,’ he said, jerking his head at Steve. ‘And that still did not prepare me for your level of idiocy. Unbelievable.’

Loki just scoffed and looked away.

‘Not sure if I was insulted or complimented there,’ Steve remarked.

‘Fucking bullets in me, Steve,’ Bucky said.

‘They’re not in that deep, you’ll be fine, and you gotta stop moving around first if you want me to get them out.’

That finally made him stay put, but it probably helped that Loki didn’t continue the argument. Steve sprayed the wounds with analgesic first. He knew it didn’t do that much for the likes of him and Bucky, but it was better than nothing.

‘So…’ Steve started, maybe a little conversation would distract Bucky from the fact that Steve was going to be digging around in the wounds. ‘Who shot you then?’

‘Arcade, that piece of shit.’

‘The assassin?’

‘That’s the one,’ Bucky said. He did not wince or react at all when Steve pushed the pliers into the wound, Steve wasn’t sure whether he liked that or not.

‘They must be paying him some big money,’ Steve said.

‘I think it’s more about fame than wealth,’ Loki said. ‘After all, killing the infamous Winter Soldier would be quite an achievement for someone in his profession.’

‘Well, that ain’t good,’ Steve said. ‘That’s a much better motivation than money.’

Those who only worked for money gave up more easily than those who had a more personal agenda.

‘It won’t matter either way when I rip his head off,’ Loki spat angrily.

Steve pulled the first bullet out and immediately went to work on the second one.

‘But I guess he was not the “ancient being” Loki pissed off,’ Steve prompted.

‘No, Gor-Tok,’ Bucky said.

‘And they’re working together?’ Steve asked. Bucky nodded.

‘That’s kind of copying your MO, don’t you think?’ Steve wondered out loud.

‘That did not escape our notice either,’ Loki agreed, not sounding too pleased. Steve was also not happy about it.

‘There, done,’ he announced as he got the second bullet out. ‘We bandage it and you should be right as rain, but I have no idea what to do with the arm. I mean, I guess Tony could…’

‘No, let’s not,’ Bucky protested.

‘Just finish that up and I’ll do the rest,’ Loki said. Well, that did not sound ominous at all, even if Bucky looked really relaxed about it. Steve would have to trust him on this, it was his arm after all.

Trust did not include standing up from the couch though, not even after he was done helping putting on the bandages. Maybe he was paranoid, maybe he was unnecessarily protective, but he wanted to be within reach during whatever was about to happen.

Loki got back to the couch and straightened Bucky’s metal arm as much as possible. Bucky made a face, but he did not seem to be in pain because of it, maybe it was just because of the strange sharp noise the arm made as the plates rubbed together in weird angles. Steve watched as Loki ran a finger over a few of the plates.

‘How do you… I mean, even if you know how to fix it, don’t you need tools or something?’

‘Silence,’ Loki said simply. Green energy started pulsating on Loki’s fingertips and soon it was seeping into the metal under her hand, slipping between the plates and deeper inside. Steve was tense as he watched and Bucky must’ve noticed.

‘Hey relax,’ he said, drawing Steve’s eyes away from the arm.

‘Sorry just…’ there was a click and some of the plates started coming off from the arm, glowing with pulsing green light. But instead of falling off they started floating, hovering around the rest of the arm, just out of the way.

Loki kept moving her hand and more and more bent plates detached from the arm, revealing more of the delicate parts and wires inside. Steve wasn’t sure what he expected, maybe something that looked like the arms of robots, a mess of wires twisting around a metal endoskeleton like the inside of Ultron’s bots, but this looked nothing like it. There were wires, but they were thick and glowing blue… well, some of them a greenish-blue at the moment. And there were a lot more tiny parts – moving and shifting, interconnecting with each other – than Steve expected.

‘You can leave if it’s weird to see it,’ Bucky said, obviously noticing Steve’s staring.

‘No, that’s not it… it just doesn’t look the way I expected. On the inside, I mean.’

He could see almost everything now, since most plates were floating… no, they were not just floating, they were straightening out, returning to their original shape. Damn, magic was handy.

‘It’s not as crude and unsophisticated as Midgardian inventions,’ Loki mumbled distractedly.

‘But… it is Earth-tech,’ Steve frowned. ‘Hydra made it.’

‘Hydra always had more than just human technology at their disposal,’ Bucky told him.

‘Are you telling me your arm is alien technology?’ Steve asked.

‘Hybrid,’ Bucky said simply. ‘A bit of this and a bit of that, mostly not human.’

‘That’s why you know what to do with it,’ Steve said, looking up at Loki. ‘Is it Asgardian or something?’

‘Please, it’s nowhere near that advanced,’ Loki scoffed. ‘And I would be able to figure it out even if it were just simplistic Midgardian technology.’

‘Don’t try to get into that argument,’ Bucky warned Steve. ‘So not worth it.’

Steve took his advice and stopped asking questions. Loki’s sense of superiority was one of the things Steve knew all too well.

There was still an urge to talk, but he stayed silent sitting next to Bucky, who still seemed completely relaxed. Steve hoped his presence contributed to that. They sat close to each other, touching almost everywhere from shoulder to hip, and their legs bumped whenever Steve moved a little. If not for the strange magical repairs going on at the same time, it would have been completely peaceful.

* * *

Watching the arm reassemble was just as fascinating as it was to see it fall apart with magic. And once Loki was done and the green light of magic ebbed away, Bucky’s arm looked new. Steve could’ve sworn it looked even shinier than before. He still stopped himself from saying “wow” out loud when Bucky started to move the arm and his fingers, testing it out.

He was sure that Tony could’ve fixed it too – if Steve managed to convince him to do it – but it was good to know that Loki could do this so easily. Of course that also made Steve wonder how many times this happened before.

‘Stay put,’ Loki said as she stood up from the couch.

‘Where the hell you think you’re going?’ Bucky asked

‘I’m going back, we were hardly done,’ Loki said. ‘But you’re no use to me like this, so stay put.’

‘The hell you’re going alone, that’s goddamn stupid.’

He moved to get up, but Steve was faster and put an arm across his chest to stop him.

‘You are not going anywhere,’ he told him. ‘I dug two bullets out of you not even an hour ago. You don’t heal that quickly.’

Bucky was going to argue, Steve knew it just by the look on his face.

‘You can either stay here, or I take you back to the hideout,’ Loki said, her tone hard as stone, leaving no room for arguments. Normally, such a tone would not stop Steve from arguing anyway, but this time he happened to agree, as weird as it was to agree with Loki.

‘He’s staying,’ Steve said before Bucky could open his big stupid mouth again.

‘Very well, I’ll be back,’ Loki said as she turned her back on them. The movements that led to the opening of a portal were familiar to see at this point.

Steve’s face must’ve been very easy to read, because Bucky didn’t even try to get out of his hold. He knew better than to expect back-up on this from Steve.

‘ _The threat level has been reduced_ ,’ HELEN said the second Loki’s portal vanished. ‘ _Do you still want to activate private mode?_ ’

‘Yes, please, HELEN.’

‘ _Primary surveillance deactivated_ ,’ HELEN reported. ‘ _The system will automatically restart at 0800, or in a case of emergency_.’

‘Make that 9 o’clock, thanks,’ Steve said, and then turned back to Bucky, who still looked both pissed and a little sullen.

‘This is bullshit,’ Bucky said.

‘You need to heal, come on, you know that,’ Steve told him.

‘I was on field with worse injuries,’ Bucky argued stubbornly.

‘Well, this ain’t Hydra and I’m not going to let you torture yourself,’ Steve told him.

Now that Bucky was relatively fine, and his arm didn’t look like it came out of a metal shredder, Steve felt some of his anger return. He tried to keep a lid on it for now, but the shift in his tone was obvious.

‘Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,’ he said, changing the subject. ‘You’re still covered with way too much blood.’

Bucky stared at him for a moment, then just made a quiet agreeing sound. Again, he did not wince or make a sound when he stood up, but Steve felt his muscles tense.

‘You don’t have to pretend you’re not in pain.’

‘Habit,’ Bucky said simply, just shrugging it off.

‘Bad habit.’

Bucky wasn’t that injured, so Steve didn’t have to carry him or anything, but he still stayed close, keeping a hand on his lower-back. Bucky didn’t seem to mind.

‘Wanna sit down or...’ Steve asked once they reached the bathroom.

‘I’m good,’ Bucky said, leaning against a wall.

‘Okay, so the shower’s out for now, because of the bandages, but I’ve got plenty of wash cloths and towels.’

As he talked he moved over to one of the cupboards and pulled out a handful of them, then got out two towels too just in case. Bucky’s hair was still long, maybe he wanted to wash it.

‘You get started and I’ll get you some change of clothes, all right?’ he said and headed out, but Bucky grabbed hold of his t-shirt before he could leave.

‘You’re mad,’ he said simply, frowning at Steve’s face.

‘No, it’s fine,’ Steve protested. This was not the time, Bucky was shot, he looked beat as all hell, Steve wasn’t going to...

‘Steve.’

And that tone of voice just made it impossible for him to leave.

‘Is this how it’s going to go?’ he asked, turning back to Bucky, who was still gripping his t-shirt, not convinced that Steve was not about to take off. ‘I have not heard from you since Japan, and that was over three weeks ago,’ Steve continued. ‘And I know you have a phone, but still not a beep, Buck, not even a goddamn text message to let me know you’re alive. So is this how it’s going to go? Am I only going to know what the hell is going on with you when you need a place to lay low, or someone is bleeding all over the place?’

Bucky kept looking at him, then his fingers loosened and he dropped his hand.

‘We shouldn’t have come here,’ he said absently.

Steve was so... ‘No! That’s not what I mean. That’s the opposite of what I mean. I want to help you, and I’m always going to be here when you need me, but you can’t just leave me hanging for--’

Bucky grabbed his t-shirt again, this time with both hands, and pulled him closer for a soft kiss. That was one way to shut him up, but Steve did not know how he felt about it just yet. His body relaxed almost automatically, but he couldn’t just let this go.

‘I’m sorry,’ Bucky said as soon as they parted. He did not let go of Steve. He pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek next, then kept his head there, repeating the words, his lips close to Steve’s ear. ‘I’m sorry... I’m sorry, don’t be mad.’

Well, that did it.

‘I’m not mad,’ Steve said, pulling back to be able to look at Bucky’s face. ‘I’m scared to death.’

‘What?’

‘That’s what I mean... I’m terrified of losing you again. That one day you’ll leave without ever coming back.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yes “oh”, you jerk, I worry about you.’

‘I don’t know why I didn’t think of that,’ Bucky said. ‘I guess I’m just not used to it... any more.’

It was Steve’s turn to kiss him, just as soft and gentle as Bucky kissed him before. It broke his heart a little, to hear Bucky say that. It was the same as him hiding his pain. He did it out of habit, because he was used to nobody giving a damn. This was not something that returning memories could fix, this could only get better with time. Steve just had to remind him until then. Had to tell him over and over again that he was here, right here for him.

Their kiss deepened as it went on, so when they parted again, Steve felt his lips tingle, and he was sure they were red too.

‘I’ll call you, all right?’ Bucky said. ‘Or text, whatever.’

‘It would be also nice to see you when you’re not covered in blood,’ Steve said.

‘I don’t know...’

‘Yeah, I get it,’ Steve sighed, because he did. While this shit was going on, Bucky couldn’t just come and go as he pleased. God, Steve really wanted this to be over, for Bucky to be done with his deal once and for all.

‘Are you really okay?’ he asked instead., not just meaning the injuries.

‘Long fucking day,’ Bucky said, which was fair enough, since he was shot twice, plus whatever the hell happened to his arm. ‘I’m tired.’

‘You should lie down and sleep once you cleaned up, okay?’ Steve said, moving to pull away, but Bucky didn’t let go.

‘Tired of this whole goddamn mess,’ he continued, making it clear what he meant.

‘Things are not going well,’ Steve concluded.

‘Tarfu,’ Bucky said with a huff. “ _Things are really fucked up.”_

‘If you need help you know...’

‘I know... just this... okay... just...’ Bucky said as he literally dragged him close again until they stood chest-to-chest, then he even put his arms around Steve, keeping him close.

‘Okay,’ Steve agreed easily as he wrapped himself around him as tightly as he dared, considering Bucky’s injuries. And damn, it felt good to hold him close. Bucky let out a large breath and relaxed after a moment. Steve didn’t even notice how tense he still was until now. It made him want to never let go of him. He left one of his hands around Bucky’s lower back, but slid the other one up to his hair, stroking it. Bucky leaned forward, letting Steve take his weight. And then it only took one small movement to slide their lips together again.

It started out soft and light, like all their kisses before, but the way Bucky kept gripping his t-shirt, the way he pressed himself close to Steve, they both felt that there was more lurking underneath it this time. Something much deeper. And sure enough, Bucky moved his hands to grip Steve’s head, prying open his lips with his own. Steve made a surprised sound at the urgency of the gesture, not expecting such a sudden shift, but he followed Bucky’s lead.

He knew Bucky needed him, and that it was not just about comfort or safety. He knew that there was something new between them, something that’s been building, shifting and changing ever since Bucky started regaining his memories. And the way Bucky kissed him now, hard and demanding, he was more aware of it than ever before.

Steve made another sound when Bucky leaned back to the wall, pulling Steve with him, keeping them close. It was not a sound he made out of surprise, it was something breathless and excited. He kissed Bucky back, matching his fervour, and he just knew he never kissed anyone like this before. His hand kept rubbing Bucky’s waist, his fingers sliding back and forth on his bare skin.

‘Now you’re getting it,’ Bucky said, when they parted for a moment, still breathing the same air.

‘Buck... we talked about this, I don’t know...’ Steve said, breathing hard. He didn’t want to screw this up.

‘Yeah, and I told you,’ Bucky said as he slid his fingers into Steve’s hair, gripping it just enough for Steve to feel it, but not cause any pain. ‘That I’m all right enough to know what I want. It’s you, it’s... I want you right here. I want you to kiss me the way you just kissed me, like you want me as close as I want you.’

‘Of course I do,’ Steve told him, pressing their foreheads together. He moved his right hand again, sliding it up and down on Bucky’s waist and back. It felt good to be allowed to touch him like this. After everything that happened to Bucky, for him to feel this comfortable around Steve still, it was nothing short of a miracle. He didn’t shy away, flinched, or tensed, it made Steve almost dizzy with emotions. Bucky didn’t just trust him close, but wanted him close, wanted his hands on his skin, his lips on his.

‘I’m so happy you’re here,’ he blurted out without thinking, because it was the goddamn truth. He’s been drifting, since he woke up in this day and age. Everything was just a blur of duties, responsibilities, and missions. He was not truly back, not truly alive, not until the moment he saw Bucky’s face again.

And the way Bucky looked at him now, it just made him want to say more, tell him exactly how grey and muffled the world had been without him. But he didn’t get the chance, because Bucky kissed him again, answered without words, pulled him as close as he could, not caring, or completely forgetting about his injuries. Steve kissed him back and let his hands roam, just a little at first, just rubbing Bucky’s skin under his hand, but he became bolder after Bucky made a pleased groan, pulling on his hair again.

It made him hard, hearing those sounds from Bucky. It made him want to kiss him harder, deeper, touch him everywhere, because Bucky felt good, Steve made him feel good. And his hands on Steve, his kisses, his heavy breathing, all of him demanded more. And Steve wanted to give him everything, he really did.

He dragged his lips away from Bucky’s red mouth, followed the line of his strong jaw with kisses, right up to his ear. Bucky’s bionic hand slid under Steve’s t-shirt, and the feel of smooth metal made him shiver and breath out a moan. Bucky kept moving his metal hand up and down his back, but he slid the other one back down to Steve’s hip and gripped him tight, pulled him close until their pelvises pressed together. It made Steve’s breath catch.

‘Oh God, Bucky,’ he breathed out, feeling a hardness just as eager as his own. It made his blood pump heavily, even with two layers of clothing between them.

‘Tell me, if you wanna stop or something,’ Bucky said as he leaned in to kiss and suck on Steve’s neck.

‘No,’ Steve replied immediately, turning his head to kiss Bucky again.

Bucky had enough of Steve’s t-shirt, but he didn’t go as far as tearing it off, although it was a close thing. The way he scowled at the piece of clothing before he tossed it away made Steve laugh before he leaned in for another kiss.

Bucky’s hands felt so much better now that they could roam Steve’s upper-body without anything in the way. Steve could also feel it when his stomach touched the bandages on Bucky’s abdomen. It made him pause and look down in worry.

‘You really think I’m able to feel two already half-healed wounds with how fired up I am?’ Bucky asked. Fair point, but Steve still made sure not to touching him anywhere around the bandages.

Bucky literally laughed into their next kiss, the bastard, so Steve bit his lips in revenge, but Bucky just made a deep groan and thrust his hips forward. Steve was not proud of the broken noise he made, but he also did not give a damn about it. He rolled his hips forward in answer, finally making Bucky moan as well.

They were nowhere near fully naked, but this already felt like it was going to burn him up from the inside. Then Bucky slid a few fingers under the waistband of his sweatpants, a tease, a question, whatever it was, it made Steve want to tear all their clothes off. He nodded vehemently, pressing into Bucky’s touch encouragingly, then dropped both his hands to Bucky’s trousers, tearing at the belt and buttons.

Their eyes met for a second and Steve slowed down just a little to press forward gently, kissing Bucky deeply and thoroughly with open lips. Their kiss ended when Bucky touched him, rubbed his warm hand over Steve’s hot length. Oh god, he was going to explode, and it was going to happen way too quickly.

His fingers worked fast and he got Bucky’s trousers open as quickly as he could. They were not as convenient as Steve’s sweats, but he still managed to push them down a little, along with Bucky’s underwear, to get to him. And fuck, it felt good to grip him, wrap his fingers around his dick and make him moan, just like Bucky made him moan.

They lost their minds a little after that. There was not much room for thinking, they just kept driving each other higher and higher with their hands and mouths. Bucky pushed their hands out of the way after some time, gripping Steve’s hips and pulling him closer until their naked cocks lined up and touched. Steve started rolling his hips forward, rubbing them together, while Bucky urged him on with his hands on his hips.

And the noises, damn. Bucky’s mouth was constantly on his neck, because they were almost too breathless to kiss properly. He was so close to Steve’s ear that he could hear every noise, every gasp and moan and... whimpers, god. He never wanted to stop making Bucky feel this good.

‘Steve,’ Bucky gasped out, both in bliss and urgency, he had to be close. So Steve reached between their bodies and wrapped his hand around both of them, stroking them fast, gripping them tight enough to make them both moan loudly. Bucky let go of his Steve’s hips and let his hands grip at his back and neck. Sometimes he even slid his hand up to pull at his hair again. He couldn’t keep his hands in one place, he had to keep digging his fingers into Steve’s skin. It made Steve hope for marks, bruises, anything.

Steve trust forward into the wet heat of his hand and the movement made Bucky gasp his name out, throwing his head back. The long line of Bucky’s neck was his undoing. He knew he moaned Bucky’s name, maybe he even repeated it over and over again, he didn’t pay attention. He was so close he could taste it on his lips. He kept kissing the skin under Bucky’s ear, his neck, then his jaw. He loved the taste of him on his tongue.

He let himself go when Bucky gripped the back of his head to crush their lips together again. Steve moaned into the kiss as his hips stuttered and warm come covered his hand and both of them. Bucky followed him over the edge with a groan that made Steve’s spine tingle with excitement.

God... he was so gone, so gone for him.

He kept stroking both of their softening cocks until it became too much, then he just leaned forward into Bucky, slowly getting his breath back under control. Bucky put his arms around his shoulders and held him close. It felt so good, so damn good. He didn’t even care about the mess, he just wanted to stay like this, the two of them wrapped around each other, for as long as possible.

‘Steve.’

‘Hm?’ he asked, not moving.

‘I’m happy to be here too,’ Bucky said. ‘With you...’

Steve pulled back a little to give him a smile, it must’ve looked really goofy, because Bucky huffed fondly and pulled him in for another kiss.

Steve didn’t care about looking sappy or silly or anything else, because it’s been way too long since he felt this happy, so he was going to enjoy it dammit, for as long as he could.

* * *


	31. Chapter 31

Bucky slept like four maybe five hours, and it was a lot more than what he usually managed. No nightmares either, which was a rare gift. He contributed both the number of hours and the lack of horrible visions to Steve lying next to him. And what a sight that was. Bucky woke up a little earlier than him, so he had a chance to just stare. It probably looked a little disturbing from the outside, but only because nobody would have been able to see the things that were going through his head.

He wanted to stretch and move his limbs, but he was sure it would wake Steve and he didn’t want that yet. So he ignored the urge and stayed still, kept his breathing steady and even relaxed a little. That was not something he did a lot nowadays, but last night… well, he felt plenty relaxed after that. He couldn’t even recall the last time someone touched him like that. Maybe it was still back in the war. He doubted it ever happened on any of the Hydra missions he couldn’t yet remember.

He didn’t really touch himself either since taking back his own life, it didn’t feel… it didn’t feel much like anything. It was a physical release, but it didn’t do much else for him. It was kinda like those long hot showers he still couldn’t bring himself to take, because it was hard to be kind to his body, hard to take care of himself. But he had not felt any of that cold detachment when Steve touched him. His body was his own and it felt like that even in his own mind. No wonder he was so relaxed. Maybe he could take a long shower too, if Steve were with him. That was a brilliant idea.

Steve stirred about an hour after Bucky woke up. Watching him blinking up at the ceiling sleepily filled Bucky’s chest with warmth. When he noticed Bucky watching him there was a flicker of surprise, then a bright warm smile.

‘You’re here,’ he said.

‘Told you I would be,’ Bucky reminded him, but he didn’t blame Steve for being sceptical. Bucky’s been real shitty about keeping in touch with him, or even just plain being around. He wished he could take the time. He wished he could say “screw it” more often and spend a day or two with Steve. Of course his life didn’t work like that right now.

Steve’s smile widened a bit and he moved closer to pull Bucky in for a kiss. And oh, Bucky was ready to forget about the whole wide world when he had Steve’s lips on his like this. He used to be such a sweet-talker, he remembered that, but he didn’t have the words to tell Steve how much this actually meant to him. He just hoped that he was being obvious, that his every touch and every kiss spoke louder than any words. He hoped Steve understood.

They kissed for long moments, like they had nothing else to do. It was a lie, but it tasted sweet enough to make them believe it for a short while.

Of course they had to end their kiss eventually and reality was right where they left it, cold and merciless as always.

‘Did Loki show up?’ Steve asked after he flopped back down on his pillow.

‘No,’ Bucky shrugged. He was not surprised about it. He didn’t expect her back this soon, although now that he thought about it, he remembered why it was monumentally stupid of her to go alone.

‘You’re frowning again,’ Steve remarked as he reached out to touch him between his eyebrows, trying to smooth the skin out. ‘Are things really going that badly?’

‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘Not an option, Buck,’ Steve told him firmly. Bucky really didn’t know what to say to that.

‘We’re one step behind lately,’ he said after a second of silence. ‘It used to be the other way around, but we’re always behind now.’

‘How?’

‘We wasted way too much goddamn time on Amora,’ Bucky explained. ‘I don’t think she was that important.’

‘But it was personal,’ Steve said. ‘Loki would have gone after her no matter what.’

‘And they knew it,’ Bucky agreed. ‘Maybe Amora told them, maybe someone else, it doesn’t matter now.’

‘So what now? You can still catch up to them, right? Gor-Tok and Arcade, they’re the new targets.

Bucky frowned and thought about it. No, that was too obvious.

‘They’re not Darkholders either,’ he said. ‘Stopping them won’t matter that much.’

‘Darkholders?’ Steve asked.

‘Ah, dammit,’ Bucky sighed, rubbing his eyes. That’s what happened when he was too relaxed. ‘I forget being cautious around you.’

‘Good,’ Steve smiled. ‘So the Darkholders…’

‘Later,’ Bucky shook his head and sat up on the bed. ‘I need to talk to Natasha.’

‘Why?’ Steve asked, but he started getting up too.

‘Because it wasn’t just Loki’s big mouth that got me shot,’ Bucky told him. ‘Someone else was there… I got… distracted.’

‘Who?’ Steve asked, his voice getting worried now.

‘Natasha first,’ Bucky said, standing up. ‘She… she should hear this.’

Steve didn’t argue, but Bucky didn’t like seeing his smile disappear. He looked so good before, without that frown, without that squared jaw. Bucky knelt back on the bed and dragged Steve back down for another kiss, pushing him on his back and leaning over him. Steve reached up and buried his fingers in Bucky’s hair as he kissed back.

His smile was back when they parted, just as planned, and Bucky took a moment to admire it, engraving it in his memory. God, the things he would do for him...

‘You know what?’ Steve asked.

‘What?’

‘I think I like your hair,’ he said with a playful smirk. That was such an odd thing to say, but Bucky smiled back at him nonetheless.

Bucky was indifferent about it, never really thought about it either, just in terms of whether it was getting in the way or not. He knew he used to care a lot about what he looked like, but that wasn’t him anymore. Maybe he could learn again to be like that, but he wasn’t sure yet if he wanted to. Steve sure didn’t look like he expected it of him, which was reassuring. He said he didn’t want Bucky to pretend and he meant it, of course he meant it, his every word was proof of that.

* * *

Bucky didn’t like dealing with Natasha. She was too observant, too hard to get a read on, and well… everything else. She was Steve’s friend, Bucky knew that, but that didn’t make him any more willing to let his guard down around her. The change in his demeanour must’ve been obvious to Steve, because he was giving him that look again. The look that said that he understood what was going on, and he didn’t like it. But he was also not going to speak up about it… yet.

It was always a “yet” with Steve when it came to things like this. And Bucky wished he could do that, trust someone just because Steve trusted them, but he just wasn’t there yet, maybe he won’t ever be.

It seemed like Stark still insisted on the rule that Bucky was not to leave Steve’s floor. When they notified the AI that they needed to speak to Natasha they were told to wait for her. Unsurprising, but Bucky had absolutely no problem with staying in a familiar environment. It did wonders for his composure.

Natasha wore civilian clothes when she stepped out of the elevator, she looked almost casual. Of course she was armed, and even without a weapon she was not someone to mess with, but still, even the illusion of friendliness was a meaningful message. Or she just really wanted some new information and was willing to pay along to get it… yeah, probably both.

She looked at Steve, then at Bucky (in Steve’s clothes), and considered them both for a few seconds.

‘Fun night?’ she asked casually. Her tone didn’t give away what exactly she was referring to. Now Steve’s face on the other hand showed perfectly well where his mind went; right down the gutter. Bucky resisted the urge to snort.

Natasha lifted an eyebrow at Steve.

‘Good to know,’ she said after a moment of silence. She headed further into the room, but refrained from sitting down. That was fine with Bucky, because he did not plan to sit down either.

‘So, here I am,’ she said then. ‘What’s this about?’

How to even start? In his head it seemed simple, he just had to start talking. Reality proved to be very different of course. Now that he was standing in front of her, her watchful eyes completely focused on him, the words did not want to come easily.

‘So Bucky and Loki ran into some trouble last night,’ Steve started speaking after a few moments passed and Bucky was nowhere near closer to make his mouth work. ‘With Arcade and Gor-Tok, but something else happened too. Bucky said you needed to know about it.’

She probably assumed it was Steve that wanted her here, because there was a genuine flicker of surprise on her face, and she allowed them to see it.

‘And what is that?’ she asked conversationally.

‘It’s…’ sometimes it sucked to be human. ‘We’ve met before.’

‘Yes, you shot a bullet through me,’ Natasha said right away, understanding what he meant, and well… not understanding at all.

‘Before that,’ he said. She did not let her surprise show this time.

‘We haven’t,’ she said simply, to move the conversation along. Steve looked uneasy and he didn’t bother to hide it at all.

‘You wouldn’t remember,’ Bucky said.

‘Then we didn’t “meet”, you just saw me,’ she said.

‘No, you wouldn’t remember for the same reason I couldn’t remember anything about myself.’

That came out a bit harsher than Bucky intended, and he blamed his own discomfort for it. Natasha was unfazed of course, her expression unreadable, and her eyes sharp.

‘Why don’t you tell me then,’ Natasha said after a moment. ‘If you think there’s something wrong with my memory.’

‘28 юных балерин были в Большом театре,’ Buckysaid. ‘28 Черных Вдов были в Красной Комнате.’

Natasha stared at him, probably deciding on the best way to approach this. Her need for information won out.

‘How do you know about that?’ she asked.

‘It’s where I got this,’ Bucky explained, pointing at his left shoulder.

‘The arm?’ Steve asked with the frown.

‘No, the red star,’ Bucky said.

‘You were there… is that what you’re telling me?’ she asked. ‘That you were there when I…’ she composed herself in a blink and levelled Bucky with a hard look.

‘I’m sorry, Natalia,’ Bucky told her. He didn’t feel like speaking in Russian again, the words tasted wrong in his mouth. And even these words, regardless of the language, mattered very little. But it had to be said, no matter how pointless it was.

And it was not the words that threw her, but the meaning behind it, that Bucky had something to apologize for.

‘When and where?’ she demanded.

‘Moscow, and I don’t imagine there are a lot of people whose face you can’t remember,’ Bucky said.

Natasha didn’t visibly react, but Bucky had a feeling that she already suspected, so it was best to confirm it now.

‘Come on, you know, Natasha. I’m not a scientist…

‘So you’re a trainer,’ Natasha finished.

‘And I’m not Ivan Petrovitch,’ Bucky finished.

She had her gun in her hand and pointed at Bucky’s head in less than a second. Impressive, even if it meant that he was now staring down at a barrel.

‘Natasha!’ Steve called, moving closer. He barely stopped himself from reaching out to her.

‘If you had no reason to point a gun at me a few minutes ago, then you still have no reason,’ Bucky told her calmly.

‘I already had plenty of reasons,’ she answered.

‘Put the gun down, Natasha,’ Steve asked. ‘Whatever this is… this is not the way to…’

‘You have no idea, Steve. No idea!’ she said to him, her eyes not leaving Bucky’s face for a second.

‘Maybe not, but I know that no matter what Bucky did in the past, it was no his fault,’ Steve said in return, standing up for him without question.

‘The American,’ Natasha said. ‘That’s what they called him… and I remember you… I just…’

‘It’s unclear,’ Bucky said. ‘Faded… and you can’t remember a face.’

‘I never could,’ she said, still pointing the gun at Bucky’s head. ‘I should have remembered the voice... I once watched you beat Niko until he almost stopped breathing.’

She was not pulling her punches, but her words hurt Steve more than they hurt Bucky. He knew all this already. He’s been wrestling with these demons for some time now. He could still picture Niko Constantin’s face, beaten into a bloody mess, his chest heaving, every breath causing him agony because of his broken ribs...

‘I know,’ he said simply.

‘They made us watch,’ Natasha added. ‘I was young.’

‘You were,’ Bucky agreed. ‘The youngest of the 28.’

‘Natasha, put the gun down, please,’ Steve asked quietly, and she listened. There were a thousand things in her gaze, emotions Bucky felt like he had no right to witness.

‘Why did you tell me now?’ she asked. ‘Something happened last night, and it made you tell me this, so what was it?’

‘Yelena,’ Bucky told her. ‘Yelena was there.’

Natasha walked out of the room without another word.

* * *

Bucky was almost impressed by how long Steve managed to stay silent. He expected him to start asking questions immediately. And even his first question was a surprise. Bucky thought he would ask about Natasha, about their shared past, and everything that happened... but he didn’t.

‘So who is Yelena?’ he asked. He obviously wanted to know more about him and Natasha too, but he focused on the present.

‘She’s a Black Widow, just like Natasha,’ Bucky told him. ‘They were trained around the same time... Yelena is older. She was already in her late teens by the time I got there.’

Steve frowned. Bucky knew what the question on the tip of his tongue was ( _“Then how young was Natasha?”_ ), but once again he asked something different.

‘What is her connection to the Darkholders?’

That was not something easily explained and Bucky did not know everything. He still gave it a try.

‘Black Widow agents have been around for a very long time. They changed to course of important events over and over again, but when the Soviet Union crumbled they became a dirty secret, a stain on a new democratic nation’s reputation, evidence of past sins... Department X, the ones who created the Red Room and Black Widows in the first place, wanted them gone. Guess whom they called to get the job done...’

‘I thought you were Hydra all along, so why were you involved with the Russians?’ Steve asked.

‘I don’t know the specifics, but Hydra was involved on both sides of the Cold War. Don’t ask me why I was on the Russian side for that long, cause I have no answer for that.’

Steve looked at him for a long moment and asked his next question very carefully.

‘So they wanted all Black Widows gone, so they sent you to...’

‘Kill them all,’ Bucky finished his sentence plainly, because there was no sugar-coating this one. ‘And I did. I killed one after another... except for two.’

‘Natasha and Yelena,’ Steve concluded.

Bucky nodded. ‘Natasha was picked up by SHIELD, so obviously Hydra had no reason to dispose of her.’

‘And Yelena?’

‘She vanished,’ Bucky told him. ‘It’s always been one of her strengths.’

‘So you have no idea what she’s been doing all this time?’ Steve asked.

‘Freelancing, probably,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘I’d rather not jump into conclusions.’

‘But now she’s with the Darkholders,’ Steve said.

‘I don’t know,’ Bucky told him honestly. ‘She was there, but I barely caught a glimpse of her. I have no idea how she’s involved. I didn’t even know she was alive until last night.’

‘She’s someone from your past,’ Steve said absently. ‘Like Amora was from Loki’s...’

Not a bad theory, but it was fundamentally flawed.

‘It’s different,’ Bucky shook his head. ‘We had good reasons to go after Amora... I have no reason to hurt Yelena.’

Bucky huffed and looked out of the window, because he couldn’t stand looking at Steve any more. Not now, not with his past looming so darkly over him. It just reminded him why he did not deserve Steve’s loyalty, trust... or kindness.

‘But Yelena has plenty of reasons for wanting to kill me.’

‘It wasn’t your fault!’ Steve insisted with absolute conviction. On most days Bucky would’ve believed him, but this was not one of those days.

‘I know you mean that,’ Bucky told him. ‘But things are not that black and white… especially when people see my face in their nightmares.’

‘So you think she’s only with them to take you down?’ Steve asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Bucky repeated. ‘It’s a possibility. I mean, people like her… like Natasha, they don’t easily believe. I just can’t picture her actually being a Darkholder, buying the crap they’re selling.’

‘So being with the Darkholders is like being with Hydra?’ Steve asked. ‘There’s a whole…’ he gestured vaguely with his hand. ‘Belief-system involved?’

‘It’s a cult,’ Bucky said. ‘A secret society, a fucked-up little club with fucked-up members.’

‘Like Van Ripper?’ Steve guessed.

‘Exactly, being a Darkholder just gave her powers, but she was one sick bitch even before that.’

‘So who’s actually a Darkholder from the list?’ Steve asked. ‘They’re the ones we should be focusing on.’

‘Easier said than done,’ Bucky sighed. ‘The Darkholders don’t do frontlines; they have ways to hide, even from Loki. Instead we have to deal with the likes of Amora, Arcade, and Gor-Tok.’

‘And what about the rest?’ Steve asked with a frown. ‘There are still a lot of names left.’

Bucky tried to think of all the reasons why he should shut up and not tell Steve anything else, but in the end it mattered less and less how much Steve knew. Loki was going to be so pissed at him though.

‘Belasco, Kierrok, and the Whisperer are demons,’ he said in the end. ‘Not like the N’Garai, lot smarter, older, and human-like. Kierrok we don’t have to worry about, he’s the master of the N’Garai, but he won’t show up himself, it’s impossible. He’s just lending out his pets.’

‘And the other two?’

‘Hopefully Strange will take care of them,’ Bucky shrugged. ‘He has a history with them, with Curwen too, so they might already be out of the picture. I don’t know.’

The Whisperer stole Casey Kinmont’s soul. He put that poor girl through so much suffering. Both Bucky and Loki were pretty damn sure that Strange was not going to rest until he tracked that demon down and made him pay for what he did. He probably wanted to free Casey’s soul as well, but it was hard to tell how much hope there was left for that.

Belasco could be a problem, but Bucky doubted he would do anything drastic. Loki agreed on most days. He wanted power, especially power over others, so he was either going to wait for his moment to strike, or slither away like a snake if things didn’t look that good for his side.

And Curwen… they didn’t even know whether he worked with or against the Darkholders, he just knew too much, was too involved, and got in the way more than once. He also had no problem with spilling blood, innocent or guilty, so he was important to keep an eye on.

‘And the rest are all Darkholders,’ Steve concluded, and Bucky nodded. DeGuzman, Hubris, and Grahl, they were the three fucking bastards pulling the strings on the Earth-side of things. They hired Arcade, they woke Gor-Tok from his long sleep, they definitely made a deal with Amora, and now they got Yelena involved somehow. Bucky wished they had a way to track them down, just like they tracked Clarisse Van Ripper down. Blowing their heads off would be so damn satisfying.

‘You have your scary face on,’ Steve commented. Yeah, thinking about violent murder kind of showed on his face, so he tried to calm his anger. He didn’t want to be like that around Steve. He already showed more than enough from how screwed up he actually was nowadays.

‘Hey,’ Steve said after a moment, stepping closer to touch his right arm. ‘It’s okay to be angry at them. Hell, I’m angry too.’

‘Yeah well, my anger’s kind of a whole different animal now, Steve,’ Bucky told him.

‘I know,’ Steve said, squeezing his arm. ‘It’s still not gonna make me run.’

‘You were always too stupid to run,’ Bucky said with a wry smile, but Steve answered with a real smile.

‘Do you think Natasha will come back?’ Steve asked then. Bucky shook his head.

‘She has a lot to think about, and probably a lot of information to dig up. But I’m sure she’ll have plenty of questions for me once she’s done with her own investigation.’

‘It’s good that you told her,’ Steve said. ‘I mean, since she knows Yelena.’

‘I told her, because if Yelena is with the Darkholders I might have to kill her.’ The words did not shock Steve that much, but his eyes went a little tense in reaction.

‘So now that she knows, she can plan,’ Bucky continued. ‘She can either turn her back on this, or she can try to stop me. I just gave her extra time to make this decision.’

She deserved that much, not to be caught off guard about this in a middle of a fight.

‘And what are you going to do… if she tries to stop you?’ Steve asked, his fingers now too tight on Bucky’s arm.

Bucky sighed and looked back at Steve. He wanted him to see the sincerity in his eyes.

‘I don’t know,’ he told him, because that was the truth. He had absolutely no idea.

* * *

Bucky liked being around Steve, he didn’t mind his questions, especially since Steve seemed to sense it well enough when he was asking about things Bucky was not yet ready to talk about. He very pointedly didn’t ask about Loki... or Leah. Not that Steve knew anything about Leah besides heresy. As far as Bucky was concerned that was for the best. He did not look forward to the day Leah no longer remained in the shadows.

He didn’t expect Loki back right away, so he was not worried as the day dragged on. He showered, then Steve even made them food and they ate together. After that they both sat around in the kitchen almost all day. And a few hours after Natasha left Bucky was able to relax again too. And it was nice, peaceful.

He could reach out and touch Steve, his hand, his shoulder, his arm, whenever he wanted to. Steve always welcomed his closeness. He could capture Steve’s lips, leave soft kissed on his face, and get smiles in return. And whenever he stood too close, Steve would reach out and put an arm around him. He always gave Bucky a fond look while doing it, because he knew that Bucky invaded his personal space for this reason in the first place.

But then the hours just kept ticking and by the time the sun was going down even Steve realized that Bucky was getting tense and edgy again. He also guessed the reason.

‘So... Loki was supposed to be back by now?’ he asked, being careful.

‘Something’s wrong,’ Bucky told him.

‘It’s been less than a day,’ Steve pointed it out. ‘Plus it’s Loki.’

Bucky gave him a look. ‘You already forgot what happened the first time we ran into Skurge?’ he asked.

‘No, but that’s what I mean,’ Steve said. ‘If Loki can just... come back, then...’

‘Yeah, I’m sure the body would be perfectly safe with the Darkholders... or with demons.’

‘I still don’t know how it’s possible... what’s going on with Loki...’

‘Not my story to tell,’ Bucky told him simply.

Steve sighed and it was both unhappy and frustrated.

‘Yeah, the deals are off limits, both Loki’s and yours.’

‘I can’t tell you,’ Bucky said.

‘Can’t or won’t?’ Steve asked in return.

‘Can’t,’ Bucky stressed. ‘I told you way more than I should have already.’ He’s given up a lot of information without much coaxing, and yet Steve was still asking for more. Bucky shouldn’t be surprised. Steve never did things halfway.

‘You’re feeding me scraps and you know it,’ Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘Yeah, I know about the Darkholders and Yelena now, but I still don’t know what the point of all this is. What are the Darkholders trying to do? What are you and Loki trying to do while we’re at it?’

Bucky shook his head and looked away, out of the window.

‘You have no idea what I’m risking even by telling you this much. You have no idea how much danger I’m putting you in.’

‘I don’t care about the danger!’

‘Well, I do! Especially when it comes to you… if you get hurt and it’s my fault, how do you think I’m gonna feel then?

Some of the fight went out of Steve, but he still looked stubborn.

‘And if you get hurt, because I’m not there, or because I have no idea what’s going on, how do you think _I’m_ going to feel? Losing you once was bad enough, Buck.’

Bucky had to pull him close for a kiss, smother his own anger with everything else he felt. Steve gripped him and held him so tightly that Bucky could almost feel his bones creak, but he didn’t mind at all. Their worries and his frustrations were all poured into the kiss, so their lips mashed together harder than usual. But it was good, it still felt so good. The rest of the world just faded to nothing when Steve was this close to him.

‘I’m not going to stop asking,’ Steve told him when they parted.

‘And I’m not going to stop trying to keep you safe, at least a little.’

‘Buck--’

‘The one I made my deal with,’ Bucky said quietly, as if the volume of this voice mattered. ‘They want the Darkholders stopped, that’s it. That’s all I need to do, there’s nothing more to it. Stop them by any means necessary… that enough?’

He didn’t know whether Steve believed him, but he still gave Bucky a nod and pressed his forehead to his.

That’s when they got interrupted by a large crash coming from the living room. They both tensed right away and were immediately ready for danger, a fight, anything.

Bucky didn’t have any of his weapons on him, since he was still wearing Steve’s clothes and he left most of his stuff in the bedroom, but he did grab a knife on his way out of the kitchen. Steve followed him closely, only just a step behind.

The sun was going down, but it was still bright enough to see. And really, Bucky only had to take a few steps into the room to spot the cause of the racket. Loki… of course.

‘I goddamn fucking told you,’ Bucky said angrily, dropping the knife, because of course Loki came back bloody and unable to stand on her own damn feet. That’s why he told her not to go alone.

‘Miss me?’ Loki said, head tipped back to rest on the wall, lying half on top of the coffee table she broke, probably by falling on it.

‘Lights, HELEN,’ Steve instructed as Bucky walked across the room to get down next to Loki. There was a metal rod sticking out from her stomach with a ring and a chain attached to it. The chain was broken, and it was probably Loki herself that snapped it from the looks of it. Bucky reached out to pull her a little further away from the wall, to look at her back. And sure enough the tip of the rod was sticking out on the other side. It looked like a damn barbed harpoon, wide and covered in blood.

‘Break the end off. I can’t reach it,’ Loki said, which explained why she still had the thing stabbing through her. They could either push it through, if they broke off the ring and the remains of the chain, or they could break off the tip and pull it back out. Either way, there was going to be a lot of blood.

Steve was kneeling next to him a moment later.

‘What they hell did they shoot that with?’ he asked.

‘Crossbow,’ Loki informed them. Bolt, not a harpoon then… not that there was much of a difference in this case.

‘Gor-Tok,’ Bucky guessed, because that was the most obvious answer. Loki nodded. That prick shot Bucky too, just the night before, right in the arm. Although, that was a much smaller bolt than the one in Loki.

‘Just Gor-Tok?’ Bucky asked as he tried to get into a better position to grab the bolt with his metal hand.

‘Belasco,’ Loki said, sounding a little breathless.

‘You’re lucky you got out of there,’ Bucky told her very pointedly. Loki chuckled, which was not actually a good sign.

‘Not everyone was so lucky,’ she grinned with bloody teeth.

‘Who?’ Bucky asked.

‘Belasco,’ she said, still smiling. It was a very disturbing smile.

‘Where is he?’ Bucky asked. A demon, no matter how injured, could be a huge pain in the ass once it was pissed off.

Loki laughed again, it was a little wet-sounding form the blood in her throat, and it was too sharp and too cruel to sound pleasant.

‘Which part?’ she asked, laughter still in her voice and that…

‘One less thing to worry about,’ was all Bucky said. Then he gripped the thick metal bolt tightly, forcing it to bend. Loki tensed, her hand moving to grab onto something, but there was nothing to grab, so she just curled her fingers into a fist. It must’ve hurt, but she only made a small grunt.

The damn thing bent all right, but it would not break. Bucky tried again, putting as much force behind it as he could, but it was no use.

‘I can’t break it,’ he said, letting go of it.

‘Break it,’ Loki insisted, hissing the words out angrily.

‘I can’t, we need someone stronger,’ Bucky told her. ‘Thor should do.’

‘No!’ Loki protested immediately, as expected.

‘That thing’s gotta come out and I can’t do it, so Thor… and suck it up.’

Loki made an angry sound, weirdly close to a growl. There was again that wet sound form the blood in her mouth and throat, but Bucky worried about the wild furious look in her eyes more. She’s been cornered no doubt, fighting off both Gor-Tok and Belasco, and now she was still riding the high of the battle that apparently ended with her ripping or cutting some demon apart. Bucky suddenly really wished Leah was around.

‘Thor’s not back yet, relax,’ Steve interrupted them, drawing Loki’s attention on him. ‘Vision can phase it out. HELEN, call Vision, it’s an emergency.’

‘ _He’s on his way_ ,’ the AI told them a second later.

Loki kept staring at Steve, but she said nothing to him, so Bucky said nothing either.

‘Any other injuries?’ he asked instead, but Loki just made an annoyed sound. He was going to take that as a “nothing noteworthy”.

It took less than a minute for the android to fly through the floor, phasing in without disturbing any of the furniture. He landed right in front of them.

‘I admit this was not the sort of Loki-related emergency I expected,’ he said as he walked closer and lowered himself to one knee next to Steve.

‘Can you get this out?’ Bucky asked him, gesturing at the big bolt still in Loki’s gut.

Vision eyed the piece of metal for a moment. ‘Certainly, but this might not be the best location. Once the metal is removed the wound will bleed profusely.’

‘Just get it out,’ Loki grunted, she tried to sit up into a more vertical position, but in the end she had to use Bucky’s shoulder as leverage.

Vision did not look convinced.

‘I know you have a much superior healing factor than...’

‘Just get it out!’ Loki yelled, green flames flaring up on her skin, even her eyes glowed.

‘Do it,’ Bucky agreed, looking at the android. Vision still looked over too Steve and waited for him to nod before reaching out. The exchange made Loki bare her teeth in anger, and Bucky really started to hate this whole damn situation.

Vision grabbed the bolt and after a moment of pause he started pulling it out. It sank through Loki’s flesh without problem, but she started bleeding just as heavily as the android said she would. Loki pressed her hand to the wound on her stomach, a green glow of magic seeping into her body. It was a quick fix, like a stitch, or a bandage, it won’t heal her, just keep her from getting worse.

Vision held the bloody bolt in his hand for a moment longer, observing it. Only Loki’s laboured breathing disturbed the silence.

‘It was so goddamn stupid to go alone,’ Bucky breathed out after a few moments of listening to that. And really, he wasn’t even that surprised when Loki launched at him in anger, grabbing him by the throat before he could react.

‘You keep forgetting who I am... and how disposable _you are_ ,’ she hissed.

Steve and Vision both moved to intervene, but Bucky was quicker and hit Loki in the stomach, right where the wound was, with his left. It probably didn’t hurt that badly, but it was enough to get her to loosen her fingers, enough for Bucky to back off.

Loki put one hand back on the wound, while she kept the other on the floor, resting her weight on it. He hair hid her face from the rest of them, which made it pretty hard to guess what she was thinking.

‘You done?’ Bucky asked, his muscles tense still. He resisted the urge to rub the skin on his throat. It would bruise, but it would heal quickly. Steve’s angry face was a lot bigger issue, so Bucky really needed to keep this whole thing under control.

‘I’m done,’ Loki said, sounding a lot less disarranged now.

‘Don’t go losing your shit on me,’ Bucky told her. ‘I ain’t good at being the sane one.’

‘Oh, my sanity has long slipped from my fingers... ‘ she said in return, sounding distant. ‘With the ashes of the past I’ve burnt to nothing.’

There was really not much Bucky could say to that, but he kinda wished again that Leah was around. Somehow she always knew what to say, especially to Loki... which meant that they needed to get back, as soon as Loki was up to it.

He only just glanced up at Steve, but the other immediately knew, he was just too damn good at reading Bucky.

‘And now you’re just gonna take off, huh?’ he asked, still looking angry.

‘What do you want me to say? Apologize?’ Bucky asked quietly in return. Steve looked thoughtful, then...

‘I want you to say yes,’ he said, looking determined. Bucky has a bad feeling about his tone.

‘Say yes to what?’ he asked with a frown.

‘I’m coming with you,’ Steve said, his voice hard, unwavering, and utterly stubborn.

‘Steve...’

‘Things changed, you know it, I know it, I bet even Loki does. The Darkholders are sure as hell done playing around. They’re going after you now.’

‘You told him,’ Loki glared.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Bucky said in return, sounding just a bit too defensive to his own ears. But Loki was the one who gave Steve the list in the first place, so she could just shut the hell up.

‘Don’t blame me if you live to regret it,’ she said, sitting up to lean her back to the wall.

‘You two had to drag your bloody asses back here two nights in a row,’ Steve continued. ‘So yes, I’m coming with you.’

‘Oh, what do I care,’ Loki said with a tired shrug. Bucky did not just hear that.

‘No, you are supposed to say no!’ Bucky protested. ‘Steve, no.’

Steve just raised his eyebrows, giving him his “We’ll see about that look”, and headed towards his room.

Vision hurried after him, probably not agreeing with Steve’s plan any more than Bucky.

‘We can’t take him with us,’ Bucky turned to Loki.

‘Are you regretting being so chatty now?’ Loki asked.

And goddamn it, she was right. He should’ve known that Steve would not stay put, not after hearing about Yelena, not after knowing about the Darkholders. Bucky should’ve kept his damn mouth shut, he never should have let Steve’s worried face and hurt eyes loosen his tongue.

When Steve marched back into the room less than a minute later, he had a sports bag in one hand and his shield in the other. He was already prepared... maybe he packed while Bucky was in the shower, dammit.

‘Steve, I really don’t think this is a wise idea,’ Vision was saying as they came closer.

‘Wise or not, I’m doing it,’ Steve said. ‘If we get in a real sticky situation, I will call in.’

‘But if you are in a place we cannot reach, you either won’t be able to call, or we won’t be able to come to you.’

‘Vision,’ Steve stopped and turned to the android. ‘I know what I’m doing, trust me.’

‘The others will not like this either,’ Vision said.

‘Yeah, I know,’ Steve sighed, but it was not the sort of sigh that meant that he changed his mind. Steve never changed his mind.

Loki wasn’t protesting, and Bucky was never able to talk Steve out of anything stupid. He wanted to. He wanted to say or do something that would make Steve turn around and walk back out of the room, but his mouth remained firmly shut. He couldn’t do it. No matter how good his reasons, he couldn’t bring himself to try and push Steve away, not again.

So when Steve looked back at him, face still hard and jaw still squared stubbornly, Bucky knew that he lost this fight. Hell, he lost this fight a long time ago.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian translation
> 
> 28 юных балерин были в Большом театре - 28 young ballerinas with the Bolshoi theatre  
> 28 Черных Вдов были в Красной Комнате - 28 Black Widows with the Red Room
> 
> Huge thanks again to [Alvaid](http://alvaid.tumblr.com/) for all her Russian translations. Such a big help!


	32. Chapter 32

Silence made thoughts scream louder, so Loki came to despise silence. She despised being left alone with her thoughts. And yet here she was… surrounded by silence, slave to the ideas swirling around in her head. It was always the same, questions, memories, doubts, and anger turning and shifting in vicious circles. It only took a couple of hours for anger to turn into a constant shimmering force beneath her skin.

She spent almost all day lying on the sofa in the darkest corner of her quarters. It was not the dim light that made her like this spot, but how defendable it was. Walls stood behind her back, a pillar hid her from the doorway, and she had an almost perfect view of the rest of the room. Her wound still ached, albeit it was mostly healed, so she was not very keen on moving around.

James was of course down in his own sparse room, now with his dear Captain to give him company. He was no doubt pleased about it, despite his loud complains. Love was most foolish and inconsistent like that. Loki did not envy this weakness from him, it was a chain as much as the source of strength.

She could claim it was a moment of madness that made her agree, but in truth they were no longer in a position where it was worth turning down someone like the Captain. It should have made Loki sneer and spit in anger, but she was remarkably tranquil about it. That was something still quite new. Something she was not very used to.

Something shifted within her when her body reshaped into a new form. It didn’t feel like that much of a difference at first, but soon it became obvious. Her anger was both colder and more vicious than before, but also a lot harder to ignite. Trivial things no longer mattered, she could easily not care about them. It was a power that did not come from muscles or magic. It was a strength of character not familiar to Loki. She kept thinking of her mother, how she smiled even in the face of pain and anger. How difficult it was to get a true rise out of her – very unlike Odin – but once she was angry, oh... the Realm Eternal knew to cover from their Queen.

The “Son of Odin”... a name surrounded with bitter fury, crushed hopes, jealousy, pain and a thousand other things too complicated to sort out. The “Daughter of Frigga”... now that brought great reservoirs of grief, but also something warm and unquestionable. Frigga never gave up, never turned away...

Loki really shouldn’t be thinking about this.

‘We have a guest I see,’ Leah called and Loki wanted to curse herself for not noticing the flicker of magic that signalled her arrival.

‘He was insistent,’ Loki said.

‘I’m sure he was,’ Leah smiled as she walked closer.

‘You’re late,’ Loki told her. She was not actually late, as they did not specify a time for her return, but she was still away longer than expected.

‘I remained in Asgard for as long as Thor, it was for the best.’

Leah held out a scrolled-up piece of paper towards her, but Loki just eyed it dubiously.

‘What is that?’

‘A letter from Balder,’ she answered, wiggling the scroll in front of Loki’s face, like it was a shiny toy Loki would pounce on with the right stimulation. It should have angered her, but the twinkle in Leah’s eyes was simply amusing.

‘Fine, I’ll read it to you then,’ she declared as she sat down on the sofa by Loki’s feet. She tucked her legs underneath her skirt and got comfortable. It was still such an odd sight. Nobody’s really been comfortable or relaxed around Loki in a long time. Even before it was mostly just Thor and Frigga. Odin... he always acted like he knew not how to talk to Loki, which was probably true, in retrospect.

‘ _Loki, greetings to you from the fair and golden Asgard. I trust your battles on Midgard have been grand and victorious..._ so formal, isn’t he?’

‘That’s his way of being polite,’ Loki remarked.

‘ _I heard the news from your dear friend that I appear to have a sister now. Truly, the surprises never cease with you._ ’

Balder grabbed hold of the title of being Loki’s brother with both hands and refused to let go of it, like a pup stubbornly sinking its teeth into a favoured toy. Loki did not pretend to understand, but also did not fight it. It would’ve been a waste of time.

‘ _Maybe, if you have the time, you should pay a visit to Lady Sigyn in Skornheim. I believe she would be rather fond of your new shape._ ’

‘Best idea I’ve heard in a long time,’ Loki huffed.

Loki was a young lad when he first visited Skornheim and his childish infatuation with Lady Sigyn at the time was well known to everyone, unfortunately. Sigyn herself liked Loki well enough, but her preferences leaned more towards women. Loki did not quite understand back then what it meant to have such a strict preference, as most in Asgard cared not for such things. Indeed even Loki’s preferences could be described easily as everyone was either “attractive” or “non-attractive”. Loki as an adolescence thought Sigyn’s claims of a “preference” to be mere rejection. Sigyn forgave the ignorance, as she was not one for grudges. It was one of the reasons why she made such a good matriarch for the Warriors of Skornheim.

Loki learnt and Sigyn never brought up the youthful insults and mistakes. Others were not that willing to let Loki forget about the whole ordeal. Thor and his friends were particularly fond of “teasing”, reminding Loki of the lady who was so swift with her rejection. Despite the unpleasantness of it all, Loki still thought of Sigyn fondly. It couldn’t be helped.

‘ _Now as for the things you are no doubt more interested in_ ,’ Leah continued Balder’s letter. ‘ _Thor’s visit went rather smoothly, as Leah will inform you. He was quite willing to believe the truth, after Eir’s reassurances of course. Truly, he is not as hot-headed as you made me believe. But perhaps it is merely just that the two of you have not been close in quite some time. Everyone changes, after all._ ’

Loki did not comment on that, but noted the way Leah glanced in her way.

‘ _You might not be pleased to hear, but despite your advice, I have told Thor the truth about Odin_.’

‘He did what?’ Loki asked.

‘I’m getting there, patience,’ Leah chided. ‘ _...not the entire truth of course. But I believed that if Thor saw that the Allfather was peacefully asleep, well-guarded and safe in the palace, it would placate him more than the unknown. If he thought Odin was away for a journey, he would have just demanded to know more, or even would have set out to go after him..._ he’s a clever one, Loki. Maybe you should’ve put someone dumber on the throne.’

‘I have neither time nor patience for puppet kings,’ Loki said simply.

‘You’re probably right,’ Leah agreed. ‘ _I believe that being in the company of my friends and I also helped things along. He’s a warrior at heart, the sight of camaraderie between soldiers, a fine meal and some great mead, put him at ease and made him more willing to listen._ ’

Loki was never going to understand this sort of brother-, and sisterhood. Loki always had one brother and that was Thor, which made it hard to swallow all the brothers-in-arms Thor claimed over the years. Loki became just one of many, while Thor was the only one in return. Balder grew up in Skornheim, where the warriors were brothers and sisters in ways not even the warriors of Asgard were. He already understood this part of Thor more than Loki was ever going to.

She firmly pushed down on the surge of bitter jealousy in her throat. Balder was merely doing what she asked of him. He deserved more than anger and spite as his due.

‘ _Thor seemed at peace with leaving the throne to me_ ,’ Leah continued to read. ‘ _But of course he just left to speak with Heimdall, Sif and the Warriors Three. I have no way of knowing what they will say to him, but so far he has not marched back into the palace demanding my head. I’d say that’s a good sign._ ’

‘They will put doubts in his head,’ Loki said.

‘I’m sure Thor had plenty of doubts even before,’ Leah said. ‘He’s very good at keeping up a cheerful thoughtless façade.’

‘Playing dumb,’ Loki said. It was something she only realized recently. Thor always bragged about his strength and prowess in battle, but he seemed quite witless otherwise. Even Loki believed sometimes that Thor was as big an oaf as he looked like, only to be surprised by how much the Thunderer truly noticed and observed.

It was something Barton said during the invasion of Midgard. “If people think you’re just muscle, they’re not gonna expect complicated plans from you. It makes them careless.” The moment of clarity about Thor regarding this came much later, in Asgard’s dungeon. Loki had time to reflect about a lot of things during that long year of isolation.

Leah continued reading then. ‘ _Asgard is at peace, the people seem to have accepted my presence, and my warriors and I are ready for any danger that might appear. I wish you told me more about the threat lurking on Midgard, as I would be quite willing to grab my sword, or my spear, and aid you in battle. Something that threatens one realm can easily become a danger to all realms. I could easily justify my intervention..._ he’s eager.’

‘Yes, to prove himself, to me, to Asgard, even to Thor,’ Loki said, again thinking of the pup sinking its teeth into something precious. Balder never had a family, just the warriors of Skornheim, so he was eager to prove that he deserved a place in one. He was young, clever yes, but still a little foolish in such matters. Although Loki had to admit there was something charming about him being so insistent on proving he was deserving of being Loki’s brother.

‘ _Still, I know that not every battle can be won with swords and blood, so I will trust that you know what is best for the Nine Realms_.’

‘Stupid boy,’ Loki mumbled.

‘Isn’t it nice though... to have someone believe?’ Leah asked.

‘He doesn’t know any better,’ Loki said.

‘Maybe... still, it’s nice.’

Loki had nothing to say to that.

‘ _I know your strength, your power, your magic, but still there is always a greater foe, it’s simply the nature of things. And one’s back is vulnerable, unless one has a brother or sister, so the one thing I ask of you is to not march into battle alone. I look forward to the day we can meet again. Balder._ ’

‘Sentimental too,’ Loki remarked.

‘He has a big heart,’ Leah shrugged. ‘And he’s brave enough to give you a place in it, despite everything he knows about you.’

‘Brave or idiotic.’

‘A true Odinson indeed,’ Leah laughed. Loki did not find it that amusing, but some similarities were undeniable.

‘So with that business dealt with, maybe I should say hello,’ Leah said. ‘The Captain and I have not been properly introduced after all.’

‘You might want to leave that for a later time,’ Loki commented drily. Leah looked at her for a moment, and then she understood.

‘Ah, young love… no matter, we have other things to take care of.’

‘Such as?’

‘Patience, Loki, I’m getting there… first, you must tell me how that big hole in your stomach came to be.’

Loki sighed, of course Leah would notice.

* * *

Leah carefully listened to Loki’s summary of events that lead to her injury. She sat quietly by Loki’s feet, relaxed and thoughtful, didn’t offer any comments up until Loki was done.

‘This woman… have you seen her as well?’ she asked then.

‘The other Widow? No,’ Loki shook her head. ‘I was a little busy at the time.’

‘And she had not shown up when you fought Gor-Tok and Belasco?’

‘No,’ Loki repeated. She would’ve mentioned it already if that had been the case.

‘It is most strange, don’t you think?’ Leah asked.

‘Why would it be? They simply found another weakness to exploit.’

‘That may be so, but she is still an unexpected addition.’

‘She’s a mortal, no matter how formidable,’ Loki said. ‘She will hardly cause problems.’

‘And what did I tell you about dismissing mortals?’ Leah asked in return.

‘James will deal with her. I should focus my attention on bigger things.’

‘The bigger thing would be to put an end to this once and for all, but we are no closer to achieving that, are we?’

Her tone was almost mocking, so it sent a spark of irritation through Loki.

‘We have done plenty already,’ she insisted.

‘It’s not enough.’

‘Maybe we could do more if you bothered to share everything you know,’ Loki snapped, glaring at her.

Leah just smiled as she stood up.

‘Knowledge is a dangerous thing… especially when it comes to you.’

Loki stared at her evenly, trying to read her face, but she was no easier to decipher than a marble statue.

‘You still don’t believe that I am no longer on my old path,’ Loki accused. ‘After everything I’ve done, everything I’ve sacrificed, you still think it changed nothing.’

‘Loki, it is not about what I believe… your fate is not so simple to escape.’

‘Still?’

‘There’s no law, no rules set in stone. You know that.’

Loki scoffed and looked away from her.

‘I know that everything I’ve done appears to have been for naught.’

This was how fate laughed at Loki. This was how fate spat in her face, told her that she was still bound by chains.

‘You have done much, do not doubt that, but it is one thing to prevent events that appeared very likely to happen, and a different matter to defy fate and go against your nature.’

‘My nature,’ Loki sneered. ‘So we are back treating me like some base creature.’

‘You are twisting my words and I will have none of that,’ Leah told her firmly.

‘Tell me then… oh wise one, you who know past, future, and worlds beyond my reach. What else could I possibly do to escape these shackles?’

‘You have to finish this,’ Leah said. ‘And when the moment comes, you will have to decide…’

‘Decide?! Decide what? I could strangle you when you speak in riddles.’

Leah was unfazed by her threat, like always. And Loki made no move to stand up from the sofa anyway, so both of them knew she was just hissing empty words.

‘If I told you, it wouldn’t be much of a decision, now would it?’ Leah asked.

Loki silently fumed for long moments, while Leah just looked at her, patient enough to wait. She didn’t have to wait long as Loki still had too many questions.

‘I abandoned a path, because you showed me a future I do not want to come to pass… but I cannot see the path I walk now. I know not where it leads, I know nothing. How am I to keep walking?’

Leah sat down again.

‘That might just be the greatest challenge in all of this. I never thought that it would be pain and blood to discourage you. Uncertainty has always been a bigger enemy of yours.’

‘What if this new path leads to something even worse… makes me something even worse?’

‘You must believe that I won’t lead you astray,’ Leah said. Loki huffed out a faint laugh.

‘You always ask for too much.’

‘But I give much in return.’

‘You won’t even tell me who you really are to me.’

Leah stayed silent for a heartbeat, then smiled.

‘I am your friend, Loki, first and foremost.’

Loki did not know whether she believed that wholly, or at all, it always depended on the day. Today she was inclined to believe it, but she was still convinced that it was not the complete truth. But Leah was not going to tell her more.

‘Tell me then, what is our next most urgent task?’ Loki asked.

‘I think it’s time Curwen and the Whisperer stopped getting in our way,’ Leah said.

‘I thought we will leave them to Strange,’ Loki frowned.

‘Yes, but apparently he needs a nudge in the right direction… or we need to make it easier for him.’

‘But what of Gor-Tok?’ Loki asked. ‘What of Arcade and the second Widow? They are hunting us already. It would be easier to strike them down.’

‘No,’ Leah shook her head. ‘They’re throwing them at us, so they want us occupied, chasing the dogs instead of their masters… so no, we’re not going to waste our time on them.’

‘The Whisperer is hardly as great a threat as Gor-Tok,’ Loki argued.

‘I did not stop you when it came to Amora, because I understood… but this time we will not be distracted by petty personal grudges. Gor-Tok defeated you, that’s why you want to take revenge on him first.’

Loki wanted to deny it, but there was no point lying to Leah. Loki took things personally, it couldn’t be helped.

‘Curwen and the Whisperer,’ Leah repeated. ‘They might even lead us to the Darkholders.’

‘And how exactly are we going to hunt down such an elusive demon? How are we to face Curwen, when that wretched mortal is more slippery than an eel?’

‘Let me worry about finding them,’ Leah said. ‘You just need to figure out the best plan of attack.’

Loki sighed, prepare for the unpredictable, of course, easily done. Leah really did have a great tendency to ask for the whole sky and all the stars from Loki, and then act like it was the simplest of requests.

‘Fortunately, we seem to have gotten ourselves a great strategist to aid you,’ Leah added with a meaningful eyebrow lift.

Of course she still wanted to meet Rogers too.

‘He’s not bound by any vow, or any magic,’ Loki reminded her. ‘That could cause trouble.’

Leah looked aside as she thought about it, but she seemed to come to a decision almost right away.

‘We’re running out of time, so that’s a risk we’re just going to have to take.’

‘James won’t like it,’ Loki remarked.

‘The Captain will have to decide for himself,’ Leah said, which was certainly true.

‘Very well,’ Loki agreed.

* * *

Loki was not yet healed, and she was in no mood to deal with James’ annoyance at being interrupted, so she left the two soldiers alone for almost a day. Leah needed to get things started as well after all. Finding either Isaiah Curwen or the Whisperer was not a simple task.

Hopefully they would be able to just meddle a little, either chase them in Strange’s direction, or weaken them enough to render them unimportant. The best would be if they could simply kill them, but Loki had an inkling that they won’t have much luck with such a straightforward solution.

She banged loudly on James’ door, while Leah shook her head at her. She looked amused though. It had the desired effect as James practically tore the door off its hinges when he opened it.

‘Oh good, you’re dressed,’ Loki said in lieu of a greeting.

‘What?’ James barked in annoyance.

‘We have things to discuss,’ Loki said simply. James glanced behind her and noticed Leah standing on the stairs. He frowned and his face grew serious right away. He also stepped out of the way to let the two of them inside.

‘Steve,’ he called.

‘Almost done,’ the Captain called form the bath as James shut the door.

‘I will never understand your decision to have this space be so small,’ Leah remarked.

‘It’s a hideout, I need it for sleep, that’s it,’ James answered.

‘Still, you should treat yourself sometimes,’ Leah said.

‘Moving on,’ James said pointedly, which made Leah smile.

Rogers walked out of the bath a moment later, dressed as well, but his hair still wet. He stopped after he entered the room. He obviously expected Loki, but he stared at Leah for a moment longer.

‘You’re the girl Sara mentioned,’ he said then.

‘That would be me, yes,’ Leah agreed as she walked closer to him. ‘But I think I heard more about you, than you about me.’

‘Probably,’ Rogers nodded.

‘I’m Leah, it’s very nice to meet you,’ Leah said then, lifting her hand for a proper Midgardian greeting. Rogers reached out and shook her much smaller hand. He seemed a little bewildered.

‘Steve,’ he said. ‘But you already knew that.’

‘Indeed,’ Leah said as she let go. The Captain had questions, probably quite a lot of them, but he seemed to have decided that this was not the right time to voice them.

‘So what’s up?’ James asked.

‘The Whisperer,’ Leah said. ‘He bothered us for for too long.’

‘A; I thought we were gonna leave that one for Strange,’ James said. ‘And B; how do you even plan to find the guy?’

‘We’re going to summon him,’ Leah said. Loki watched how James’ eyebrows lifted almost comically, and for once she very much understood his shock. This was such a bad idea.

‘That sounds like a very bad idea,’ Rogers said, echoing Loki’s thoughts.

‘If we summon the Whisperer, he’s gonna be able to take a goddamn “sacrifice”,’ James said. ‘That’s how that bastard stole the Kinmont’s girl soul.’

‘He won’t take anything if we kill him,’ Leah answered calmly. ‘Or incapacitate him.’

‘Why not Gor-Tok?’ James asked.

‘You can’t honestly tell me that you believe he’s important,’ Leah said. Loki really wanted to stab Gor-Tok with her spear, but he did not matter, they would just be wasting time with him. James knew that too.

‘And do we have a sure-fire way to take him down?’ the Captain asked. ‘And how do you know he’s gonna appear with this summoning? I mean, won’t he know he’s walking into a trap?’

‘Well, he won’t appear for Loki or James, but...’

‘No,’ James interrupted her right away.

‘He’s not marked, the Whisperer won’t know it’s him just from the summon,’ Leah explained.

‘We are not putting Steve and his soul on the line,’ James said sternly.

‘Wait, what now? Explain this one to me,’ Rogers said.

‘The Whisperer answers questions in exchange for human sacrifices,’ Loki answered. ‘So technically it wouldn’t have to be you...’

Rogers made an angry face, which was expected.

‘So this girl...’ he prompted.

‘Casey Kinmont, a friend of Doctor Strange,’ James told him. ‘She’s got involved in a bunch of messy demon businesses, and she made the call to save others, had a plan and all, but she still didn’t make it out. So she’s not just dead, her damn soul belongs to the Whisperer and it got dragged to whatever demonic plane that bastard dwells in.’

‘So if I summoned him he could do that to me?’ Rogers asked.

‘Technically,’ Leah started, but James was having none of it.

‘It doesn’t matter, because we are not doing it,’ he said firmly. ‘This fucking thing has been doing this for who knows how long, he can’t be tricked, and he can’t just simply be killed.’

‘But if he’s really that dangerous, does things like this to people, then something needs to be done,’ the Captain said, not surprising anyone in the room that he was already considering it.

‘No, Steve, we are not doing this. There’s other things we can do.’

‘Actually, there are not,’ Leah said. ‘Things are changing, swiftly and dangerously. If we do not act now we might lose our chance. We never had a high chance of victory, but lately our odds turned even worse.’

James was already shaking his head again, crossing his arms stubbornly.

‘No, I’m not doing it,’ he said.

‘Actually you do not have to do anything,’ Leah reminded him. Even her most pleasant tone could be so cold. And Loki saw the anger flare up in James even more when Leah looked over at Rogers, waiting for him to make a decision.

‘We need a better plan than just “summon an attack”,’ the Captain said. ‘We need something solid here.’

‘No!’ James yelled. ‘You two, get out!’ he pointed a metal finger in Loki’s and Leah’s direction.

It was predictable, both his anger and the reason why it reared its head so quickly. Normally, Loki would have been very unimpressed with such a display, but she already knew that the Captain was the one thing James won’t ever bargain with. He was fierce in his love, it burnt in his eyes like a forest fire. He would kill, he would destroy, he would gladly bath himself in blood to defend this one thing that mattered to him more than anything else. Loki found it hard to dismiss such violent passion.

So she pushed herself away from the wall she was leaning on and turned to leave. Besides, she was rather sure she knew the Captain well enough by now. The two might argue, might battle with words, but in the end Rogers will make a decision, and James will follow him. It was best to leave them to work out the details.

‘Come now, Leah,’ she said. ‘The birds have a quarrel to settle.’

She listened, which surprised Loki a little, but pleased her nonetheless. The door barely closed when she heard James’ loud and furious voice. Maybe it was very obvious, or Loki just knew him that well, but she could hear the fear underneath the anger.

* * *

Long hours later when James stormed into Loki’s quarters, it only took one glance to see that he lost the argument, as expected. His whole body was tense, posed for a fight, his face hard with anger.

‘You goddamn brought this shit up right in front of Steve deliberately,’ he said right away. He was scowling down at Loki, who once again took her place on the sofa in the dark corner.

‘He insisted on coming here, so he might as well hear everything first-hand too,’ Loki said.

‘Don’t try to feed me bullshit. You knew he won’t say no, not when it came to someone like the Whisperer.’

‘It was a reasonable assumption, yes,’ Loki nodded, because she was not about to insult James even more by denying such an obvious thing.

Honesty was rarely enough to tame James’ anger though, and indeed the scowl was still firmly in place. He kept a tight lid on his fury, so he did not lash out with words. He clenched his fists and kept his voice composed.

‘Leah?’ he asked curtly.

‘Preparations,’ Loki said. ‘As your dear Captain said, we need a better plan than just “summon and attack”.’

Unsurprisingly, this also did not manage to calm James down. After a moment he put his metal hand on the sofa’s armrest and leaned down to be on eye level with Loki.

‘If I lose him over this, I’m going to kill you,’ he said calmly.

Loki sometimes envied this calm. Her anger burnt brightly, and her emotions always came much closer to the surface than she would’ve liked. The recent changes in her had little to no effect on this. It was true for Loki the man, the Jotun, the woman... all her shapes and forms.

James’ anger was cold. His heart may have beaten loudly in his chest, but his voice remained even, his eyes calm and dry. Loki was much older, but her self-control was nowhere near this good. Although, she would rather never experience what James went through in order to gain such control.

‘Fine,’ she said simply.

‘You think I’m not serious?’ James questioned.

‘Oh, I know you are,’ Loki answered, looking back up at him. There was no need to debate whether James would actually be able to do it or not. Considering the situation they were in, their so-called partnership, the intention would be more than enough to bring this whole thing down on their heads.

They looked at each other for a few moments and whatever James saw in her face, it must’ve been enough for him, because he straightened back up, and turned to leave.

‘But James,’ Loki called after him. ‘No matter what happens, especially between you and I... Leah is off the table.’

James stopped, then answered without turning back.

‘You know I wouldn’t,’ he said.

Loki did know, even if trust did not come easily to her. She liked to think she knew him. She also liked to think that a human, no matter how skilled, could never actually harm Leah in any way.

Still, it was best if the two of them understood each other in matters like this. They needed to know where they stood, when and how much they could trust one another. Death treats aside, they were both honest, which was enough. James seemed to agree, because he left without another word.

* * *


	33. Chapter 33

There was nothing that could make Bucky less angry about this. In fact, he was downright murderous, which was maybe not the bad sort of mood going into this mess. Maybe he would even get a chance to take it out on someone.

‘Buck,’ Steve said quietly.

‘I’m real tempted to just repeat “fuck you” over and over again,’ Bucky said. It was not that far from the truth. Steve and his goddamn heroism, Loki and her… everything.

He still didn’t pull away when Steve stepped behind him, and he didn’t move either when Steve put his arms around his waist and plastered himself to Bucky’s back. He even put his head on Bucky’s shoulder like a sad overgrown puppy.

‘It’s going to be fine,’ Steve said.

‘No, it’s a shitty plan. You think it’s a shitty plan, even Loki thinks it’s a shitty plan, but you’re still doing it. It’s bullshit!’

‘It’s not the best plan, but we can pull it off,’ Steve said. ‘Look, you’re worried, I get it, but I came here to help you, not to stand at the sidelines.’

‘You never once stood at the sidelines in your damn life.’

‘Exactly,’ Steve agreed. ‘It’s going to be fine, you’ll be there to watch my back, right?’

‘If you’ll let me,’ Bucky said with a sigh.

‘I’m counting on it,’ Steve answered, tightening his arms around Bucky.

‘I just don’t…’ Bucky started, but the words stopped before they could tumble down his tongue. It made him tense just thinking about it.

‘Trust me, Buck. I’m not going anywhere,’ Steve told him quietly.

‘You don’t know that,’ Bucky argued.

‘Well, I will do my damn hardest,’ Steve promised. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and it made them sway slowly. Like the world’s smallest and strangest dance.

‘I remember you flinging yourself at danger, no matter the odds, like you didn’t even care if you would get back up.’

‘Buck, that’s not what this is...’

‘I thought you’d be different now… I thought… you still act like you don’t care if you don’t make it.’

Steve was silent for a long moment, keeping hold of Bucky tightly. Maybe he didn’t want Bucky to turn around. It made sense. It was a lot harder to put these thoughts into words when you had to look someone in the eye, witness all their reactions.

‘I don’t want to die… don’t think I do,’ Steve said, his voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper.

‘Not anymore you mean,’ Bucky said. He felt like he said it harshly, despite his voice being as quiet as Steve’s.

Steve sighed and moved to rest his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky reached up to cover Steve’s hands with his own. This was all he could do unless he twisted out of Steve’s arms, and there was no way he was going to do that.

‘Hey… Steve… It’s okay, you hear? I didn’t say it to--’

‘I was not okay, Buck,’ Steve said. ‘Not after you fell, especially not when I woke up again… I felt like I should’ve been long gone… but I never… I just…’

‘I know,’ Bucky murmured.

‘It’s different now,’ Steve continued. ‘Sometimes I still wake up feeling like they should’ve left me in the Atlantic… but it’s easier now to get up, it’s...’

‘It’s easier to remember the good things,’ Bucky finished.

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed.

‘Hey, I wanna look at you,’ Bucky said, no longer able to resist.

Steve loosened his arms and let him turn around. He looked smaller than he actually was, and his eyes remained firmly somewhere around Bucky’s shoulder. It was never like Steve, to pour his soul out. Oh, he could shout rousing speeches from the top of his head when it came to his ideals, to the things he believed in. But when it came to Steven Grant Rogers, he never had much to say. That’s why it was always Bucky’s job to say it instead of him.

He reached out to pull Steve back close, held his head in his hands and left a kiss on his cheek. Steve closed his eyes and let himself be pulled, allowed Bucky to do whatever he wanted. And what he wanted was to kiss Steve breathless. It was to remind him that Bucky was here, remind him that he cared, and to thank him for trusting Bucky still, not just with his life, but with everything he was.

* * *

Bucky was still not happy about this and he made sure his face showed that as he walked up the stairs. Of course Loki was not going to call the whole plan off just because Bucky glared a bit more than usual. In fact, it just made her smirk at him in amusement.

‘No armour?’ Steve asked as he reached the top. Loki wore human clothes, tight trousers, long leather boots, a dark shirt, and a leather jacket. Steve and Bucky on the other hand were both decked out in their full gear, shield included in Steve’s case.

‘Of course I’m wearing armour,’ Loki said. The clothes flickered and it took but a second for a golden glow to transform the clothes into Loki’s usual Asgardian armour. Then just as quickly she was back in the normal clothes, although it was hardly “normal” for Loki.

‘Why?’ Bucky asked simply.

‘Leah found us a perfect location, but it will take a quick look around to find it, and we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.’

‘You could’ve said so in the first place,’ Bucky told her, gesturing at his gear, which was anything but subtle, not to mention Steve’s Captain America get-up. It was not the bright blue striped suit, but the dark navy stealth suit he used, but still, it was more than a little conspicuous, then there was the shield too.

‘Nonsense,’ Loki said.

Bucky caught the golden glow and looked down to see it surrounding him. The change was instantaneous and he didn’t even feel anything. The clothes looked pretty standard, exactly like the sort of things Bucky wore nowadays. He could still feel the weight of his guns, the heaviness of his kevlar, but it looked like he was in plain civilian clothes.

‘What if I want to grab a gun?’ he asked. ‘Or a knife?’

‘The illusion will shatter, so keep your hands to yourself,’ Loki said.

‘Yeah, not happening,’ Steve said, which made Bucky turn to look at him. He gave up keeping a straight face only after a moment and huffed out a laugh. Steve had a blue suit on, just as bright as his usual Cap outfit, red shirt and red shoes, and a red and white tie with little stars to make the whole look perfect.

The glare on his face just made the whole picture better. He was also a bit baffled probably. He did not know Loki’s absurd sense of humour which usually popped up in the most inappropriate moments.

‘I’m not sure what you mean,’ Loki said with a frown, looking serious. Butter wouldn’t melt in her damn mouth. ‘I think it’s suitably… patriotic.’

‘You’re not wrong about that,’ Bucky murmured.

Steve made a face and just kept staring at her until a second flash of golden light replaced the bright outfit with something more similar to Bucky’s.

It was stupid, childish, and bizarre in a way only Loki managed to be, but it somehow broke the tension that was building between them. Bucky could breathe again. Worry was no longer gnawing on his insides, dread no longer made his limbs feel like lead.

He still hated this, he was still afraid, and he was still ready to start throwing punches at the earliest opportunity, but he was ready to go.

* * *

The portal opened up in a dark alley, but the sound of traffic and nearby people immediately told them that the place was nowhere near abandoned. That explained the clothes, of course, but it also put Bucky on edge. It just never ended well when they were too many people around. But he understood that it was not always possible to fight their battles in the middle of forests and long abandoned Hydra bases. Their enemies didn’t really care about casualties. Bucky was pretty sure Loki didn’t either.

The buildings around them were tall, but also old. Bucky noticed the smell of piss in the alley, the stench of garbage, but also cigarette smoke. There was loud music playing in one of the buildings around them, Bucky could feel the deep pumping bass in his chest.

‘Follow me,’ Loki said. ‘But try to be subtle.’

‘I’m good at subtle,’ Bucky said.

‘I’m really bad at subtle,’ Steve said at the same time.

Loki just shook her head, and probably rolled her eyes, but Bucky did not see that, then headed out of the alley.

‘Just act natural,’ Bucky told Steve.

‘That’s what I’m not really good at,’ Steve said in return.

Bucky gave him a smile. ‘If it makes you feel better, I’m also a lot better at staying out of sight than blending in.’

‘We’re gonna do so great,’ Steve remarked, some sarcasm slipping into his tone.

They followed Loki, sticking together for now. Once they were out on the street Bucky realized that it was not going to be that difficult to stay unnoticed, because the sidewalk was filled with people waiting to get into some club. There were a lot of drunks, while others were too busy talking to their friends to notice anyone else.

Steve was looking at the buildings around them, reading the street signs, probably trying to figure out where they were, since Loki did not bother mentioning that.

‘Is this... Detroit?’ he asked with a frown. Bucky looked around too, then spotted a manhole on the road, which yes, said “Detroit Waterworks”.

‘Looks like it,’ he agreed. Steve followed his line of sight and spotted the text too.

‘Well, at least it’s not Jersey,’ he said with a sigh. Bucky snorted and started walking to not lose sight of Loki. Steve followed him.

The long line of people waiting to get inside the club were mostly standing by the wall, so it was easy to walk past them without bumping into anyone. They were nondescript enough to not draw attention to themselves, even with their height. Loki though...

‘Hey don’t be like that baby, c’mon stay for a chat!’ a guy yelled a little ahead of them. And like the big dumb herd they were, one of them spotting a woman walking by was enough for others to react too. There was a whistle, then a few other comments.

Bucky had no idea how garden-variety assholes like this were unable to see the danger surrounding Loki. It was so clear that she was not to be messed with, you only had to take a good look at her. And it wasn’t just that he knew that she was not human. But maybe Bucky could no longer think with the mind of a civilian, especially not a drunk one.

Loki kept walking, and Bucky wanted to breathe out in relief, because they did not need a damn bloodbath in front of a nightclub with dozens of people watching. But then one guy had to be really descriptive about what he would do if he had “those long legs wrapped around his head” and Loki stopped, dammit.

‘Keep your distance,’ he whispered to Steve and picked up his pace. He did not run, he kept it casual, but he knew he had to intervene. A lot could be said about Loki’s vindictive streak, and dishing out a swift punishment for an insult was definitely one of its main characteristics.

She was already turning around when Bucky caught up with her and put a hand on her lower-back, giving her a slight push.

‘Keep walking,’ he said quietly. Loki’s green eyes were definitely murderous, but Bucky’s presence was enough to remind her of what they were doing here. She started walking again.

‘Aw sweetie, ditch the punk, come on!’ the guy complained loudly, his words slurred.

Seriously, having to deal with this meaningless shit on top their crap demon-hunting plan was putting Bucky in a very trigger-happy mood.

Then the guy started shouting, almost screaming behind them, and Bucky quickly glanced back. He saw nothing that was actually hurting him, but he was freaking out about something, because he was jumping around, shrugging some of his clothes off as he kept swatting at his chest and arms, like he was trying to get something off. The people standing in the line kept staring at him, while his friends were hovering nearby, trying to get him to stop.

Bucky glared at Loki.

‘You call that not drawing attention to ourselves?’ he asked.

‘Everyone will assume that his mind is off its hinges,’ Loki shrugged. ‘Humans are fond of filling their heads and veins with poison.’

‘Not the point,’ Bucky shook his head as he took his hand off Loki’s back. ‘It’s risky and you know it.’

‘The Lady Sif never let insults like this go unpunished,’ Loki said.

‘Last I checked, you didn’t even like this Sif chick, so don’t pretend she’s your damn role model.’

That shut her up for now. They walked in silence and Bucky had the urge to glance back again to check where Steve was, but there was nothing more suspicious than someone constantly turning around on a street.

Loki was finally focusing on what she was supposed to be doing, and she turned down the next corner onto a smaller street. They passed two buildings when Steve joined them, coming out of a side-alley.

‘Found a short-cut,’ he said easily. ‘What did you do to that guy?’

‘Illusions only he could see,’ Loki said as she kept walking, touching the brick wall next to them again and again, probably searching for traces of magic.

‘And what did he see?’ Steve asked.

‘The biggest and nastiest critters I could think of,’ Loki answered, sounding pleased with herself.

‘I guess that’s as good as a punch in the face,’ Steve decided. Up until this moment Bucky wasn’t even worried about Steve punching random assholes for running their mouths, which was stupid in retrospect, because it was Steve, there was always a risk of that happening.

‘It’s like I’m herding children,’ he grumbled quietly. Loki ignored him, but Steve gave him a little confused frown, like he didn’t get it. It was bullshit, he knew exactly what Bucky meant. He was just playing innocent. It was an old game, this back and forth, so even though Bucky looked away and shook his head in annoyance, the familiarity made him feel comfortable in his own skin.

‘There it is,’ Loki said and headed towards an old four-storey building, which looked a lot more run down than the others around here. She walked straight up to a rusty old cellar door behind a bunch of trash cans. She crouched down and simply crushed the lock and opened the door leading down.

‘So what is this place again?’ Steve asked. ‘You said we needed a specific place to summon the Whisperer, why here?’

Loki started walking down the stairs, Steve followed her, Bucky went last.

‘Because if I do all the preparations for this summoning, the Whisperer will know I’m here,’ she said. ‘So we have to settle for second-hand groundwork.’

Bucky shut the trapdoor behind them and didn’t feel good about not being able to lock it.

‘So someone did a summoning here?’ he asked then.

‘Something like that,’ Loki said, which was way too vague. Bucky didn’t like it when Loki got vague, it meant that she was withholding information, usually gruesome information.

‘Something like that,’ Steve repeated dubiously.

The stairs went on and on, so this basement was a little deeper than an average cellar. Maybe it used to be an underground parking garage. The illusions Loki placed on them vanished as they descended. They were no longer needed.

The basement was cold, damp, and dark when they finally reached the bottom of the stairs. And Bucky knew he won’t be able to see a thing if they ventured deeper inside.

‘Ugh, this smell,’ Steve spoke up. ‘This place leads to the sewers or something?’

‘I would not rule out the possibility,’ Loki said, then she flicked a hand and made the lights flicker to life above them. It was not a garage, but it was big, and one of the walls was knocked down on the far end, leading to somewhere dark. The draft was pretty strong, so wherever that hole lead, it was connected to the outside.

‘Oh, Jesus,’ Steve said and Bucky turned to see what he was looking at. The left side of the large underground hall was still mostly surrounded by darkness as most of the lights were out, but he could clearly see the large dark patch on the floor, some chalk, chains, melted wax... it explained the smell too.

‘What the hell happened here?’ Steve asked as they walked closer. The chains were relatively new in comparison to everything else, but they were still starting to get rusty from the old dried blood that covered them. There were more blood stains on the floor, long dried too. Whatever happened here, it happened a long time ago. Months at least, maybe longer.

‘A ritual of some sort,’ Loki said, idly walking around the large stain of blood, assessing their environment, probably contemplating whether this was a suitable place or not. ‘It hardly matters.’

‘Someone was murdered here from the looks of it,’ Steve said. ‘I’d say that matters a bit.’

‘Someone was murdered here months ago, obviously in secret,’ Loki said. ‘You want to run off searching for the culprits? Good luck with that.’

‘Well, the police could still check the blood, find out who it was maybe,’ Steve said.

‘If you want to play investigator after we’re done, feel free,’ Loki said. ‘The blood won’t go anywhere.’

‘How did you know to look for this place anyway?’ Steve asked.

‘Stuff like this leaves a mark,’ Bucky said. ‘A signature or something, you know, like a nuclear bomb leaving behind radiation, just the magic version of it.’

‘And you can find these signatures?’ Steve asked from Loki.

‘I can, if I’m nearby,’ Loki said, still walking around. ‘Ugh, rats,’ she interrupted herself and Bucky heard the frightened scattering of the rodents in the dark. ‘Leah narrowed it down for me in advance, she has a particular talent for finding things.’

‘Why Detroit?’

Loki crouched down and touched one of the burnt out candles on the floor, examining it for a long moment.

‘Places of decay are always favoured by those looking to dabble into the darker side of the arcane arts. Suitable locations, easy targets.’

Steve was already opening his mouth, and Bucky knew what he was going to say, so he answered before Steve even uttered the first word.

‘In a neighbourhood like this, nobody is going to kick up a fuss if someone anonymous goes missing,’ he said, staring at the blood stain. ‘Someone homeless, a drunk, a working girl... ain’t nobody’s going to search for them.’

He knew that made Steve think of their old neighbourhood. Maybe Brooklyn was not the worst place to be in New York, but it was also not exactly the district of the rich and powerful, definitely not back in the 30s. They always heard about boys going out for a drink and never getting back home again, stabbed in an alley over a few dollars, their heads bashed-in for looking at the wrong dame... or the wrong fella. It also reminded Bucky why he used to be so damn scared of Steve getting into fights in dirty back-alleys.

‘This will do,’ Loki decided.

Bucky chased away the memories from the forefront of his mind and focused on the task at hand. This was not the time to be distracted by the past.

* * *

The giant hole in the wall lead to the sewers just like Bucky suspected, but then he found another smashed wall which lead right into an abandoned section of the Detroit subway. It worried him. Someone made these passageways for a reason, turned them into easy escape ways. Indeed, if he wanted to run from here, he would pick the sewer or the old subway line instead of heading back up to the street.

Loki said it did not matter who did this... _thing_ here, a ritual whatever, but Bucky disagreed. He wanted to know who these people were, who spilled so much blood and knocked down so many walls without anybody noticing. Detroit had plenty of abandoned buildings, but this was still fishy as hell.

‘Steve, you good?’ he asked on his radio. They used something a bit more old-school than the digital communicators of the Avengers. Sure, it was an Analog channel, but it’s not like they had a whole team they needed to keep in touch with, and this worked better with their noisy signal. Bucky wasn’t sure what interfered with their frequency, but it was just one more annoyance on the long list of things he did not like about this mess.

‘ _I’m good, Buck_ ,’ Steve answered. ‘ _I’m almost done_.’

‘Don’t forget, you can’t ask any questions,’ Loki leaned closer to Bucky so that Steve could hear her. ‘He will be able to take what he wants if he has given you information.’

‘ _I know, we’ve been over this_ ,’ Steve answered.

‘The information might sound tempting,’ Loki warned. ‘Maybe he will offer knowledge of things you are desperate to know, but believe me, you do not want to pay the price.’

‘ _I’m not easily tempted_ ,’ Steve told them confidently.

‘Yeah, that’s the one thing I’m not worried about,’ Bucky said. Steve was not stupid, and he wasn’t going to fall for the Whisperer’s words. Bucky was more concerned about how the Whisperer was going to react once he realized that there was no deal to be made. Bucky needed to be fast, as soon as the demon showed his ugly mug Bucky’s going to be on his way back to Steve. He would have preferred to stay closer than this in the first place, but it was too risky.

‘I need to go even farther,’ Loki said. ‘I don’t want him to know I’m nearby.’

‘You’re gonna sense it if he appears, right?’ Bucky asked.

‘I will know even before he fully materializes,’ Loki told him. ‘Relax already, James. Your Captain can take care of himself.’

Then she turned and walked even deeper into the abandoned subway line. Bucky waited until he could no longer see her and took a deep breath. He let the air out slowly and braced himself.

‘Okay, Steve, we’re ready,’ he said.

‘ _All done here, too_ ,’ Steve answered back. ‘ _So, here goes nothing I guess_.’

Bucky wanted to say something more, but there was nothing else to say. He already told Steve everything he wanted to, there were no more words worth saying. He could not hear what Steve was doing in the blood-stained basement, so he just waited and waited, his body tense and his mind running through bad scenarios over and over again.

Then he heard a thump, but it did not come from the direction of the basement Steve was in. It was a little distant, but Bucky felt the vibrations through his boots. He turned around and listened carefully. There was a metallic clank, like the sound of a chain, then another one of those thumps, this time closer. Bucky stood up and stepped back into the shadows as much as he could, hands ready to reach for a weapon.

Something flew through the air. Bucky caught the sound of it a moment before it hit the ground a few feet before him. Grenade... he ran and leapt to get as far away as he could, but the explosion still made heat flare up in his side and right arm, his ears also started ringing. He didn’t hit the rails, which was lucky. That would have hurt like a bitch.

He knew one thing for sure; demons did not use fucking hand grenades. He grabbed his gun and rolled to the side to get to the wall. In fact, there was only one damn fucker who would throw goddamn grenades at him in a place like this.

‘Arcade!’ he yelled angrily. He knew it gave away his location, but at the same time...

‘Oh boy, I should feel real honoured that you remember me,’ Arcade replied, giving away his location too, so Bucky raised his gun and started shooting. Maybe he didn’t hit him at all, but that was not the point, it just gave him the opportunity to run and find a better cover.

How? How the hell did he know they would be here? How did he find them? How could this be a trap?

Arcade shot back, he had a rifle, but Bucky couldn’t tell what sort from sound alone. It didn’t matter how this happened. He just needed to get back to Steve immediately.

‘Don’t think this is personal, it really isn’t,’ Arcade said. Great, he was a monologuing one. ‘Sure it’s something to brag about, but damn, it’s really more the big paycheck.’

He was a jerk with a big-mouth, Bucky was going to kill him out of sheer principle. He didn’t say anything, because he suspected that Arcade didn’t see where he ran while he covered from Bucky’s shots. Maybe Arcade was stupid enough to fall for something like this, but Bucky was not about to announce his exact location again.

‘And if you think about it, I’m kind of the good guy in the set-up too,’ Arcade continued. ‘I mean, I have an impressive kill-count, I really do, but oh, I’ve got nothing on you,’ he whistled and even laughed a little, sounding impressed. ‘But I am little disappointed to be honest. _The Winter Soldier_ , the ghost no one ever sees twice, the killer from the shadows... I guess people do love to exaggerate when it comes to scary stories.’

If Bucky truly were the Soldier still, Arcade would be long dead. Not that Bucky had any doubts about killing this annoying fat-head, but he was not nearly as reckless and single-minded as before. It was easier to hunt someone down and kill them when they were your sole purpose, your only objective. When nothing else mattered but their death, it was easy. Now Bucky had so many other things to worry about. Like the fact that he couldn’t even try contacting Steve right now, and that Steve also did not contact him.

Arcade stopped talking for now, but he couldn’t have moved without being heard, so his location was still firmly in Bucky’s mind. Now he just needed the right moment to end this.

‘Come on! You’re boring me!’ Arcade yelled, like a spoiled brat, so Bucky stood up and let a bullet fly. There was a grunt of pain and a quiet thud as Arcade probably stumbled back into a wall. Bucky started running. He doubted that the bullet actually hit anything vital, because he only had Arcade’s voice to aim at, and he only shot with his pistol. He did not want to waste the bullets he loaded into the Colt Commando on his back.

Sure enough, he was being shot at after a few moments passed, but it was dark, Bucky was quick, and Arcade was probably bleeding, so he dodged the bullets well enough. One ricocheted off his metal arm, but he barely paid attention to it.

Then he dropped to the ground when something metallic flew at him. The long bolt lodged deep into a wall behind him. Bucky quickly got up, but Gor-Tok was not shooting at him, it was just a stray bolt Loki dodged somewhere further ahead in the darkness.

Loki would be fine, Bucky needed to get to Steve. He started running again, but he almost stumbled when the ground shifted under his feet, the metal rails bent and broke as a large crack split the ground in two. The walls were shaking too and Bucky could hear and feel small bits of concrete falling down from above. Old pipes and electric lines were breaking and falling down, dislodging from their places with loud metallic crunches.

But there was no light, no sound, so it was not the N’Garai. The ground kept shaking as the cracks widened, and smaller ones spread all over the walls and the ceiling.

Where there Earthquakes in Detroit? Bucky couldn’t remember.

He spotted Loki, running towards him, jumping over the rift easily. Bucky did not see Gor-Tok anywhere, but he must’ve been close behind.

‘Run!’ Loki ordered, grabbing hold of Bucky’s arm.

‘What the hell is going on?’ Bucky asked, standing his ground.

There was a loud crack from above them and Bucky knew that the tunnel was going to cave in, maybe in a few moments, maybe in a few minutes, but soon. The ground was still shaking, almost pulsating, some waves were mild, some almost made him lose his balance. One large metal pipe cracked in half and fell down right behind them, and soon more followed.

Shit, Steve.

‘I said, run!’ Loki repeated. She was damn strong and managed to pull Bucky in the other direction a little, but no! Bucky twisted out of her grip and grabbed his Colt Commando rifle to start running, Gor-Tok be damned, but Loki grabbed him again.

‘I need to get Steve,’ Bucky said.

‘If Gor-Tok won’t kill you, than this damn tunnel will!’ Loki told him angrily.

Screw that. ‘I’m not leaving without Steve!’ he yelled.

Loki should have known better, because he did not fucking care how dangerous it was, he was not leaving Steve behind, no way in hell.

‘Someone showed up, but not the Whisperer,’ Loki told him, staring at his face.

‘I don’t care!’ Bucky shouted.

Loki glared at him, then turned back to where the passageway back to the sewers and the basement was.

‘I’ll get him, go,’ Loki said.

‘What?’

‘I said; I’ll get him, so go!’

Bucky hesitated. On most days he trusted Loki with his life, he did, but Steve’s life... that was different. And Bucky didn’t know if he could trust her with that.

Finally Gor-Tok’s tall frame showed up on the other side of the wide crack. He still looked like a walking seven feet tall armour to Bucky. It was impossible to see his face, there was just a dark shadow and two burning spots of orange inside the helmet. His black armour covered him from head to toe and only a few locks of long dark blond hair spilled over his shoulders.

‘Go,’ Loki repeated, her spear materializing in her hand, her eyes firmly on Gor-Tok. ‘I’ll get him.’

A goddamn leap of faith, that’s what it was, and Bucky hated it. He ran.

If he got out quickly enough, he could circle back to the other entrance above on the street, then go down to the basement through the stairs they originally used. He wanted to believe that Steve would just take the stairs and run outside at the first sign of trouble, but he knew better than that.

He would have liked to know the layout of this old subway line, because then he would’ve known where the next possible exit was. The tunnel probably led to some of the still in-use lines of the underground, in which case he would be able to get back up to the street at the closest station. But shit, he had no idea how far that was.

The damn ground was still shaking, making it difficult to run at full speed, and dust and dirt was raining down on him constantly too. He even had to dodge falling pipes. He heard the sound of metal bending and concrete breaking from far behind him. He did not know whether it was the sound of a fight or the tunnel collapsing. He really hoped it was the former.

A metallic zing caught his ear and he dodged out of reflex. He threw himself to the side, twisting around in the air and landing on his back to aim and shoot with his rifle. He didn’t even know what the thing was, he just pulled the trigger and watched as the little orb exploded into sparks.

‘I was gonna make this nice and easy,’ Arcade said from somewhere farther away. ‘Clean and painless, a bullet to your head... but you just had to be difficult, so that’s off the table.’

He heard that sound again, but he didn’t see anything. The things had to be hovering in the air somewhere still out of sight. He didn’t have time for this. He jumped to his feet to get the hell out, but a bolt of electricity sizzled through the air and the rails underneath him, bright and blinding, and he was too late to dodge that one.

He felt it in his bionic arm first, how the current run through it, then pain jolted into his neck, where metal connected to flesh, then it sizzled down into his legs and made him stumble. His muscles clenched and tensed, locking his whole body up for a long moment. His mind jumped back to the chair, the smell of his burnt hair, the taste of rubber on his tongue, the leather biting into his right wrist, and the muffled sound of his own scream. He tried to shake the sensations away, get rid of the images and clear his mind.

‘I should’ve opened with that one,’ Arcade said casually. That tone, the way he talked while Bucky could still feel the electricity in the tips of his fingers and the roots of his teeth just made the memories clearer. The doctors were always so casual about it. It was a routine, strapping him down, putting in the mouth guard, even Bucky’s screams, it was all so damn natural for them.

Bucky felt rage, hot and burning rage. He knew the electric shock should’ve kept him down longer, but he got his muscles to work, got his arm to obey his command. Arcade walked closer while Bucky writhed on the ground, confident in his handiwork, which made the shock on his face all the better to see.

He clearly did not expect Bucky to get up, let alone cross the distance between them in a handful of seconds. He still managed to avoid Bucky crushing his throat with hit metal hand. Bucky was uncoordinated, his muscles were stiff, and his arm was sluggish, but he still kneed the bastard in the gut and punched him so hard he flew a good ten feet through the air.

But those damn flying orbs started shooting at him. He didn’t know whether they were shooting bullets or something else. Arcade was lying on the ground, and Bucky didn’t care whether he was dead or alive. He wasted enough time.

He started running again, not caring about the orbs still flying after him. He kept changing directions to avoid being shot, but he was still hit. They were not bullets, the wounds burnt and stung, but there was no metal burying itself into his flesh, so he ignored the pain and kept going.

He picked up the sound of a subway train, just on the other side of the wall, so he kept his eyes open for any old service doors or other passageways. He grabbed his pistol again, because he did not want these fucking things following him up to the street. He turned and shot down one of them, then ducked when another one flew right at his head. He turned after it and shot that one too. Then he ran again. There couldn’t be that many left, two, maybe three.

He finally saw a metal door a little farther ahead in the tunnel, so he stopped and turned fully around to face the things. One he spotted right away and managed to take it down, but another one shot him in the neck. The pain made his vision blur, and he had to use all of his remaining bullets to hit it. Then the sound stopped, that was the last one.

The ground beneath his feet and the wall behind his back started shaking violently again, then there was a loud crash from somewhere further away in the tunnel. It collapsed... Bucky knew that even before the large cloud of dust reached him. He turned his head away and buried his nose and mouth in the crook of his elbow to avoid breathing it in.

Then there was silence again, even the quakes shaking the ground stopped. He reached for his radio, but it was still silent, maybe even dead, fried from the electric shock. He showed it back into his belt with an angry grunt.

He holstered his gun and went for the door. It was locked of course, but the hinges were visible, so he quickly twisted and tore both of them down, then pulled the door out of its frame. He found hard plastic and some dim light behind it. He had no more time to waste, so he just broke it with a few hard punches. The plastic cracked then broke, and sparks flew everywhere as the lights went out. He had to pull a larger piece off to make a big enough hole for himself.

He was about to squeeze himself through when a subway train sped by, blasting him in the face with hot air and deafening noise. He waited until it was gone to stick his head out. The door was hidden behind some digital advertising board and yep, there were a few people standing on the platform staring at him as he climbed through. Great.

He watched out for the rails as he jumped down, then he quickly made his way up to the platform, then towards the stairs. People jumped out of his way like scared little birds, which was nothing surprising.

He ran up to the street, and as soon as the cool night air filled his lungs he knew things were bad, because he heard sirens. He saw police cars speeding by, he heard ambulances and fire-trucks too. He even saw the red and blue lights in the distance.

The streets were not really crowded, so he didn’t have to dodge many people as he ran back towards the club and the abandoned building not far behind it. He was only a few blocks away, he could get back in time.

Then he started noticing the cracks on the road and the pavement as he ran, he saw that most shop windows were shattered. He saw a car, half sunken into a large crack underneath it, the alarm blaring and blinding him for a second with the flashing headlights. Then he noticed the larger holes on the road, and a fire hydrant that was spewing water everywhere. Then the sound of people reached his ears, confused shouts, crying, a man talking on a megaphone, screams of pain. Dammit!

He ran, but he stuck to the shadows as much as he could, he needed to get past the club. He found an alley, probably the same one Steve used as a short-cut earlier. The fire escape fell down from the building, there was glass and mangled metal everywhere, almost blocking the entire back alley. Bucky had to squeeze through between a dumpster and a twisted piece of the metal stairs.

The smaller road around the corner looked even worse, about a hundred yards collapsed from it, and Bucky saw that the sewer was down below. He knew that the ground shook, and he knew that the old subway collapsed, but this was not what he expected, this was so much worse. He turned and ran, then abruptly stopped when he caught side of the building, the one with the entrance to the deep basement.

It fell down, it collapsed... his ears started ringing and he no longer heard the sirens. The air was still filled with dust, it filled his nose and scratched his throat with every harsh breath he took. His legs decided to move again, so he ran closer, but it was no use, barely two walls were up, the rest was just a pile of rubble, bricks and wood, steel beams and glass.

‘Shit,’ he breathed out. His mind was frozen and he didn’t... he couldn’t go back through the tunnel, he couldn’t go back down from this way either. His metal fingers creaked from how forcefully he clenched his fist.

How was he going to...

Ha started running back towards the police cars. He didn’t have his phone. Steve was the only reason he even had it, and he thought there was no need to carry it around when Steve was with him. So fucking stupid of him.

He ran right up to the first car, making a girl that was talking to an officer let out a small shocked scream. Both policemen spun around to stare at him.

‘I need a phone,’ he said.

‘Sir...’ one of them started, taking in the sight of Bucky, quickly noticing his arm, his guns, his holstered knives. His eyes widened a little and his hand was already twitching towards his pistol.

‘I need a phone, now!’ he demanded, his voice was uneven and way too loud.

‘Sir, I need you to step back,’ the officer said, putting up a hand to motion him to back off.

‘No, listen to me, I need a phone, now!’

He didn’t notice that he slammed his hand down on the hood of the police car, and he also didn’t notice that it bent under his fist. But he did notice when two guns were suddenly pointed at him. Shit, he was screwing this up.

He sucked in a deep breath and unclenched his fists.

‘Listen to me... The Avengers, I need to call the Avengers,’ he said. Trying to keep his voice as quiet as he could, as calm as he could, but the policemen were still just staring at him, guns up in the air.

‘Please,’ he added.

It was the girl that moved, twitchy and scared, but a pink Starkphone held out in her hand. Her eyes were big as she stared at Bucky, she also kept glancing at his arm.

The cops didn’t shoot him when he reached out for the phone, they just stood there frozen as Bucky entered the number he memorized. He just hoped it would connect him to the right people.

‘ _Thank you for calling Stark Enterprises, if you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 to..._ ’

‘HELEN, this is Barnes, you better be listening to all incoming calls,’ Bucky said, impatient. He had to be careful not to crush the phone in his hand.

The automatic message cut off after a second and then there was a click.

‘ _Sergeant Barnes, this is Vision_ ,’ the voice on the other end said. Shit, thank god.

‘I need help,’ he said, his voice sounding way too scared even to his own ears, and the android immediately realized that something was wrong.

‘ _Where are you?_ ’

‘Detroit,’ Bucky said and opened his mouth to explain, but Vision cut him off.

‘ _It’s on the news already, we’re on our way_ ,’ he said.

‘Thank you,’ he said in a scratchy whisper, his mouth was still filled with dust... and blood, he didn’t even notice that before.

He hung up and wordlessly held out the phone for the girl. She took it back with shaking hands.

Bucky just stood there for a moment, just breathing, then he ran again. He didn’t care about the cops calling after him, he just had to get back to the building and do something while he waited for help... anything.

* * *


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** Blood, gore and violence in this chapter.

Steve was standing in the dark basement, confused. He strongly suspected that he somehow failed to follow Loki’s overly simplistic instructions. The summoning did not involve any fresh blood besides his own, and even that was barely a few drops. (Steve was so grateful for that.) And he was sure that he did everything right. But then nothing happened. He felt a chill run down his spine, but everything else remained exactly the same. There were no noises, no flashing lights… there was nothing.

So he was just standing there, staring at the dark stains on the concrete floor, when the floor and walls started shaking. He tensed instantly and readied himself to face whatever was approaching. He needed to focus on keeping his balance when stronger waves shook the floor, but he stood his ground despite the spider web cracks spreading on the floor everywhere.

But there was nothing. Nothing in this room at least.

‘Buck? I don’t see anyone. What’s going on?’ he asked on the radio, but received only static as answer. Dammit. He put the thing back in his belt, because he had an inkling it won’t suddenly start working again.

There was no point sticking around in the basement, so he turned to run through the giant hole Loki and Bucky used to leave. Maybe they didn’t get far enough. Maybe the Whisperer sensed their presence and went immediately after them instead of appearing in front of Steve. There were too many possibilities. One thing was for sure, this thing went to hell in a handbasket a lot quicker than Steve expected. He really wanted to know where exactly they miscalculated, but there was no time to contemplate. He needed to find Bucky first.

The water in the sewer was splashing around from the vibrations in the ground, and it was frankly disgusting, but Steve ignored it as much as he could. The hole leading to the old subway line was just ten or so yards away from the basement “entrance”, so he didn’t have to bear the smell for long.

Then something exploded right in his face just as he was about to dash through the opening. He was tossed back into the opposite sewer wall from the blast. It was a bomb, a grenade, or something else more magical, he had no idea. He shook his head to get the ringing out of his ears and got back to his feet quickly. He wasn’t seriously injured, just a little banged up.

The entrance to the subway line collapsed from the explosion, so now blocks of concrete and metal pipes blocked the way.

‘Dammit,’ Steve cursed as he looked at the blockage. His mind was immediately trying to come up with alternate routes. It would take too long to find a different entrance into the old subway line from the surface, and Steve doubted he would be able to knock a hole in the sewer wall with nothing but his fists and shield. Besides, he had no idea how much he would compromise the structural integrity of the tunnel if he just started punching holes in the wall. He really didn’t want to knock down some supporting beam by accident.

He had to get through here. He grabbed one of the metal pipes to bend it out of the way, then his ear caught the sound of shooting. First he heard the sound of a pistol in the distance and then a rifle, a little closer to where Steve was. This was not the Whisperer, or if it was, they brought company. Shit.

Steve put his shield down and grabbed the metal pipe with both hands, pulling it towards himself to get it out of the way. The pipe bent, then broke with a snap. Steve tossed the broken pipe away and was about to grab another one when the ground started shaking again, a lot more violently than before. Steve had to press himself to the wall next to the hole to stay on his feet. Dust and other bits and pieces were falling from the ceiling, but the noise coming from the other side of the wall was much worse. It sounded like the whole tunnel was warping, twisting... maybe even collapsing.

As soon as this wave quieted down Steve was back to clearing out the opening, pulling more pipes out. The concrete blocks were much easier to roll and shove back into the subway line once most of the pipes were gone. Steve still felt sweat sliding down his temples by the time he was done.

He quickly picked up his shield again and squeezed himself through the small opening he managed to make for himself. There was a noise, the sound of distant voices, but Steve couldn’t for the life of him figure out whether one of them was Bucky or not. It was the only direction that made sense thought, so he ran and hoped that it was the right way.

He came to an abrupt halt right after the first bend in the tunnel as a tall dark figure was standing in his way. The lights were dim and he only saw the figure’s back, so he couldn’t make out much, but his first thought was The Whisperer. They were at least seven feet tall and massive in width too. What else could they be but a demon?

They didn’t hear Steve, or at least it didn’t seem like they did, so Steve shifted his weight and made his steps as light as possible as he moved closer.

‘I’ve been eager to put an end to you, Gor-Tok,’ Loki spoke. She had to be close, but Steve couldn’t see her with Gor-Tok in the way. It was not the Whisperer, which just confused Steve even further, because he just couldn’t for the life of him figure out what the hell went wrong so quickly.

‘You court death like a rutting cockerel,’ Gor-Tok said in return, his voice sounded scratchy, seldom used.

Loki laughed. Steve could still not see her, but he easily pictured her throwing her head back, lips stretched wide and sharp, dark curls spilling over leather and metal covered shoulders.

Steve expected her to say something back, because Loki always tried to have the last word, but instead Gor-Tok took a step back to block an attack. The big guy was pretty quick for his size – although Loki was quicker – and he was like a solid fort, strong and almost immovable.

He had no idea whether Loki knew he was there or not, but Gor-Tok definitely did not. He could slip away maybe, while the two of them were busy fighting one another, and continue his search for Bucky. But dammit, he remembered what Loki looked like the last time she fought Gor-Tok. He came here to help Bucky, and no matter whether he liked it or not, Loki was on his team for now.

He didn’t know why Bucky wasn’t here with Loki, but he hoped to god he was safe... or someone was going to pay.

He waited for the right moment. Gor-Tok and Loki were circling one another, attacking with a force that shook the whole tunnel around them, the ground cracked, metal rails bent, and they just kept going at one another. Steve waited, and when Gor-Tok had to back off or lose his balance he let his shield fly. It struck him right in the back of his knees. Gor-Tok stumbled, and Loki took advantage, sinking her spear into his chest. It was a little off for it to be a deadly strike, but it made the giant roar in pain. The shield flew back as it ricocheted off the armour and Steve caught it easily. Gor-Tok struck Loki and she smashed into the tunnel wall, shaking everything around them again.

Gor-Tok then pulled out the spear from his body, his deep growl of pain echoing around in the subway. Loki climbed out from under the rubble, her eyes immediately landing on Steve.

‘There you are,’ she said, then she charged at Gor-Tok again without another word.

Steve was no longer hiding, so it was time for him to join the fray. Gor-Tok was mostly focused on Loki, but he did keep Steve on his toes, surprising him with sudden attacks. Steve was fast enough to get out of his way, and Loki was always quick to strike whenever Gor-Tok’s attention shifted away from her.

‘Where’s Bucky?’ Steve couldn’t help but yell at the first chance he got.

‘Sent him out!’ Loki yelled back, dodging one of Gor-Tok’s fists with her forearms.

‘And he listened?’ Steve asked incredulously as he charged at Gor-Tok and kicked him in the back with both feet. Loki grabbed the giant’s gauntlet covered hand, spun him around, and threw him towards the gaping hole next to them. Gor-Tok caught himself on the broken rails and did not fall in.

‘I can be convincing,’ Loki said. Then she ran for her spear as Gor-Tok started to climb back up.

‘Any weaknesses I should know about?’ Steve asked, eyeing their opponent.

‘You should get out of here,’ Loki told him.

‘Yeah, I don’t take orders from you,’ Steve said easily. As far as Steve could tell, Loki had no reason to lie about this, so Bucky was safe. He had to be okay if he got out from here already.

‘Fool,’ Loki said quietly.

Maybe he was, but this guy was obviously not going to stop being a problem unless they deal with him. Retreating from a fight was one thing, but both Bucky and Loki ran from Gor-Tok more than once. Now they tried to avoid him, and he still got in their way. They were at an impasse, strategically speaking, they could either win this fight once and for all, or keep running. They couldn’t afford running from small battles when they were already losing a war. This had to end now.

An orange glow surrounded one of Gor-Tok’s gauntlets and a second later he held an enormous crossbow in his hand. Both Loki and Steve ducked before he lifted his weapon to shoot at them. The bolts had to be more than just mere metal, because Gor-Tok just kept shooting without having to reload. They simply appeared out of thin air, glowing orange rods that turned into metal mid-air. Steve remembered how Bucky’s arm looked like after one of these bolts pierced it. It made him wary and furious at the same time.

Gor-Tok obviously decided that Loki was the greater threat, as he kept shooting at her. This left Steve with more time to search for any weaknesses. The armour covered him completely, but it was probably possible to injure him at the joints where the metal was no doubt thinner. His face was also unprotected... well, if he even had a face. Steve only saw darkness and two glowing orange dots. But no, he yelled in pain when Loki stabbed him with her spear, so it was possible to injure him. The trick was to figure out how.

Loki was quick and dodged the bolts flying at her, sometimes knocking them out of the air with her spear. Steve resolutely did not find this impressive. She also managed to move in the opposite direction as Steve, which in turn made Gor-Tok slowly turn his back on him. Perfect. Steve waited until it would be almost impossible for Gor-Tok to turn around quickly enough, then he let his shield fly, right at the giant’s head. Vibranium collided with the hard metal of the helmet perfectly. There was a resolute clang and the black helmet went flying. The collision threw off the shield’s projectile, so it flew in a different direction than Steve expected, but luckily it didn’t fell in the gaping hole not twenty feet away from them.

Gor-Tok’s head was pale and only a few chunks of long hair hung from his otherwise bald head. Bulging blue veins covered his skull and neck, dark bruises and deep red welts. Loki wasted no time and attacked the huge man while he was still slightly dazed. Gor-Tok easily dodged, getting out of the way again and again. They were coming back towards Steve and he had nothing to fight with but his bare hands. That wouldn’t do, so he ran for his shield.

Then the tunnel started shaking again. The ground moved so violently that Steve lost his balance and fell. He caught himself on his hands, avoiding smashing his head into the ground, but damn. Things were shifting and breaking around them. He heard as pipes snapped and concrete broke, and he really hoped the whole tunnel was not about to collapse on them.

Someone grabbed his forearm and the only reason he didn’t turn around with a punch was that he knew the hand was too small to be Gor-Tok’s.

‘We need to run,’ Loki said. The ground was still shaking and bigger things were starting to fall down from above.

‘What’s going on?’ Steve demanded.

Loki jolted and her expression froze, then she looked down. Steve barely caught sight of the piece of metal sticking out of her when she was yanked back. The chain Gor-Tok was pulling on was still glowing orange so it must’ve materialized the same way his bolts did. In a second he had Loki right up next to him, and he wrapped the chain twice around her neck from behind before she could escape. Then he pulled harshly on it and lifted her up from the ground. Green magic lit up in Loki’s hands and she kept struggling, but Gor-Tok was not letting up.

Steve did not have much time to think. His shield would not do him any good, but Loki’s spear was lying abandoned on the ground almost right next to him. He grabbed it and ran. Loki saw him coming and her green flames grew brighter. Gor-Tok yelled in pain, but he still kept hold of her. She did the only thing she could and twisted to the side as much as possible, giving Steve a slight opening to Gor-Tok’s neck, the one place Steve he could aim at.

The spear sunk in deep spraying blood as dark as ink everywhere. Gor-Tok’s hand loosened around the chain as he reached up to yank it out, so Loki was freed enough to twist around and elbow him in the head. They both fell as Gor-Tok dragged Loki down with him, and they hit the ground with a loud thud. Loki quickly untangled the chain, and with no mind to the bolt still impaling her, she wrapped it around Gor-Tok’s thick neck and pulled.

Gor-Tok started attacking as Loki straddled his chest and yanked on the chain some more, no doubt cutting off his air. Gor-Tok was big and strong, but he only had his fists at his disposal. Loki took the hits, unwavering. There was a ferocious determined look in her eyes. She was not going anywhere until Gor-Tok was dead, Steve was sure of that. But the ground was still shaking and Steve seriously started to worry about getting buried alive here.

Gor-Tok struggled some more. He reached for his dropped crossbow, his fingers inching closer and closer. Loki couldn’t do anything to stop him, but Steve could. Loki’s spear got tossed away, but Steve’s shield was still close enough.

He tried to run as straight as he could, but everything was shaking. He never really experienced earthquakes before and he was ridiculously glad that he did not. The earth was supposed to be solid under his feet, dammit.

He picked up his shield and ran at Gor-Tok and Loki. Again, he did the one thing he could and slammed the shield’s edge down on Gor-Tok’s wrist. The metal gauntlet bent from the first hit and Gor-Tok lashed out, trying to reach Steve, but Loki swiftly yanked him in the other direction. Steve slammed the shield down again, and this time it cut through the metal gauntlet. Gor-Tok clenched his other hand into a fist and slammed it into Loki’s side, but Loki struck back, head butting the struggling man.

‘My spear!’ Loki yelled and Steve ran for it. It was hard to run even a few feet, but Steve managed to keep his balance as he sprinted for the weapon. He barely grabbed the bloody spear and turned back around when he stumbled again from a larger quake. He was close enough though.

‘Catch!’ he yelled and tossed to spear to Loki. She turned, rose to her feet, and let go of the chain to catch it. She struck before Gor-Tok could move. There was a wet crunch, the sound of bone breaking, and Gor-Tok stopped moving.

Shit.

Loki staggered as she stepped down from the body, blood running down her front and back, while the skin on her throat was bruised and swollen. Steve finally took a good look at Gor-Tok’s face, or what was left of it. He was deadly pale, his skin almost see-through, his lips were ink blue just like his blood... Steve was suddenly reminded of the men they found on Hashima Island.

‘Get out... we need to get out,’ Loki said.

‘The bolt,’ Steve said as he got back to his feet and walked closer to her. He was pretty sure that that this bolt was going to be just as difficult to remove as the previous one. But Loki shook her head.

‘No time, we need to go,’ she repeated.

‘But Gor-Tok’s down,’ Steve said.

‘It was never Gor-Tok I was worried about,’ Loki hissed. ‘We need--’

Steve didn’t hear anything, or notice anything, but Loki’s eyes widened and she shoved him to the ground. His breath was knocked out of him, since he did not expect to be pushed. Then he saw pipes flying through the air. That couldn’t be natural. Loki dodged one, two, three, then Steve lost track of what was going on because things were falling down on them, long dead electric cables, supporting beams, pipes, concrete. He had to roll from side to side protect himself.

He was just about to scramble to his feet when warm blood sprayed him in the face. And he recognized the sound; it was something hard piercing flesh. He looked up and saw that one of the pipes stabbed right through Loki, a little above the bolt. That shouldn’t have been possible, it was just steel. Then another pipe flew through the air and it pierced through Loki with a wet crunch.

Something grabbed Steve’s foot. He kicked out in reflex, then he saw that it was an electric cable. Fortunately there were no sparks, but it was still a freakish sight. He quickly reached down to untangle it from his ankle, but there were more coming from all directions. Just as he tore down one a new took its place, and they were starting to drag him towards the hole in the tunnel. No, not towards the hole – he realized after a second – but right underneath the spot where more pipes and beams were bending and twisting unnaturally on the ceiling.

He twisted left then right as some of the pipes fell down and embed into the ground next to him, but he knew he was not going to be able to dodge them all, not with the cables dragging him around like he was a piece of meat. Dammit.

Loki shouted, but Steve could not make out the words. The sound of metal snapping made him look at her again despite his own predicament, and he saw her escaping the chains that once again twisted around her. Then she leaped and landed almost on top of Steve. They both heard the loud crack from above, but there was nowhere to go with everything falling down on them. So Steve just braced himself for the impact.

The metallic screech that filled his ear was one of the worst sounds he could imagine, but the dust filling his lungs was a bigger problem. He tried not to breathe too much, but he had to suck in quick gulps of air. It felt like having asthma again as he started to run out of air. The noise just went on and on and Steve felt vibrations under his back. Maybe it was another earthquake, maybe it was just the shock wave from the collapsing tunnel. Because he knew the tunnel was collapsing, he just knew. His legs were still stuck and the cables were still twisting and moving like metallic snakes. There was nowhere to go.

Bucky was safe, he reminded himself. He got out in time.

Then a minute passed and Steve was not crushed. Something hit him in the head and he felt a little dazed from it, but he was in one piece. In fact, only his legs hurt, of course he couldn’t tell how bad that was. He opened his eyes and found Loki, mostly above him. She was stuck, held in place by the pipes that went straight through her, and by the slithering chain and cables that were still winding around her body, tying her up. Oh, there was so much blood, how did Steve not see that before? There were pipes in the ground everywhere around him, and in Loki, but none got him. He was fine.

Something pressed into his side... Loki’s hand and a knife, or dagger. She didn’t say anything, maybe she couldn’t. She was breathing heavily and her body shook. A human would have been long dead. Steve turned his hand around and took the blade, giving Loki a frown. What was he supposed to…

‘Gor-Tok was useful. I am displeased about this,’ said a female voice. Steve went still. He heard heavy boots, but light casual steps. The shaking stopped and the sudden quiet made every small sound that much louder. How did anyone get in here? The tunnel was blocked now as far as Steve could tell, there was rubble everywhere around them.

‘One would think that you’ve learnt your lesson by now, Trickster,’ the woman said. There was something off about the voice, but Steve couldn’t put a finger on it.

When she finally walked into his line of sight, Steve did not know whether he should be surprised or not. Her clothes were rather simple, no tactical gear, no visible weapons, just civilian clothes. She was tall and blonde, had an athletic build, but otherwise Steve would have not looked twice if he saw her on the street.

She crouched down next to them, but she only looked at Loki.

‘So tell me then, who set you on this foolish journey?’ she asked. Loki tilted her head to stare right back at her, but said nothing.

‘What power were you promised in exchange for all the suffering my believers put you through?’

Loki swallowed, then her lips curled up into a smirk.

‘You’re stuck halfway through… that must be uncomfortable.’

The woman reached out and grabbed Loki’s chin. Steve saw a shadow, something dark moving under her skin. He tried to move his legs to get out, but there was no use, he couldn’t move them an inch.

‘You have done nothing to truly stop me,’ the woman said. ‘Petty meddling, nothing more, you are but a minor annoyance.’

‘Yet here you are, in the flesh,’ Loki smiled with bloody teeth.

‘Who sent you?!’ the woman demanded. ‘Tell me a name! Tell me who dared defy me!’

Loki’s smile widened.

‘If you think you have even a slither of hope…’ the woman hissed.

‘You will fail, and I will laugh as you burn,’ Loki said, still grinning, but it was a strained smile.

The woman let go of her and stood up, walked back out of Steve’s sight.

‘Do not speak,’ Loki told him quietly. ‘Not a word.’

Steve stared at her for a second, then nodded. He did not know who this woman was, but one thing was for sure, she wanted information, so she was not going to get any. Simple as that.

Steve heard a wet crunch and then the woman was walking back to them with Loki’s spear in her hand.

‘A fine weapon, it is wasted on you,’ she said, not crouching down to them this time. She fell quiet and just stared, looking at Loki.

‘Last chance to come to your senses, little giant,’ she said. ‘You cannot win and no matter what you were promised, it will not be worth the agony I will cause you now that I’ve arrived. You’re a creature of magic; I could give you so much.’

Loki laughed. ‘Keep your empty promises... demon.’

The woman stuck, but she did not make it quick. Steve moved to do something, grab the spear maybe, but the woman swiftly put her foot on his neck, pinning him down with more strength than Steve expected. Then she slowly slid the spear through Loki’s throat, dragging the moment out for as long as she could. Steve shut his eyes to keep the blood from getting into it, but he still felt it dripping down on him, and the smell was everywhere. Dammit to hell.

‘ _Zirenaiad_ ,’ the woman whispered angrily. And Steve finally realized what seemed so off about her voice, there was a second voice underneath it. It sounded deeper, masculine even. It was just a faint echo, but Steve still heard it.

It was hard to get air into his lungs with the pressure on his throat, but he did his best to keep his breathing even as he opened his eyes again. Loki stopped breathing after a moment, she went limp and her eyes fell shut. The woman did not pull the spear back out, just propped Loki’s head up with it, like it was some display.

‘Much better,’ she said. ‘Such an annoying thing.’

The woman finally turned to look at him and the pressure eased up on his throat, although the boot remained firmly in place. That shadow Steve saw moving under her skin became much more obvious now that he saw her eyes clearly. Inky blue veins filled up the whites of her eyes, and it made her sharp gaze very unnerving. Steve squared his jaw and said nothing.

‘Ah, no matter,’ the woman said. ‘The dead can be very loquacious if prompted right.’

Okay, Steve was ready to admit it; he was just a little freaked out about this situation he found himself in. He tugged on his leg again, but he was firmly stuck, he couldn’t move. His fingers tightened around the knife and he did his best to keep it out of sight.

The woman, or whatever the hell it was, stared at Loki’s motionless face for one long moment. Then she reached out and cupped her slack face, digging in her nails.

‘Now tell me your secrets, lie-smith,’ she said. ‘ _Niiso gmicalzo das camliax_.’

Some of that dark shade Steve saw underneath her skin started moving and shifting in her hand, then it seeped over into Loki.

‘Come now, show yourself,’ the woman prompted.

There were a few moments where nothing happened and Steve only heard the sound of his own heavy breathing and the blood rushing in his ear. Then Loki’s eyes popped open, but it was most certainly not Loki waking up. The irises were faint, almost white, and Steve could not explain why his breath got stuck in his throat. There was a coldness he felt, then a vacuum of noise, where even the sound of his own breathing faded away. It was an inexplicable presence that made him freeze, made him not want to move, not even blink. It was an instinctual reaction, unnatural and unnerving, because it never happened to Steve before. He never froze.

The woman’s hand on Loki’s face started to wither. First the skin became wrinkly and old, then it turned grey, rotten, and soon it was nothing but skin and bone. Steve assumed the same thing was happening to her entire arm under the green canvas jacket.

‘You,’ she whispered. Her voice was the only thing Steve could hear in the perfect empty silence.

The white eyes staring through Loki shifted to the side and looked at her.

‘Why? Why would you do this?’ the woman demanded, leaning closer. ‘Why interfere? All the souls I will reap on this world... would that not please you? Why? Tell me, why?!’

Steve did see the rot spreading now, the skin wrinkling and dying away on the woman’s neck too, spreading to her face even. Her breathing picked up, her body started shaking. The white eyes kept staring at her, but no answer came.

‘Oh, silence it is... you send one of your pets to stand in my way, but you do not think I deserve to hear your words?! And why the trickster? This liar, deceiver, this wretched thing of chaos and destruction, you take _this thing_ into your good graces? You--’

Then she yanked her hand away with a shout of pain and she finally took a step back, taking her boot off from Steve’s throat. Steve coughed as the pressure vanished.

The white eyes fell shut, and the presence, whatever it was, vanished. Steve immediately breathed a little easier. He could hear again, all the small noises in the tunnel returned, just as the sound of his own breathing. His fingers were so tight around the knife that they started to go numb, so he loosened his grip just a little. He had no idea how it was going to help him, but it was good to have a weapon, even if it was only a knife.

The woman’s hand slowly turned back to normal, the skin was rapidly growing back and all withered flesh returned to her bones. She stared at her hand silently, deep in thought.

‘Your comrade... _friend,_ he’s but a mortal, just a human, he cannot be her servant,’ then she pinned Steve with a sharp look. ‘Who sent him?’

Oh boy. Steve looked back at her, but remained silent. He was sure Loki’s words were not to be taken lightly. He didn’t know what would happen if he said anything, but he was going to take the warning literally. He expected to die, to be honest. He was stuck, Loki was down, and he only had a knife. Seeing as this woman literally just regrew flesh onto her bones, the knife was probably going to be useless.

He was so grateful that Bucky was out, so damn grateful.

‘Silence again,’ the woman said. ‘You anger me.’

He had so many clever quips to say in answer to that, but he resisted the urge. Not a word, he could do that.

The woman walked back to him and lowered herself to one knee. Yeah, she really was angry, that much was clear. Steve was also rather sure that she was about to try and make him talk. His body tensed, bracing itself for what was coming. He kept his eyes on the woman, but he could still see Loki from the corner of his eye, bloodied and limp, strung up with the cables twisted around her body. With all the pipes going through her, it was a nightmarish sight, there was no other way to describe it.

The woman gripped his throat and Steve immediately grabbed her forearm with his free hand in return. Not that he could budge it even an inch, great.

‘You are no one’s servant,’ she said. ‘So why are you here?’

She was not squeezing his throat, so he could’ve said something if he wanted to, but of course he did not. He could see more irritation flashing in her eyes, but it just made him all the more determined to stick to his guns.

She waited one long moment before she spoke again.

‘Fine,’ she said. ‘If you insist on being to no use to me, then I will make you useful.’

She slid her hand slightly lower on his neck, and Steve was blinded by sudden pain, and something... he saw something... he felt something. Thoughts started swirling in his mind, but he did not recognize them as his own. It hurt, god.

‘Who am I?’ the woman asked. Steve bit his lips to keep quiet. He was pulling on the woman’s wrist, trying to move her hand even as his head started to ache, and he felt sharp pins and needles behind his eyes.

‘Who am I?’ the woman asked again and that deep second voice was clearer than before. It was male, still distant, but a voice Steve would not forget. He knew the answer to the question, he knew who this was, he did not know how, but he knew.

He didn’t answer. He said nothing. He swung the knife Loki gave him and buried it in the woman’s chest. She fell back from the impact, letting go of him. Steve sucked in a deep breath and tried to clear his head. He blinked again and again to get his vision to clear. The skin on his throat felt hot and Steve was sure he could smell his own burnt skin despite the scent of blood everywhere. His head kept swaying, making him nauseous.

He heard the woman get up, but he did not turn his head to look at her, because he felt like he was gonna throw up from the smallest movement. The woman groaned in pain and there was a wet squelch as she probably pulled the knife back out. Then sure enough, the blade hit the ground with a clank.

‘You’re my herald for now, soldier, and I am your god,’ she said. ‘So tell your friend all about me, give my message to the one holding his leash,’ Steve’s vision was blurry, but he saw her lean over him. ‘And I let you live, so be thankful for my mercy.’

Then she walked away. Steve heard a few footsteps, three or four, then there was just silence. His head kept swimming, and no matter how many times he blinked things started to get more and more fuzzy. He was not seriously injured, he knew that, he was sure of that. He could figure out how to get out of here... or someone would come... Bucky. He just...

He passed out.

* * *


	35. Chapter 35

The damage in Detroit was severe. They’ve all seen worse, obviously, but it was still not a pretty sight to fly over, and it was going to look even worse in daylight. They had no accurate damage report, they didn’t know how many people were affected. But there were a lot of abandoned buildings in the area, so everyone hoped that the number of casualties would be low. Still, as bad as it looked, normally it wouldn’t have made them fly over. It was Barnes’ call that changed that. This was not just some gas leak or faulty infrastructure. This was very much something they needed to be here for.

They found Barnes on ground zero, police and firemen keeping their distance from him, probably afraid to get close. Tony spotted some phones, so he knew that there would be pictures of him online. And what the pictures would show was a dirty, bloody, frayed looking man with a metal arm, digging into the rabble with his hands. Frantic, maybe even desperate, obviously not really knowing what he was doing.

‘HELEN, try to keep the internet under control,’ he said absently.

‘ _Would you like me to make the sun rise a little sooner as well?_ ’ she asked in return.

‘You know what I mean,’ Tony said. ‘I don’t mind the blurry shots, but try to take down all pictures where his face is visible.’

‘ _I will do my very best_ ,’ she answered.

‘What’s Wilson’s ETA?’ he asked next.

‘ _Approximately 46 minutes_ ,’ HELEN responded after a moment.

Vision, Thor and the twins immediately ran closer to Barnes, but Tony hesitated for a moment when he saw that Natasha stopped after getting out of the Quintjet. He knew that Barnes was at the tower, he knew that Steve wanted to talk to Natasha the next morning, but he didn’t make HELEN tell him what happened. It was hard to read a super-spy’s face, but Tony saw Natasha was uneasy. Clint and Bruce waited for her to get going, Hawkeye even gave her a questioning look, but Natasha just shook her head and started walking closer. Yeah, it was time to figure out what the hell happened here.

Tony was so mad at Steve, so very mad. The way he left without a word, picking up his shield and following Barnes into this shady, secretive business. And not just Barnes, but Loki too. Stupid, so damn stupid. He didn’t blame Vision for not standing in his way, because they all knew there was no stopping Steve Rogers once he made up his mind about something. But Tony was still mad. So he was going to find him, make sure he was fine, then kick his ass... or maybe just make him suffer through a very snarky, very angry lecture. Natasha will kick his ass.

‘Sergeant Barnes,’ Vision said to get Barnes’ attention. The man whipped around to stare at them all. He didn’t notice them approaching and that already said a lot about the current situation. A master assassin should really notice their entire group running up to him.

‘We gotta...’ he started as he climbed through some rubble to get closer to them. ‘I don’t know how to get down, but we need to get down. The tunnel’s collapsed, the sewer’s collapsed, the goddamn building is collapsed, and I can’t get back down! We gotta get back down.’

‘Sergeant Barnes,’ Vision repeated, gripping his right upper arm to get his attention. ‘Your vitals are erratic. I need you to take a breath.’

‘He can’t be in the basement, no way he stayed there,’ Barnes kept going, not really looking at any of them. ‘Maybe he didn’t make it to the subway tunnel.’

‘James,’ Natasha interrupted, loud and stern, making him fall silent and stare at her.

‘One thing at a time,’ Vision said. ‘You need to calm down.’

Barnes took a large breath and shut his eyes for a moment.

‘Where’s Steve?’ Tony asked, trying to get to the point.

‘Underground,’ he said. ‘But I don’t know where, and all the entrances I know are blocked.’

‘Oh, shit,’ Pietro cursed as he looked around the collapsed streets and the huge pile of rubble that used to be a building.

‘But I don’t think he stayed in the basement, not unless someone kept him there,’ Barnes went on. ‘Loki said she’ll get him.’

‘And where is Loki now?’ Thor asked.

‘I don’t know, she went back for Steve!’ Barnes said, raising his voice.

‘Loki?’ Tony asked slightly incredulously. ‘Crazy world-conqueror Loki went back for Steve?’

The look Barnes gave him was either just seriously pissed or downright murderous.

‘Gor-Tok was there,’ Barnes continued. ‘Arcade too, I couldn’t... I couldn’t go back... I should have... shit. I don’t know what happened.’

‘How do you know Loki didn’t just open a portal?’ Wanda asked. ‘Maybe she’s not even down there, maybe neither of them are.’

‘I... I don’t know,’ Barnes said, sounding a little helpless, and still pretty frantic.

‘Either way we need to search for them,’ Thor said. ‘We will find them here, or they will show up on their own.’

‘Okay, so what’s the plan?’ Clint asked.

‘Vision, you can start searching, get underground,’ Tony said.

‘I will have to be careful,’ Vision reminded him. ‘So don’t expect results immediately.’

Then he floated up a few inches from the ground and sank into the pavement, phasing through concrete and earth with ease.

‘This is a big area to cover,’ Bruce pointed it out. ‘Are we sure we can’t narrow the search down?’

‘When did you lost contact with Steve?’ Natasha asked.

‘Right at the start,’ Barnes said. ‘Our radios picked up nothing but static.’

‘HELEN, anything in the air to mess up radios?’ Tony asked.

‘ _Nothing I can detect with the suit’s sensors_ ,’ she said.

‘When was the last time you tried contacting him?’ Wanda asked.

‘I didn’t...’ Barnes said, then went for his belt to get a small radio out. It looked ancient, okay not ancient but at least a few years outdated. Tony made a face even though nobody could see it.

‘Steve?’ Barnes called, a little too loud, a little too breathless. They all waited for a long moment, but there was no answer.

‘At least it’s working. Try and contact him again later,’ Tony said. ‘We might even get a response if we’re lucky.’

‘I believe not all of us can be of much help to our Captain right now,’ Thor said. ‘Vision is already searching. Wanda, Tony and I can try and move things out of the way, make an entrance.’

‘And me,’ Barnes said immediately.

‘And James of course,’ Thor nodded. ‘The rest of you should aid with the rescue of others.’

‘Yeah, might be good for people to see that we’re here for them too,’ Tony agreed. Plus Clint, Natasha, and Pietro were not going to be able to pick up concrete blocks and steel beams, so there was not much they could do for now.

‘I’ll go and see if the paramedics need some extra help,’ Bruce said. ‘I don’t think you’ll need the Big Guy here.’

‘We’ll know where to find you,’ Tony agreed. ‘Wilson will be here soon, fill him in when he gets here.’

Natasha nodded and the four of them headed back to the Quintjet, and towards the local authorities and rescue teams.

‘All right, let’s get to work then,’ Tony said.

* * *

They were all very good at not thinking about worst-case scenarios, focusing on the task at hand without getting caught up in what might’ve already gone wrong. So they didn’t talk about it. They just kept clearing out a spot to get down to the damn subway tunnel.

Barnes though, he was definitely thinking about the worst. He followed Tony’s advice and took out his radio to call Steve frequently, but every time no answer came he got that look on his face; dread. Tony’s experience with the guy was limited, he easily admitted that, but seeing him so obviously frightened still put a new perspective on things. It’s like he didn’t bother hiding anything, so every emotion on his face was clear as day even to Tony. Technically, he knew a lot about him, both Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier, there was a lot of information available for him. But words on a screen, plain facts and reports, would never be able to describe reality. The guy in all the documents and the man in front of him was shockingly different.

They were still no closer to finding Steve when Wilson arrived, so after ten minutes or so he joined the others helping with civilian casualties. He did stare at Barnes for one long moment with a worried tilt of eyebrows, which Tony was absolutely not surprised about. The guy really did look like he was about to snap and start hitting people... or his own head into something.

And Steve... well, they dug up a lot of debris, sure, but it led them nowhere. Vision didn’t find anything either. Tony knew what he meant about having to be careful with his search, phasing through living things was not... advisable, so the android did his best to avoid accidentally doing it. Tony wished he had something to help with the search, something to detect vibranium with maybe, since Cap probably had his shield nearby. He had HELEN make a note of the idea. It would be the best way to search for Steve, unless they put a tracker in his suit, which he was strongly against since the whole SHIELD-Hydra thing. Tony didn’t blame him.

The sound of metal hitting metal made him turn around and he saw that Barnes’ fist bent some metal beam. This is what happened when people got scared, they either ran and hid, or sometimes they got violent. Tony had a feeling that Barnes would be in the latter category.

‘We’ll find him, robocop, so keep it together,’ he said. Yeah, maybe he shouldn’t be the person standing closest to him.

‘I should’ve stayed down,’ Barnes said. ‘I never should’ve left without him. What the fuck was I thinking?’

‘Then we would be searching for you too probably,’ Tony told him. ‘Or not... since nobody would’ve called us.’

‘I didn’t want him to come,’ Barnes said then, staring at the indentation his fist made. ‘I told him no, but he wouldn’t listen.’

‘...You know Cap,’ Tony said after a moment of silence. He was a little uncomfortable hearing the emotions in Barnes’ voice. He was really not the best person to deal with this.

Barnes kept staring at the spot he punched. His metal fingers were twitching. It seemed like an involuntary movement so it caught Tony’s eyes. Barnes could be very-very still, he knew that from the surveillance footage they had of him while he was locked up in the tower.

‘Something happen to your arm?’ he asked. Half our of curiosity, half wanting to distract Barnes from the spiral of guilt and anger he seemed to have been caught up in.

‘I got electrocuted,’ he said.

‘Excuse me?’

‘Arcade,’ Barnes said. ‘He had some drones, and something to shoot electricity with, I don’t know. It knocked me off my feet for a bit, I think some nerves are still healing.’

‘You need a doctor,’ Tony said. There could be nerve damage, muscle damage, goddamn organ damage. He didn’t see any burnt skin, but maybe it was different under all that body armour.

‘I’m fine,’ Barnes said. ‘I heal quickly, the arm’s operational.’

Then he turned back to pull out the beam he was beating on earlier. Tony knew a lost battle when he saw one, so he didn’t try to convince him.

‘You and Cap definitely make a fine, idiotic pair,’ he said. ‘Try him on the radio again. And don’t go losing your shit on me, because I will knock you out if I have to, and then you won’t be there for the glorious rescue.’

Barnes didn’t say anything to that, but he did pull out his radio again.

‘Steve, you there?’ he asked, then waited. ‘You better be all right, I swear, you goddamn--’

‘ _... Bucky--_ ’

‘Steve!’ Barnes basically yelled down the radio. Holy shit, thank god.

‘We’ve got Cap on the radio,’ Tony reported to the rest of the team right away as he hopped over a large piece of concrete to get closer to Barnes.

He heard Steve coughing on the other end, and his voice sounded really messed up when he started talking again.

‘ _Are you okay?_ ’ he asked.

‘Shut the fuck up... are you?!’ Barnes asked in return.

‘ _Things went dark for a while_ ,’ Steve said. ‘ _But I’m in one piece... just stuck. Gor-Tok’s dead… ah dammit._ ’

‘Where are you?’ Barnes asked him.

There was another cough then a grunt, maybe Steve was moving around. Thor landed next to them.

‘ _Subway_ ,’ Steve said. ‘ _There’s... ugh, there’s this gap, never got to the other side of it._ ’

‘I think I know where,’ Barnes said and he immediately straightened up and started running. ‘Keep talking to me.’

‘ _I’m okay, Buck, nothing serious, I promise._ ’

Barnes didn’t look like he believed him, and to be honest, Tony didn’t believe him either. Steve had a bad tendency of downplaying his own injuries.

Barnes ran like a madman, looking at his surroundings, probably trying to find the location without being inside the tunnel. He abruptly stopped after a few moments, then ran across the street and into an alley towards the next street that was mostly caved in. Tony flew up almost right away to follow him in the air, because he hated running in his suit. Thor followed him on the ground though and Tony soon spotted Wanda joining them as well.

Barnes stopped next to the collapsed street, still looking around, but seemingly finding what he was looking for, so Tony landed next to him.

‘It has to be around somewhere,’ he said.

‘Vision can look underground,’ Tony said. ‘Vision, you there?’

The android swooped down from above, landing on the pavement softly.

‘This is a much smaller area,’ he said. ‘We should be able to find him.’

‘ _Is that Vision?_ ’ Stave asked on the radio.

‘Everyone’s here,’ Barnes said. Tony let his faceplate open and leaned a little closer to the radio in Barnes’ hand.

‘And I am slightly insulted you didn’t hear me,’ he told him.

‘ _Of course you are_ ,’ Steve said with a huff, his voice still really hoarse.

‘Sit tight, Cap, you’ll be out in no time,’ Tony said to him.

‘ _Not going anywhere_ ,’ Steve answered.

Vision already phased through the pavement and started searching for him underground.

‘Loki was supposed to find you,’ Barnes said, sounding angry.

‘ _I found her_ ,’ Steve said.

‘Then where the fuck is she?’ Barnes asked. Tony wanted to point out how monumentally stupid it was to trust someone like Loki in the first place, but he actually had a brilliant moment of wisdom and kept his mouth shut instead of commenting.

‘ _Things didn’t go well, Buck,_ ’ Steve said quietly.

Tony didn’t like his tone, Barnes obviously did not either. Thor stepped closer with a frown on his face and opened his mouth to say something, but then he abruptly shut it and stayed silent instead.

‘ _Oh, dear..._ ’ Vision said on the comm.

‘You found him?’ Tony asked in return.

‘ _Yes_ ,’ the android said.

‘ _Hey Vision_ ,’ they heard Steve say on his end. ‘ _What... no, it’s fine, it’s not my blood._ ’

‘Well, that doesn’t sound good,’ Wanda commented.

‘ _Steve is indeed relatively unharmed, I can only see minor injuries_ ,’ Vision reported.

‘ _That’s what I said_ ,’ Steve told them.

‘ _However, things appear to be rather unstable, so it might not be easy to get him out of here without everything collapsing down further._ ’

‘Yeah, it would be a shame to get you crushed just when we found you, Cap,’ Tony said. ‘Can you move at all?’

‘ _No, I’m stuck_ ,’ Steve answered on the radio.

‘ _I don’t think I will be able to move him on my own_ ,’ Vision said. ‘ _I do not want to risk all of this falling down on us_.’

‘All of what?’ Tony asked.

‘ _Things that are sharp and heavy_ ,’ Steve said.

‘ _You should be able to make an entrance a little further away from here_ ,’ Vision said. ‘ _We have about two hundred square feet of space here_.’

‘If we go down at the edge of that area we can hopefully avoid making things fall on you,’ Tony said. ‘Sounds like a plan.’

Vision gave them some exact parameters and Tony was quick to create a makeshift map for himself on his HUD.

‘Thor and I will do the heavy lifting,’ he said. ‘Wanda, you’re our spotter. Anything shifts or moves too quickly, catch it.’

‘Not a problem,’ she said.

‘Barnes, wanna jump down the rabbit hole first?’ Tony asked. ‘If you fit through, Cap will too.’

Barnes nodded, looking determined. Maybe Tony was wrong, but his eyes looked much clearer (and much saner) now that they found Steve and had a plan to get to him. That was reassuring for now, but didn’t say much good about Barnes’ general mental state.

‘Wilson, you hear me?’ Tony called on the comm.

‘ _Loud and clear_ ,’ Falcon said after a second. ‘ _You found him?_ ’

‘Yeah. Vision says he only has minor injuries, but you might want to fly over.’

‘ _On my way,_ ’ Wilson said.

‘Okay, let’s do this then.’

It wasn’t exactly an impossible task and with Vision’s input from down below they were able to move rather quickly. Tony and Thor moved debris and concrete blocks aside, but there was also a lot of hard dirt to get rid of, which was not pleasant to go through. Wanda stood watch, red sparks flaring up at the tip of her fingers every once in a while and her eyes kept glowing, ready to jump in if there was need for her. Barnes and Wilson mostly just kept talking to Steve on the radio. Sam talked for the most part, since Barnes seemed reluctant to relax until he actually saw Steve with his own eyes.

‘Okay, here we go,’ Tony announced. ‘How big is the drop Vision?’

‘ _Only about ten feet_ ,’ the android answered. ‘ _But try climbing instead of jumping maybe_.’

‘Things seem pretty stable up here, but inside might be trickier, especially if we have to move things around to get Cap out,’ Tony said.

‘We should be able to secure the cave better from the inside,’ Thor suggested. ‘Wanda can remain outside.’

‘Won’t you guys be crushed too then?’ Wanda asked.

‘There’s nothing too heavy up here that could cause us serious trouble,’ Tony said. ‘So yeah, I’m with Thor.’

‘ _It seems like the best course of action, yes,_ ’ Vision agreed. Excellent.

‘Ready to jump, Barnes?’ Tony asked. Barnes was of course already moving closer to them to get going.

‘ _No, wait... wait_ ,’ Steve called on the radio.

‘What is it?’ Barnes asked, concern already making him frown again.

‘ _Thor, you there?_ ’ Steve called.

‘Yes, my friend, what is it?’ Thor asked, stepping closer to Barnes and the radio in his hand.

Steve sighed on the other end, and Tony had a bad feeling about that noise. Cap could say so much even without words.

‘ _Look, I’m not going to tell you not to come down, but... I don’t want you to be blind-sided either._ ’

‘What’s wrong?’ Thor asked.

‘ _Things really did turn bad, okay? Bloody... listen, Loki’s here but..._ ’

Thor stared at the radio, then he just marched over to the opening they made, and jumped down. Barnes followed immediately, rushing to get down and Tony had a feeling it was best if he hurried after them. He descended down the hole swiftly, avoiding all the sharp edges of concrete blocks and broken beams.

It was hard not to see it immediately even in the dim light. Tony still turned on everything that gave off light on his suit to illuminate the darkness further. God, there was a lot of blood. All the pipes sticking out of the ground, short and long, thick and thin, and Loki herself... it was like some horrific pincushion. There were things wrapped around her and it took Tony a moment to realize they were cables from the tunnel’s wiring, although he did not know how that was possible. Then there was the spear, going right through her throat and popping her head up a little, keeping her deadly pale face visible for all of them. Tony didn’t care for Loki, he didn’t, but seeing this still made him stop and stare for a long moment. He wondered what sort of sick fuck decided to turn her into some gory-bloody display.

Thor didn’t go closer at first, not even when Barnes ran past him. Barnes stared at Loki for a second, then turned to check up on Steve, who was lying directly under her on the ground. Well, that explained how Cap was not turned into Swiss cheese. Loki took the brunt of whatever the hell happened down here.

Thor finally seemed to snap out of his shock and he ran closer, dropping down to his knees right next to Steve and Loki. And the look on his face, there was disbelief, and shock, and just sharp jagged pain.

‘Oh, shit,’ Tony cursed.

‘ _Tony, can you hear me?_ ’ Natasha called on the comm.

‘Yeah?’ he asked, looking away.

‘ _I see storm clouds, unnatural ones, what the hell is going on?_ ’

‘Loki’s dead,’ Tony told her. She cursed in Russian. The exact meaning escaped Tony, but he understood the sentiment.

‘Loki?’ Thor asked, hesitantly reaching out.

‘This wasn’t Gor-Tok,’ Barnes said.

‘No, it wasn’t,’ Steve confirmed. Tony finally got a good look at him and damn he was covered in blood. No wonder Barnes was checking him for injuries despite Steve’s insistence that he was fine. It was mostly Loki’s blood, Tony figured.

‘No, this… no!’ Thor said, definitely forcing himself to not shout. He finally reached out to touch Loki’s face, but then he pulled his hand away just as quickly. ‘No, don’t do this, you can’t… you can’t do this to me again. Loki… no, not this, not this!’

Now even Tony could hear the rumbling thunder in the distance and he knew that a storm would follow very soon.

‘ _Tony, there’s a lot of people out on the streets_ ,’ Bruce came on the comm. He didn’t say it, but his meaning was clear, Thor needed to get the weather under control. That was easier said than done. Loki was Loki, but they all understood that for Thor that meant something entirely different.

‘Who did this?’ Thor demanded. ‘Who?’

Steve turned his head when thunder cracked up above them, it was so loud they all heard it clearly even down here.

‘Thor, there are a lot of injured people out on the streets,’ Tony said, because he had to remind him of that. ‘Some are still missing, the rescue teams can’t work in a storm.’

Thor squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment and took a few large breaths. It didn’t seem to help and thunder rumbled in the distance again.

‘Thor, listen to me,’ Steve said, but Thor only looked at Loki’s still form when he opened his eyes again, his face twisted up in pain, eyes watery.

‘Thor!’ Steve repeated, grabbing hold of his arm. ‘She’s gonna wake up.’

What?

‘What?’ Thor echoed Tony’s thoughts out loud. She seemed very dead to Tony.

‘It happened before,’ Steve continued. ‘I saw it. She will wake up again. Bucky, tell him.’

Barnes looked between Thor and Steve, then glanced up to Loki.

‘We have to take her down first,’ Barnes said. ‘And it might take longer than usual, but yeah.’

‘Than usual?’ Tony couldn’t help but ask. ‘Last time I checked not even Asgardians can come back from the dead, so what the hell do you mean she will wake up… from this?’

‘Is this a trick then?’ Thor asked, staring at Loki’s face.

‘No, she’s dead,’ Barnes said. ‘But it’s Loki. You can’t _really_ kill Loki.’

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’ Tony asked. Barnes said it so plainly, like it was a fact, common knowledge. Thor frowned, obviously as confused and disbelieving as Tony felt.

‘But… no, that cannot be,’ Thor argued, raising his voice. ‘That is not possible.’

‘Thor, trust me,’ Steve said. ‘I saw it before. I don’t know how, but it happened.’

‘Multiple times,’ Barnes added. ‘Steve and Sam were only there for that one time.’

‘Wilson,’ Tony called on the comm. ‘Did you or did you not see Loki come back to life?’

‘Uhh... yeah, I kinda did,’ Wilson said a little hesitantly. ‘But I know squat about all this mythical-magical stuff, so I have no idea what the hell I saw.’

‘Are you certain of this?’ Thor asked.

‘Loki always says there is no guarantee, but yes, I’m sure,’ Barnes answered seriously.

Well holy shit on a cracker, Tony had no idea what to think of this. He knew that it would just make his brain hurt if he tried to think about it in scientific terms, but he couldn’t help it. His mind kept telling him that it was bullshit, not possible, not even with fancy alien technology. Although, alien technology always meant surprises… fine, so maybe there was some advanced tech involved. Cap shouldn’t have survived so many years in the ice either. But this was very different though, profoundly different.

‘ _It started to rain, you guys okay down there?_ ’ Sam asked on the comm.

‘Thor, we need to get out of here… Cap first,’ Tony said.

‘Yes, you’re right,’ Thor nodded, then looked down at Steve. ‘I’m sorry, my friend.’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Steve said. Trapped in a collapsed subway tunnel, covered in blood, but he still put others first, typical.

‘All right, let me take a better look at everything,’ Tony announced and moved to get behind Steve to find a way to free him from whatever kept him trapped.

He barely moved forward when he finally noticed the giant body lying on the ground.

‘What the hell is that?’

‘That’s Gor-Tok,’ Steve informed him. Tony stared at the huge armour-covered body, the face damaged beyond all recognition, then Cap’s shield, covered in dark blue goop… blood probably.

‘Did you cut his hand off with your shield?’ he asked incredulously.

‘I was improvising,’ Steve said.

‘Every time I think I know you,’ Tony told him.

‘Can we get on with this?’ Barnes barked at him angrily. ‘I think we gotta get Loki down first.’

‘Yeah, you do that,’ Steve nodded. Barnes already got to his feet and reached for one of the pipes to pull it out. His face was all business, like he did this daily. Ugh hell, maybe he did do this several times already.

Thor got to his feet right away as well.

‘Let me… let me help,’ he said.

‘It would be quicker,’ Barnes nodded. He pulled out one of the pipes, which dislodged with a wet squelch, making Tony thankful that he only had coffee in his stomach. Thor reached for the spear first, and he was so damn gentle about it, so careful, that Tony had to look away. The guy was suffering and Tony hated to see that look on his face, especially since Loki was the cause of it… well no, maybe not the cause, just the reason.

Turning away from them meant that he was staring at the huge dead body of this… a prince, was he? He tried to conquer Earth an unimaginable amount of time ago, so good riddance... or something. It was going to be a pain to get him out of here though, because Tony knew they couldn’t just leave a dead alien lying here, who knows who would put their hands on him. Thinking about transporting the body also made it easier to ignore the small sounds behind him. God, there were a lot of pipes they needed to pull out.

‘Okay, now the cables,’ Barnes said.

‘Give me a shout if you need something cut,’ Tony offered. The sooner they got out of here the better. He pulled Steve’s shield out of Gor-Tok’s arm. It was disgusting, but it was still better than how Loki looked right now. Tony was not squeamish just… okay, maybe he was a little squeamish when there was excessive amount of blood and open wounds everywhere, sue him.

‘Let me secure the ceiling,’ Vision said and Tony heard the soft sound of his cape as he lifted up into the air a little. ‘It’s not very stable, we need to hurry.’

‘Ready? You gotta--’

‘Yes, I got it,’ Thor said before Barnes could finish. Then there was a sound of a clinking chain and one final squelch. A beam shifted above them, but Vision kept is secure. Tony looked back around and saw that Thor lowered Loki to the ground, a little bit away from Steve. Then he just stopped and stared down at her for a long moment again while Barnes moved down to Steve’s legs to start freeing him. Tony walked over to him to lend a hand. Vision had the broken ceiling covered, they were fine.

‘How are you doing Cap?’ Tony asked.

‘I want to get the hell out of here,’ Steve answered.

‘Almost done,’ Barnes said as he tore at the cables, snapping them off. Tony wondered how Steve couldn’t get them off sooner, but he was not about to start asking questions here.

‘HELEN, let Maria know that we have a giant alien corpse here that needs to be extracted and transported somewhere… discreet,’ he said instead. ‘I’ll let her handle the details.’

‘ _I already have her on the line_ ,’ HELEN said.

‘This part might collapse further once I let go,’ Vision added.

‘ _I’ll inform Maria that she might need to dig the alien corpse up_ ,’ HELEN answered pleasantly. Oh, Hill was going to be so happy about this.

‘Romanoff,’ Tony called then.

‘ _How are things?_ ’ she asked.

‘Still pretty fucked up,’ Tony answered easily. ‘I think you and Barton should stay behind to secure this dead alien guy until Maria gets here.’

‘ _Sounds like a good idea_ ,’ Natasha agreed. ‘ _The press is taking notice of us. You might want to start thinking about a press conference and an official story._ ’

‘I’ll handle the press later, dodge all questions for now.’

‘ _Clint already has some great nonsense anecdotes lined up,_ ’ Natasha told him.

‘He should tell the one about the dog and the Russian mob,’ Tony smirked.

‘ _I’ll let him know_ ,’ Natasha said. Tony didn’t hear a smile in her tone, but that was not really surprising.

‘Can you stand?’ Barnes asked, which made Tony turn his attention back to them again.

‘Yeah, sure,’ Steve said, already getting up to his feet. Tony couldn’t really see his face with all the blood covering it, but he could’ve sworn he was pale as a sheet. Bad sign.

‘Pietro… you remember how to fly the Quintjet?’

‘ _Hell yes, I do,_ ’ he replied immediately with way too much enthusiasm. He was always so giddy when he was allowed to fly.

‘Bring it around to where we are,’ Tony instructed. ‘HELEN can guide you. We want to avoid people as much as possible.’

He didn’t want a blood-covered Captain America on the front pages.

Thor unclipped his cape and covered Loki with it almost completely. The gentleness of his movements, the way he put that red cape down as if he was tucking someone in for a good night’s sleep… it made Tony hurt for him. God, he didn’t want to see him like this, so he actually hoped that Cap and Barnes were right, and Loki would just get back up, as crazy as that sounded.

Barnes helped Steve to his feet and while he didn’t look all that steady he definitely managed to stay upright on his own. He didn’t protest when Barnes put an arm around his waist though, so maybe he felt weaker than he looked.

Thor hung his manner on his belt, then picked Loki up carefully, still as if she were only asleep. Tony spotted Loki’s bloody spear and picked it up. Powerful unknown weapon, yeah, even less of a good idea to leave it lying around.

‘Vision, you good?’ Tony asked.

‘Just help Steve and Sergeant Barnes out, I’ll keep this steady,’ he said.

They waited underground until Pietro landed, even if Barnes was not happy about it. Tony let him and Steve go up first, which they managed to do with minimal help from Tony. Thor followed them, carrying Loki, and Tony went last. Vision didn’t bother using the opening they made, he just swiftly ascended through the ground. There was a crack and the sound of some screeching metal, so obviously some part of the tunnel collapsed even further.

Wanda was still standing outside the opening, but Wilson already joined Cap and walked with him and Barnes towards the Quintjet.

‘I don’t think it will be that difficult to get back down,’ Vision said as he walked over to him. ‘For the body.’

‘Yeah, we’ll figure something out,’ Tony agreed. ‘Go with Thor and Cap, you too Wanda. Pick up Bruce on the way if he’s fine with leaving.’

‘You’re not coming?’ Wanda asked.

‘No, this mess needs to be cleaned up, and I don’t mean the rubble,’ Tony said. He was sure the police had a lot of questions, the media will have a lot of questions, and even worse, eventually the government will want to know what happened here too. Tony needed to get on top of this before speculations started. He also needed to keep the spotlight on himself while Maria extracted Gor-Tok’s body.

‘Are you certain you don’t want any of us to stay behind?’ Vision asked.

‘Clint and Natasha will be enough,’ Tony reassured him.

‘Well, the press does like you all,’ Wanda said. ‘Good luck.’

‘Thanks, and keep me posted,’ Tony told them.

‘HELEN will notify you of anything important,’ Vision promised, then the two of them walked over to the Quintjet as well.

‘ _See you back in New York_ ,’ Pietro said on the radio.

‘Don’t crash the jet,’ Tony warned. ‘Or I’m gonna cut your pocket money.’

Pietro said something complicated and indignant while the jet lifted up into the air smoothly. Tony had no idea which language it was from the five he frequently used, Romani maybe. Whatever it was it probably made Wanda smile, she always smiled in reaction. And Tony joked, but Pietro was actually good at a lot of things once given the chance to prove it.

He saw Natasha and Clint approaching him, soaked from the rain and looking very unhappy about it. Yeah, it sucked, but he knew the grey skies would follow Thor back to New York. Good news for everyone out on the streets, especially since there were a couple of hours left till sunrise. Of course the rain was hardly their biggest problem.

* * *


	36. Chapter 36

Steve passed out an hour before they arrived back to New York. Or maybe he just fell asleep, Bucky couldn’t tell. He woke him up when they landed and needed to move over to the Avengers’ personal infirmary, and Steve did get up, sort of, but he was not really there. Bucky doubted he would remember any of it. He was out the second he was horizontal again. Bucky didn’t mind, Steve needed rest to heal.

He probably should’ve demanded they take Steve into a hospital instead of flying all the way back to New York to the Tower, but both Wilson and Banner checked him over and he was mostly fine, scrapes and bruises, a strained ankle, probably a concussion, some cracked ribs, and that nasty burn on his throat. It was nothing noteworthy with Steve’s healing factor. And it’s not like Loki needed medical attention. Bucky was mostly healed too, sure the place where one of Arcade’s bullets grazed him was still there, and his arm was still twitching, but he was fine.

Also, the Avengers Tower was a lot safer than some random hospital in Detroit after all.

Thor laid Loki down on a bed similar to the one Steve was sleeping on. It wasn’t really a bed, more like a comfortable examination table, obviously not meant for resting, but it was not like Loki could complain about it right now.

The Avengers soon wandered out, not seeing the point of waiting around for hours when Steve was fine and Loki was most definitely dead. Thor stayed though, he pulled a tall stool up next to the table Loki was laid out on and waited.

Bucky didn’t feel like talking to him, he was fine with the silence and listening to Steve’s breathing. But after a while he couldn’t stand it.

‘You don’t need to keep staring, I told you it would take a while,’ Bucky told him.

‘I’d rather stay, thank you,’ Thor responded.

Bucky sighed. ‘Suit yourself.’

Loki was not going to be happy about it, but it was sure as hell not Bucky’s problem.

‘You said this happened more than once,’ Thor said then.

‘Yeah.’

‘How many times?’ he asked.

‘Why does it matter?’ Bucky asked in return. Thor looked over to him, but he didn’t get angry. Maybe he was tired, even if not physically.

‘I watched Loki die twice,’ he said then. ‘Each time I thought I lost my sibling forever… then both times Loki returned and I… It had to be a trick, there was no other explanation. Not until now.’

‘I have no idea what you want me to say, pal,’ Bucky said.

‘I want to understand,’ Thor said, standing up from his chair. ‘I want to know how this could be true, because it shouldn’t be!’

‘You have your next question for Loki then,’ Bucky told him.

Thor frowned at him.

‘Why do you cling to your silence so?’ Thor asked. ‘Why do you guard Loki’s secrets?’

‘What makes you think I have answers in the first place?’

‘Don’t take me for a fool, James Barnes,’ Thor warned mildly.

‘Don’t assume you have the right for answers,’ Bucky told him in return.

‘I deserve--’

‘The thing is, I don’t know what you will do once you have your answers,’ Bucky said.

‘I’m trying to do what is right.’

‘I don’t know you enough for that to matter to me,’ Bucky shrugged. There was only one person he could accept that from as an answer; Steve.

Thor surprised him by huffing out a tired laugh.

‘Fair enough,’ he said. ‘You’re a very peculiar man.’

‘I’ve been called worse,’ Bucky said and he turned his attention back to Steve, considering the conversation done.

Thor obviously had more to stay because although he sat back down on the chair, he was not as still as before. He kept taking deep breaths and shifting around. He was noisy in that armour, even without the cape.

‘Are you Loki’s friend?’ he asked finally.

Bucky hummed, considering his answer.

‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ he said then. ‘But we’re in this together.’

For some reason Bucky knew that this was not the answer Thor wanted to hear, so he continued.

‘Leah is,’ he said. ‘Loki’s friend, I mean.’

Thor wouldn’t know who she was, but he still didn’t ask anything. He was probably observant enough to realize that Bucky was done talking. Of course, Thor himself was not.

‘You look at me and only see Loki’s brother,’ he said. ‘But I’m also Steve’s friend.’

‘Yeah, everyone seems to be Steve’s friend,’ Bucky couldn’t help but remark. He never had the time to get used to people seeing Steve for who he was. It only started after the serum, when people finally started flocking to him, finally seeing what Bucky knew all along.

Now here they were almost a century later... Steve’s friends, and not even friends like the guys from Brooklyn Bucky sometimes had a few drinks with, real friends, like him and Steve used to be.

‘And if you care for him as much as I think you do,’ Thor continued. ‘You should be concerned about this path he’s following you on.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Bucky snapped, turning back around to glare at Thor.

‘Is that I only see one thing as well; and that’s Loki’s companion,’ Thor answered. ‘Not the friend I heard stories about.’

‘I don’t give a damn what you see when you look at me,’ Bucky told him firmly.

‘Maybe you should,’ Thor said. ‘Because others will see the same. How long can you keep up all the secrets and lies? I know where that road leads, believe me, I do. How long before it ends in tragedy?’

He turned away from Bucky to look down at Loki’s still form again.

‘Maybe it already has,’ he added quietly.

Bucky got it then. ‘Loki will wake up,’ he told him.

‘It’s been so long now,’ Thor argued, shaking his head. ‘And nothing changed.’ He hesitated for a moment, then reached out to take Loki’s hand.

Bucky knew a thing or two about feeling helpless... powerless, but he still had nothing else to say. As far as he remembered, this had never been something he could do, find the right words.

Steve stirred, maybe it was the sound of their voices, or maybe he just rested enough for now, but he was definitely waking up. Bucky put his hand down on the bed to lean over him, making sure Steve knew he was there. The second his eyes opened Bucky knew he was a lot more lucid than before. Steve moved around a little, probably to check if anything was hurting without getting up. He immediately made a face.

‘I should’ve showered,’ he said, his voice still scratchy and hoarse.

Bucky huffed and couldn’t help giving him a smile.

‘Yeah, you should have. Red’s not your colour. How are you feeling?’

‘Little sore, but I’m good. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t heal.’

Bucky decided to believe him this time, but only because he knew Steve’s healing rate perfectly well. Not just from experience, Hydra had files upon files on Steve.

‘Can you stand?’ he asked.

‘I’m fine, Buck,’ Steve said right away, sitting up. ‘Hey Thor.’

‘Are you well, my friend?’ Thor asked. He didn’t stand up to come closer, just turned around on the tall stool.

‘Loki’s still out?’ Steve asked.

‘Yes,’ Thor said sombrely, turning back to look down at her.

‘Is that normal?’ Steve asked as he looked back at Bucky.

‘You think there’s an exact science to this?’ he asked in return. ‘What is ever normal with Loki? Leah would know.’

‘I doubt we can get her,’ Steve said.

‘You should get cleaned up,’ Bucky suggested, changing the subject, and Steve didn’t argue.

* * *

‘Buck, you there?’ Steve asked. And of course he was, standing outside of the small bathroom just a door away from the infirmary. Injuries were messy, it made sense.

‘Yeah,’ he called back.

‘Are you really standing guard outside while I’m taking a shower?’

‘Wouldn’t call it guarding... I’m not armed,’ Bucky responded. ‘Except for the arm... so I guess I am armed.’

‘The first thing I’m gonna do when I’m done is hit you,’ Steve told him. It made Bucky smile, just a little.

‘You should clean up too,’ Steve said then. ‘Don’t think I didn’t see all the dried blood on your body armour.’

‘That’s a shit way to ask me to join you,’ Bucky said. Steve was silent for a moment, probably trying to figure out whether Bucky was joking. His sense of humour used to be more obvious, now it was all dry and twisted.

‘At least get inside,’ he said finally. ‘Why am I shouting through an open bathroom door?’

‘Nobody said you had to shout.’

Bucky turned and got inside, but he didn’t close the door completely. He didn’t want to be caught off-guard if anyone came looking for them. Steve turned off the water and opened the shower door. He was very nonchalant about his nudity or he did a good job of hiding any discomfort as he walked over to the rack to pick up a towel. Bucky couldn’t help but take a good look at him, scanning him for lingering injuries, searching for anything that did not have time to heal yet.

‘The burn is still there,’ he frowned when Steve turned back around towards him. Steve glanced at the mirror on the wall and lifted his chin to take a look at the mark. Now that Bucky could see it without the remnants of Steve’s uniform and all the blood in the way, he saw the shape of five fingers and a palm. He didn’t catch that before. A hand too small to be Gor-Tok’s...

He walked up to Steve to look at it more closely.

‘It looks better,’ Steve said.

‘No, it’s just cleaner, it’s not healing.’

‘Give it time,’ Steve said, but he didn’t sound convinced.

‘Who was it?’ Bucky asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Steve said as he stared at his own reflection and the hand-shaped burn on his throat. ‘Loki recognized her... It was a woman... but not really.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Someone else was there, but we only saw the woman,’ Steve said. ‘Someone... I don’t know.’

He shook his head and finally looked away from the mirror.

‘I guess we’ll have to wait for Loki to wake up,’ he said.

‘Okay,’ Bucky nodded. He was fine with waiting.

‘Plenty of hot water,’ Steve said then.

‘What?’

‘Shower, you should clean up,’ Steve said, nodding towards the cubicle.

‘I’ll do it later, I don’t wanna miss Loki waking up... it can get... violent.’

‘Thor’s there,’ Steve reminded him.

Bucky scoffed. ‘Then even more so.’

Seeing Bucky usually reminded Loki of what was going on, cleared up the haze or whatever. He didn’t want to find out what would happen if only Thor were around.

‘Buck... what’s wrong?’ Steve asked.

‘I’m fine,’ Bucky said right away.

‘You won’t look at me,’ he said.

‘I am looking at you,’ Bucky argued.

‘Not at my face. What is it?’ he asked again.

‘It’s not important,’ Bucky said. ‘I’m just a little twitchy, I’m--’

‘If you say “fine” one more time, I swear,’ Steve interrupted him. ‘Buck, come on...’

Bucky glanced up and held Steve’s gaze for a moment, but then his eyes slid to the side automatically. He couldn’t help it. Even a few seconds made him want to turn and leave, slink away to some place dark, where he actually belonged.

Steve touched the side of his neck, his fingers warm and still a little damp on Bucky’s skin.

‘I’m sorry,’ Bucky blurted out immediately. His voice was quiet, but he felt like the sound of his pumping heart was deafening. He wondered if Steve could hear it.

‘What? What are you sorry for? Hey, I--’

‘I left,’ Bucky continued, the words pouring out of him. ‘I shouldn’t have left. I don’t know why I did that... I never... I never would’ve done that... before. I never would’ve left without you, and now I did! I left without you!’

‘Buck, I’m fine!’

‘I left you behind. How could I do that?’

‘Bucky, look at me.’

Steve’s voice was a little distant, muffled. Bucky remembered what he was thinking down in the tunnel. It seemed like a good plan, because it would’ve taken too long to get past Gor-Tok. But looking back on it now...

He remembered the fire and explosions when Steve rescued him from Hydra, so very long ago. He remembered how exhausted he was, how much he was hurting, remembered the deep ache in all of his limbs. But he refused to leave without Steve, he couldn’t. That man... he couldn’t.

But the man he was now turned and ran, thought it was a good enough strategy, a risk not too great to take. It was a cold and harsh reminder of who he really was... and who he could no longer be. Every time he started to think, to believe that there was actually a chance of going back, even a little...

He startled when Steve pulled him close, wrapped his arms around him.

‘Bucky, listen to me, listen, okay? Please,’ he told him in tone both furious and concerned.

‘I’ll get dirt on you...’ Steve’s skin was still damp and Bucky was covered in dust, dirt, and dried blood.

‘I don’t care!’ Steve cut him off. ‘I’m glad you weren’t there.’

‘What?’

‘I’m so glad you weren’t there, because I would’ve lost you.’

‘You don’t know that.’

‘I do know, she would’ve killed you, like she killed Loki. The only reason I made it out is this goddamn mark on my neck.’

‘What do you mean, what the hell is it?’

‘No, just listen, okay? I’m glad Loki sent you out, and that you listened, because you’re alive.’

‘I should’ve been there,’ Bucky argued.

‘No, no you got out, and called for help.’

‘You almost got killed,’ Bucky said, finally putting his arms around Steve in return, pulling him in close, squeezing him maybe a little too tightly.

‘I didn’t, I’m okay,’ Steve said right away. ‘We’re both okay.’

Bucky couldn’t say anything to that. He just stayed wrapped around Steve and tried to breathe evenly. Steve turned his head and kissed him. Kissed him deep and long, still holding him close and it anchored Bucky back into reality. The world faded back with all it’s colours and sounds. And nothing was as clear and sharp as Steve, his scent, the heat of his skin, miles and miles of skin, and his beating heart, so close to Bucky’s own.

Things always seemed much easier, or sometimes less impossible, with Steve around. But Bucky still couldn’t shake off all of his guilt. There was still a tight knot in his stomach and a weight on his shoulders that wouldn’t go away. And it wasn’t Steve’s fault that not even a quiet moment like this could chase all of his dark thoughts away.

When they parted Steve stayed close to him for a long moment, then drew back with a final kiss to Bucky’s cheek.

‘Take a quick shower,’ he suggested. ‘Then we can go back and wait for Loki to wake up, okay?’

‘Okay,’ Bucky nodded, having no energy to argue with Steve about trivial things like this.

Steve got a little dirty again from Bucky’s body armour, but he just wiped himself off with a damp washcloth, while Bucky undressed and got into the shower. Bucky was too strung out, too much on edge to do more than a quick and efficient clean-up. Steve didn’t comment on it. He was still naked when Bucky got back out, but he got clean clothes out for both of them from one of the many cupboards. Black sweatpants and red t-shirts, which Bucky eyed for a long moment.

‘Tony,’ Steve sighed. ‘Don’t ask, we can grab something from my floor later.’

Sure enough Bucky noticed the Stark Industries logos on the clothes immediately. Stark was probably the one to stock up these bathrooms. Bucky didn’t really care one way or another, he was just not used to wearing bright colours.

Steve plastered himself to his back before he could put on any clothes though. He didn’t do anything just wrapped his arms around Bucky and rested his chin on his shoulder, not caring about Bucky’s still wet hair. And it felt good, but Bucky was confused.

‘Uhm.’

‘What?’ Steve asked, soft and quiet.

‘What are we doing?’ Bucky asked. He felt a little strange just holding a t-shirt in his hand while Steve was wrapped around him from behind like this.

Steve huffed out a small laugh and pressed his head closer to Bucky’s.

‘Hugging, we did it before.’

‘Naked hugging,’ Bucky pointed it out.

‘Yeah, feels good,’ Steve said. ‘I think it’s our thing now.’

‘Our “thing”?’ Bucky repeated.

‘Just go with it,’ Steve told him. Bucky dropped the t-shirt and leaned back into the embrace, which seemed to please Steve to no end.

‘I’m fine, you know,’ Bucky said. It was not entirely true, since he doubted he was ever going to be plain “fine”, but for the moment he was not losing his mind or falling apart, so it was good enough.

‘It just feels good to be close,’ Steve shrugged. He was right about that, so Bucky didn’t argue. In fact, he shouldn’t be questioning it at all. Some of his muscles actually relaxed after a few moments. Just before, when Steve wrapped his arms around him, his grip was strong, almost desperate. This was something else. He wasn’t desperate now. Steve stroked his stomach, calm and idle, but not too soft or too gentle. He wasn’t hesitant about it, so it felt like the most natural thing in the world, to be this close with nothing in-between them. Bucky reached out to entwine their fingers to hold onto him.

‘We’re gonna get through this, Buck,’ Steve said after a long stretch of silence. ‘I know we will.’

Bucky tilted his head back to stare up at the white ceiling. Steve turned his head to bury his face in his neck. The touch of his breath made Bucky shiver and close his eyes.

‘I believe you,’ he said. He would always believe Steve, no matter the odds. Harsh reality no longer mattered, just the promise between them.

* * *

The silence in the infirmary was nothing like the silence was in the bathroom. This was a cold silence filled with fragile hope and shimmering anger. Bucky knew there were still storm clouds outside, there had to be. Steve stood still in the doorway for a second staring at Thor, looking sad. And yeah, Thor made a miserable sight, sitting on that stool with his hammer on the floor and his red cape still draped over Loki’s body. Bucky heard the sound of his deep voice as he entered the room, but only for a moment. Thor noticed that they were approaching and he both fell silent and let go of Loki’s hand. He acted like he was caught doing something he was not supposed to do.

‘How are you feeling, Steve?’ Thor asked.

‘Much better, thanks,’ Steve said as he walked closer. Bucky followed. ‘How are you holding up?’

‘No matter how much I wish to believe you, I look at her and...’ he sighed. ‘You’d think this would not affect me this badly again, yet here I am.’

‘You can’t get used to losing someone, Thor,’ Steve said. ‘So don’t beat yourself up about it.’

‘Easier said than done, like most things when it comes to Loki and I,’ Thor said.

Steve turned back to Bucky.

‘You gotta have some idea how long we have to wait,’ he said. ‘How long before it’s a lost cause?’

Bucky had the urge to sigh, because he had nothing new to say. It wasn’t like he knew Loki’s every little secret, but Thor and Steve sure seemed to think so.

‘ _Steve,_ ’ the AI interrupted.

‘What is it HELEN?’ Steve asked.

‘ _You would probably like to know that Loki’s body temperature has been steadily rising for the past 75 minutes._ ’

Thor immediately reached out for Loki’s hand again, taking it in both of his own.

‘She still feels cold,’ he said.

‘ _60°F, according to my sensors_ ,’ HELEN agreed. ‘ _But before the first jump the body temperature remained exactly at 44.6°._ ’

The room was much warmer than that.

‘Exactly 44.6°?’ Steve asked. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

‘ _Bruce instructed me to not disturb any you unless you asked for me first_ ,’ HELEN said. ‘ _But it seemed silly to remain silent at this point._ ’

Bucky walked around the table Loki was lying on to take a closer look. The wound on her throat still looked bad. Maybe it started to heal, but they would need to clear away the blood to be able to tell for sure. One of the pipes went through her shoulder, right below the collarbone, so Bucky pushed aside the red cape a little to take a look at that one. First on the front, then on her back.

‘What are you doing?’ Steve asked.

‘See if any of the wounds are healing,’ he said. The pipe that stabbed her though here was at least three-four fingers thick, but now the wound only seemed as wide as Bucky’s thumb. That was a good sign at least. He didn’t bother checking for a pulse, because the heart always started beating last, he knew that already.

‘Are the wounds healing?’ Thor asked. He looked like he didn’t think he should check it himself, but he no doubt wanted to know.

‘Yeah, looks like it,’ Bucky said.

‘I cannot believe it,’ Thor said. ‘I cannot believe this to be possible. How?’

‘HELEN, keep monitoring every change,’ Steve instructed.

‘ _I can hardly observe anything important from afar, but if you would attach at least some of the--_ ’

‘No need,’ Bucky cut the AI off. ‘We just have to wait.’

Thor kept frowning, probably annoyed again at Bucky’s half-answers.

‘This has to be powerful magic,’ he said. ‘And something this powerful is always dangerous, or comes at a high price. I’m not sure Loki understands that.’

‘Not really your problem,’ Bucky remarked.

‘It will be, if I have to be the one to clean up after all is said and done,’ Thor answered. ‘Even more so if Loki will be not the only one to pay the price.’

‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, Thor,’ Steve said. ‘Let’s focus on what’s in front of us right now.’

Thor took a large breath and nodded, easily following Steve’s lead. Bucky wasn’t surprised, not even a little.

* * *

The soft glow of light underneath Loki’s skin was a familiar sight by now. And Bucky could say that he expected it to happen again, but he still let out a sigh of relief, because this took way longer than it should have. He kept wondering what the reason for that was, but he could only assume that it was caused by the long hours Loki was stuck down in the subway with no chance to heal.

Thor jumped to his feet at the first faint glow, gripping Loki’s hand again, obviously no longer caring about Bucky and Steve seeing him do it.

‘Bad idea to stay that close,’ Bucky warned. ‘Things can get violent.’

‘I can handle whatever Loki throws at me,’ Thor said. He had a point there, plus what did Bucky care if he ended up getting kicked in the face.

Something was still different though, the light continued to shimmer dimly, not lighting up brightly immediately like it usually did. Bucky really did wish Leah were here, because he had no idea why things were different this time around.

He walked back to the table to stand across from Thor. He didn’t know what he was looking for.

‘Bucky, what is it?’ Steve asked.

‘I don’t know yet,’ he answered.

‘Her skin is warming up,’ Thor said.

‘Yeah, a lot,’ Bucky agreed once he reached out to touch the back of his hand to Loki’s face.

The glow was different. Bucky didn’t notice it at first, when it was dim and barely pulsating, but it became obvious as it grew brighter. The usual golden glow was darker; it glowed orange like cinder. The colour Bucky usually associated with Loki’s magic was gold and green, this was not it.

‘But what--’ Thor started to ask, but what Bucky expected finally happened and the light flared up, bright and blinding.

‘ _Body temperature at 113°F and still getting hotter_ ,’ HELEN reported.

Bucky heard the first gasp of air from Loki and it sounded wet and gravelly. It made him think of pierced lungs, filled with fluid.

‘Loki!’ Thor called, still gripping Loki’s hand in his own, uncaring of the blinding light and the heat of Loki’s skin.

The light dimmed slowly, but the sound of Loki’s breathing stayed, loud panting breaths, a very obvious sign of life.

The face was back to a more masculine shape, but it still looked softer than the one Bucky remembered from before the frost giant thing. The skin was still pale, but that might change later on. The biggest difference was of course the hair; it was red. Not dark blood red like Natasha’s, but a mixture of different shades from brown to orange, like a pile of dried leaves in the fall. Not the strangest appearance for Loki.

‘Loki,’ Thor called again, softer now. He was blinking rapidly, either from the bright light he did not cover his eyes from, or maybe he just simply did not believe his eyes.

Loki’s eyes opened, but they seemed a lot more sluggish than usual, and confused, but that was nothing surprising. And the violent outburst Bucky anticipated never came. Loki opened their mouth a few times, but no words came out, just a few wet coughs. Then they abruptly sat up, still staring at Thor, but almost immediately noticing Bucky as well.

It visibly clicked; they all saw the moment Loki remembered, and Thor let their hand drop before Loki could yank it back.

‘Is your head clear?’ Bucky asked, wanting to make sure.

Loki opened their mouth again, but then they just froze.

‘What?’ Bucky frowned.

Loki coughed again. The sound was not as wet as before, but there were definitely some internal injuries left. Then they opened their mouth again, but only a harsh breath came out. Loki turned and got off from the table, reaching up to the barely healed wound on their throat. Now Bucky could see some of that violent energy he came to expect with Loki’s resurrections.

‘You cannot speak?’ Thor asked.

‘Your voice is gone,’ Bucky said, not a question. ‘Okay… could be worse.’

Loki gave him a glare, and considering the amount of blood that was still covering them, it actually looked threatening. But really, it could be so much worse.

Loki’s eyes were darting from side-to-side, obviously thinking, planning, considering their options. Then they sucked in a harsh breath and turned to stare at Bucky again with slightly widened eyes.

‘What’s wrong?’ Bucky asked. Loki grabbed Bucky’s metal arm and looked really-really frustrated. Right, it was probably hard to explain without words. Loki made a face and a few too-quick angry hand gestures, then gave up on that altogether and made a little spark of magic light up in the air. The flare turned into a little glowing floating shape, symbols.

‘Runes?’ Bucky asked.

‘Leah,’ Thor said, staring at the symbols. Right.

‘What about her?’ Bucky asked.

Loki gestured at their throat, but that didn’t really tell Bucky much. Loki made another angry huff and stepped away from Bucky to point a finger at Steve. Bucky didn’t get it at first, but Steve did.

‘The one who did this,’ Steve said, absently touching the burn on his throat. ‘That woman.’

‘Is she still a threat?’ Thor asked.

‘You think Leah’s in danger?’ Bucky asked. ‘The hideout--’

Loki shook their head and flicked a hand.

‘Gone?’ Thor guessed. ‘Or will be.’

Loki looked annoyed for one second, but then just nodded.

‘You just woke up, you can’t go anywhere, let alone the hideout,’ Bucky said. Loki was always drained after waking up, and opening portals wasn’t an easy feat to begin with.

Loki marched back closer to Bucky and grabbed his left wrist, lifting his hand up, then they tapped a finger on the back of his hand, where that one small rune was carved into the metal.

‘I thought I could only call you with that,’ Bucky asked.

‘With what?’ Steve asked right away.

Loki shook their head and then backed away from Bucky, looking around the room, obviously searching for something. Then they walked over to the closest wall, shoving some tiny cabinet aside.

Bucky, Steve and Thor all walked closer. Loki stared at the wall for a second, then looked around again, searching for something. They obviously did not find it, because the next moment Loki licked a finger and rubbed it on their throat to get some dried blood on it. Oh, right.

‘Ah, come on, there’s gotta be a marker somewhere,’ Steve groaned.

‘ _The grey desk to your left, Steve_ ,’ HELEN offered helpfully. Steve jogged over to the desk to search the drawers in it. Loki didn’t wait for him, just continued to draw a few things on the wall with blood.

Steve found a red marker and gave it to Loki, who took it without glancing back at him. Whatever the hell Loki was drawing, it definitely went a lot quicker with the pen. The rest of them just stood there, watching, waiting. Bucky was a little surprised that Thor was not objecting to letting Loki do whatever they wanted, but maybe what little Bucky told him about Leah was enough to keep him silent on this... for now.

When Loki was done they snapped a finger in Bucky’s general direction, so Bucky walked up close. The circle and the symbols drawn on the wall meant very little to Bucky, but obviously Loki needed him for something.

‘What do you want me to do?’

Loki lifted up their hand to point at the back of it, indicating the rune on Bucky’s metal hand.

‘You’re standing right here, how is that supposed to help?’ Bucky asked.

Loki gave him a glare.

‘Fine,’ Bucky said. It didn’t take much to activate the thing, because it was not really Bucky who needed to do anything. So he just took a breath, thought of Loki, and swiped over the rune on the back of his hand with two fingers. The mark glowed golden, like always, but what happened next was anything but normal.

Bucky took a quick step back when flames flared up around Loki. Not the green flames he was used to see in the previous form. This fire looked real, yellow and orange, filling the air with warmth. The flames flared up by Loki’s feet, but quickly ran up and over their entire body, right to the very tips of their fingers and red hair. Loki slammed a palm over the edge of the drawing on the wall, which lit up in return, first glowing orange like ember, then it turned black like scorch marks.

The whole things lasted three seconds tops.

‘What the hell was that?’ Steve asked.

Loki sucked in a few harsh breaths, leaning on the wall. This seemed like a small thing to Bucky, but it obviously took a toll on Loki this soon after their awakening.

‘Took you long enough,’ said a familiar voice and Bucky spun around. ‘You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had.’

Leah was sitting on a wooden chest, right in the middle of the infirmary. She was reading something on a piece of paper in her hand, looking bored. Bucky’s first thought was that Loki worried for nothing, then Leah lifted her head to take a look at them and she inhaled sharply at the sight. Well, at the sight of Loki.

‘Oh, no,’ was all that came out of her mouth, but her tone said it all; they were in deep shit.

* * *


	37. Chapter 37

‘You!’ Thor interrupted, almost angrily, pointing a finger at Leah.

‘Me,’ she replied calmly.

Steve looked back and forth between the two of them, wondering if he was going to need to intervene here as well.

‘You were in Asgard,’ Thor said.

‘Yes,’ Leah said, finally hopping down from the wooden chest, smoothing out her green dress.

‘You sent someone to spy on me, brother?’ Thor asked, turning back to Loki angrily.

‘I was keeping an eye on you,’ Leah said as she walked closer to the rest of them. ‘It’s hardly a deed worth making such a fuss over.’

‘I think I am better suited to decide that,’ Thor said, but Leah just walked past him to get to Loki, who was still leaning heavily on the wall.

‘Things went far worse than I expected,’ she said with a sigh. Loki was giving her an odd look, so Steve was probably not the only one who didn’t forget about her initial reaction. She did not act any differently now, as far as Steve could tell, but obviously something bothered her about Loki’s new appearance.

‘Are you well, James?’ Leah asked without looking away from Loki.

‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ Bucky responded. Steve really had enough of hearing that word coming out of his mouth, because he kept repeating it, but it was obviously not the case. Steve wanted to drag him up to his floor and tuck him in his bed, or something. Pull him away from all of this, give him time to breathe and calm down.

‘And you, Captain?’

‘I’m okay, Leah, thanks,’ Steve said. He knew Leah was not just some average girl, but he still found it hard to be anything but polite. She was polite herself, which helped.

Loki huffed and reached out to grab one of Leah’s shoulders, trying to communicate without words again, with not much success. Leah followed the gestures with her eyes for a moment or two, then grabbed Loki’s furiously flailing hand.

‘Calm down,’ she said. ‘What is it?’

‘No voice,’ Bucky said plainly. ‘Came with the red hair.’

‘No, that can’t be right,’ Leah frowned. ‘Let me look at you.’

She grabbed Loki’s head with both hands and almost immediately noticed the wound on her neck.

‘How did you die?’ she asked, tilting Loki’s head back a little.

‘She was stabbed through the neck,’ Steve said. ‘With the spear.’

‘Is it part of the new shape?’ Bucky asked.

‘No, it cannot be,’ Leah said as she let go of Loki. ‘But that spear is a powerful weapon, so it might take some time for you to fully recover.’

Loki nodded at her. Steve wasn’t sure if it was relief he saw, or just a calm that settled over Loki, but he would’ve taken serene over manic any day.

‘Where’s the spear?’ Leah asked then.

‘Uh, HELEN?’ Steve asked, because he had no idea. Things went fuzzy after he got into the Quintjet, so he didn’t really keep track of things.

‘ _It’s been locked away_ ,’ HELEN reported. ‘ _Like all weapons and technology you usually bring back to the tower._ ’

‘Maybe it is best if it remains under lock,’ Thor said.

‘I think not,’ Leah protested and raised a hand.

The spear materialized right next to her, slightly glowing and floating in the air. Steve should not have been surprised. Loki reached for the spear but Leah grabbed it first. She stared at it for a moment.

‘Maybe not,’ she said. ‘You were killed with this. That is just asking for trouble.’

Loki’s eyebrows lifted, the question plainly written on her face.

‘I’ll think of something else for you,’ Leah said. The spear cracked in her hand. The noise reminded Steve of shifting ice, so it was not the most pleasant of sounds. Then spider-web cracks appeared all along the spear as it fell to pieces, vanished into nothing.

Bucky looked unfazed, but at least Thor shared Steve’s slight confusion. They just talked about what a powerful weapon it was, and now it was gone, turned to dust in a blink. The more Steve saw of Leah, the more confused he was about her.

‘You said something about the day you’ve had,’ Bucky said then. ‘What happened?’

‘Oh, later,’ Leah sighed.

‘Good,’ Thor said. ‘Time for you all to answer our questions then.’

Steve knew that tone of voice. Thor made up his mind and nothing was going to make him back off. To be fair, Steve still had more questions than answers, so he was not about to start arguing with him.

‘Oh?’ Leah asked. ‘And why is that?

‘Because enough is enough,’ Thor said. ‘All these secrets and lies…’

‘And we’re back to square one,’ Bucky interrupted.

‘I don’t owe you any answers,’ Leah said. ‘None of us owes you any answers.’

‘This threat is far bigger than you let us believe. A city has been struck and we won’t stand idly by,’ Thor countered.

‘If you think shouting demands will get you anywhere...’ Leah continued pleasantly.

‘Since you obviously need our help--’ Thor cut in.

‘Fine, we’re leaving then,’ Leah interrupted in return.

Things were getting out of hand, so Steve interjected.

‘So how did I know who it was?’ he asked, drawing all attention on himself. ‘When this happened,’ he continued, gesturing at the burn on his throat that still felt raw and hot. ‘I saw that woman, but I knew who it really was. It, they, whatever… wanted me to say it.’

‘And you did what?’ Leah asked. She stared at the burn on Steve’s neck for a second, then finally looked at his face.

‘Loki said “not a word”, so I took that warning literally,’ Steve said. ‘Not a word, I stabbed her with the knife you slipped me,’ he added, looking over to Loki.

‘Oh, well done, Captain,’ Leah said after a moment.

‘It didn’t do much good, she just pulled the knife back out.’

‘Not that, keeping your mouth shut,’ Leah said. ‘There would’ve been consequences, so well done.’

Steve nodded, because he suspected as much. He didn’t need to know everything to realize that.

‘There’s more,’ he added. ‘She did something… after you were gone,’ he said still looking at Loki. There was no surprise on Loki’s face, but Steve didn’t expect there to be. ‘The woman… or that thing in her, they did something. You opened your eyes, but it wasn’t you.’

Now there was a flash of something in Loki’s eyes, quickly hidden again.

‘It was something, a presence; I don’t know how to describe it actually.’

‘Try to recall something,’ Leah encouraged.

‘They wanted to know who sent Loki,’ Steve said. ‘So I think that’s who it was. Everything went cold and silent... it was. Something far bigger than the thing in that woman... I don’t know.’

Loki and Leah exchanged a look, incomprehensible to Steve. He looked over to Bucky, who was standing a lot closer to him than a moment before. Steve had a feeling he wanted to walk even closer, maybe plaster himself to Steve’s side. It warmed Steve’s chest.

‘You need to tell us everything,’ Leah said then.

* * *

Steve had just about enough of walking around barefoot in Stark Industries clothes, and he also felt like the infirmary was not the best place to have a calm and reasonable conversation in. His floor was a safe bet, so he insisted going up there. Bucky agreed with him immediately, which probably helped sway Leah, because she nodded almost right away as well. Loki didn’t put up a protest, but Steve had no idea what was going on in her head. His head... maybe. It didn’t feel like the right time to ask.

Thor nodded when Steve looked at him questioningly. Steve understood his frustration, his anger, he really did, so he was all the more grateful for Thor’s calm and his willingness to be reasonable.

Leah was the only one that stopped short after they stepped out of the elevator, looking around curiously, taking everything in. She was so quiet when she walked, so silent, and also small and slender, but her presence was hardly easy to forget about. It was a strange contradiction.

‘Do you have any medical supplies, Captain?’ Leah asked then.

‘Are you injured?’ Steve asked, looking back at her. She looked fine, but maybe she just hid it well.

‘No, I’m quite all right,’ she said, then glanced over at Loki meaningfully.

‘Uh, sure,’ Steve said. He left all of his supplies out in the living room where he patched Bucky up just before they left. Everything was still there, which was a good sign. It meant nobody was up on his floor since then.

He quickly tossed everything back into the box to take it back to Leah. Loki was glaring at everything something awful, especially at Leah.

Leah took the med-kit from Steve.

‘You’re not allowed to give me that look when you’re bleeding on the floor,’ Leah told Loki and started walking.

‘Bath’s that way,’ Steve pointed helpfully. Leah nodded her thanks. Loki stood in one spot for a long moment, then huffed and followed her.

Thor watched them walk away silently, probably wanting to follow, but resisting the urge.

‘I’ll get us some real clothes,’ Steve looked over to Bucky.

He quickly changed in his bedroom, then picked out some clothes that would fit Bucky. He was almost the same size as Steve, so it didn’t really matter that much. He was still thoughtful about it, trying to figure out what Bucky would prefer. No bright colours, he said, so Steve went with greys and blacks.

Steve knew that this was a mess. Not really in his own head, because he still felt like he had a good grip on things. He knew what he needed to do to protect not just Bucky, but everyone from what was coming. Of course he also knew that the others won’t see the danger they were in unless they were given answers. He was ready to talk, get everyone up to speed with all this, but he had no idea how willing Bucky, Loki and Leah were going to be.

He could convince Bucky, it wouldn’t take much for him to see why it was a good plan. Loki was trickier, but Steve had a feeling that it was not an impossible task. Loki could be convinced, especially if Bucky agreed with Steve already. But Leah was such a big question mark. And she had a lot of sway over Loki, for some reason. Steve would’ve loved to know what was going on there, but he had no way of finding that out easily.

When Steve walked back into the main living room Bucky was nowhere to be seen. Thor stood by the tall windows and nodded his head in the bathroom’s direction at Steve’s questioning look.

‘You okay?’ Steve couldn’t help but ask again.

‘I’m... worried, conflicted... angry,’ he sighed. ‘I hope you will be able to explain some of this to me, because right now I have nothing but questions.’

‘Just a minute, okay?’ Steve asked, lifting the clothes in his hand up. Thor nodded and turned to stare out at the city again. It was never good sign when Thor was stoic, it meant that a storm was brewing right under the surface.

Steve walked towards the bathroom, but stopped when he heard Bucky’s voice. He wasn’t sure what made him reluctant to interrupt.

‘You’re usually healed when you wake up,’ Bucky said.

‘This is different,’ Leah said.

‘Was it because he...’ he paused. ‘He?’ he asked, then waited. ‘Okay, “he” then... so it’s cause you were strung up there this long? Or is it because of Mistress Death?’

That... Bucky said that before... it sounded like just an odd expression before, but now...

‘A bit of both, I imagine,’ Leah said.

Steve felt a bit guilty about eavesdropping. His hearing was extraordinarily good, so he was still far away enough from the bathroom to be unheard. It still felt like a violation of trust maybe. Of course some part of him was sure they never would’ve talked this freely in front of Steve.

‘He’s healing, don’t worry,’ Leah said. It sounded like she was smiling. ‘And once you’re well, you’ll be stronger than ever.’

‘ _Steve, if you have a moment_ ,’ HELEN spoke up.

‘Yeah?’ Steve answered, his voice way too loud. They obviously heard him now.

‘ _Sam asked me to give you a warning that he and Vision are coming up to your floor_ ,’ the AI said.

‘Okay, thanks HELEN,’ Steve said as he started walking again. ‘Bucky, you there?’ he asked as he walked closer to the bathroom. He was such a shitty liar, Natasha always told him so, he was so busted.

‘What is it?’ Bucky asked.

‘Uhm, clothes,’ Steve said as he got to the doorway and held out the bundle.

Loki was sitting on the floor, half undressed, bandage around his throat and some parts of his chest. Leah knelt in front of him, obviously the one to patch him up. Bucky stood a few feet away by the wall. He wordlessly walked up to Steve to take the clothes.

‘Look, some of the others are coming up,’ Steve started.

‘We heard,’ Bucky said. His face was kinda unreadable, it made Steve nervous.

‘Right, so I know there are things that are dangerous to talk about, but we need all hands on deck here, you gotta agree with that. Trouble is already here, now it’s up to us to beat it back where it came from, and that would be much easier with more people on-board.’

‘We’ll see,’ Leah said before Bucky could answer.

‘Would you really say no to more help?’ Steve asked.

She finished sticking a bandage to one of the oozing wounds on Loki’s chest, then she looked up at Steve.

‘I’m not sure your friends will be as eager to stand with us as you are,’ she said. ‘But by all means, this might very well be our last battle in this war. We hardly have anything to lose by spilling all our secrets.’

‘You’re serious,’ Bucky said, sounding surprised. ‘You really think it doesn’t matter anymore?’

‘We did all we could to even the odds, James,’ Leah said. ‘And we will soon see whether it was enough. But as the Captain said; the threat is already here, our secrets will no longer protect us.’

That didn’t sound good at all, even if it got him the answer he wanted to hear.

* * *

‘Man, you really scared the crap out of us,’ was what Sam opened with.

‘Sorry,’ Steve said and welcomed the hug he was engulfed in.

‘You good?’ Sam asked when he pulled back, still concerned.

‘Hungry as all hell,’ Steve admitted. ‘But I’ll be fine.’

‘That burn though,’ Sam said with a frown. Of course he immediately noticed.

‘Yeah, it heals slower, don’t worry about it,’ Steve said easily. Sam wasn’t buying it.

‘Right...’

Steve didn’t know what to say, so he just gave him a shrug, which made Sam shake his head.

‘That was real dumb of you, you know,’ Sam said. ‘Running off like that.’

‘Look, I did what I had to do. It could’ve turned out better...’

‘You very well could’ve died,’ Vision told him.

‘Yeah, well,’ Steve sighed, because it was true, but he risked his life for less. ‘This is going to be the craziest thing that ever came out of my mouth, but Loki actually had my back down there.’

‘Seriously?’ Sam asked.

‘From how we found you two, I’m willing to believe that,’ Vision said. ‘No matter how uncharacteristic it sounds.’

‘It is what it is,’ Steve shrugged. ‘All right, sit down, I really need to grab a bite, just a sec.’

Normally, he wouldn’t have wasted time when they had something this important to discuss, but he felt like his vision was going to start going blurry unless he got some energy back. Fights and injuries always took a lot out of him. He was pretty sure Bucky had to be as hungry as he was, so he made a mental note to get some food into him as soon as possible. He had no idea about Loki. Thor ate a lot, but he could also go for a long time without needing anything. Steve felt like he should at least offer.

‘HELEN, I’m gonna need my fridge stocked again,’ he said.

‘ _The usual?_ ’ HELEN asked. Steve was a creature of habit when it came to food, he usually bought or ordered the same things.

‘Yeah, just more. I think my guests might be staying for a while.’

‘ _Rations for a small army coming right up_ ,’ HELEN answered.

It’s not like Steve had time for a full meal just yet, so he grabbed a few power bars, an apple that started to look a little too ripe, a bar of chocolate, and a sports-drink from the fridge. It was hardly enough, but a real food had to wait.

Bucky was back in the living room when Steve walked back in, but he stood pretty far away from Sam, Vision and Thor. Bucky’s been more and more comfortable around Steve, relaxed even, so seeing the hard line of his shoulders and the almost blankness of his face was an unpleasant sight. Steve forgot how dangerous he could look like when he wanted to. He got it though, Bucky needed time to trust people and he didn’t personally know Steve’s fellow Avengers.

Loki strolled back into the room before Steve could say anything, still half-naked, covered in bandages and looking no more pleased about his current situation than before. Leah followed him at a leisurely pace.

‘Well, you certainly are alive... again,’ Vision said. Loki barely spared a glance, just chose a random spot in the room and dropped himself down on the floor, his back to a wall. It was a good spot, he could see the whole room and his back was protected. He was defensive, Steve realized. Maybe because he was still injured, maybe just being around them in general, maybe because of what happened.

‘He can’t talk,’ Bucky informed Vision and Sam, not sounding friendly. Seriously, this was going to end in a disaster if everyone kept being so damn hostile.

‘Right... so, I know about the big alien fella you guys took down,’ Sam said. ‘But he wasn’t the one who wiped the floor with you two, right?’

Loki’s eyes were sharp as he looked up at Sam.

‘No, it wasn’t,’ Steve agreed, mouth still full, so he swallowed quickly. ‘But...’ he looked over at Bucky, then Loki and Leah, who were kinda in the same direction from him. ‘Is it safe to talk about this now...’

‘No wait, he did something, you’re right,’ Bucky said as he walked up to him, pointing a finger at Steve’s neck. ‘This here, what the fuck is this bullshit?’

‘You’re right, we should be cautious,’ Leah agreed. ‘Loki, would you mind?’

Loki huffed again and rolled his eyes as he got up from the floor.

‘It’s going to require a closer look,’ Leah explained as Loki walked up to him. Steve always forgot how tall he was. It’s not that he was that thin, but he had such a different silhouette than Thor, so sometimes it was hard to remember that he was almost as big as his brother.

Steve wasn’t really concerned though, especially not with Bucky standing right next to him. Bucky, who just took one of Steve’s power bars and his chocolate, leaving him with his apple. Steve wanted to complain out of sheer principle, but he was glad Bucky was eating.

‘Okay,’ he said.

‘Close, as in touch,’ Leah added.

‘Fine,’ Steve agreed, tipping his chin back just a little.

‘Whoa, you’re sure about that?’ Sam asked. Both he and Thor took a step closer. Loki looked incredibly amused.

‘Right yeah,’ Steve said. ‘That was the big plan. He’s going to strangle me with all of you standing less than ten feet away from us.’

Leah laughed, and Loki still looked very amused.

‘Now, don’t move, Captain,’ Leah instructed.

‘At all?’ Steve asked.

‘At all,’ Leah confirmed.

‘Not even my toes?’ he asked innocently.

‘Smartass,’ Bucky snorted, then started on the power bar.

‘Why yes, the position of toes is extremely important when it comes to spell-casting,’ Leah answered, sounding completely serious.

‘Right, of course, Magic 101; mind your toes,’ Steve nodded. Loki huffed again, but this time it sounded less like he was about to get murderous. No, it was definitely a funny sort of huff.

Some of the tension broke in the room.

‘You are all horrible people,’ Bucky commented drily as he crumpled the power bar wrapper.

‘Says the guy making puns about his bionic arm,’ Steve told him.

He couldn’t turn his head towards Bucky though, because Loki put his hand over the burn on Steve’s throat. He could joke around, but he didn’t intend to mess with magic, so he stayed still. He resisted the urge to make a face, because it stung, something right under his skin, almost like disinfectant poured on an open wound. He tensed a little and Bucky noticed.

‘What? Does it hurt?’ he asked.

‘Just weird,’ Steve said, keeping still.

Loki pulled his hand away after a moment. The burn still felt hot, but not as burning as before.

‘Huh, it’s better,’ he said, then he noticed the dark fluid covering Loki’s palm, slightly blueish ‘What the hell is that?’

‘Loki?’ Leah asked. Loki help up his hand to show it to her. ‘Oh.’

‘Oh? Oh, what?’ Bucky asked. Loki wiped his palm on his trousers and walked back to his chosen spot.

‘Yeah, that didn’t look healthy,’ Sam said. ‘Was that... inside Steve?’

‘It’s Loki’s blood, mostly,’ Leah said. ‘You had a lot of it on you, I imagine.’

‘Yeah, but... what?’

‘Don’t worry, it protected you... in a way,’ Leah added, but that didn’t make any more sense.

‘Would you mind elaborating?’ Vision asked.

‘Interference,’ Leah said. ‘Like, normally you would sink in water, but if there’s too much salt you will float. You still get wet either way, but you won’t drown.’

‘So I got wet, but I didn’t drown?’ Steve asked, just to make sure he understood correctly. ‘Because of Loki’s blood?’

‘They attempted to weave some magic upon you,’ Thor said. ‘But they did not succeed, not entirely.’

‘Who? Who the hell did this?’ Sam asked.

Steve glanced at Bucky again, but he read no warning on his face, just a shimmer of dark anger that was obviously not directed at Steve. So he said it.

‘Chthon.’

There was a heavy pause. Then Sam lifted his eyebrows and looked back at Thor and Vision.

‘I have no idea who that is,’ he said.

‘I don’t know that name either,’ Thor added.

‘HELEN is already searching for information,’ Vision added. ‘It might take a moment.’

‘I just knew the name... I don’t know how. It was just suddenly there,’ Steve said. He had the urge to rub the burn on his throat, because the whole thing left him strangely uncomfortable.

‘ _Well, I guess it’s lucky I got someone here that knows_ ,’ Tony’s voice came out of nowhere.

Steve sighed. ‘You’ve been listening in this whole time?’ he asked.

‘ _Obviously_ ,’ Tony said through one of the speakers in the room. ‘ _I’ll put a nickel in the violation of privacy jar later._ ’

‘You could’ve just said something,’ Steve told him.

‘ _And interrupt when you finally got the dangerous duo and miss little creepy to talk?_ ’

‘Charming,’ Leah commented.

‘ _If you are not aware of your own creepy vibes, you should be_ ,’ Tony told her.

‘You said you have someone there with you,’ Vision prompted.

‘ _That I do_ ,’ Tony confirmed. ‘ _Guess who came to visit Detroit. Say hi, Doc_.’

‘ _Hello, and I apologize for listening in,_ ’ said another voice. It sounded familiar.

‘Doctor Strange, back in this world?’ Sam asked.

‘ _Yes, but a little too late as it seems. I hoped the situation wouldn’t turn this dire in my absence._ ’

‘Sure, cause you could’ve just stopped this from happening. ‘Bucky said doubtfully.

‘ _I don’t know, I would’ve tried my best,_ ’ Strange said. ‘ _But at least my journey was not in vain. The Whisperer, you were after him, right?_ ’

‘Things didn’t go according to plan,’ Steve told him.

‘ _From the way things look like here, I believe that. The Whisperer however, I made sure he can’t hurt anyone anymore._ ’

‘Finally some good news,’ Leah said.

‘There was a girl, right?’ Steve asked. ‘Is she safe now?’

Strange gave a long sigh and said nothing for a second.

‘ _Casey, yes… Well, “safe” is a very odd term, considering she’s still lying in a grave_ ,’ he said then. ‘ _But yes, I took back what the Whisperer stole. She should be at rest now, as cliché as that sounds._ ’

‘Oh, sorry, my condolences,’ Steve said.

‘ _You said nothing wrong,_ ’ Strange told him. ‘ _Some battles are lost even before they start. Dealing with the Whisperer was nothing but a series of lost fights and tragedies. At least it’s over now._ ’

‘From what we hear a very different battle is about to start,’ Vision spoke up.

‘ _I’m not sure I would call it that different, all things considered_ ,’ Strange said. ‘ _I will return to New York with Mr. Stark. I have much to tell you._ ’

‘I thought it was too risky for you and Steve to meet,’ Sam said.

‘ _Vanitas vanitatum, Mr Wilson_ ,’ Strange said. ‘ _It hardly matters now._ ’

‘This Chthon,’ Thor said. ‘Tell us who that is now.’

Strange paused again, maybe contemplating his answer, or trying to decide how to explain it briefly.

‘ _Chthon is the Great Shadow, a so-called “Elder God”, the first master of magic_.’

‘He’s a demon,’ Leah interrupted. ‘Not a god.’

‘ _True, but I would hardly compare the Demon of the Darkhold to lesser beings._ ’

‘An Elder God,’ Thor repeated. ‘Those I have heard of, heresy mostly.’

‘ _So a demon, just bigger and nastier than the ones we’ve seen so far,_ ’ Tony said.

‘ _No, that is very far from reality,_ ’ Strange said. ‘ _This is a being that has existed for billions of years!_ ’

‘ _Says your crystal ball?_ ’ Tony asked.

Strange sighed again, but this time it was long-suffering and not melancholy.

‘ _I just want you all to understand, that this is not a matter of defeating another demon. This is survival,_ ’ Strange said. ‘ _What happened here in Detroit was just a glimpse. He barely flicked a finger._ ’

‘That is true,’ Leah agreed.

‘ _He’s on his way over here, to our world, and we have very little time to stop him_ ,’ Strange finished.

‘If he’s so immensely powerful, how the hell are we supposed to stop him?’ Sam asked. ‘Thor?’

‘Elder Gods are ethereal beings with vast cosmic powers,’ Thor said. ‘Even the ones that descended into degeneracy. I know of no power that could defeat one, just the God-Eater.’

‘We cannot hope to defeat him,’ Leah said. ‘The one thing we can do is stop him before he can return to this plane of existence from the Other-Realm.’

‘How?’ Steve asked.

‘ _Correct me if I’m wrong, but there is already a plan in motion, right?_ ’ Strange asked.

Almost everyone in the room turned to look at Bucky or Leah or Loki, who didn’t even seem to be paying attention. He was leaning on the wall, staring out of one of the tall windows, looking distracted.

‘Yeah, a plan,’ Bucky said. ‘If you can call it that.’

‘ _That’s somewhat reassuring to hear I suppose_ ,’ Strange said. ‘ _I’ll meet you in New York, then we can discuss things further._ ’

‘ _And he just walked off,_ ’ Tony reported. ‘ _I don’t like this guy._ ’

‘What plans do you have in motion?’ Thor asked, looking at Loki despite knowing very well that he wouldn’t be able to give any answers.

Loki didn’t react, just kept staring out of the window.

‘Loki,’ Thor repeated, slightly louder, but there was still nothing.

‘Loki?’ Leah called, and after a slow moment Loki turned his head back around towards the room. He blinked hazily and Steve wondered if he was more injured still than he looked like.

Then came a swift burst of light, not unlike the golden glow that lit up just before Loki woke. There was a glimpse of real fire, an orange and yellow blaze, then Loki was gone.

He left silence in his wake, and some of them just kept blinking in surprise.

‘I did not know he could do that without those weird portal things,’ Sam said.

‘He couldn’t,’ Bucky confirmed. ‘But he is getting stronger now.’

‘Stronger?’ Thor repeated, his anger spiking. ‘So this is about power then! Of course it’s about power... Where is he?’ he demanded, looking at Leah.

‘ _On the top of the tower_ ,’ HELEN answered.

‘ _What on Earth is he doing up there?_ ’ Tony asked. ‘ _There better not be any space portals opening again._ ’

‘ _Nothing, from what I can see_ ,’ HELEN said.

Leah sighed. ‘Just give him some space.’

‘For a moment I believed it was about something more... something just,’ Thor said. ‘I should’ve known.’

‘You can’t win a war without guns,’ Bucky said easily, but that was obviously the wrong thing to say to Thor right now.

‘I allowed long enough for Loki to come and go freely,’ he continued ‘And am I just supposed to trust, that he has good intentions? That this “power” is something he seeks in good will? No.’

‘ _Yeah, that sounds like a majorly bad idea, if you ask me,_ ’ Tony added.

‘Well, so far--’ Steve started, but Thor cut him off.

‘No,’ Thor interrupted. ‘I trust you when it comes to your friend, so you should trust me when it comes to Loki.’

Right. Steve had to agree that he had a point there.

‘I do not trust these plans,’ Thor continued. ‘I do not trust anything that needs to be obscured by lies and secrets to this extent. And I do not trust Loki with power.’

Thor walked away. Well, he marched with intent really, and not even towards the elevator, but to the stairway. Steve could basically see the dark cloud of anger around his head.

‘ _Okay. Can someone make sure that they don’t trash the entire tower, please?’_ Tony asked.

‘Dammit,’ Steve cursed as he followed Thor.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Vanitas vanitatum_ (lat.) - The “vanity of vanities” as in “all in vain”, an exclamation of utter futility. (From the Vulgate, Eccl. 1:2;12:8)


	38. Chapter 38

Thor’s blood was boiling. His whole day has been a nightmare from the second he laid eyes on Loki’s strung up body. And now he knew he needed to confront his brother again. Because what else was there to do? An Elder God threatened Midgard and Loki was amassing power in the name of a plan only he and his companions were privy of. Thor couldn’t stand by and do nothing. He couldn’t risk it, he couldn’t.

Loki had no way to speak, so maybe he would finally listen for a change.

He found him on the roof, just as HELEN said, seemingly doing nothing but staring out at the city below them. The colour of his hair was even more striking out in the sunlight, and while it was odd, it also seemed strangely fitting. No matter what shape, no matter what changed, Thor could still easily recognize his sibling. All these different appearances still fit Loki perfectly.

Thor didn’t try to be silent, but just in case Loki was distracted he announced his presence. It was an old habit.

‘Loki!’ he called, but the other did not turn around to look at him. It was frustrating. Thor put his hammer down before he walked closer.

‘We were not done talking yet,’ Thor continued. This time he wasn’t even surprised when Loki just kept gazing out at nothing. Thor couldn’t decide whether it was infuriating or worrying… both, it was both.

‘There are too many questions, Loki, and I just don’t think you’d give me answers, even if you could speak,’ Thor said then. ‘But I know that you are playing a dangerous game. This power you chase, this magic that allows you to return even from the clutches of death… I don’t think you realize just how dangerous it is. How easily it could consume you... break you.’

Loki said nothing of course. Thor searched for at least a small indication that his brother was listening, but he couldn’t find one.

‘Or maybe you just do not care,’ Thor said.

He heard a small noise coming from behind them so he glanced back. Steve stood by the door leading to the stairway, but he made no move to approach them.

‘And I wish I could believe that you’d take such a risk in order to defend the Nine Realms from an Elder God, but I know you better than that. There is always something more, something else. So once you have your silvery tongue back, that’s the question I want you to answer. What more is there? Because you are not fighting for Midgard, Loki, I know you’re not.’

Loki tilted his head, still staring out at the city, or at nothing. Thor felt like he was talking at an empty wall.

‘Are you listening to me?’ he asked and reached out to grab Loki’s shoulder to get him to at least look at him. Loki might not have been able to speak, but his eyes sometimes spoke louder than words.

He did not expect the violent reaction, maybe he should have. Loki turned around sharply the moment Thor’s hand touched his skin, and he twisted away from Thor’s touch with a snarl on his lips. There was nothing Thor could do to stop the way that stung some part of him.

Loki turned his head away almost immediately, but this time his gaze was not as distant as before. He reached up to his head with one hand, his fingers twisting in the red locks of his hair. Maybe he was in pain.

‘Or maybe you do begin to realize now what price you will have to pay,’ Thor said to him.

Loki looked back at him at those words and Thor knew right away what the look in his eyes meant.

‘No, I wish no pain or suffering upon you brother,’ he said. ‘I never would.’

Loki’s gaze remained poisonous, and there was fire burning in the depths. It was different than the viscous anger Thor came to know in recent years, but no less dangerous. But it did not discourage Thor from speaking his mind.

‘Some common sense would not go amiss on the other hand.’

This time he did expect Loki to lash out, since he never took kindly to being lectured. So Thor was not caught off guard when his brother went for his throat. It was not truly an attack. Thor knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of Loki’s real anger. He knew how hard he could hit, how fast he was, how ruthless. He knew how sharp and deadly his weapons were, how deep they could cut. This was something born out of pure frustration. It was eerily familiar to Thor, because that was how he usually felt like when dealing with Loki.

It did not mean that he was about to let his brother take his anger out on him. He dodged the first hand going for him and stepped back at the same time. Loki was of course fast as ever and moved after him in the same heartbeat, landing a good solid hit with his knee in Thor’s side. Thor shoved him back, using his height and weight advantage, pushing Loki off balance. His brother side-stepped him and aimed a kick at his knee, which Thor barely managed to dodge.

This was more a scuffle than a battle, like something they used to do as lads in happier days. Their anger was simmering instead of exploding, and Loki’s silence just made it all the worse. Thor felt like he would shout if he could, scream at him like he usually did, throw poisonous words of anger and grief at his head. Now he was silent, and Thor only had the fire of his eyes and the tremble of his hands to go on.

It took him a few minutes to actually grab hold of Loki, because no injury would ever make him any easier to pin down. He could’ve called Mjölnir, but he felt like it would shatter this moment of tame hostility, it would hurl them over the line that separated bruises from blood.

He did manage to grab Loki’s head and neck, to lock their eyes, force them to look at each other face-to-face. Loki’s skin was warm to the touch, almost feverish.

‘Enough! Loki, enough!’ Thor shouted. Loki moved to pull away, get out of his grip.

If there ever was a moment to prove how very injured he was still, this was it. The way his fingers dug into Thor’s forearms wouldn’t even bruise. And he would be spitting mad if he knew Thor tried his best to keep his hold just strong enough, in order to avoid hurting him unnecessarily. He never wished pain upon his brother, it was the truth. He wondered if Loki believed that...

‘I do not know what you truly plan with this power you chase, but you have to realize that it cannot end well. I keep watching you die... How long before you won’t wake up again?’

Loki ceased his attempts to fight or get away for now. Loki never stopped this easily, so it must’ve been his still tired body that gave up on him.

‘How long before you’re gone forever? Do you truly not care? Is it really worth it?’

Thor let go of him now, but Loki made no move to get away again.

‘That’s not for you to decide,’ said Leah, somewhere behind them, too much harsh ice in such a delicate voice.

Thor ignored her or the time being and leaned forward a little to catch Loki’s eyes again.

‘I wish I could swear that I will not allow this,’ he said. ‘But while I can protect others from you, I cannot protect you from yourself.’

He wanted his brother to be able to answer him, put some of the things Thor caught glimpses of on his face into words.

‘I will try, if you’ll let me,’ he added, because he just couldn’t not reach out a hand, even though he knew better.

‘A nice sentiment,’ Leah said.

Loki’s friend maybe, but she unsettled Thor for many reasons. Thor took a deep breath, bracing himself for the words that were about to escape his mouth.

‘Mother believed it was not too late for you,’ he said and watched as Loki’s face went hard as stone. ‘So I will try, for you and for her.’

Loki looked out at the city again, but this time Thor knew he was listening.

‘I’m giving you a choice,’ he continued. ‘When your voice returns and you have your words again, come find me and give me answers.’

He turned around to walk back into the tower, calling Mjölnir into his hand.

‘If you don’t, that will be your answer.’

* * *

Thor wasn’t surprised that Steve followed him back down the stairs, and he was also not surprised that his friend had a few things to say to him.

‘That was not entirely what I expected,’ Steve said.

‘This is a dangerous situation,’ Thor said. ‘And I’m angry, yes, but that doesn’t mean that I will lose sight of the threat that is looming over us.’

‘Well, just from the way you went after him,’ Steve said. ‘Tony was worrying about property damage.’

Thor stopped at a landing to turn back around. He didn’t think there was need to explain that Thor tried to avoid violence when it came to his brother whenever he could, because Steve already knew that.

‘I fear what his long-term plan is, yes, but I believe that he will stand and fight against this Elder God. It’s an enemy of the one Loki made his deal with. On the other hand, that just might be another Elder God, so I do not know what the future holds beyond this fight.’

‘So you’re not worried about him just taking off?’ Steve asked.

‘Not momentarily,’ Thor said as he made his way down again. Steve followed again.

‘And do you think he will give you answers?’ Steve asked.

‘He certainly won’t ever speak a word if I try to force it more than this,’ Thor said. ‘He’s not just stubborn, but incredibly prideful. I could drag him back to Asgard, but he would sooner sit in a dungeon for centuries refusing to utter a word about this than bow to my will.’

‘Yeah, I can easily picture that,’ Steve agreed.

‘I have given him a choice, it’s his turn to answer, and I will act accordingly,’ Thor said.

‘Given him an ultimatum, you mean,’ they were interrupted by Barnes, who was standing on the next landing.

His face was hard when Thor caught sight of him, but his eyes softened the second Steve joined them on the landing. He was not an easy man to understand, but Thor was not one to be discouraged by a few hard looks and angry words. This man had been through much pain and many horrors, lies and deception, it was probably best to be as straightforward and honest with him as possible.

‘Hardly,’ Thor stopped in front of him. ‘I’ve set some terms, yes, but I did not threaten him with repercussions. Some might argue I’ve made a mistake giving Loki even this much of a choice.’

It might’ve not seemed like such a big difference, but Loki would know what it meant, why Thor left things unsaid. Because when it came to Loki it mattered a lot whether he was cornered or left with room to manoeuvre. Thor liked to think that he still knew his brother well enough. And if he was right, Loki would take this chance to present the information in his own terms instead of allowing others and circumstances to speak against him. Of course, Thor could not be entirely sure about anything concerning Loki.

Truth to be told, part of the reason he managed to convince himself to try this approach were these two men standing in front of him. For all Barnes claimed no friendship with Loki, he trusted him enough to fight on his side. And Steve, who was a great leader in battle, a friend of Thor’s, and a good man, seemed to have accepted this trust. Just before he told them Loki defended him in Detroit.

And Thor knew he couldn’t expect miracles, that Loki did not act out of kindness. He knew it did not mean his brother had suddenly found the light and was now hoping to right his wrongs, but it had to mean something! It was like the first flicker of sunlight on a stormy sky, and no matter how angry he was still, no matter how deeply he might be disappointed again, Thor was going to stubbornly hope that it all meant something good.

Well, some part of him hoped. Some part of him would always have hope. But every other corner of his mind was realistic and well prepared for the worst.

‘But the threat was implied, yes,’ Thor admitted easily. ‘Loki knows me well enough.’

Barnes huffed and walked past him to go up to the roof. Steve turned after him immediately.

‘Not leaving,’ Barnes said, looking back at Steve over his shoulder.

‘Yeah, you better not,’ Steve answered.

‘I’ll meet you back on your floor,’ Barnes said as he disappeared up the stairs.

‘This is a fine mess we have here,’ Thor remarked.

‘We’ll sort it out,’ Steve said. ‘We always do.’

‘I know that your trust in your friend is unwavering,’ Thor said. ‘But we must be prepared for it all to go wrong.’

‘I am,’ Steve said right away and he continued before Thor could question him. ‘I know it might be hard to believe with how easily I threw myself into this, but I am.’

‘I believe you,’ Thor said to him, meaning it wholeheartedly. If there was one man he could trust on Midgard to not lose sight of what was truly important, it was their valiant Captain.

So Thor gave him a nod and made his way down again. This time Steve did not follow.

* * *

Thor returned to his floor as he was not in the mood for company. He was also still covered in dust and grime from their search... and blood. He felt tired.

He cleaned up methodically, willing the hot water to cleanse his mind just as it cleaned his body. And most importantly, he did not allow himself to doubt his decision. Being clean and dressed in lighter and softer clothes did nothing to elevate the weight on his heart and Thor wanted to shake his head at himself in the mirror. This day was taking its toll on him. He felt like sleeping, but didn’t even glance at the bed.

‘HELEN, how fares everyone?’ he asked.

‘ _Pietro burnt his hand on the chest left in the infirmary,_ ’ the AI reported. The wooden chest that appeared with Leah. It had to be warded, protected by some magic, or they wouldn’t have left it there so easily.

‘Warn anyone who tries to open it,’ Thor instructed. ‘Is Pietro badly injured?’

‘ _More irritated than injured_ ,’ HELEN said. ‘ _And I will advise everyone against touching that box._ ’

‘Is everyone else all right?’ Thor asked.

‘ _No other harm has been done_ ,’ HELEN said. ‘ _You could even call it peaceful_.’

‘Maybe on the outside,’ Thor commented with a sigh. ‘Call Jane, please.’

‘ _Right away_ ,’ HELEN acknowledged as the TV in the wall came to life, already displaying a photograph of Jane.

The photograph was soon replaced with a room, which Thor recognized as Jane’s temporary office in Pittsburgh, where she was currently needed. It was however Darcy that sat by the computer.

‘ _Hi,_ ’ she greeted. ‘ _I told her you’re calling. She said she’ll be here in a minute_.’

‘She need not come if she’s busy,’ Thor said.

‘ _She’s not that busy_ ,’ Darcy said. ‘ _I’ve been watching the news and you look like crap._ ’

Thor knew what she meant, because it was hard to hide how difficult this day had been.

‘It’s been a long day,’ Thor said with a smile. ‘A good dinner and some sleep will do me wonders.’

‘ _If you say so,_ ’ Darcy shrugged, sounding a little dubious. ‘ _So, did you guys get the asshole who blew up that block in Detroit?_ ’

‘It’s a work in progress,’ Thor told her.

‘ _Just let me know when I need to run for the nearest bunker_ ,’ Darcy said.

‘Not once have you hidden from danger and you will not start now,’ Thor laughed quietly.

‘ _Yeah, I’m fearless like that_ ,’ Darcy answered in a flat tone. ‘ _She’s here._ ’

‘ _These people are ridiculous. Why would I need to prove something I’ve seen with my own two eyes and confirmed with solid theories?_ ’ Jane was saying as she approached. Maybe she was talking on the phone. ‘ _What do they think this is, experimental physics?_ ’

Thor finally saw her on the edge of the screen and she was indeed on the phone.

‘ _I know I’ve been doing experiments Erik, but that doesn’t make my general work any less theoretical._ _Some people_ _just don’t seem to understand that… Fine… Well, since most SHIELD files can still be found online, they can just google it then… Thor’s waiting. I’ll call you back later._ ’

‘ _Sorry,_ ’ she smiled at the camera as Darcy stood up to give her the chair in front of the computer.

‘We all have our battles to fight,’ Thor smiled back.

‘ _I wish I could fight this battle with a blunt object_ ,’ Jane remarked.

‘ _I could arrange something_ ,’ Darcy offered.

‘ _Not yet,_ ’ Jane said after a deep sigh. ‘ _Oh my god, are you okay? I saw what happened in Detroit on the news._ ’

‘I’m fine, thank you, no harm was done to me,’ Thor replied as Darcy waved goodbye to him. Thor waved back and soon she was out of the picture, probably leaving the room too.

‘ _Aham, but something happened_ ,’ Jane concluded.

‘It’s Loki,’ Thor sighed.

‘ _Isn’t it always?_ ’ Jane asked in return, which was fair. ‘ _Tell me_ ,’ she prompted.

‘That would be a long tale,’ Thor said. ‘I don’t want to keep you if you have important matters to attend to.’

‘ _Nothing left for today that cannot wait_ ,’ Jane told him firmly. ‘ _Come on, tell me._ ’

So Thor did, and it really turned out to be a long tale, because he felt like he spoke for hours, even though he knew he did not. Jane listened, mostly silent, but her face gave away a lot of what she was thinking. That tiny frown on her forehead Thor was familiar with appeared quite a few times. Her lips tightened when she forced herself not to interrupt at certain parts. But mostly she just looked at him, solid and kind. It helped so much with Thor’s frayed state of mind.

‘You want to say something,’ Thor said once he was done, because Jane had that look on her face that meant she had a whole flood of words that wanted to burst out.

‘ _I had this friend in Grad School_ ,’ she said. Thor was not surprised at the odd change of topic. He suspected Jane wanted to make a point with a tale of some sort. So he nodded at her to continue.

‘ _She was nice, experimental physicist, she got really excited about her tests all the time, and she was dedicated too. Plus she was always excited to listen to my theories, even when it lapped over to pseudoscience category… well, what used to be pseudoscience._ ’

She fixed her hair as she smiled. The knowledge that her theories were proven to be correct always lit her up. Pride was a good look on her.

‘ _So this friend_ ,’ she continued, her face turning more serious. ‘ _Her Mom was… not okay. She had problems, big ones. My friend supported her, back on undergrad, through her master, and even while she was working on her doctorate. It was her Mom, they were family, and her brother lived on the other side of the country, so she felt like she was the only one who could be there for her._ ’

Jane took a deep breath before she continued, clearly not feeling well about bringing up such unpleasant things.

‘ _Her Mom did things, awful thing. Sometimes just with words, sometimes it was more. Once she slashed my friend’s tires, because she didn’t want to her to come back to school. Other times she just cried and shouted, telling her she was leaving her alone to die. A few times my friend felt so guilty she stayed at home with her. But that didn’t mean her Mom actually stopped._ ’

‘ _And it wasn’t a constant thing either,_ ’ she said then. ‘ _Sometimes she was fine for weeks or months, but then she was back at square one. We always knew when things were bad, because my friend was just so tired, so heartbroken… Her Mom needed help; real help. The sort of help a family member can’t give.’_

‘ _I told her once that it’s not going to stop, that she’s going to be hurt again and again. And until her Mom got help with fixing what was wrong in her head, or got something that helped her manage it, she was never going to stop._ ’

Thor wanted to interrupt, but he knew Jane was not done. There was sadness in her eyes as she looked away. As if she was staring at something in the distance.

‘ _One day she went home to find her dog strangled in the backyard. She didn’t come back to Grad School, stopped answering my calls after a while. I haven’t even seen her since._ ’

‘I’m sorry to hear that.’

‘ _We weren’t that close, but still... Sometimes I think I should have told her that getting away from someone who hurts you does not make you a bad person._ ’

‘I can’t, Jane,’ Thor said.

‘ _Look, I’m not going to try and tell you that it’s hopeless, but I don’t think you can fix whatever is wrong with him. And don’t tell me nothing is wrong with him, if he were human…_ ’

‘Well, he’s not human and neither am I,’ Thor interrupted. ‘I know you mean well... and when Loki was back in Asgard and locked away, I told myself I was done with him. That I won’t ever hope again, that I won’t believe his lies, that I won’t care if he’s…then there he was, standing by my side, just like for centuries before, and it didn’t matter what I told myself. There he was, bleeding in front of me, dying…’

‘ _Well, he didn’t!_ ’ Jane cut in.

‘He did,’ Thor said in return. ‘And if not for this unknown power, this force of nature and Loki’s pact with it, he would’ve been dead for good, gone forever. And I know… I’d deal with the loss, the ache in my heart, I know I could. And I would live on, but a part of me would be gone. Do you understand? I have this part of me that says that Loki and I are meant to fight side-by-side, that one day a battle will be our last, but when we fall, we will fall together.’

Steve would understand. He would look him in the eye and he would know exactly what Thor meant.

‘ _I don’t want you to keep hurting, Thor,_ ’ Jane said. ‘ _I don’t think you should give him the chance, but you just did_.’

‘I can’t just give up!’

Jane took a deep breath and Thor realized he was much too loud.

‘Forgive me. I did not mean to shout,’ he said quietly.

‘ _I just don’t think I can understand_ ,’ Jane said.

‘Even with how deeply everything changed in my life... sometimes I still catch myself turning around to ask something from him... even still I expect him to be there. That feeling will not go away, not after--’

‘ _Centuries, I know,_ ’ Jane said. ‘ _That’s..._ ’

‘It is not easy to fathom,’ Thor agreed. Humans lived short lives, their very nature made it difficult for them to truly understand what it meant to live this long. What it meant to be brothers for a thousand years and then turn into enemies in a matter of days. Their family was ripped apart so suddenly that some days Thor could still hardly believe it.

His Mother’s death was also a heavy weight on his heart, so maybe he was desperate to try and fix something. Desperate to have some of his family back. Maybe Jane was right and this was only going to hurt him, but he had to try. There was no other option. If he gave up just to defend his own heart, he could not forgive himself. His mind would forever be plagued by what could have been.

And if all goes wrong, he would be ready to face the consequences.

‘Tell me of this university,’ Thor said, changing the topic swiftly. Jane was not pleased about it, he could tell, but she allowed it nonetheless. ‘How many witless old fools curse your name by now?’

At least he could still make her smile, because oh that smile, it always turned Thor’s world so much brighter.

They talked until Jane was called away for a meeting and Thor had to bid her farewell. It was a late hour for a meeting, but Thor learnt a long time ago that Midgardian scientists often got caught up in their research and experiments. But he was not concerned about Jane since Darcy always paid attention and made sure she slept and ate enough.

Thor himself was more tired than he would’ve liked, so he quickly made sure through HELEN that Loki was still in the tower and that everyone was safe and unharmed, then he turned in for the night. He wondered whether his mind was going to allow him rest at all with all the worries clouding his thoughts.

Surprisingly enough, he fell asleep rather easily

* * *

He woke to an inexplicable shift in his room. He did not know what it was at first, since it was neither a sound nor a sudden light, just the unmistakable feeling of not being alone. He sat up in his bed quickly and silently, but he did not ask for lights just yet. He looked around and let his eyes adjust to the darkness. It didn’t take long to realize after that.

‘Loki,’ he said quietly, and sure enough, one of the shadows in the room shifted, revealing his brother’s silhouette. Maybe he should’ve been concerned about such an unannounced visit, maybe he should’ve been cautious, but he was neither of those things. He was foolishly hopeful instead.

‘HELEN, a little light please,’ Thor called then and the AI readily turned on some very dim lights. It was just enough to see properly, but not too bright to shatter the peace of darkness.

Loki was alone, no Leah, no Barnes. Thor thought it was a good sign. Loki still didn’t bother with putting on more clothes and the stark whiteness of his bandages almost glowed in the dim light. Loki walked closer and heavily sat down on the very end of Thor’s bed. He was close, but just out of reach.

Loki came to him, so Thor remained silent, waiting for his brother to do... or maybe even say something. The silence was not pleasant, but it could’ve been much much worse, so Thor decided to treasure it like a small victory.

The first sound that came out of Loki’s throat was more like a scratchy gush of air than any actual word, so he cleared his throat and coughed.

‘I’m trying...’ it was hard to hear his faint, breathless words. Thor wondered if it was too soon, maybe he shouldn’t have tried to speak just yet. ‘To re-- write... my story.’

The end was barely audible so Loki tried to clear his throat again. Thor threw his cover aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. The movement put him much closer to Loki.

‘Rewrite your story,’ Thor repeated. ‘Your story is far from finished brother, you have yet to write what is coming. Is that what you mean? You wish to change the path you have taken?’

Was it too foolish to hope? Was it madness to believe it even for a second? It sounded exactly like what Thor would want to hear.

Loki made a face, maybe trying to talk again to no avail.

‘I told you to come speak with me once you had your voice back,’ Thor said. ‘You could’ve waited.’

Loki shook his head and flicked a finger. An orange light sparked up from the tips of his fingers and for a second a glowing hourglass appeared in the air, then it dissolved just as quickly.

‘No time?’ Thor frowned. ‘Why? What is happening?’

Thor knew that danger was afoot, but he did not think it would arrive so quickly. He really thought there would be more time with how calmly Loki, Leah and Barnes acted.

Thor saw another glow of magic, dancing around Loki’s hand. The colour was more strange than anything. No matter how long and hard Thor thought about it, Loki’s magic always used to be gold and white, sometimes with flickers of green. He was certain of this. A sharp bright flash of colour, but a little cold like moonlight on cold nights. This magic was pulsating with warmth, seemed as alive as any flame.

Loki lifted that hand, first he touched the side of his head, then reached out towards Thor. It took a moment for him to understand what the gesture meant.

‘Show me?’ he guessed. Loki nodded. Thor huffed and rubbed his face tiredly. ‘I have more than a hundred reasons to say no,’ he added.

Loki lifted an eyebrow and his lips curled up in amusement. He shrugged a shoulder and left his hand hanging in the air. “Do what you want”; that’s what that shrug meant, Thor knew it very well. The aching familiarity of it hit him unexpectedly.

Maybe he really was desperate, maybe it was to be his downfall all along. He dared not call it bravery.

‘All right, show me,’ he agreed.

Loki didn’t smile or grin, did not seem suspiciously eager to weave his magic either, he was perhaps even a little surprised. Then he scooted just a little closer on the bed to reach Thor’s head.

The light blinded him for one moment, then he felt himself tip over, his muscles loosening without his consent. Then he felt weightless, flying... falling... or maybe like floating in water. The light was followed by darkness, then just as suddenly Thor became aware of his body again.

He was lying on the ground, dust sticking to his face. As he opened his eyes he thought for a moment that he was on Svartalfheim, but the ground was mostly grey and brown, and he soon noticed cracked pavement and a rusty fire hydrant not that far away from where he was lying.

He turned over and sat up, his muscles tingling.

He recognized Midgard, but there was nothing but dust and the ruins of skyscrapers in the distance. Everything was scorched by the sun burning down from an orange sky. He heard a sharp, ear-splitting sound in the distance that he recognized. Then the ground vanished from beneath him and he was falling again. He automatically reached for Mjölnir, but his hammer did not come to him.

He stopped falling abruptly as the world rearranged itself around him. This earth beneath his feet was sizzling with fire and molten rock, and the landscape itself reminded him of Muspelheim... until he saw the burning golden city far on the horizon. Then with a flash, an immense explosion that struck him in the face, he was weightless again.

Everything changed around him, but the worlds whipped by too quickly to recognize any of them. He saw blood, he heard screams, he heard the deep laugh of someone in the distance, he saw colourful lights burning behind his eyes. He felt a power shake him down to his bones, it was ancient, and echo of something from before their time.

Then his throat was grabbed tightly by a slender hand and the worlds stopped whipping by all of a sudden. It was an old man with green eyes and a wicked razor-sharp grin.

‘Nah-ah-ah, peeking is cheating, brother of mine. You don’t belong here,’ his fingers tightened. ‘Who sent you?’

‘Loki?’ he asked in shock, but he was ripped away from the old man, engulfed in darkness again. He saw the vastness of space before his eyes, an endless number of stars and worlds, something like a black hole swallowing up a galaxy, then he was back in his room, kneeling on the floor, breathing heavily.

That was a bit too much to take in at once. He wasn’t sure he understood all of it. His mind felt full, overwhelmed. He would need some time to decipher all that was so forcibly put into his head at once. All the realms...

But no... it was not all in his head, it couldn’t be... that old man.

‘I saw you... Loki... another you,’ Thor said. ‘Older... much older.’

‘I told you not to risk it,’ said a sharp and angry voice. Thor looked up to see Leah in his room now.

‘It was but a vision,’ Thor said.

‘No, it’s never just a vision with him, his hand reaches way too far,’ Leah answered. She was firmly staring at Loki. ‘Now he’ll know... or suspect... that gives us even less time than we had.’

The two of them stared at each other for a long silent moment as Thor sat on the floor, trying to catch his breath.

Then Leah sighed and turned to leave.

‘Fine, you’ll do as you please as always, but don’t say I did not warn you.’

She was gone again as soon as she appeared, swallowed up by the shadows that filled up the dark corners of the bedroom. Thor turned to look back at his brother.

‘He was real,’ he said. Many things confused him about what he just saw, but this one thing he was most certain of. ‘And he was not supposed to appear. Is that right?’

Loki rested his elbows on his knees and let his head hang low for a moment as he stared at the floor, then he nodded.

‘He’s the story you want to rewrite,’ Thor added and Loki nodded again.

Thor rubbed his eyes, but his head did not stop aching.

‘I hope you will be able to talk at length soon,’ he said. ‘Because this... oh, you have still so much to explain about all this.’

‘Soon,’ Loki croaked quietly, his voice like wet gravel.

Normally, Thor would not have settled for a vague promise, but with the imagines still swirling around in his head, he decided that it was good enough for now.

* * *


	39. Chapter 39

Bucky went up to the roof, but not because he was worried. He just needed to know where they were standing, because Chthon was most definitely not supposed to show up. They wanted to stop the Darkholders long before they got this far, but that plan obviously went down the toilet.

‘Whatever Thor offered you, make it work,’ he exclaimed out loud the second he was up on the roof.

Leah turned back around him with a sharp look, but Loki just seemed thoughtful.

‘Don’t give me that look,’ Bucky told her. ‘This is not up for debate. It’s Chthon on the damn doorstep.’

‘I didn’t think they would find anyone who could survive being a host,’ Leah said.

‘Well, they did, because that woman was definitely not a smear on the floor when she gutted Loki and levelled a block in Detroit.’

‘It shouldn’t have been possible, not with a human,’ Leah said. ‘It had to be Amora.’

Bucky just made a questioning sound, so Leah continued.

‘What she did on that island in isolation,’ she explained. ‘Those men you found, we know how they died, how their bodies stopped working, they had their very life force sucked out of them. But there were so many ways that power could’ve been used.’

‘You think they used it to make someone stronger?’ Bucky asked with a frown.

‘Strong enough to host an Elder God, yes,’ Leah said. ‘There is no other way they could’ve succeeded.’

‘Okay, but it’s just a host, not Chthon in the flesh, so we still have a chance,’ Bucky said.

‘We have, yes, but it is not going to be easy,’ Leah said.

‘So I’m telling you again, whatever Thor offered; make it work. We need help.’

‘We did everything…’ Leah started, but Bucky interrupted her.

‘To even the odds, I know, but this is no longer just a theoretical bad scenario. We need to find the Darkholders and stop them, physically, so we need bodies on the field, people who can actually fight demons. So unless you have some super-powered TAC team stashed somewhere, we need the Avengers.’

Leah and Loki shared a look.

‘Or Asgard?’ Bucky asked.

‘No,’ Leah said immediately.

‘So the Avengers. And yeah, Steve’s gonna fight and some of them will probably follow him no matter what, but we don’t know about Strange, or those twins, or the synthezoid. Stark is a huge question mark, let alone the Widow and Barton. We could really use Thor in our corner.’

‘He won’t settle for crumbs,’ Leah said. ‘He knows there is more to this than the threat of Chthon.’

‘Then tell him more, make it work.’

‘You don’t understand. In order for him to truly understand, we would need to pull on some very dangerous threads.’

‘You know what I understand? We have an Elder God knocking on our door, that’s a bit more imminent than whatever is coming in the future, so make it work,’ Bucky repeated.

He looked over to Loki to gauge what he was thinking. He was not protesting angrily, so Bucky had a good feeling about how much he agreed or not. Leah fell silent as well. They were not stupid. They knew why they needed to get this to work in their favour. He turned to leave before he remembered one more thing.

‘And Loki,’ he added, a little less forcefully, and waited until the other turned to look at him. ‘Thank you… for Steve. You said you’d get him out and you did, so…’

Bucky turned to leave again after a moment of awkward silence, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Loki just looked at him, and something in his eyes said that he knew very well what this meant to Bucky. He was clearly not overly touched by it, but he still knew. He squeezed Bucky’s shoulder once, like an acknowledgement, then he let go, turning to look out at the city again.

Bucky backed off and turned around to return to the tower.

* * *

He heard Steve moving around in his kitchen the second he arrived on his floor. Nobody else was around, so obviously they all agreed to wait for Stark to come back before they grilled them for more answers. It was all fine with Bucky, because he was already way past tired of talking.

‘Hey... food,’ Steve said with a small smile when Bucky walked into his kitchen.

Bucky grunted, then remembered himself. ‘Thanks.’

‘There’s plenty stuff in the fridge too,’ Steve continued when Buck sat down to the counter. Steve put out a small feast, with bread, cheese, ham, cereal and milk, but also fruit and power bars, and a whole lot of stuff Bucky wasn’t really sure about. Mostly cold stuff, but that was usually what Bucky ate anyway.

‘There are a few dishes I usually don’t burn,’ Steve offered tentatively.

‘This is fine,’ Bucky shook his head.

‘I kinda feel like I should offer… you know, to Loki and Leah, but…’

‘He’s a spoiled asshole, but he can feed himself, relax,’ Bucky said. ‘Just leave some stuff out that won’t go bad, he’ll figure it out.’

‘Hey, it’s not about being polite,’ Steve protested. ‘I wouldn’t let a prisoner go without regular meals, let alone… a guest, I suppose.’

Bucky huffed and shook his head.

‘You’re really somethin’, you know that?’ he asked.

‘Shut up and eat,’ Steve grumbled. Bucky didn’t argue, since he was plenty hungry.

Steve kept moving around in the kitchen, but he was not really doing anything, and after a few minutes it started to irritate Bucky, because it felt like he was being watched. Like Steve pretended to be busy just to keep an eye on him. He’s been drying the same three mugs for two minutes. But it was Steve, so even if he only stayed for Bucky’s sake, it wasn’t to guard him. But his instincts were not that easy to convince with logic sometimes. He tensed and couldn’t help but watch out for every small movement and sound. It was a sure-fire way to lose his appetite.

He didn’t say anything though, because it was not Steve’s problem to deal with.

‘You done?’ Steve asked when Bucky stood up from the counter.

‘Yeah.’

‘You sure?’

‘You think you know better than me?’ he asked in return. Some of his defensiveness slipped into his voice unintentionally.

‘No, I just,’ he thought better of it and shrugged it off. ‘Nothing, sorry.’

The silence that followed was slightly tense and Bucky couldn’t help but sigh.

‘Do you… want to go to sleep now?’ Steve asked.

‘Yeah,’ Bucky said quietly. Sleep sounded good. Well, sleep always sounded good, but he couldn’t always have it. It was a gamble every single night. He wondered whether his mind would give him a break tonight or parade an endless loop of blood and screams instead.

‘I don’t want to presume,’ Steve said. ‘But you okay sleeping with me again? I mean, sleeping in my bed... when I’m in my bed too.’

‘You’re the one who declared that naked hugging was our thing, but you don’t think I wanna sleep in the same bed?’ Bucky asked, slightly amused.

‘Seemed like a good idea to double check,’ Steve shrugged, looking at the dry dish towel in his hand. ‘Just to make sure.’

Bucky’s initial thought was that this was a pointless question, a redundant conversation. Then he recognized it for what it was.

‘Yes, Steve, I’m okay sleeping in your bed with you,’ he said.

‘Okay,’ Steve nodded at him, several times in fact. Then he rubbed the back of his neck and pointed a finger in his bedroom’s direction. ‘I’m just gonna--’

Then he walked away. Bucky’s chest felt incredibly warm as he watched him go. He huffed and his lips curled up into a smile. He felt lighter. It was stupid, it was nothing... but it was also Steve, saying the right things at the right time effortlessly.

Bucky went after him.

Steve was moving around in his bedroom, pulling new sheets and covers out of a wardrobe. He heard Bucky approaching so he turned to face him.

‘Hey,’ he said. ‘I don’t even remember when I last changed my bedsheets here,’ he said. ‘Not having to worry about dust in my lungs made me so untidy.’

Bucky glanced around in the downright pristine room, but didn’t comment.

‘Leave it, I don’t give a damn about the sheets,’ Bucky said as he walked further into the room after clicking the door shut. He pulled the handful of covers out of Steve’s hands and shoved them back into the wardrobe. Steve looked at the crumpled mess a little dubiously, but his eyes returned to Bucky almost right away.

Steve had a thing about being tidy and keeping everything in order, but as far as Bucky remembered only when he was worried about things he had no control over.

‘We slept in worse places,’ Bucky added.

‘Yeah, but just cause you’re used to something, doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it,’ Steve said. ‘Why not be comfortable if you have the chance?’

‘That bed looks plenty comfortable to me already,’ Bucky said.

‘Maybe even too comfortable,’ Steve said. ‘This mattress is already harder than the one I originally had in here. That was ridiculous, I’m not even kidding.’

‘I don’t know, it might be good to try someday. I never had the chance to lie on one of those water beds either.’

‘It sounds awful,’ Steve declared immediately.

‘Well, I’m not sure you’re supposed to use it for sleeping,’ Bucky added.

‘That sounds even worse,’ Steve said. ‘Just how are you supposed to stay steady or move around?’

‘Hell if I know,’ Bucky huffed. ‘But you gotta try everything once, otherwise what’s the point?’

Steve gave him a smile as he ducked his head for a moment.

‘You’re not the first one to tell me that,’ he admitted.

‘Yeah, I can picture your miserable face surrounded with sad boring minimalist stuff even though you actually have money to spend.’

‘My apartment’s not boring,’ Steve protested.

‘It’s pretty boring,’ Bucky insisted.

‘You’re one to talk, with your tiny room in the hideout,’ Steve said.

‘It’s a hideout, not a home,’ Bucky shrugged.

‘Well, Washington’s not home either,’ Steve sighed. ‘I just couldn’t bring myself to come back to New York again.’

Bucky fell silent at that. Steve looked sad and Bucky hated seeing him sad.

‘I wanna kiss you, that okay?’ he asked.

Steve looked up at him and that distant sad look vanished from his eyes.

‘Yeah,’ he said.

‘Didn’t want to presume,’ Bucky said with a small smirk as he leaned in. Steve smiled into the kiss, moving closer to grab hold of Bucky’s waist. Bucky put his arms around him as well, left hand on his lower back, the right one on his neck, just below his jaw.

He was kissing Steve and the world felt all okay again.

It was both warmly comforting and exhilaratingly new and exciting. Bucky was absolutely certain that it was never going to stop feeling like this. He would always wonder at the fact that they got to have this. Things shifted and changed between them since the old days irrevocably, but they realigned again in this new world without problem. They fitted together, and it didn’t matter if they were shoulder-to-shoulder or lip-to-lip.

And the way Steve kissed; oh he felt the same way. He made a small noise as he moved closer to Bucky, his mouth insistent, excited. So Bucky kissed him back just as deeply, tightened the metal arm around Steve’s waist until they were as close as they could get. Steve made another noise, a deep rumbling sound in his chest. Bucky quickly decided that he liked that sound, especially if he was the reason for it.

They parted for a bit to breathe, but Steve kept leaving small kisses on his lips, inviting, encouraging, maybe even a little demanding. It made Bucky smile. He couldn’t explain why exactly he liked it that much, he just did. He pushed forward in answer to the gentle invitation, opening his mouth for a much deeper, dirtier kiss. Who was he to deny Steve Rogers after all? He wanted to be kissed, so Bucky was going to kiss him breathless. And yes, Steve liked it, he kept pulling at Bucky, keeping him close. He also kept roaming his hands on Bucky, either he didn’t know what to do with them, or he wanted to touch him everywhere at once.

It didn’t matter which one it was, it made Bucky smile either way. Steve noticed this time and he pulled away a bit.

‘I’m... kinda bad at this, aren’t I?’ he asked.

Bucky shook his head and pulled him back close. ‘Not at all.’

They kissed again, but Steve lost some of his spark, Bucky could feel it. He was probably thinking too much.

‘Steve,’ Bucky murmured, their lips still almost pressed together. ‘I’m good, if you’re good.’

‘I am, I just...’ he trailed off.

‘Look, if you wanna sleep, we’ll sleep,’ Bucky said putting it in simple terms. There was no point beating around the bush. ‘If you wanna do something more, you won’t hear me complaining.’

‘Well, I’d definitely like a bit more enthusiasm than just “not complaining”,’ Steve said pointedly.

Bucky leaned forward and bit his lower lip gently. ‘I am very... very enthusiastic here, Steve.’

He kissed the corner of Steve’s mouth then dragged his lips down the line of his jaw until he reached his neck. Steve sucked in a loud breath of air when Bucky’s mouth opened to leave a wet kiss on Steve’s skin. Bucky loved how he reacted, there was nothing subdued about him, nothing controlled. It made Bucky want to hear all the noises he could make. It would be something new, something he never heard before, something the man he used to be before his fall never got to have.

They moved over to the bed as Bucky left kisses on Steve’s neck, avoiding the faint hand-shaped burnt. Steve even closed his eyes and tipped his head back, letting Bucky move him around without the slightest hesitation. He also went willingly when Bucky pushed him down on the bed. He looked good, even if the bed underneath him looked ridiculously neat.

Bucky climbed on top of him, and maybe it looked a little predatory, but he could hardly look sweet and innocent nowadays. Steve seemed to like the view, so there was no point being worried about nothing.

‘So... you wanna do this?’ Bucky asked. They did a few things in stolen moments, but they never actually went further than what they did in Steve’s bathroom not that long ago. There wasn’t any time, and they weren’t going out of their way to find time, since they had more important shit to think about than their dicks.

‘Yeah,’ Steve nodded, reaching out towards Bucky. ‘I want to.’

Bucky gave him a smile, the best sort of smile he was capable of giving without it looking fake or twisted.

‘So, you’ve got stuff somewhere around here?’ Bucky asked.

‘Uhm,’ Steve said, looking away with a thoughtful look on his face and a tiny blush just on the very top of his cheeks. ‘Yeah, hold on.’

Well, it was good answer at least, so Bucky rolled over to let Steve get up. He didn’t go for the door, just towards the chest of drawers that was by the wall across from the bed. Bucky sat up to shrug his t-shirt off, then lied back down on the bed. He even let himself sprawl a little. He was relaxed, the tower was safe, Steve was here, so it was relatively easy to allow his limbs to go limp. Steve saw him without his shirt already, so the mess of scars where metal met flesh wasn’t going to be a surprise for him. He won’t care, not about the scars, not about the still healing scrapes and bruises.

When Steve turned back around he stopped for a moment, just taking in the sight. Bucky felt proud of that.

‘Oh...’ Steve said, a little breathless.

‘Yeah?’ Bucky asked.

‘Yeah,’ Steve said, still just staring.

‘Come here then,’ Bucky prompted.

Steve was a lot less predatory when he climbed back on the bed, even with his height. He put the things he brought out of the drawer next to the pillow.

‘So, did you ever do this with a guy?’ Steve asked.

‘I’m not sure,’ Bucky answered honestly. He slipped his arms around Steve’s waist and pulled him closer until he was sitting completely on the bed, right next to Bucky. Steve seemed pretty amused about being dragged around. Not many people would’ve been able to do it to be fair.

‘You’re not sure?’ Steve asked. He put his hand down on the bed on Bucky’s other side, leaning over him. He made quite a sight.

‘It’s hard to tell dream from memory when your head’s as messed up as mine.’

Steve leaned down to give him a peck on the lips. He then pressed their foreheads together in silent comfort.

‘And you?’ Bucky asked in return.

‘Nah,’ Steve huffed.

‘Well ain’t that just a recipe for disaster,’ Bucky commented drily.

‘We’re good, Buck, don’t worry about it,’ Steve smiled. ‘We’ll do what feels okay, that’s it. Plus, I know how this goes...’

‘Oh, really?’

‘Internet,’ Steve shrugged.

‘Look at you, the modern man,’ Bucky smirked as he pulled him down for another kiss. ‘But overdressed,’ he murmured into it after a moment.

‘Sorry, sorry,’ Steve whispered in return. He quickly got rid of his own t-shirt then he was back to kissing Bucky immediately. Eager, hungry, it made Bucky cling to him.

It was so easy, the way they touched, the way they moved together. But with their naked chests pressing together it didn’t take long for the lightness of the moment to be replaced with something heated.

Bucky let his fingers dig into Steve’s back and Steve reacted with a moan. God, that sound, it was something out of the wettest of dreams. Steve’s deep voice vibrated in his chest, and with how close they were Bucky could feel it on his skin.

Steve moved and straddled Bucky’s hips next. The scent, the sounds, and the feeling of Steve’s skin under his fingers were all okay, but the weight…

‘What’s wrong?’ Steve asked when Bucky pulled his mouth away.

‘Can we switch around?’ Bucky asked. ‘I don’t think I’m…’

Steve already rolled off of him, lying down on his back and pulling, urging Bucky to get on top of him instead. He pushed his fingers into Bucky’s hair, his fingertips pressing down on his scalp, sending tingles down Bucky’s spine.

‘Better?’ he asked.

‘Yeah,’ Bucky breathed, turning his head into Steve’s hand a little. He didn’t care how needy it looked.

‘What feels okay,’ Steve said then. He looked like a damn boy scout with his bright eyes, flushed cheeks, and eager smile. ‘Only what feels okay, that’s the rule.’

Bucky smiled down at him and kissed his stupid face, again and again. Steve actually squirmed underneath him when Bucky kissed his nose, too excited to stay still. Bucky would’ve called him adorable, but he was smart enough not to say it out loud. Steve could accept being many things, but Bucky would bet his left arm “adorable” was not one of them.

Steve dropped his legs open and Bucky crawled between them. It was breathtaking, being this close, slotting together, touching almost everywhere. It didn’t take long for Steve’s legs to tighten around Bucky’s hips, pulling him even closer. Bucky rolled into the pull, pressing his hips down. Steve’s gasp was the sweetest sound, but the moan that followed was even better.

So Bucky rolled his hips again, ground down even harder just to hear Steve make those noises some more. He wasn’t disappointed at all, and it made his insides feel like molten earth, the heat starting from within but quickly spreading out on his skin. Every piece of clothing that touched him felt like too much. Steve must’ve felt the same, because he shoved both of his hands down the back of Bucky’s borrowed sweats.

‘Take it off,’ he whispered, still kissing Bucky’s mouth.

Bucky made an agreeing noise and went for Steve’s trousers. It was never going to be graceful, the way they wiggled out of the rest of their clothes, pulling them down with a force that had the seams snapping a little. Not that it mattered.

‘See what I meant about the waterbed?’ Steve asked as he flopped back down the bed. ‘I would’ve fallen down doing something like this.’

Bucky thought he actually had a point as he tossed his sweats away and settled back down. The sheets were properly rumpled now, Steve’s skin was adorned with splotches of pink blush, his hair was messed up, and he kept smiling. Bucky let his eyes roam over his body slowly, taking in the details. He never really had the chance before. They never stood around looking at each other, so Bucky wanted to commit everything into memory.

‘Hmm, god bless America,’ he said, and as expected, Steve chocked on nothing, then started laughing, throwing his head back and just cracking up.

‘God, why?’ he asked as he laughed. ‘Why would you do that?’

Bucky smirked down at him, very pleased with himself.

‘I like it when you laugh,’ he said quietly. Steve stopped chuckling, but he kept smiling as he looked up at Bucky. Then he just looked...

Bucky kissed him before he could say it, because he couldn’t... he just couldn’t hear it right now. He was not ready for it. This, he could do. He could pour himself into a kiss, into touches. He could enjoy the taste of Steve’s lips, the sound of his sighs, the feel of his warm skin under his fingers, but he felt like he would shatter if he heard that.

Steve kissed him back without protest and soon they were entangled in each other again. Bucky between Steve’s legs, their hips pressed together now without any layers to separate them. It wasn’t that extraordinary, grinding on each other like boys, but Bucky was so hard he feared he would be soon overwhelmed with pleasure. It was not a sensation his body was familiar with. Pain, yes, pleasure, not so much. But Steve kept him anchored into the present, kept his mind from wandering too far. It was still a struggle, but not as difficult as it was alone.

‘God, Bucky,’ Steve breathed out when they parted for a bit. ‘You gotta... we gotta move things along unless you want me clocked out before we even really get started.’

‘Shut up, you’re a goddamn super soldier,’ Bucky said, because that was such bull.

‘Fine,’ Steve said, leaning up to bite Bucky’s lips again. ‘I’m impatient then,’ he said.

‘That I can believe,’ Bucky told him as he grabbed Steve’s thigh to pull his leg higher up on Bucky’s waist, giving himself an even better angle to roll his hips down, rubbing his hard cock right down on Steve’s. Oh, it felt good.

‘C’mon, Buck,’ Steve moaned, arching his back.

Bucky reached for the tube of slick Steve put next to the pillow, but he held it up in front of Steve’s face before doing anything with it.

‘I’m still not sure I’ve ever done this,’ he reminded Steve. ‘I don’t want to do it badly.’

‘It’s fine, I know... I mean...’ Bucky arched an eyebrow.

‘You said you didn’t...’

‘Not with a guy,’ Steve cut in.

‘A girl?’ Bucky asked next, as the obvious conclusion.

‘No, just myself,’ Steve said. ‘Look, I told you, internet, I was... curious.’

Bucky huffed out a small fond laugh, then the sight of how that must’ve looked appeared in his mind.

‘You’re picturing it,’ Steve said with a slightly dirty tone of voice.

‘Hell yeah I’m picturing it,’ Bucky said. ‘But I don’t have to for long, cause I’m gonna see it for myself.’

Steve took the tube from Bucky’s hand, not being shy about it at all. It made Bucky smile down at him.

‘You’re gonna do more than just watch, pal,’ Steve told him firmly.

‘Yes sir, Captain Rogers, sir,’ Bucky murmured as he leaned in for another kiss. It felt good to play, to tease, it eased some of his earlier desperation, the weight of this enormous thing between them.

Steve didn’t react to his words with anything other than one of those smiles. The smile that said that he wanted to say the thing Bucky did not want to hear. He stayed silent though. Maybe he realized, maybe he knew from the start, either way Bucky was grateful.

Steve grabbed Bucky’s right hand, coated some of his fingers with the slick he already had on his hand and it quickly warmed from their touch. As soon as Steve let go Bucky couldn’t help but wrap his hand around Steve’s dick, giving it a few firm strokes, making Steve moan again, arch his neck again. He was just as hard as Bucky, just as eager to be touched, and it felt good to give him what he wanted.

And he wanted more, so Bucky wanted to give him more. His hand trailed down from his cock to his balls, and he gave those a gentle caress as well, watched as Steve sucked his lower lip into his mouth. Then Steve scooted down a bit, giving Bucky batter access, spreading his thighs even wider in invitation. He reached down to guide Bucky’s hand down to where he wanted it, and that somehow made Bucky’s heart pound.

It wasn’t just the feeling of the tight ring of muscle at his fingertips, and the noise Steve made when Bucky rubbed it. It was also how Steve’s cock jumped at the touch, how he tilted his hips up, and closed his eyes. There was no question about what he wanted, so Bucky slipped one finger in, nice and slow. Then he immediately had to lean forward to kiss Steve again. He couldn’t stay away from his red-bitten lips.

He started moving the finger as he left kisses on Steve’s face, then jaw, then down on his neck, pointedly avoiding the burn again. He even reached up with his free hand to touch Steve’s chest before he caught himself and pulled it away again.

Steve caught the metal hand a second after, putting it firmly back to where Bucky originally touched him. It made Bucky freeze for just one moment, because he couldn’t really be that gentle with that hand. The metal was always going to be rigid and unyielding, and he knew how unpleasant the ridges could be, since he experienced it every time he showered. But Steve covered Bucky’s metal hand with his own, kept it there, so Bucky shook off his doubts and touched him like he planned to. He spread his fingers and slid his hand down on Steve’s chest, brushing a nipple on his way. Steve clenched around his finger and moved a hand to Bucky’s back, digging his fingers in.

There was enough slick on his fingers to pull out a little and push back in with two and Steve moaned his approval. Bucky kissed his front down, his chest, then his stomach, sliding lower on the bed. Not just because he needed a better angle with his right hand, but because he wanted to put his mouth to more exciting places. It also felt good to press his hard dick down on the smooth sheets.

When Bucky’s mouth reached the dark blond hair below Steve’s navel he heard a little cut off noise from Steve, his thighs were also trembling a little in anticipation. It almost made Bucky want to drag this out, but he was too impatient himself for that. He dipped out his tongue for a quick lick and he heard the wood of the bed frame creak as Steve put his arms up to grab hold of the headboard. Bucky wondered if he was going to break it as he sucked the head into his mouth. The taste of the remains of the lube was thankfully gone after a moment. Steve lifted his hips up a little, but he had enough self-control not to thrust up. Bucky felt so good about making Steve react this way, making him feel this way.

He pressed his fingers in deeper, moved them around in different angles, and just listened to every sound Steve made, searched for what he liked best. Everything else faded into the background. Steve repeated Bucky’s name, he sucked in deep breaths that he could only let out with deep groans, he made tiny “oh” sounds that seemed completely involuntary. The wood of the headboard also creaked ominously a few times under Steve’s strong hands. Bucky just sucked him down deeper in reaction, bobbing his head a bit.

‘Bucky, Bucky, stop,’ Steve breathed out urgently a minute or so later, so Bucky let his dick slip out of his mouth and looked up at him. Steve grabbed his head and pulled him up for a kiss. Bucky thought his own moan was not unlike the purr of a big cat. He could still taste Steve on his tongue and now Steve could too.

‘I’m gonna come, if you don’t stop,’ Steve explained then.

‘That’s sort of the point,’ Bucky said.

‘Yes, but...’ he rolled his hips down a little, making Bucky’s fingers slide in deeper. ‘I want you to...’

Everything up until this point went so smoothly, felt so easy, so Bucky hated the way some of his muscles locked up at that. The way his mind came back online, filled with doubts and unease. He thought he was fine with all of this, so what right did his head have to screw it up now? Why did everything suddenly seem so huge, so important? Why did this suddenly feel like something too easily broken?

‘Maybe a little too adventurous for our first try,’ he said, licking his lips.

‘If you don’t want to, that’s fine,’ Steve said, reading him like a book apparently.

‘It’s not that,’ Bucky reassured him, then he leaned down to bury his face in Steve’s neck, leaving kisses everywhere.

‘Hey,’ Steve whispered, then he nudged Bucky’s head to get him to look at him again. He was kissed the second he lifted his head and Steve wrapped his arms around him too. ‘This is fine too, just stay close to me.’

‘I do want you,’ Bucky said to him, because it was worth repeating.

‘And I want you too, right here. Whatever you’re ready for, it’s enough for me.’

Bucky slipped his fingers out to grab hold of Steve’s hip, to settle more comfortably down between his legs again.

‘I want you happy, you know,’ Bucky said. ‘It’s one of the things that keeps me going.’

‘If you only wanted to kiss me, I would still be happy,’ Steve said earnestly. ‘I just need you here, Buck.’

‘I’m here,’ Bucky said just before he kissed him again. Steve held him and kissed him back.

Their hips started moving again after a few moments. Bucky couldn’t keep in the ragged moan that came out of his mouth when his hard dick rubbed against Steve’s still slick cock. Bucky shivered from the pleasure that tingled down his entire body. Steve wrapped a leg around Bucky, pulling him closer and tilting his own hips up. The head of Bucky’s cock dragged up, rubbing between Steve’s balls and everything was much hotter in the room all of a sudden. The air they shared between their mouths felt boiling hot. The slickness between them, the lube and pre-come, but also the sweat that gathered between Steve’s thighs and Bucky’s hips, made things inexplicably erotic. Not to mention the wet sounds that could drive any grown man nuts. Maybe Bucky just had a thing for getting a little messy, he wasn’t sure.

He kissed Steve again as he started moving his hips faster. Steve’s kiss was deep and messy, barely even something that could be called a kiss. Then he slipped one hand down to grab hold of Bucky’s ass, urging him on. Maybe he couldn’t give Steve everything just yet, but he was still going to make him feel as good as humanly possible.

‘Oh, fuck,’ Steve cursed silently, his lips red, shiny and open, his skin slick with sweat and his hands tight on Bucky. He was close, Bucky could tell, so he kept going, making sure their cocks lined up just right.

Steve’s thighs squeezed him tightly a few moments later and his fingers dug in so hard that Bucky wouldn’t be shocked to find bruises on his skin. And god, it was beautiful, how he threw his head back and pushed his hips up, grinding up again and again as he came.

Yeah, there had to be something about the mess, because Bucky shuddered at the feel of Steve’s hot come spreading out between them, making everything impossibly slick. Or maybe it was just Steve’s pleasure that got him off. Either way he knew he was done for, his breathing was quick, almost ragged, and he had to press his mouth to Steve’s neck to silence himself just a little.

Steve murmured something as he kept holding onto him, but Bucky couldn’t decipher the words, his mind only registered Steve’s voice and the emotions in it. But it was enough, more than enough. His muscles tensed up as he came, adding to the mess between their bodies, and he kept moving until the very final wave of pleasure rushed through him.

Then he just stopped to breathe, focusing on Steve’s fingers caressing his back. He was surprised his body was whole, because on the inside he felt like he fell apart a little.

Steve kept holding him, allowing him to catch his breath in silence, easily taking Bucky’s weight on top of him. The rise and fall of his chest, the calming sound of his breathing, and the touch of his fingers were all things Bucky could zero in on. After a few minutes he felt his heart calm down a bit, no longer urging him to run, to hide. He relaxed.

‘Buck?’ Steve said his name quietly, making it sound like a question.

‘I’m okay,’ Bucky said. ‘It’s just hard to feel this good.’

Steve’s arms tightened around him.

‘Do you need anything?’ Steve asked then, gently playing with his hair.

Bucky thought about it.

‘Would you shower with me?’ he asked. He could still never bring himself to take his time and enjoy it when he was alone, but he really wanted a long hot shower right now. He could do it with Steve, he could do anything with Steve around.

‘Of course,’ Steve said, then kissed the top of his head. Bucky turned his head, no longer hiding his face in Steve’s neck, but he made no move to get up just yet. Steve didn’t seem to mind.

* * *


	40. Chapter 40

Steve felt himself wake and almost right away his body told him that something was wrong. The bed felt too cool and the sound of Bucky’s breathing was absent. He tried to listen before he opened his eyes, but he only caught a faint electric buzz that usually came from digital alarm clocks. There was a faint light he could see even through his eyelids.

When he opened his eyes the ceiling was too dark and too far away to see. He turned his head. The wall to his right was covered with heavy drapes and was almost completely obscured by deep shadows. This was not his room. He kept his breathing even, but since he could still not hear anything he sat up to take in his surroundings. The same drapes were all around him, no furniture, no windows, no doors, just dark drapes.

He cautiously got out of the bed. The floor looked like smooth stone, but it was warm underneath Steve’s bare feet, which was an odd contrast to the cool bed. He stood there for a moment, making sure his eyes were clear and his muscles no longer sluggish from sleep. Something did not feel right, and it wasn’t just the fact that he woke up alone somewhere completely different. Something was off about his body, his perception, his senses… he just couldn’t put a finger on what exactly was off.

One of the drapes shifted, moved like it was caught in a small breeze and more light filtered into the room. Steve started walking towards it and the sense of wrongness continued as he moved. The drapes were too light when he touched them, not nearly as heavy as they looked when he pulled them aside.

The first thing he saw was the purple and dark blue sky. Like the many shades of dusk, but Steve could not see the sun anywhere. The colours spread out all across the sky with no source of light. The ground was yellow everywhere he looked, dried grass or wheat fields, it was hard to tell from where Steve was standing, high up on the top of some unnatural cliff. The edges were too angular for it to be a real stone.

Warm wind touched his face and that was when he realized. He knew the wind was warm and gentle, he knew, but he couldn’t actually feel it.

‘The colours are not right,’ said a voice that made Steve tense up, a female voice that had a deep dark rumble in it. He didn’t even need to turn around. ‘Dusk used to be my favourite, and this is how I remember it, but it’s been too long since I’ve last seen it with my own eyes.’

‘I’m dreaming,’ Steve said out loud, maybe hoping to shatter what he saw with reality.

‘Yes, you are.’

Steve closed his eyes and willed himself to wake up.

‘No, Captain, no, first we talk,’ Chthon said.

‘Where am I?’ Steve asked.

‘I believe you’re sleeping in your lover’s embrace,’ came the answer. Steve resisted the urge to turn around just to glare.

It became more and more obvious that the world around him was not real, there were not enough sounds, not even the wind whistled in his ears.

‘What do you want?’ Steve asked, hoping that this would be over quicker if they got to the point.

‘You’re an anomaly,’ Chthon said. ‘Well, no, your intentions are more than clear now, but still you became involved unexpectedly.’

Steve just huffed, because with Bucky in the middle of everything Steve’s presence was the least unexpected thing.

‘Of course I had my attention on that trickster first,’ Chthon continued. ‘Now I know better.’

Just the fact that he was referring to Bucky made Steve close his hands into fists.

‘Do you have any idea where your friend’s loyalties lie? Whose service he’s in?’

Steve clenched his jaw and said nothing, because it was better than answering “no” out loud.

Chthon walked closer to him. Seeing the female body out of the corner of his eye was strange after only listening to the dual-voice.

‘No, of course not, she would most certainly go to great lengths to conceal her meddling.’

‘Meddling? You mean stopping you?’

‘Stopping me from what exactly? From returning to my home, to the world where I was created, where I belong? What right does she have to deny me that?’

Steve finally looked back and his thoughts must’ve been clearly written on his face ... or Chthon could simply read his mind in this dream.

‘You have no idea what I’m talking about,’ he said. The female voice was fading now, Steve could barely hear it, the deep rumble became clearer, more prominent.

‘My sister,’ Chthon said. ‘She’s the one who set your friend on this path. She does love to make others do her bidding.’

Steve was no wiser with that vague answer. He kept staring at the unknown woman, at Chthon looking through her eyes. There was no getting out of this, Steve just knew. He had to listen to whatever this so-called god or demon wanted to say to him. Maybe Bucky will notice that something’s wrong, maybe he’ll wake him up soon.

‘Let me tell you a story, to clear up your confusion.’

Great.

‘What do you want from me?’ Steve repeated, because there was more to this than Chthon trying to be chatty or intimidating. He singled him out and Steve wanted to know why.

‘I want you to understand how profoundly you and your friend were deceived,’ he said.

And weren’t those just the right words to pique his interest? It was surely deliberate, the carrot dangling in front of his face, and yet… If he couldn’t leave he might as well get some information. Make the best out of a sticky situation.

Chthon looked out at the yellow land below them.

‘This is the world I have created, willed it into existence by carving a new dimension into one of the endless corners of our reality. I did so when I fled, when I ran from Earth to keep my life. And why? For a sin I have not committed.’

‘Oh, is this the part where you tell me your tragic backstory?’ Steve interrupted, lifting an unimpressed eyebrow, just to make sure it was understood what he thought of that.

‘My kind, we are old, eternal... unchanging. There is no growing weak, no growing strong. We lived on Earth for many years, in relative peace even, then one of my brothers discovered something. Something new... and horrendous.’

He didn’t let Steve interrupt this time, not that Steve tried all that hard.

‘There was a way for us to grow more powerful... by taking the life of one of our own. You can imagine where this leads. Once the knowledge was out our brother was not the only one overcome with greed for more. The beginning of the end, as they say.’

‘Then my sister, the very same that made this deal with your friend, created a son... if it can be called that. A creature with the power of the Sun at his disposal, and she unleashed him upon as all. The God-Eater, that’s what he’s called now, for good reason.’

Thor mentioned the God-Eater, so at least that was adding up.

‘What does this have anything to do with your demons, huh?’ Steve asked. ‘Or the block you levelled in Detroit? The things you said that day? Your followers murdering innocents? Spare me the story.’

‘This is a lot more complicated than you can...’

‘It seems pretty straightforward to me,’ Steve answered confidently.

‘You were told I am a threat, so that’s how you treat me, but you know that Loki, that treacherous would-be-god, is a threat as well. And yet you do not worry why he’s doing this?’ Chthon said, shifting the topic again.

‘We’ve dealt with Loki before,’ Steve said.

‘Yes, but what if he turns unimaginably more powerful?’

Loki was getting stronger, Steve knew that already, but he wouldn’t call it “unimaginably” stronger. They could still take him down if it came to that. Thor, Vision, the Hulk, any of them would be strong enough to stand toe-to-toe with Loki.

‘Captain, you should’ve realized by now. He’s not protecting anyone, certainly not Earth as he cares not for it. And he doesn’t just want to stop me… he aims to kill me.’

Steve frowned.

‘Yes, I imagine that doesn’t sound like such a problem from your point of view, but try to recall this story you did not want to hear to the end. What is the one thing one can gain from the death of an Elder God?’

‘Power,’ Steve said.

‘When my sister Gaea sent her son after us, he was not all-powerful, but the more of us he killed, consumed, the more unstoppable he became. It’s not just our own kind that’s able to harness that power.’

Chthon walked a little forward, gazing up at the sky.

‘I invite you to imagine what someone like Loki would do with the power I have.’

‘That doesn’t mean you are any less of a threat,’ Steve said, but his mind was indeed going over possibilities already. Loki was Loki, it would have been downright stupid to ignore the threat he posed, even with just the power he had now.

‘Why?’ Chthon asked. The question made Steve look over to him in surprise. He wondered who the woman was and why Chthon decided to keep her shape even in a dream.

‘What why?’ Steve asked in return.

‘Why am I a threat? What have I done to earn me such contempt from humans?’

‘You… your demons--’

‘I’ve created the N’Garai, but I have not sent them to Earth, they are not meant for that world, this is their home,’ he said as he gestured at the yellow land and purple sky. ‘They were summoned by humans.’

‘Your followers,’ Steve clarified.

‘My followers worship me as their god,’ Chthon agreed. ‘And they have done everything within their power to open a door for me back home. I won’t refuse the chance to do so, but I hardly control their every move. Up until recently I was very firmly locked away from Earth, with no way to reach anyone.’

‘The people they killed--’

‘So I am responsible for everything done in my name?’ Chthon asked. ‘A strange way to look at things.’

‘You’re the one that gave them power,’ Steve said, raising his voice. He was starting to be really fed up with the condescending tone directed at him. ‘Control over demons, the… magic they’re using. You’re the source of it all.’

Chthon stared at him for a moment and Steve noticed again how strange the woman’s eyes looked. Empty and filled with something otherworldly at the same time, because it was Chthon looking through her eyes and not the woman herself. She was just flesh and bones, worn like a suit. Was she even alive still?

‘When the Demogorge started killing us, for most there was no place to run. It did not matter whether you shed the blood of your kin or not, he was coming for us all. Magic was the tool of very few, so in the end only my brother and I managed to flee from Earth, by tricking him. Everyone else perished, just like Gaea wanted.’

Steve stood there listening, because he had no other choice locked in this dream. He did not like being cornered like this.

‘When I fled, some of my possessions were left behind,’ Chthon continued. ‘Among them was a book I call the Darkhold. It contains many of the spells I have created in my long years of study and experimentation.’

‘As far as I know the pages of the book are scattered on Earth, and the people who are in possession of them have access to arcane magic not at all meant for humans. I do not know if anyone has the book itself and if they hand out pages to chosen ones, or if it’s merely luck and the twists of fate, but it is entirely out of my hands.’

‘Why the hell would I believe you?’ Steve asked.

‘Because I think you are more than just a mindless soldier, who strikes where he’s told to strike. I think you let your heart lead you instead of your head, so you ignored the many warning signs of this deception that you are the victim of.’

Steve stayed silent.

‘Think about it. Think of all the warnings, the careful half-truths, and the secrets not spoken in your presence. Think about it.’

‘You said you will reap souls when you arrive,’ Steve recalled from that day, the image of Loki’s bloody strung-up body above his.

‘Yes, I will slay my enemies,’ Chthon said. ‘My sister and those in her service.’

‘Like Bucky,’ Steve said.

‘Oh, I’m willing to show mercy in that case if the two of you come to your senses. I see no pleasure in killing someone who’s been used by my sister. A broken man with a broken mind locked into a deal he cannot escape. Even I am not so cruel, but how typical of her to offer chains in the guise of salvation and hope.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ Steve said.

‘Some part of you does; the part of you that always questions. You do want to know the truth, and you know things are being kept from you. Maybe you even already realized how much you’ve been lied to. Or are the kisses of a lover enough to make you turn your head the other way?’

Steve ignored the last comment and what was implied with it, because Bucky would never do something like that. What they had between them was strong and real, something not even the long decades they spent apart could eradicate. Not Hydra, not even the ice. Chthon miscalculated if he thought he could make Steve doubt the one person he could always count on, whom he could trust above all others.

Loki though… he’s been a lot bigger question mark since the very beginning.

‘Mistress Death,’ Steve said. ‘Who is she? She’s not your sister, she’s--’

‘Death,’ Chthon said. ‘Simple as that. I think you already knew that, even if you told yourself you should not believe it.’

Maybe he did know, because what he felt that day when that presence appeared was unlike anything else he’s ever experienced.

‘That’s how I knew something was amiss,’ Chthon continued. ‘Mistress Death does not care for me or Earth, something much larger is at play. I do not know why Loki chases the power my death can give him, but he intends to use it for something. Something even Mistress Death is interested in seeing happen. Does that sound like something to worry about to you?’ he asked then.

Steve didn’t answer, but he knew his frown deepened as he thought about it.

‘It certainly worries me,’ Chthon said. ‘Chaos and magic are my tools of trade as well, but oh that Trickster is something else. Even reality seems to shimmer around him, time and space both seem fragile and the worlds appear much closer. He is turning into something more, something not meant for our world… or our time.’

‘So you’re afraid him,’ Steve stated simply, looking Chthon straight in the eyes.

He wondered if he actually caught something on the female face in reaction, or if he just imagined it.

‘It worries me,’ Chthon repeated calmly.

Truth to be told, it worried Steve too to some level. He’s known from the the start that Loki most likely had a plan of some sorts. The question was why, if this was all true. What was the endgame?

‘And I believe I’m not the only one interested in knowing why and to what end,’ Chthon added, echoing Steve’s thoughts perfectly. He had to be able to get into Steve’s head, read his mind in this dream. He had to be doing that.

‘All right, you said what you wanted to say, now let me wake up,’ Steve said.

‘Tell me first what you truly believe,’ Chthon prompted.

‘I think I’m going to find out the truth myself,’ Steve answered. He knew he had more reasons to doubt Loki than to believe him, but that didn’t mean he was going to trust Chthon and take his words at face value. He’s been trying to push Steve’s buttons from the get-go, but he was no puppet to be dragged around on a string, he was not going to be a piece in anyone’s chess game. There was no way in hell.

‘I see,’ Chthon said thoughtfully. ‘It can’t be helped then, I suppose.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Steve demanded as he turned towards the god, but in less than a blink he woke up.

It was like awakening form a nightmare. His limbs suddenly kicked into action, and there was a sense of falling for one long moment before the bed underneath him registered. His was breathing heavily too and he wondered if he made any noise.

‘Steve?!’ he heard Bucky say from somewhere that sounded a little distant for a second. ‘Steve!’ he yelled. Now definitely right next to him, maybe he’s been there all along.

Steve’s skin was clammy, as if running a fever, but he knew that was not right. He almost convinced himself that it was just the room being too warm, but Stark Tower was never too warm.

‘Steve, open your eyes, c’mon,’ Bucky said. He sounded really worried. Steve wanted to reach out to reassure him, but his limbs felt like lead. How long was he asleep?

It took serious effort to pry open his eyes and he had to give it a go a few times to actually succeed. The first thing he saw was Bucky’s face, and they had one wonderful moment, where Bucky looked relieved and Steve started to smile to let him know he was okay, then Bucky’s metal arm started glowing.

It was not the entire arm, just symbols that appeared everywhere. There were triangles, squares, circles, and a few things that looked like letters, scattered all around the metal plates. Bucky looked down at his arm with a deep frown, then back down at Steve. He hesitated for one second, then he backed off in a hurry, as if the bed was on fire, stepping away and putting a few feet between them.

Steve could finally move and he sat up even though his muscles protested a little.

‘Bucky… what’s going on?’ he asked.

Bucky looked torn as he looked at Steve, opening his mouth to say something, but then he looked down at the glowing arm again. They were colourful, Steve realizes, a deep glowing shade of different colours. Almost like a rainbow, Steve realized, and it was surprising, bizarre, and so out of place. If it weren’t for the look on Bucky’s face, Steve would have found it oddly amusing. But Bucky’s dark eyes were sharp, and after a moment of staring at the glowing symbols he clenched his fists tightly.

‘Bucky, what’s wrong?’ Steve asked, moving to get off from the bed, hoping his legs would cooperate.

‘Loki!’ Bucky called instead loudly.

Steve didn’t even have time to be surprised, because in a flash of light and flickering flames Loki appeared in the room, just like that, right in front of Bucky. Still half-naked and bandaged, but ready for a fight, if his body language was any indication. He quickly looked around the room to spot any threat that might be lurking about, but he soon stopped when Bucky lifted his arm a little.

He turned towards Steve then, his eyes piercing in the dim light. Steve stood up and Loki stepped to the side to stand more fully in front of him. Between them. It made anger flare up in Steve’s chest.

‘I didn’t want you involved, this is exactly why I didn’t want you involved,’ Bucky said.

‘What are you talking about? Why did you call him?’ Steve asked, gesturing at Loki.

Bucky didn’t seem to be listening, he reached up to rub his face with both hands hissing a few harsh curses into his palms.

‘How are we going to fix this, Loki? There’s gotta be a way,’ he said after he dropped his hands. Yeah, and that boiling anger in Steve’s stomach? It just flared up more at that. Sizzling, burning anger that spread to his muscles and hardened his face.

Loki kept watching Steve as well, scrutinizing him, his gaze prickled Steve’s skin in a very unpleasant way.

‘What the hell is going on?’ he asked again, keeping his voice even for now.

‘He’s in your head,’ Bucky said.

Steve frowned. ‘No, there’s... what?’

‘Do you remember at all? Anything about what you saw before you woke up?’

It was a confusing question and Steve didn’t really get what Bucky meant by it.

‘Like a dream?’ he asked. The word made him think of wheat for some reason, and endless golden field and the setting sun on the horizon. It was a vague picture, like a childhood memory, although he knew very well he never visited anything like that when he was a child.

‘How do we get rid of him?’ Bucky asked, looking at the side of Loki’s head again. ‘If he’s close enough for this?’

He meant the arm and the faintly glowing symbols on it, but that actually didn’t mean anything to Steve. Bucky was talking over his head, talking about him without explaining a damn thing to him personally.

‘All right, I’m not doing this,’ Steve said. ‘You can either explain what’s going on right now, or you can both get the hell out of the room.’

It was so frustrating, the way Loki glanced to the side to look at Bucky and how Bucky looked back, the two of them communicating without words, because that’s how close they actually were apparently. Steve never actually asked how long they’ve been doing this, working together. He also never asked a lot of other questions that seemed a lot more important now. He let things slide, he knew that, he gave Bucky space, he gave him time, but there were just too many things left unsaid, too many questions left unanswered. Was Bucky ever going to speak up about any of them? Or was everything Steve did not demand to know going to remain a secret forever?

He thought if he just gave it some time Bucky would tell him everything, but he was wrong, wasn’t he?

He should’ve felt tired maybe, but instead he was angry. That was more like he used to react before and during the war. This lethargy he’s been struggling with for so long now evaporated in the wake of this anger. But that was good, he had every right to be angry, every reason to be spitting mad.

He started walking forward, but Loki moved to stand right in front of him even though Steve meant to walk around him.

‘Get out of my way,’ he told him, staring him down. Loki stared back, not moving an inch of course, but what did Steve expect?

‘Steve,’ Bucky said, but for now Steve had his eyes fixed on the obstacle in front of him.

‘I won’t ask twice,’ Steve said. He had a feeling Loki would have said something infuriating if he had been able to, but instead he just shook his head no.

Steve squared his shoulders, not in the habit of backing off, and moved to walk past Loki again. Loki put his arm out and stopped Steve with a hand on his chest. It was just a hand, but it was still enough to stop Steve’s momentum. He clenched his jaw and moved to twist out of the way, maybe even shove at the arm for good measures.

Loki was obviously not in the mood for dancing around or playing games, because the next time he moved he grabbed hold of Steve’s arm and slammed into him with what felt like the force of a truck, pinning him to the nearest wall with a forearm across his neck.

Bucky said something, but it was drowned out by HELEN, who sounded an alarm the second Loki touched him.

‘ _Hold on, Steve. Vision’s been alerted_ ,’ she reported.

‘Wait, no!’ Bucky protested, shouting at the room at large, but his input mattered very little when it came to HELEN’s security protocols.

Sure enough, it took Vision less than a minute to phase through Steve’s floor and arrive to the bedroom. He never slept, so he was always quick to react. He took in the scene in front of him and immediately got in-between Steve and Loki. Loki was less than pleased about the interruption, but Vision did what he always did, which was to get the threat as far away from anyone they could harm as possible. He even paid enough attention to only smash through Steve’s door instead of a wall, when Loki fought back to get out of his hold.

Steve heard a much louder crash from outside, but he didn’t actually care about the damage done to his floor. He looked over to Bucky again, whose arm was still glinting like a colourful opal.

‘Is this how things work now?’ he asked, almost shouted. ‘It’s supposed to be you and me and now you and _him_!’

‘Steve, listen to me,’ Bucky said, holding a hand up. ‘Chthon, you saw him, try to remember it. Like a vision, or a dream, or a voice...’

‘How can Loki show up within a few seconds every time you call him?’ Steve asked in return.

‘Steve...’

‘Why is it such a big secret who you work for? Who Loki works for?’

‘Steve, I told you--’

‘You didn’t tell me anything, half-truths maybe, some bullshit about stopping someone we don’t even know anything about. And the second something seems off, some weird magic going on with your arm, you call for Loki instead of telling me a damn thing about what the hell is going on!’

‘I tried to keep you away from this,’ Bucky said.

‘Well, if you really wanted to, maybe you should’ve stayed away altogether!’

There was a much larger crash from outside, shattering glass and cracking concrete.

‘I want the truth,’ Steve said, walking closer to him. ‘I want the whole truth, and I will either get it from you or I will find another way, but I’m drawing the line in the sand.’

Bucky didn’t say anything right away, he hesitated, thinking about something, and that was enough of an answer to Steve.

‘Fine,’ he said, huffing out a large breath and squaring his shoulders. Then he marched up to Bucky before he could protest.

‘No, stop!’ Bucky yelled at him, but a light erupted in front of Steve before he could react to the warning. He didn’t know what happened, just that something pushed him backwards, an invisible force that slammed into him so hard it made his bones rattle. Then he hit a wall, smashing through it.

He must’ve hit his head real bad, because he was dizzy for a long moment after he landed on his back, then he was out.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait everyone, I couldn't type for a little while due to some muscle pain, but now I'm back! :)


	41. Chapter 41

Tony watched HELEN’s security footage on their way back to New York several times to make heads or tails of what actually happened. And he continued watching it once they landed and got in a car to drive back to the Tower. Strange got in the back with Tony, while the super-assassin duo took the front seats. Normally, Tony disliked having someone else in the driver’s seat, but Clint was one of the few people he actually trusted enough to be relaxed about it.

They were all silent, so there was only the sound of the security footage coming from the tablet. And oh, it was some spectacularly awful footage to watch, especially on repeat.

Obviously, having Loki at the tower was a recipe for disaster on its own, but Tony was surprised to learn that it seemed like everything had a lot more to do with Barnes and Steve than with Loki. Although, if he could, he would still give Loki the bill for the repairs, because oh boy was the entire floor trashed to all hell.

Vision did his best to not turn the whole thing into a brawl, but Tony was aware there was not much he could’ve done to prevent Loki from getting as pissed as he looked like through the camera. The guy had worse anger issues than Bruce. Their brief altercation also served as the first visual evidence Tony saw that proved Loki was getting stronger. He had to check with Thor, but he doubted Loki was capable of cracking a damn floor and wall and smashing every possible thing made out of glass just by clenching his fists before. There was some sort of a shockwave around him, but Tony needed more data he had access to right now to draw any solid conclusions.

Thor arrived to Steve’s floor a few moments after Loki’s little destructive magic trick and – wonders never ceased – he stopped Loki simply by asking him to stop. He just asked, nicely even. It was weird, but gift-horses and all that, Tony was glad that it worked.

Speaking of shocking turn of events, Tony switched back to Steve’s bedroom surveillance camera. He didn’t watch any of the private parts, although HELEN informed him there were plenty, which was… informative on its own.

The thing that caught his eyes the most was not the lover’s spat, and not even Loki materializing out of thin air in all his half-naked, half-bandaged glory, but the symbols on Barnes’ arm and the damn light-show that happened when Steve tried to get close to him. Whatever it was, it packed quite a punch.

‘What do you make of this, Doc?’ Tony asked.

Strange took the tablet from Tony right away. He watched the footage once already, but didn’t offer any comments that time. Now he rewound it, skipped a few parts from what Tony caught from the audio, and he also switched cameras a few times.

‘I see at least five different Earth symbols on that arm,’ Strange commented.

‘Yeah? And what does that mean?’

‘Normally, I would dismiss it, because they are from very different sources. And usually nobody, outside spiritually-inclined teenagers, would use so many dissimilar mythological signs at once.’

‘But?’

‘This is obviously not the work of a person who comes up with things like wiccan feng shui.’

‘That’s a thing?’

‘I wish it were not,’ Strange said. He had to be joking, but Tony couldn’t really read the guy that well yet. Maybe he was this serious and overdramatic by default, but Tony would bet that half the shit that came out of his mouth was nothing but desert dry sarcasm and inside jokes with himself.

‘Okay, so what does Barnes’ pride parade accessory mean when it comes to serious hocus-pocus? What do the stars say and all that?’

‘That’s astrology,’ Strange replied. ‘He turned away from Captain Rogers, just before the blast occurred, so I think it was not intentional on his part.’

‘Agreed,’ Tony nodded, he already noticed that too.

‘Defence mechanism?’ Strange ventured.

‘Why would Steve be a threat?’ asked Natasha from the front seat.

‘I have no way of knowing unless I’m there in person,’ Strange said.

‘Barnes said “He’s in your head”… and while I don’t want to jump into horrible conclusions… well…’ Tony said. ‘What do you think, Romanoff?’

‘I think I’m not going to take Barnes’ and Loki’s word for it,’ she said.

‘How is Captain Rogers?’ Strange asked then.

‘HELEN?’ Tony asked, taking the tablet back.

‘ _There have been some worrying developments_ ,’ HELEN reported.

‘And you’re telling me that now?’ Tony asked in return.

‘ _Vision was just about to contact you_ ,’ the AI replied and soon the paused security footage switched over to a live-feed of Vision.

‘ _Tony_ ,’ he greeted.

‘Talk to me Vizh,’ Tony prompted, and he was actually proud when Vision didn’t even blink at the nickname.

‘ _Steve is physically unharmed, a few bumps on the head and some large bruises, but that’s nothing his super soldier serum cannot handle._ ’

‘So what’s the bed news?’ Natasha asked.

‘ _Miss Leah, and in addition Loki, urged us to place him in isolation, and seeing what’s going on now… well, I’m inclined to agree. So after making sure he was uninjured, we sealed the infirmary. I instructed HELEN to follow her contamination protocol._ ’

‘Show us,’ Strange asked, scooting closer to Tony on the backseat to be able to look at the tablet.

HELEN switched the live feed to one of the cameras in the infirmary, zoomed in on the bed Steve was sleeping on. Tony tightened his lips and felt his shoulders go tense as he looked at him.

The handprint that Loki magicked away for the most part was back with vengeance, now deep blue and more like a bruise than a burn. The bulging veins on Steve’s neck, however, appeared to be an even bigger problem, because the handprint’s inky colour was spreading everywhere underneath his skin. Tony’s breath got stuck in his throat for a long moment, because he saw this before... well, something similar.

‘Get us there! Now!’ Strange said urgently. They sped up immediately, driving faster towards the tower.

‘Give that here!’ Natasha demanded and Tony handed her the tablet wordlessly.

She said nothing, but Tony was sure she had plenty of things going around in her head. And they were both probably thinking the same thing.

* * *

When they got out of the car and headed inside Tony didn’t really listen to what Natasha and Clint were talking about. He just led the way for Strange, who was right on his heels, wearing his cape and the whole ridiculous get-up, not that Tony cared about that either. Strange was – oddly enough – not the weirdest person Tony’s ever met. He was actually pretty normal for a surgeon turned wizard. Plus this was not the time to give a damn about Strange, Tony couldn’t be bothered.

Tony and Steve... they had their differences, a lot of differences, they argued, they butted heads, they... it was complicated, but it was Steve! Those blue veins spreading on his neck... Tony didn’t want to think about the guys they captured (rescued) on the Hashima Island. He didn’t want to think about cracking blue-stained teeth, dark nails falling off, eyes turning frantic and unseeing, too-dark blood pouring out from... goddamn everywhere, organs giving out... this couldn’t be the same thing, it just couldn’t! Amora did that to them, right? And she was long gone... this couldn’t be the same thing.

But there was a cold hard dread in Tony’s stomach that made his brain run a thousand times faster, trying to come up with a solution. Of course he knew jack shit about all this mystical-magical bullshit, and that was the most frustrating thing.

Bruce was waiting for them at a corridor leading to the infirmary, and he started giving them an update the second they were within hearing distance.

‘He woke up,’ he said right away. ‘Uh, he’s not… happy… and I don’t think hitting that wall was what knocked him out in the first place. Whatever Barnes’ arm can do, it doesn’t seem like a weapon.’

‘Something aimed to protect him,’ Strange said right away. ‘So I would assume it’s more a barrier or something that neutralizes threats.’

‘A specific threat,’ Natasha said. ‘We’ve seen him in plenty of dangerous situations. Tony even got in a first-fight with him, but this didn’t happen.’

‘Unfortunately, this specific threat is bad news for us all,’ Strange said.

‘So, I’m making assumptions here,’ Bruce said. ‘But do you know what we can do, Doctor Strange?’

‘I’m…’ he stopped with a sigh. ‘I’m still running ideas around in my head. I have a few possible solutions maybe, but I will need more information first.’

‘Okay, so how about we don’t stand around?’ Tony prompted and started walking again. Everyone followed.

They ran into Barnes first, who was sitting by a wall exactly outside the waiting room area of the infirmary. Out of sight of anyone who was inside, probably deliberately. His arm was still glowing, but not nearly as intensely as on the footage. He was staring at the wall opposite, his metal arm resting on his knee, his fingers twitching and shifting. He was keeping his distance, but staying close enough to hear if anything happened inside. Tony looked down at him for a moment, but he didn’t really have anything to say to him. Barnes didn’t acknowledge any of them either as they walked past him.

Vision stood by the door and immediately turned to them as they stepped inside. Thor and Wilson were standing by the reinforced glass sliding doors that separated this area from the actual infirmary. HELEN’s contamination protocol was created for obvious reasons, but Tony never expected it to be used this way.

‘Did he try to bust his way out?’ Tony asked.

‘Not just yet,’ Vision responded.

‘ _I can goddamn hear you, Stark_ ,’ Steve’s voice came as a reply from the speaker next to the door. The bite in his tone was palpable.

‘HELEN,’ Tony prompted.

‘ _Audio-feed offline_ ,’ the AI reported back.

‘I removed most things that could be used as weapons in advance,’ Vision told them.

‘And where are the twins?’ Barton asked.

‘Pietro’s tamper has risen fairly quickly, so they decided to leave,’ Vision answered.

So Steve said something to or about Wanda, that was about the only thing that really pissed Pietro off. Great.

‘Loki?’ Natasha asked as Strange walked further inside towards the infirmary.

‘My brother always preferred to think in peace and quiet,’ Thor said, turning away from the door to look at them.

‘ _Both Loki and Leah are on the communal floor,_ ’ HELEN reported.

There was a loud bang and they all turned back towards the door where Steve slammed the side of his fist down on the glass.

‘I think you should turn the audio back on,’ Sam said. ‘Trust me, he’s just gonna get more pissed.’

‘Angry Steve Rogers, my speciality,’ Tony said. ‘Turn the audio back on, HELEN.’

‘ _Done talking about me?_ ’ Steve asked right away.

‘Done being unreasonable?’ Sam asked before Tony could say anything.

‘ _You won’t listen to me!_ ’ Steve said angrily.

‘You’re not listening to yourself,’ Sam told him in return.

‘Fine, I’ll listen,’ Natasha said as she walked up to the glass door, only stopping right in front of Steve. ‘But first… you do know how you look, right?’

Steve stared ahead and he could probably see his own reflection in the glass separating him from the rest of them.

‘ _Yes, but--_ ’

‘Are you sure?’ Natasha asked.

‘Really? You think I can’t see all this?’ Steve asked, gesturing at his neck.

‘No,’ Natasha said, the word devoid of all emotions. ‘But do you know what I see? Someone out of control.’

Steve scowled down at her, eyes dark and face hard like steel, but there was no intimidating the Black Widow.

‘I don’t mean the obvious marks, Steve. You’re sweating, grinding your teeth, clenching your trembling firsts... if I didn’t know better, I’d be tempted to think you were a junkie desperate for a fix.’

Steve kept staring down at her, but he also forced his fists to stop shaking.

‘I don’t think you really looked at yourself.’

‘ _I am looking at myself_ ,’ Steve said.

‘No, stop looking at me and look at yourself,’ Natasha told him.

It took a second for Steve to drag his eyes away from her to focus on the shiny glass surface in front of him.

‘ _I’m... you gotta listen_ ,’ he said.

‘Don’t look at me, look at yourself,’ Natasha repeated the second Steve glanced at her.

Steve sucked in a breath and stared at his reflection in the glass.

Everyone was silent, they let the Widow do what she did best, because Tony was more than certain that Thor, Sam and Bruce, probably even Vision, did their best to keep Steve calm since he woke up, and they obviously didn’t have much luck. Natasha was different, she knew what to say to him, and she also knew that Steve would hear her soft and even voice much quicker than anyone else’s.

Steve kept looking at himself, then he licked his lips, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

‘ _I’m not safe to be around, am I?_ ’ he asked then.

‘No,’ Natasha responded, still with the same calm and certain tone.

‘ _Shut the audio down_ ,’ Steve said, turning away from them.

‘Steve--’ Wilson started.

‘ _Shut it down!_ ’ Cap yelled as he walked further back into the infirmary.

‘Do it, HELEN,’ Tony said.

Something cracked just outside the door and Tony knew without having to check that Barnes put a dent in his wall.

‘Well done,’ Thor said. ‘Everything we said just angered him more.’

‘It’s temporary,’ Natasha said in return. ‘And nothing’s fixed.’

‘Yeah, so how do we fix this?’ Sam asked, quiet and obviously worried.

‘I think I need to ask a few very important questions from Loki and this… Leah I’ve heard so much about,’ Strange said.

‘Sure,’ Tony shrugged. ‘Why don’t you take Thor with you? I don’t like those two being unsupervised for long.’

‘Your concern is perfectly understandable,’ Thor said. ‘But I am rather confident you have nothing to worry about at present.’

‘Can we worry about the future then?’ Clint piped in. Tony just lifted a hand and pointed at him in agreement, because he was so right.

Thor didn’t start arguing, because he probably didn’t have much to offer in terms of reassurances there.

‘I’ll lead the way, Doctor Strange,’ Thor said.

‘Anyone else interested in the magic-talk?’ Tony asked as Thor and Strange walked out of the room.

‘I’d rather stay as far away from Loki as possible, thanks,’ Clint said.

‘Same here,’ Bruce agreed. ‘And I have a feeling that most of it won’t make much sense to any of us.’

‘HELEN, tell Wanda that Strange is here, maybe she’s interested in what those two will talk about.’

‘She could take a look at what’s going on in Steve’s head,’ Natasha said quietly.

‘Let’s not make her poke at things we don’t know anything about,’ Sam said right away.

‘I agree,’ Vision said firmly. ‘A mental-link such as that seems rather hazardous, considering everything.’

And she would do it if they asked, so they shouldn’t ask it of her in the first place.

‘You’re not going?’ Natasha asked, looking back at Tony. ‘You’re usually first in line to get your hands on some answers.’

Tony looked at the sealed glass door and sighed.

‘Nah, I’m saying,’ he said, shrugging out of his suit jacket. ‘HELEN, scan everything you can scan on Capsicle from afar, monitor his vitals, the usual. We shouldn’t sit around expecting instant miracles from others.’

‘ _No, we really should not,_ ’ HELEN said in return.

‘Do we know if Vision’s at risk?’ Tony asked the room at large.

‘I was the one who brought him down here, and I experienced nothing out of the ordinary,’ Vision responded. ‘I am unlike anything else that exists as far as we are aware,’ he continued. ‘So let us hope that Chthon has no way to do this when it comes to me.’

‘Yeah, but what about the stone?’ Clint asked.

‘Good point, if this guy is as old as they say, he’s gonna know what it is,’ Sam added.

‘That question is of no less importance, but it remains yet to be answered,’ Vision agreed.

‘I’m starting to hate how long this list is getting,’ Tony said. ‘Especially since we expect Loki to give us answers.’

‘I don’t like it either,’ Natasha said. ‘But we’re going to take what we can get for now.’

‘Well, maybe we can get some things cleared up without our least favourite Asgardian,’ Tony said as he took a few steps backwards to get back out to the corridor, where Barnes was sitting on the floor.

‘So, Metallica, care to shed some light on what happened last night?’ Tony asked. ‘You can skip the X-rated bits.’

Barnes gave him a death glare, but Tony stood his ground.

‘Like you don’t have it on tape,’ Barnes said.

‘First of all, I know you’re almost a hundred, but still... “tape”? Really? Secondly, no matter how high-tech my cameras are, they don’t show what went down in your head and why. I don’t like assumptions, and that’s all we have. So start talking before Steve goes back to putting big and green to shame.’

Barnes leaned back to the wall and tipped his head back, taking a large breath.

‘We were asleep,’ he started. ‘Then Steve made a sudden movement, and it woke me up. His skin was too warm and he was breathing loudly… I thought it was just a nightmare.’

He licked his lips and stared at nothing in particular for a moment before he continued.

‘But then he wouldn’t wake up, and sometimes it’s hard to wake up from a nightmare, but something was wrong, I just knew something was wrong.’

His metal fingers clenched and the plates on his arm shifted, the whirr made Tony glance down at the faintly glowing symbols scattered on it.

‘Why did your arm start glowing when he woke up?’ Tony asked.

‘It’s protection,’ Barnes said, confirming their theory. ‘I knew it was Chthon, because it’s here to stop him from getting to me.’

‘Handy,’ Tony said. Barnes ignored the pun.

‘When you’re going to war, it’s good to have armour,’ he said.

‘Too bad Cap didn’t have one,’ Tony remarked pointedly.

‘I told him!’ Barnes exclaimed. ‘That’s exactly why I told him he shouldn’t… it was too risky, he had no protection, but he showed himself on the frontlines… he caught Chthon’s attention back in Detroit. I thought Loki managed to undo everything, but… obviously not.’

‘Maybe you should start doubting Loki more,’ Tony offered, but the only answer was Barnes’ death glare, which he somehow managed to turn up a few notches from before.

‘Fine,’ Tony told him. ‘But guess what, if Loki doesn’t pull some miracle out of his ass, it’s Cap who’s going to suffer for it.’

‘You think I don’t know that?’ Barnes asked dangerously.

‘He’s in this for you,’ Tony told him. ‘He took this risk for you, and not because he believes in whatever you’re fighting for, since I seriously doubt he knows a lot more than we do.’

‘I know that,’ Barnes said.

‘So, are you going to sit here wallowing in misery, or get on your feet to do something about fixing this?’ Tony asked.

‘There’s nothing I can do,’ Barnes said.

‘I sincerely doubt that,’ Tony answered.

‘An Elder God is like a force of nature, you can’t just... undo what they do.’

‘Yeah, and most people say you can’t move a mountain, but I think I could find a way, if I really wanted to. What about you?’

Barnes said nothing, so Tony walked back into the room. He wasn’t entirely sure what Barnes could do, but it had to be more than sitting outside the infirmary like a sad murderous puppy.

Sure enough, not even a minute passed and he heard heavy boots move down the corridor.

‘Keep an eye on him as long as he’s in the tower, HELEN,’ Tony instructed.

‘Let me know if he leaves the premises,’ Natasha added.

* * *

‘It can’t be viral,’ Bruce disagreed with him… again.

‘I didn’t say viral per se,’ Tony argued. ‘But maybe it just needed triggering. Maybe it’s been there since Detroit. Maybe it was lying dormant.’

‘You really think you will find a way to explain all this unnatural magic shit?’ Barton asked.

‘Nothing is unnatural,’ Tony said in return. ‘It’s just beyond the natural laws as we currently understand them.’ Then he turned to Bruce and added. ‘ _Nothing happens in nature which does not follow from her laws_.’

‘I hate it when you quote things at me,’ Bruce sighed. ‘Fine, but we don’t have the right tools to understand any of this.’

‘But we’re never going to have any tools if we don’t start somewhere.’

‘We might need to take some blood,’ Bruce said thoughtfully. ‘That blue colour looks like bruises, but it seems to follow the blood vessels underneath his skin. So maybe we can actually--’

They were interrupted by banging on the glass. Steve had his sweaty forehead pressed to the glass.

‘HELEN, sound,’ Tony instructed. Cap didn’t look murderously angry at the moment, but it was hard to tell what exactly he looked like.

‘ _I’m seeing things_ ,’ he said. ‘ _I... nothing is in here, right? I’m seeing things._ ’

‘ _You are alone, Steve_ ,’ HELEN confirmed.

‘What do you see?’ Natasha asked, standing right in front of him again. ‘Open your eyes, look at me... Steve.’

Steve kept his eyes closed, but he did start talking.

‘ _They’re at the edge of my vision... movement, but then I turn and nothing’s there, but I can almost feel it..._ ’

‘Steve, trust me buddy, there is nothing in there,’ Sam said. ‘It’s in your head.’

‘ _I know it’s in my head!_ ’ Steve snapped, his voice went from breathless to full shout in a heartbeat, but he quieted down just as quickly. ‘ _That woman from Detroit... I think I saw her... in a dream..._ ’

‘The woman that was actually some stab-happy Elder God?’ Tony asked.

‘ _No! Not Chthon, the woman_ ,’ Steve said. ‘ _Her voice was fading,_ ’ Steve added absently. ‘ _But I think I heard her... I didn’t understand what she said, but I think I heard it... just before I woke up._ ’

‘Do we have any idea who she is?’ Bruce asked looking at Tony, who shrugged. Nobody saw her in Detroit just Cap and Loki. Steve also shook his head, his forehead still pressed to the glass, eyes squeezed shut.

Natasha stared at him as she got her phone out. She searched for something, then pressed the screen to the glass.

‘Steve, look,’ she said, but Rogers didn’t move. ‘Steve, I need you to look! Is it her? The woman from Detroit, from your dream?’

It took another second, but Steve finally lifted his head to look at Natasha’s phone. Tony swallowed deeply and looked over to Bruce. There was some inky blue colour tinting Steve’s eyes now. It didn’t completely overtake all the white yet, but it was close. Shit, they didn’t have much time, did they?

‘Steve, your eyes,’ Sam said.

‘ _It’s her,_ ’ Steve said. ‘ _She’s older now, but I’m sure._ ’

Natasha took the phone back and pocketed it silently, shaking her head and murmuring something very quietly.

‘Tasha?’ Clint asked.

‘It would’ve been too much of a coincidence for two tall blonde women to appear out of nowhere at once, right in the middle of this,’ Natasha sighed. ‘It’s Yelena... of course it is.’

‘I’m sorry, I’m one step behind here,’ Bruce said.

‘She’s a Black Widow,’ Natasha answered simply.

‘ _I think she’s still alive_ ,’ Steve said. ‘ _I still heard her voice._ ’

He pressed his head to the glass again, his eyes falling shut.

‘ _His body temperature is spiking a little,_ ’ HELEN reported. ‘ _His heartbeat is irregular._ ’

‘Steve, maybe you should lie down, okay? How does that sound?’ Sam asked.

‘ _I’m gonna sit down for a bit_ ,’ Steve said, like he didn’t even hear him, as he slid down to the floor, turning around a little, so that his back was to the glass.

He was not raging anymore, but Tony started to think that this was not a good thing. His hands were itching to do something, anything. But of course he was forced to stand here like an idiot. He hated magic, whatever the hell is was, he just hated it.

‘ _Sergeant Barnes left the premises_ ,’ HELEN reported.

‘ _Bucky?_ ’ Steve asked. ‘ _Where’s... Bucky left?_ ’

‘He’s gonna come back,’ Sam told him right away. ‘Don’t worry about it.’

Natasha immediately turned to leave the room.

‘Which exit?’ she asked.

‘ _Garage exit, he took Steve’s motorcycle,_ ’ the AI added. ‘ _Unfortunately, he somehow did it without being detected. I only caught sight of him when he drove out_.’

‘Crafty bastard,’ Tony grumbled.

‘He’s not called a ghost for nothing,’ Clint commented.

‘Try to follow him on CCTV as long as you can,’ Natasha instructed. She stopped in front of Tony before she stormed out.

‘Keep him safe,’ she told him.

‘You know I will,’ Tony answered without hesitation. She nodded and left, Clint followed.

‘I’d offer to help follow him,’ Vision said. ‘But I think it’s best if I stay.’

‘I think he’s gonna come back,’ Bruce said. ‘What do you think he’s up to?’ he asked from Tony.

‘Hopefully something useful.’

He didn’t have much trust in Barnes, thanks to his budding friendship with the God of Property Damage and Assholery and all that Hydra brainwashing that still had to be in his head, but Tony doubted he bailed for no reason.

‘I’m gonna see what The Magic Circle is up to,’ Tony announced. ‘Try to take a blood sample, if Cap feels cooperative, we’ll see what that tells us.’

‘Vision can do it,’ Bruce nodded. ‘I’ll check for everything I can think of.’

He didn’t even ask Wilson whether he wanted to stay or not. Maybe he couldn’t do much, but hopefully it would mean something to Cap to see his friend right next to him, especially with Barnes and Natasha gone.

And Tony... it’s not like he had any solid idea that could actually help solve this problem, and Steve Rogers would sure as hell not want him around for moral support. He probably would have preferred if Tony hadn’t even seen him like this. That’s just how things were between them.

Still, Cap was Cap, and Tony would turn a lot of stones for him. If he couldn’t help, he could try and make someone else help him. Because somehow he didn’t believe that Loki was working all that hard on a solution just yet.

* * *


	42. Chapter 42

Loki wondered whether self-proclaimed heroes felt like this when some catastrophic emergency happened and suddenly everyone looked at them to solve all their problems in a blink of an eye.

They were probably less irritated.

‘Believe me, Stark,’ Loki said, trying to phrase his words in a way that would finally make them stick. ‘If I could undo an Elder God’s work with a flick of my wrist, I would, just to show that I can.’

‘Fine, there’s some heavy lifting involved then,’ Stark said. ‘But I don’t see you doing anything.’

‘Correctly identifying the problem is the first step in this matter,’ Doctor Strange answered. ‘We can’t just guess.’

‘So it’s not the same thing?’ asked Wanda, the little witch who’s been eyeing both Loki and Leah since she stepped into the room. Her brother stood behind her like a shadow, arms crossed and ready to pounce… ridiculously protective.

‘I mean the same as the men in Japan,’ she clarified. ‘Because it looks… similar.’

‘Unless you somehow failed to inform me that the valiant Captain America has been throwing up his own organs, no, it’s not the same thing,’ Loki told her.

‘Unnecessarily graphic, but we get the point,’ Stark said.

‘There is some… corruption going on, but that’s merely a visible sign of something else.’

‘Like a symptom,’ Strange added. ‘It gives us clues, but not the answer. Not right away.’

‘So you basically know nothing,’ Stark concluded.

‘I’m certain Loki will not allow someone like Chthon to declare victory over him this easily,’ Thor said meaningfully. Such an obvious lure, deliberate words to both praise and challenge him, it was so blatantly transparent that it was downright insulting... and yet he was right; Loki would not bow to Chthon so quickly. He needed to be shown that he was not just up against defenceless humans whom he could toy with as he pleased.

Loki gave Thor a smirk he hoped was just vague enough to frustrate him.

‘There are a few ways we could move forward, not necessarily pleasant for either us or the dearest Captain,’ Loki added.

‘You are not going to experiment on him,’ Stark said right away. ‘You can either do something or you can’t. If you can, you tell us, if you can’t, you’re not going anywhere near him.’

‘How impolite, is this any way to speak to the one you expect help from?’ Loki asked in return.

‘I think you’re full of shit and can’t help at all,’ Stark said. ‘Or you just don’t want to help, so you’re coming up with excuses.’

Loki had to laugh, because such deep anger on the face of a tiny mortal was so amusing. Of course Stark didn’t find it funny at all. Pity, Loki remembered him having a sense of humour even in the face of death. But maybe that was the problem; it was not Stark’s head under the hatchet.

Once Thor started look a little thunderous Loki went quiet.

‘I have the power to undo what I can see,’ Loki said. ‘But I have no way to find the source to eliminate it completely. It would be a temporary solution, like my previous one turned out to be.’

‘Wanda, is he telling the truth?’ Stark said. ‘We don’t have time running around in circles here.’

Wanda stared at Loki long and hard, then frowned. Did she really think it would be that easy?

‘There’s just silence, I can’t see or hear anything,’ she said. ‘How are you doing that?’

‘Oh, please,’ Loki scoffed. He felt like it was self-explanatory, because obviously he would never leave his mind unprotected, when he knew he had to deal with both demons and the likes of her.

‘And what about her?’ Stark asked, nodding at Leah.

‘Oh, I wouldn’t recommend it,’ Loki warned, but the witch already turned her gaze to Leah, only to jerk away her head a moment later, squeezing her eyes shut.

‘Wanda,’ her brother called, immediately alert.

‘Voices… so many,’ she whispered. ‘Hundreds… thousands… so many people.’

‘I suggest you stop,’ Leah warned as well, her tone less playful than Loki’s.

‘This whole thing became about a thousand times more suspicious,’ Stark said. ‘You okay Wanda?’

‘I’m fine, I just did not expect that,’ she said.

‘What on Earth are you?’ the brother demanded… Loki couldn’t recall a name, he kept calling him the quick silver one in his mind.

‘It is a fair question, brother,’ Thor said. ‘Since we have her in our midst.’

Loki sighed and looked at Leah. He would not say a word, but she could answer as she pleased.

‘I am no one,’ she said.

‘You gotta try a little harder than that,’ Stark said.

‘No, I am nothing, the shadow of a thing that does not exist...’ then almost as a whispery afterthought she added; ‘The echo of a sin not yet committed.’

The silence that followed her words was not at all surprising.

The twins looked at Stark, then at Strange, while Thor stared at Leah, then at Loki. There was a lot of staring, it made Loki huff and roll his eyes.

‘So as for our little predicament,’ he said.

‘Wait, hold on, we’re not just gonna leave this at that,’ Stark protested.

‘Would you really rather talk about Leah than Captain Rogers? I don’t think you have your priorities straight.’

Fortunately, that made Stark clamp his mouth shut for the time being.

‘Would you be able to undo what Chthon did, if you knew exactly what to look for?’ Thor asked.

‘I have no way to look for the source,’ Loki told him. ‘We do not know what the core of this... spell... corruption is. I am not even certain what to call it.’

‘No, you’re right, that is not a walkable path,’ Strange agreed.

‘That’s it?’ Wanda questioned. ‘So what are we supposed to do if you can’t do anything?’

‘That’s the key exactly, Miss Maximoff,’ Strange said. ‘Loki is not of Earth, but Chthon is, he is more tied to this world than any of us. His power is vastly different from anything an Asgardian would be familiar with. It comes down to compatibility, it doesn’t matter how good you are, or strong you are, if you don’t have the right tools to get something done. It’s like trying to catch a butterfly with a fishing rod.’

‘Crude, but apt comparison,’ Loki said.

‘But you are human, a sorcerer of Midgard,’ Thor said. ‘Do you have the right tools?’

‘In theory maybe’ Strange said. ‘But we can’t take a stab in the dark, because we might accidentally stab something vital.’

‘So how?’ Stark demanded.

‘That is where we’re stuck,’ Strange sighed. ‘Give us a few hours, we might be able to come up with something.’

‘Does Steve have hours?’ Stark asked right away. ‘With the way that blue keeps spreading under his skin?’

‘Leah?’ Loki asked.

‘He’s not dying... yet,’ she said. ‘I don’t think his death is the ultimate goal to begin with.’

‘How do you know?’ asked the silver-haired one.

‘I know,’ Leah answered, not even bothering to glance in his direction.

‘So what does he plan?’ Thor asked. ‘There must be a reason other than to weaken us by hurting one of our friends.’

To hurt James’ beloved Captain, Loki added in his head. Maybe it was a good enough reason, but Loki sincerely doubted it. Chthon couldn’t be that petty... although, his sister was a sore spot for him, and James’ loyalties had to be clear to him by now.

‘Maybe he’s already tired of his chosen,’ Leah said.

Loki hummed, considering that option... it was as good a guess as any.

‘Explain,’ Thor asked, keeping his tone polite instead of demanding... how thoughtful.

‘Mortal host-body,’ Leah clarified. ‘He cannot easily transfer all of his totality to these forms, and even a fraction can be too much to contain. Maybe he already wore the current one down, and wants something better.’

There was a beat of silence again before Stark exploded into words.

‘He wants Steve as some... goddamn meatsuit? Why didn’t you start with that?!’

Leah shrugged. ‘It’s just one of the many possibilities.’

‘He cannot manifest in his entirety in a host-body,’ Loki added. ‘But maybe he is getting impatient with the Darkholders and wants to finish whatever is left to be done personally.’

‘Or maybe he just wants to teach us a lesson,’ Leah said. ‘He wants to show us that we are powerless against him.’

‘But we are not,’ Thor declared, anger in his stormy blue eyes. ‘He will not take one of our own, we will not let him.’

‘A hammer is no more useful in catching butterflies than a fishing rod,’ Loki told him, still following Strange’s oddly fitting metaphor.

‘So how do you get a...’ Stark searched for words. ‘A butterfly net?’

‘No, I think what we need is a flycatcher... and bait,’ Strange said. ‘And I think we already have one of those.’

He turned to look at Wanda. Loki thought about it for a moment. The little witch with her power to dig deep into the minds of others, it certainly held possibilities.

‘And am I the bait or the flycatcher?’ Wanda asked with a tone that implied she did not care either way.

‘You are not anything until we have an actual plan instead of half-assed ideas,’ Stark said sternly.

‘James is the bait I presume,’ Loki said. ‘But that won’t work, he’s protected. Chthon knows he cannot touch him from afar.’

‘Is he now?’ Strange asked.

‘Plus he took off like an hour ago,’ Stark added.

‘What?’ Loki turned to look at him.

‘He hotwired Steve’s bike and took off,’ Stark repeated.

That was... unexpected. Loki tried to think of a reason why James would leave so suddenly. He knew it had to be connected to the Captain, but still... what was in New York? Was this merely an emotional outburst? Loki couldn’t completely dismiss the possibility, but it was much more likely that he was after something.

Oh, so full of surprises... Loki was actually curious now. He knew nothing of import that was in this city besides the Avengers themselves, but obviously there had to be something else. How intriguing it was that Loki never heard of it before. Just when he thought that he had a rather good grasp on James’ character. A secret he kept from Loki. Not that strange in and of itself, but it was a secret linked to either Chthon or... maybe Jord herself.

How peculiar, how exciting, how very like James to still surprise him. The thought made him smile.

He voiced nothing of what was going on in his head, because he saw no reason to.

‘Do you have any idea what he’s up to?’ Stark asked.

Loki just smiled. No, he did not know, and that was simply delightful.

* * *

They waited for James, but Strange still kept throwing ideas around in the meantime. Some of his theories sounded quite outlandish even to Loki, but Midgardian magic has always been such an unusual thing. He was also obviously quite set on saving Steve Rogers from this, but heroic types always were determined in such matters.

Stark left them alone after mentioning some blood test and Loki snorted after he turned his back, because really… what could that achieve? Nevertheless, he let them do whatever they wanted, since idle heroes were very frustrating, and had a tendency to opt for drastic measures. It was better if they kept themselves busy.

Loki suspected that James would not be away for long, and this was confirmed when Stark’s machine announced his return to the tower. He’s been gone for quite some time and Loki was so curious to find out what he’s been up to. So he was already up on his feet when James exited the elevator, marching in with intent, his boots sounding heavy on the marble floor.

His jacket was bloody, not overly so, but there was enough to make Loki arch an eyebrow at him. His hands were almost spotless on the other hand, so Loki knew he wore gloves. His face was damp with sweat, his hair messy, but not windswept… he must’ve worn a helmet as well, probably to hide his identity. He didn’t seem injured.

He carried a dark bag, similar to the ones he usually packed his weapons in, large but inconspicuous.

‘I’m afraid to ask what happened,’ Strange said as he watched James come closer to them. James kept his eyes on Loki as he approached the table in the dining area, so Loki followed him there, waiting to see what he brought back for them.

Leah walked with Loki like a silent shadow, and after a moment Thor, the twins, and Strange followed suit. Loki expected Stark to barge in any second, so he wasn’t surprised when the elevator dinged again while James was still in the middle of opening the bag.

It wasn’t Stark that stormed in though, but the Window. Her face was hard as steel, her eyes burning with fire. She was out of breath.

‘What the hell was that?’ she demanded to know. ‘Who was that?’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ James answered curtly.

‘Answer me,’ she ordered, she did not shout, but the strength in her voice made her loud regardless. James ignored her as he moved something around in the bag.

Natasha tensed in a way that made Loki narrow his eyes. Her body language meant that she was gearing up for a confrontation.

‘You think you can just go around killing people, and then walk back in here like nothing happened?’ she asked.

‘Person, not people,’ James said. ‘There was only the one.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ Natasha responded.

James pulled a box out of the bag and put it down on the table with care. Loki only saw it from the corner of his eye, because he kept his eyes on everyone else in the room.

‘What is that?’ Wanda asked, eyeing the dark wood and the heavy metal clasp that kept the box shut. It was rather wide, but not very tall, like a book.

Natasha walked closer to the table and James turned to face her, squaring his shoulders and staring her down. He was clearly not in the mood to stand around defending his actions. Loki could understand that all too well. It was a waste of time. James never did anything without a good reason. They all should’ve learnt that by now.

‘Everything Hydra made you do,’ the Widow started speaking. ‘I never though anyone should hold you accountable for it. But this?’ she shook her head. ‘This is all on you.’

‘Not your business what I do,’ James told her.

‘And Steve won’t be able to protect you forever from being hunted down like a murderer,’ she added.

‘I don’t need Steve to protect me,’ James said. ‘This is to protect _him_.’

‘Don’t even try to pretend Steve would want any of this.’

It was an obvious taunt and James took a step closer to her. Loki wasn’t sure if it was meant to be an attack, but the tension was too high between them to be interpreted in any other way. The Widow pulled her gun, which made James jump into action, trying to disarm her right away. She twisted out of his way and aimed a kick at his knee, but James dodged then used his strength advantage to knock her off balance. The Widow stayed on her feet, despite the hard shove, and lifted the hand that held the gun again.

Thor and Loki moved simultaneously, just a fragment of a second before the gun went off, the harsh noise exploding in the room. Loki paid little attention to Thor, because he knew he would aim to protect everyone around him, he was predictable like that.

Loki on the other hand, he felt a real burst of anger in his chest that went beyond mere annoyance. The Widow was very quick, for a human, but it took Loki less than a blink to close one hand around that little piece of metal that was still warm from the shot, and the other around her delicate neck.

He had no grudge against her, truly, she was cunning and deadly, but Loki had no patience for this. He pulled the gun from her hand, crushing it into a small mangled mess between his fingers as he stared at her face. She looked so angry and defiant.

Of course not even a moment passed when Thor’s hand gripped Loki’s forearm tightly.

‘Let her go,’ he said. The tone in his voice brooked no argument. ‘Now.’

‘I was not the one trying to shed blood,’ Loki spat, letting go of her and throwing the broken gun away. It was a little theatrical, but it got his point across.

He turned to look at James then. He was standing on his feet, so nothing vital was hit, but there was fresh blood on his neck where the bullet must’ve grazed him, and a darkness in his eyes that Loki saw less frequently nowadays than a few months back.

Thor said something to Natasha, but his words were too quiet for Loki to understand.

‘Where were we?’ Loki asked, making his tone perfectly pleasant. He enjoyed the way the twins turned to stare at him in unison, the expression on their faces louder than words.

‘I can’t help but feel that there is more to this than what we just witnessed,’ Strange said.

‘Of course there is,’ James answered, his voice surprisingly calm, especially considering the familiar glint of violence Loki could still see lurking in his eyes.

‘This has nothing to do with that guy’s brain splattered on the wall, this is all just about you, and me, and Yelena. You want to make me pay for what I did in the Red Room, fine! But I won’t let Steve pay the price for your revenge. I’ll give you a shot at settling the score later, and we’ll see how much you’ve learnt since the last time I shot you.’

James turned his back on her to get back to the wooden box on the table. It would’ve seemed bold after what just happened, but Loki still stood between him and the rest of the room, so he probably felt safe enough.

‘This is not about revenge,’ Natasha said to him. ‘But of course you wouldn’t see it any other way.’

She pulled her hand out from Thor’s gentle grip – he probably checked whether Loki injured her – then turned to leave.

Stark ran in just as she headed out. His eyes were wide and he seemed a little out of breath. He was obviously informed about the gunshot already, just from the look on his face.

‘Nobody’s dead,’ the quick-one reported.

‘That’s not what I heard from Barton,’ Stark said. ‘I mean Jesus Christ, Barnes. It’s one thing to know the assassin part in theory...’

‘Is it bad?’ Wanda asked. ‘Will they link it back to us?’

‘Not what I was worried about, but no,’ Stark said as he walked even closer.

James sighed.

‘It was a Darkholder,’ he told them all. ‘So good fucking riddance.’

Now that was certainly enough to draw Loki’s attention back to the matter at hand.

‘Do continue,’ Loki prompted.

‘No wait, let’s do this again from the top,’ Stark said. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but putting the murder aside for a moment; did you actually find something to help Cap or was this just extracurricular activity?’

‘You knew where to find a Darkholder all this time, and you did not bother mentioning it?’ Leah asked, her eyes narrowed.

Strange stared at the wooden box, then looked up at James.

‘Is that what I think it is?’ he asked.

James ignored the question and turned to Loki.

‘I asked you, way back when, whether a Darkholder or a page from the book would help us, and you said no.’

Loki shrugged. ‘And it’s true, the pages of the Darkhold are not connected to one another, and some run of the mill human who accidentally got a hold of a page could hardly lead us to the inner circle.’

‘It would’ve helped,’ Leah said. ‘Why would you keep this from us?’

James finally looked at her. ‘You really think I’m stupid enough to not keep an ace this big close to my chest?’

Loki chuckled in amusement and reached out to run a finger over the wooden box.

‘This is dangerous,’ Strange said. ‘And how will it help? What could this Darkholder do?’

‘Yes, good question,’ Stark added. ‘What exactly did Mr...?’

‘Dr. Viktor Osvald Kristensen,’ the AI interrupted. ‘He received the Dickson Prize in Medicine two years ago for stopping an infection outbreak in two hospitals.’

‘Wow, just wow...’ Stark reacted.

James ignored them both.

‘Miracle cure for mysterious sicknesses,’ he said. ‘He almost lost his license twice, then all of a sudden he’s the only one who can stop some deadly illness that made dozens of people sick overnight...’

‘You’re saying he made them sick in the first place,’ Strange said.

‘I don’t think normal doctors regularly have meetings with tall winged creatures oozing bugs... so yeah... and this,’ he added and flicked the box open.

Just as Loki expected, there is was a large worn page underneath a thick glass pane. He could feel the power radiating from it now that the box was open and Strange could surely feel it too.

‘So... how exactly do you think this will help?’ Loki asked.

‘The problem with Chthon is that we don’t know his power, but with this...’

‘We can’t use a page,’ Strange protested. ‘We all know what happens to most.’

‘Most are not Masters of the Arcane Arts,’ Loki pointed out. ‘So this doctor made humans sick to play the hero after.’

‘He didn’t just make them sick, he cured them too,’ James said as he reached out for the box. For a moment Loki thought he was about to remove the glass and touch the page, which would’ve been monumentally stupid of him, but he just pushed the top of the box aside to reveal a second storage portion, which also contained a page.

‘Two pages?’ Leah stared at James, incredulous. ‘And you left it in the hand of a Darkholder all this time? I cannot believe you.’

‘We had other priorities,’ James answered easily. ‘And look, I know what Chthon did to Steve is different, so fixing it would be different, but... it’s gotta be good for something, right?’

‘Wait, you did all this and you don’t even know if it will help?’ Stark asked.

‘You said I should do something, so I did. This was the only thing I could do.’

Loki eyed the pages, seemingly old and fragile, but the power contained in them... so different from the magic at his own fingertips.

‘What Chthon did is not a sickness,’ Strange said. ‘But it is corruption... it could be similar enough.’

‘So can you read it?’ Wanda asked.

‘It’s a little more complicated than that, but it could give me valuable insight into the workings of Chthon’s magic.’

‘No!’ Leah said right away. ‘Chthon can reach out to any Darkolder, you would blow open a door for him. It’s too dangerous.’

‘Could I do it?’ James asked immediately.

‘No,’ Loki shook his head. ‘The pages could be damaged from your touch, you are far too well protected from Chthon’s magic.’

Loki could sense a strange sort of temptation coming from the pages, a siren’s call, a great power right there for the taking...

‘We can’t let him do this to Steve,’ James said. ‘There’s gotta be something you can use this for. Anything!’

‘Is there a way to understand this magic without becoming a... Darkholder, as you call it?’ Thor asked.

‘I don’t think so,’ Strange answered.

‘So we’re back to having no solution at all,’ Stark said, frustrated.

‘I wouldn’t be that hasty,’ Loki mused. ‘All power comes with a price, but in the long run... oh well, fine.’

He reached out to the glass, but Leah grabbed his hand before he was anywhere near it.

‘Loki,’ she said with a warning very clear in her tone.

‘I said, fine,’ Loki repeated.

‘No, the risk is too great,’ she said.

‘It’s a calculated risk,’ Loki said.

‘No, it is not!’ she argued. ‘And it’s not worth it.’

‘Steve’s not worth it?’ James asked.

Leah sighed as she looked over to him. ‘I’m sorry James, I know how you feel, but Steve Rogers is not the centre of the universe. There are far greater things and bigger battles to think about. This is not the time to take unnecessary risks.’

‘Oh, but where’s the excitement if we’re always careful?’ Loki asked. ‘Come now, Leah.’

‘No, you can’t do this!’

Loki turned his hand around to take hold of her hand, catching her gaze with his own eyes.

‘Trust me for once.’

‘You thrive on chaos, you cannot be trusted,’ she snapped, yanking her hand away. She was so mad, Loki could almost feel her anger on his skin.

‘But what would happen if...’ Thor started, then he reconsidered his words. ‘What is the worst that can happen?’

‘Well, for one, I might die,’ Loki answered easily. ‘But I am not overly concerned about that.’

‘He could get in you head, learn all your secrets,’ Leah said. ‘He could undo the very thing you are, and you are a fool to even consider this. And it’s selfish of you to ask, James.’

‘Oh, but we all have things that make us selfish,’ Loki said, sliding both glasses aside. He didn’t just mean James, and Leah understood that.

‘Why do I have a feeling that this will not end well?’ the silver one asked, crossing his arms nervously... ah, Pietro, that was the name.

‘Are you sure about this, Loki?’ Thor asked.

‘Are we sure that we should let him do this in the first place?’ Stark asked. ‘This could blow up in our faces so damn quickly.’

‘Would you prefer I did nothing?’ Loki asked, smiling sharply. ‘Considering whose life is on the line?’

That made Stark close his mouth, but he was unhappy about it, and the glower he levelled on Loki made that very clear.

‘What should we do if something goes wrong?’ Thor asked.

‘You have so little faith in me, brother.’

‘My concern has nothing to do with faith,’ he replied. ‘Just tell me you know what you’re doing.’

‘I know exactly what I’m doing,’ Loki said. He knew very well that he was about to do something so foolishly dangerous that even the mere thought made his blood sing excitedly. The thrill was half the fun, but the power he could use once he conquered this was the real prize.

‘I owe you,’ James said, staring at him from across the table.

‘Yes, you do,’ Loki agreed before he reached out for the pages.

He wasn’t sure if it was Chthon he saw in his temporary female vessel, or if it was Mistress Death herself he caught a glimpse of, but there was someone watching as Loki’s mind went to an unknown, faraway place.

Power, right there for the taking, a flame that once would’ve consumed him, but Loki was fire now, and so much more than what he used to be. He could grab hold of this might and bend it to his will without Chthon’s chains wrapping around his mind. He could take this ancient knowledge locked in fickle paper and use it, twist it, transform it into something more befitting him.

The snarl of demons was too far away to matter, and Loki was too slippery for Chthon’s grasp. He was getting strong enough. He did not know when he touched the pages, he had no way to predict whether he would conquer or be conquered, but oh, he would conquer, he would make this fragment of Chthon’s power submit to his will or burn it into nothing.

There was a force that came to his aid... a force he did not recognize, but it felt like a part of him, an extension of him. It felt haunting, but absolute, the howl of a wolf on an endless frozen night, the rattling of chains and the biting touch of a beast’s poison, and deep dark water with glimmering scales lurking just below the calm surface... and oh, Leah... Leah... who kept secrets now?

His head was clear despite the vague sense of these visions at the back of his mind. There was a lot more to this, more than this small glimpse. There was a story here he did not know, a world beyond his understanding, and there was even more power, calling to him, waiting for him. This power had nothing to do with Chthon... and his heart was greedy, he wanted it, wanted to embrace it and make it his own, but he knew down to his very core, that he should not reach out towards it. That it would be the end... not his end, but still the end.

He stood by the table in the bright room of Stark’s metal and glass tower, the pages of the Darkhold nothing but ash beneath his fingers.

‘Loki?’ Thor said his name, he must’ve said it a few times.

Loki took one long moment to clear his mind and compose himself, then he straightened his back and relaxed his shoulders. He made sure his voice was both strong and nonchalant when he spoke, and not just for appearances sake.

‘Well, this was... odd,’ he said. ‘But I think I have a solution now.’

* * *


	43. Chapter 43

Bucky found Loki to be weirdly normal, maybe even a bit too chipper, considering how mad and worried Leah was about the pages of the Darkhold. Still, Bucky didn’t want to say that everything went without a hitch, because Leah was never worried for nothing. He wanted to speak to her, ask her questions he should’ve asked before, but of course his mind was pre-occupied with Steve and he couldn’t bring himself to focus on anything else.

‘So what exactly is the solution? Because what I said before still stands,’ Stark said. ‘You’re not getting anywhere near Cap, unless you speak up, Buttercup.’

He was a bit too late with that statement as they were all already standing right outside the infirmary. Well, on the corridor leading to the infirmary, but Stark standing in the doorway was hardly a giant obstacle.

Bucky couldn’t be truly mad at him right now, because it was Steve he was trying to protect... and he bodily stood in Loki’s way to question him. That took guts.

‘And what exactly makes you the primary authority on matters concerning him?’ Loki asked.

‘Brother, just tell us what you plan to do,’ Thor said.

Loki sighed… a little dramatically.

‘Why I will execute Doctor Strange’s plan, with the help of our little flycatcher,’ he said.

Wanda looked surprised for a moment, but then she seemed focused. Bucky liked her attitude.

‘What do you want me to do?’ she asked.

‘Find the source of Chthon’s magic in his mind,’ Loki said.

‘How? I wouldn’t know what to look for,’ she said.

‘I can show you,’ Loki said to her and tapped his temple with a finger in invitation. Wanda frowned, then focused for a moment, her face going a little dark from what she saw, then she started blinking suddenly, looking surprised.

Everyone waited for her reaction.

‘I didn’t know you could get a mental door slammed in your face,’ she said.

‘You saw enough,’ Loki told her.

‘I did,’ she confirmed. ‘How did he do that?’

‘There is very little limit to what he can do,’ Loki said.

‘Wanda, give us an update here,’ Stark asked.

‘If that’s really inside Steve, I can find it, but how do you take it out?’ she asked.

‘Leave that part to me,’ Loki answered easily.

‘This is a stupid idea, and you’re playing with fire,’ Leah said as she squeezed past Stark to get inside the infirmary. It seemed like she gave up on arguing with Loki, but she was not going to stop voicing her displeasure anytime soon.

Bucky knew that everything that happened to Steve threw a wrench in her plans in a big way, but he still couldn’t help but be a little miffed at her. Steve was helping them, that’s how he got into this mess in the first place. But what really mattered to her and what mattered to Bucky were very different things. He understood, in a way, and he had a pretty good guess on how she felt. Or maybe he was wrong and understood nothing. Leah was a mystery not easily solved. Bucky doubted even Loki knew everything about her.

‘So, how do we know if it worked?’ Stark asked.

‘If Wanda can see what is wrong, then she will also be able to see when the thing is gone,’ Thor said.

‘Also, once these things stop glowing we’re safe to assume that the danger has passed,’ Strange said, pointing at Bucky’s metal arm that started faintly glowing again as they were getting closer to the infirmary.

‘Remember what I did for you Stark? Or did you forget about that already?’ Loki asked. Stark probably really wanted to forget about all that, but there was no chance in hell for that with Loki.

In the end Stark turned to get inside, getting out of their way, but grumbling something quietly as he did.

‘I was starting to wonder how long you will be standing outside talking,’ Banner said.

Bucky stayed in the doorway of the infirmary after everyone walked inside, to keep his distance from Steve. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him again.

‘Have you come to an agreement?’ Vision asked.

‘If you can call it that,’ Stark answered unhappily.

Barton and Wilson were standing by the glass, while Natasha kept to the side, watching everyone with her back to the wall.

‘Is this gonna be the same drill as with Tony?’ Bruce asked then.

‘Far from it,’ Loki said. ‘I’ll keep my distance until the right moment.’

‘That seems a little dangerous for Wanda,’ Stark said.

‘I’ll be fine,’ she said right away.

‘I’ll stay close,’ Strange said. ‘Just in case I’m needed.’

‘And so will I,’ Vision declared.

‘If it makes you feel better,’ Wanda said as she walked closer to the glass. ‘What happened?’ she asked.

‘He’s just asleep,’ Bruce said. ‘He was getting erratic again, so...’

‘He agreed to sleep,’ Sam hurried to add. ‘We didn’t force any sedatives on him or anything.’

Bucky moved a little to catch a glimpse of Steve on one of the beds. The sickly dark blue colour spread everywhere underneath his skin, but seemed to cover his neck and face almost completely. The sight of him made Bucky’s throat go tight with worry. It also made him very-very angry.

‘Is that a good idea?’ Stark asked.

‘It hardly matters at this point,’ Loki shrugged.

‘Does he need to be awake for this?’ Sam asked. ‘Cause he might not be in a cooperative mood.’

‘It shouldn’t be a problem if he’s asleep,’ Wanda said. ‘At least I don’t think so.’

‘No, so go on ahead,’ Loki prompted.

Vision led the way into the closed-up section of the infirmary, Wanda and Strange followed. Pietro also positioned himself pretty close inside the glass walls, not that it would be a problem for him to get closer immediately if something happened.

Loki stepped inside last.

‘Maybe close the door,’ he instructed mildly.

‘HELEN,’ Tony said, giving his consent, and the glass door immediately slid shut behind Loki.

Bucky was tense and he really wanted to be closer. He wanted to see better, and wanted Steve to be able to see him in return, but he knew he couldn’t risk getting any closer. If whatever Chthon did grew stronger in the time Bucky was gone, then the magic embed in his arm might react from a much larger distance. He wasn’t sure, but he kept his distance to be on the safe side.

Wanda walked closer to Steve, quietly, to not wake him up. She stopped a step away from the bed and lifted a hand. Scarlet magic flared up between her fingers, spreading over to Steve in swirling lines. Then she shut her eyes a moment later to concentrate.

Everyone waited for something to happen in tense silence. Bucky was too far away to see any changes on Steve’s face, so he could only watch out for any movements he made. There was nothing at first, just the bright light of Wanda’s magic whirling around his head.

‘It will be something specific,’ Loki said, probably growing impatient. At least he kept his voice down. ‘Search for an emotion, a memory, something that would be almost impossible to take away from him. It will be anchored to that.’

It took another few long minutes for something to happen, but when it did, it happened fast.

Steve abruptly sat up in the bed, his hand lashing out towards Wanda. She had her eyes closed, so she did not see it coming, but Vision immediately pulled her back a little, keeping her out of Steve’s reach, Pietro was already standing next to them too before Bucky could blink. Steve shook his head as he looked around, but the red magic was still all around his head.

‘I found it,’ Wanda said.

‘Pull,’ Loki said. ‘Bring it to the surface.’

At Loki’s voice Steve abruptly turned to stare at him. Wanda did something, but Steve was already off the bed, leaping across the room. Something dark started spreading out on his face and neck, seeping through from underneath his skin, dark and thick like tar. Wanda’s red magic vanished and Steve slammed into Loki, smashing through the glass wall, both of them hitting the floor.

Bucky’s arms flared up with bright light so he quickly took a few steps back.

‘Stay back!’ Strange yelled as he spread his arms. The amulet around his neck lit up with light, and glowing circular wards appeared out of thin air a second later everywhere around Loki and Steve.

The black thing, a growing pulsing mass, started to detach a little from Steve, taking on a shape. It was still connected to him by Steve’s neck and back, but most of it was separate now, a protruding form leaning over him.

‘I said, stay back!’ Strange yelled again, louder this time. Bucky didn’t know who tried to move, maybe Thor, maybe Vision, but whoever it was, they listened to the warning.

Bucky thought Steve was maybe stronger than he should’ve been. The glass shouldn’t have broken from the impact, not with Steve’s usual strength. It didn’t matter though, Loki still easily flipped them around, pinning Steve down while the black mass shifted and grew. Something resembling a head and two clawed arms appeared, then there was a demonic shriek as the thing launched at Loki.

It didn’t slash and claw at him, but latched onto his arms and chest, black tendrils spreading out over his uncovered upper-body. It was not a creature or demon Bucky knew. It reminded him of black seaweed swirling in dark water, but he couldn’t recall where he saw something like that before with his own eyes.

As the thing trashed and spread over to Loki there was a gathering of shadows in the corner of Bucky’s eye. It was not the thing’s doing, because it happened outside of the wards, where Leah stood with her arms tightly crossed, silent and motionless. He was not the only one who noticed, because several of the Avengers were throwing glances in her direction.

Bucky really hoped Loki knew what he was doing.

‘Are we just going to stand here?’ Wilson yelled.

Loki’s magic finally flared up bright underneath his skin. He put a knee on Steve’s chest to keep him pinned, while he rose up as much as he could, pulling the black thing along. There was a long moment where Steve still fought, trying to get out from under the considerable weight Loki was putting on him, but then Loki stood and stumbled back, taking the whole black mess with him. The last of the dark tendrils still connected to Steve finally detached and tore off of him.

Steve went very still, but Bucky couldn’t see his face, so he couldn’t tell if he was unconscious or not. Bucky’s arm was still glowing and the thing was now firmly attached to Loki, spreading out rapidly.

‘Grab him!’ Wanda shouted. ‘It’s gone, grab him!’

Vision moved immediately, reaching into the warded area to pull Steve away from Loki and the thing. Strange didn’t try to stop him, so he trusted Wanda’s words.

Steve being safe lifted one huge weight from Bucky’s heart, but the pulsing dark mess was not gone.

‘ _Dorebasa_ ,’ the thing hissed in Loki’s face in a ragged distant voice, a face emerging from the swirling black tendrils, just a mouth and two empty eye sockets.

‘Never,’ Loki spat, then flames erupted around them, engulfing him whole and the black thing with him. The wards flashed up brightly in return, keeping the fire contained within invisible walls, so all any of them could see was a misshapen cube filled with bright swirling flames.

Bucky was too well-trained to actually hold his breath, but he did go still for the long moments it took for the flames to vanish. Loki was unharmed, of course, his skin untarnished, the black tendrils gone. Bucky almost expected him to be naked, with the fire and all, but the pants were still in place, if only that. All his bandages burnt away and his wounds were all healed now too. His hair looked more orange than red while the flames were present, but when they started to shrink it immediately turned back to its normal shade.

Strange didn’t lower the wards right away, because Loki’s left arm was still on fire, the flames tinted with black, tendrils still moving and shifting on his skin underneath it. But as the flames shrunk so did the darkness, slowly growing smaller and smaller until there was only a tiny fire in Loki’s palm, black tendrils trashing around in it.

Bucky really hoped the thing suffered.

Loki stared at the small fire in his hand for a moment, then rolled his right shoulder languidly, like he was loosening a stiff muscle. His right arm started going blue after a second, raised lines appearing on his skin, his nails going black. It was a sight Bucky was familiar with, although the change only went as far as his shoulder. It spread over to his neck and face a little though, even his right eye got tinted with red. Loki rolled the small fire over into his blue right hand, and the flames got engulfed in ice, trapping the remaining dark tendrils in a small globe of ice, cold vapour swirling around it.

Strange lowered his hands and the wards vanished.

‘Steve, can you hear me?’ Vision asked and within a second almost everyone in the room gathered around Steve, Bucky could only see the top of his head and his feet, nothing more. He heard several of them talking in quiet voices, but he didn’t pay attention to what they were saying. He also didn’t feel like shoving anyone out of the way to get closer, so he walked to Loki instead, because he was weirdly still.

Leah moved while Bucky wasn’t paying attention to her. She went over to the wooden chest she brought over from their hideout, still standing in the infirmary, completely unaffected by everything that’s been going on. She took two small disks out of it, then slammed it shut and hurried over to Loki. She held the small disks on her palms and reached out for the globe. Loki let it roll out of his hand and into her grasp, where it was quickly encircled in a small electric charge and a glowing barrier.

‘You have a thing for everything,’ Bucky remarked.

‘There are many things that are far too dangerous to touch, it’s better to be prepared,’ she said.

The blue disappeared from Loki’s skin, but he was still oddly silent.

‘Loki?’ Bucky called his name, wanting some indication that everything was done and over with. Loki turned his head a little to look at him and the movement made him stagger on his feet. Bucky put out his arm reflexively to keep him from falling. It was enough for Loki to find his balance again.

‘Sit down, will you?’ Bucky prompted. He was surprised when Loki listened and actually lowered himself onto the floor. He probably preferred to sit down out of his own will rather than have everyone see him stumble and fall.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine!’ Steve said, loud enough to be heard over the chatter that was still going on between the Avengers. He sounded exasperated, probably already annoyed by being fussed over. He sounded fine, so Bucky relaxed further.

Sure, he would’ve preferred to check up on him right away, but he had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from reaching out to him, to touch him, maybe even to embrace him. He just couldn’t do that right now. Not with everyone in the room. It made his skin crawl to picture being that… vulnerable in front of Stark and Natasha and the rest of the lot. He had to wait to do all that later, in private.

‘You really did it,’ Bucky said.

‘Was there ever any doubt?’ Loki asked in return. His tone made Bucky huff.

‘None whatsoever,’ he said. He was normally not into feeding Loki’s ego, but he kinda deserved it right now.

Thor, obviously satisfied that Steve was okay, turned to walk over to them, getting down on one knee in front of Loki, and Bucky who was crouching next to him.

‘You have done a great deed, brother,’ he said. ‘And I know it had nothing to do with me,’ he added, putting his hands up. ‘But I thank you all the same.’

Loki made a considering sound, but said nothing in answer. Thor kept staring at him.

‘Are you well?’ he asked. He probably realized that Loki was not sitting on the floor to be comfortable.

‘I just slapped an Elder God in the face,’ Loki said. ‘I feel magnificent.’

Yeah, Bucky bet he did, his every word was dripping with satisfaction.

‘It was still stupid,’ Leah said, although her anger was obviously gone now. ‘But well done.’

‘You should have faith in me,’ Loki told her.

‘I do, Loki,’ she answered right away. ‘You know that.’

‘But you worry,’ Loki said, reaching out to touch the back of her hand with his fingers.

‘If I don’t, no one will, not even you,’ she stated plainly. ‘I’ll lock this up,’ she added, nodding her chin at the ice globe she was still holding, then turned around to take it to her wooden chest. Bucky was convinced the thing had and endless bottom, because Leah never ran out of space.

‘What are you planning to do with that?’ Thor asked.

‘We will use it to find the inner circle of Darkholders we’ve been hunting for so long,’ Loki answered. ‘And through them we will find Chthon in his current host.’

‘Can we really do that?’ Bucky asked, surprised.

‘We have a live, pulsing piece of Chthon’s power, it’s connected to him in ways none of the pages of the Darkhold are. We’ll track them down with it.’

Bucky felt something like excitement rise up in his chest. They’ve been trying to find them for a really long time now. DeGuzman, Hubris, and Grahl, the final three Darkholders who orchestrated this. They were the only ones left with enough power to help Chthon come back to Earth. If they could find them, they could stop them. Darkholders were still human, no matter how strong, and Bucky had some high calibre bullets with their names written on it.

‘Did you just turn the tables?’ he asked.

Loki rolled his head to the side to look at him, wearing a smirk on his face.

‘We did,’ he said. Bucky lifted an eyebrow in question. Loki laughed, loud and gleeful. ‘Oh, tribute to whom tribute is due,’ he said. ‘You brought the pages.’

His laugh must’ve drawn the attention of everyone in the room, because there was suddenly a lot less attention on Steve and a lot more on them.

‘What was that thing?’ asked Pietro, standing a bit closer to them now.

Bucky had no idea, so he stayed silent.

‘There are many names that can be used,’ Strange said. ‘I personally prefer doppelgänger.’

‘It didn’t look like Steve,’ Natasha said. This was the first time she spoke since Bucky entered the room.

‘No, not yet,’ Strange agreed. ‘It would’ve eventually, it wasn’t fully… grown yet.’

‘So it would’ve turned into some... clone?’ Barton asked. ‘Some evil twin?’

‘I never had to deal with one personally,’ Strange said. ‘But other sorcerers at Kamar-Taj had some stories to share. A doppelgänger resides in its host for quite some time, absorbing DNA and memories, learning who the victim is. Then once they’re fully grown they detach from the host and dispose of them to take their place. If the stories I’ve heard are true they quite literally… uhm, consume them.’

‘Consume,’ Sam repeated.

‘Yes, I mean that in the bloodiest, and most literal sense,’ Strange said.

‘It wasn’t very subtle,’ Natasha said. ‘We knew something was wrong, even before Steve started acting weird; that makes no sense.’

‘That was the magic in Loki’s blood interfering, it must’ve struggled to grow from the beginning,’ Leah said as she returned to Loki’s side.

‘That’s pretty scary to think about,’ Banner said.

‘Bucky would’ve known all the same, right?’ Steve asked, finally speaking up. The others were no longer blocking his view, so Bucky could look at him now. He seemed tired, worn out, and very grim.

‘Oh, and would you have all believed him… us?’ Leah asked in return.

The silence they received as answer was telling, even if it did not last long.

‘How did you know what it was?’ Strange asked, turning to Loki. ‘Our theories were very far from reality.’

‘I didn’t know what it was exactly,’ Loki said in return. ‘Not until she pulled it out. But I knew it was not just some corruption or a demon. It was an actual living piece of Chthon, a part of his power, a manifestation of his will, connected to him even from afar.’ He smiled. ‘I recently became very knowledgeable in how to find the trace of something like that, so I showed it to her.’

‘Why go through all this trouble to make some… evil Steve?’ Stark asked.

‘You mean, why plant a powerful mole in the midst of his enemies?’ Bucky asked. ‘That should be obvious.’

‘He made it a choice,’ Steve said with a frown. ‘He gave me an out and I didn’t take it. So I guess it was a payback too... or a lesson.’

‘When the hell did that happen?’ asked Stark.

‘In a dream, he… I barely remembered it before, now it’s clearer. He was dreamwalking, I guess, that seems to be a popular thing to do lately,’ he said, scowling a little in Loki’s direction, which definitely didn’t escape anyone’s attention.

‘What else did he say?’ Bucky asked.

‘He told me you work for an Elder God,’ Steve said. ‘Chthon’s sister, that true?’

To be honest, this was not something Bucky wanted to advertise, but there was really no way to dodge the question, and he didn’t want to lie to Steve’s face.

‘Yes,’ he confirmed, but offered no further explanations.

Steve’s expression was not easy to read. It seemed like he wanted to say something more about this, but thought better of it, and turned to look at Loki instead.

‘He also told me why you’re helping,’ he said.

‘Considering the things he did to you, maybe it is not very wise to listen to the things he whispered in your ear,’ Loki told him.

‘He said you’re in this because you want to kill him,’ Steve continued, ignoring Loki’s words. ‘You want to take all his power for yourself. That’s how it works, that’s why the Elder Gods killed each other.’

‘Wait, run that by me again. Are we talking about some Highlander deal here?’ Stark asked.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Doctor Strange said, looking at Steve. ‘Captain, you cannot kill an Elder God.’

‘Yeah? Not even if you work for Death?’ Steve asked in return, still looking at Loki.

Loki’s good mood was evaporating, which was never a pleasant thing.

‘Death?’ Natasha questioned.

‘Mistress Death,’ Steve said. ‘Trust me, it’s the real deal. Chthon summed her in Detroit.’

‘Loki went through a great deal of trouble to save your life,’ Leah said, her voice cold. ‘Maybe you should keep that in mind before you continue.’

‘No-no, I am quite curious to hear what he has to say,’ Loki said. ‘Pray tell, what else did Chthon convince you of?’

‘He didn’t convince me of anything,’ Steve said, not making any attempt to get to his feet. He stayed on the floor, with his back to the wall, still surrounded by most of the Avengers. ‘He just told me a few things.’

‘Which you believed,’ Loki said.

‘Steve, you have not seen the beast Wanda and my brother pulled out from underneath your skin,’ Thor interrupted. ‘Chthon meant you harm, we can all be certain of that.’

‘I know Chthon’s bad,’ Steve said. ‘It’s pretty obvious... but I’m also worried about you, and what you will do once you’ve killed him.’

‘That’s not the plan,’ Bucky said, then he looked at Loki for confirmation. ‘We have to stop him before he can actually get through.’

Loki turned his head to glance back at Bucky, his expression long-suffering. He was probably a hair away from rolling his eyes and scoffing out a derisive “Obviously”. No, Loki would not risk letting Chthon through just for a chance to kill him, he was not that stupid. Bucky was pretty sure of that.

‘My brother tries to--’

‘No, I owe them no explanation,’ Loki interrupted harshly before Thor could continue, finally getting to his feet. Bucky straightened up too. ‘If the Captain would rather take Chthon’s word over mine, he is welcome to be foolish enough to do so.’

There was so much threat and latent anger in his voice that it made Bucky tense. He was not the only one, because the mood in the room shifted immediately, like everyone was waiting to jump into action at the first sign of an attack.

‘But the next time he sends a bloodthirsty creature that would tear the flesh from your bones, that would strangle your precious friends in their sleep… I will not save you.’

There was real power in the air now. Bucky had no magical aptitude or whatever the hell that was called, but it put his senses on edge all the same. Maybe because he was so familiar with Loki’s magic by now.

‘Maybe I should’ve let him do it this time around,’ Loki added. ‘For you offer nothing but scorn as gratitude... but that’s what you get from self-proclaimed heroes.’

Bucky opened his mouth to comment on that one, but Loki silenced him with a look. Right, if they had something to say to one another, they should do that without unwanted ears around. That’s always been an unspoken rule between them. And to be fair, Bucky really didn’t feel like talking openly in front of everyone in the room.

‘Don’t pretend you’re innocent,’ Natasha said. ‘That we have no reason to be cautious.’

‘The more you speak the more reasons you’re starting to have,’ Loki said in return.

‘Loki,’ Thor said calmly, not yet a threat, but still a mild warning. Bucky had a feeling Loki would still not like it.

‘No, I’ve had enough,’ Loki said. ‘If Chthon fears for his life, all the better for us, but I don’t need some Midgardian god’s power,’ he spat out the last part like it was a mortal insult. ‘I am Loki, and I have all the power I need already right at my fingertips. Keep that in mind.’

Then he left, vanished after his skin lit up with a fire much milder than the one he used to subdue the doppelgänger.

‘Great,’ Leah huffed.

‘HELEN?’ Stark asked.

‘ _I cannot detect him anywhere in the tower, or in its vicinity,_ ’ the AI replied dutifully.

‘Do you know where he could’ve gone?’ Thor asked, looking at Bucky and Leah.

‘Wouldn’t that be convenient?’ Leah asked. ‘No, of course I don’t know. Anger makes him unpredictable, you should know that by now.’

‘Well, that’s just perfect,’ Barton mumbled.

‘I doubt we can find him, so we’ll have to wait and see,’ Natasha said.

‘You just had to climb up on a fucking high horse and start preaching,’ Bucky said to the room at large, not looking at anyone, but it was clear whom he was talking to.

Steve moved to get up from the floor.

‘Whoa, you sure you’re feeling all right?’ Sam asked him, staying close by. Steve waved him away.

‘Loki with the power of an Elder God is not something we can just shrug off,’ Steve said. ‘There’s no “it’s gonna be fine, we’ll figure it out”. This is something to think about now, while it’s not too late to do something about it.’

‘That’s _not_ the plan,’ Bucky repeated, a bit more agitated now.

‘Not your plan, but are you really sure about Loki?’ Steve asked.

‘Ugh, unbelievable,’ Leah scoffed, then marched out of the room. Bucky forgot about the shadows that gathered around earlier, but he remembered when the room got brighter once she left. Again, he was not the only one who noticed.

‘He took a big risk to help you,’ Bucky said. ‘Leah didn’t want him to do it, wanted to cut our losses, but he said fine, and did it anyway.’

‘Look, I’m grateful, Buck, but...’

‘But what?’ Bucky asked. ‘Captain America too good to say “thank you” now?’

‘That’s not the point. That’s not what this is about, you know that.’

‘Do I?’

‘This is much bigger than anything we’ve ever faced before,’ Steve continued. ‘Chthon barely lifted a finger in Detroit and you know what he did to the city... and to me. We are, all of us, way over our heads, so damn right I’m gonna demand some answers. I’m not going to lose anyone over this, just because Loki bit off more than he can chew with his deal with Death.’

Bucky stayed silent for a bit, letting the words move around his head a little. Steve walked closer to him. He was steady on his feet, but he looked worn out and pale, so he was far from okay.

‘We gotta stop Chthon and the Darkholders,’ Steve said. ‘We all agree on that one, but there is something else going on too, and I’m not sure even you know what that is.’

Bucky frowned and shook his head lightly.

‘Bucky?’

‘No,’ he said plainly.

‘No, you don’t know what he’s up to?’ Sam asked to clarify.

‘No, I’m not listening to this,’ Bucky answered in return.

‘Are you serious? This is Loki we’re talking about, he’s got some plan, just think about it!’ Stark said, probably no longer able to keep his mouth shut. But his loud interruption just reminded Bucky of all the eyes locked on him, all these people he did not know and did not trust.

‘No, screw this,’ he said again.

‘Why would you trust him?’ Natasha asked. It actually sounded like a real question instead of an attempt to make him see the error of his ways.

‘Because he gave me no reason not to,’ Bucky said simply. Loki didn’t screw him over, not once. Sure, there was always a chance, he knew that, but it didn’t happen yet. And until that day came Bucky would not screw him over either. He couldn’t, he didn’t want to, because if he gave Loki even one reason to stop trusting him, if they started doubting each other’s word on things like this, it was all down the drain.

No, he won’t do that. So he wordlessly walked out to find Leah. It was probably best to stick together until Loki returned, then they could figure out what to do next.

Steve didn’t call his name, which was good, because the silence helped keep his stiff muscles moving. It was hard to walk away from Steve, but he knew that if he kept arguing with him it was going to hurt a lot more than leaving the room did.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: _Dorebasa_ = Obey


	44. Chapter 44

Steve holed up on Tony’s floor as soon as he was deemed fine enough to leave the infirmary. The others probably thought it was an odd choice, since things between Tony and Steve were always complicated. But Steve’s own floor was trashed, and he had a feeling that if Loki returned he would end up on Thor’s. Plus Tony’s floor had a bar and Thor’s Asgardian liquor.

Steve really needed a drink right now. He didn’t know why Thor was so set on keeping him company, but he was grateful for it. He was not in a very social mood, so it was probably not the best idea to actually stay alone with his thoughts. Thor was one of the better options.

At first they just drank in silence, but of course Thor had things to say.

‘Guilt clouds your thoughts,’ he said. ‘Much darker clouds than warranted.’

‘Am I ungrateful?’ Steve asked him in return. ‘When it comes to the things others do for me?’

Steve did not think so, but for most of his life he was forced to face hardships on his own. Bucky was always there for him, of course, but they never made a big deal about favours. Sometimes Bucky wouldn’t even allow him to say thank you. He probably knew how difficult it was for Steve to admit that he was dependent on his help back then. He often scowled and shook his head at Steve’s “stupid pride”, but he understood it all the same.

But that was back then, this was now. Things were different.

‘Not at all my friend,’ Thor answered. ‘But you have the mind of a strategist. You were thinking two steps ahead.’ Thor said. ‘And you also have very little concern for your own well-being.’

Steve wasn’t sure how that was relevant here.

‘Your friend James is not like that, I believe,’ Thor continued. ‘He was more focused on you than anything the future might have in store for us. I do not think he was angry because of your disagreement with Loki.’

‘I don’t know, Thor,’ Steve sighed. ‘Sometimes I think I know what’s going on in his head, but other times I’m completely lost.’

‘He is not the man he used to be, from what I understand,’ Thor said. ‘You are still learning who he is now, so mistakes are bound to be made. That is inevitable.’

Steve was both sad and frustrated about this. Things with Bucky used to be easy... this was anything but easy.

‘This had been difficult for all of us,’ Thor added. ‘He was probably more harsh than intended.’

It was kind of Thor to say these things, but Steve wasn’t sure he was ready to believe him. But he stayed quiet, not in the mood to argue. He felt Thor’s eyes on him, but he just silently took another sip from his glass.

‘There are many things that can struck a nerve with Loki, and your friend probably knows this,’ Thor continued. ‘You happened to stumble upon one of them, but the fault lies not with you. Loki will calm down, hopefully.’

Steve sighed. He probably sounded extremely tired at this point.

He heard someone approaching, soft but intentionally noisy steps... his money was on Natasha. Thor fell silent and turned a bit after a second, probably hearing her as well.

‘I can come back later,’ Natasha offered.

Steve shrugged.

‘You are always welcome, Natasha,’ Thor said gesturing at the bar. Both Thor and Steve had a drink, so Natasha went to make one for herself too, probably out of solidarity. Steve caught the scent of vodka and raspberries.

Thor continued talking as Natasha prepared the drink for herself.

‘Besides, I do think this still had more to do with me than you.’

Natasha pulled up a stool to sit in front of Steve and Thor on the other side of the bar, her attention on Thor, listening carefully.

‘In the past I often failed to acknowledge the things my brother did for me. I dismissed his involvement, proudly boasting that his meddling made no difference.’

‘Are you sure he was not just guilt-tripping you?’ Natasha asked.

‘I used to be a different man,’ Thor said to her. ‘You have not had the misfortune of witnessing it. I am not proud of these things…’ he sighed. ‘My arrogance, my thirst for battle, and my many harsh words. It was unjust of me, to belittle him so, especially in front of others.’

‘And Loki holds grudges,’ Natasha added. They all knew that by now. If there was one thing to learn from the whole mess with Amora, it was that.

‘That he does,’ Thor agreed. ‘Fiercely. That is why I made a point of thanking him for what he did, but it probably mattered as little as when my Mother thanked him on my behalf.’

‘What, so Bucky was mad on Loki’s behalf?’ Steve asked. That didn’t sound right.

‘I don’t think so,’ Natasha said. ‘You almost died, Steve. And by the time Strange’s amulet stopped glowing you were already back to business, acting like nothing happened.’

Steve didn’t know what to say to that, and Natasha continued.

‘And we like it or not, they have an alliance going on. You basically asked him to turn his back on it, right after Loki did a huge favour for him.’

‘I did not,’ Steve protested. ‘I just wanted some clear answers.’

‘Doubt is the beginning of the end,’ Natasha said. ‘The second you started doubting SHIELD, you knew you couldn’t trust them at your back, you knew you couldn’t work with them the way you did before.’

‘Your friend is very set on completing what he had started,’ Thor nodded. ‘Maybe he is weary of jeopardizing what he achieved, especially so close to being finished.’

‘But that’s the problem, isn’t it?’ Steve asked. ‘We need to decide whether we can let them finish this.’

Thor looked down at his glass and nodded to himself. He stood up and drank what was left from his drink.

‘I will attempt to speak with Lady Leah,’ he said.

‘You think you’re going to get anything out of her?’ Natasha asked.

‘Maybe, maybe not,’ Thor said. ‘But she seems to be of a very practical nature, so I feel rather good about my chances.’

Steve was not so sure about that. That girl was a steel trap of secrets with the face of a marble statue. But sometimes Thor was really good at getting information out of people in a very casual way. They were never suspicious of his intentions.

‘I’ll let you know if I find anything out,’ Thor said as he clapped Steve’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze.

Steve was slowly sipping his drink as Thor walked away, but he looked up at Natasha when the heavy footsteps finally faded.

‘I don’t blame him,’ Natasha said. ‘James, I mean. I’d pick Loki over Hydra any day too.’

‘Really?’ Steve asked, a little surprised.

‘The sceptre aside, which he no longer has, what’s the worst thing that can happen with Loki?’

‘He’s going to betray and kill you?’ Steve asked in return, saying the obvious answer out loud.

‘Exactly,’ Natasha nodded. ‘Death, that’s your worst case scenario… and we all know there are worse things than that. James had been through a lot. I guarantee you; he wished he were dead a hundred times over while he was Hydra’s prisoner. Probably up until they made him forget he was a prisoner.’

The thought stabbed through Steve’s heart like a rusty knife.

‘Loki is a complicated one, but in certain ways he’s very straightforward. I don’t think getting killed sounded like such a horrible risk to James after all this time.’

For some reason Steve was sure Natasha spoke from experience, the way she saw the world after escaping the Red Room’s clutches. So he had to believe her.

‘And from all the things Thor told us, I think when Loki behaves he can be downright pleasant to be around,’ Natasha added.

‘Pleasant?’

‘You know what I mean,’ Natasha said. ‘It looks like he’s been civil with James, so that makes him the first actual connection he made since escaping from Hydra. His first ally. Someone he could trust at least to a certain extent. Not counting you of course, but you’re a whole different thing.’

‘What are you saying?’ Steve asked, because he was convinced Natasha had a specific point she wanted to make.

‘He might be protective of it, this connection, even if just subconsciously. It’s not insignificant, no matter how you look at it. And I thought that might be something you should keep in mind,’ she took a drink from her glass and shrugged. ‘It might help you to understand.’

Steve swirled his drink around in his glass and considered this for long moments. The thought was odd, and it didn’t entirely sit right with Steve, but it was worth thinking about it. They way Hydra treated Bucky all these years, after all that pain and abuse, even damn Loki would count as “good” company. Steve didn’t have to like it, but he had to be aware of what it all meant.

Especially since Bucky did not trust any of the Avengers. And unfortunately, that wasn’t likely to change anytime soon, for many different reasons. Not that the Avengers trusted Bucky either. He looked up at Natasha again. She probably knew what he was going to say just from the expression on his face.

‘Did you really pull your gun at him again?’ he asked.

‘Do you know what he did?’ Natasha asked in return. She didn’t need to answer the question anyway. Steve already knew what happened between her and Bucky, and that at least one bullet went flying.

Steve planned to ask Bucky this question too, but he was sure the story would sound different coming from him. Steve couldn’t decide what that meant right now. Both versions would be the truth, he knew that much, but the truth could be a tricky thing sometimes.

‘You already know the gist of it,’ Natasha said. ‘The bloody details matter very little. We followed him to Lenox Hill, and by the time we caught up with him, he had the guy’s blood on the floor and his brain on the wall... it was quick but messy, he wasn’t going for finesse. Sloppy work, for The Winter Soldier that is.’

Steve sighed and drowned the last of his drink. Natasha continued.

‘He didn’t leave prints, and he’s not going to be on any CCTV footage, but we both know he’s better than this. He was still wearing some of the guy’s blood when he got back here. He was in a hurry, and the whole thing seemed very... emotional. The police are probably going to question people with grudges against the late Dr. Kristensen. They’re going to think it was personal, and it was, but a different personal.’

‘He was a Darkholder, right?’ Steve asked.

‘He had those magic book pages,’ Natasha shrugged. ‘Strange says that anyone using a page like that is a Darkholder.’

‘But we also barely know anything about Strange,’ said Steve. ‘So how much can we rely on the things he says?’

‘True, but James also wouldn’t just go out to kill some random doctor for no reason.’

‘And yet you pulled your gun,’ Steve pointed it out. The way Natasha presented the whole thing was in contradiction with how she reacted earlier. Well, from how Steve heard she reacted.

It was Natasha’s turn to empty her glass. There was a look in her eyes that told Steve that she was gearing herself up to share something. She was uncomfortable, or reluctant to talk for other reasons.

‘The mind can be a minefield when you have so many horrors buried in deep,’ she said. For a moment Steve didn’t know whether she was talking about Bucky or herself.

‘What he told me... you know how it works, one trigger is enough and the dam breaks. The memories resurface, whether you want them or not. And now that I remember, I don’t see James Barnes when I look at him. I don’t see the Winter Soldier... only The American.’

‘The way he killed that man... that’s not how the Winter Soldier operates, but it did fit The American’s profile. The Red Room was never as concerned about blood stains as Hydra... different rules.’

She stared off into the distance for a very brief moment.

‘I can deal with James Barnes, your Bucky. I can deal with Hydra’s Winter Soldier, but... this is different.’

‘He reminds you of that place?’ Steve asked quietly.

‘A lot of things remind me of that place,’ Natasha said, playing with her empty glass, a few drops of red liquid still rolling around on the bottom of it. ‘I don’t mind remembering the place... it’s the people I wanted to forget.’

‘I didn’t have a childhood, and I never felt like a child, you know that, not with the Red Room, but when he turned and walked towards me earlier, bloody and angry... I felt like I was ten years old again... and when I was ten, he was the scariest thing in the world.’

She looked up at Steve and gave him a smile that was both fake and way too honest. Steve’s heart ached. It’s been a while since he got such a stark reminder that the things Bucky was forced to do in the past left wounds behind. It still wasn’t his fault, and Natasha probably knew that better than anyone, but still... gut instinct was not easily reasoned with.

‘I won’t tell him, if you don’t want me to,’ Steve said.

‘That he reminded me how much I used to fear him?’ Natasha asked, then huffed. ‘That I reacted before I could really think about what I was doing? Oh, he knows that already.’

She stood up to make herself another drink, taking Steve’s glass too. She searched around for Thor’s small metal flask. She held it up when she found it, and Steve nodded. This history between Bucky and Natasha... Steve felt powerless, because there was nothing he could do about it. The people he was truly mad at were long dead and rotting in the ground. So yeah, he could do with another drink.

As Natasha put Steve’s glass back down in front of him, Steve caught a glimpse of a faint bruise on her wrist and forearm. Natasha obviously noticed that he saw it.

‘Aliens and their damn super strength,’ she said dismissively. ‘Loki was protective of him, take that as you will.’

Steve just huffed and shook his head. He had no idea how to take that.

‘You said you heard her voice,’ Natasha said after a small pause.

‘Who?’

‘Yelena.’ Steve frowned, the name sounded like something he heard before, but it didn’t actually ring a bell.

‘Maybe you don’t remember now,’ Natasha sighed. ‘You were pretty out of it by then. Strange says the Doppelgänger was climbing into your brain, that made you angry and confused.’

‘And caused me to hallucinate.’

‘That too,’ Natasha nodded.

‘Is Yelena the woman from Detroit?’ he asked.

‘Yes, and Chthon’s wearing her like a Halloween suit.’

‘So is she with the Darkholders or...’ Steve let that thought linger, wanting Natasha to finish it.

‘If she didn’t want this, if she signed up for something else, if the Darkholders used her... I want to try getting her out of this alive.’

Steve nodded even before he opened his mouth.

‘Okay, we’re getting her out then, if we can.’

Natasha smiled at his quick answer.

‘I’m not sure James and Loki will want to try,’ Natasha added. ‘I doubt her life is any sort of a priority in this situation.’

‘We’ll try, Natasha,’ Steve promised.

‘It’s strange,’ she said, swirling her drink around in her glass again. ‘It’s not like we actually mattered to each other, ever. But we went through the same hell, so I guess that makes us connected, even if it turned us into different people.’

Steve really had nothing to say to that, but he had a feeling Natasha wanted him to stay silent anyway.

* * *

Natasha left him alone after she finished her drink, but Steve knew she would send someone up, not letting him stay alone with his thoughts for long, he knew it. He expected Sam, so he was kind of surprised when Tony’s voice broke through the silence that engulfed him.

‘Did you actually watch HELEN’s footage of what that thing looked like?’ he asked in lieu of a greeting.

‘No,’ Steve said as Tony took the stool Thor sat on previously, his tablet in hand. He must’ve noticed something on Steve’s face, because he gave him an unimpressed look.

‘Wilson was standing vigil at your quote-unquote bedside all this time, he needed sleep. Don’t look this happy to see me.’

‘No, sorry, yes... footage?’ He held his hand out for the tablet. This was Tony’s floor for Christ’s sake, of course he was bound to come up here eventually. The two drinks made his mind a little bit sluggish, nowhere near drunk, not even tipsy, but there was a mild buzz Steve was not used to feel.

‘You know what? It can wait,’ Tony said, standing up and taking the tablet with him. ‘You’re traumatized enough for one day. You can watch the whole magic-horror show later.’

He dropped the tablet down at the end of the bar and walked over to his impressive collection of alcohol.

‘Long day, huh?’ Tony asked, his cheerfulness ringing more than a little false.

‘Yeah, I’ll get out of your hair in a sec,’ Steve said.

‘Not what I meant,’ Tony answered. ‘Small talk, you know. I mean, we have a hoard of elephants in the room, but we can just ignore those for now.’

‘I don’t think I’m good at ignoring them.’

‘Yeah, I suck at it too,’ Tony agreed as he poured himself a drink and made his way back over to Steve’s side.

Straight to business then, whatever that business was. Steve liked that about Tony; that he hated wasting time so much.

‘Sometimes I call you a damn rubber-ball in my head,’ Tony said. Steve gave him a frown. ‘Y’know, because you always bounce back from everything. Other people would be still curled up licking their wounds, but you would be already up and running.’

Steve huffed a little, cause that sounded like a backhanded compliment.

‘I’ve been calling you that less and less,’ Tony added, with a slightly more serious tone.

‘That’s…’

‘That’s concern, I’m capable of it, don’t be so shocked. Before Barnes showed up again you basically locked yourself up in your little middle-class fortress of solitude. Although, you’ve been back on top since this whole mess started.’

‘That says a lot about me, huh?’ Steve asked.

‘I’m not here for this, let’s not… let’s not turn this into one those arguments again.’

Tony sounded tired and Steve sighed. It was easy to argue with Tony, but it was a lot harder to just talk.

‘What do you want me to say?’ Steve asked, making sure his tone was neither defensive nor confrontational.

‘Nothing in particular,’ Tony shrugged. ‘I just think there are things you should say, things you want to say, but you don’t want to say it to certain people…’

‘So I should tell you?’

Tony shrugged.

‘What do you care what I think, so it might be easier to say it out loud now.’

‘If I didn’t care, we probably wouldn’t be butting heads this much,’ Steve told him. ‘Who put you up to this?’

‘Would you actually believe if I said nobody?’ Tony asked in return.

‘I actually would,’ Steve answered.

He stayed silent for a few long moments, staring into his empty glass, then he put it back down on the top of the bar. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, maybe he was just too tired, but it wasn’t that difficult to start talking as he thought it would be.

‘Do you know that feeling… when things are so messy that you don’t know what to do about it? Like you walk into one of your rooms, and there’s so much chaos that you don’t even know where to start cleaning it up?’

Tony listened to him silently.

‘You just stand there, staring at the mess, kinda lost on what to do, but then you pick out something that’s important and think; I’ll get this done. I’ll fix this, and then the rest will sort itself out. But then it turns out that what you picked is really hard to fix, you’re going nowhere with it, and you’re just making a bigger mess by trying… that’s kind of how I feel right now.’

Only there was not just one room, it was his whole life in pieces, scattered at his feet. And on most days he acted like he was not walking forward on the shattered pieces of his past, but other days... he just couldn’t hide how much every step forward was hurting him. How much leaving everything behind was killing him.

‘Bucky’s the only thing I have from before,’ he said. ‘And I keep losing him. Since he fell from that train… I missed him... so much. It was like I lost a piece of myself up in those mountains. And I keep trying to fix all these things that are lost or broken and… I’m failing.’

Steve looked over to Tony, who was looking back at him. Steve huffed, but it was not what could be qualified as a laugh, not even with the slight curl of his lips.

‘It’s such a stupid thing, how much I put on finding him,’ Steve continued. ‘Convincing myself that if I could only find him, help him; everything will be fine. If I could just do this one thing right, I would feel right in my skin again. I will stop feeling like I should’ve been left in the ice... but it’s unfair, to both him and me, to expect miracles.’

He’s known, intellectually, that it was stupid, but his heart was still clinging to the notion. Maybe Tony was right, he just needed to say it out loud. Unsurprisingly, there was no sense of relief, nothing got off Steve’s chest. Everything was still there, with all its crushing weight and the tight squeeze around his lungs and throat.

‘A chair falls over with just one leg, Cap,’ Tony said, making Steve look at him again. ‘He’s not gonna fix everything that feels wrong. It won’t stop the bad dreams, won’t stop that urge under your skin that tells you that you’re failing, not doing enough…’

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed with a nod. He knew that, obviously, he knew that all along.

‘I... Pepper loved me... she still loves me,’ Tony continued, looking down at his own drink now, speaking quietly ‘And she did all she could, but… I gotta find a way to stand on my own feet, or I’m just gonna drag her down with me. And hell, she knew that, that’s why she moved out… then you didn’t come here, and everyone else was gone too… It was a pretty bad few weeks… really bad.’ He cleared his throat, still looking down at his glass. ‘So, you know, the twins have been great, it helped… not being alone, a little.’

He suddenly straightened up on his stool and looked at Steve.

‘And I feel like I’m getting there, I really do, we’re all coming together again, even if the world won’t stop being crazy and dangerous.’

That made Steve smile again, just a little, because he saw that. The team was together again, working together, being there for one another.

‘You could be here too, you know,’ Tony said. ‘With the rest of us… we tried…’

‘And I keep shutting everyone out… yeah. Sam already told me that one.’

Steve huffed out a small laugh. Yes, Sam told him that more than once.

‘Wilson the Wise, always on point with you,’ Tony remarked. ‘You should listen to him… maybe don’t tell him I said that, the man’s gonna have an ego problem soon.’

‘Way too late for that,’ Steve smirked.

‘Takes one to know one, I’m telling you, first he switched his gear to a flashy red and black…’

‘You mean, you repainted it when you upgraded the Falcon-tech,’ Steve corrected.

‘Details, he was happy about the colour.’

‘Thank you, Tony,’ Steve said, looking over to him again.

Tony looked back at him and took a large breath, putting his half-empty glass back down on the bar. He seemed a little lost for words, which happened sometimes when he couldn’t shrug things off by making a few tasteless jokes. When things were important… that kinda helped with the weight on Steve’s chest. That this was important to Tony.

‘Pff, look at me trying to be wise and lecturing an old man,’ Tony said then.

Steve automatically opened his mouth to shoot back with an equally light-hearted insult, but what came out in the end was very different.

‘I’m 29,’ he said.

Tony fell silent. Steve was not in the habit of correcting people, because there was no point, but sometimes it felt like everyone forgot… Steve included. He huffed.

‘Definitely not how I pictured the first 30 years of my life,’ he added, thinking back on the skinny little kid he used to see in the mirror.

Tony found his voice again after a moment, his energy bubbling back up to the surface.

‘We’ll throw a party for the big three X,’ he said, like it was already decided. ‘It’s the Fourth of July, let’s go nuts.’

‘Okay,’ Steve agreed easily, which probably surprised Tony a little, but to hell with it, he deserved a damn birthday party once in every century.

‘Good,’ Tony nodded. ‘Now that we settled that, you should probably get back to your floor. It’s still trashed, by the way, but Barnes has been up there huffing and puffing for a while now.

Steve didn’t move immediately.

‘Or not,’ Tony added, eyeing him again.

‘No, I’m going… I want to,’ Steve said as he stood up from the bar. ‘Thanks.’

‘We’re a team, Cap,’ Tony shrugged again.

And team sounded like something different, the way Tony said it.

‘Maybe I should listen to you more too,’ Steve said. Tony lifted both eyebrows in reaction. ‘Sometimes...’ Steve added, then reconsidered it. ‘Once in a while.’

Tony huffed. ‘Get out of here.’

Steve gave him a smirk and turned to leave, his heart a little lighter, his chest a little bit less tight. The thing was, the way Tony said “team” sounded like family. Steve didn’t pay enough attention to notice before. But now he did, and he would have to do his best not to forget it again.

* * *


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I recently moved and it kept me busy. Plus no internet, but I'm back now! Enjoy!

Bucky couldn’t stay still. It was that familiar awareness of being caged that made him twitchy. It was irrational, because he knew he could walk out of the tower anytime if he wanted to… probably. He could catch up with Loki anywhere, and Leah could too... But no, despite how close the walls seemed to be in certain moments, he couldn’t just do that.

He was absently picking on his metal arm, scratching between the plates with his nails to get the dried blood out. He wore gloves, but it was a makeshift solution, so the blood dripped down under his jacket and onto the arm. It was hard to get blood out without proper cleaning supplies, Bucky already tried to wash it with warm water and soap, but he could still see dark smudges in the notches. It was getting on his nerves.

Leah went up to Thor’s floor when the AI requested it from her. Bucky offered to go too, but she declined.

‘I’ll deal with Thor,’ she said with that certain tone that said that she would not argue about it. But it was probably for the best. Bucky was not in the mood for another round of friendly interrogation.

He accidentally tore off a piece of his nail when he tried to get to a very persistent smudge of blood. He didn’t hiss in pain, but he did huff in annoyance, heading to Steve’s bathroom again. Maybe the third time would be the charm and he would finally able to scrub the arm clean.

It should’ve been relaxing maybe, the repetitive motion, but it wasn’t at all. Bucky’s movements were jerky, and he probably dug into his bionic arm a little too hard, but he really wanted to get the damn blood out of it. He had no idea how Hydra used to clean it, he couldn’t really remember, but they sure managed to get rid of messes like this much quicker.

He got distracted – that was the only explanation – because he didn’t hear anyone approaching until suddenly there were two soft steps just a few feet behind his back. He spun around quickly, his bionic arm still mostly covered in soap, his muscles going tense. It was just Steve though, so Bucky forced himself to relax a bit.

‘Hey,’ he greeted as he turned back to the sink. He had no idea how long Steve’s been standing in the doorway, the steps could’ve been just him shifting his weight.

‘Hi,’ Steve responded. ‘Are you okay?’

‘That’s my line,’ Bucky said.

‘I’m okay… considering,’ Steve said. Bucky didn’t respond, but he somehow doubted Steve was all okay. ‘I want to talk to you,’ he added after a long breath of silence.

Bucky clenched his jaw to stop himself from responding right away.

‘I’m… just gonna finish this,’ he said then. It would distract him if he still had blood between the plates, he needed to get it out first. So he kept scrubbing. Steve didn’t move.

Bucky wanted to be annoyed, because of course Steve had to stand in the doorway to wait for him to finish. He couldn’t just back out of the bathroom and wait for him outside.

‘It might take a while,’ Bucky told him pointedly. Steve only walked closer, which caused Bucky’s shoulders to tense further. He knew he was not in danger, he knew he could relax around Steve, but his muscles simply didn’t obey him. And he still couldn’t get the damn blood out!

He slammed his flesh hand down on the marble sink, sucking in a few deep breaths. His heartbeat was much quicker than is should’ve been, he only just realized that now. He saw Steve’s hand hovering in the air from the corner of his eye.

‘Buck...’

‘I don’t know how they cleaned it, I can’t... get the damn blood out.’

Steve watched him silently for a second or two, then he reached out to close a hand around Bucky’s metal wrist, while grabbing a nearby towel at the same time, putting it under the cold water still pouring from the tap. He got the tower wet, squeezed it a bit to get some of the water out, then moved even closer to wipe all the soap off the bionic arm.

Bucky went still. He didn’t have it in him to protest.

It didn’t take long for Steve to wipe all the white foam away, but even after he dropped the towel Bucky remained motionless and silent. Steve wiped his damp hand on his jeans, then reached out to wrap it around Bucky’s flesh wrist, his skin was warm, despite the cold water.

‘Bucky,’ he said quietly, tipping his head down a bit to catch his attention. He didn’t need to do that, Bucky was very much aware of Steve’s presence.

‘There’s no blood, okay? It’s gone now,’ he said then, soft and calm. He was looking at Bucky’s face, and his gaze was as heavy and warm as a real touch. It took a moment for Bucky to focus and shift his eyes down to the bionic arm, which was clean and shiny, just like Steve said.

He clenched both of his fists, and his breathing was maybe still a little too heavy.

‘Come sit down with me, yeah?’ Steve asked.

Bucky licked his lips, then nodded, not yet able to speak again. Only after the nod did Steve start to pull him out of the bathroom, walking backwards and still holding onto Bucky’s wrists. There was concern on his face which made Bucky want to dig in his heels to stop.

‘I’m fine,’ he said instead, letting himself be pulled.

‘I don’t think you are,’ Steve said. ‘I know I’m not,’ he added before Bucky could speak.

Bucky stopped abruptly at those words. Making them stand still in Steve’s half-destroyed bedroom.

‘Which part?’ Steve asked him, understanding right away that one of the things he said surprised Bucky.

‘You mean you’re not fine now... or in general?’ Bucky asked.

‘I think I’ve been pretty far from “fine” so far in this century,’ Steve said, he huffed and dropped Bucky’s hands. ‘It was not all bad, that’s not what I mean, there were good things but... that’s all they were, good moments, good days... but no, I’m not okay.’

‘You never said that to me,’ Bucky said, his brows shifting down into a frown. ‘I don’t think... not ever.’

His memory was a dubious thing to rely on, but everything he knew and remembered about Steve told him that this was not something he did, something he acknowledged.

‘You worried enough even without me opening my mouth, so there was no point,’ Steve said. His eyes said that his thoughts were far away, thinking of times gone by.

‘And you think I don’t worry about you anymore?’ Bucky asked, trying to figure out what Steve meant.

‘No. I just think that it would be unfair of me to expect you to figure me out when you have so much on your own plate to begin with.’

He looked away, taking notice of the damage in the room like he was seeing it for the first time, taking in the details.

‘You went through a world of horror,’ he said then, shoving his hands in his pockets, maybe to stop himself from reaching out again, which was stupid, because Bucky didn’t mind being touched by Steve at all. ‘This should be my turn to help you, but here I was expecting that you being back would... fix me. I should probably apologise for that’

‘Don’t,’ Bucky said right away, stepping a bit closer. ‘Don’t you dare apologise.’

Steve gave him a smile, finally looking back at him.

‘You wanted to sit,’ Bucky reminded him then.

‘Yeah, sure,’ Steve nodded, looking over at his bed. ‘Uh, living room?’

‘Bed’s fine,’ Bucky said, already moving to sit down on it. ‘Windows that big make me nervous.’

No matter how tall the Stark Tower was, it was pretty easy to look right into the living room with so many floor to ceiling windows. Bucky felt exposed if he stayed somewhere like that for too long, he couldn’t help it.

‘Yeah,’ Steve said, sitting down next to him. ‘Feels like we’re on display.’

They sat there silently for a minute, shoulder-to-shoulder, facing the broken wall Steve and Loki smashed through earlier. It was a depressing sight.

‘So, what now?’ Steve asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Bucky answered honestly. ‘Do you want me to go?’

Steve whipped around to stare at him, frowning deeply, looking almost insulted.

‘No! What? No, of course not, why would I want that? That’s stupidest thing that came out of your mouth in a long time.’

‘Okay-okay, settle down, jeez.’

‘Good way to piss me off, talking shit like that.’

‘Okay, I get it, not going anywhere. God, your temper is still something awful.’

Steve huffed as he looked away, his shoulders dropping back down.

‘I know what my life is like without you around,’ Steve said. ‘I don’t want that... not again.’

Bucky opened his mouth to say something to that but he found himself unable to get the right words out.

‘So whatever’s wrong, we’re gonna fix it, right now,’ Steve added.

‘Nothing’s wrong,’ Bucky said.

‘Didn’t seem like that when you stormed out.’

‘You just got me mad,’ Bucky said. ‘If you can’t believe that what I’m doing is right--’

‘You’re not the problem,’ Steve interrupted him sharply. ‘It’s Loki. You’re expecting me to trust Loki!’

‘You’re supposed to trust me!’ Bucky told him. His muscles screamed at him to stand up, but he felt like things would escalate if he moved, so he stayed. ‘Trust me that I know how much he can be trusted.’

‘I’m trying, Bucky, but you’re still keeping me in the dark! I got more information out of Chthon than you!’

That stung, but it was true, so Bucky took a deep breath to stay calm.

‘This was too close,’ he said. ‘If I hadn’t found the pages, if Loki hadn’t pulled a goddamn miracle out of his sleeve... this almost got you killed.’

‘There’s a lot of things that almost got me killed, even long before the serum, but I’m still kicking,’ Steve said in return. ‘There’s no going back now, Buck, so just talk to me.’

‘There’s really not that much left to say,’ Bucky said.

‘I think there is plenty. So let’s start with you and Loki maybe... and the Elder God you work for.’

He wanted to know how it got to this, how Bucky ended up in the middle of this otherworldly quest, with a trickster god and a shadow shaped like a girl as his only companions. It was surreal, if he was honest with himself, but he learnt a long time ago to just accept the impossible. The moment Steve appeared all those long years ago to save him, tall and wide, a dream... a miracle. Nothing’s been too difficult to believe since then.

‘The two are connected, but I don’t really know if it was Leah or Gaea who arranged it. It was Gaea I saw first. I was in Kazakhstan... trying to get into a very old Hydra vault, an archive. I was looking for information, about myself, I knew I would find something there...’

‘I still didn’t really know who I was,’ he added as an explanation. ‘I needed answers, solid answers, evidence. It was a shitty night when I finally got there, waiting outside, trying to assess how hard it would be to get in. It was freezing cold, first rain then snow. I had worse, but it was still bad.’

‘Then it got warm, out of nowhere. It wasn’t like the heat of something artificial, it felt like sunlight, honest-to-god, right in the middle of the night... and she appeared. I knew she was not human... it’s hard to explain, there is a sense of power, the feeling that there is much more than what you can see... I don’t know.’

‘I think I know what you mean,’ Steve said. He lifted his hand, but caught himself in the middle of the movement. He wanted to touch his neck, where the burn was before.

‘Right, Chthon... so I guess you know, but she didn’t feel like a threat... I thought I fell asleep in the cold, that I was dreaming her up. The way she looked, her face, her voice... she felt like a memory, like someone I used to know. That was probably deliberate, to put me at ease maybe.’

Bucky could still recall it perfectly, how that little slender woman was just suddenly sitting next to him. But not too close, just out of reach. Bucky was shocked, obviously, but also didn’t lash out to attack. He didn’t feel like he was in danger, which was a very odd sensation at the time. He wondered still if she did some magic on him, or if she just naturally had that effect on humans.

‘And then?’ Steve prompted after Bucky remained silent for a few moments too long, lost in the memory.

‘She said the place I wanted to get into had something very dangerous in it. An item that belonged to one of her siblings, and that if I don’t take it from Hydra, someone else will, and they will use it for horrible things. She said she would tell me of a way in, if I get that thing out for her.’

‘Sounds suspicious,’ Steve commented.

‘Kinda, yeah, I told her as much,’ Bucky huffed.

‘So why did you do it?’

‘Cause she said I didn’t need to give it to her,’ Bucky said. ‘She said; “I don’t care what you do, burn it, break it, destroy it... just get it out of their hands”... It sounded like a good deal, to get help in exchange for destroying something Hydra would just use for something bad anyway.’

 ‘Let me guess,’ Steve said, raising an eyebrow. ‘That one deal became two,’

‘Then three,’ Bucky nodded. ‘Hydra had a lot of dangerous things stashed away... and I was happy to go after Hydra. Two birds with one stone and all that.’

Bucky kept expecting the other shoe to drop, for the deal to turn sour. He kept telling himself that he was ready for it, so it was not going to catch him by surprise.

‘Then she offered the big deal,’ he continued. ‘It sounded too good to be true, y’know, getting my mind back, with all the memories I wanted, a lot of Hydra bastards offered on a plate... I wasn’t sure I believed her.’

‘But you made the deal...’

‘Not right away... she offered all of that, but I had to stop the Darkholders in return. It’s a freakin’ magic sect, worshipping some demon god, trying to get him back to Earth. I didn’t think I could do it. It was too big, there was no way, it was suicide... that part didn’t sound so bad... going out with a bang, doing something real good before I’m done for. After everyone I’ve hurt--’

‘Bucky, it’s not your fault, you know that.’

Bucky didn’t say anything to that, because he didn’t want to argue about this with Steve right now.

‘Still... it didn’t sound like something I could do... I’m good, real good, but not that good.’

‘That’s where Loki came in,’ Steve guessed.

‘That’s when that strange little lady appeared right next to Gaea, out of thin air, but nowhere near as warm.’

Leah was like a night breeze, not a biting chill, but still capable of sending shivers down your spine.

‘I don’t trust her,’ Steve said.

‘I doubt she cares,’ Bucky offered in return. ‘And yeah, she offered Loki’s help. Said they had an interest in getting this done, stopping these lunatics and Chthon.’

‘Did she tell you why?’ Steve asked.

‘I didn’t ask,’ Bucky shrugged.

Steve looked at him strangely, and it made Bucky sigh.

‘Try to remember what I was like... with Hydra. I didn’t care about details, I just wanted... I just wanted the world to make sense again in my head. I wanted to know which dreams were real, which nightmares, visions. I wanted to know who I was, who you were, I... I didn’t have many options. Especially not something that was guaranteed to work. I had to do this, it was my best shot.’

‘And you had no problems with Loki?’ Steve asked.

‘I didn’t know who he was. He was an irritating alien jerk with a lot of power at his fingertips. But he delivered on every promise he made, and he never stabbed me in the back, that was all I cared about. I only dug up information about him later on, but by then the past didn’t really matter.’

Steve nodded to himself thoughtfully, but Bucky had no idea what he was really thinking.

‘Why you?’ Steve asked then. ‘Gaea. Why did she appear to you?’

‘Right place at the right time? Right skill set?’ Bucky ventured.

‘There’s gotta be more to it,’ Steve said.

‘I don’t know... Gaea, she’s not like Chthon, she’s been here all along, and she knows us. Plus the Darkholders are human too.’

‘But wouldn’t it have been easier to search out someone like Strange... or go straight to Leah and Loki?’

‘Oh, so I’m not big and bad enough for this?’ Bucky asked.

‘No, I’m just worried there’s more. I’m worried Loki and this Elder God have their own deal going on, and you don’t know about it. I’m just worried things will go bad and we won’t see it coming.’

‘That’s a lot of worries,’ Bucky remarked.

Steve huffed, smiling over to him fondly.

‘It’s you, Buck... I can’t take risks with you. I can’t even stand the thought of it.’

The emotions in Steve’s voice kinda punched him straight in the chest, and the look in his eyes made him want to wrap him up in his arms. He reached out to touch his face with his flesh hand instead.

‘I will finish this,’ he said steadily.

‘Bucky--’

‘I have to, I want to... and for better or worse Loki signed up to be there up until the end, so that’s how it’s gonna go. And I trust him enough to believe that he is actually going to stick it out till the end.’

‘It’s supposed to be you and me to the end...’ Steve said. ‘End of the line? C’mon, Buck.’

Bucky turned to put his other hand on Steve’s face too, just to make sure he was listening.

‘It _is_ you and me, but it’s not just the two of us anymore, hasn’t been for a long time,’ he told him. ‘But you’re... you still mean the whole goddamn world to me.’

Steve reached out to pull Bucky closer, wrapping his right arm around his waist. Then his left palm spread out on Bucky’s thigh for balance, his warm fingers digging into the muscle.

‘Bucky--’

‘Listen to me,’ Bucky asked. ‘I would do anything for you, you get that? Anything at all, I would...’

Steve just swallowed, nodding, listening to him quietly.

‘So don’t ask me something I don’t want to do. Don’t do that to me.’

Steve’s hands flexed and his arm tightened around Bucky. He stared at him for a long moment, clearly turning Bucky’s words around in his head, wrestling with what he felt probably. Bucky waited it out.

‘This is bigger than just you and me...’ he said in the end.

Bucky felt his shoulders tense for one quick second, but he relaxed them again right away. Steve noticed of course.

‘No, no, I just mean,’ Steve continued hurriedly, his hands tightening on Bucky again, like he was afraid he would pull away. ‘Don’t you worry? That Loki’s after Chthon’s power?’

‘No,’ Bucky replied immediately. Steve seemed almost thrown by the quick response.

‘If this goes wrong…’ he continued. ‘There’s a lot at stake, Bucky, not just our lives, but the lives of a whole lot of people, maybe the whole damn world. So I need you to be sure, and I mean _really_ sure.’

Bucky looked back and held Steve’s searching gaze.

‘I am.’

Steve took a large breath.

‘Then you got me in your corner,’ he said.

Bucky knew he meant it. There’s was no going halfway with Steve. Once he made up his mind, that was the end of it, he jumped in with both feet.

‘God knows you followed me enough times, even when I was being a reckless asshole,’ he added with a self-depreciating little smile. It made Bucky laugh quietly. ‘Just don’t expect me to go out of my way to be “nice” to Loki.’

Bucky pulled back just a little to be able to look at Steve’s face again. He dropped his metal hand from his face.

‘I ain’t asking you to be nice, or to not question him... but he’s got a nasty habit of acting the way he’s treated. It’s his own special brand of revenge.’

‘So, if we say he’s a treacherous untrustworthy bastard enough times...?’

‘He’s gonna be the most untrustworthy treacherous bastard you have ever seen, and then some.’

‘That doesn’t make sense. Shouldn’t he want to prove you wrong? Even if just out of spite?’

Bucky huffed out a laugh and moved his right hand to grip Steve’s chin, giving his head a tiny shake.

‘That’s you, punk.’

‘Quit it,’ Steve said, jerking his head away playfully.

‘You know what it’s like, to be angry all the time, I know you do.’

‘It’s different,’ Steve said.

‘It is, because you’re different, but you still know it. You stood tall even when the whole world was telling you that you should be giving up, because there’s no place for you, no purpose... and you proved them wrong... but Loki, I think he did try, before, I never asked. I think he tried, but couldn’t do it, or couldn’t figure out how to do it, or he just believed them in the end, so that turned into a whole different story.’

Steve frowned and glanced away as he thought about that, but Bucky didn’t want him to overthink it, especially not now. So he leaned closer to softly kiss him on the lips.

‘Plus he’s a whole lot more of a spoiled brat,’ Bucky added. ‘But enough now,’ he said as he pulled away. ‘Just be fair.’

Steve opened his mouth, maybe to argue, so Bucky kissed him again, just as softly.

‘I said, enough.’

‘You really think you can shut me up like this?’ Steve asked, his lips curling up into that challenging little smirk Bucky found both incredible and very frustrating.

‘Sure can,’ Bucky said as he leaned back in, this time making the kiss linger. And sure enough, Steve didn’t protest at all. He kissed back, his arm firmly staying around Bucky’s waist.

The position was not the most comfortable, not with both of them sitting on the edge of the bed, twisting their torsos towards each other. Bucky was about to be done with it and just push Steve down on the bed to get more comfortable, when Steve pulled back with a very deliberate movement.

He searched Bucky’s face, looking for something.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

‘Didn’t we go through this one already?’ Bucky asked.

‘You never really answered,’ Steve said. ‘What you did to help me…’

‘No, shut up about it, it’s done and over with.’

Bucky didn’t want to hear yet another assessment of what it meant that he still killed so easily. He knew all that already.

‘I’m sorry you had to do that,’ Steve said, which was only mildly surprising.

‘It was a Darkholder,’ Bucky told him. ‘Far from the last one I will kill.’  His voice went tense without his consent, he wasn’t entirely sure why. He just didn’t want to talk about this.

Steve moved his hand from Bucky’s waist to grab hold of his metal forearm, running his fingers over it, clean, free of blood.

Bucky licked his lips, because he understood the question the touch implied.

‘I’m fine with killing,’ he stated plainly.

‘Buck,’ Steve tried to interrupt, Bucky’s name sounded like protest.

‘Especially if it’s important,’ Bucky continued. ‘I’m really good at it too… but I don’t like doing it... I don’t _enjoy_ it… and I don’t like that it still comes so easily.’

Steve was the one to touch Bucky’s face this time, cradling his head in his warm palm.

‘You wanted to hear me say that,’ Bucky said.

‘I wanted to hear what was going on in your head, you’re awful hard to read,’ Steve said in return.

‘I really don’t want to think about this anymore,’ Bucky said, his voice going softer with every word. He felt drained, his mind protested, he didn’t want to think of blood and danger anymore.

‘Okay, no more,’ Steve nodded, then he leaned closer to kiss Bucky again. Then again... and again. Bucky sighed in relief. ‘Think of me instead... think of this,’ he whispered into Bucky’s skin, moving his lips down his jaw. ‘Just this, okay?’

‘Very okay,’ Bucky agreed, and he did push Steve down this time to get more comfortable. Steve scooted back a little, but his feet were still hanging off the bed when Bucky crawled on top of him, slotting a knee between his legs, covering his body with his own. His warmth was seeping into Bucky’s bones immediately.

Steve kissed him back deeply, like he was thirsty for his mouth. Maybe he was, maybe he felt the exact same thing Bucky felt, molten heat underneath his skin. He knew Steve wanted this; it’s been obvious for a while now. But whenever they touched Bucky felt like he had no right to take this much. He felt like he did not deserve any of it.

That feeling was gone right now. Maybe his mind was too tired to come up with excuses, maybe he just really wanted to give Steve everything he wanted. Maybe it was okay to take this much, if he gave just as much in return. Maybe he just loved Steve too much... maybe he actually believed now that Steve loved him too... loved who he was now, and not just who he used to be, not just the memory of him.

When Steve bit his lower lip, he really did stop thinking. He had the strong urge to touch Steve since that monster was pulled from his skin. That desire now flared up again. He wanted to inspect every damn inch of him, so he spread his fingers and ran his hands up on Steve’s sides, pushing his t-shirt up to get it out of the way. Steve lifted his arms to pull it over his head right away.

There were a few red bruises on him, specific spots where Bucky knew the doppelgänger was latched onto him. They were faint and healing, but their sight still made Bucky angry beyond words.

‘Hey,’ Steve reached out, making Bucky look at him. He must’ve stared. ‘No lasting damage, okay? Stop thinking about it.’

Bucky wanted to tell him that losing Steve was not something he could easily get over, but he swallowed the words back down and leaned in to kiss Steve again. More words would not help his state of mind, but feeling Steve hot and alive underneath him might settle his frazzled psyche.

Steve urged him to lose his t-shirt and Bucky gladly obliged, tossing the piece of garment away, allowing Steve to freely roam his hands all over Bucky’s skin. His touch echoed Bucky’s desperation.

‘I want you, Buck, want to feel you here with me,’ Steve said, his lips already red and kiss-bitten.

‘I’m here,’ Bucky replied, focusing on every point of contact between their bodies, how good it felt to be touching in so many places. He was already hard, straining his pants, so he shifted a little further up to line up his hip with Steve’s. Steve moaned when he felt it, his lips falling open, wet and inviting. His arms tightened around him as he dragged Bucky down into another kiss. He shifted too, making more space between his legs. It was such a tiny movement, but it sent a warm shiver down Bucky’s back. Steve’s body was inviting him in so readily.

Bucky gripped the side of Steve’s neck as he kissed him, rolling his hips down. Their pants were in the way, but it was still a relief, especially feeling how hard Steve was too.

Steve gripped Bucky’s hips tightly, then slid one hand over to his ass, kneading it firmly, groaning into their kiss. He was panting when he pulled back.

‘Get up to your knees,’ he said. Bucky wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he was sure it was going to end up being good for him, so he did as he was told. He moved the knee from it-between Steve’s legs to straddle Steve’s hips. He made quite a sight, lying between Bucky’s knees.

Steve sat up a little and basically attacked Bucky’s trousers with a single-minded focus. He got the buttons and zipper undone while he left kisses on Bucky’s stomach, dragging his tongue over the hard muscles. Bucky inhaled sharply, but resisted the urge to close his eyes, because looking down at Steve like this was just too good to miss, he loved seeing the want on his face.

Steve yanked his pants down none too gently. Of course he couldn’t pull them down much with Bucky’s knees spread out, but he did manage to uncover both his ass and his dick. It seemed to be what he was going for because he gave Bucky a satisfied smile once he was done. Bucky gave him a little smirk in return, biting his lip. Steve didn’t need any provoking; he just leaned in and opened his mouth to drag his tongue up on the underside of Bucky’s cock.

‘Christ,’ Bucky cursed, a shudder running through his body. Steve gripped both of his ass-cheeks, then sucked at the tip of his dick when he reached it. Bucky felt pre-come sprouting out of it, which Steve licked away, then he opened his mouth wider to take Bucky deeper.

The ragged moan that tore out of Bucky’s mouth was loud and breathless. Steve moaned hearing it, and of course the vibration just made it feel even better. Bucky had to brace himself on Steve’s shoulders as his eyes finally closed. Steve’s mouth was furnace hot, wet and tight. Bucky was immediately overwhelmed, his body still not used to pleasure the way it probably should have been. But it was the good kind of fog that descended on his mind and tied his tongue. His body was ready to surrender, very willing to just allow Steve to do whatever he wanted.

Steve pulled off and mouthed on his wet cock for a moment, then he breathed out heavily. Even that gush of air felt really good.

‘God, Buck, the sounds you make,’ Steve said quietly, one of his hands sliding over to his waist, then down to his hip, while the other still firmly gripped his ass.

Bucky wasn’t aware of the sounds he was making, but Steve obviously enjoyed them, so Bucky let out a deep groan, then opened his eyes to look down at Steve again. His blue eyes were dark with arousal, his lips shiny and wet, while Bucky’s dick was still resting on his face, the tip leaving smears on his skin. Bucky wanted to dirty him up even more, the image was too tempting in his mind.

There must’ve been something on his face, because Steve made a sound and dived back in, swallowing Bucky’s dick down almost to the root. Bucky sucked in a few harsh breaths.

‘You’re gonna make me come,’ he warned as he gripped Steve’s shoulders. Steve just made an approving sound and sucked even harder, both hands back to gripping and kneading Bucky’s ass, almost urging him to move a little... so Bucky did. He didn’t move his hips that much, but Steve noticed straight away and squeezed Bucky’s ass even harder, encouraging him.

‘Fuck,’ Bucky groaned, pumping his hips a little, his dick sliding in and out of Steve’s mouth smoothly. He didn’t fuck in too deep, but god, the way it looked, Steve’s lips stretched around his width, his mouth wet, almost dripping. And he wanted it, fuck, he wanted it, because the sounds that were coming out of him were god damn sinful.

There was no way Bucky could last for very long. It only took a particularly deep groan from Steve to send him hurling over the edge, his dick spurting come right into Steve’s mouth, who didn’t seem to want to pull back even for a moment. He just sucked and swallowed it all. God bless Captain America. The thought made Bucky huff, but the sound turned into a pleased moan.

He shifted his knees to pull back, his cock slipping out of Steve’s mouth. Then he bent down to Steve, to kiss his mouth and get a taste of himself from his tongue. Steve kissed back just as keenly. His jaw probably wasn’t even tired. Bucky broke the kiss and shoved him back down to the bed.

‘Get naked,’ he told him while he moved to the side to get rid of his own pants.

Steve was quick to comply, so both pair of trousers were soon on the floor, and Bucky was back right on top of Steve, almost shoving his way in-between his legs. Steve just grinned when Bucky made space for himself, obviously enjoying his eagerness.

His mug looked way too smug to Bucky’s liking, so he gripped his dick to wipe the smile off his face. Steve arched his back as his head pressed down on the pillow, his cock hard and dripping wet at the tip. Filthy thoughts were spinning around in Bucky’s head and he had no idea how much Steve would care to hear them. He wanted to tell him that he liked that sucking cock got Steve hot, liked how easily he dropped his legs open for Bucky, how wet the tip of his dick got from Bucky’s touch.

Fuck, but Bucky wanted more, wanted the pleasure he saw on Steve’s face amplified. He wanted to steal his voice, his breath, wanted his skin marked by his mouth, his touch. The way Steve moved, the sounds he made... he wanted more of that too.

‘Buck...’ he breathed.

‘I know what you want,’ Bucky told him, because he did.

Steve opened his eyes then reached up to grip the back of Bucky’s neck.

‘Only what you want,’ he said.

‘I want you,’ Bucky said. ‘In every way I got to have you.’

‘Sounds good to me,’ Steve smiled, then moaned again when Bucky shifted his right hand a little, changing up the rhythm he had going on Steve’s cock. God, he was so hard, so ready to shoot off.

‘Wanna come now or...’

‘Or?’ Steve prompted, lifting his eyebrows, like he knew that he was going to like no matter how Bucky’s going to finish the sentence.

‘Or when I’m buried in you,’ Bucky finished.

‘Ugh, shit, Bucky,’ Steve moaned, arching his back again a little. Bucky could’ve sworn his dick almost pulsed in his hand. ‘In me, god, Bucky, you know I want that.’

‘Yeah, me too,’ Bucky agreed. ‘But I gotta wait till I’m ready to go again, so I will take my time now,’ he added, hoping that his voice came out as playful as he intended. ‘Sure you can wait that long?’

‘Just get to it,’ Steve told him, not impressed with the challenging tilt of Bucky’s last words. Bucky smiled down at him and let go of his dick. He looked around for the lube they left on the nightstand the last time. Shit, that seemed like it happened a million years ago, but it was still there.

He loved getting his fingers into Steve last time so just spreading the lube on his hand was getting him excited. He only took one look at Steve’s pink hole and all his filthy thoughts were back. He wanted to tease it, stretch it, play with it, bury his fingers in deep, and just keep moving them until Steve could do nothing but moan. He wondered what noise Steve would make if he licked it, shoved his tongue inside... God, Steve took his mind to places, or maybe his head was just taken over by his dick.

He rubbed the hole with his slick fingers, pulling one of Steve’s legs up to his shoulder, kissing the inside of his knee. Steve gripped the pillow with both hands next to his head, his neck arched, tendons tight with strain.

‘C’mon,’ he prompted.

‘Impatient,’ Bucky told him.

‘You would be too if you hadn’t gotten off already,’ Steve told him.

‘Well, you only got yourself to blame then,’ Bucky smirked as he slowly pushed in his first finger. No matter what he said about taking his time, his dick was already stirring again. He didn’t know if it was his own stamina or just the fact that it was Steve, it didn’t actually matter.

Steve opened up for him easily, he relaxed at Bucky’s touch immediately, so soon he was able to press in with two, twisting and turning them, curling them once in a while. The sounds Steve made turned so much better then.

‘Come on, more, now,’ Steve breathed, his hips moving a little, getting Bucky’s fingers deeper with every shift. His hips were a wicked nice thing to look at, especially with his legs spread wide and Bucky’s hand in-between them.

‘So damn impatient,’ Bucky repeated, shoving his fingers in as deep as they would go.

Steve moaned and looked up at him with his dark eyes.

‘It feels good, so I want more, get on with it, come on,’ he said.

‘Bossy,’ Bucky chuckled, but complied of course. If he wanted more fingers in his ass, Bucky would give it to him, he would give him goddamn everything.

The three fingers felt more tight, but Steve still opened up real nicely, taking Bucky’s fingers with breathless moans and pleased little grunts. Last time Bucky didn’t feel like he could go further, take more than what he had already taken, but now... oh, he really wanted to bury himself in Steve’s slick heat. His dick was certainly ready to go.

‘Want it on your back?’ Bucky asked, focused on Steve’s face, staring at his red lips, his dark eyes, every single sign of his pleasure. ‘Hands and knees? Side? Tell me now, cause fuck, Steve...’

‘Like this, come on,’ Steve urged, more than ready for more. Bucky’s blood was singing, his skin was hot and damp with sweat, and he was hard as rock again. He pulled his fingers out and reached for the lube again to slick himself up. Fuck, this was it.

Steve reached up and pulled him down for a kiss, open and deep, hungry still. Bucky gripped Steve’s hips and lifted him up a little to position himself. Steve moaned at the shift, letting himself be moved. The head of his cock rubbed between Steve’s cheeks, but then Steve reached between them and gripped him, positioning him just right, lining up his dick with his wet hole. Who was Bucky to refuse such an invitation even for a second?

He pushed in and the head popped in almost immediately, making both of them moan loudly at the sensation. Steve’s mouth was overwhelming, but this... god, this was a whole new level. Bucky moved his hands from Steve hips to the back of his thighs and pushed them up a little until the back of Steve’s knees were resting in the crook of his elbows. The he looked down at Steve, held his gaze and pushed all the way in. Steve’s mouth opened in a moan, but he held Bucky’s gaze, kept looking back at him.

He kept staring back even when Bucky slowly pulled back out and pushed back in. His arms flexed and he gripped the pillow tightly, but he looked back as Bucky started up a rhythm. His mouth was open and he started panting, but as long as Bucky looked at him, he kept looking back.

‘More,’ Steve said.

‘Oh, god yes,’ Bucky agreed, pulling Steve’s legs up around his waist then leaning forward. The angle was sharper, so he could go deeper, and he did. Deeper and faster and harder, god he never wanted to stop. Steve’s hole was hot and wet, gripping him tightly in the most perfect way. The squelching sound of his dick plunging in was deliciously dirty, and his balls kept slapping Steve’s skin. But the best was still the sounds Steve made, tiny breathless little sounds that were punched out of him by Bucky’s hips, and the way his skin flushed pink, both of his cheeks, his neck, and even his chest. He wanted this, and he loved it as much as Bucky did.

‘Wanna touch yourself?’ Bucky asked. ‘Or you want me to?’

‘You,’ Steve said without hesitation. Bucky was all too happy to do it for him, although...

‘Then hold your legs open for me,’ he said.

‘You like me spread out like this, huh?’ Steve asked, he was breathless and sweaty, but his smirk was spot on still. He reached down to grip the back of knee as Bucky let go with his right hand.

‘Maybe I should take a picture and show you what you look like,’ Bucky told him, his smile definitely filthy. ‘Then you’d get it.’

‘Maybe I’ll spread you open instead, take a look for myself,’ Steve said in return.

Bucky had to bite his tongue hard to stop himself from coming. Little shit. Bucky started to pound his ass in honest as revenge, not that it was much of a punishment, but it shut Steve up for sure. Steve both laughed and moaned as he threw his head back on the pillow.

‘Your other leg too,’ Bucky told him, because he wanted to see it, carve it into his memory. Steve did as he asked and gripped the other knee too, keeping his legs nice and spread while Bucky put his metal hand down on the bed and gripped Steve’s cock with the other. Steve made a long drawn out noise that was somewhere between a moan and a whine. His dick was so wet; he must’ve been so close.

‘Wanna come, Steve? You feel so ready to come.’

‘Keep going, don’t stop,’ Steve told him.

‘Not for the world,’ Bucky said, keeping up the deep hard thrusts with his hips, twisting and stroking Steve’s cock at the same time. Steve’s eyes closed and he seemed gone in the moment, nothing but little broken gasps coming out of his mouth. He kept clenching around Bucky, squeezing him in just the right moments.

Then Steve’s muscles locked up, he moaned deep in his throat, arching his neck, his dick pulsing in Bucky’s hand, shooting all over between them. Bucky kept going, letting the tight clench of Steve’s ass pull his orgasm out of him. He leaned down and caught Steve’s mouth when he felt himself going over the edge.

He stopped moving when Steve stopped coming, but they kept kissing for much longer, both of them breathing harshly between kisses. He let go of Steve’s dick and Steve dropped his legs. They were immediately tangled up in each other, Bucky slipping free as they shifted. They needed to catch their breaths, but neither of them seemed to care, Bucky sure as hell didn’t want to let go of Steve’s mouth for something as trivial as air.

They did part eventually, Bucky still on top of Steve, strong arms wrapped around his neck and back.

‘How did we not start doing this the day we figured out what our dicks are for?’ Bucky asked, shifting his head to rest it on Steve’s shoulder. He also moved a little to the side to keep some of his weight off of him.

Steve sighed.

‘I don’t know... can you really see those guys doing this?’ he asked.

Bucky thought about it, from what he remembered...

‘Not really,’ he admitted.

‘Me neither,’ Steve said. ‘That was different... we were different. This wasn’t us back then.’

‘It is now.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed, he was smiling. ‘I liked what we were, it was important... but I like who we are now too.’

Different, but still good... not better or worse, just still good.

‘I do too,’ he smiled in return, and he hoped Steve could hear the curl of his lips the way Bucky could hear his.

* * *


	46. Chapter 46

Thor grew up with Loki. He was used to quick wit and sharp words, he understood jokes that did not sound like jokes at all, and he knew how to read between the lines. In the past he simply did not bother to be on his guard around Loki, since he trusted him fully. With their brotherly bond broken, Thor had to pay very close attention to even the smallest of details. Thankfully being around friends like Tony and Natasha kept most of these skills incredibly fresh. He was also no simpleton, in fact, he knew he had a clever enough head on his shoulders, and yet... oh, Leah was testing his patience and his tolerance for vague non-answers.

‘I will not speak of Loki, Odinson,’ she repeated again. ‘Do you really think he would want me to talk of such matters behind his back with you of all people?’

‘I am trying to help you Lady Leah,’ Thor said, again, his voice firm but still polite. ‘Loki and I reached an understanding.’

‘An understanding I did not agree to,’ she said, standing ramrod straight by the large windows, gazing out at the city.

‘I wish to believe that you have Loki’s best interest at heart, but maybe you ought to accept the decisions he makes,’ Thor said to her.

She turned to give him a look. ‘We both know Loki makes questionable decisions, sometimes with the best intentions.’

That was certainly true, so Thor could not argue with her.

‘This mission of yours is drawing to an end, maybe it is time to think about what you need in order to succeed, and to survive,’ Thor said to her. ‘I know you did not approve of what Loki showed me, but I am glad he did. I’m glad I understand more.’

‘We’re in danger,’ Leah said, turning away from him again. ‘You do not understand just how great a danger we are in now because of that.’

‘Chthon has not yet arrived--’ Thor tried to interject, but she whipped her head around to stare at him again.

‘I am not talking about Chthon,’ she said. ‘The only reason we are involved is because without our intervention many of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes would’ve fallen by now.’

Those words rendered Thor silent for a few long moments.

‘You know much about the future,’ he said then. ‘Do you see it, or have you lived it?’

‘It matters not,’ Leah said dismissively. ‘For the sake of things to come, Midgard needs to remain strong, stand strong in the face of war and invasion.’

‘Is that certain to come?’

‘More likely than other things,’ she said with a sigh. ‘It’s simple; Gaea would’ve chosen a champion against the Darkholders one way or another… but it would’ve been the wrong choice. She’s powerful, but not all-knowing. He would’ve betrayed her for the promise of power. Then the Avengers would’ve been too late, Strange would’ve been far away in a distant world… chaos works that way you see. You toss a rock in the wrong direction and you start an avalanche. One small thing, one choice, all is different now. Is that enough information for you?’

‘Loki cared not for Midgard all these years,’ Thor said.

‘But one thing leads to another, and you know where the path was leading to, because he showed it to you,’ Leah answered.

Thor recalled the horrible vision Loki shared with him, the burnt landscape and ruins, and he knew what Leah meant right away.

‘Midgard would be just the first to fall,’ he spoke gravely.

‘But not the last,’ Leah nodded as she looked back out of the window.

‘Things are different now, you said,’ Thor added, maybe sounding a little hopeful.

‘In some ways,’ she agreed. ‘But the future is a fickle thing, and fate is not easily changed. All still might be for naught… especially if Loki keeps being this reckless.’

‘Oh, but wouldn’t fate have an easier time chaining us down if we’re predictable?’ came Loki’s voice from a far corner of the main room.

Both Thor and Leah turned to find him standing in a mostly hidden corner, finally dressed completely, but in soft brown and gold instead of his black leathers. The warm colours almost glowed like amber in the fading rays of the setting sun. Fire. Everything about Loki reminded Thor of fire now.

‘That is not how it works,’ Leah said.

‘Are you quite sure?’ Loki asked her. ‘I think all unexpected turns are to our advantage.’

‘Maybe, but they are also a lot harder to keep under control,’ Leah told him. ‘Even you cannot predict what your actions may cause.’

‘What sort of life would it be, if we could control all and everything around us?’ Thor asked. ‘If what you need is for Midgard to remain strong, then let us make sure that happens. We need to defeat the Darkholders, and keep Chthon locked in where he is now.’

‘Oh, no longer concerned about my grand evil plans?’ Loki asked, something sharp returning to his eyes.

Thor stopped himself before he could sigh deeply, because Loki was taunting him, and no matter what Thor said, he would twist it around to make it sound vile. He knew that glint in Loki’s eyes. He knew nothing would sound good enough to him in this moment. Talking to Loki was often like walking through a dangerous maze full of traps and dead ends.

‘ _I am very sorry to interrupt_ ,’ HELEN spoke before the silence could stretch out for too long. ‘ _But I have been told to remind you that it would not be the best idea to agree to any plan against the Darkholders without discussing it with the rest of team first._ ’

‘Tell Stark his message has been received, and that I have made no vows yet,’ Thor answered.

‘You agree to all their wishes rather quickly,’ Loki commented drily.

‘This is their world and we have no right to act otherwise,’ Thor stated.

‘You say so, but you meddle all the same.’

‘When the threat is great and arrives from the Nine Realms,’ Thor said. ‘I have a duty to try to uphold peace in the Nine. Fight for those who need it.’

‘Of course,’ Loki scoffed. ‘I’m sure you would run to aid Nidavellir or Jotunheim just as eagerly. Don’t recite empty platitudes Thor, I am not Odin, I care not for them.’

‘And I care not for your attempts to anger me, Loki, you’re rarely this transparent.’

Loki made a quiet grunt, and his expression was a lot harder to read than his words earlier.

They stood silently for a long moment, a fragile tension in the air, waiting to erupt or shatter.

‘I’m going to sleep now,’ Loki stated plainly, pushing away from the wall and heading for the large sofa in the room, dropping down on it with ease, turning his back on them both.

Thor was confused, so he just kept staring at his brother’s back, wondering if he should protest by asking more questions. It also reminded him of their childhood, when the two of them were still young enough to share rooms. The familiarity of it, even Loki’s nonchalance, they were echoes of their shared past. He was overcome with wistful melancholy immediately, his resolve to get more answers crumbling away. He rarely allowed himself to think about it, but he missed Loki deeply.

‘You might as well have some rest too, Odinson,’ Leah said, turning back to the window. ‘While you still can.’

‘You may have my room, if you wish,’ Thor offered.

‘Courteous of you, but unnecessary,’ she said.

‘You do not sleep?’ Thor asked, but he received no answer.

He stood around in the silent room for another moment, but then he headed towards his room, mumbling, ‘Very well,’ quietly.

‘You try,’ Leah spoke, just before he could leave. ‘It matters that you try.’

She was still not looking at him, but Thor knew the words were addressed to him. It was probably the kindest thing she said to him so far, if it could be called that. Maybe kindness was not something she knew how to do, maybe words that did not sound so cold were the best she could do. Thor had no way to know for sure, it was just an impression, nothing more. Her actions spoke for her much clearer, not her words.

‘Good night, Lady Leah,’ Thor said, speaking the words softly. The tone of his voice was probably a better answer to her than actual words.

* * *

Thor slept poorly and he was not surprised about it. His mind was filled with questions and doubts. And while he did not think that he would be attacked while he slept, having Loki a room over still left him restless. He was out of bed at the crack of dawn, then quickly showered and dressed.

He actually expected Loki to be up already, so he was slightly thrown by the dark silence in the living room. He couldn’t see Leah anywhere, which worried him a little, but he decided to walk closer to take a look at Loki first. With the windows darkened it was hard to see the shade of his hair, so he almost looked exactly as he used to. But he didn’t seem all that peaceful in his sleep, as a deep frown darkened his features. His body was tense as well, and Thor doubted it was the sofa that caused him discomfort.

Thor walked closer, keeping his steps light and quiet, considering his option. It was a startlingly difficult decision to make, whether to keep his distance or not. But when Loki inhaled sharply, turning over onto his back, Thor moved without needing to think about it. He descended down on one knee, and up close Loki’s face seemed even more distressed. His body was tightened as if in pain… or remembering pain.

‘Loki,’ he spoke quietly, but when it was not enough he reached out to lay a hand on his brother’s shoulder. ‘Loki,’ he repeated a bit more firmly, giving the shoulder a small shake. Loki made a noise as he startled awake, then the arm that was between his side and the back of the sofa swiftly lashed out.

Thor put up a hand to block, and he was happy that he put on his vambraces already, because he caught the glint of a small blade in Loki’s hand. He turned his hand around to grab hold of Loki’s wrist before he could strike again.

‘It’s me, Loki, peace,’ he said, muscles tense with strain. For having just woken up, there was much strength in Loki’s arm.

Loki blinked at him, then let his arm drop. Thor gave his shoulder another squeeze then let go as well.

‘That was foolish,’ Loki said plainly.

Thor contemplated telling him why he woke him up, but he bit back the words. Loki either remembered his bad dream or he did not, but he probably wouldn’t want to be told that Thor witnessed such a moment.

‘I felt good about my chances,’ he said instead.

Loki just huffed, turning his head away to stare up at the ceiling. Thor stayed next to him for now, the stillness of the room, the almost darkness, it engulfed them in a sense of quiet peace. It felt good to share space without anger and poison between them. Thor dreaded breaking the silence, giving the moment up.

‘We need to act now… today, while it’s not too late,’ Loki spoke then. ‘If you and your comrades have doubts, we will just have to go on our own.’

‘I hate it when you give me ultimatums,’ Thor sighed.

‘I’m telling you how it is,’ Loki responded. ‘To be able to do what he did to the Captain, Chthon must be close to returning. There is no more time left to idle… or debate.’

It sounded reasonable to strike down their foes before they could wreck more damage, but a lot would depend on what Steve decided and how the rest of the Avengers felt. Thor was also uncertain. He understood well that Loki had selfish reasons to join this fight against the Darkholders, but he wished to believe that this selfish reason was not some foolish greed for Chthon’s power. If the visions Loki shared with him were true, if he could believe Leah’s words… if, if, if…

‘I could call Sif and the Warriors Three to aid us,’ Thor said. ‘The Darkholders would be no match--’

‘No,’ Loki said, his voice going hard. ‘I do not want them here, and James will not trust them. He’s accepted the Avengers for his Captain’s sake, but he will draw the line at strangers.’

‘They are not strangers, and you know very well that none of them would ever betray my trust.’

‘Your trust, your friends… no,’ Loki hissed, sounding truly angry now as he got up from the sofa. He seemed almost relaxed a moment ago, now it was all gone. Thor stood up as well.

‘If the situation is this dire, there is no room for something as impractical as dislike,’ Thor argued.

‘We do not know what pages the Darkholders have,’ Loki said, looking back at him. ‘We do not know what powers they wield, or how many demons will be standing in our way.’

‘All the more reason to have more warriors on our side.’

‘All the more reason to make sure we have as little suspicion and distrust in our midst as possible. The Avengers are one thing, they do not trust me, but they have faith in one another, faith in you, and the Captain… your precious friends would be too busy being cautious around me to be of any use.’

‘You are being unreasonable,’ Thor said.

‘Am I?’ Loki shot back. ‘Well, you are welcome to stay out of this then.’

Loki was not wrong about Thor’s friends showing concern. They lost hope in Loki a long time ago, and they did not have it in them to expect anything but the worst. It was out of love, Thor knew that, they knew how much losing Loki hurt Thor. They didn’t want to see him in pain again, they didn’t want him to hope only to be betrayed again. They might think he was blinded by his brotherly love again… especially since Thor had not told them that Loki was alive when he visited them in Asgard. He mostly just discussed the matter of Balder…

‘Very well,’ Thor agreed with a sigh. ‘The Avengers are the finest warriors you can get on this Realm, so their strength should be more than enough.’

Loki looked at him long and hard, probably trying to gauge whether Thor really gave in or if he just stopped arguing for the time being.

‘But if something goes wrong and Chthon enters this world, we will call Asgard for aid,’ Thor added resolutely.

Loki opened his mouth, probably to protest, but Thor continued quickly.

‘Balder, I must tell you about Balder,’ he said, cutting off whatever Loki wanted to say. ‘You have a right to know.’

Loki crossed his arms and leaned on the sofa a bit, it was oddly casual, considering their conversation, so it must’ve been deliberate.

‘I know of Balder,’ he said.

Thor frowned deeply, then he remembered. ‘Right, Lady Leah followed me to Asgard. She’s been there before I presume, so how long have you known?’

‘Long enough,’ Loki said vaguely.

‘It is so strange to think--’

‘Just another lie in the House of Odin, nothing strange about it,’ Loki said dismissively.

‘This is a bit more than that, Loki,’ Thor said gravely.

‘Yes, it is more,’ Loki answered. ‘More than just another lie, another secret, another son denied the truth… it’s a testament of Odin’s cold heart and endless machinations.’

Thor gave him a hard look.

‘Oh, you disagree, what would you call it then? A child from a woman Odin might’ve fancied for a heartbeat, hidden away in the farthest corner of the Realm Eternal. Unwanted, but still left in the care of a loyal general… raised well just in case he ever found use for him.’

Thor wanted to argue that they did not know their father’s reasons, but it was hard to defend him. It was difficult to defend him when it came to the lies about Loki… it was even more difficult to find the right words now. Balder was left in Skornheim all these years, his heritage a secret to all. Ever since Thor met him in Asgard he tried to figure out why things happened this way, but he just couldn’t think of anything but Odin wanting to hide the evidence of his infidelity.

‘I would still hear his explanation,’ Thor settled on in the end.

‘Excuses, you mean,’ Loki said in return. ‘You’d be better off not caring about those.’

‘We cannot allow such things to fester eternally,’ Thor said. ‘It will poison us.’

‘Odin poisoned us,’ Loki said darkly. It was the first time he heard Loki speak with such anger about their father. Oh, he cursed Thor and he cursed Odin too, but not like this. Something changed. Maybe it was their Mother’s death, maybe it had more to do with Balder, maybe he had other reasons.

‘He made us this way,’ Loki continued, his anger simmering quietly. ‘Balder’s lucky to have escaped it.’

‘You cannot blame him for everything,’ Thor reasoned tiredly.

‘Everything? No,’ Loki agreed. ‘But I can blame him for a great many things.’

Thor didn’t feel like arguing. Some things were between Loki and their Father and he could not make it better, only worse, by intervening.

Silence hung between them heavily, nowhere near as peaceful as before.

‘You liked him, did you not?’ Loki asked then.

‘Who?’

‘Balder… kind and brave, loved by many. You would have made a perfect picture, had you grown up together.’

‘Don’t, Loki, do not do this,’ Thor asked him.

‘What? Is it not the truth? You take one look at him and wonder how anyone could believe that I was actually of Odin’s blood.’

‘You’ve met him then?’ Thor asked.

‘He sits on the throne of Asgard, and you’ve accepted it so readily,’ Loki said, evading the question.

‘Father--’

Loki gave him a look, which made Thor fall silent. He knew this particular expression, because Loki always made the same face when he though Thor was being slow about something.

‘You really think it was Odin who told him the truth?’ Loki asked. He stared at Thor until the meaning of his words sank in, then he pushed himself away from the sofa he was leaning on, straightened his shoulders, and tipped his chin up in challenge.

‘If it would have been up to him, he would have left your _little brother_ in Skornheim for the rest of his days. You think he would want the people of Asgard to know about his treacherous nature?’

‘What did you do?’ Thor asked.

‘Isn’t this what you wanted? Someone so good and trustworthy like him guarding the throne, defending Asgard… all that responsibility you’re so reluctant to take on now sits on someone else’s shoulders.’

‘This is all your doing… replacing Heimdall with Brunnhilde, the Einherjar with the Warriors of Skornheim… Balder knew you were alive? All this time?’

No, Thor stopped that line of thought, because there was something even more important to think about.

‘If you put Balder on the throne… what happened to Father?’

‘Why he succumbed to the Odinsleep,’ Loki answered plainly.

‘Do not lie to me, Loki. The truth, I want to hear it!’

‘Oh, the truth? Demanding truth from your trickster of a brother again?’

‘Loki,’ Thor warned, losing his patience now. He tried to keep calm, he tried his best, but there was anger pulsing beneath the surface now, a storm brewing in his eyes.

‘Did I cause his Odinsleep?’ Loki asked. ‘What does it matter? Did I cause the last one? We argued when it happened then, does that make it my fault?’

‘Depends on what else you did,’ Thor told him.

‘Magic gets tiring with old age, he should’ve known his limits,’ Loki said.

‘No, enough with the cryptic answers, Loki, tell me.’

‘You are surprisingly calm,’ Loki said, evading answering again.

‘Not for long if you keep up with these games,’ Thor warned, both of his fists tightly clenched.

‘No games, Thor, I am very serious,’ Loki said. ‘What do you think happened when he realized I was back in Asgard? Things were said… and I refused to be imprisoned again. The rest should be obvious.’

Thor stared at him, long and hard, but he knew Loki would not say more. There was a defiant look in his eyes that was as unyielding as ice. There was more said than just words, more things happened, but he would not hear about it today, not from Loki.

He knew not where he found the strength to remain composed, but there was no storm gathering outside the tower, and he did not call for Mjölnir either. Loki had a lot of cards in his hand right now, he set up his game pieces very well. Thor did not know how much influence he had over Balder, over Asgard through him. But he knew Loki did not need to speak of any of this; he could have kept these secrets… maybe that was the source of Thor’s calm.

‘Why tell me the truth now?’ he asked, keeping his voice quiet, hoping the peace they had this morning could maybe return in some way.

‘Leah spoke the truth,’ Loki said, deliberately relaxing his shoulders, half-turning away from Thor. ‘What I’m doing here is a lot more dangerous than any of you could truly understand.’

‘You expect to fail?’ Thor asked, more than a little surprised.

‘I expect things to be very different by the time all is said and done… better or worse, I do not know… but different.’

‘So you wanted me to know because…’

‘You would come to much worse conclusions on your own,’ Loki said, giving him a little smirk.

‘You are so infuriating,’ Thor sighed, his body still humming with anger. He didn’t have it in him to do anything about it.

‘You’re still calm, I am shocked,’ Loki said.

‘I am not, but we will never get anywhere if we keep repeating the same mistakes,’ Thor told him. ‘When Father wakes he will be furious with you.’

‘So nothing new,’ Loki said. ‘And I don’t care how angry he will be.’

Thor thought that was not quite true, but he knew better than to poke at it.

‘And what will become of Balder, when he wakes?’

‘I wouldn’t be worried about him,’ Loki shrugged. ‘Not with how quickly he’s gaining the love of Asgard.’

‘And with Valkyrie and the Warriors of Skornheim standing by his side,’ Thor added. ‘You have given him a lot of power.’

‘No, I gave him the truth, and an opportunity to prove his worth… the rest was all him. He did a lot more than I ever expected.’

‘I think…’ Thor started, not entirely sure how to phrase it. ‘You did right by him, by Asgard, while I was absent. I’m glad he knows the truth, and also that we know him. We did grow up surrounded by lies… Father’s lies. Don’t think I’m not angered by what it did to us all.’

‘You’ve forgiven him though,’ Loki said.

‘Fate can be cruel,’ Thor said. ‘You cannot know when someone will be taken from you.’

Thor would never forget what it felt like when Loki was suddenly gone. How much he thought about all the things he should’ve said or done. He remembered all his mistakes, while the times they were happy faded into grey memories. It made him not want to waste time. Maybe he was still angry about some of the things his Father did, but he did his best to understand, to forgive. It was not easy, some days he still felt betrayed and hurt down to his very bones.

Their Mother was taken from them just as abruptly… then he thought he lost Loki again… he simply did not want to live his life in regret.

‘Forgive or not, do what you please,’ Loki said. ‘But I do have a lesson here that you should learn.’

‘Which is?’ Thor prompted.

‘That we do not need him, not his protection, not his approval. We don’t need anything from him,’ Loki said. ‘Balder didn’t need him all these years, and Asgard does not need him now… when he wakes, remember that.’

Thor considered the words carefully, because even if Loki spoke more cruelly than Thor would’ve liked, there was still some truth in there. Wasn’t that just a great truth about Loki? He might be spitting in anger, throwing harsh words at your heart like daggers, but there was always a sliver of truth buried somewhere. Even long before things have fallen apart Loki had a talent for using uncomfortable truths as a weapon. That’s why he made enemies so easily, people could ignore malicious lies, but the truth, oh not the truth. There was nowhere to hide from that once it’s been dragged out from the shadows for all to see.

‘Let’s make sure we win this battle before we worry about what happens after,’ Thor said.

‘Very well,’ Loki agreed. ‘Round up your companions then. If I have my way, the Darkholders will be dead before sunset.’

‘HELEN,’ Thor spoke. ‘Wake everyone. We have much to plan before we ride to battle.’

The AI confirmed his request right away as Thor shared a look with Loki. There were still many things left unsaid, but Thor couldn’t help but feel that they have stepped onto a road that led to a brighter future for them both.

* * *


	47. Chapter 47

‘Should I be concerned that you’re so damn eager to jump on board with Loki’s plan?’ Bucky asked.

‘I just agreed that we need to act quickly,’ Steve said, pulling his undershirt over his head. ‘I didn’t agree to any other plan yet.’

Although Steve had a feeling that there would be no elaborate plan to make. Loki would find their location and they will attack. There was no way to gather intel or scout out the location in advance. They probably won’t even have the element of surprise, because the Darkholders were already expecting them. The way Thor called it felt oddly accurate, it was more a “battle” than a “mission”.

He felt Bucky’s hands on his waist, and then a moment later he felt Bucky’s chest press up to his back.

‘I know that look on your face, you made up your mind, you wanna charge in with guns blazing.’

Steve sighed.

‘Is there any other way to do this?’ Steve asked, leaning back a little to press closer to Bucky. ‘I thought about this already, trust me. Do you see any other way?’

‘It just feels too risky,’ Bucky said.

‘We don’t always have the choice to pick a safer course of action,’ Steve reminded him.

‘Yeah,’ Bucky agreed, but he was not happy about it. Steve turned around to look at him, but he stayed as close to him as he could.

‘I’d rather take this risk than give them more time to let Chthon through…’

‘I know, I just… they will be prepared, they’re expecting us. I don’t like not knowing what we’re getting ourselves into.’

‘Yeah, me neither,’ Steve agreed. ‘But we also have the best of the best, so to speak, so that makes me worry less.’

‘You really do trust this team,’ Bucky remarked.

‘I really do,’ Steve agreed. ‘We can do this.’

Bucky huffed a little and smiled, his hands moving up and down on Steve’s waist. ‘When you say that, I actually believe it,’ he said.

Steve reached out to put his hand on the side of Bucky’s neck and leaned in to kiss him. They didn’t linger for too long, but the touch still left Steve’s skin tingling.

‘Good,’ he smiled as well.

After everything Bucky’s been thought, his trust meant more than Steve could ever put into words.

‘Everyone’s waiting,’ Bucky reminded him after they kept staring at one another silently for a bit too long. Steve nodded and quickly kissed him on the lips again, then let go of him. Bucky’s hands also dropped from his waist. Maybe it was cheesy and he was a big sap right now, but he started missing the touch as soon as it was gone.

Steve quickly finished putting on his gear, because he didn’t want to waste much time getting ready once they were good to go. Bucky felt the same way, because he got into his combat gear as well.

‘You know, I wasn’t sure Loki would be back this soon,’ Bucky commented. ‘So I kinda had a different plan for this morning.’

Steve couldn’t help but smile, the teasing was a bit different, but Steve could still hear the flirty undertone that he remembered from their occasional doubly dates. He turned to look at Bucky again.

‘Yeah?’ he asked. Bucky didn’t have all his guns on him yet, but otherwise he seemed ready to go. It was still strange to see him in all-black, but Steve knew he could get used to it. This was what Bucky preferred now, especially for missions.

‘Yeah,’ Bucky nodded, his face open, his smile honest. Steve was so damn happy to see that look on his face, it made his heart swell.

‘Rain check?’ he offered with a smile. ‘I’m sure I’m gonna like that plan of yours.’

Bucky walked up to him again, looking thoughtful.

‘Rain check, yeah,’ he agreed. ‘So no unnecessary risks, deal?’

‘Buck--’ Steve sighed, because their definition of unnecessary was probably different in this situation.

‘Just... deal?’

Steve found it hard to argue, because he knew exactly where Bucky was coming from.

‘Same goes for you,’ he said. Maybe Steve was known to be more reckless, but Bucky seemed to have a bad habit of getting himself injured. Bucky huffed and shook his head in exasperation, but there was the same old fondness in the gesture that Steve remembered from before.

‘Yeah, you got it,’ he agreed.

‘Okay, deal,’ Steve nodded.

Bucky knew that Steve would do what needed to be done, and Steve knew Bucky would do the same, but it still felt good to make this promise.

* * *

‘Nice of you to join us,’ Tony said the second the elevator opened. Steve bet he was keeping an eye on the doors just to get his timing right.

‘You only got here two minutes ago, Tony,’ Bruce commented, making the other huff and shoot an exaggerated look of betrayal in his direction. He and Bruce were sitting comfortably on one of the smaller sofas. Well, Tony looked comfortable, Bruce seemed a bit more uncomfortable.

It seemed like Steve and Bucky were the last to arrive, because everyone else was already there, including Loki and Leah, which explained Bruce’s discomfort. Steve also spotted Leah’s wooden chest that was sitting in the infirmary all this time. Well, it was time to gear up, so whatever she had in there, it was bound to be useful.

‘All good, Steve?’ Sam asked. His face said that he had a lot of questions, probably about Bucky, but he was not going to ask them right away, not here and now.

‘Yeah, we’re good,’ Steve nodded, giving Sam a reassuring smile. There was no time to explain everything, but Sam was a good friend and he would put aside his questions if Steve told him things were okay. That’s exactly what happened. Sam nodded back, only glancing at Bucky briefly, and let the matter drop. Steve knew they would have some discussion about it later, once this was done and over with.

‘Right, so are we actually doing this?’ Natasha asked. She was all geared up, but obviously she still had doubts. Steve was not surprised at all.

‘I believe the Darkholders pose a threat we cannot ignore,’ Thor spoke up. ‘All the demons they have unleashed on us, on cities filled with innocent civilians, all the men Amora used for some dark spell, they perished after a great deal of suffering, we all saw that… that is all the proof we need of what they are capable of.’

‘You have not seen the worst of what demons can do’ Strange added. ‘Believe me that the N’Garai are far from the most dangerous creatures in Chthon’s world. If he comes through, the rest will come with him.’

‘And what about that other Elder God?’ Clint asked. ‘The one Barnes works for.’

‘Gaea’s been around long before humans managed to climb off trees,’ Bucky said, crossing his arms. ‘If she wanted us gone, we would have been destroyed thousands of years ago.’

‘She’s literally the one we call “Mother Nature”, isn’t she?’ Bruce asked. ‘Like… I’m going to have to re-evaluate the “Gaia hypothesis”… especially if Elder Gods are really as powerful as you all say. If Chthon was able to “create” a whole world… that’s…’

‘That’s giving me a headache,’ Tony said. ‘Just thinking about the physics of it, let alone the energy it would take to do something like that.’

‘If she’s so powerful, why can’t she fight him herself?’ Natasha asked. ‘She should be able to kick his ass back to where it belongs.’

‘Humans are the ones trying to free Chthon, so her logic dictates that humans should be the ones to stop it,’ Loki commented, looking a little bored. ‘She leaves your fate in your own hands… so to speak. That’s something you are all usually very keen on… or does it start to sound good to be under the rule of a benevolent god? I’m sure we could arrange something.’

‘You are not helping your case here,’ Steve told him.

‘My case is that we are wasting time,’ Loki answered in return. ‘We either act now or we will be forced to deal with Chthon instead of just the Darkholders.’

‘I’d rather deal with overpowered humans than some ancient god demon,’ Wanda said. ‘If those are our two options.’

‘One threat is significantly greater than the other,’ Vision added. ‘And I’d hate to be too late to act.’

‘Steve, you had some valid concerns yesterday,’ Sam looked at him. ‘You think we should do this?’

‘I do,’ Steve answered. ‘We have to take one thing at a time. We can’t lose the chance to stop something disastrous from happening by being too cautious.’

‘But what if something even worse happens because we are not careful enough?’ Natasha asked. Steve didn’t have the right answer to that. He trusted Bucky, but he knew that wouldn’t be enough for most of the team.

‘You changed your mind quickly,’ Clint said.

‘Trust me, I did a lot of thinking,’ Steve said, first looking at Natasha then glancing over to Tony as well. He also saw Thor nodding from the corner of his eye. This wasn’t just about trusting Bucky. He unloaded a lot of worries and thoughts that were weighting heavily on his mind, and it helped him see things clearer now.

‘All right… are we gonna vote or something?’ Tony asked.

‘This is ridiculous,’ Leah interrupted. She looked stormy as she turned to open up her chest. ‘If you do not want to join us, then you can stay behind. We wasted enough time already.’

‘I will have to agree at least a little,’ Thor said. ‘The sooner we act the better, and the best would be if we stood together, united against a common foe.’

‘James,’ Leah said, holding out a box for him. Bucky walked closer to take it from her.

‘More of those magic bullets?’ Sam guessed, eyeing the box in his hand.

‘We’re gonna need them,’ Bucky answered simply. ‘And more.’

‘So what else do you have in that chest?’ Strange wondered out loud.

‘Yeah, some of us are very soft and squishy,’ Pietro remarked.

‘Well, then you hopefully have the skill to make up for it,’ Leah answered.

‘Funny,’ Pietro drawled.

‘So that’s the plan?’ Bruce asked. ‘We’re just going to march in there and start some all-out brawl?’

‘Basically,’ Steve answered.

‘More or less,’ Loki said at the exact same time. Steve shut his mouth abruptly, while Loki looked simply amused.

‘Wow, I am so uncomfortable right now,’ Tony added.

‘Let’s just get ready,’ Steve said. Tony put up his hands, making a comically innocent face. To be honest, it was actually good to see that Tony was in a fairly good mood. He also didn’t protest much so far, which made everything easier. Steve, Thor, and Tony rarely agreed on something entirely, because sometimes they had very different ideas about solving issues. They seemed to be in agreement right now, and that was probably why Natasha didn’t raise more questions, voice more of her doubts.

Tony and Sam were the only ones to leave the floor, as everyone else already seemed to have what they needed with them.

‘Do you have a new weapon for me then?’ Loki asked, finally standing up to walk up to Leah.

‘I do,’ she said, searching around in the chest. It definitely looked much deeper than it should’ve been to Steve.

Leah found what she was looking for and held out something small and metallic to Loki. When the thing exchanged hands Steve caught a glimpse of it. It looked like the grip of a sword, but there was no blade. Well, there was no blade until Loki took it in his hand, but then it lit up with a faint glow and transformed into something a bit similar to what his spear was like. The sword was opaque, slightly transparent, but it didn’t have the same icy blue colour the spear did. This weapon had a tint of dark orange in it, like a low-burning fire, or molten glass.

‘It’s been some years since I last saw you wielding a sword, brother,’ Thor said.

‘It feels oddly fitting for some reason,’ Loki said, turning the blade around, staring at it.

‘Where do you get these stuff?’ Pietro asked. He’s been through a lot with the Avengers already, but this sort of technology (magic?) was still probably new to him. He had a curious look on his face, but he had enough self-restraint not to hover over Leah’s shoulder asking questions.

‘The Nine Realms is a vast place,’ Thor said. ‘You can find everything you could ever need, if you know where to look.’

Leah slammed the top of the chest down, making Pietro jump and Bruce startle a bit. Steve tensed from the sudden loud sound.

‘What?’ Bucky asked, frowning at her. She looked around, still kneeling next to the now closed chest, turning her head left and right.

‘Something’s... something’s wrong,’ she said.

Loki lowered the sword and quickly glanced around, a frown darkening his face.

Bruce stood up from the couch too, and everyone was immediately a lot more alert than a second before, keeping their eyes on everything around them.

‘What is it?’ Strange asked. ‘I cannot--’

Bruce swayed on his feet, stepping back to grab the armrest of the couch.

‘Bruce?’ Clint asked, taking a step closer to him.

Bruce mumbled something, then he dropped... he just dropped, crumbling like a sack of potatoes. Clint was there in two quick steps, catching him before his head could hit the floor.

Steve didn’t have time to run over, as a moment later Loki’s sword clattered to the floor. A man stood in front of him, his old and wrinkly face stretched into a sharp smile, and a very distinctive tarnished horned helmet sat on top of his head. He wrapped a hand around Loki’s neck and had a tight grip on the arm that previously held the sword too. Loki had his back to the rest of them, so he must’ve turned to face the intruder, but he was too slow to act.

‘In the midst of the Avengers,’ the old man said, distaste dripping from his every word. ‘You thought I wouldn’t find you?’ he asked, speaking to Loki, but keeping his eyes on everyone in the room. Nobody launched into action yet, but they were all ready to go. Loki strained to get out of the hold, but he didn’t start trashing to get away. Not yet anyway, he was probably thinking about it.

It worried Steve, the way Bruce went down, but he kept his eyes on Loki and the old man.

The old man looked around, his eyes sharp and slightly too bright. He pulled Loki closer, forcefully turning his head a little until a few of his red locks fell into his face. The old man turned his head to look at it with narrowed eyes.

‘Harbinger,’ he hissed. ‘What have you done?’

Vision moved, the second he old man’s attention was elsewhere, but before he could reach the two of them the old man shifted his stance, lifted Loki up in the air, and slammed him back down into the floor.

The was an incredibly loud crack as the wooden floor and concrete underneath was smashed through from the impact. More and more sharp cracks followed, and suddenly the entire floor started breaking into pieces underneath them. Within a second Steve lost sight of everyone as he fell through the floor, trying to grab hold of something, anything among the falling furniture and sharp pieces of steel and concrete. He had no idea if they would fall only one floor or more.

He caught a piece of metal, but he smacked right into a wall, or a larger piece of the floor, losing his grip almost immediately. He managed to step on something slightly soft, probably one of the sofas, to leap aside to avoid a few chairs that were sliding in his direction... then came the bar itself, with bottles and glasses already raining down on him, the spilled alcohol making things slippery. The bar thankfully fell further down before it could reach him. He landed hard on something, and he felt at least a few pieces of glass cutting him. He had no idea which floor this was... his bones felt intact, nothing hurt that much, so he probably didn’t fall more than a floor... maybe two.

He heard a crack of lighting, then another loud crack of wood, then something metallic... Thor was fighting, but Steve couldn’t see him. Things were still falling and hitting the floor around him, there was a hole not that far away from him. That made him jump into action, getting on his feet to look for the others.

Large pieces of the floor and a number of other things were covered in a sheen of red glow above him, so Wanda was trying to keep things together as much as she could. Steve spotted her kneeling within a pile of debris, while a quick smear of blue, Pietro, kept circling her, trying to keep as much of the smaller debris and furniture away from her as possible.

The floor shifted under Steve’s feet as he took a few steps, so he slowed down and tried to walk more carefully. He had no idea how stable this floor was, or if there was anyone underneath them. There was too much debris in the way to catch sight of anyone else.

‘Don’t worry about us,’ Wanda shouted without looking at him. ‘We’ll be fine… go help the others.’

They did seem to have things under control for the time being, but who knew where everyone else was. Not everyone from their team could handle a big fall that well. So Steve quickly searched for a path through the debris. There was that metallic sound again, it reminded Steve of the sound of chains, as weird as it was.

He carefully made his way over to the hole in the floor, because he wanted to check if he could see anyone further down below.

‘HELEN?’ he tried, wondering if the AI was still around.

There was the sizzling cracking sound of a damaged speaker and it took Steve a moment to understand some of the words. ‘ _..elp is on its way... Steve..._ ’

Tony was probably already working on evacuating them all. He really could be counted on in emergencies like this, because he had a plan in place for almost every scenario. The thought didn’t stop Steve from worrying, he needed to find everyone else, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Bruce... he wasn’t that worried about Thor and Vision, but not being able to see them was still a little concerning. He wondered how Strange was... he was rather close to Loki and the old man when this all happened, so Steve hoped he would be okay. As far as Steve knew, physically he was like any other human, so he could be seriously injured. Steve hoped that was not the case.

When he reached the hole he was relieved to find that the floor below seemed only mildly damaged... there was yet another hole, exactly under the one Steve was next to, but the crash didn’t cause as much damage as here and above. He was about to descend further down to see if anyone was down there when he caught the old man’s voice... he had a few ideas about who it was, but he really didn’t want to jump into conclusions.

‘Of course it’s you, always meddling, always interfering,’ he said to someone. ‘You think you can make a difference? You think any of this matters?’

‘You know it matters, or you wouldn’t be this scared,’ Leah answered, her voice quiet but full of spite.

The old man growled angrily and Steve made his way around the hole quickly to catch sight of them. He didn’t have any weapons on him, but he couldn’t just stand around and not try to do something.

‘Oh, so you convinced the little boy that he can make a difference,’ the old man mocked. ‘Well, I’ll just have to show him how wrong he is, teach him a good hard lesson. Stop wiggling, you little worm! I’ve had enough of your scheming. I killed you once, I can kill you again just as easily.’

‘You can’t erase my existence,’ Leah told him.

Steve finally caught sight of them on the far side of the room. They were separated from him by a large pile of rubble, but Steve was sure he could find a way over. The old man had her pinned to a wall by her neck, her feet not reaching the floor. Steve couldn’t see her face, but her voice was calm still.

‘Tell me... do I still haunt your dreams?’

It was maybe just dust or smoke, but Steve could swear he saw dark shadows gathering around the two of them, like light was getting sucked out of existence. It was surreal, but also made Steve feel a little cold, like something horrible was about to happen.

The old man tightened his hand, shoved her harder into the wall. The darkness encroached further, but the quick sound of something flying through the air made the old man swiftly turn to catch the arrow flying at his head. He tossed it away and glared up to where the thing came from. He swatted another arrow out of the air with his gold arm guard, then he had to turn even more to catch a third flying at him. Clint was not letting up, that much was clear.

‘I will--’ the old man started, but he yelled in pain and stumbled forward, his words getting cut off. He dropped Leah to take a few steps, trying to reach something on his back. Another arrow flew at him, this time actually finding its target, stabbing through two pieces of the dark armour, releasing an electric charge that didn’t nearly do enough damage. It just made him twitch a little.

The old man found what he was looking for and pulled it out of his back with a pained hiss. It was a long bloody dagger and the old man stared at it with anger and maybe even shock. Steve used the opportunity of his attention being elsewhere to get closer, maybe to grab Leah and jump down a floor, out of harm’s way.

It was Bucky who threw the dagger, Steve spotted him fairly quickly. Unfortunately, the old man did too. His hand lit up with green magic and he hurled a ball of energy at him. It exploded on impact, sending a new shock-wave through the whole floor. Steve shouted Bucky’s name in alarm, giving away his position, but he couldn’t help himself.

Bucky threw up his metal arm as his only defence... Steve held his breath, his heart threatening to pound out of his chest in fear. Cold sweat broke out on his skin and he tried to run through the destroyed floor as quickly as he could.

But as the green light faded Steve could see that Bucky was still there, kneeling on the broken wooden floor, his metal arm smoking slightly, but undamaged. The single green rune on the back of his metal hand glowed almost blindingly bright.

The old man seemed stunned by surprise for a moment, but he didn’t have time to comment or try a different way to attack him, because he got surrounded by purple and blue glowing symbols as Doctor Strange descended from above.

Okay, so he could fly, that was good to know. There was blood dripping down his face, but his expression was that of pure determination. His hands glowed with magic and his medallion pulsed with light. The old man lifted a hand, but the symbols around him immediately started glowing even brighter.

‘No,’ Strange said, turning his hands and lifting his arms in the old man’s direction. ‘You do not belong here.’

Steve had no idea what he did, but as the floating symbols changed and lit up once more the old man vanished, like he got sucked into a wormhole. It was over quickly, the old man couldn’t even say a word, he was standing there one moment and then the next he was gone. Sent back to where he came from, Steve assumed.

Strange’s magic faded as he landed a few steps away from Leah. He crouched down right away to check up on her. Steve ran for Bucky to make sure he was okay. The ground was still too unstable for his liking, but he didn’t much care for the danger. Bucky was still down on the floor when Steve got there, but he was sitting now, staring at his arm, or more specifically, at the green rune on the back of his hand.

‘Bucky,’ Steve called. ‘Are you okay?’

Bucky turned to look at him, then he immediately stood up and wrapped him up in a hard embrace. Steve hugged back tightly.

‘You stink of whiskey,’ Bucky told him quietly after a beat of silence, which made Steve aware of all the alcohol that poured down on him, making his skin and suit sticky. It made him huff in relief, because being covered in alcohol was actually the worst thing that happened to him. None of the cuts from the glass were serious either.

‘Yeah, I’m okay,’ Steve said, giving Bucky a reassuring squeeze. They let got after a moment, but stayed close.

‘Did you know that would happen?’ Steve asked, gesturing at Bucky’s bionic arm. ‘I thought the rune was only to call Loki.’

‘I thought so too,’ Bucky answered. ‘Apparently not.’

Normally Steve would have been alarmed about the fact that Loki obviously waved some magic Bucky didn’t know about, but whatever it was exactly, it definitely protected him from an attack that could’ve caused a lot of damage... Hell, it could’ve killed him.

Steve didn’t want to think about that, how this all went down. How quickly things went to hell, how easily this could’ve gone even worse. He needed to know if everyone was okay.

He turned to try and find Clint, because he must’ve been close on the floor above. He spotted him still crouching on the edge of the large hole above them, the floor under his feet covered in red light. It was Wanda keeping things together, so they needed to get out of here quickly.

‘Where’s Natasha and Bruce?’ Steve asked.

‘Bruce is here,’ Clint answered. ‘No idea about Natasha or Vision... he just vanished.’

‘Thor?’ Steve asked next.

‘That might be tricky,’ Clint shouted down. ‘Come up here.’

‘Go,’ Bucky said. ‘I’ll find Loki. He might be further down.’

Steve nodded and they went their separate ways.

‘HELEN, how quickly can we secure and evacuate these floors?’

A speaker not that far away from him thankfully cracked to life, although the volume and the quality was all off. It was Tony’s voice that answered.

‘ _Cap, I was literally gone for a few minutes, what the hell?_ ’ he asked.

‘Trust me, I have no idea what just happened either, I’m trying to locate everyone, but Wanda’s keeping most of the floor above me together, so we need to do something about that quickly.’

‘ _I’m already on it_ ,’ Tony said. ‘ _Hill’s on her way with a Quintjet. There are probably some broken windows, but just break one if not and get out. I’ll handle the rest._ ’

‘See if you can find Vision or Natasha,’ Steve asked him.

‘ _I lost way too many cameras, but I’ll see what I can do. Just round up everyone you can find._ ’

‘Got it,’ Steve told him as he finally found a place where he could climb back up to the floor above safely. Clint walked around to give him a hand getting back up. He seemed relatively unharmed, but there would be some serious bruising on him for sure. Steve really hoped he didn’t crack any bones.

‘Bruce is still out and I hope he’s just asleep,’ Clint told him as soon as Steve was safely up next to him.

‘I’m sure Strange can figure it out,’ Steve told him.

‘Yeah, an actual doctor with magic powers,’ Clint agreed, looking relieved. ‘You can’t get a better expert than that.’

‘Where’s Thor?’ Steve asked.

Clint sighed and turned to point at a far corner of the room. Oh, Steve was right about the sound of chains dammit. He had no idea where they came from, probably magic, but Thor was wrapped up pretty tightly, his hammer lying further away from him, also chained down. That had to be some disconcertingly powerful magic at work.

‘Stay with Bruce,’ Steve turned back to Clint. ‘Maria’s on her way to evacuate us.’

Clint nodded and walked off as Steve made his way over to Thor.

‘Are you all right, my friend?’ Thor asked. He seemed a bit too calm considering the predicament he was in.

‘You’re taking this pretty well,’ Steve remarked, waving a hand around to indicate all the chains.

‘I cannot break the chains. I attempted to free myself, but I’m afraid it would just cause more damage to the building,’ Thor said. ‘I neither want to hurt any of you, nor destroy Tony’s home.’

Oh, that was an annoyingly good way to trap Thor. Steve looked at the chains wrapped around Mjölnir and how it connected to the ones around Thor. Some parts of the chains were embed in the floor or the walls, even the ceiling. It was easy to see Thor’s problem.

‘And you can’t call your hammer, cause once those chains are broken this whole thing will collapse here.’

Steve was pretty sure it was mostly Wanda keeping things together on this floor and below, if Thor broke free things would get a lot worse.

‘And I cannot call my lightning to aid me either, as the chains will channel the electricity,’ Thor said. ‘If there was still a battle to fight I would risk it, but we are safe for now, so I can wait. Is everyone all right?’

‘We don’t know where Vision or Natasha is,’ Steve told him. ‘Bucky went to find Loki.’

Thor’s face darkened a little.

‘I’m sure he’s fine.’

‘Yes, he will be, that’s not what worries me,’ Thor said with a sigh, then he shook his head. ‘Go if you must, I’ll be fine. I’m sure Loki or the good Doctor Strange will be able to free me from this magical prison.’

‘That was Loki, right?’ Steve asked, because the thought’s been nagging his mind from the second the old man showed up. ‘A different Loki.’

‘Yes, it was Loki,’ Thor confirmed.

‘A lot of things suddenly make sense, but I’m also very confused about other things... if that makes sense.’

‘Yes, I does,’ Thor agreed.

‘Careful,’ Steve heard Strange’s voice and he turned to see him helping Leah sit on the floor. It couldn’t be his imagination, there was still some swirling liquid darkness surrounding her. She must’ve lost her hairpins, because her long hair was flowing freely, covering most of her face. Then Steve noticed all the dark lines on her pale hand. He frowned and walked closer.

Strange gave him a look that said that he was unsure about something, which considering what Steve knew about him at this point, was not reassuring.

‘I’m not sure if I can do anything here,’ Strange said, which prompted Steve to crouch down next to them as well.

‘Leah?’ Steve called her name.

She sighed deeply and straightened up, her hair finally falling away from her face. Steve was rendered silent for a long moment. The dark lines were cracks, tiny spider-web cracks scattering her skin. She looked like an old cracked porcelain doll, and when she finally turned her head a little Steve saw that... _a piece_ was missing. Just under her left eye was a hole, no flesh or bone underneath it, just darkness... just nothing, emptiness.

Steve looked back at Strange, but found no answer there.

‘You two are getting on my nerves,’ Leah said plainly. Yes, the staring was probably a bit rude.

‘Right, sorry, that’s what surprise does to people,’ Steve said. ‘Tony, you there? Can you check where Bucky and Loki are? And have you found Vision and Natasha?’

‘ _One thing at a time Cap_ ,’ Tony answered after a moment, his voice coming through from a far away speaker faintly. ‘ _Hill’s close, get Barton, Bruce and Pietro on that jet, and I don’t care how much Pietro complains about leaving Wanda behind, just do it._ ’

‘You should go too, I think,’ Steve told Strange. ‘Have someone take a look at that head wound.’

‘You could still need my help,’ Strange told him.

‘I would feel better if you started looking into what happened with Bruce,’ Steve told him. ‘We can handle the rest.’

‘All right,’ Strange agreed, standing up.

‘Leah, maybe you should get down with the jet too,’ Steve offered. ‘You can meet back up with Loki and Bucky after.’

She looked at him for a moment.

‘I need to find my chest,’ she said.

‘I can--’

‘You can’t,’ she shut him down quickly, getting on her feet. ‘You won’t be able to touch it. I’ll meet you down below.’

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Steve asked, because she didn’t look okay.

The look she gave him meant both “of course” and “of course not” at the same time, or at least that’s how Steve interpreted it. Steve let her be.

Some windows really were smashed on the floor, so it was relatively easy for Maria to fly close enough for Clint and Strange to climb through. Steve had to pick up Bruce and jump over to the jet with him, but it still went relatively smoothly.

Pietro did not listen to Steve of course, he seemed to be on edge, his accent thicker than usual and he used way too many foreign words as he spoke. Once Wanda told him to get out he was a little more agreeable, but he still kept cursing in Sokovian.

Tony was in his suit when he appeared and he had quite a few drones with him that started to attach themselves as reinforcements to the walls, ceilings, and floors that were critically damaged. Steve climbed back down to where Wanda was stuck keeping the floor above her together.

‘How are you holding up?’ Steve asked.

‘I could do this all day,’ she responded sarcastically, but it still made Steve smile.

‘The weight is lessening,’ she said. ‘I should be able to let go soon enough. You can go.’

‘I’d rather stay with you until you can get out,’ Steve said.

‘That man was powerful,’ she said after a moment of silence. ‘I don’t know how Strange managed to defeat him.’

‘He didn’t,’ Steve told her. ‘He just sent him back to where he came from.’

‘He will come back then,’ Wanda said. ‘If he did it once, he can do it again.’

She was right, and it worried Steve.

‘ _Steve!_ ’ Bucky called his name. Steve already knew he was fine, but it was still good to hear his voice again. It came though a speaker though.

‘Where are you? You okay?’ Steve called back.

‘ _Yeah, found Natasha_ ,’ he answered.

‘Nat, you okay? Steve asked, immediately a little alarmed.

‘ _I’m fine_ ,’ she said right away, sounding annoyed, maybe even pissed.

‘ _She fell like five floors,_ ’ Bucky informed him. Steve had no idea that many floors were hit, shit.

‘ _Not at once_ ,’ Natasha corrected. ‘ _I just kept sliding and moving lower to avoid being squished like a bug by Tony’s overpriced furniture._ ’

‘ _We’re not gonna climb all the way up there_ ,’ Bucky said. ‘ _I’ll meet you further down._ ’

‘Yeah, okay,’ Steve agreed. ‘You didn’t find Loki?’ Steve asked.

‘ _Oh, I found him all right_ ,’ Bucky huffed, but didn’t elaborate.

‘Well, tell him Thor is stuck, so he needs to get back up here. Leah’s...’ he didn’t know how to say it. Bucky didn’t stick around to check up on her, probably assuming she was fine and in good hands with Strange and Steve around.

‘ _Leah what?_ ’ Bucky asked.

‘Just tell Loki to get up here,’ Steve told him.

When he turned back around Wanda was standing next to him, her magic no longer vibrating all around them.

‘Let’s get you out of here,’ Steve told her.

‘I can fly you know,’ she reminded him.

‘I’d rather you didn’t right now,’ Steve said. ‘Are you hurt anywhere?’

‘I’m fine,’ she said again.

‘Doesn’t answer my question,’ Steve said.

‘You are so much worse than Tony,’ she told him. ‘Let’s go back up.’

Wanda easily climbed back to the floor above, even without flying. She was strong and nimble, didn’t just rely on her powers. She must’ve been training hard as hell since she joined the Avengers. Steve was kind of sad that he missed so much, that he still didn’t know her and Pietro as much as he probably should.

They found Leah sitting on the floor not far away from Thor, her wooden chest right next to her, and Loki’s new sword across her lap. It was still glowing orange, just the way it did when Loki took it in his hand.

Tony flew in through the broken window when he spotted them, but he didn’t land. Maybe he thought the floor was still too unstable for the weight of his suit.

‘Everyone’s accounted for, except Vision, which is kind of worrying me,’ he said.

‘The floor’s secure?’ Steve asked.

‘It’s a quick fix, but repairs are already being arranged. We should be good for now.’ Then he turned to Wanda. ‘Wanna come down so Pietro stops freaking out?’

‘The way the building started collapsing around us so suddenly,’ Wanda said, her voice turning a bit quiet, her eyes just slightly too wide. ‘It just brings up memories, he... just memories, you know what I mean.’

Yeah, they both knew what she meant. She didn’t want to talk about it though, and Tony stayed silent as well. It was impossible to tell what his expression was like under the helmet, but Steve had a pretty good guess anyway. It pained him to be reminded of the damage his weapons caused. He probably also hated that the twins were reminded of it again.

‘Go to you brother, you did your part,’ Steve told Wada. She nodded and accepted when Tony offered to fly her down. She could probably fly down herself, but it was probably not the best idea to exert herself even more, especially considering what they still had ahead of them.

Steve only just got back to Thor and Leah when Loki showed up through the hole in the floor. His hair was a mess and he looked, well... “wild” was the best word for it. His eyes were furious, his brown armour was covered in dust, he even had a large bruise on his cheek.

He stopped to stare at Thor for a moment, then he just lifted a hand, making the chains dissolve into nothing. Admittedly, Steve didn’t know anything about magic really, but it made sense in his mind that Loki could undo the magic of another Loki this easily.

Thor landed on his feet, stretching his shoulders and arms a little, then calling his hammer into his hand.

‘Thank you. Are you well, brother?’ he asked, but Loki paid him no attention, he rushed over to Leah as soon as he caught sight of her. He knelt down in front of her and cradled her face in his hands to take a good look.

‘What... what do I do?’ he asked. ‘How--’

‘This is not something you can fix,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.’

‘There has to be something to do,’ Loki insisted, his eyes still taking in the cracks. Leah reached up to take his hands off her face. The cracks were scattered on her hands too, just as Steve spotted before. It was such an obvious reminder that she was not human... but he had no idea what she was, because it didn’t seem like she was flesh and bone either.

‘He will be back,’ Leah said.

‘So we will act quickly then,’ Loki said in return. Leah didn’t seem satisfied with the answer.

‘I warned you,’ she said. ‘I told you he will notice. You didn’t listen to me!’

‘I had to--’ Loki started, but she went on, interrupting him.

‘No, we had a plan. You didn’t follow the plan,’ she said. ‘Even if we continue...’

‘Do you want this future for me?’ Loki asked, letting go of her hands now.

‘Of course not--’

‘I don’t!’ Loki snapped, standing up, gesturing at the room at large, the damage that was wrought in a matter of minutes. ‘I will not turn into this bitter mad King, whose throne sits on nothing but ashes and ruins! No, never, I will not!’

He shook his head as he looked around, then back at Leah.

‘I refuse to bow down to fate like this!’

‘That’s why we had the plan, Loki,’ Leah told him.

Loki just shook his head again, he was angry as he spoke, Steve almost expected to see flames bursting out from underneath his skin.

‘There are things no amount of trickery and planning can change,’ he said. ‘Unless I change them myself.’

Leah stared at him in silence. Thor and Steve didn’t interrupt either.

‘I don’t know what will happen,’ Leah said then, she sounded more like an actual young girl than ever before. ‘I should know, but everything is different now. I don’t know, Loki... I just don’t.’

‘Maybe that’s how we know we’re on the right path,’ Loki said when he turned back around.

Leah just made a considering sound and held out the sword.

‘We still need to be quick,’ she said. ‘Strange won’t be able to send him away this easily next time.’

Loki walked back to take the sword.

‘Let’s gather up everyone, tend to the wounds, and be on our way, we really have no time to waste,’ Thor said. Steve nodded in agreement.

Leah stood up and put her hand on the chest. It sunk into the floor after a moment, she probably sent it somewhere

‘Thor, would you mind taking Leah out of here?’ Loki asked. Thor seemed surprised for a moment.

‘No, of course not, if she doesn’t mind coming with me,’ he said.

Leah frowned at Loki, but she must’ve understood whatever was on his face, because she didn’t protest. She just calmly walked over to the large broken windows.

‘A word, Captain,’ Loki said before Steve could turn to leave as well. Thor gave Steve a questioning look.

‘It’s fine,’ Steve told him. He had no idea what Loki wanted to talk about, but he was not concerned about staying alone with him. Thor nodded and joined Leah, gingerly picking her up then leaping out into the air.

‘So?’ Steve asked.

‘The Darkholders are expecting us,’ Loki said.

‘Obviously,’ Steve answered, because he already knew that.

‘We don’t have much room to manoeuvre, but there are options.’

‘You have a plan and you want me to agree to it?’ Steve asked.

‘It’s a bit more than that,’ Loki said. ‘It all depends whether you, the great Captain America, paragon of good and noble, are against a bit of foul play or not.’

‘Foul play?’

‘To act without giving the chance to your enemies to react,’ Loki clarified.

‘War’s not pretty, Loki,’ Steve told him. ‘You think I never ordered anyone to be blown up or shot in the head from afar?’

Loki’s lips twitched a little, but he didn’t actually smile. There was still anger shimmering in his gaze.

‘Good,’ he said. ‘So let’s talk details.’

‘You know Tony can probably hear us here,’ Steve remarked.

‘He really can’t,’ Loki told him simply.

Right. Loki didn’t want anyone to hear this, not even Bucky and Leah. So this was either going to be a brilliant idea or an incredibly terrible one. Maybe both... yeah, probably both.

But he still wanted to hear it.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I'm back!


	48. Chapter 48

Tony was nervous, well actually, looking at all the signs and red flags his body was throwing up, maybe worried was a better word. Concerned, tense, distracted… yes, that was all him. His tower was attacked before, but never with such ease. Bruce, Thor and Vision were their heaviest hitters and they went down first. Well, not really _down_ , but they were taken out of the fight without much fanfare. It left Tony’s brain buzzing with the wrong sort of chemicals. He didn’t even bother taking his suit off, because he needed to feel a little bit safe right now.

Oh, and it was Loki who did it. Wasn’t that just the best news? Not the new red-head, no, a much worse version, because apparently dimensional travel and intergalactic portals were not enough for this crazy world, no, time travel had to be a thing that someone was actually capable of doing. Tony knew all the theories, all the crazy and not-so-crazy ideas on how it could be done, but experiencing it was different. It was like the thing with wormholes. You know they could exist, but it was a different matter when one opened up right above your city, pouring aliens and flying whale-monsters.

Tony was not having a good day.

‘He’s just asleep,’ Strange said sitting next to Bruce, who was still out like a light. ‘But I can only guess how long it will last.’

‘Can you undo it?’ Wanda asked him.

‘I could try, but I’d rather not risk waking him too… forcefully,’ Strange said.

Yeah, the last thing they needed was an additional mess by the Hulk. Tony was glad his tower was still standing considering the damage that was done in the last few days. They needed a new headquarters, this was not working out.

‘Are we still going after the Darkholders right now?’ Pietro asked. He calmed down since Wanda joined him, but he was still very short-tempered. Tony knew what was going on in his head, did he ever, so he gave him and Wanda space, letting them deal with all of this together. They definitely didn’t need Tony all up in their business.

‘As soon as possible,’ Barnes said. ‘This is a setback, but we’re still in the exact same situation. Hell, this just means we have one more reason to act now.’

‘Are we not going to talk about this big damn elephant?’ Clint asked. ‘We just got schooled… badly, by some crazy old future Loki, and we are still planning to help him.’

‘That is exactly the future we are trying to avoid, my friends,’ Thor spoke all of a sudden, just a few steps behind Tony.

He was a bit on edge, so no wonder he startled.

‘You are way too big to be walking this quietly,’ Tony told him. He turned to give him a glare, but he fell silent when he spotted the Leah girl next to him. Talk about things he only saw in horror movies before. He was about to open his mouth to ask what the hell happened, but he was cut off by Barnes.

‘Where’s Steve?’ he asked. ‘And Loki?’

‘My brother wished to have a word with him,’ Thor said. ‘I’m sure they will join us shortly.’

Barnes frowned, Tony frowned, even Natasha and Barton frowned… they must’ve made quite a sight, but Thor didn’t say anything else. It was quite a feat considering all the frowning that was happening at once.

‘You knew about him?’ Natasha asked. ‘You knew this could happen?’

‘No, I did not know he could reach us, but I have seen… a vision that my brother has shared with me. A terrible future.’

‘He could be playing you, you know,’ Clint pointed out.

‘As if that would make a lick of sense,’ Barnes said.

‘What happened just now is proof that what I have seen was the truth,’ Thor told them. ‘When Loki showed me this future, the old man took notice, he interrupted, shut me out… that’s how he knew.’

‘Well, I assume changing certain events significantly would erase his existence,’ Strange mused. ‘In a manner of speaking.’

‘But he’s not erased yet,’ Wanda added. ‘So nothing changed?’

‘Everything changes constantly,’ Leah spoke up. ‘There are no guarantees… and the tipping point could be very difficult to find.’

‘So this big plan against the Darkholders could blow up in our face,’ Sam said.

‘Or it could be what changes everything for the better,’ Leah said in return.

‘We can only try,’ Thor said. ‘Lady Leah is right, nothing is set in stone, but we have received a harsh warning today, so this is the time for change. No matter how powerful he is, it must’ve been difficult to travel all the way to this time.’

‘So we are close to a crossroad,’ Strange said. ‘He wouldn’t have bothered interfering so directly otherwise, right?’

‘Precisely,’ Thor nodded. ‘Loki is master in the art of subterfuge. He would’ve pulled our strings form the dark if he could’ve, but instead this happened. This is a turning point, this is a significant event. How we act, how we decide, what we believe matters maybe more than ever, I know it.’

Yeah, Thor was probably as good at random rousing speeches as Cap, and Tony had to admit, he had a point.

‘But doesn’t this land us in the whole Oedipus-problem?’ Tony asked. ‘Not the Daddy issue part, the self-fulfilling prophecy part. Things come true just because we’re trying to avoid it.’

‘But it could also be a self-defeating prophecy,’ Strange said. ‘That’s the reason something like this might be very complicated to do. Nobody has full control of the events their actions can cause.’

‘This is getting a bit too philosophical,’ Wilson said. ‘I don’t think we have time for the whole debate, folks’ been arguing about this for a _long_ time.’

‘The old man called him “Harbinger”,’ Natasha spoke. ‘What does that mean? Harbinger of what?’

Thor frowned, and glanced over to Leah. ‘I am not certain.’

Leah sighed, probably contemplating whether she should open her mouth or not.

‘Maybe it’s better if you know,’ she said then. ‘There’s a… reason for every shape you’ve seen. First there was Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard,’ she said. ‘He fell to his death from the edge of the Bifrost, torn apart by a dark rift in space.’

‘No, he--,’ Thor started to interrupt, but he fell silent as soon as the short words were out of his mouth.

‘Then there was Loki of Asgard, God of Mischief,’ Leah continued. ‘Slain by a Dark Elf on Svartalfheim.’

‘I thought it was trickery, another lie,’ Thor said darkly.

‘Sometimes the truth is more complicated than that,’ Leah told him. ‘Then came Loki Lie-Smith, the Son of Secrets. You’ve not met him, he hoarded knowledge like a hungry dragon. I found him particularly receptive to the truths I had to share. He was killed in Nornheim, while we sought answers.’

‘Are we talking actual death here?’ Tony asked, because this was getting increasingly harder to wrap his head around. How the hell was this happening?

‘Loki the Sky-Traveller,’ Leah continued. ‘A great power that demanded a great price, but he shed plenty of blood for it. James is familiar.’

‘That’s when we met,’ Barnes said. ‘He could fly too, but he looked like a dead man walking afterwards.’

‘Consumed by the very artefact that granted him new powers,’ Leah said. ‘At least he could keep what he paid for.’

‘Did my brother choose this?’ Thor asked. ‘Or is this curse your doing?’

‘A curse? Are you sure it’s not a gift?’ Leah asked in return.

‘I’d say both,’ Wanda spoke.

‘Loki of Jotunheim,’ Leah continued. ‘Laufeyson, the son of Ymir and the Endless Winter.’

‘That’s when he had blue skin,’ Natasha said.

‘Much to his anger, I assure you,’ Leah confirmed. ‘Skurge killed him.’

‘Yeah, he bled out on Steve’s couch,’ Sam added. ‘That axe nearly cut him in half. Then _she_ appeared.’

‘Lady Loki, Mistress of Strategies, a goddess of war,’ Leah said. ‘I hoped she would last longer, but Chthon’s hand reached much further than expected.’

Tony remembered all too well how that death happened. Thinking of all that blood still made him a little uncomfortable.

‘Why are you telling us all of this?’ Strange asked. ‘You were not very forthcoming with information before.’

‘Because this is not the time for you to assume the worst,’ Leah said. ‘Loki Harbinger, a creature of fire rather than ice. He’s the herald of the twilight of gods.’

‘What?’ Thor asked. ‘Ragnarok? Surely you do not mean that.’

‘It might not be the end Asgardian prophecies talk about,’ Leah said. ‘There are greater gods than your kind.’

‘Hold on,’ Clint put up a hand. ‘Are you saying that he’s some goddamn sign of the apocalypse or some shit now?’

‘Signals death and destruction to come,’ Leah said.

‘Are we really going to believe things like prophecies now?’ Tony asked. Sure, discussing changing the future and the existence of different dimensions was one thing. There were actual scientific researches behind those, everything from string-theory and mulitverse theories, to probability and the damn butterfly effect. Tony could fill a library with this stuff. Also, the scientific community kinda exploded with new theories exponentially after Thor first landed and the Chitauri attacked, those gave everyone something to spend sleepless nights over. But actual prophecies? Give him a break.

‘Doesn’t Loki always mean death and destruction anyway?’ Tony continued. ‘It does in my experience.’

‘I did not tell you this to arise more suspicion,’ Leah told them.

‘Yeah, cause the “he brings death and destruction” part was bound to work in his favour,’ Barton huffed, crossing his arms.

‘Chthon’s a god, so this could mean his death,’ Wanda said.

‘No, I’m not buying this crystal-ball nonsense,’ Tony protested.

‘Even after what you’ve seen, you cannot find it in yourself to believe?’ she turned to look at Tony.

‘I believe in what I can explain, and that just because we don’t know something, we shouldn’t scream “magic”, “prophecy”, and “gods” right away like medieval peasants.’

‘Every Loki has a different story, a different role, fate, call it what you will...’ Leah said. ‘But it was not chance that called upon these shapes. He became what he or she needed to be. So that means he needed to be Loki Harbinger now, needed the power that comes with it… so this road is coming to an end.’

‘You just don’t know what lies at the end,’ Thor added.

‘I do know. It ends in death and destruction, but I don’t know whose death, what destruction. A creature of fire, I told you, and fire is capricious. I believe in Loki, but that does not mean I am not wary of this end he will bring.’

Truth to be told, being told to be cautious did a lot to calm Tony’s nerves. If she would’ve told them to have complete trust in Loki he would’ve called bullshit. Maybe that’s why she spoke up finally, because she knew how deep their distrust ran.

‘Right, okay, maybe it’s a turning point, a big fate-changing event, but can we get back to the part where Vision is still missing?’ Tony asked, breaking the long silence that engulfed the room. They should be doing something useful instead of taking about nonsense.

‘Where would we even look?’ Wanda asked him. ‘He vanished, he was… sent somewhere?’

‘It was done very quickly,’ Strange said. ‘That makes me hopeful that he can be reached.’

‘Reached where?’ Tony asked.

‘I think I might know,’ Thor said.

‘What did you have in mind?’ Strange asked, turning his full attention to the problem at hand.

‘My brother always had these… well, let us call them “pocket spaces”. I do believe this was the same only bigger.’

‘Okay, I hope this doesn’t mean that the creepy old Loki took him,’ Tony said.

‘No, I don’t believe so. My brother should be able to reach for him, once he knows what happened.’

It didn’t sit well with Tony that they relied on Loki for help… again. This was happening over and over again and he couldn’t help but think that it was lulling them into a false sense of security. Thor was a foregone conclusion. He seemed very on-board with helping his brother back into the fold, so to speak. Tony couldn’t even blame him, he was just a little concerned maybe.

‘What about Bruce?’ Clint asked. ‘And please nobody say “Loki can fix it”, because I’m fed up with that answer. No way should we let him do anything with his head.’

‘Yeah, maybe not that,’ Tony said. ‘HELEN, what’s Rhodey’s ETA?’

Obviously he told HELEN to call Rhodey for back-up as soon as he realized what was going on. Things were settled even without his help, but Tony still told him to come… well, he probably wouldn’t have been able to talk him out of it anyway.

’Less than thirty minutes,’ the AI responded.

‘He can stay with Bruce if he doesn’t wake up anytime soon,’ Tony said. ‘Or I stay, and Rhodey takes my place on the team for this little offensive operation.’

Bruce and Rhodey got along just fine, but if Bruce woke up confused or upset well… Tony being the one to stick around Big Green sounded like the better idea.

‘If anyone needs to switch gear or equipment, you should probably do that now,’ Barnes said then. It was a reasonable suggestion, so nobody argued about it.

‘HELEN,’ Natasha called. ‘Loki and Steve?’

‘I’m sorry, Natasha, but I lost most of my cameras and microphones on that floor. I can confirm that they have not left the area, but I cannot give you any further information.’

Right, wasn’t that just awfully unfortunate, and incredibly convenient if Loki didn’t want anyone else to know what was being said. He wanted a word with Cap alone for a reason. No, it still didn’t sit right with Tony. He couldn’t even convince himself that he was just too paranoid, because there was no such thing with Loki. He was planning something, that much was glaringly obvious to everyone. Yet nobody commented on it, they all kept their thoughts to themselves.

‘I had a good feeling about this fight,’ Pietro said. ‘Now I’m not so sure.’

‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,’ Clint told him.

‘Yeah, what else am I gonna do? It’s important.’

He crossed his arms, basically wrapping them around himself a little. He was still nervous, still affected by what happened, his eyes sharp but constantly moving, not really looking at anyone. Tony wanted to tell him to sit this one out, but the way he glanced over at Wanda… if she wanted to come, Pietro would come too, there was no way around it. He would just go out of his mind with worry if Wanda left him behind, so that was not gonna happen.

‘The Darkholders are a much smaller threat than he is,’ Leah spoke up quietly. She sat down by the wall a little further away from everyone, her chest… how the hell did she get that damned wooden chest in here? It was just sitting there right next to her, like it was there all along. Tony hated magic and everything it stood for.

‘Yes, they are still human,’ Wanda said. ‘We can still take them down. Isn’t that the smart way to go? Deal with what we can as soon as we can, and just be prepared for whatever comes in the future?’

‘It kind of feels like it’s the only way to go,’ Natasha said as she stood up from the chair she was sitting on. ‘And I do need to pick up a few things from my floor now if we’re in such a hurry.’

‘I do have a bunch of your guns stored on this level, you know,’ Tony reminded him.

‘I’m going to pick up something with a bigger punch,’ Natasha told him. Tony decided that it was wise not to ask what weapons she stored on her floor that Tony didn’t know about.

The stairway door opened as she headed towards the elevator and in walked Cap with Loki on his heel. He immediately stopped as he entered, while Loki side-stepped him and kept walking

‘You okay?’ Steve asked Natasha.

‘Might pop in a pain-killer, but I’m good,’ she said. Steve nodded, not questioning her judgement. Nobody ever did. If she said she was fine, she was fine. She really didn’t like to be argued with about this. It was only ever Barton who made comments sometimes.

Steve walked further in, looking at everyone, probably trying to gauge if anyone was seriously injured or not.

‘How’s the head-wound, Doctor Strange?’ he asked.

‘No concussion, as far as I can tell, so I should be okay. Thank you for your concern.’

‘So, care to share what your little meeting was about?’ Tony asked. Probably everyone was wondering, but he was the nosy one, so he got to ask the question first. Natasha was still waiting by the elevator.

‘We made a few things clear,’ Steve said with an almost stern tone, he was even doing the squared jaw thing.

His answer made Loki huff and look back at him. Steve raised his eyebrows, and Loki shrugged. Right, not weird at all.

‘You might want to change, Captain,’ Loki said, apropos of nothing. ‘You appear to be quite… flammable.’

‘There’s no sneaking around either if you stink of liquor,’ Barned added.

Right, the bar, that explained it.

‘Don’t I know it,’ Steve said scratching at his neck, then pulling his hand away with a slightly disgusted face. ‘Give me 15 minutes,’ he said, turning back around to hurry over to the still open elevator door.

Natasha helpfully kept it open for him. She was probably waiting for him to begin with. Maybe she had some more questions about Steve’s odd meeting with Loki. Tony was tempted to eavesdrop, but he didn’t. There was a time and place for that, this was definitely not it.

‘Right, Vision next, then let’s get this fucking thing on the road,’ Tony said. ‘I am tired of standing around waiting to be kicked in the ass again.’

Everything’s been looming over their heads for far too long and it seemed the longer they did nothing the worse it got. Tony had enough of it, they were going to take this in their hands and deal with it.

* * *

Loki was surprisingly agreeable when it came down to it. He mostly just looked like he couldn’t give a shit one way or another as long as it got them going. That was all fine with Tony, since it got them what they wanted.

Vision was... a little confused about the time-skip he experienced, as not even a second passed for him, which he described as a rather unique experience, since his internal clock definitely did a jump when he got back out of Loki’s pocket dimension, or whatever the hell it was. He never slept, so this was probably the first time he experienced losing time.

‘Are you serious about leaving Bruce behind?’ Clint asked him quietly, suddenly standing right next to him, causing Tony to startle again. Sneaky bastard. ‘He could be our biggest asset, you know he is.’

‘Yeah, or our downfall,’ Tony told him, although it was not easy to say it so plainly. ‘This is magic we’re talking about, unpredictable and fucking nightmare-inducing in the right hands. The Hulk is the only one none of us can take down.’

‘You think they’re gonna try to fuck with our heads?’ Clint asked.

‘It’s effective, isn’t it?’ Tony asked in return. ‘I don’t know if they’re gonna have anyone who can do it, or if Wanda and Strange can protect us from it. Thor would be a problem, sure, but the Hulk...’

‘Yeah, I get what you’re saying,’ Clint agreed. ‘So you comin’ or Rhodes?’

Neither option really appealed to Tony to be honest, he didn’t want put Rhodey in danger in any way, no matter how good he was at taking care of himself. But as many reasons as he had to be worried about Bruce’s temper, he still didn’t want to send Rhodey up against the Darkholders, not if Tony couldn’t be right there next to him.

‘I’m going,’ he decided.

‘Hey, your call,’ Clint told him. ‘I’m just tired of waiting and talking about doing this instead of actually getting it over with.’

‘Yeah, I doubt we have to wait around for long now,’ Tony said, nodding his head in Loki’s direction, because he had that weird orb filled with the black thing he pulled out of Steve in his hand now.

‘Cap’s not back yet,’ Tony reminded everyone out loud.

‘He’s on his way down,’ HELEN informed him. Well, if they were in such a hurry, HELEN could let Rhodey know what the hell was going on. He walked over to one of his benches to put his helmet back on. Once it snapped into place and his HUD flared back to life he felt more ready to throw himself into the fray. It was not a big difference, but people not being able to see his face or read what he was thinking always helped him stay calm.

‘So what awaits us?’ Wanda asked.

‘We will see when we get there,’ Loki answered plainly. ‘I am not all-knowing, I do not know where this will lead us.’

‘Great, I love deadly surprises,’ Pietro added sarcastically. Loki didn’t bother answering him.

The lift opened as Steve and Natasha returned. Cap cleaned up and put on one of his other uniforms. It was a good thing that he had like five altogether, if they counted his older ones. Tony would make fun of him for keeping his older gear around like a sentimental old man, but he actually understood how emergencies worked, and the need to keep hold of these things just in case.

He gave a nod and almost something like a smile when he spotted Vision, clearly glad that he was back, even if he was subdued about it. Of course, thinking that Steve’s steely face meant a lack of care or indifference was not a mistake Tony was going to make again. He knew him well enough, or liked to think he did, and that steely face meant he had way too many thoughts going around in his head, way too many worries buried under six feet of determination and sheer stubbornness.

‘No rifle?’ Steve asked when he looked at Barnes.

‘We might end up in close quarters, Barton can do long range,’ Barnes explained.

‘Just how I like it best,’ Clint agreed.

‘Anything else you might have for us in your magic chest?’ Sam asked, turning to Leah.

The girl seemed to consider it, looking over to Loki, who gave her an indifferent shrug.

Leah sighed and turned back around to open her chest again, searching for something.

‘I could use a new knife too,’ Barnes said.

‘Again?’ Loki turned, cocking an eyebrow.

‘It was not my fault,’ Barnes told him.

‘Here, take this one,’ Leah said, holding out a blade. It was not one of those glass-like weapons. It looked like a regular dagger, maybe a bit fancier. ‘And I actually don’t care what you do with it.’

Loki didn’t comment, he turned his attention back to the black orb, putting a hand on it for a long moment. Tony sighed, not being able to keep himself from asking.

‘So what--’

‘A second without disturbance would be delightful,’ Loki interrupted him right away.

Tony bit back his response, but it was not easy to do it. Loki kind of made him want to act like an annoying jackass a lot more than anyone else, he just wanted to snark at him. It was a very deep-seated urge.

Loki pulled a thin dark thread out of the globe, which floated in the air under his palm for a bit, then it sizzled around and quickly attached itself to a nearby wall.

‘I hope that won’t leave a stain,’ Tony remarked.

‘And what would that be?’ Strange asked, but he was looking at Leah and not what Loki was doing.

‘Precaution,’ Leah said as she shut her chest again. All right, no magical gadgets for the rest of them then. She did have something in her hand as she walked over to Strange.

Strange seemed surprised when she held out something for him, but he took it all the same.

‘What is this?’ he asked again, turning the small object around his hand. It looked like a piece of polished black stone.

Leah didn’t say anything, she just walked over to Wanda and handed her one too. She took it as well, eyeing the thing, turning it around in her hand.

‘Anchor,’ Leah said. ‘Chthon is between two worlds, we don’t want to end up on his side of the gate.’

‘Is that a possibility?’ Vision asked.

‘He’s powerful… and so are his followers, but we have ways to fight them and protect ourselves.’

‘Anchor to this world,’ Strange said, holding the object higher up, taking in every detail. ‘This could be the greatest protection against certain demons. Is there a way to make more?’

‘There’s always a way,’ Leah said. ‘But of course the price is not always worth paying.’

‘I don’t know how to use this,’ Wanda told her.

‘Don’t lose it,’ Leah answered. ‘If we need it, I can guide you.’

‘And if you’re not around to guide me?’

‘We shall cross that bridge when we get to it,’ Leah said. ‘There’s no practising with something like this. You only aim a weapon if you are willing to use it.’

Wanda thought about it for a second, looking down at the rock-thing, then she nodded.

‘Everyone ready to go?’ Steve asked.

‘As ready as we’re ever going to be,’ Natasha said in return. The thing that “packed a bigger punch” were her electric batons, and an extra belt with pouches on it. Tony bet she had explosives on her, maybe a few grenades. The belt was definitely heftier than her usual ones. Barton had his bow and arrows, while the twins, Vision, and Strange didn’t need any extra gear. Cap had his shield, Wilson his wings and guns, Thor his hammer, Tony his suit, and Barnes finished putting his last guns into his holsters. Yeah, they were more than ready to go.

There were a few nods to Cap from most of them, signalling that they were ready. Then almost unanimously they all turned to look at Loki. He appeared to be holding onto the thread that he pulled from the black orb, but Tony had no idea what exactly he was doing. Well, he knew they were gonna find where the Darkholders were with that thing, but Tony just didn’t know how. He could probably understand it perfectly well if someone bothered to explain it in non-hocus-pocus terms, but of course he didn’t see that happening anytime soon. Maybe if they all came out of this in one piece he could get Strange to clear a few things up for him. He was a doctor, he should be able to explain it in a way that made sense.

The thread that connected to the wall grew some tendrils… roots maybe, but Tony didn’t complain about it this time. Then the tendrils turned to cracks, which just made him sigh. They really needed a more suitable base of operations. The cracks grew wide, lighting up with colours, green, white and orange. Then a portal started to appear. It was the same sort of portal he saw Loki make before. This was it.

‘Thor, you’ll enter first,’ Loki said as the dark swirl on the wall grew bigger and bigger.

‘Why?’ Natasha questioned.

‘I do not mind,’ Thor said, stepping close to his brother.

‘Because an unpleasant surprise might await us on the other side,’ Loki answered all the same. ‘And Thor can actually take a hit, unlike most of you.’

There was an insult in there somewhere, but Tony still walked closer. If they needed some of them to be able to take a hit, just in case, then obviously he had to stick with Thor. His suit could take a hit too, thank you very much. Vision stepped up next to him to stay close to Thor.

They all lined up nicely. They knew exactly how they should position themselves. Barton stuck to the back, so did Wilson and Barnes. And then Cap walked over to them too, which was very surprising, he usually took point immediately. Wilson even turned to give him a questioning look.

‘Thor leads, I’ll cover your backs,’ Steve shrugged easily.

Leah stood next to Strange, hands clasped together in front of her.

‘You’re coming with us?’ Barnes asked, staring at the back of her head. She knew he was talking to her thought.

‘I would not be of much use to you from afar,’ she said.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Barnes frowned. It was a fair question considering her face looked literally broken.

‘James, not the time,’ she answered, dodging the question altogether. She weirded Tony out, and she was kinda hostile too, but he still didn’t want her to get killed. Of course, it was also not his place to start preaching about self-preservation.

‘HELEN,’ Tony spoke up. ‘Tell Rhodey everything, and update Bruce too when he wakes up.’

‘ _Of course_ ,’ she confirmed. ‘ _Miss Potts asked me to remind you that you promised to call her back._ ’

Tony winced.

‘First thing I’ll do when we get back,’ he said. He was being an asshole, Pepper was just worried about him, but he just couldn’t talk to her right now.

Loki’s portal-thing finally appeared, a deep darkness leading into nothing.

‘Don’t start smashing things unless you’re under attack,’ Loki warned, looking back at Thor meaningfully.

‘I will only act in self-defence, you have my word,’ Thor told him. ‘Well, at least until we decide otherwise.’

Diplomatic.

‘Just go,’ Loki said, stepping aside to let him through, keeping a hand on the edge of the dark swirling portal.

So they went. Thor lead the way and they followed him through into the unknown. But at least they went together.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait again, people. Fallout 4 and Jessica Jones happened, then the Civil War trailer!! ... lots of distractions.


	49. Chapter 49

Steve and Loki were the last to step through the portal, while everyone else was already taking in their surroundings. They were not under attack, surprisingly, it was actually eerily quiet. Bucky could hear wind and some water, dripping and streaming, something alive in this place. The place being a cave… well, that was an understatement. Bucky didn’t know caves like this existed on Earth. There was bright light coming in from far above and even plants were growing on the inside, tropical plants, moss, fungi. The air was cool around them, the chill of a deep cave, but it was humid too, making his skin a little sticky. He knew he was going to sweat like crazy under his gear.

If it weren’t for the situation they were in, Bucky might’ve called it idyllic.

‘Are we on Earth at all?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ Loki said behind him.

‘My GPS has no signal,’ Natasha announced.

‘HELEN can’t find us either,’ Stark added. ‘Something’s blocking us.’

‘It is quite something to behold,’ Vision said, looking around.

‘Let us move,’ Thor said. ‘We need to spread out, find our way, the Darkholders must be hiding nearby.’

Vision, Wilson, Stark and Wanda lifted up into the air right away. While the rest of them drew their weapons and started moving forward to explore the giant cave they found themselves in. Bucky was searching for tunnel entrances, maybe even a door or a trapdoor. He was admittedly paranoid to begin with, but the quiet made him nervous. The Darkholders must be expecting them at this point, they had to be waiting for them.

They spread out a little and Bucky was glad that Steve and Loki didn’t set out in two different directions, because it would’ve been frustrating having to choose which where to go. Following Steve always felt natural, but he still wanted to watch Loki’s back, especially since none of the Avengers would, except for Thor. Leah stayed close to them, Barton and Natasha flanked Strange as he ventured forward, while Pietro stayed with Thor.

The longer the silence stretched the more oppressive it was. Bucky was convinced it would erupt into violence any second now. It put him on edge.

With a blur of red Wanda flew past them, going higher up inside the cave, then she hit something. The moment she touched it there was flash of pale yellow, and the glow of her magic cut off. Vision dove down to catch her.

‘Wanda!’ Pietro shouted, his voice echoing loudly.

‘I’m okay!’ she yelled back. She was too far away to see her face, but Bucky was going to take her word for it.

‘There seems to be a barrier,’ Vision said, staring up. Wanda’s magic flared back up and Vision let go of her after another second passed. The first thing she did was to hurl a hex at the invisible barrier. And sure enough, the beam was absorbed by a pale yellow barrier, flashing as it consumed it.

‘That explains why we’re hidden,’ Natasha remarked.

‘And why we couldn’t find this place before,’ Leah added.

‘We probably alerted them just now,’ Loki said.

‘Then let’s say hello,’ Bucky suggested. There were no objections, so they continued their search.

The cave was ridiculously big and there were too many nooks and crannies, not to mention the plants covering the walls. It would’ve been easy to hide something behind them. But there had to be a passage or a tunnel somewhere, there had to be.

‘You smell that?’ Steve asked suddenly. Bucky took a larger breath, trying to focus on the smells in the cave. It mostly smelt damp and musty, and of course there was the smell of the plants too… then he noticed it.

‘Blood,’ he said. His arm also had a very mild metallic scent, so no wonder he didn’t notice it straight away. Loki and Steve were already searching for the source of the smell. Bucky walked in a slightly different direction to look. It had to lead them somewhere, this was the first sign of well… life. The blood had to be recent, old dried blood didn’t have the same sharp scent.

‘There,’ Leah said, pointing at the cave wall. Bucky turned to look at what she was pointing at and immediately noticed the smudged bloody handprint on the stone wall. There was also big fern with two broken leaves, a few rocks obviously displaced, too dry on one side, moss scratched off the wall in patches. The signs of a fight were all over the place, the more he looked the more he could pinpoint. Someone also tried to hide all these signs, but they must’ve cleaned up in a rush. The ground was also soaked in blood and there was no cleaning that up once the earth absorbed it this much.

Loki was already up close to the wall, probably searching for an entrance, Steve stayed just a few steps away from him, looking at the same wall. Bucky kept looking around for other things that might’ve been out of place. There was no way to tell how long ago this fight happened, but something important must’ve been close-by. If there was an entrance around here it was either magic or some really good technology that hid it.

Well, one could argue where one ended and the other began, but Bucky didn’t much care for that discussion. It if was something high-tech, it had to run on electricity, if it was magic there were completely different things to keep an eye out for. At this point Bucky was pretty good at spotting both. The barrier up top sure seemed magical, but if the Darkholders hired people like Arcade then there was no way to guess what else they might have up their sleeves.

‘We need to scan the cave more thoroughly,’ Vision said from above, he was floating just five-six feet above them. ‘I’m not even certain what we are looking for.’

‘You look for what you can, we have others to look out for the magical crap,’ Bucky told him.

‘Fair enough,’ Vision responded.

‘There, use the shield,’ Loki said, making Bucky turn his attention back to him and Steve. He wasn’t sure what they found first, but then Steve forcefully wedged the edge of his shield into a crack of some sort. It was not a straight line, but it also looked a little unnatural maybe. It was obviously something.

Once the shield was in as deep as it would go, Steve moved it, using it as a level to widen the crack. It had to be an opening. As soon as there was enough space Loki put his hands in to pull on it. It took a few moments, but Bucky didn’t get the chance to offer his help, because there was a hiss and the thing gave, and started moving on its own. Not magical then, because that definitely sounded hydraulic.

There was a beep as soon as the door was half-open. Bucky knew that beep.

‘Get down!’ he shouted. He grabbed Leah around the waist as he jumped to the side to get out of the way, and not even a second passed when bullets started flying. The heavy sound of an automatic gun spitting out led was almost deafening after the silence.

‘Get in cover!’ Stark yelled at them from above and Bucky distantly heard a few more hisses that signalled opening doors. Fuck.

‘Is that a goddamn minigun?’ Wilson yelled.

‘Sentry guns, stay down!’ Stark yelled back over the noise of gunfire.

As the other sentry guns activated there were suddenly bullets coming from everywhere. Bucky felt some dust and moss rain down on him as the bullets tore into the ground. They had to move.

‘Come on,’ he urged and stood up, practically lifting Leah back on her feet again. She didn’t need help running though. The question was where to run or hide. He didn’t know how many sentry guns they were looking at here. Suddenly the wide cave with the tall walls and the barrier up top seemed like a damn slaughterhouse. They were the fish in a really big barrel with way too many guns aimed at them. There were not many places to hide and the bullets just kept coming.

Wanda was down on the ground now, she had her red shield up, protecting herself and her brother, partially Thor, but he was probably not in that much in danger. Strange, Natasha, and Barton where out of sight. Wilson kept dodging bullets up in the air, but one of the sentries definitely locked onto him.

There was a small explosion that drew Bucky’s attention as he ran. Stark managed to shoot one of the sentry guns out from its hole, so that was one down. Hopefully he would get to all of them quickly.

Bucky and Leah reached a wall that seemed relatively secluded and well shielded from the guns, for now at least. He kept his eyes and ears sharp, because the sentry guns could easily switch targets. Hell, maybe they were not automatic at all and someone was taking shots at them.

There was another explosion as Vision took out a sentry gun. Bucky looked up at him, saw the gem on his forehead still glowing. Iron Man was locked onto a new target too by now. Thor seemed to have had enough of standing around, because with a spin of his hammer he was up in the air, Mjölnir glowing with power. He should be able to fry some of these damn things.

With two guns down Bucky finally heard the voice, shouting from somewhere in the cave. The echo and the remaining sentry guns made it hard to hear it.

‘Woe to them, for they have strayed from Me! Destruction is theirs, for they have rebelled against Me!’

‘What?’ Leah frowned.

‘He has brought back their wickedness upon them. And will destroy them in their evil; The Lord our God will destroy them! _’_

‘That’s not a Darkholder,’ Bucky commented drily, because he only had one guess. Not many people would shout Bible quotes at them like this, here of all places. Curwen, it had to be.

Doctor Strange seemed to have realised the exact same thing, or maybe he recognised Curwen’s voice.

‘Isaiah!’ he shouted. ‘We have a common enemy!’

‘You are no better than the Darkholders, Strange!’ the man answered from somewhere. Bucky bet he was hiding in one of those holes that opened up for the sentry guns. ‘You charlatan found your place among these false gods and abominations. You all should be cleansed from this world, just like the Darkholders.’

‘He seems crazier than last time,’ Bucky said.

‘Someone might’ve ignited his mind with hatred,’ Leah told him.

That made a lot of sense. Curwen was extreme, but not a maniac. He usually went after the worst of the worse, and tolerated others as necessary evil or a means to an end. He definitely didn’t sound that reasonable right now.

‘You shall not eat anything with the blood; neither shall you use magic, omens, or witchcraft!’ Curwen shouted at them again.

‘I didn’t think he would find the Darkholders before us,’ Leah said. ‘He’s been absent for so long.’

They didn’t run into him for a long while now, that was true. Sure, they still kept him on their list of “potential enemies”, but Bucky didn’t really think it would come to this. Maybe someone really did mess up his head.

Stark took down another sentry gun, a lot less bullets were flying now, so Bucky tried to figure out where Curwen might be. He turned to Leah.

‘You o--’

‘Just go, James,’ she said immediately. ‘I can actually look out for myself.’

‘Never had a doubt,’ Bucky told her. He’s never been particularly protective of her or anything, but she also seemed a lot less untouchable now than before. She still wore the marks of what the Old Man did to her. Wounds like that, even if they were not literal bloody wounds, made everyone seem more vulnerable.

He stuck close to the wall, trying to stay out of sight as much as possible, while he tried to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. He also would’ve liked to catch a glimpse of Steve, not that he was too concerned. That shield of his was one of the best things against bullets, and Steve knew how to use it.

‘Isaiah, you can still stop this!’ Strange yelled. Yeah, like that was going to work. ‘Only the Darkholders win if we fight one another!’

Curwen didn’t seem to listen at all and Bucky wondered again how badly his head was messed up.

‘But the Lord is with me as a dread warrior;’ Curwen kept speaking, nor even answering Strange. ‘Therefore my persecutors will stumble; they will not overcome me. They will be greatly shamed, for they will not succeed. Their eternal dishonour will never be forgotten.’

Bucky finally spotted Steve and Loki. They took cover not far from the first sentry gun, both of them unharmed. They were also still sticking close to one another, which was... odd, but not unwelcome. Whatever it was that they discussed beforehand they really did have an understanding now. Steve caught his eyes when Bucky moved closer, then turned his head. Bucky followed his line of sight. There was a rectangle opening a bit further up in the wall, a little bigger than the ones with the sentry guns in them. Bucky nodded back at him.

‘If you want to fight, then fight!’ Thor shouted. ‘If you think we are as vile as the Darkholders, then come and face us!’

Normally, Bucky would’ve found declarations like this useless or even counter-productive, but in this situation it could be to their advantage. Maybe all Curwen needed to stick his head out was some taunting, and Thor was good at that.

Curwen didn’t seem to react at first, but as Vision blew up the last of the sentry guns, things got real quiet and Bucky heard his voice again from above. The words were indistinguishable now, but he was still talking, quiet and rushed. Bucky eyed up the wall that lead to where Steve pointed him. Being a sniper required Bucky to get up to high places swiftly and quietly, so he had plenty of practice. With nobody shooting at them he was able to get pretty high up in no time.

He heard a soft “whoosh” and turned to see Vision levitating right behind him, but he followed Bucky’s lead instead of barging forward. Despite being relatively indestructible, he had the good sense to not act rashly. Maybe he’s always been like this, or maybe their run-in with the Old Man made him aware just how easily he could be in danger, just like everyone else.

Curwen was still mumbling something, so Bucky hoped he was not keeping his ears too peeled. He had to leap to a different spot on the wall to get higher up and that couldn’t be done quietly. Bucky still landed securely, almost at the edge of the opening.

There was a second “whoosh” and bright red light in the corner of Bucky’s eye. He didn’t even need to turn around to know it was Wanda. He pulled his handgun and ducked his head up to glance inside.

Curwen was staring at the ceiling; his arms spread wide, his skin and clothes covered in blood. Not his own blood though, not all of it, Bucky didn’t think so. There were bodies lying around him and pools of red covering the floor. Bucky spared a thought to wonder if they were Curwen’s people or Chthon’s followers. It didn’t matter either way. He pulled himself up since Curwen was not paying attention, and he walked closer quietly, gun up and ready. There were two soft steps as Wanda and Vision landed behind him. Maybe Bucky didn’t trust them completely, but their presence gave him a pretty good sense of security.

Curwen still didn’t seem to notice them, his white hair was hanging low in chunks, matted with blood, and his left eye was a bloody mess. Someone stabbed him there, or just shoved their fingers in, it had to be painful, but Curwen definitely didn’t seem to be in agony. It never meant anything good when humans didn’t act like humans.

‘I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.’ Bucky finally understood what he was saying. He was probably just quoting things still. ‘I am the sword, the Sword of the Lord.’

‘Curwen,’ Bucky called, pistol still firmly aimed at him. He would not hesitate to put a bullet between his eyes, not after his stunt with the sentry guns.

Curwen dipped his chin to lock his uninjured eye on them, then a wisp of red flared up next to Bucky and hit Curwen straight in the head. He stared at them for another long moment, then sat down in a daze, his eye not really seeing anything, just blinking at nothing. Bucky turned back to look at Wanda.

‘Seemed simpler,’ she shrugged. True.

Bucky lowered his gun and marched inside the room, stepping over some of the bodies to get to the computer in the far end. The whole room seemed like some sort of small security hub, just the sheer amount of cables on the ceiling was telling.

‘What could’ve happened here?’ Vision asked.

‘Nothing good,’ Bucky told him.

‘They all have weapons,’ Wanda said. ‘I think they turned against one another.’

‘Probably not out of their own will,’ Vision added. ‘We need to be cautious.’

‘How long is Curwen going to be out like this?’ Bucky asked. They already knew they had to be cautious, what they found here didn’t really change anything.

‘As long as I want him to,’ Wanda responded.

That was good enough, so Bucky turned his attention to the computer.

‘It’s probably time to get our comms up,’ Wanda added. ‘Just in case.’

‘I’ll let everyone know,’ Vision nodded and leaped off the edge to fly back down.

‘Do you think you can protect anyone from something like this?’ Bucky asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Wanda answered honestly. ‘Can Loki?’

‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ Bucky said.

‘I’m sure yours is much more accurate,’ she huffed. She was right in a way, but Bucky really didn’t know the extent of Loki’s powers, especially since things kept changing and evolving constantly with every death.

‘The comms are up,’ Wanda told him not even a minute later. Bucky stared at the computer screen without responding. He wondered how long this place has been around, it had to be years at least, maybe much longer. Maybe other Darkholders used it before and it’s been passed on to new ones. From what he could tell everything here was an odd mixture of ancient and modern. There were sentry guns and pitfalls, heavy mechanical doors and reinforced hydraulic ones, so not everything could be reached from afar. Plus whatever powers the Darkholders had, all the weapons and artefacts they might have gathered... demons maybe. No wonder Curwen and his people were taken down in the entry hall.

‘Barnes, comms,’ Wanda repeated. Bucky reached down to his belt and fished the thing out of one of his pouches.

‘You all copy?’ he asked once it was safely in his ear.

‘ _James, tell us what you found_ ,’ Loki said almost right away.

‘No more sentries, but those were the least of our problems anyway,’ he said.

‘ _What of Curwen?_ ’ Strange asked.

‘He’s not going to cause trouble,’ Wanda told him. ‘Do you want to ask him any questions or should he go to sleep?’

‘ _I think we have a few questions_ ,’ Steve said. ‘ _We better find out what we’re up against while we have a moment to breathe_.’

‘I’ll take him down,’ Bucky told them. ‘There’s no way further in from up here.’

Bucky assumed Curwen and co retreated here before they went nuts, maybe they were under attack and thought this was a way further inside. Well, they managed to activate the sentry guns, but not much else. Or maybe Steve and Loki triggered those when they opened up that door, it was hard to tell from the current status report, cause all the guns were shot to hell now. This was a handy guard position, but limited, so once Bucky had all relevant information from the computer there was no point staying in here. He pulled his gun and put a bullet in the screen, one in the keyboard and two in the panel next to it, just in case.

‘What are you shooting at?’ Pietro asked, sounding worried.

‘Just some computer, relax,’ Wanda told him. ‘Not a fan of technology?’ she looked at him, smiling.

Bucky didn’t comment, he just walked back to her and Curwen and grabbed him by his clothes, pulling him back to his feet. All black, still looking like a priest, what a joke, no real priest had this much blood on their hands.

‘Okay, lead the way then,’ Wanda said with a sigh.

Bucky pulled Curwen along as he walked back to the edge of the small room, trying to avoid stepping on the bodies. Wanda seemed to handle the blood and gore fairly well, but maybe she just had a really good poker face, or she was good at compartmentalising. Vision was already hovering outside in the air, waiting for them.

‘I could take him down, it might be quicker for you.’

Bucky had no reason to argue, so he just shoved Curwen forward. The priest was pliant, not reacting to the treatment. Vision grabbed him around his chest and descended. Bucky gestured for Wanda to fly out.

‘ _That’s an awful lot of blood_ ,’ Wilson commented through the comm.

‘ _There was an awful lot of blood up there_ ,’ Vision answered simply.

Bucky took one look at the bloody room and the pile of corpses, then dropped down from the room. It was not that high up, he could easily land on his feet without trouble. His ears popped and his stomach made a strange little drop mid-air. The altitude changed inexplicably and his body was reacting to it, his eyes went blurry for a second as he landed... on pale yellow grass.

He straightened up looking around, muscles tense and his gun up. He didn’t even really expect to see Steve, Loki or any of the Avengers anymore, so he wasn’t that surprised when he confirmed that he was alone. The sky was purple and orange, the wind on his face dry and warm. It was quiet, no bugs in the grass, no birds in the sky. He would have seriously considered that he was hallucinating, but he knew wouldn’t be that lucky.

‘I don’t suppose anyone can hear me,’ he said, just to try it out, but of course there was no answer in his ear.

Then there was a noise in the distance, a familiar snarling that meant nothing good for him. He couldn’t see anything appraoching, but there were a few slopes and hills not that far away so he couldn’t see that far, even if the land was barren otherwise. Sill, it was probably a good idea to start moving in the opposite direction and see where that led him. He only took one step forward when a flash of light blinded him for a moment. He put his metal arm up to protect his face reflexively.

He couldn’t feel any pain, nothing burnt or cut his skin, there was no pressure or other damage, so he opened his eyes again. His arm was glowing with Gaea’s colourful symbols, from red to violet, pulsing with power. The colour spread out on the metal seeping into the plates from the symbols, like they were dissolving a little.

‘My sister really does protect you.’

Yelena’s voice touched distant memories in his mind, the echoes of the past they shared, but the deep rumble underneath it was all Chthon and there was nothing familiar about it. He turned to stare at him. The clothes looked nondescript and combat ready, definitely something Yelena picked out for herself before all of this happened. Chthon probably didn’t care about appearances enough to change them.

Bucky didn’t lift his gun, because there was no point, not against Chthon. He wasn’t dead yet either, which made him a little suspicious.

‘Oh, you are trying to figure me out,’ Chthon said then, eyeing him strangely.

He heard the snarling from far away again, but it seemed a little closer now... maybe not, sound seemed to travel a little strangely here, maybe it was the emptiness.

‘Don’t worry, they won’t come, not until I want them to.’

Bucky just stared, not saying anything.

‘Gaea made sure I couldn’t touch you personally, but I don’t really need to, do I?’

Yeah, not when he could make demons do it for him. So again, why was Bucky still alive? He could only think of one logical explanation.

‘Bait, huh?’ he asked.

Chthon smiled and the expression looked foreign on Yelena’s face.

‘I’m not quite that predictable,’ he said. ‘My followers are more than prepared to deal with your allies. They won’t interrupt.’

‘So what?’ Bucky asked, voice as neutral as he could make it.

Chthon didn’t say anything, but Bucky did catch him glancing at his arm, still alight with Gaea’s magic. Bucky heard the thuds of feet, heavy clawed feet, running towards them. The sound made his skin crawl and his muscles tense, he couldn’t help it. He was all too aware of his chances on his own. The sky turned more purple and blue now, less orange, but somehow it was still as bright as before.

Chthon was doing something, Bucky could feel it in his gut, but he couldn’t tell what it was exactly. The demon walked closer after a long moment of silence, and Bucky took a step back, but it was pointless. He was in the middle of nowhere, definitely not on Earth anymore, and the only reason he didn’t have N’Garai chasing him across these fields was that Chthon didn’t order them to attack him yet. Not yet, because he had something else in store. Bucky couldn’t figure out what it was, so he didn’t know how to fight it.

‘I should thank the Trickster for bringing you this close,’ Chthon said. ‘And I will, once you’ve taken me home.’

Bucky looked down at his bionic arm, Gaea’s magic still bright and warm, protecting him. He wondered what would happen if he touched Loki’s rune. Would Chthon give him the chance to do it? Would Loki be able to tell where he was, and come to him like always? He had no idea, but he didn’t have much to lose. He took another step back and pulled his glove off. Chthon didn’t follow him, but there was a snarl right behind Bucky, a clear signal to stop moving.

He still touched the rune, let if flare to life, glowing golden. It was almost impossible to tell it apart from Gaea’s symbols, it was just one more glowing spot, a slightly different colour. If nothing else, Loki would know that he was alive for now.

Chthon probably noticed what he did, but he didn’t seem to care. He took another step closer and Bucky stepped back, the snarl from behind him was much louder this time and it was joined by another... then another.

‘I only need you alive, not unharmed,’ Chthon said. ‘So I would be careful about my decisions if I were you.’

Bucky scoffed. ‘Really? “Easy way or the hard way”? Not the first time I hear that one.’

‘I’ll remind you later that I have given you a choice,’ Chthon said.

‘Screw you,’ Bucky answered simply. The N’Garai closest to him growled threateningly and Bucky turned, aimed, and pulled the trigger. The sound seemed to shatter some of the unnatural stillness that surrounded them. His guns were average, but his bullets were not. The odds were not in his favour at all, but his other option was to just bend over and give up, let Chthon do whatever he wanted. Fuck that.

No matter what Chthon planned to do, he was not gonna get anything from Bucky. No, his demons would have to take him down first, and Bucky planned to kill as many of them as he could before that happened. No matter who had him in their hands before, they always had to drag him kicking and shouting, they had to beat him down until he couldn’t get up anymore. He never went down without a fight. He didn’t plan to start now.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry about the cliffhanger, I really am.


	50. Chapter 50

The priest didn’t look like much of a threat right now, but Natasha knew better than to make her assessment too quickly. He was also under Wanda’s spell, which made him placid and quiet. It was handy that Wanda had powers like this, but it still sent an uneasy feeling down Natasha’s spine to witness it. It was her natural cautiousness that didn’t allow her to be comfortable with it.

She watched Wanda hop down from the room inside the cave wall, but then Strange sucked in a harsh breath, making everyone turn to look at him.

‘Doctor, are you all right?’ Thor asked him.

‘Something...’ Strange said, his hand tightly clenched around the medallion around his neck.

Wanda made a noise, so Natasha turned to look at her as she landed softly next to them. Her eyes were a little too wide.

‘Wanda?’ Pietro called her name right away.

‘What was that?’ she asked, staring at Strange.

‘A presence just swept over us,’ Leah said with a dark frown. ‘What has it done?’

‘Does anyone feel any different?’ Natasha asked. They all looked at one another in silence, waiting for someone to speak up. Natasha took stock of her body and her mind as best as she could. She felt the same, both physically and mentally, as far as she could tell, but that didn’t reassure her just yet.

‘James,’ Loki said then, turning back around to stare up at the room’s entrance. ‘What are you still doing up there?’

There was a beat of silence... and no answer.

‘Bucky,’ Steve called this time. ‘Can you hear me?’

Wanda turned to look back up too. ‘He was right behind me,’ she said.

Steve and Loki looked at one another, then both marched towards the cave wall. Tony lifted back into the air and flew closer to the room, getting there faster than the two of them on foot.

‘ _No sign of him_ ,’ he reported. His words made Loki stop, and Steve went still as well after a few more steps.

‘So we know what the presence was,’ Wanda concluded.

‘Why him?’ Vision asked. ‘And how?’

‘He’s Gaea’s chosen,’ Strange said. ‘He’s important.’

‘I thought all that magic in his arm protected him,’ Pietro mused.

‘It wasn’t Chthon,’ Leah told them. ‘Maybe one of the Darkholders... maybe a demon ally.’

Natasha stared at Steve’s back, waiting for his reaction. This was bad, he could never keep his head cool when Barnes was at stake. And this was the last thing they needed right now. Natasha was already trying to come up with the best way to do some damage control.

Steve turned back around and looked at Loki. Natasha couldn’t see Loki’s expression, but Steve’s face looked hard and ice cold. She wasn’t sure she ever saw an expression like this on his face. Anger and determination, or righteous fury, yes, but this looked different. Maybe Loki said something, maybe they just exchanged a look, but then Steve started marching back towards them.

‘Remove that spell from him,’ he ordered, staring down at Isaiah Curwen. Wanda shot a quick glance around, but then moved her hand to comply. The red mist vanished from Curwen’s gaze within a second. He blinked a few times, his mind clearing, then slowly looked up. He noticed Steve first, since he was standing right in front of the priest.

‘What happened here?’ Steve asked. ‘Who were you fighting?’

‘He might not be lucid yet,’ Doctor Strange pointed out.

Curwen’s one good eye narrowed as he looked at Steve, then he blinked a few times again, his eyelid heavy.

‘The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid--’

‘Shut up!’ Steve cut him off. ‘This is not just DeGuzman, Grahl, and Hubris... who did they summon?’

Curwen was silent, he just kept staring at Steve.

‘Maybe he doesn’t know,’ Pietro offered.

‘He knows more than what he’s telling us,’ Steve said in return, his blue eyes sharp and dangerous.

Curwen still just stared for another moment, then he moved his hand, too quickly for it to be an innocent movement. Steve was much faster than him and stepped on his forearm, pushing the kneeling man down to the ground. Curwen didn’t fight him, he dropped the thing he went for. Natasha couldn’t see what it was exactly, but she was certain she would have the chance to take a closer look at it in a moment. Curwen laid back on the ground, all fight going out of him as Steve kept him trapped with a foot on his arm.

‘Start talking,’ Cap said.

Natasha was familiar with Steve’s quiet fury, but the threat in his voice seemed even sharper than usual. She really hoped Barnes was alive.

‘Is this all what humanity has left?’ Curwen asked, basically spitting words at them through his bloody lips. ‘Monsters, harlots, false idols...’

Oh, back to name-calling then. They were not getting anywhere with this guy.

‘We’re wasting our time, or he’s stalling us,’ she spoke up. ‘We need to keep looking for an entrance.’

‘This is the entrance,’ Curwen said. ‘You fools... it’s a trap. You will all die here, just like we all died.’

‘You survived,’ Wanda told him. ‘How? What happened?’

‘I didn’t survive... they let me live,’ he said. His voice trembled now, whatever prevented him from feeling all the pain he must’ve been in was obviously gone. His body started shaking, his breathing picked up.

‘He’s going to go into shock,’ Strange told them, taking a step closer.

‘They let me live to give you a welcome,’ Curwen added. Then he reached up and tore open his black coat and shirt with a bloody hand. Natasha saw swirling symbols on Curwen’s chest and a sickly yellow light, similar to the barrier above them. It was pulsing like there was something moving underneath his skin. All of her alarm bells started ringing.

‘Go forth, O Christian soul, from this world,’ Curwen started to recite. His voice coming in short gasps. ‘In the name of God the Father Almighty who created thee...’

‘Run!’ Steve shouted suddenly and nobody questioned it, they ran, as far away from Curwen as they could, as quickly as they could.

Natasha still heard Curwen’s voice for another few moments as she ran, Clint right beside her. She knew this prayer, she heard it before, voices wet with tears murmuring it over dead loved ones, their corpses not even cold. It was a prayer for a departing soul... she wondered if Steve recognised it too, and that’s why he knew what was about to happen.

She expected light or even heat, but it was more an explosion of harsh sound that silenced Curwen’s prayer. An unpleasant wind swept past them, like a hand touching her bones through her flesh. She saw all the greens in the cave wither away and turn to dust, all signs of life snuffed out from existence. Then they were falling.

She didn’t see how the ground vanished from underneath them, because one second she was running, the next she was plummeting down into unknown darkness. She turned and twisted in the air to catch sight of something to grab and hold onto, but the cave wall was too far away. She wouldn’t survive a fall like this, she knew. There were twelve of them, and only five of them could fly... she didn’t know if everyone could be caught in time. If Tony was quick enough...

Someone grabbed her around her middle the next moment and she abruptly stopped falling.

‘Are you all right?’ Strange asked.

Natasha turned to grab him around the shoulders, putting herself in a more comfortable position. Strange had a red cape, which made her frown, because she wasn’t sure if he was wearing it before... it was an odd feeling. A red cape would be something easy to remember. Magic had to be at play.

‘So you can fly,’ she said instead. ‘Where did the cape come from?’ She was more and more certain that the cape was not on Strange before, she still had a weird feeling looking at it.

‘Levitate,’ Strange said. ‘And it’s not a very reliable skill at the moment.’

Natasha looked down at the darkness below, then lifted an eyebrow at Strange.

‘The cloak and I are still getting used to one another. Mostly it’s only willing to obey me when I’m in lethal danger. And it’s always been here... it would take some time to explain how that works.’

‘You’re joking,’ Natasha said, looking at the cape... cloak with the high collar.

‘Magical objects as old as this often start to have a mind of their own,’ Strange told her.

This was not the time to ask more questions about it, so Natasha just looked around instead. Along with Strange that made six of them that could fly. They should be all fine.

Tony flew down to them first, he had Clint, who already climbed over to his back, holding on. He gave Natasha an “ok” sign and Natasha gave him a thumbs-up in return. Thor went for Loki, unsurprisingly, holding onto his brother with one arm, while the hammer spun around in the other, keeping them in the air. Sam caught the Leah girl and he was still holding her in his arms, circling a little above them. Vision caught Steve, while Wanda and Pietro were holding onto one another, her magic keeping them both from falling. Okay, they were okay... floating above some endless dark pit.

‘Is everyone unharmed?’ asked Vision.

‘Looks like it,’ Wanda answered, then she exchanged some quiet words with her brother in Sokovian. Pietro just nodded tensely, his lips thin. He must’ve felt a little powerless, not having anyone to fight.

‘So, where to?’ Tony asked.

‘How does it look like up there?’ Natasha asked.

‘The only place we could actually stand on our feet would be that security room,’ Vision said as he flew further down to be closer to them.

‘So the only way to go is down?’ Clint asked them, eyeing the darkness dubiously.

‘The barrier is still up there, we can’t go up,’ Wanda said.

‘Curwen?’ Natasha asked, just to make sure.

‘In pieces,’ Loki said, sounding a little mad about it. He probably wanted more information out of the priest.

‘Was he like... magically rigged to blow or something?’ Tony asked, and although Natasha couldn’t see his face, she could picture the horrified tilt of his lips and the shock in his brown eyes.

‘It’s the Darkholders,’ Steve said. ‘We can expect even worse.’

‘Aye, I’m afraid that’s probably true,’ Thor nodded. ‘There’s only one way to go, so we need to go. Even if they are leading us.’

It was a trap, they all knew it, even Curwen told them as much, but there was no other way to go. She wished Barnes didn’t destroy the computer up there, she really wanted to know what information he got out of it, but again, there was no point being angry about things they couldn’t change.

‘Ready, Doctor?’ she asked Strange.

‘I need you to hold on,’ Strange said in return. ‘I will need both of my hands if we are attacked.’

‘Not a problem,’ Natasha said. She could easily wrap her legs around his waist and it even freed up one of her arms. It was not the most dignified position, but she didn’t think climbing over to Strange’s back was an option, since the cloak kept them in the air. At least Strange didn’t seem to have the urge to make jokes or awkward comments about it as he started descending. Natasha could get used to working with him.

It got darker as they went further down, but Tony turned on some lights on his suit and Wanda’s magic was bright enough too, so they could at least see a little. An unpleasant feeling curled up in her stomach the further down they went. She had the very distinct feeling that somebody was watching them, and considering they were walking into a trap, she was most likely right. This was not the first time they did something reckless like this, but for some reason this felt wrong on a whole new level.

She heard a scratch, and another.

‘Something’s on the wall,’ she said quietly, pulling a gun and only leaving one of her arms around Strange’s neck. It was too dark to see any movement, but she heard the noise again, something scratching on the wall… climbing?

The tense silence stretched out for a long moment.

‘Oh, please don’t be N’Garai,’ she found herself saying quietly. Then a screech came from their right. Natasha aimed and shot automatically, while Strange lifted a hand, a golden disk appearing in front of his hand, spinning slowly. The thing that screeched at them was much smaller than a N’Garai and it bounced off the mandala-thing Strange put up as protection. It’s skin sizzled from the impact. Natasha shot at it again while it was dazed and the thing snarled and screeched at her, black blood spurting everywhere. Then it dropped down like a rock. It was definitely not bulletproof.

‘What was that?’ Sam shouted down.

‘It had wings,’ Natasha said.

‘Oh, shit,’ Tony cursed, his helmet and sensors probably picking up a lot more in the darkness than their eyes, and a moment later Natasha could hear the flapping of wings as the creatures let go of the cave walls below them and launched into the air.

‘They’re coming!’ Strange yelled out a final warning before the swarm reached them.

Some of the flying things – demons – were dog-sized, some bigger, and there were too many to count. Natasha just aimed and shot at whatever she could, while trying to avoid claws and teeth. Strange’s magic was burning brightly around him, he threw up a few more of those spinning mandalas as protection, then his hands lit up with magic again. The colour reminded Natasha of fire, but the energy crackled and sizzled like lightning.

Everyone else was fighting around them. Thor’s lightning flashed as the wind picked around them, the energy bright and loud as it burnt the demons, Natasha could almost taste electricity on her tongue. The sound of Tony’s repulsors echoed all around them, just like the screeches of the demons he hit. Clint’s arrows sizzled through the air, never missing their target despite the darkness, and Wilson managed to pull out one of his guns, shooting at the things as they got too close to him. Vision’s beam flared up in golden bursts as he took demons down, and when Wanda’s hexes went flying, they painted everything else bright crimson. It was chaos in the most literal sense of the word.

The demons were fast and half of the team couldn’t even aim or attack them properly. They simply couldn’t continue this fight in the air, they were at a serious disadvantage. She was sure everyone realised that within minutes.

‘We need to reach the ground!’ Wilson shouted as he sped by them, diving deep down into the darkness, half a dozen demons on his heels. Tony followed immediately, then Thor.

‘I can’t move that quickly in the air’ Strange told her. ‘We need to fall, then stop before we reach the ground.’

Natasha reloaded quickly, letting the empty clip fall down into the darkness.

‘You just told me the cloak is not reliable,’ she said.

‘That’s the only way I can get down that quickly, but if you want to catch a ride with someone else…’

Natasha eyed the swarm above them, the demons turning back around, fighting their way through Wanda’s barrier, while Vision kept shooting them down with his energy beam. They needed to get further down, and quickly.

‘Do it,’ Natasha instructed, moving her arms to shoot at the incoming demons over Strange’s shoulder. Natasha was almost impressed that Strange didn’t flinch at loud gunshots almost right next to his ear.

He also didn’t ask if she was sure. There was a gush of soft air as the cloak stopped moving, then it was free fall. Since she could no longer shoot at anything she just grabbed hold of Strange firmly. The sound of the demons quickly became distant as they plunged down into the nothingness. They were falling for a ridiculously long time. She almost started to worry when she felt that same warm displacement of air, a crackle of something intangible in the air, as magic wrapped around them again, stopping their fall. Stopping was a little unpleasant on her stomach, but she was fine.

Strange exhaled slowly, his shoulders dropping a little. Natasha looked around, she could actually see some light in the distance down here. Clint, Sam, Leah, Thor and Loki all stood slightly below them. Stark was still up in the air.

‘That looked risky,’ Tony commented.

‘It wasn’t so bad,’ Natasha said as she unwrapped her legs from around Strange, she even patted him on the shoulder before dropping down to the ground below.

‘We’re not done yet,’ Thor reminded them as Wanda’s red magic came closer and closer, the swarm of demons following her and Vision closely. Loki had his sword in his hand too, the orange glow a lot dimmer than it was when he first held it in his hand. Natasha filed away that observation, and focused her attention back on the situation at hand.

‘I’d rather not risk running from them,’ she said. ‘We don’t know what’s down here.’

‘I hate not having options,’ Clint answered, a new arrow already aimed and ready to fly.

‘We can take them,’ Tony said confidently, and he was probably right. They were both skilled and very well armed, nobody could seriously think that these things would stop them. As she pulled the trigger again, she thought of Barnes and wondered, were they being stalled?

It seemed more and more likely.

Steve and Pietro dropped down as soon as Wanda and Vision were close enough to the ground, but they couldn’t do much for now, so they just waited for the demons to descend upon them. Wanda and Vision did a good job of turning most of them to crisps. They were frighteningly effective together. They moved in synch and watched each other’s back, while they unleashed an incredible amount of power on their enemies.

Wanda always seemed more unrestrained when Vision was by her side, maybe because it was almost impossible to harm him accidentally, and that gave her the freedom to use as much force as she never allowed herself otherwise. Wanda’s been growing stronger and stronger, but Natasha had a feeling that she had yet to reach her full potential. It was hard to comprehend how much power was still hiding under the surface.

Strange turned and levitated closer to Wanda and Vision, his glowing mandalas appearing around him like shields, while light burnt in his hands. It was not the flame-coloured lightning from before, but a bright burning yellow Natasha couldn’t keep hey eyes on for long. Soon it was bright as daylight in the cave.

‘Out of the way!’ Strange shouted, a clear warning for Wanda and Vision. Then the energy grew stronger. Natasha had to shield her eyes as heat touched her face, like bright summer light. The demons screeched and the smell of burnt flesh filled the cave. There was a lingering scent before, but now the heavy stench filled the air completely as small bodies dropped to the ground all around them. It was mostly just ash that rained down on their heads, so she didn’t have to worry about getting out of the way. She kept her breathing even as the smell filled her nose, her head even, bringing memories to the surface. She pushed them all aside, this was not the time.

She opened her eyes as the burning light subdued. Wanda, Vision and Strange were still up in the air as the light slowly dimmed. Natasha caught the sight of seven glowing orbs before they vanished.

‘Okay... wow,’ Clint commented. Clearly they should’ve asked more questions about how powerful Strange actually was. That “Sorcerer Supreme” thing also started to sound a lot less like a cheesy exaggeration. No wonder Loki and Barnes wanted him here, on their side, to fight the Darkholders. It seemed odd before, why they went out of their way to help Sara Wolfe just for Strange’s benefit, but it made sense now.

‘So... how many flashlights do we have?’ Sam asked after a moment of silence as Wanda, Vision, and Strange finally landed. Tony dropped down to the ground next to them too, his suit emitting a fair amount of light.

A glowing red light appeared in Wanda’s hand, making a bit more light, while Vision let the gem in his forehead glow a little too.

‘Wonderful idea,’ Strange said, making a few gestures with his hands and fingers that looked both very specific and well-practised, lights flew up from his fingertips, flickering blue flames that spread out above them.

‘I bet you’re a blast on parties,’ Clint commented.

‘This way,’ Steve said, pointing towards a large tunnel of sorts not that far away from them, barely visible even still. His voice was still grim, his face hard as stone.

Loki and Leah were the first to move, but the rest of them followed after too. There was nowhere to go but forward and Natasha understood Steve’s drive, his need to keep moving, keep searching. She knew him well enough, knew his story well enough, to be certain that nothing could stop him from going after Barnes. And if they were too late, for any reason, this place would burn. There were very few certainties in life, especially in this life they all had, but this, Steve’s boundless, ruthless devotion, it might as well had been the north pole.

Steve took a few slower steps, and the small change in his pace meant that Loki caught up to him. After a moment Steve glanced at him, which made Loki close the distance between them. Steve said something, way too quietly to be heard, and he was looking straight ahead, so there was no way to read his lips. Loki gave a nod, then slowed his steps down just a bit, moving further to the side, putting some distance between them. Natasha still didn’t know how she felt about this... _understanding_ between them, but she put it back into the back of her mind. They were marching towards a threat none of them really knew how to fight, so these were desperate times, in a way. If this – whatever this was – helped prevent Loki from stabbing them in the back, it was good enough for now. Steve did have a certain effect on people, maybe that was the simple explanation.

The tunnel was relatively well lit with Strange’s blue flames flying above them and the extra light they got from Tony and Wanda, but getting rid of some of the darkness didn’t put her at ease. They were still walking into a trap… or more like a series to traps.

‘Wait,’ Tony called out. ‘The ground is changing up ahead, there’s something under it.’

‘How close?’ Steve asked.

‘Exactly 9.3 feet in front of you.’

Steve started walking again.

‘Maybe Loki or I should take a closer look first,’ Strange said immediately. ‘It might be magical in nature.’

‘We’ll see,’ Steve said, taking another steps forward, pulling the shield from his back. Loki walked after him after another second, probably agreeing with Strange.

Steve stopped, staring down at the ground in front of him, but the stone probably didn’t look any different. He crouched down as Loki stopped next to him.

‘Careful,’ Sam warned. ‘Maybe one of us could fly above the ground.’

‘Not everything needs to be touched to be triggered,’ Loki said.

‘Okay, so what now?’ Pietro asked. ‘Can we throw a rock or something… would that help?’

That sounded like a very simple and straightforward solution. It could actually work. But Steve ignored the suggestion and put his shield down on the ground on front of him, slowly sliding it forward.

‘You sure you know what you’re doing there, Cap?’ Tony asked warily.

‘Considering what this shield is made out of... yes,’ Steve answered, he slid the shield a little to the side, like he was search for something, or just testing out the ground whether it was safe to step on it.

There was a flash of blue right under the shield then, and Steve had to lean forward to keep the shield pinned to the ground. The blue light shimmered under the metal for a moment, like it was trying to break free, then it slid back into the ground... there was a beat of silence, then blue lights flared to life and died out at the same time in the stone in front of them. Like a series of light bulbs flashing up only to explode into sparks.

Steve gave Loki a look.

‘Yes, that should do it,’ Loki decided.

Natasha was confused, and she was not alone.

‘How on Earth...’ Sam started to say with a voice full of disbelief, but some dust fell on his head and it silenced him abruptly. They all turned to stare up as one, just as the stones started shifting above them.

‘We need to move,’ Natasha said.

‘Which way?’ Pietro shouted. It was a valid question, but they didn’t have time to discuss it. The stone ceiling started to move... there was a hydraulic hiss that told Natasha it was not an accident, someone was dropping this down on them, and then she had to leap to get out of the way. She hoped she would be able to get far enough. The stone that dropped down was like a giant cube, blocking the entire passage. She looked around in the blue light as the dust settled.

Clint was right next to her, staring at giant rock that almost crushed them. Strange was on the ground too, he probably had to throw himself to the side to get out of the way. Pietro was standing at the stone, looking at it nervously, calling Wanda’s name and shouting furiously in Sokovian. Natasha caught a few words from his angry rant, it seemed like Wanda might’ve pushed him out of the way with her magic. He was not really happy about it, which was understandable, since with his speed he was the least likely to get crushed by falling objects. Vision had the Leah girl in his arms, but she shoved at him as soon as she could, hurrying back to the stone that was now blocking the way.

Then she caught Wanda’s voice, a little muffled, but still audible. She was yelling back at Pietro in Sokovian. Their comms sizzled for a moment, then Tony’s voice came through.

‘ _Is everyone all right on the other side?_ ’ he asked. Wanda and Pietro both fell silent.

‘We’re all in one piece, you?’ Natasha asked in return.

‘ _Nobody’s dead_ ,’ Tony said with an annoyed tone. ‘ _Although, I’m tempted to change that._ ’

‘ _You’re welcome_ ,’ Loki said dryly, sounding more exasperated than anything. Natasha was not used to hearing him talk like this.

‘ _So, can we blow this wall up?_ ’ Sam asked.

Natasha got up to walk back to the stone blocking the way. There was a moment of silence as everyone waited for Tony’s reply. He was the best equipped and qualified to judge how likely that was to work.

‘ _If I could tell what’s above us_ ,’ he said finally, and Natasha already knew the answer was no.

‘Strange?’ she asked, turning to the sorcerer. He was already staring at the obstacle in their way.

‘I’ll have to think about it,’ he said.

There was another beat of silence before Loki spoke again.

‘ _We need to keep moving,_ ’ he said.

Natasha wanted to be annoyed that not everyone dodged in the same direction, but maybe only some of them being stuck on this side was better than all of them.

‘Vision, you should get over to the other side,’ she said.

‘What if you are ambushed?’ he asked in return.

‘We’ll be fine,’ Natasha said without hesitation. They had Strange, and he already showed them that he had a lot of power at his fingertips.

‘ _I’m not really comfortable with all of this,_ ’ Tony said.

‘We don’t know how long it will take to get through here, Tony’ Clint said. ‘If we can even get through.’

‘ _I should stick around, see what we can come up with,_ ’ Tony said.

Natasha thought about it for one second, then imagined what would happen if they were attacked and Tony was stuck on the other side, listening to what was happening without any chance to actually help them.

‘No, keep going forward,’ she said firmly. ‘We’ll find a way through.’

Tony was not happy, but nobody was. Vision didn’t argue though, he slid through the stone wall with ease. Damn, Natasha liked this ability, but unfortunately Vision couldn’t change the density of others, so there was no way to utilise it in any other way. After a moment his voice came through the comm.

‘ _It’s solid stone_ ,’ he said. ‘ _In case you wondered._ ’

‘That is certainly good to know,’ Strange said. ‘We’ll catch up as soon as we can.’

Natasha liked the certainty in his voice.

‘Loki,’ Leah called.

‘ _Stay with Strange, we’ll meet up again later_ ,’ Loki answered.

‘I’ll know what to do, if things turn bad,’ Leah said then. ‘I hope you do too.’

The way she said that made Natasha slightly nervous. And Loki was silent for a moment too.

‘ _It won’t come to that_ ,’ he said vaguely. Leah chuckled in response.

‘How strangely optimistic of you,’ she said. Then her voice slipped back to calm and serious almost right away. ‘Now go, you wasted enough time.’

‘ _Pietro, don’t--_ ’ Wanda spoke.

‘I’m gonna be fine, don’t worry,’ Pietro cut her off, he was forcing his voice to remain calm, it was obvious to everyone.

‘ _I know you will_ ,’ Wanda responded.

‘ _You all better stay in one piece, Romanoff_ ,’ Tony warned.

‘No problem, now get lost,’ she told him, just to hear his little huff of a laugh. Normally, Steve gave her a smirk too when she said something like this, but she had a feeling there was no smile on his face right now. He was probably already marching down on that dark tunnel, not even listening to them.

‘ _Stay safe, my friends,_ ’ Thor said as a goodbye.

‘Wilson, I hope you know you’re the voice of reason over there,’ Clint commented. Natasha gave a very inelegant snort.

‘ _Don’t remind me_ ,’ Sam sighed. ‘ _Catch you guys later._ ’

She switched off her comm as she turned to Strange, because there was no point waiting for the signal to die as the others went on without them.

‘So let’s figure this out,’ she said.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! January is really busy at work for me and I did not have the energy to write. Life is very unfair.


	51. Chapter 51

Thor was convinced that the walls were alive and watching them. It was a disconcerting feeling. They only had Wanda’s magic, Tony’s armour and Sam’s small flashlight to light up the darkness around them, but the tunnel was low and narrow so at least they were not forced to walk cautiously. They were marching forward with a much faster pace than before, the urgency of the situation descending down on them once more with Steve leading them forward with such speed. Thor wanted to ask Sam and Wanda if they were all right, since he could hear how their breathing picked up from moving this fast for this long, but he did not want to insult them by implying that they were unable to keep up with the rest of them.

Traps of course they found plenty, not magical in nature, but heavy doors Tony needed override, pitfalls disguised as steady ground, and even more automatic cannons that were likely lethal to most humans, but actually caused them very little trouble. Thor wondered again if it were the Darkholders who built all these defences, or if they just took the place over from someone else, but it mattered very little in the end.

They didn’t run into any other demons, but that feeling of being watched remained with Thor, so his muscles tensed at every small noise that caught his ears.

‘I feel like this is a maze,’ Wanda said all of a sudden, as she stopped abruptly. The rest of them came to a halt and turned back around to look at her. ‘We passed this crack in the wall once already.’

Nobody asked her if she was sure, because she wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise.

‘The way we took turns doesn’t add up into a loop,’ Tony said.

‘I didn’t say it made sense,’ Wanda told him.

‘There’s more than one way to make a maze,’ Thor said. ‘I, for one, expected to run into more difficulties.’

‘Can we test it out to be 100% sure?’ Sam asked.

‘Not unless we go our separate ways,’ Loki said.

‘I would very much advise against that,’ Vision protested right away.

‘Let’s keep going,’ Steve said. ‘See if anything else seems familiar.’

That was the best course of action for now, so they once again started moving down the seemingly endless series of hallways. Thor kept a close eye on everything that seemed even a little unique, trying to memorise the things they passed, like the crack on the wall Wanda pointed out, a small hole on the far right, a piece of dried plant on the ceiling, a little pile of pebbles scattered around.

They kept walking until Steve and Loki both came to a stop again. Thor only needed to take a few more steps closer to see that both of them were staring at the distinct crack in the wall Wanda pointed out earlier.

‘Oh, good, I always wanted to be trapped in an endless loop of nightmares,’ Tony sighed.

‘This was less than a twenty minute walk,’ Sam pointed out.

‘So what now?’ Wanda asked.

‘I’d hate to be the one asking the obvious questions,’ Tony said. ‘But I don’t suppose we can bust our way out of this with brute force.’

‘I really don’t think so,’ Steve answered. ‘Things are never that easy. And I’m not sure we should try.’

‘I could try going through the wall,’ Vision said. ‘See where that leads me.’

‘It might lead you somewhere you cannot return from,’ Thor said.

‘I’m willing to take the risk,’ Vision said. ‘And even if I can’t find my way back to you, I might be able to go back and let Doctor Strange know about this.’

‘Loki, any other ideas?’ Thor asked.

Loki glanced around quickly, then shook his head.

‘Nothing just yet,’ he said. ‘We don’t know enough.’

That was the answer Thor didn’t want to hear.

‘But this is magical,’ Vision said, looking at Loki. ‘So you can try to find a way out from here, while I alert Doctor Strange, maybe he will be able to do something from the outside. I’d rather not waste time standing here.’

‘No, fine, you’re right, but watch out, we have no idea what else is lurking around here,’ Tony said.

‘I’ll be careful,’ Vision nodded.

‘If you get out and find the others,’ Wanda said. ‘Stay with them. There’s no point risking coming back.’

‘I cannot promise I won’t try if there’s no other solution in sight,’ Vision told her. She opened her mouth to reply, but then closed it again, reconsidering.

‘Just don’t be stupid,’ she said in the end.

That seemed to amuse Vision to no end.

‘I’ll try my best,’ he said, sliding into the nearest wall. They all stared at the spot where he vanished for a moment or two, then turned to look at one another.

‘So… where to?’ Tony asked.

‘Is there even a point?’ Sam asked. ‘We’re just gonna end up in the exact same spot over and over again.’

‘I don’t want to stand here waiting to be rescued,’ Wanda said, crossing her arms.

‘Let’s keep walking,’ Steve said. ‘Maybe we’ll find something if we look hard enough.’

‘All my scanners are up and running, but I’m not sure I will pick up anything,’ Tony said.

‘You never know,’ Thor told him. ‘Magic leaves marks behind. Sometimes those marks are visible to Midgardian machines as well.’

‘All right, even the smallest thing can be important then,’ Tony nodded.

Thor tried his best to keep his eyes on anything out of the ordinary as they started walking again, but magic was not one of his strengths, so he didn’t hope to achieve much. He was most likely not alone feeling useless as Sam stared at the walls with frustration too. Wanda’s eyes were a lot sharper, probably trying her best to find anything that could help, while Stark was probably scanning every inch in front of them too. Steve lifted a hand and touched the wall as he walked forward, letting his fingers slide on the hard surface. It was odd for him to do that, but maybe he just tried to keep track of the wall with more than just his eyes, holding onto reality even if it was playing tricks on them. Loki didn’t seem to be doing anything, but Thor knew magic didn’t always come with bright flashing lights, so he was sure his brother was searching for a solution in ways that was invisible to the naked eye.

If the Darkholders’ plan was to just trap them, they did a fine job of it so far, but Thor feared there was more to this. They didn’t strike him as the sort of foes who would be satisfied with merely imprisoning their enemies. And there was still this tingling at Thor’s nape... someone was watching them, he just knew it.

Steve stopped again, abruptly, turning his head to stare at the spot where his fingers touched the wall.

‘What is it Cap?’ Sam asked.

‘There’s someone here,’ he said. There was silence in the corridor, nothing but the sound of their breaths, but Thor knew exactly what he meant.

‘Aye. Someone’s watching us,’ he agreed quietly.

‘How do you know?’ Wanda asked with a frown.

‘It’s just a feeling,’ Thor said, unable to explain it in any other way.

Steve flattened his palm on the stone, still just looking at it for a moment, before he quickly pulled his hand away, taking a step back. There was a hole on the wall now, where Steve's hand was a moment before. As Tony turned and Wanda let her red magic flare brighter something moved in the tiny hole, shifted with a quiet noise, then black insects started crawling out from it and scattering all around the wall.

‘This is not good,’ Steve said, staring at the little things as they covered more and more of the wall’s surface. Was the hole getting bigger?

Then a red arm smashed through the wall, those insects crawling all over it. Wanda and Thor both reacted without hesitation, her hex and his lightning reached the spot almost at the same time, Steve quickly moving out of the way.

The thing hissed as the arm retreated back into the wall... Thor doubted they killed it.

‘Let me guess,’ Tony said. ‘Demon?’

‘We should move,’ Wanda said.

‘Where?’ Sam questioned right away. ‘There is nowhere to go, it’s a loop, we’re gonna end up right back here.’

‘So we fight,’ Loki said.

‘This is the worst place for a fight,’ Tony said and he was right. They were trapped, the corridor was low and narrow, it put them at a significant disadvantage. Thor could only hope that the demon wouldn’t turn out to be too troublesome.

The insects were still crawling all over the wall, more of them now than before. Holes appeared on the floor too, not easily spotted until the insects started pouring out of them, and not just insects, worms too. Wanda made a face and burnt all of them around her with her magic, cleaning the floor. Of course they all knew they had something much worse lurking in the walls than insects and other critters.

‘We need to watch our backs,’ Sam said.

They all turned and moved a bit to stand around in a circle, their backs to one another. Thor eyed the wall and the crawling insects as he moved to the right position, Loki to his right while Sam to his left. The noise from the walls was louder now, and Thor wondered if these creatures were able to move through stone or if there were tunnels somewhere. Although, even if there were tunnels, magic kept them trapped here, so those might not help them much at all.

‘Shit!’ Wanda cursed and her red magic flared up above them. Thor jerked his head up and saw that the creature was half through the ceiling already, clawing at the magical barrier Wanda threw up. The thing had dark compound eyes and teeth that looked dark and curved like spider-fangs. A vile stench invaded Thor’s nose.

Tony’s repulsors fired twice in quick succession.

‘There’s more than one,’ he informed them. ‘But they seem to scatter fairly easily.’

‘Not this one,’ Wanda said, her eyes locked on the thing still trying to get out of the ceiling.

One of them was crawling out of the floor, so Thor quickly stepped away from the circle to kick it in the head, then swinging his hammer as well, watching as the thing’s head splattered on the wall, leaving a white thick smear that made the smell much worse. All the insects headed towards the body right away, and even the body itself was full with nothing but wriggling worms. It’s been a while since he had to face such disgusting creatures.

Loki cut off the arm of one of them with his sword just as Thor backed off from the dead demon, the thing slipping back into the wall with a hiss. Sam shot at another one, but bullets seemed useless from the way he cursed. Thor let electricity flare up in his hand and around Mjölnir, letting the lightning free to burn the creature crawling on the floor towards them. More of them were approaching still. They were not too fast, but Thor saw more and more movement in the darkness. He feared not for his own safety, but demons were unpredictable, so they needed a better plan besides allowing these creatures to attack them endlessly.

Just as he feared, demons jumped out at them from the shadows, black fangs dripping... the sight made Thor wary. He sent Mjölnir flying, knocking two demons off their feet, hopefully killing them.

‘Beware of poison,’ he shouted, still eyeing the black fangs in the mouths of these demons, his hammer back in his hand. He did not know enough about these creatures, but he worried even Loki and Thor himself could be vulnerable.

He heard Steve’s shield making contact, knocking a demon down with force, then Tony started shooting again as well. There were now flies and locusts buzzing around, and Thor thought of sickness and decay. He hoped the smell that surrounded them was just a smell and nothing more.

‘Loki, you need to find a way out!’ he yelled.

Loki made an annoyed grunt as he stabbed his sword through one of the demons, the body dropping immediately.

Wanda tore apart two demons from afar, her eyes ablaze with power. Sam wisely stepped further into the circle to stand behind her. He put his guns away, but he was still ready to fight.

One of the demons grabbed hold of Steve’s shield and Thor only noticed when the Captain slammed the thing into the wall, pinning it down. The demon kept hissing and snapping its mouth, trying to bite him or claw him, but Steve kept it trapped well enough.

‘You cracked the wall,’ Loki told him.

Steve grabbed the demon and slammed it into the wall again, just as hard as before, and some more cracks appeared behind it. Maybe there really were some hidden tunnels.

‘Thor, hit this thing with your hammer, send it through the wall,’ Steve said.

That was a fine idea indeed. Thor readied himself for a swing and Steve expertly jumped back just before Mjölnir hit the demon in the chest, smashing it through the wall. The hammer flew much further than Thor expected, so he quickly called it back to his hand. Steve and Loki went to the hole the demon’s body made first, while Tony and Wanda kept all other demons in check, not allowing any of them to get closer.

‘Is there a tunnel?’ Thor asked, turning his back on Steve and Loki to fight any incoming beasts.

‘It’s even better than that,’ Steve said. ‘Come on, this way!’

‘If you’re gonna tell me we could’ve just used Thor’s hammer to knock a wall down all this time...’ Tony spoke, but he was swiftly cut off.

‘We don’t have time for explanations, Stark,’ Loki said. ‘Start moving!’

‘Is it safe?’ Sam asked.

‘Fine, I’ll go first,’ was Loki’s answer. Thor felt the floor shift beneath his feet, the stone was moving like soft earth, something was right below them in the ground.

‘More are coming,’ he warned.

‘Get moving, now!’ Steve shouted, almost ordered really, sounding impatient now.

‘Shit, fine,’ Sam said, running to get through the hole.

‘Tony, you next,’ Steve said.

‘There’s an awful lot of them here,’ Tony shook his head.

‘Wanda’s barrier will be more than enough,’ Steve said. ‘But there might be demons on the other side too.’

He was right, Wanda was strong enough to keep these demons far away from them.

‘Go, my friend, we will follow closely,’ Thor told him, encouraging him to go.

Tony didn’t argue, he almost leaped across the corridor to get through the hole. Wanda backed up next to Steve and Thor, the demons throwing their bodies at her barrier, trying to get through.

‘Thor, go,’ Steve said.

‘No, you should go first, I’ll help...’

‘Both of you get in the goddamn hole right now!’ Wanda interrupted. Right, there was no time to waste.

Wanda was right next to them so Thor knew that she would not be left behind. So he climbed through as quickly as he could. He paid close attention to both Steve and Wanda behind him, wanting to be sure that they were following him closely. At least Wanda’s magical barrier seemed to keep the demons from following them.

He couldn’t see a thing inside, it was too dark. The hole did not lead to a tunnel, but another cave. He opened his mouth to call Tony’s name when he reached a ledge and toppled over unexpectedly. He lost his balance before he realised there was no more ground beneath his feet. He quickly swung Mjölnir to stay up in the air.

‘Watch out!’ he called out, but of course it was a second too late as Steve was falling right towards him. Thor easily caught his friend’s arm, grabbing hold of him before he could fall further down.

‘That was abrupt,’ Steve commented.

‘The demons?’ Thor asked.

Wanda was descending down after them, surrounded by red magic.

‘They didn’t seem too keen on climbing further in,’ she said.

‘That sounds like something to worry about,’ Thor remarked.

‘Where’s Loki, Tony, and Sam?’ Wanda asked then.

‘I sincerely hope nearby,’ Thor said, frowning. He’s had enough of this darkness by now, hoped to see the sunlight again soon, but he knew they were too deep down below the surface for that.

‘Oh, there!’ Wanda said and she swiftly flew in one direction. Thor couldn’t fly with Mjölnir the way Wanda flew with her magic, so he had to wait for her to reach whatever she noticed before he could leap after her. He watched her fly further away, her bright red magic the only beacon... then all light vanished and they were engulfed in darkness.

‘Wanda!’ he shouted right away, but no answer came, she was just gone in a blink. The darkness was so thick he couldn’t even see Steve’s face.

‘Thor, get us down,’ Steve said.

‘Where?’

‘Just down, just drop down, we can’t stay here,’ Steve said.

They might be rather high up, but Steve was not fragile so Thor didn’t worry. He gripped Mjölnir tightly and let himself drop.

Thankfully they didn’t fall much, the ground was much closer than expected, but there was still pitch blackness around them. It was unnatural, Thor knew it. The air was thick and the darkness had its own weight on his skin.

‘I can’t see anything,’ Thor said, trying to look around. It took a moment, but then he saw an orange light, thin and long. It had to be Loki’s sword.

‘There, it’s Loki!’ he said, moving towards the only source of light. Steve laid a hand on his shoulder, to keep up with him.

Thankfully the light really was Loki’s sword, because the closer they got the easier Thor made out his brother’s tall form. Loki was moving, turning around, maybe searching for something, or probably trying to find any of them.

Loki turned around just when Thor and Steve were about forty feet away, and he put up both of his hands, his mouth opening. The warning was clear and Thor stopped right away. Loki’s lips were moving, but no sound reached them. His hands were touching something, was there glass in the way?

Bright light flared to life and after the thick darkness surrounding them for so long Thor had to shield his eyes to let them adjust to the sudden change. The light still bothered his eyes when he looked around again, but he still searched out Loki again straight away.

His brother was inside something that looked like a glass cube, but it glistened oddly, so it had to be a lot more than what it seemed to be. There were glowing symbols beneath Loki’s feet and if he could’ve gotten out on his own, he certainly would’ve done it by now. There was also a thick red glowing line separating them from Loki. Thor wondered what would happen if he tried to cross it.

The light came through some round disks... holes that appeared all around the large cave they found themselves in. They looked like normal openings at first glance as they showed a darkening purple sky, but the edges were moving, shimmering. Thor was reminded of the rifts the Aether tore into their reality, bringing different worlds together. If he was correct these were windows to a different realm, but most likely not one of the Nine. This did not bode well for them, for it had to be the work of the Darkholders.

‘Thor,’ Steve warned quietly.

There was a woman standing on a cliff edge high above them, pale and blonde. She was unnaturally still, her eyes empty and far away. Thor would’ve thought her dead if she were not standing on her own feet. A man stepped up next to her a moment later in Midgardian clothing, he was old, but not frail looking at all.

Thor gripped his hammer, lightning already at the tip of his fingers.

The man looked at them for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak.

‘Tony, get rid of them,’ he said.

Thor had a moment of fear that something has befallen Stark, a trick or a spell, but the person that appeared out of a dark corner was fortunately not their friend, but a young man with soft brown hair and a sick yellow glow in his eyes. Tony... Tony Hubris was his name, Thor believed, a Darkholder. He knew better than to ever underestimate humans, no matter how fragile they looked, but this was no mere human. Thor remembered Loki’s warning; they did not know what powers Chthon has given to these people. He had to be cautious.

‘Took you long enough to get here,’ Hubris said. ‘But I didn’t mind waiting.’

Thor was not one to stand around and waste his breath on talking, not when they all knew what was about to happen.

‘If you really think you can fight us both on your own,’ Thor told him. ‘Then just go ahead, try your luck!’

Darkholder or not, Steve and Thor could to take this villain down. Hubris did not seem intimidated by these words, he just threw a hand out towards them, making the ground explode beneath Thor’s feet. He was quick enough to jump out of the way of the flames that erupted from the stone, and he hoped Steve was just as fast. He still felt the touch of flames on his arm as the fire was much bigger than expected, and burning pain licked up his skin, making him groan. He barely had time to glance at the burnt flesh on his arm when new flames burst forth, singing his cape as he leaped to safety. Steve was much further away from him now, light on his feet, ready to run from the flames, thankfully unharmed.

‘You and your kind like to call yourselves gods,’ Hubris said. ‘But there is only one who is worthy of that title, and His power flows through me.’

The stone ground sizzled everywhere Thor stepped, amber glow just below the surface. His arm throbbed from the wound he suffered, but he could easily ignore it. The fire should not have burnt him this easily; his skin was thicker than that.

‘Hellfire,’ Hubris told him. ‘You don’t feel so invincible now, do you?’

Well, if fire was Hubris’ choice of weapon, Thor just needed to keep his distance. He could also give him a taste of a different kind of fire, the burning power of thunder. Mjölnir was already thrumming in his hand. More flames erupted everywhere around him, the stone turning to lava under his feet, scorching his boots, but not burning through it. He could wear these boots in Muspelheim with ease.

He watched Hubris’ eyes move to the side, glancing in Steve’s direction. While it was inadvisable to look away from an enemy that was standing right in front of him, Thor had to check that his friend was okay in this boiling heat around them. And he was, for now at least, but there were tall pillars of fire surrounding him from almost all directions. The Darkholder was indeed pleased that he cornered Steve so. Thor was infuriated, trying to decide whether to attack his foe or aid his friend.

Steve caught his eyes and the fact that he was calm even in the face of such danger settled Thor’s anger a little.

‘Don’t worry about _me_!’ Steve yelled at him, sounding almost exasperated that Thor was wasting time. Steve had to have a plan then, so Thor hesitated no longer, sent Mjölnir flying, hitting the Darkholder right in the chest, which sent him plummeting deeper into the cave. A blow like that would’ve killed any normal human, but Thor did not relax just yet, but called his hammer back and ran after the man. The fires still burnt around them, so certainly his enemy was not defeated just yet.

Thor slid down a long rocky slope, prepared for any attack, and he did not have to wait long as silent spirits made of fire flew at him just as he reached the bottom. They had no real bodies; they were just living flames with amber eyes and blazing arms. He swung his hammer, but the uru head went straight through them. So he dodged and ignored where fire touched his skin again, burning him. There was only one last thing to try since his hammer and his fists were useless, so he called forth his lightning, letting it wash through him.

He knew his storms and lightning were more than just clouds and electricity; it was magic in one of its purest of forms, as his Mother often reminded him in the past. These creatures of fire were made of magic as well, and Thor was pleased to see them turn to ash. And maybe Hubris survived a blow from Mjölnir thanks to the power Chthon bestowed upon him, but Thor knew he could still win this confrontation, one way or another. The Darkholder was hiding in the shadows again, knowing he could not win against Thor in an open fight. Maybe he hoped to launch a surprise attack, but Thor was no careless youth anymore. He was ready.

‘Where are your bold words now?’ Thor asked out loud. ‘Or are you covering in a corner like a child?’

He had a feeling Darkholders were arrogant, believed they were above other humans, so insults should work well enough with them. The stone sizzled under Thor’s feet again, proving him right. He was cautious of the flames, the Hellfire, as they could cause him much damage, but lightning crackled on his skin, making his hammer glow in the darkness. Feeling the storm so strongly within him always filled him with confidence.

He could hear the sound of someone moving in the darkness and he let lightning strike that spot immediately. Hubris ran and new flames came to life around them, these ones swirling and moving, twisting into a whirlwind. Once Hubris was far enough he turned back around to face Thor, his arms raised to control the fire that separated them. The air was so hot around them that breathing it in was getting unpleasant, and the metal of Thor’s armour was uncomfortably warm. He had to end this fight quickly. He couldn’t call forth a real storm this deep underground, so his lightning would have to do.

‘You all walked into our trap, you cocky, stupid heroes,’ Hubris said, the glow in his eyes much brighter than before. ‘But you’re done for. You can’t stop us.’

‘We’ll see about that,’ Thor said in return.

‘No, with Loki trapped there is no one left to stop us,’ the Darkholder told him, his lips stretching out into a grin. ‘Oh, and you still didn’t realise that I’m just playing with you.’

The flames grew in intensity as Hubris lifted his arms higher, but before Thor could act someone grabbed the Darkholder from behind. Thor realized it was Steve when the two of them shifted.

Hubris laughed loudly despite the arm around his throat.

‘Big mistake,’ he said, and burst into flames.

‘ _Steve!_ ’ Thor shouted as the fire engulfed the two of them. Thor’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest, fear gripping his throat, and he was unable to move for a long second as the flames filled everything up with light and heat. Then he was on the move, trying to find a spot where the flames were not as intense, to find a way through...

The fire was snuffed out abruptly, leaving only bright spots behind in Thor’s vision. He heard his own heavy breathing in the silence, then a wet gurgle full of pain.

Steve still stood there, miraculously unharmed, an arm still tight around Hubris’ neck, keeping him trapped. And the Darkholder was struggling, but only faintly now, blood dripping down from his mouth... the tip of a blade sticking out of his chest... what?

Hubris tried to grab the arm that was around his throat, but he couldn’t move it at all. It was not a serious attempt to get free, more the final desperate flails of a man in his death throes.

Thor was close enough to hear the words that came out of Steve’s mouth.

‘Did you really think you could trick a trickster?’ he asked. Hubris stopped gaping and struggling after another moment, his body going limp as life vanished from his eyes, the yellow glow snuffed out just like his flames. Steve waited one more second then let the body drop, pulling the blade back out.

Thor must’ve looked like a fool, with his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide, but he did not understand. Steve looked up at him, stared for a long second, then his face shifted into a much more meaningful “look”.

‘Oh, come now,’ he said... Thor blinked... oh... _oh!_

‘ _Loki!_ ’ Thor finally said, shouted maybe, he was not entirely in control of his own voice at the moment. He recognised both the expression and the tone now, no matter how hard it was to wrap his mind around it.

‘Keep your voice down,’ Loki hissed. The voice was still Steve’s, the face too, the body, the blue combat suit, the shield on his back, everything was perfectly in place.

Thor was speechless. He just kept staring at his brother in Steve Rogers’ shape and hoped an explanation was forthcoming. Loki had other ideas apparently, because he just crouched down next to Tony Hubris’ body and started searching him for something, almost completely ignoring Thor and his shocked silence.

There were a lot of questions in Thor’s head, so he just walked closer and started saying them out loud.

‘If you’re here, then who’s in that cage?’ he asked.

‘Why, our dear Captain, of course,’ Loki said.

‘But... how? And when?’

Loki stopped searching Hubris’ body and glanced up at Thor again. He smiled in a way Steve never did.

‘At the very start,’ he said.

‘Very start... you mean when we got here?’

‘Hmm, Stark Tower, just after the rest of you walked through my portal,’ Loki confirmed, looking all too pleased with himself. Then he went back to search Hubris’ pockets and coat. ‘I must admit I did not expect this to work as well as it did. I was sure one of you would notice much sooner and ruin it all, you or James, maybe Leah, or the Widow...’

He finally found what he was looking for as he got a dark piece of paper out of the inside of Hubris’ coat, an envelope of sorts. He looked at Thor again as he stood up, and kept talking.

‘Not that I doubted my own skills, of course, but it was hard to predict whether the Captain would be up for the task. So I’m very pleasantly surprised at how well he did.’

Thor frowned as Loki’s words sank in. He was trying to remember, look back at every word that came from either Loki or Steve, searching his mind for any signs he might’ve missed. Like that cold vicious fury in Steve’s eyes, Thor just assumed it was because of Barnes. Steve’s oddly accurate suggestions when it came to magic... hints of warmth in Loki’s tone that showed he cared... Thor didn’t think… there was no reason to think some trickery was afoot.

‘But why? Why all this?’ he asked.

Loki tore open the envelope and he pulled out another piece of paper... a page of the Darkhold. As Loki held it in his hand his eyes, Steve’s blue eyes still, locked on to the fragile looking paper, his gaze going somewhere far away, just like the last time he touched one of these pages. Then the paper went up in flames in his hand, and Loki was back, looking at Thor again through Steve’s face. He continued their conversation as if nothing happened, like he didn’t just absorb more power from this dark demonic god.

‘Because we were walking into a trap,’ Loki said. ‘And I knew that out of all the traps that could await us, the one set for me would be the biggest.’

‘So you let Steve walk into it instead?’ Thor asked, his voice getting louder again.

‘I didn’t shove him into a pit full of snakes,’ Loki rolled his eyes. ‘We agreed on a plan, and it works.’

‘A plan?’

‘Yes.’

‘If you tricked him...’

‘Oh please, don’t act like he’s some hapless fool I can bend to my will as I please,’ Loki cut him off. The long-suffering look Loki gave him was surprisingly not out of place on Steve’s face, but Steve’s version of it was never directed at Thor.

‘You knew there was a trap waiting for you,’ Thor said. ‘And you wanted him to walk into it in your place. He could have been killed!’

‘He knew what danger he would be in,’ Loki told him. ‘And he agreed to the plan regardless.’

‘That better be the truth,’ Thor warned.

‘You either underestimate your friend’s bravery, or you think more of my talent with words than I expected,’ Loki replied.

‘And what if the Darkholders tried to kill him instead of trapping him?’ Thor demanded.

‘We both agreed that was unlikely to happen,’ Loki said easily, walking closer to Thor. ‘As the Darkholders and Chthon already know that killing me is not a permanent solution.’

‘You couldn’t have known for sure,’ Thor said to him.

‘No, of course not, but it was a… calculated risk.’

Thor was not pleased about his response, but he pushed down on his urge to argue about it further.

‘You could’ve told us,’ he said instead.

‘No,’ Loki disagreed, eyeing the burns on Thor’s arms. ‘This would’ve been impossible then. To trust that you all would treat me as you would treat him, look at him like you would look at me. Nonsense. I couldn’t even expect James to be able to do that.’

Maybe so, but Thor was still not pleased about being deceived like this, even if Steve agreed to this mad plan. They could’ve come up with something better, Thor was sure of it.

Loki grabbed his wrist and Thor managed not to tense right away.

‘I’m no healer, so don’t complain,’ Loki said as his free hand lit up with a warm golden glow. He put his hand on the worst of the burns on Thor’s arm. The pain slipped away straight away.

‘You are unharmed… or is this just an illusion?’ Thor asked.

‘Fire seems to be a very integral part of my current form, so no, Hubris could not burn me.’

He was done a moment later and he pulled his hand away. There were still burn marks on Thor’s skin, but at least he was no longer in pain.

‘You need to see a real healer, and it might still scar,’ Loki said.

‘As long as I can use my arms without trouble I care not,’ Thor answered. He would not deny that he could be vain, but he’s chosen the warrior life and scars were inevitable. Loki’s hand was still around his wrist and Thor wondered why he couldn’t see the illusion shimmer where they touched. Come to think of it, he touched them both since they got here, and there were no tell-tale signs of magic.

‘This is different than your usual illusions,’ Thor said.

‘Very,’ Loki agreed. ‘We needed something more solid.’

‘Why Steve?’ Thor asked then. ‘You could’ve asked me.’

‘Yes, because Thor not being able to pick up his own hammer wouldn’t have been suspicious at all.’

‘Barnes?’

‘Jord’s magic shines like a beacon all around him, it was not possible.’

‘I still…’

Loki dropped his arm. ‘Enough questions. Your friends may be fighting for their lives this very moment and you want to chat… _and_ we still need to find James as well.’

Thor nodded, seeing no point in arguing. His fellow Avengers could be in need of their help. He was surprised that Loki still kept Steve’s shape though.

‘Aren’t you going to change back?’

‘No. There are still two Darkholders left, and now is the chance to strike while they believe they have me trapped. So you will keep quiet about this, and act like I’m your dear friend Captain Rogers… understood?’

Thor tightened his lips, but considered his options before he spoke. Steve put himself in a lot of danger. Certainly there was a chance that Loki tricked him, but he knew the good Captain enough to believe that he was willing to take such a risk. It was definitely not out of character for him to agree to a plan as dangerous as this, risking his own life. Thor didn’t have to like it, but it was the truth.

‘Won’t Chthon see through this trick?’ he asked.

Loki’s eyes narrowed as they always did when Thor called his magic mere “tricks”, but he didn’t make any scalding remarks.

‘If Chthon was able to manifest here to kill us all, he would’ve done it the moment we set foot in this place,’ Loki said simply. ‘The fact that we are still alive shows that he cannot appear in this world right now, not this close to being free. All his might must be focused on opening that door for himself.’

That was not as reassuring as Loki made it sound, but Thor just nodded.

‘And the other Darkholders?’ he asked. ‘Surely they will notice that their companion has fallen.’

‘Surely,’ Loki agreed. ‘But they’ll assume _you_ defeated him. You do have a reputation, _Mighty_ Thor.’

That certainly made sense.

‘Let’s go then,’ Thor said with another nod, ignoring the slightly mocking tone Loki used.

‘And Thor,’ Loki said, sounding like Steve again. The voice never changed, but his tone, the way he spoke was different right away. It was a flawless switch that Thor knew would make the other Avengers nervous. They were not going to like how easily Loki could pretend to be one of them. ‘Maybe the less you speak the better.’

‘It’s not as hard for me to act like you are my friend as you think it is, Loki,’ Thor told him. They used to be friends, not just brothers.

Loki stopped and looked back at him, his face unreadable even with Steve’s features. He seemed to want to say something, but he remained silent in the end. Maybe Thor was ready to be honest with his brother, but Loki certainly didn’t seem to be. Thor shook the thought aside, not allowing his mind to focus on anything but their upcoming battles.

* * *


	52. Chapter 52

Sam’s tiny flashlight did very little to help him find his way in the cloying darkness. His goggles had a night-vision mode, which he was incredibly grateful for, but they still didn’t do him a load of good here. It made no sense. He should’ve been able to see better, see something, anything... but no, just darkness. That’s how he knew he was in trouble. The darkness felt more than just the simple lack of light back in the tunnel, and maybe it was just his nerves, and the constant tightness of his muscles, but Sam doubted it. He didn’t even try to fly, because he was in no mood to crack his skull open on something. This was the worst.

Every time they moved forward they went from frying pan to fire, then back into a frying pan again. But this time Sam was alone and he had no delusions about his chances against a more dangerous demon… or a Darkholder. Still, he kept moving, because he was not the kind of guy to roll over and show his belly.

He kept his ears sharp for any noise around him, but there was just silence for a damn long time. There had to be some damn magic at play again, that was the only explanation as to how they lost each other this easily. Obviously, separating them was a good strategy. Sam, for example, was probably easy prey now. He was man enough to admit that he was a little afraid, but he didn’t panic about it. Just because the situation seemed desperate, that didn’t mean there was no way out of it.

He heard a noise from above and he raised his gun right away, aiming up into the darkness. It was not any sort of demon-screeching, but the sound was too muffled to jump into any conclusions about it. He saw a faint glow after another moment passed, slowly growing brighter.

Sam kept his finger on the trigger, but he wasn’t going to shoot until he saw what this was. He just kept his gun steady, waiting.

A few seconds went by and the light took up a shape… a shape Sam recognised after a beat and he let out a harsh breath in relief. Stark.

Tony landed heavily on the ground next to him, his faceplate opening with a soft metallic noise.

‘Man, I have never been this happy to see you,’ Sam told him.

‘You should always be happy to see me,’ Tony answered, then looked around. ‘You didn’t find anyone else either, huh?’

‘No,’ Sam confirmed. ‘I followed Loki, I kept my eyes on his back, and he wasn’t even that fast, but then he was just gone.’

‘Yeah, this place is more than a little disturbing,’ Tony said.

‘My earpiece has been silent all this time,’ Sam said then. ‘Can you reach anyone?’

‘Wouldn’t it be nice if I could,’ Tony said. ‘It probably has something to do with this weird… shadow-thingy situation here.’

‘Oh good, so I wasn’t imagining that,’ Sam sighed. The darkness seemed tangible around them, like Sam could just reach out and grab a handful. It also muffled every sound, which was even weirder.

‘So… ideas?’ Sam asked.

‘Well, we search for a way out,’ Tony said simply. ‘And shoot anything that tries to take a bite out of us.’

‘Okay, the second part is a given,’ Sam agreed. ‘But I’m not so confident about the first bit.’

‘You of little faith,’ Tony said.

‘Okay, Mr. Genius Billionaire Man, lead the way then,’ Sam told him in return.

Tony gave him a look, but Sam just lifted his eyebrows and said nothing.

‘Let’s just stick close,’ Tony said then. ‘There has to be a way out.’

‘This is goddamn demonic wonderland,’ Sam reminded him.

‘There’s always a way out.’

The way he said it; no jokes, only conviction, it actually calmed Sam’s nerves a bit. Losing sight of people one after another was putting him on edge. This felt like a battlefield a lot more than anything else he got himself involved in on Steve’s side. And you lost people on battlefields. Sometimes all it took was a second. Hell, they wouldn’t even know if someone was in serious trouble...

‘Hey, Birdie 2, don’t space out on me,’ Tony said.

‘Birdie 2, really?’

‘Barton was first,’ Tony shrugged. ‘You can duke it out with him.’

‘Can your suit pick up anything?’ Sam asked, no longer able to just joke around. Most of the time he could... maybe the darkness was getting to him.

Tony’s faceplate slid shut again, probably to look at what his scans were picking up from their environment.

‘Looks slightly electromagnetic,’ he said then. ‘But no actual gas or anything in the air, so we should be fine with the breathing and all, not that it would matter at this point.’

Yeah, they’ve been swallowed up by this darkness for some time now. If it could kill them, they would be done for already. Of course there was no way to tell whether it was affecting them in any way. Magic was unfair, plain and simple. Sometimes you might not even be able to see it, but it could still kill you, mess with your head, and a million other things. It was hard not to feel powerless against it.

‘Okay, this way, it seems to be a little... thinner,’ Tony said then. ‘If you can say that for something that has no actual mass.’

Sam stuck close to Tony, as near as he could be without being in each other’s way. Neither of them were used to working this closely together, but they could make it work. It would’ve been stupid to risk putting anymore distance between them.

Sam kept thinking of the insects that crawled out of the walls as he stared into the darkness around them, wondering if there was something equally nasty hiding from them right now. Or maybe something worse. The pumping adrenaline in his veins was familiar from his years in active duty, but uncertainty made it unpleasant instead of reassuring. It’s been a long time since he felt like this.

‘You’re breathing like a racehorse there, Wilson,’ Tony said. He had a knack for poking at things other people would politely ignore.

‘Can’t say this is a good day,’ Sam answered. ‘I’ll be fine.’

‘You’re a soldier, I’m an extremely gifted civilian,’ Tony said. ‘I should be the nervous one.’

‘Civilian, my ass,’ Sam snorted. ‘You’re wearing a goddamn tank, while my guns don’t seem to work on anything in this place. I am very rationally nervous.’

‘Okay, fair point,’ Tony agreed.

‘And I left active duty for a reason,’ Sam added a bit more quietly.

‘Oh? You’ve been quick enough to join dear ol’ Cap, so do tell.’

‘We are not having this conversation... ever,’ Sam told him. Stark was the worst kind of curious, that much Sam knew already. It’s not that he had anything against Tony, but he barely knew the guy outside of magazine covers and from what little Steve told him.

‘You didn’t need to come, you know. Steve wouldn’t have held it against you.’

‘I know he wouldn’t have.’

That never really crossed his mind, whether Steve expected him to follow. He probably didn’t. He probably would’ve understood if Sam told him he wanted to sit this out. But of course Sam didn’t want to sit this out. This wasn’t just about Steve, but everything else that was at stake. The Avengers were ready to lay down their lives and Sam was willing to do the same, simple as that.

‘Okay, you’re a big boy,’ Stark said. ‘I’m actually just trying to fill the silence or this shadowy crap is gonna--’

Sam felt an icy breeze on the back of his neck, so he spun around, gun in his hand. He saw nothing, no movement in the darkness, not even a shift, or a sound. But something knocked him off his feet a moment later, incorporeal, like a really strong blast of wind.

Tony was firing his repulsors already, but Sam had no idea what he was shooting at. Maybe he could actually see someone in his helmet, his sensors picking up movements that Sam’s eyes couldn’t catch, not even with his goggles. Sam got back on his feet, not wanting to lose sight of Tony.

Another blast of cold air slammed into him the second he was on his feet, but he managed to stay upright now that he expected to be attacked. He even caught sight of some movement from the corner of his eye. It was just a small shift, a flicker... but at least it was something. Tony fired again, but Sam still couldn’t see what he was aiming at.

‘Stay close!’ Tony shouted, which was easier said than done, but Sam ran back to him anyway. The ground felt softer under his feet than a moment before. A glance down was enough to see that there was nothing as nice as grass or carpet underneath his boots, but swirling darkness.

‘What is it?’ Sam asked the second he was close enough to Tony again. He resisted the urge to plaster his back to his, but it was a close call.

‘It’s a guy… I definitely saw a guy,’ Tony said.

‘Like… human guy or… demon-thing that just happens to look like a guy?’

‘You think I know?’ Tony asked in return, then shot at something again, his repulsor barely lighting up the darkness around them.

‘I’d really like to shoot at it too,’ Sam complained.

‘Duck!’ Tony shouted, and Sam did without hesitation. He had no idea what zipped by just above them, but it was more than just a chilly breeze.

‘How can you see it?’ Sam asked. ‘Infrared?’

‘No, there’s no light or heat, just movement,’ Tony said as he straightened up again.

Sam turned off his night-vision, switching his goggles to targeting mode. He couldn’t see a damn thing, almost not even his own hands, but only after a second his targeting was picking up movement in front of him, giving him something to shoot at. Maybe bullets wouldn’t harm whatever this was, but it was still better than nothing. Tony fired his repulsors twice, shooting at something Sam couldn’t see, than Sam lost his target. They both stood in silence, waiting to catch a glimpse of their attacker again.

‘Tony Stark,’ a voice said then. Male, and he sounded young… young-ish, it was hard to pin it down. Darkholder probably, since he knew who Tony was. ‘This is the dawn of a new world, a pioneer like you should recognize when change is coming.’

Sam wanted to give Tony an incredulous look, hearing that, but he probably wouldn’t be able to see Sam’s face properly anyway.

‘Someone like you could easily stand there at the top, right along--’

‘Oh, wow,’ Tony interrupted. ‘This is the first “come to the dark side” speech I got in a long time. Why does this happen to me? I bet nobody tried to tempt Cap or Thor.’

‘You’ve got that whole morally ambiguous vibe going for you,’ Sam told him.

‘I’m Iron Man!’

‘Hey, just saying, and it’s only people who don’t know you.’

‘It’s an insult then, I should be insulted.’

‘Money is also often linked with corruption, that’s like statistical.’

‘Outrageous,’ Tony grumbled, then fired his repulsor again as he picked up some movement in the darkness. A moment later Sam’s googles picked up something too, and he pulled the trigger on his gun straight away.

This guy was either wicked fast or there was more hiding in the thick shadows than just him. Any sign of movement vanished almost immediately, the darkness quiet and unmoving again.

‘How did you escape Amora’s spell?’ the guy asked, impossible to figure our where his voice was coming from. ‘She said you won’t be able to.’

Tony was silent for a moment too long, not reacting in any way.

‘So she didn’t want me herself,’ he said then, but the man didn’t answer, the darkness just stared back at them silently.

Sam’s targeting flashed up again, going crazy. Dark tendrils of maybe smoke, shot out of the darkness, and no matter which way Sam ducked, his legs were quickly trapped and he was down on the ground again.

He heard a loud bang and twisted around to see Tony being smashed into a wall that was impossible to see before, then more tendrils of darkness started moving and shifting around. Tony tried to lunch into the air, but with not much success. Sam shot into the darkness repeatedly, not knowing if any of his bullets hit anything, but soon the magazine was empty and he was back to struggling. He couldn’t actually reload that easily while being dragged around on the ground. He twisted around onto his stomach to make space for his wings. Maybe it won’t help him much, but it was worth a shot.

As his wings snapped open he slipped out of the grasp of the thing that was dragging him around, and he even managed to launch into the air. But then that icy cold wind was back and he smashed into a wall that came at him out of nowhere. He heard a loud metallic screech and something heavy hitting the ground again and again, but he couldn’t turn back around to check what was happening to Tony. His repulsors were still firing, but he probably was not much better off than Sam, even with the suit. They needed to find this guy, because they couldn’t fight against shadows.

‘You could’ve been one of us, you should have been--’ the man from the shadows said.

‘What the hell is your deal with me?!’ Tony shouted back incredulously just before he hit the floor again with a loud crash.

Sam’s side hurt like hell from the way he hit the wall and then the ground, but he managed to get back up on his feet relatively quickly. He reloaded his gun straight away, even if he had nothing to shoot at right now.

‘It’s not too late to think!’ the man said, his voice still coming from too many directions. ‘Earth will be united once Chthon arrives, he will bring us peace.’

‘Man, you are delusional,’ Sam commented drily, and he wasn’t even surprised when his vision was overtaken by thick darkness, forcing him back to the wall that he smashed into just before. He tried to twist away, but his wings were pinned to the stone, like he was some damn butterfly in a bug collection. He didn’t manage to keep hold of his gun this time, but at least he still had another one holstered.

‘My God will save this world,’ the man said ‘And you could have been a part of it.’

Tony was back on his feet, but there was a small shower of sparks coming from the suit when he straightened up, so he must’ve been smacked around a lot worse than Sam.

‘He’s a demon and there will be no world to save if he gets back on it,’ Tony told the man.

‘Says who?’ the man asked in return. ‘Loki? You’d trust someone who led an invasion against our planet? You are all so stupid! He has you wrapped up in his lies!’

The darkness that kept Sam trapped pulsed as the voice ascended into a shout. The more he talked the more Sam was convinced that he was younger even than his voice indicated. Tony was standing still, surrounded by twirling, moving tendrils of darkness. Sam could could only see the light coming from the suit, and the occasional sparks that still erupted from it.

‘I’ll take the devil I know, thanks,’ Tony said simply after a breath of silence.

The guy made a furious noise and the shadows moved at once, Sam’s targeting going crazy with all the movement, all the tendrils materializing out of nothing. Tony was soon gone from his sight, surrounded by darkness. Sam still heard the sound of his repulsors, but the light of them was not strong enough to break through the shadows. If Sam lost sight of him now, there was no way to know if he could find him again in this place.

Sam struggled to get away from the wall he was pinned to. It seemed like the Darkholder’s attention was fully on Tony, but that didn’t mean the thing holding Sam captive loosened its hold. He would have to slip out of his wings, that was the only thing he could think of, but he wasn’t sure it was the smartest thing to do. Hell, he might not be able to get them back once they were off. And he also didn’t know what he would do once he was free. His eyes followed anything and everything his goggles picked up, but still he saw nothing but shadows. Until a pale hand caught his eyes. His hands immediately went for the wings, one main emergency release button, two clasps. He lifted his arms to slip out of the shoulder straps and dropped down from the pinned wings.

The Darkholder didn’t see him coming with his attention on Tony. Sam ran as fast as he could, and jumped while he still saw the vague shape of the man in the shadows. He was still slightly surprised when his body actually collided with another, not entirely expecting to be able to grab hold of someone this elusive. The man made a surprised grunt as Sam knocked him to the ground, twisting him around to trap him in a hold he couldn’t get out of. Well, unless he was stronger than a human should be, which was definitely a possibility.

Something wrapped around his middle before he could pin the man down, grabbing him so tight that he could feel his ribs shift, almost cracking. Then he was pulled and hurled into the air. The man almost slipped out of his grasp... almost, but Sam held onto him. So when he was launched into the air, so was the guy in black jeans and t-shirt. He couldn’t be too pleased about being able to hold onto the guy for long, because flying through the air ended with him smashing into a wall again, this time with the guy’s added weight on his chest. Then they both fell to the ground, Sam on top of him. Not that landing on a person softened the fall at all.

His bones ached as he sucked in a deep breath. He probably broke something from this. While he was dazed the Darkholder twisted around under him, and then elbowed him in the head before he could dodge. A moment later he felt that icy almost-touch on his skin again, and he knew there were shadows gathering around them. The Darkholder turned them around, getting on top, and it was the first time Sam actually saw his face. He really did seem young, but he was also unnaturally pale, like a corpse, his eyes whirling, liquid pools of darkness, like the shadows were deep underneath his skin.

Strong bony fingers wrapped around his neck as shadows gathered everywhere around them. Sam grabbed the man’s hand, trying to pry his fingers off, but the Darkholder just bared his teeth at him, pushing his whole weight down on top of him. He would have to do something drastic to get this bastard off of him. He was worried abut the swirling tendrils above them, because he knew how easily they could trap him.

Luckily, he didn’t have to struggle for air for long as Tony charged out of the darkness, some pieces of his suit missing altogether now, and punched the Darkholder right in the face. It gave Sam the chance to twist around and push the guy off of him, kicking out for good measure. The Darkholder immediately surrounded himself with shadows, they latched onto his skin like armour. Tony shot at the guy with his one working repulsor before he could be swallowed up by the darkness completely. The blast dissolved the shadows around the guy a little, but it was also absorbed by them in return, leaving him completely unharmed.

‘Enough!’ the Darkholder shouted, looking very much like a boy on the cusp of a tantrum, all unhinged anger and panting breaths. It was good to see that he was not invulnerable, because hitting the ground and then getting punched by Tony definitely left marks on him. Every bruise was in stark contrast with his white skin. Blue bruises, not red, they didn’t look the way they should. And no matter how demonic his appearance was right now, Sam couldn’t shake the wrongness of his young features. He was sure Tony noticed that too. It left a bad taste in Sam’s mouth to even consider how this young man might’ve ended up among the Darkholders. He had a feeling there had to be a very ugly story here.

The shadows were moving a lot more erratically now, and instead of being surrounded in a large fog of impenetrable darkness, all they could see were near-tangible tendrils. The Darkholder obviously controlled these shadows easily, their shape changing depending on what he wanted to use them for. One one hand, Tony and Sam could see more than a feet ahead of them, which was nice, but on the other hand, these things looked like something to attack people with, and that didn’t bode well for them at all.

‘Listen, kid...’ Tony tried, but he was cut off immediately.

‘You were supposed to see that we were right! But now I have to kill you!’

‘You don’t have to do anything,’ Tony told him, his voice careful. ‘It’s never too late.’

The young man just huffed. ‘That’s funny,’ he said.

Then the shadows moved at once, all descending down on Tony and Sam. He jumped to the side to avoid getting grabbed again, while Tony managed to dissolve a few with his repulsor. Sam didn’t know if it was the heat, or the light, or the sheer power of those blasts, but it worked a little. He wished his gun worked at all.

Now that the darkness shifted into something easily seen Sam was able to run and dodge the tendrils going for his limbs. Of course, Tony being the main target also helped. Not indefinitely though. It was only a matter of time before he once again found himself face-first on the ground, being dragged around like a sack, the skin on his arms getting torn open by the rocks underneath him.

One of Tony’s repulsor blasts hit the tendril that was wrapped around both of Sam’s legs and the thing dissolved into black mist in a second. Sam dragged himself back to his feet despite his aching body just in time to see Tony jumped by the man... kid... the Darkholder wrapped in shadows like some nightmare creature out of a Lovecraft novel. Tony shot down a tendril or two with his gauntlet, but couldn’t dodge the young man and the blast of shadows that knocked him off his feet. Sam heard screeching metal as darkness engulfed them both. He still had one of his guns, he could shoot at the Darkholder, maybe even cause some damage.

He saw when another piece of Tony’s suit went flying, the faceplate or a piece of the chestplate, and Sam had the horrible feeling that the Darkholder was ripping pieces off the suit with whatever strength these shadows have given him. He knew he had to do something to help, anything at all. Then Tony shouted in pain, loud and agonized, as the sound of bending and tearing metal echoed in the cave again. Sam had his gun out within a moment, because there was no room to hesitate. So he aimed and pulled the trigger twice, trying to hit the guy as best as he could.

Tony’s voice cut off abruptly, finally able to keep in his shout of pain after the initial shock, and Sam knew he hit the Darkholder, at least once, because the dark shape toppled off of Tony, crumbling a little. Tony tried to get away, but his suit must’ve shut off, because he didn’t move an inch, no matter how he struggled. And worst of all, the shadows just kept moving.

Sam held his breath, his muscles tense. He was about to run to Tony when the Darkholder straightened up again, his head turning to look at Sam. Where the bullets hit him on his shoulder and side were clearly visible, despite his dark clothes, but instead of blood only thin dark smoke was coming out of the wounds. The Darkholder’s pitch black eyes locked onto Sam, and one clear through silenced all others in his head; “ _I’m gonna die_ ”.

He braced himself for the blow, because he knew the shadows were coming for him. His body tightened in anticipation, expecting the pain that was about to come. And the shadows did move as the Darkholder shifted his focus from Tony to Sam, but a bright beam of golden light ripped through the tendrils and the living darkness, hitting the Darkholder square in the chest, knocking him off of Tony at last, plunging him back into a dark corner of the cave.

Sam spun around, blood dripping into his eyes as he moved his head, his body sagging in relief as Vision flew closer, the stone on his forehead bright and brilliant.

‘Oh, thank god,’ Sam breathed out. Vision glanced at him, but Sam must’ve looked better than he felt, because the android went straight for Tony, landing right next to him.

The Darkholder was still down and Sam wondered if he was dead. He knew Vision’s beam was powerful, like Thor’s lightning level of powerful, but still. There was a bit of wisdom in old action movies; because usually if something bled, then it could be killed. This guy did not bleed, so different rules applied.

Vision was down on one knee, checking up on Tony, so Sam tried to ignore the ache in his muscles and hurried closer too.

‘Easy, easy,’ Tony was saying.

‘There’s blood, Tony, I need to get you out of the suit,’ Vision said.

‘Yes, the release mechanism--’

‘I know your suit as well as you do, just stay still,’ Vision said. He was not kidding about the blood, because there was plenty of it coming out from between the broken pieces of the armour. Sam took a deep breath and got his head in the game.

‘Keep an eye on that Darkholder, Vision,’ Sam warned as he knelt down on the ground next to him.

‘No breathing or heartbeat,’ Vision reported simply. Well... okay then.

‘Do you know where the wound is?’ he asked Tony instead.

‘Ahh, well... going by the astounding amount of pain... right leg, at least the biggest one... ugh.’

Tony’s faceplate was mostly gone, so Sam could see the bruises and cuts on his face, and also how he clenched his eyes shut in pain.

‘At least that’s probably the urgent one.’

Vision finally seemed to have reached some manual release switch as the suit opened up in several places. There was more blood on the inside of the leg, which was disconcerting. A twisted piece of metal must’ve stabbed him in the leg when the Darkholder started tearing the armour off of him. But at least Sam knew what the hell he was doing.

‘Please tell me I remember that paramedic stuff about you correctly, Wilson,’ Tony said.

‘Pararescue, yeah, I got ya’, just focus on keeping your breathing in check, don’t get your heart rate up.’

He was probably as pumped full of adrenaline as Sam was, so his heartbeat was most likely already going crazy, but he understood what Sam meant. Tony nodded as Sam switched his goggles back to night-vision, needing to see as best as he could. He didn’t have much in terms of equipment, but he should be able to stop the bleeding. The wound was on the outside of Tony’s thigh, so the main blood vessels on the inside were fine. It sucked and it was dangerous, but he was not about to bleed out in a matter of minutes. Silver lining and all.

He got his knife out of his belt and cut the under armour on Tony’s leg to get to the wound.

‘How’d you find us?’ Tony asked, looking at Vision.

‘I heard you,’ Vision responded. ‘I’ve been searching since I left you behind in the tunnel,’ he added, then he shook his head. ‘I should’ve stayed, it was pointless to leave you behind.’

‘You got to us in time,’ Sam told him. The wound on Tony’s leg was fortunately not life-threateningly deep, but it was a long jagged cut that should be sewed together as soon as possible. Sam didn’t know if they had time for it. He glanced up at the Darkholder again, still and looking very dead.

‘Yes, I found you, but what of the others?’ Vision asked. ‘I worry.’

‘We’ll find them,’ Tony said, closing his eyes again. ‘Hey... I should have some surgical glue in the left gauntlet, s’for emergencies... if we can find it... if you can use it at all... How bad is it? Don’t go easy on me.’

‘Could be better, could be a lot worse. Not sure I can use skin glue, Tony, the wound is too deep and long, and the edges are uneven too,’ Sam said. ‘I can sew it together with what I have, if we can stick around here for longer than a minute or two. Not sure how safe it is.’

‘You should start on those stitches, I’ll search for the gauntlet and the glue,’ Vision offered, getting to his feet.

Sam used the torn pieces of Tony’s under armour and pressed it to the wound, trying to wipe away as much blood as he could.

‘It’s not that deep, but it’s bad,’ Sam told him, seeing no point in lying about it.

‘Well, I doubt we can get to a hospital anytime soon,’ Tony responded.

‘Yeah,’ Sam agreed and reached into one of the pouches on his belt to get the needle and small roll of thread that he always kept on himself when he put on his Falcon gear. He also had a few antiseptic wipes, which were easier to keep rolled up in his pouch than a spray.

‘I wish I had gauze too,’ he remarked out loud as he ripped open one of the packages to wipe the needle and Tony’s wound down. ‘This is gonna hurt.’

‘Yeah, serious lack of oversight on our part,’ Tony said after a hiss of pain. ‘We should make some team decision about this stuff.’

‘Yeah, I’m shocked it never came up before. I’m sure Steve and Natasha have a few things on them, maybe Barton too.’

‘We’re usually not trapped and separated like this,’ Tony told him. ‘Hey, maybe Doc Strange has some healing voodoo magic,’ he added. ‘That would be great.’

‘It wouldn’t surprise me,’ Sam said, finally pushing the needle through skin. Tony’s leg twitched, but he stayed still otherwise.

‘You probably shouldn’t call it voodoo magic, if you want him to help you,’ he added. Maybe talking would keep Tony calm and distracted.

‘I found it,’ Vision called out. He flew back to them straight away, holding Tony’s broken left gauntlet, already prying open a plate. He obviously knew what he was looking for.

‘Even if I close the wound I doubt you will be able to walk that well,’ Sam warned as he quickly made the stitches, his hands slippery with blood. He also wished he had gloves, but there was only so much space he had for medical supplies.

‘Yeah, no kidding,’ Tony sighed, his jaw clenched and his face tight and a little pale with pain. ‘Is the kid really dead?’ he asked then.

‘I could make sure,’ Vision told him.

‘This is the first time I saw you take down a human,’ Tony said.

‘I don’t think “human” is the best word to describe whatever this was,’ Vision said, with a hint of anger in his voice. Sam kinda had to agree, but he didn’t want to think about it too hard right now.

Tony didn’t argue, but his face was dark, his eyes somewhere far away.

‘Did I... did I know him?’ he asked then. ‘He obviously knew me... did we meet? I don’t know, the things he kept saying...’

‘I do not recall this person,’ Vision said, looking up at the body. ‘But after researching Sergeant Barnes’ list we can assume that DeGuzman is an older man, so this was either Tony Hubris Jr. or Sean Grahl. I doubt you’ve encountered either of them before.’

‘Well, a few years ago he was probably just some snot-nosed teenager,’ Tony said. ‘So maybe I did meet him before...’

‘Tony, the whole world knows who you are,’ Sam interrupted, looking up from the wound for just a quick second to catch Tony’s eyes. ‘So the fact that he knew you means nothing. And I don’t know why he was fixated on you like that, but there’s no way you had anything to do with what he was, what he turned into. That’s all just Chthon, demons, and those pages from that book.’

Sam wasn’t sure if Tony believed him. He was probably already planning to do extensive research to try and figure out who this guy was, and if they ever met before. Sam hoped not, but he didn’t say it out loud.

Sam focused on finishing the stitches, both Tony and Vision waiting silently for him to be done. Once he cut the thread he wiped the wound down again with a clean antiseptic wipe, then took the surgical glue from Vision to cover it up. The stitches alone should keep it closed, but this should help too. Who knew how much Tony would have to walk on this leg. Either way it was not a permanent solution. Sam was a field medic and Tony needed a real doctor, and a sterile environment.

‘I can’t believe I lost my suit,’ Tony sighed. “Lost” was kinda an understatement, considering it was ripped from his body piece by piece.

‘You’re alive, that’s what matters,’ Vision said. Sam had to agree, because this was way too close.

‘Yeah, well I have a feeling we are far from done with this mess,’ Tony said. ‘And I really don’t like my chances now.’

Unfortunately, Sam felt the same about his own chances. He had to check on his wings, maybe he could still use them, but he wasn’t optimistic.

Tony moved to sit up. Both Vision and Sam let him try on his own, but Vision did put an arm behind his back once he was sitting. Tony took a few deep breaths.

‘All right, let’s go,’ he nodded then, mostly to himself.

‘Let me wrap this wound with something first,’ Sam told him. ‘Then we can go.’

‘Make it quick, we need to keep looking for the others.’

‘You just said that you do not feel good about your chances,’ Vision told him.

‘Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit here longer than necessary,’ Tony responded airily. ‘Chop chop, Wilson. I feel like someone somewhere is doing something dumb and heroic as we speak. I don’t want to leave them alone without my brain for too long, that could catastrophic.’

Sam huffed in amusement.

‘You are exaggerating,’ Vision said. ‘But there’s been precedent.’

‘Ha! I want that in writing when we get back, could win me lots of arguments,’ Tony told him.

Vision said nothing, he just gave Tony a look that was definitely fond. Sam’s own chances still looked a little bleak, there was no way around that, but he wasn’t so sure about Tony’s. If it was going to be up to Vision, he was definitely going to make it out of here in one piece.

This still felt like a battlefield to Sam, in the worst sense of the word, with the wounds on his body and the blood on his hands, but he was not surrendered by soldiers and airmen, but The Avengers. They way Vision easily turned the fight they were about lose around was proof of that. So maybe death didn’t lurk just around the corner, despite how bad they chances looked. This was not the sort of battle Sam was familiar with, not the same sort of war, different rules applied. And that... that actually helped him ignore the blood on skin, both his own and Tony’s, and the ache in his bones when he stood up. If Tony was willing to keep walking with his suit gone and his leg busted, then Sam could keep walking too. This was the Avengers... he was an Avenger, he could do this.

* * *


	53. Chapter 53

It took them much longer to get through their obstacles than Natasha would’ve liked, but eventually Strange managed to move the stone that blocked their way. It seemed like he was slightly surprised by how difficult it was to do get it done, which made Natasha think that Strange had to fight with more than just the weight of the stone and gravity.

They walked in silence and rarely talked to one another afterwards, which was not really shocking. This was a very bleak and dangerous situation, and they were already separated from the rest of their group quite easily. They were all on edge.

Then the pitch black tunnel they followed suddenly turned bright. It was not a significant change, but there were spotlights in the walls that were no longer obscured, and they could actually see more than a few feet ahead of them. The darkness seemed to have dissolved into nothing, allowing the lights to do what they were meant for.

‘Okay, what was that?’ Natasha asked.

‘I believe that whoever was responsible for most of these shadows must’ve been... incapacitated,’ Strange responded.

‘What, like a demon?’ Pietro asked, eyeing the tiny spotlights suspiciously.

‘Or one of the Darkholders,’ Strange nodded. ‘The others must’ve found our enemies.’

And subdued or killed one of them. Normally, she would not assume that someone was killed, but with Loki in the picture, it was not unlikely. A victory sounded encouraging, but it also implied a lot of danger. From everything she knew about them; the Darkholders had no qualms about murder, so there was a very good possibility that things already turned bloody.

‘There has to be a quicker way to catch up with them,’ Natasha said then. 

‘We could run, but I don’t think it would be wise, considering the traps we already encountered,’ Strange told her.

‘I’m not against a light jog at least,’ Clint added. Which… while not the best solution, fair enough, it would be a little bit quicker.

‘Wait,’ Leah interrupted. She held one hand up, her eyes somewhere far away.

‘Did you find something?’ Doctor Strange asked.

‘I can sense Loki’s presence again, he’s close,’ she said.

Natasha wasn’t about to start questioning her about how she was able to “sense” Loki’s presence, she just hoped Loki was still with the others, and that his proximity meant that everyone else was nearby too.

Leah turned her head, stared at a wall silently for a breath or two.

‘It’s not just him that’s nearby…’

‘Darkholders?’ Natasha asked.

‘No, it’s… can’t you feel it, Doctor Strange?’ Leah asked. ‘Reality is becoming fragile around us.’

‘They’re close then,’ Strange said after a moment of silence. ‘Do we still have time to stop Chthon?’

‘Depends on what has already been done,’ Leah said, finally turning to look back at them again. The cracks on her skin were still a little disturbing to see.

‘Is there any way you can get us closer to everyone else?’ Clint asked, looking at Strange.

The Doctor had no answer straight away, but he also didn’t say no immediately. Thinking was good, thinking could actually get them somewhere.

‘I could get closer,’ he said, then shook his head. ‘But not all of us. What about you, Miss Leah?’

‘Not unless I am called,’ she said. ‘But Loki is close, I know it.’

Natasha sighed. Well, there couldn’t be a magical solution for everything, that’s just not how life worked.

‘Well, lead the way then,’ Pietro told her. ‘I want to keep going. If the others are fighting, I want to be there!’

Leah said nothing; she just started walking again with a brisk pace. The rest of them followed her right away. She could walk pretty damn fast for someone so small.

‘This “fragile reality” thing,’ Clint spoke up. ‘What does that mean? Can we do something about it?’

‘It means the “door” keeping Chthon out of this world is nearly open,’ Leah explained. ‘He’s clawing at it… and if someone with that amount of power is pushing against a barrier… it’s very hard to miss.’

Clint couldn’t see her face and she spoke quietly, so Natasha signed every word for him as she spoke.

‘Well, shit,’ Clint said.

‘We are not too late,’ Strange said. ‘We can’t roll over and give up.’

‘I said nothing about rolling over, Doc,’ Clint told him. ‘It’s just shit, that’s what it is, deep shit.’

‘Well… yes, it’s hard to argue with that,’ Strange agreed.

‘Can Loki still shut that door on his face?’ Pietro asked. ‘That’s what he came here to do.’

‘Once all Darkholders are dead, he can try, no sooner than that,’ Leah responded.

‘Ambitious to think, that you can kill us all so easily,’ said someone from behind them. Natasha turned with her gun raised, and she pulled the trigger several times, aiming dead centre at where the voice came from. There was a man, middle-aged at least, his hair more grey than black… and he didn’t even flinch at the bullets hitting him in the chest. Natasha sucked in a steadying breath, her mind racing, but before she could do anything else she heard the sizzle of Strange’s magic, the sound making the hair on her nape stand up.

The Darkholder dodged the fire-coloured bolt of energy with an invisible shield, obviously a lot more concerned about it than he was about Natasha’s bullets.

‘Mr DeGuzman, I presume,’ Strange said, his hands still glowing with magic. He very deliberately moved forward, making sure the rest of them were behind him. It said a lot about a man, that the first thing he thought of was the safety of others around him.

‘Dr Strange, this has been a long time coming. You’ve been on my heel like a bloodhound for how long now?’

‘Not that long actually, or this would’ve happened much sooner,’ Strange shot back pleasantly.

‘And here I though the Ancient One took care of that arrogance of yours,’ DeGuzman said with a disgusted tilt of lips.

‘Not arrogance, Mr. DeGuzman,’ Strange answered. ‘Just a fact.’

‘Well, here’s a _fact_ for you as well, Dr Strange,’ DeGuzman replied. ‘If you hoped that wretched Trickster would stop us… he couldn’t.’

‘A poor attempt at trickery, Darkholder,’ Leah spoke. ‘If Loki were dead or harmed I would know.’

‘I didn’t say dead,’ DeGuzman responded vaguely, giving her a nasty grin. Leah’s face darkened dangerously and it made Natasha tense. She still didn’t know what the girl could do, and she did not trust her enough not to be wary.

Strange did something, Natasha wasn’t sure what. It involved a hand gesture, a flash of light, and suddenly the rest of them were ducking and moving back because some energy of sorts exploded around DeGuzman. For a second she thought Strange made the Darkholder explode, but there were no guts flying at them. DeGuzman made a noise, a deep, rumbling, inhuman noise.

‘I should’ve known,’ Strange said, putting up glowing wards, the same spinning mandalas as before, all around of them. He definitely wanted to protect them, which was reassuring.

The magical light dimmed after a moment and Natasha saw... something... a  _thing_ , tearing off the remains of DeGuzman’s clothes, skin, and flesh, tossing the pieces away.

‘Not really good at playing human, are you?’ Strange taunted the thing... demon, Natasha guessed. It was bare, but its skin looked burnt, there were ridges and bumps everywhere, its face looked like melted wax. The eyes were the most human, but that didn’t say much.

‘I was tired of that old skin,’ the demon answered. ‘I like the way yours looks better, I’ll take that next.’

Strange literally glowed a second later, orange and red energy sizzling around him, violet light around his hands. He gave the demon a sharp challenging look.

‘Try me!’

The demon charged, only to be hit in the face with some sort of spell Strange sent his way. It was not enough to really stagger him though. The demon shook his head, then his skin started to move, pulsate unnaturally. He was engulfed in grey mist a second later. It swirled around him for a second, hiding him completely, then the smoke turned into little grey orbs, small as bullets, floating around quickly.

Strange moved his arms and another golden barrier appeared right in front of him, just as all the tiny orbs flew at them with incredible speed. Natasha watched as they hit the mandalas, the floating symbols flashing brightly again and again. And when one of the mandalas cracked like glass she knew right away this was not going to be easy for Strange. She wondered if there was anything they could do, or if they would just make everything worse if they tried to move from behind the wards.

‘What arrow would punch a hole in this bastard?’ Clint asked.

‘Something worse than a bullet,’ Natasha turned to tell him.

‘I could tie one of your bombs on it,’ Clint offered, and he was probability only half-joking.

‘I really don’t want this cave to bury us,’ Natasha shook her head at him. ‘Who knows what this thing can do.’

‘I hate demons,’ Clint said, eyeing the shimmering mandalas that still kept the demon’s attacks away. Natasha had no idea how long Strange could hold the protection in place, the demon seemed relentless, puffing smoke out of his skin like some fucked-up cartoon character. She was not going to forget the sight of him anytime soon.

Another few moments passed with those orbs raining down on them, but then the rapid-fire impacts abruptly stopped, and the demon completely dissolved into a thick nasty smoke.

‘He’s still here!’ Strange warned, keeping his wards firmly in place.

‘Can we do anything?!’ Pietro asked angrily, frustrated as the rest of them about not having the right tools or weapons to fight this thing.

‘Just stay where you are,’ Strange said, eyeing the swirling smoke that was now everywhere outside of the borders of the spinning golden rings.

Natasha kept her eyes on the cracked one, because that seemed like the weak link in their deference. Which was why the bright flash of light that came from the opposite side caused such a fleeting moment of shock in her. Leah made an angry noise as the smoke descended on her, while Strange immediately moved to help her. The smoke abruptly reassembled into the body of the demon, then  the thing was tossed aside right into a wall by flash of dark green magic and something dark. It was too fast to make out the exact shape, but something like a shadow jumped at the demon... then vanished.

Leah stood up from the ground before Strange could help her up, her skin glowing faintly with the same shade of green as the energy that hit the demon. The dark cracks on her face were even wider now, some green glow in them as well. One side of her face was almost completely cracked, held together by who-knew-what. Natasha was certainly not about to start guessing again what she was.

Strange turned towards the demon again, light and energy gathering around his hands, then expanding even further all around him, but the demon dissolved again. This time there was no grey smoke... there was nothing.

Strange stood still for a long moment, then first his wards vanished, then the magic he gathered around his hands did too.

‘A coward, like expected,’ he said as he turned back to them. ‘Are you all okay?’

‘Is he really gone now?’ Clint asked.

‘Yes, he fled,’ Strange said. ‘I suppose we proved to be a bigger challenge than he thought,’ he added, giving Leah a nod... then a frown, when he looked at her face a moment longer.

‘We need to find Loki,’ she said, turning to keep moving without any further comments.

‘Keep an eye out for anything out of place,’ Strange told the rest of them as they turned to follow the girl. ‘I don’t think he went very far.’

‘So he was not even a Darkholder?’ Natasha asked, holstering her guns again.

‘Maybe he was, a long time ago,’ Strange sighed. ‘It’s really hard to tell with someone this... corrupted.’

‘This whole... dark magic thing, that did this to him?’ Clint asked to clarify.

‘Yes, that would be a reasonable assumption,’ Strange nodded. ‘Or he summoned a demon, invited it in... and then the creature did not feel like leaving. Either way, he is very far from human now.’

Natasha wasn’t sure which was more disturbing, if this man did this to himself... or if he was just a victim of his own hunger for power. Not that it mattered, not here and not now. They had bigger things to worry about.

* * *

Strange’s rigid back was a good enough indication that he was expecting danger from around every corner. Smart, because Natasha was expecting the same too.

‘We really did walk into a trap, did we?’ Pietro asked, frowning at Strange’s swirling red cape.

‘Wouldn’t be the first time,’ Natasha answered simply. ‘We will get out of this, just like all the other times.’

‘What if everyone else is dead?’ he asked then in a very quiet voice.

‘They’re not,’ Natasha told him sternly. ‘And you can’t think like that.’

‘You say that like it’s easy to stop thinking about it,’ Pietro snapped back. ‘Most of us have no idea how to really fight demons or these Darkholders. This was such a bad idea.’

Natasha didn’t tell him that he did not need to come, because it would’ve made him more angry.

‘You know as well as I do, that Wanda is stronger than almost any of us,’ she said instead.

‘I know she is!’ Pietro responded angrily. ‘She’s okay... I know she’s okay, I’d know it if she weren’t... I would know. But... I still think she’s in danger.’

‘We’re all in danger,’ Natasha reminded him. ‘You have to have faith in her, and everyone else too.’

‘I’m not so good with trust and all,’ Pietro said, quiet again.

‘I think I already told you to join the club... months ago.’

Pietro huffed and gave her a look, that “brat” look he loved giving Tony.

‘Stop,’ Strange said, putting a hand up. Leah was walking just before him, but even she turned around to look at him. ‘Someone’s coming...’

‘I don’t hear anything,’ Pietro said, blinking at the half-dark tunnel in front of them.

‘There,’ Clint said in a whisper, raising his bow, ready to shoot whatever was approaching.

Natasha saw a glimpse of glowing yellow.

‘Wait,’ she said, lifting a hand up for Clint to make sure he held fire.

And sure enough, her hunch was right, because after another moment Vision flew into view, the stone at his forehead a small beacon in the darkness.

‘I found you at last,’ he said straight away.

‘Is everyone all right?’ Pietro asked him.

Vision gave him an apologetic look.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I only found Tony and Sam.’

‘You were separated too?’ Natasha asked.

‘Yes,’ Vision nodded. ‘One of the Darkholders, I believe, had the power to... bend reality to a certain degree. We were in a loop... then lost in darkness. But follow me, please. I do not want to leave Tony and Sam defenceless for long.’

‘Tony’s pretty good at keeping himself safe,’ Clint reminded him.

‘I’m afraid he no longer has his suit, and he’s injured too... so please, we must go.’

‘Lead the way,’ Strange said. Vision turned to fly back to where he came from, but with such a speed that the rest of them were forced to run to keep up with him. But at least they could be sure that there were no more traps ahead.

‘How did Tony lose the suit?’ Natasha asked Vision as soon as she caught up with him a little.

‘From what he said, and what I saw, it was... ripped apart,’ Vision answered, his voice a bit too strained, either from anger or worry. He was hard to read still.

‘Was it a Darkholder?’ Pietro asked, easily running right beside Vision. The speed was most likely glacial for him still.

‘Yes,’ Vision confirmed.

‘And is he dead?’ Leah asked next, just a few steps behind Strange.

‘Very,’ Vision said in return, his brief words speaking from themselves.

‘You can never be too sure with Darkholders,’ Leah told him.

‘I made sure,’ Vision said, and now Natasha was a little more certain that there was anger in his voice. He rarely heard such a tone from him, but this was also the first time any of them got injured... no, the first time _Tony_ got hurt since Vision came to be. Not counting the incident with Amora. After all, Natasha knew that there was a big difference between the type of mind-fuckery Amora did, and seeing someone bleed right in front of you.

They didn’t need to run that far as the tunnel soon ended, finally. They’ve been walking around in enclosed passageways for way too long, and it put them at a serious disadvantage. She was happy to see them reach a bigger and lighter space, even if it was still a damn cave, only bigger.

‘The drop is not that big, you can climb down easily,’ Vision told them as he flew down.

‘Shit, do you see that?’ Clint asked just as Natasha was about to get down after Vision. She looked up at what Clint was looking at, which was a bright spot of light a little further ahead.

‘We’re that close to the surface?’ Pietro asked. ‘I thought we were deeper.’

‘We are deeper,’ Leah said. ‘That’s not Midgard.’

Even without any strange magical powers Natasha could see that the colours streaming through the hole were a little odd, even for a sunset.

‘Do I want to know what it is then?’ she asked. Leah and Strange talked about a fragile reality, so this had to be what they meant, whatever this was.

‘I’m not sure you do,’ Leah said.

‘Do you need me to help you get down?’ Strange asked the girl.

‘There’s no need,’ she shook her head, then she simply jumped down, height be damned.

‘Right, of course,’ Strange murmured. ‘The rest of you should go ahead, I’ll keep watch.’

They didn’t argue.

‘I’m not the best rock-climber,’ Pietro complained.

‘I’m sure you won’t break anything if you fall,’ Natasha teased.

‘That makes me feel so much better,’ he grumbled in return, slowly making his way down after Clint. Natasha followed from a safe distance, but Strange stayed up until all of them reached the ground below.

It was clear what Vision meant about Tony when they reached the bottom. He was sitting with his back to the cave wall, his face pale and sweaty, his right thigh covered in dried blood, the wound was covered with a makeshift bandage that was probably made from Tony’s undersuit and some pieces of Sam’s t-shirt. Sam himself looked really banged up too, bruises and scratches covering his face and arms, crouching next to Tony.

Pietro was next to them in a blink, kneeling down to the ground, his hand hovering above Tony’s shoulder for a moment before he pulled it back. Natasha and Clint jogged over too once they hit the ground.

‘This is the worst vacation,’ Tony told them right away.

‘How are you?’ Natasha asked.

‘Alive,’ Tony huffed.

‘He needs a hospital, and a real doctor,’ Sam said. ‘As soon as possible.’

‘He’s just being dramatic,’ Tony said. ‘I can almost walk on my own, which I consider a good sign. Plus, I got one gauntlet to work,’ he added. Lifting his left arm, showing the gauntlet on it, wiggling his metal-covered fingers.

‘So, what now?’ Pietro asked, looking back at Clint and Natasha.

‘We need to keep moving. Find everyone else,’ Natasha said, still looking at Tony. ‘Are you up for it?’

‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘I’m just a bit slower, and a lot more squishy than usual.’

‘I can walk with him,’ Sam said. ‘My wings are busted, so I’m grounded anyway.’

‘Any idea where to look for the others?’ Clint asked.

‘We’ve been trying to regroup since we were separated, but man, not much luck,’ Sam said.

‘I think now that the shadows are gone we will have an easier time searching,’ Vision added.

‘Okay, so which way?’ Clint asked, looking around. ‘We could flip a coin, I guess.’

‘This way,’ Leah said, immediately walking away from them. It was an annoying habit, and showed how little she cared about any of them, but at least she had some weird Loki-radar that lead them in the right direction.

‘Okay, here goes nothing,’ Tony said, taking a deep breath. Sam grabbed his right arm, and after a moment Pietro grabbed his left. Tony’s lips tightened in pain, but he still gave them both an annoyed look. ‘I can walk, okay, just cut it out.’

‘Yeah, but you can walk faster like this,’ Sam told him. That reasonable voice of his was bound to annoy Tony even further, but he was neither stupid, nor too proud to refuse help.

‘I’ll cover your backs,’ Vision said right away, gesturing for the rest of them to move. Natasha and Strange took the lead, following Leah into the darkness again, with Clint close to her side. His constant presence was very reassuring in this whole mess. He put his bow back on his back and after a moment he drew Natasha’s attention to sign something.

‘ _We need evac for Tony._ ’

‘ _Ideas?_ ’ Natasha signed back. He knew just as well as Natasha that they couldn’t just leave this place. That magical barrier that appeared after they arrived was probably still there, and who knew what lurked in these caves still. They also couldn’t contact anyone on the outside.

Clint made a horns sign with his hand, then curled up his pointer and little finger a bit. That was the sign they decided to use for “Loki” a while back.

Natasha stared at Leah’s back and shook her head. Loki was not going to leave until this was done, even if he could.

‘ _Magic healing_ ,’ Clint signed next, giving Natasha a questioning look. Then he glanced over at Strange.

‘Doctor Strange,’ Natasha spoke out loud. ‘I don’t suppose you have any... mystical way to heal someone.’

Strange sighed, and clenched both of his hands tightly.

‘Believe me, I searched for a long time for something like that,’ he said. ‘If I could help Mr Stark, I would’ve offered by now.’

‘Just checking,’ Natasha said. ‘So Leah, what about Loki then?’

‘Really, Romanoff?’ Tony asked from behind. ‘Being at Loki’s mercy once already wasn’t enough? I’m fine!’

‘Loki’s no healer,’ Leah said. ‘He could not do much more than what your friend has already done. He always called them quick temporary measures, nothing more.’

‘Sometimes a quick fix can make the difference between life and death,’ Strange said.

‘And sometimes it matters very little,’ Leah told him in return. That did not sound like a general statement, but something a bit more specific. Natasha didn’t bother to ask, because she knew she wouldn’t get an answer.

* * *

The further they walked the more circular disks were visible around them. Most of them were high above, but some were on the walls too. It really didn’t look like Earth on the other side, even if the glimpses Natasha caught showed nothing but an oddly coloured country-side. Not as diabolic a sight as one would expect. Strange eyed the holes with a deep frown, but Natasha didn’t ask him anything. She had a feeling that Strange would speak up if he figured something out. He didn’t strike her as the type to hold his tongue about important things.

‘My friends!’ she heard, and turned her head to see Thor running towards them. ‘Are you... Tony, you are hurt.’

‘Don’t worry about it, big guy,’ Tony shrugged.

‘What happened to your arm?’ Natasha asked, staring at the vivid burns on Thor’s skin.

Thor looked down on the wounds.

‘A Darkholder,’ he said. ‘He commanded fire. Well, hellfire he called it, even my skin was not thick enough to withstand it. Tony Hubris, his name was. I’ll heal, it’s no bother.’

‘Was?’ Leah questioned.

‘He’s dead,’ Thor told her with a grim nod. ‘I saw the shadows disperse. Have you defeated one of our enemies?’

‘Yeah, young guy, real creepy, he did the things with the shadows. Pretty sure he was the one to separate us,’ Sam said. ‘Vision shot him with his beam... thing.’

‘That was Sean Grahl then,’ Natasha nodded to herself, crossing off the two names from her mental list. ‘We saw DeGuzman... or what was left of him.’

‘Is he dead as well?’ Thor asked.

‘No, but he’s not just a Darkholder, he’s a demon,’ Strange explained. ‘We fought, but he fled before we could do much.’

‘I see,’ Thor nodded, looking at all of them again. ‘And where’s Wanda?’

‘She’s not with you?’ Pietro asked.

‘Nay, only Loki and Steve,’ Thor said. ‘I hoped she joined you again.’

Pietro let go of Tony’s arm and turned away a little, putting a hand over his eyes, hissing out a curse in Sokovian.

‘Hey, she’s fine, we’ll find her,’ Clint told him, stepping closer to him right away to grip his shoulder firmly. ‘You hear me? She’s fine.’

‘She’s fine,’ Pietro nodded. ‘It’s the demons that need to be worried,’ he added, looking up at Clint.

‘Exactly,’ Clint nodded, giving his shoulder another firm squeeze.

‘And no sign of James either?’ Thor asked with a sigh, not looking happy about the news. ‘Loki and Steve will not be pleased, but let us move, we need to decide where to go next. Come!’

Thor led them down a sharp slope, and Leah soon started running, leaving the rest of them behind. Natasha saw the glittering cube first, which turned out to be a something that looked like a glass cage. She doubted it was actually glass, because that would not have kept Loki trapped. He seemed very unhappy about his predicament, pacing a little inside.

Steve stood right outside of this magic cube, leaning to the side. He was talking to Loki when Natasha first noticed him, but he fell silent when he noticed Leah running towards them, then he looked up at the rest of them approaching, pushing himself away from the transparent barrier. Loki turned to follow his gaze, finally noticing them as well.

Leah pressed her hands up to the cube.

‘How did this happen?’ she demanded.

‘He can hear you, but you won’t hear him,’ Steve said. ‘DeGuzman set a trap... You did not find Bucky.’ It was not a question.

‘Sorry, but no sign of him,’ Sam told him while he helped Tony sit down again. The rest of them gathered around the cube. Strange walked up to Leah, touching the barrier as well, probably already trying to find a way to open it up. If there was a way at all. Thor walked back to Steve.

‘They have defeated Sean Grahl,’ he said. ‘That’s two of the Darkholders dead.’

‘And DeGuzman?’ Steve asked.

‘He’s a demon,’ Strange told him. ‘Maybe he’s always been, maybe it’s something new. He’s around somewhere.’

Thor gave Steve a questioning look that Natasha couldn’t interpret.

‘Both Wanda and James are missing still,’ Thor said next. ‘But we only have DeGuzman to worry about.’

‘Yes, if you ignore that,’ Steve said, gesturing somewhere high up behind him. Natasha looked up and inhaled a bit too sharply.

‘Yelena,’ she said her name quietly. She was standing motionlessly at the edge of a little cliff, her eyes locked on nothing. She looked too pale and rigid, unnaturally still, as if frozen in place... or dead.

‘Chthon’s close,’ Steve said.

‘Have you tried getting her down from there?’ Strange asked.

Steve shook his head.

‘It’s not worth the risk, we don’t know what will happen if we get any closer.’

Natasha kept her eyes on Yelena, but she was like a statue. She wanted to go to her, but maybe Steve was right and it was not worth the risk. She would put all of them in danger, maybe even risk Yelena’s life... all of their lives. They had to be smart about this, but seeing her in the flesh, so very close... she had to do something.

‘So what then?’ Sam asked. ‘We’re not gonna sit here waiting for something to happen, right?’

Thor gave Steve a look again.

‘No,’ Steve said simply, crossing his arms.

‘There’s no point now,’ Thor said. ‘Two out of three, it’s as good an advantage as we will get, it’s time to move.’

‘You’re not--’ Steve started, but Thor cut him off. His tone made Natasha look at them again.

‘It’s enough,’ Thor said sternly, his voice pitching low in warning.

‘What’s going on here?’ Natasha asked with a small frown.

‘Yeah, something happen?’ Tony asked from his spot on the ground. ‘You guys are usually very buddy-buddy.’

Thor and Steve shared another look, then there was something like a thud, which made everyone look at Loki in his trap. He hit the barrier with an angry fist to get their attention. He stared at Steve now, spreading his arms expectantly.

Steve sighed.... he sounded very long-suffering, which was not a noise Natasha was used to hear from him.

‘It’s enough,’ Thor said again, a bit softer this time.

‘Ugh, fine,’ Steve huffed, uncrossing his arms. ‘You are incredibly dull.’

His tone was strange, the words too, but Natasha couldn’t put her finger on it. It was like a fleeting thought, a word on the tip of her tongue, something very familiar and unusual at the same time.

‘So you’ve told me countless times,’ Thor said to him with huff.

Steve just shook his head, opened his arms a little, and bright orange-gold light lit up around both of his hands, bright as flames. Natasha took an abrupt step back automatically, and she heard a few exclamations and sharp inhales from the rest of their group.

‘Okay, blood loss, I’m hallucinating,’ Tony said. ‘I’m seeing a magical Steve.’

‘Oh, the looks on your faces alone would’ve made all of this worth it,’ Steve said... Steve? No... it couldn’t be.

‘What’s happening?’ Pietro asked.

‘This is no time for mockery, Loki,’ Thor spoke up, his tone once again a warning.

The odd little pieces in Natasha’s mind all assembled into a clear picture... and she was not happy about what she saw.

‘Wait, you’re Loki? Then who the hell is that?’ Sam asked, pointing at the guy standing inside the cube.

‘Why, our dear Captain Rogers of course,’ Loki said, giving them a smile that had no place on Steve’s face. Natasha looked at the figure that looked like Loki in the trap. He lifted a hand and gave them a single wave.

‘Turn back,’ Natasha said. ‘Right now.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t do that until this cage is so firmly shut,’ Loki said, turning towards the barrier with his glowing hands, still looking like Steve.

‘Wait, wait... how is this _possible_... and why the hell?’ Clint demanded.

Loki ignored him, his attention fully on the transparent cube, so Thor answered instead.

‘Loki knew that the Darkholders would have a trap set up for him, so he and Steve constructed a plan to deceive them. They’ve traded places back at Avengers Tower.’

All this time then... and none of them noticed. The thought was very unpleasant.

‘You would keep something like this from me?’ Leah asked, giving Loki a hard look.

‘Just a little trickery, my dear,’ Loki said. ‘There was no time to discuss it all in detail.’

‘You and your trickery,’ Leah shook her head. ‘It could’ve gone very wrong.’

‘It didn’t’,’ Loki said simply.

‘James will punch you in the mouth when he hears about this,’ Leah added.

Loki actually smiled, it still looked wrong on Steve’s face.

‘Yes, he probably will,’ he agreed with a nod.

‘Did you know?’ Natasha asked Thor.

‘No, Loki only revealed himself to me during our battle against Tony Hubris. I did not suspect a thing.’

‘What the hell sort of plan was this anyway?’ Clint asked. ‘Steve walks into a trap set for you? That’s it?! You goddamn asshole.’

‘The Captain and I reached an understanding,’ Loki said. ‘The rest of you will just have to deal.’

‘Can you take this down?’ Strange asked, abruptly changing the topic, either deliberately or not. His attention was still firmly on the transparent cube, so maybe he didn’t even pay attention to what was being said around him. ‘If it was designed for you...’

‘It was designed with the idea that I will be on the inside,’ Loki said. ‘It will take just a little time, if I’m not constantly interrupted.’

Natasha just stared at him. He looked exactly like Steve, not a single detail was wrong, and up until a few minutes ago even his speech was a perfect copy of Steve’s. Thor told them a few times that Loki was a trickster, a silvertongue, but she never thought he was capable of perfect mimicry like this, and perfect shapeshifting like this. And even Steve did not give himself away. Loki seemed maybe a little less talkative, and a bit softer around the edges, but Natasha believed that was due to his recent change, his latest “resurrection”.

She didn’t think Loki tricked Steve into this. It sounded like just the sort of reckless, dangerous plan that Steve would agree to. But it did worry her that he seemed to trust Loki to this extent, putting a damn target on his own back and hoping for the best. Maybe it was because of Barnes, maybe it was something else, but it just rubbed Natasha the wrong way. Even now as Loki moved his hands around on the outside of the cube, Steve kept his eyes on him, giving him a look here and there. She knew how much Barnes meant to Steve, and that he couldn’t help but have faith in him, but this seemed like a bad idea, to trust Loki by association.

Whatever Steve’s reasons, she wanted to get him alone in a room and question him about it for a _very_ long time.

The transparent cube melted away after a long stretch of time that all of them spent in tense silence, just as Loki said.

‘About time,’ Steve told him, his voice still like Loki’s.

‘We had to be sure we did all we could, while we could,’ Loki said in return, and held out a hand.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Steve said and took the hand. An orange fire-like light lit up between their palms then it spread up on their arms, the illusion, magic... whatever it was, dissolving finally. Loki’s brown armour turned into Steve’s blue uniform, and the same happened the other way around. Short blond hair turned to long rusty red, red to blond, and suddenly Steve stood there with Loki’s sword, and Loki with Steve’s shield. It was hurting Natasha’s brain. The two of them exchanged weapons wordlessly.

Then Steve finally turned to look at them.

‘Look, I’m sorry, but whatever you wanna say, we’ll get back to it later. Right now we need to find Wanda and Bucky, and stop DeGuzman before it’s too late.’

And damn, Natasha didn’t want to agree. She wanted to speak her mind about this, about a whole list of things Steve needed to listen to, but he was right of course, they had no time. She hated it, but Natasha said nothing.

‘What about her?’ Leah asked, nodding her head towards Yelena still up on the cliff.

‘That... is a problem for later,’ Loki said. ‘James first.’

And that... maybe that was the reason he and Steve had this understanding. Natasha couldn’t decide whether that was good or bad, but for now she had no other choice but to deal with it. And damn Loki for stating that so plainly, being right about it. Whatever she thought, whatever she believed, they needed to finish this before anything else.

James first, Loki said. Well... maybe for him and Steve. Natasha had different priorities. She glanced back at the cliff above and Yelena’s motionless form. If she could be saved, if there was even a small chance... Natasha was going to take it. And Loki will just have to deal with _that_.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will take us back to Bucky, I swear, I swear!


	54. Chapter 54

Wanda was good at taking care of herself. It wasn’t ego, or false confidence, it wasn’t just her wanting to prove her worth. She knew what she was capable of, for the most part. If anything, she usually worried about doing too much, losing control of the power that was under her skin. She did get scared, and she knew she would never be fearless, but she also knew that she could fight, and that she had a good chance of winning.

And yet, when the darkness engulfed her and separated her from everyone else… she was both worried and a little spooked. No amount of confidence in her abilities was ever going to make this whole thing any less scary. She did wonder whether she ended up on her own by chance, or if she was singled out for some nefarious reason. She didn’t think the Darkholders would want anything to do with her specifically, but it was best not to assume.

The lack of anything resembling enemies was unnerving as well, because it filled Wanda with a sense of foreboding. The shadows had weight in a very non-physical sense, she could feel them pressing down on her. She did her best to ignore it while she moved forward, trying to catch a glimpse of that light she spotted when she lost the others. It couldn’t have been just a figment of her imagination.

She only wandered around in the dark for a short time before she became incredibly frustrated. She let energy gather around her hands, creating more and more light around her. She couldn’t light up the darkness completely with gentle methods, so she would have to be more aggressive about it. She found it easier to unleash her magic than to rein it in, so in only a few moments the darkness around her was consumed by ruby-red light, showing a lot more of the cave around her… and then finally that light in the distance that she spotted earlier. She really was not just imagining it.

Wanda picked up speed to run closer, letting her magic light the way to keep the shadows at bay. She had to ascend into the air to reach it, and then what she saw confused her, because it seemed like a hole that led outside. There was a glass-like barrier and a world that was nothing like Earth on the other side. She touched the transparent surface carefully, but nothing happened. There was energy under her palm, something strong and unfamiliar… old maybe. It was really hard to put feelings into words when it came to all of this.

She could use a teacher. Someone to explain what the tingling feeling in her fingertips actually meant, because right now she had no idea.

There had to be more down here than this, so she looked around again to search for any other source of light. The Darkholders were trying to free this demon god after all, so there had to be more than this around here. Hopefully, that something was not some freaky demonic ritual. She really didn’t want to find something like that. She let magic guide her forward, following the tingles in her fingers and the odd shiver down her spine. Something was close by.

She had to fly even higher in the end, which was not ideal actually, because the bright red light flowing around her was not very subtle. It felt good to find her footing again only after a minute or so in the air, leaving only as much red energy in the air as she needed to see.

There were a few more of those holes in the side of the cave, all showing that foreign world. It looked strangely lifeless, even with all the colours. Then she noticed a dark shape in the corner of one of them, but it was too far away to decide what it was. She extinguished all light, allowing the darkness to hide her as she cautiously made her way closer. Whatever it was, it seemed motionless. She felt silly for being this careful for a second, because maybe it was just an oddly shaped rock, but then again... better safe than sorry.

The closer she got the more obvious it became that it was not a rock... but human... or human-shaped. Her magic was humming in her palms as her heartbeat picked up. Those clothes looked familiar.

‘Barnes?’ she asked, her voice just loud enough to be heard, but the shape didn’t move. Throwing caution to the wind she ran closer.

He was on the other side, sitting on the yellow grass, his back to the transparent barrier. It didn’t seem like he heard her call his name.

‘Barnes!... James!’ she repeated louder. She crouched down to hit the barrier with her hand, but it didn’t make any noise. ‘James!’ she called again, but he had his back to her and she couldn’t get into his field of vision.

‘This damn thing,’ she cursed, looking at the barrier. After a second she let her hands light up with magic again, making it as bright as she could. It was mostly just light, not much power behind it.

The second the red light flashed Barnes jumped a little, scrambling away from the barrier, turning around. He stopped moving when he spotted her. Oh, there was a lot of blood, hopefully not all of it his. The cuts and bruises were definitely bad. He also didn’t get to his feet, despite being obviously startled. Not good.

Barnes moved back closer to the barrier, his mouth opening, but of course no noise came though. Wanda shook her head and let her magic vanish to point at her ears. As soon as the red light was gone Barnes pushed both hands to the barrier, frantically searching for something.

Wanda glanced back but there was nothing behind her. When she turned to shoot Barnes a questioning look he couldn’t catch his eyes. He was staring right past her.

‘Oh!’ she realized, pressing her hands to the barrier again, lighting it up with magic. Barnes immediately looked at her, his shoulders slumping a bit. ‘You can only see me like this, got it. I’ll get you out of there. Okay? Let me think, I can figure this out.’

She had absolutely no idea how she was going to figure this out. Her mind raced as she kept staring at the barrier and her red magic pulsing on its surface. Could she destroy the barrier by sheer force? She wasn’t sure it was possible, but it was the only thing she could think of. She didn’t know these powers the way Loki and Doctor Strange, she didn’t study any of this, it was all just instinct for her. So if there was any other way, she could not see it.

‘Okay, get back,’ Wanda said lifting one of her hands to gesture at Barnes to back off. Barnes gave her a frown, but he moved.

‘All right,’ Wanda said, taking a deep breath and relaxing her shoulders. She didn’t want to go full force at once, so she gradually gathered more and more power into her hands, lighting up the entire barrier. She focused on what was in front of her, but an icy feeling crept up her neck, making her whip her head around in alert.

A white shape launched at her. Wanda turned and threw up a shield in defence. For a moment she thought that a terrible monster from her childhood stories was in front of her. An eerily white face with sunken black eyes, a sharp slightly feminine jaw, a tousled mop of spiderweb hair, pale blue lips… just like an evil _víla_ … right out of a dark fairy tale. It couldn’t be a Darkholder, those were human, in the broad sense of the word, and this was not.

Wanda sent a strong blast at the thing, throwing it back, but she did not lower the barrier that protected her. The thing flew back in the air and slid back into one of the holes, right through the barrier, over to the other world.

That icy feeling on her skin, this strange unseen wind-like power, she felt this before… very recently.

‘So you grabbed Barnes,’ Wanda said, slowly stepping forward, keeping her eyes on the holes she could see in the cave wall, not knowing where the thing might come through next. She saw that Barnes was pressed close to the barrier again, searching for her with his eyes, but unable to see anything. She couldn’t show him that she was still here, not while this creature was around.

‘Come on, show yourself,’ she said quietly, loathing to wait and being on the defensive.

The creature was silent as it finally appeared through one of the holes, but still Wanda felt that icy feeling on her skin, which gave her more than enough time to block… the sword? The thing held a sword, as white as her skin and clothes, now trapped by Wanda’s red magic, hovering in the air.

‘You have to try harder than this,’ Wanda said, even though she had no idea if the thing could understand her. She wrapped the sword up her magic tightly, imagining sinking claws into it, then she shattered it to pieces. Then she sent another two blasts at the thing, aiming slightly differently this time, smashing the creature into a wall, trying to keep it from slipping away again. The creature pushed herself away from the wall, cracking the stone all around her, but Wanda dug in her heels and pushed her right back into it, with even greater force than before. She could feel the resistance, the thing pushing at her, an invisible power fighting her back, but she didn’t let up.

This was not a permanent solution, but Wanda hesitated going for a killing blow straight away. The thing looked nightmare-inducing and it attacked her, but that feeling of her power penetrating someone’s body, ripping it apart from the inside… she did not like doing it. She had to imagine sinking her fingers into a solid body, she had to picture grabbing hold of everything on the inside, then she had to transform her will into a solid intent to kill… it didn’t come easy.

But Barnes was still pressed to the barrier, bloody and injured, still searching for her, and there was no room to waver just for the sake of her own comfort. So she pictured it all, sinking in, holding on tight… ripping it apart. There was no blood, just dust and stone and bones. It didn’t make much difference, not on the inside, not in Wanda’s mind, but it was done.

She sucked in a few harsh breaths, letting a shudder run through her, shaking out her hands, then clenching them into fists for just a moment. Then with a new deep breath she hurried back to the barrier and lit it up again with magic. Barnes sat back on the ground with a sigh.

‘Okay, let’s try this again,’ she said. Barnes didn’t need to be told to stand back this time, he moved right away.

She could do this. That thing wouldn’t have tried to stop her if she couldn’t, so there had to be a way. Her current idea was sheer brute force… that usually did the job. If it didn’t work, she’ll think of something else.

She felt the barrier strain under the weight of her power the second she focused all of her attention on it. And it wasn’t just reacting to her, it sang painfully in her hands, the creak of an old tree right in the back of her mind. A tree was an odd, but fitting simile, because the barrier felt alive, yet strangely neutral. She felt neither malice nor benevolence, so the one who created this did so without clear intent. It merely existed with no purpose beyond existence.

Which was true for walls in general, magical or other kind. She wanted to huff at herself for getting distracted by the thin threads that linked this barrier to its creator. She wanted to crush this to pieces to make way for Barnes to get out, yet she was examining it like it was a peculiar trinket. No more of that.

Her intent had to be sharp and clear, all of her power honed in on one target. The barrier resisted her strongly, so it didn’t feel like she was getting anywhere at first. Maybe she needed to push a little more, just a little more... she never let her power go completely, but she knew she was close, she knew it. Her body ached from the power she channelled, but her blood was singing, her mind alight with possibilities... just a little more.

Then something finally snapped... and shattered. She opened her eyes, and the barrier was cracked. Barnes noticed it too, because he moved back to it straight away, not caring about the sizzling red magic everywhere. He put his bionic hand on the crack, colourful spots of light on the metal plates. Then he pulled his fist back and hit the barrier, and it shattered like glass.

Wanda stepped back, dropping her arms, breathing loudly... then she noticed that the cracks just kept going, running in every direction over onto the cave wall, spreading everywhere... then the stone started breaking apart. It didn’t look like stone anymore... it looked like fragile porcelain.

She ran to Barnes. The hole was much larger now and it just kept widening. She stepped over onto the yellow grass without hesitation.

‘Something’s happening, we need to go,’ she said as she grabbed his arm.

Barnes just kept staring and Wanda had to turn around to look again. Everything was breaking apart and the cave was slowly replaced by this dead land, yellow grass where was only grey stones before, a purple sky instead of a mossy cave ceiling.

‘Oh, we shouldn’t have done that,’ Barnes said.

Not the time.

‘Come on,’ Wanda said again, tugging him to his feet. He was not very stable when he got up, he stayed upright for a moment, then swayed a little.

‘Shit, are you badly hurt?’ she asked, slipping under his arm to steady him. Barnes took a deep breath, probably bracing himself against whatever pain he felt.

‘Just give me a minute,’ he said.

‘We probably need to hurry,’ she insisted.

‘I don’t think it matters,’ he said, staring at where the last of the cave vanished from around them. Wanda was forced to just watch as that world fell apart, shattered like glass, leaving them standing on an empty yellow field and a dark purple sky.

She cursed in Sokovian... hard.

But she only allowed herself to be shocked for a few moments, then she jumped into action again.

‘Where do we go?’ she asked.

‘I have no idea,’ Barnes responded, he felt incredibly tense next to her.

‘Can you even walk?’ she asked. ‘Who were you fighting?’

‘Demons... a whole lot of them,’ he said. He started walking, and he managed a fairly good pace with Wanda supporting his weight a little. She wondered how he was still alive, if he fought on his own. Of course, she should probably not underestimate him. She knew all the incredible things Cap was capable of too.

‘I saw Chthon, this is his world,’ Barnes said next.

‘Shit,’ Wanda hissed again. ‘So how am I here now... I really thought I busted you out.’

‘Goddamn magic is never that simple,’ Barnes grumbled, biting back a pained hiss.

‘Okay, we figure it out,’ Wanda nodded to herself. ‘But just a fair warning, if demons start attacking us, I’m going to need my hands.’

She could do a few things with one hand, but it was better if she could use both.

‘If we get attacked by demons just drop me and run,’ he said.

‘The hell I will, I don’t run from fights,’ she said in return. Barnes looked like he wanted to argue, then he just huffed and shook his head.

‘Suit yourself,’ he said.

‘Do you know why they grabbed you?’ Wanda asked, turning her head constantly, wary of an attack. It was almost nice to be out of the dark cave, to actually see what was around her, but this whole landscape just unsettled her.

Barnes was silent for a moment, then shook his head again.

‘Well, maybe you’re bait and I walked into a trap,’ Wanda said.

‘Yeah, probably,’ Barnes agreed.

She spotted some rocks in the distance, or a cliff, she wasn’t sure. It was at least a landmark, something better than the endless yellow. It might even give them some cover.

‘Should we go that way?’ she asked.

‘It’s not like there’s anywhere else to go.’

‘Right, okay, let’s go... and no macho shit, tell me if you need a break.’

Barnes actually huffed out a laugh.

‘You’ve got a very bossy streak for such a small woman.’ Oddly enough, it didn’t sound like he was making fun of her, so she answered in a light tone.

‘I can make things explode with my mind.’

Barnes chuckled again, but it sounded painful, despite the small smile on his face. He didn’t look like he was up for more talking, so Wanda let him concentrate on just walking.

* * *

The cliffs cast some strangely fluid shadows. It was like everything about this world, almost normal... but just a little off. The grass looked lush and healthy despite its colour, the sky was light and colourful with no sun or clouds in sight, and the wind that kept blowing her hair into her face had no actual temperature.

‘This is wrong, this whole place is wrong,’ she said. The lack of noise also bothered her. Normally, if you were walking on a field like this, you would be able to hear birds, bugs, and all kinds of other critters. There were only the sounds of their steps and their breathing.

‘Maybe that’s why the demons want to get out of here so much,’ Barnes said.

‘Hah, demonic immigration problem,’ she huffed out a laugh. ‘That’s almost funny.’

They walked in silence for a little bit longer... but Wanda couldn’t shake that feeling of wrongness.

‘Why have we not seen anyone?’ she asked. ‘The demons you fought, did you kill them all?’

‘I killed a lot,’ Barnes answered.

‘So why aren’t they chasing you?’

‘I don’t know,’ Barnes said again.

‘Not even a clue?’

‘You think I had time to ask questions? Some of those things are not much better than animals.’

Wanda sighed, her back was hurting a bit from Barnes’ weight on her, but she ignored the ache.

‘Can Loki find you?’ she asked then.

‘He didn’t yet,’ Barnes said.

‘Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait around for a rescue that might not come. So dig into your brain, think of what you know about all of this demonic and magical stuff, and give me some ideas.’

Barnes stayed silent for quite a few moments, but Wanda didn’t mind giving him some time to think.

‘If you could get in here, you should be able to get back out too,’ he said. ‘We just need to find the right spot.’

‘How?’

‘Beats me,’ Barnes said. So not helpful, and it was starting to become very frustrating. She needed more help than this.

She was just about to open her mouth to ask more questions when a deep rumbling thunder rang in the distance. She looked up at the sky, searching for clouds.

‘There,’ Barnes pointed at some dark storm clouds quite far from them.

‘I got used to thunder and lightning being good things, it meant Thor was around,’ she said. ‘I’m not sure it’s a good thing now.’

‘Wanna try going towards it?’

It sounded like the exact opposite of what they should do, but at the same time there was nowhere else to go either.

‘Might as well,’ she agreed.

There was a storm in the air as they moved closer and closer, and it was actually the first sign of real life in this strange world, no matter how destructive it seemed from afar. The wind picked up and it was actually cold now, a real wind, even the smell of the storm felt familiar, like it did not belong here. But she did not dare hope. To match the purple sky these clouds were not the usual stormy grey of Earth, but closer to a deep indigo. The lightning though, that was still brilliant white as it flashed again and again. She could almost taste electricity in the air.

‘If we’re attacked--’

‘You’ll do what you have to do, I’ll take care of myself,’ Barnes said.

There was another lightning strike and an ever louder thunder followed it. There was a small hill ahead of them, just a little slope that obscured whatever was happening ahead of them below the clouds.

‘Once we’re up there we will be easy to spot,’ Barnes told her.

‘I’m ready,’ Wanda answered straight away. Whatever was ahead, she could either handle it or not... and if not, she would still fight for as long as she could, there were no other options.

Then they finally reached the top of the tiny hill. And it was Thor, it had to be Thor, it couldn’t be anyone else. Wanda gathered magic around her hand and shoot a blast up into the sky, like a flare. It exploded into red sparks, flashing brightly.

‘What was that?’ Barnes asked.

‘If Thor’s here...’ Wanda started to explain, but the next moment a bright blue blur slammed into her, almost knocking both Wanda and Barnes off their feet.

Wanda didn’t tense, because she would always know these arms around her.

‘Pietro,’ she breathed in relief and felt as Barnes slipped away to give them more room to hug.

‘ _I was so afraid,_ ’ Pietro whispered, his voice thick with emotions. He didn’t bother with English.

‘ _It’s all okay now,_ ’ Wanda told him in return, squeezing tightly, then pulling back a little to look at him. ‘ _Are you all right?_ ’

‘ _I’m fine, you?_ ’

‘ _Not a scratch,_ ’ Wanda smiled at him. But then she couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder at the storm. ‘ _Is there a fight, do they need help?_ ’

‘ _I wouldn’t worry,_ ’ Pietro said easily. It was not too hard to believe him. The Avengers were a force to be reckoned with, even against the likes of demons.

She caught sight of Barnes trying to make his way down the hill on his own, unsteady on his feet.

‘ _Come on,_ ’ she told Pietro, giving his hands a final squeeze, then making her way back to Barnes. Pietro understood right away, and he was already on Barnes’ left by the time Wanda reached him.

‘I can walk,’ Barnes said firmly.

‘You can, but you shouldn’t,’ Wanda told him. ‘They’re not that far now, come on.’

She saw the bodies of demons long before they reached the others, there were N’Garai, but also a whole lot of other creatures Wanda had never seen before. Thor’s storm clouds were already dissipating, so Pietro was right about not worrying. She feared that the whole team got scattered, but it seemed like they found each other all right, and whatever battle they fought here, they were definitely victorious.

It didn’t take long for them to be spotted, and Wanda was not surprised at all when Steve shot out like a bullet, sprinting towards them. The twins let go of Barnes just a few moments before Steve arrived, wrapping himself around Barnes tightly. He was saying something, but it was too quiet for Wanda to hear, and she didn’t want to eavesdrop. She nodded her head towards the rest of their group and kept walking, Pietro followed her without a word. She was sure Steve and Barnes wouldn’t be far behind.

She caught as the last two demons were incinerated by Doctor Strange and Thor, the field bearing the marks of the battle all around them. Tony didn’t have his suit and Sam looked injured too, so she had about a hundred questions straight away about what happened. She made her way over to Tony, just to take a better look at him from up close.

Vision descended down from the sky as Wanda and Pietro got closer. He looked at her for a long moment, and then all concern vanished from his face once he saw she was unharmed.

Tony looked the worst out of everyone, well, maybe except for Barnes, but he was a super soldier and Tony was not. She was opening her mouth to ask what the hell happened to Tony...

‘Watch out!’ Natasha shouted. Wanda reacted without thought, her hands immediately blazing with red, spinning around to throw up a barrier.

She saw the flash of Strange’s magic as well, and only after that did she spot the man... demon... it had to be a demon, but he looked more like a half-melted clayman. Standing on the other side of her red shield. Whatever he shot at them was absorbed by Wanda’s barrier.

‘If you wanted to finish this, you shouldn’t have run!’ Strange yelled at the thing. The demon was engulfed in smoke, his rough skin barely visible through it all.

‘It got you all here,’ the demon responded. ‘Right where we wanted you to be.’

Wanda expected a horde of demons to show up at any moment now, but so far nothing. She felt tired, they were tossed into one fight after the other, and her powers were not always easy on her body after a while. But they were far from done.

‘Stay together,’ Natasha instructed quietly. Obviously expecting to be attacked too. Steve and Barnes were a little further away, but they didn’t run towards them just yet. They were just standing there watching this demon-man, probably waiting for the right moment to move.

‘You never should have tried to stand in our way,’ the demon said next.

‘Oh, enough of your yammering,’ Loki scoffed angrily, marching forward towards the demon. Wanda dropped her shield to let him pass.

‘You don’t have the power to defeat me,’ the man taunted. ‘I am much stronger in this world than I ever was on Earth!’

‘Chthon gives you one gift and suddenly you think you’re all-powerful,’ Loki said in return. ‘Only mortals who never knew real power would be so arrogant... and stupid.’

More smoke gathered around the demon, but it started to look less like smoke and more like something fluid and tangible, and dangerous.

‘Arrogant? Says the alien who thinks himself a god,’ the demon-man scoffed.

Loki didn’t answer this time as magic gathered around him. First it was bright gold light then it quickly turning into yellow and orange flames. Wanda wasn’t sure how she knew that there was something different about Loki’s magic, but she could feel it. She was in his presence enough times now to recognise what it felt like on her skin, and this was strange. Even the flames, that were sort of a novelty to begin with, shifted into something unfamiliar. Then with a flick of Loki’s hand new flames erupted from the ground below the demon, making him jump aside in alarm.

‘Tony’s power... how did you... how--’

‘A real sorcerer learns from books quite easily,’ Loki answered, his tone both playful and very cruel. He also didn’t wait for the man to react, he let the flames climb higher as they expanded and moved, following the demon.

Strange moved as well, he made some gesture with his hands, then lifted his arms. A golden ring appeared behind the demon, then another above him, then one next to him. It trapped him in, even if only for a moment, but a moment was all Loki needed, shifting the flames to engulf the demon immediately. There was not even a sound, no scream of pain, just a sickly-grey cloud of smoke that burnt up into nothing. Then Strange’s golden barriers vanished, and so did the flames, leaving nothing but ashes.

‘You play a very dangerous game,’ Strange said right away, turning to look at Loki. ‘Chthon’s magic is a powerful tool, but it links you to him.’

‘A tool, exactly,’ Loki said. ‘A sword is neither virtuous nor wicked, it matters not who the bladesmith was.’

‘Wait, you’re using Chthon’s magic?’ Natasha asked. ‘Doesn’t that make you a Darkholder?’

‘No,’ Loki answered firmly.

‘A Darkholder’s sole source of power is the page they possess,’ Strange elaborated. ‘If they no longer have the page, they can no longer use its power, no matter how many times they might’ve read it or memorized it.’

‘Loki destroyed the pages,’ Thor added. ‘We’ve all seen it... but brother, if it’s this dangerous...’

‘You might find it hard to believe, Thor, but I know exactly what I’m doing.’

‘Learning from the Darkhold was still not a wise thing to do,’ Leah spoke up, giving Loki a look. Her face looked much worse than before, the cracks wide and deep, showing more of the darkness beneath.

‘Ah, but knowledge is power, as they say, in the very literal sense when it comes to tomes of magic,’ Loki told her.

‘I’m done arguing about this with you,’ Leah answered briskly.

‘Okay, this whole magic talk is so not a priority right now,’ Tony interrupted. ‘What are we going to do now? Are there more demons lurking around?’ he asked, looking pale and a little shaky.

‘Man, you gotta sit down,’ Sam told him, holding onto his arm to help him get down on the yellow grass.

‘What happened to you?’ Wanda asked as she knelt down too and gingerly put an arm around Tony’s back.

‘Darkholder, it’s fine,’ Tony answered easily. ‘Good to see you in one piece.’

Wanda gave him a smile, then looked around at the rest of them, now that she could. ‘How did you all get here anyway?’

‘We didn’t,’ Natasha answered. ‘Everything just… changed around us.’

‘Yeah, like that whole nightmare cave was made of glass,’ Sam added.

‘We believe that Chthon pulled us over into this world somehow,’ Strange said.

Except that’s how Wanda got over here, and it happened right after she cracked that barrier. Oh no, no, no…

‘No, I might… I might have caused it… some of it.’

‘What do you mean you might have caused it?’ Leah asked.

‘I found Barnes, but he was trapped here, I saw him… and I though… I just tried to get him out, but when that barrier broke everything changed around us. Just like you said… like glass.’

Heavy silence followed her words.

‘I didn’t think…’

‘We’ll just have to find a way back,’ Barnes said from behind her. He had an arm around Steve’s shoulder, while Steve steadied him with an arm around his waist. He certainly handled his weight better than Wanda did.

‘This might’ve been Chthon’s plan all along,’ Leah told him. ‘If this is truly his world…’

‘It is, I’ve seen it before,’ Steve said.

‘Then this is a trap,’ Leah said plainly.

God, this was bad, this was so bad.

‘I’m sorry, I…’

‘It was not your fault, you couldn’t have known,’ Doctor Strange said right away. ‘We’ll find a way back.’

‘And Bucky would be trapped here alone if it wasn’t for you, so at least we’re all back together,’ Steve said.

‘Loki, you’re silent,’ Thor said. ‘What do you think?’

‘This is his world… why are we still alive?’ Loki asked. ‘He could’ve shown up himself… yet we were merely ambushed by these beasts, then DeGuzman on his own. It was certainly not a great enough force to defeat all of us, that much is obvious. So what are we really here for?’

‘Well, if he wants us here, then maybe let’s get the hell out,’ Barnes said, still leaning on Steve.

‘So how exactly can we get out?’ Clint asked, spreading his arms. ‘Maybe you didn’t look around yet. There’s literally nothing here.’

Wanda wasn’t the only one to look at Strange or Loki. Then Loki looked at Strange, and Strange looked back… and Wanda knew straight away just from that small exchange that they were not going to be able to get out that easily.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Víla: Supernatural beings in Slavic folklore, female fairy-like spirits with power over wind, often called “the witch of the wood”. Obviously, the demon just reminds Wanda of the mythology creature, the thing in the story is just a demon.
> 
> p.s. Sorry for the delay, Civil War came out... it took over my life, my heart. I was emotionally compromised, I couldn't write...


	55. Chapter 55

Steve decided that they had to treat this situation as if they were stuck behind enemy lines in a war zone while Loki and Strange discussed ( _argued_ ) how they could go back to Earth. There was no point wandering around on this empty land, of course, especially with Tony and Bucky as injured as they were. They all needed to rest, because god knew they’ve been all walking and fighting non-stop since they left the tower. If there ever was a time to just sit down to catch their breaths a little, this was it.

Steve tried to pay attention to Loki and Strange, but after a while the magical terms started flying over his head, so he tried to take a good look at everyone else instead, to spot any injuries he might’ve missed, or anything else that might be important. Tony looked tired, but determined, while Sam just seemed fed up with everything. He also sat down on the ground next to Tony, Wanda and Pietro instead of sitting with Steve and Bucky. Maybe he was mad about the stunt Steve pulled with Loki. Steve wouldn’t blame him if he were, he really wouldn’t. He’s not been a very reliable friend lately. He knew Sam understood why Bucky had to be a priority right now, but there was a limit to everything. Or maybe it was accidental that Sam happened to sit down over there, and Steve was just over-analysing it.

Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had things to make up for. Maybe he was just tired, maybe it was just something about this world around them and the threat of Chthon looming over their heads, but a weight settled over Steve’s heart unpleasantly.

‘No, we can’t use the stones yet,’ Leah said loudly. It was the first time Steve heard her voice since Strange and Loki started talking.

‘But if what you said is true, and they anchor us to Earth...’ Strange started saying, only to be cut off be Leah again.

‘Yes, but we cannot reach out to their power, unless our fight is truly done,’ she said.

‘You are not giving me enough information with answers like that,’ Strange said. ‘That has to stop, now.’

‘The Darkholders are dead, if we just get out, we _are_ done, right?’ Bucky spoke up.

‘Everything changed, I don’t know!’ Leah answered. She sounded more distraught than Steve thought was possible for someone so subdued.

‘But the Darkholders are _dead_ ,’ Bucky repeated, scowling darkly. ‘That was my end of the deal, they’re dead. That’s all we needed to do, you told me a million fucking times!’

He moved like he wanted to stand up, so Steve put a hand on his shoulder to keep him still. He didn’t look like he should get back on his feet yet. Bucky ignored him and got up anyway.

‘Who else would free Chthon?’ Loki asked, looking at Leah. ‘Who else could pose an actual threat? Maybe we do need to use to stones.’

‘You are being reckless again,’ Leah said firmly.

‘We did what we came here to do, did we not?’ Strange asked. ‘But the more we wait the more time Chthon will have to do whatever he planned when he dragged us over here. We need to leave this place.’

‘If we’re going to vote, I’m voting for leaving,’ Tony spoke up, lifting his hand up. ‘You know, before the next horde of demons show up to rip us apart into tiny bloody pieces.’

‘We’re easy targets here,’ Clint added. ‘We’re just waiting to be ambushed.’

‘I must agree as well,’ Thor added. ‘This is a dangerous land, so we must leave at once if we can.’

‘Leah, even if Chthon still has some demons working on this, none of them will be able to do the things the Darkholders did on Earth. Could any of those demons even appear on Earth?’ Bucky added, staring at the girl intently.

‘No demon that is powerful enough manifested on Earth,’ Strange said. ‘You can very much believe me on that.’

 ‘If we are sitting in a trap, then we have to try something,’ Steve said, looking at Leah too, then he glanced at Loki. ‘What else is there to do?’

‘Our options are indeed limited in this world,’ Loki agreed.

‘This is a no-brainer,’ Bucky said.

‘Just... give me a little time to think,’ Leah said. ‘Chthon--’

‘Chthon planned something, yeah, that’s goddamn obvious, that’s why we need to get the hell out of here now,’ Bucky insisted.

Leah narrowed her eyes at him this time.

‘I see I can no longer count on you to be a voice of reason,’ she said. ‘Fine. Don’t think, run headlong into the unknown, what do I know?’

‘I think we need to get back to Earth now, that’s not so fucking unreasonable,’ Bucky argued.

‘It is, if we don’t consider what Chthon’s plan is,’ Natasha interrupted. Bucky just looked at her and said nothing, while Natasha turned to Leah. ‘You know more about all of this than any of us,’ she said. ‘So if you think we need to think about our next move carefully, then maybe we should.’

‘Really?’ Tony questioned, looking at Natasha in surprise. To be fair, Steve understood his shock. He was pretty sure none of them really trusted Leah aside from Loki.

‘The way we got here, it’s suspicious,’ Natasha said, looking up at the sky. ‘Call it gut instinct, but something’s not adding up. We can’t afford mistakes... and we could use the rest anyway.’

There was a bit of silence after her words, then Strange sighed loudly.

‘Fine, I’ll set up some wards then to protect us.’

And that seemed to be the end of the discussion for now. Steve glanced at Bucky and he seemed... angry.

‘Buck, you okay?’ he asked quietly.

‘Fine,’ Bucky responded curtly, still looking at Leah.

‘Sit back down, will ya?’ Steve prompted. ‘You’re still injured.’

Bucky looked reluctant as he lowered himself back down on the yellow grass, and Steve got it, he really did, the urge to keep going despite the pain. Maybe in Bucky’s case it also had something to do with his past, and Hydra. He couldn’t help but remember how relentlessly the Winter Soldier fought not caring about any wounds. God knew how long it took Hydra to make Bucky ignore all pain and injuries, what horrors they put him through to make him capable of it. The thought was intrusive and unwelcome, but it also made Steve want to wrap his arms around Bucky. So he sat down next to him, as close as he could, to be shoulder-to-shoulder.

Bucky didn’t lean into him, didn’t even look at him, and he seemed too tense for the position he was sitting in.

‘How bad are your injuries?’ Steve asked. ‘And no bullshit, I need to know.’

‘I’m fine,’ Bucky repeated.

‘You don’t act like you’re fine, so what’s going on?’

‘Nothing, I just want to be done with this,’ Bucky said.

Okay yeah, fair enough.

‘We’ll get out of here and then it’s done,’ Steve reminded him, trying to make his voice light and encouraging. Maybe Bucky was just tired. He’s been right in the middle of all this much longer than the rest of them.

Steve fell silent when Loki walked up to them and lowered himself into a crouch in front of Bucky. He glanced at Steve before opening his mouth, but it seemed like he didn’t mind that he couldn’t speak with Bucky in private. He probably knew that Steve was not going to leave Bucky’s side, unless he really had to.

‘Lingering makes me uneasy, but there is merit to Leah’s words,’ Loki said.

‘How long?’ Bucky asked.

‘She will attempt to see our possible paths,’ Loki said. ‘She won’t be able to give us more than some vague ideas, but that should be enough.’

‘Can she actually see the future?’ Steve couldn’t help but ask.

‘No, it’s more like possibilities, causes and effects,’ Loki clarified. ‘It’s a unique spell.’

‘But you didn’t want to wait for her to do it,’ Steve said, wondering why.

‘Because I’m convinced we will end up doing the exact same thing either way,’ Loki shrugged languidly. ‘I see only one way out, as does Doctor Strange, so no matter what she can find out, I doubt it’ll change much.’

‘And if we’re ambushed?’ Steve asked.

‘We’ll fight,’ Loki said.

‘Obviously,’ Steve sighed. ‘I just don’t want to miss our chance to get out. Maybe we should be quick.’

‘Or maybe we have to wait and bide or time, both is equally likely.’

‘Chthon really has the upper hand here,’ Steve concluded unhappily.

‘Yes, I’m afraid so,’ Loki gave a nod, then he looked over to Bucky again. ‘What happened after they’ve taken you?’ he asked.

‘I ended up here,’ Bucky said. ‘It happened in a blink. Then I was surrounded by demons, a mismatched group like this one just now, only smaller.’

‘So you fought them,’ Loki prompted.

‘Killed a bunch, and ran.’

‘And then nothing?’ Loki asked.

‘Nothing until Wanda showed up,’ Bucky nodded. ‘I heard noises in the distance, but I didn’t stick to one place for long. It would have been stupid to look for trouble when I was on my own.’

‘It’s weird that they did this, isn’t it?’ Steve asked. ‘I mean, in the end, it got us all here, but was that all he wanted?’

‘I wouldn’t know,’ Loki said, still looking at Bucky, and his tense face. ‘Are you bleeding?’ he asked then. ‘Let me seal the wounds,’ he said, reaching out for Bucky’s flesh arm. Bucky pulled his arm back, out of Loki’s reach. Loki stopped, his hand hovering in the air.

‘I’m fine,’ Bucky said. Loki gave him an odd look as he dropped his hand, and Steve had to turn to stare at Bucky’s profile too, because this was more than just him being tired and fed up. Something else was wrong.

All this time, Bucky never seemed reluctant to accept Loki’s help, even if the sight alone was enough to freak Steve out just a little while ago. When Arcade shot him, and Gor-Tok trashed his bionic arm, he was cursing up a storm, but he never once pulled away from Loki.

It was not easy for Steve to accept this partnership between them, because Bucky had to rely on Loki too much. But truth be told, it helped Steve lower his guard around Loki a bit, because if Bucky could trust him even a little... well, Steve couldn’t ignore that. And Loki actually made sure Bucky stayed in one piece through all of this, which was something Steve could ignore even less.

 ‘Suit yourself,’ Loki said, his odd look vanishing in a moment, his face smoothing out into something perfectly neutral. ‘Want to know how we defeated the Darkholders then? You’ve missed some of our triumphant victories.’

‘I don’t really care to be honest,’ Bucky said. ‘They’re dead, that’s what really matters.’

‘Why, yes, of course,’ Loki said. ‘But I think you’d be pleased to hear how excellently your Captain and I cooperated to get it done.’

“Pleased” was not the word Steve would use, because he was pretty damn sure Bucky was going to be anything but. He was really not looking forward to that, and they had better things to do anyway.

‘Do we really have to talk about this now?’ Steve asked.

‘Yes,’ Loki said, glancing at Steve again. ‘I really think we do.’

There was some secondary meaning to his words that Steve wasn’t able to catch, but he just knew it had to be there.

‘Okay, why is that?’ Bucky asked, sounding a little suspicious now.

‘I anticipated a trap, so the Captain and I traded places. I took on his form and re-shaped his to match mine. And once the Darkholders thought me trapped, they let down their guards, and launched their attack. It was easy to kill them once they came out of hiding.’

Steve waited in silence for Bucky’s reaction, all his reasons for agreeing to Loki’s plan at the tip of his tongue. It probably wouldn’t make Bucky any less angry.

‘Figures they’d fall for that,’ Bucky said with a little huff.

No, that… was wrong. Sure, Bucky wasn’t always irrationally mad about risky plans Steve agreed to, but still. He couldn’t put a finger on it right away, because the words and the tone were normal, but Steve turned to look at Loki again with a frown. It was still strange to look to him for some sort of confirmation, but in the end, Loki was the only one who knew Bucky even remotely beside Steve. And Steve had to know whether or not he was the only one to find that answer wrong.

‘Indeed,’ Loki said smoothly. ‘Trickery does not seem to be their strong suit.’

He glanced at Steve again, and it was obvious that he was about to do something. Steve froze for a moment, unsure whether he should let him or try and stop him. But he was too slow either way.

Loki basically leaped forward, his speed inhuman, one hand alight with magic. Bucky dropped back to avoid his grasp and kicked out with a force that sent Loki flying. The Avengers scrambled to their feet as Loki’s magic lit up like wildfire mid-air.

Warm metal wrapped around Steve’s throat and then he was flying backwards in the air, his feet not even touching the ground. It all happened so quickly that he could barely keep track of it, but he saw Loki landing on his feet, and he saw Wanda’s magic lighting up. Steve found the ground again a moment later, but he was off balance, metal still wrapped around his neck like a vice. Not much air was getting in his lungs.

Shit, he should’ve noticed much sooner, how did he not notice?

Then the ground started to shake under his feet.

‘Look out!’ Thor shouted as all-too familiar animalistic snarls rang in the air all around them. The N’Garai didn’t crawl out from cracks in the ground like they always did on Earth, they simply materialised out of dust and wind and yellow grass, ready to strike in a blink of an eye.

They didn’t attack though. They bared their teeth and dug their claws in the dirt, circling them menacingly, their chests rumbling loudly. Steve struggled to look around, but he couldn’t move. He tried to dig in his heels to get away from the tight hold, tried bend his knees to twist around, and then he even went as far as hitting the guy with his elbow as hard as he could, but he just wouldn’t budge an inch. Whoever he was, he was much stronger than Bucky could ever be. Steve suddenly felt like he was a skinny boy again with bad lungs.

For a moment or two there were only the growls of the N’Garai, nobody else moved or spoke a word. Steve could also hear his blood rushing in his ears, his pulse beating too heavily in his neck.

‘Clever... what gave me away?’ asked the man who couldn’t possibly be Bucky.

Loki straightened up, the fire vanishing from around him, and he took a few steps closer, not even looking at the N’Garai.

‘Too many things to count,’ he answered.

His eyes, Steve though, the slightly off tilt of his smile, his calm, his anger… Steve should’ve noticed much sooner. Bucky wasn’t just tired and hurt, he wasn’t just remembering the horrors Hydra did to him… shit.

‘Who are you?’ Loki asked, taking a step closer again. The man didn’t answer at first, but he turned his head, probably to look at The Avengers, who were all ready to strike. Clint’s bow was drawn back, Natasha had her guns in her hands, and Thor stared at them with a whole storm in his eyes,  his fingers tight around the handle of his hammer, while Wanda’s hands were still alight with red. Most of them kept their eyes on the N’Garai though, glancing at Steve every few moments.

‘Oh, careful, you don’t want to do something you’ll regret,’ the man warned calmly.

‘Where is he?’ Steve asked, gritting the words out despite the weight on his throat.

‘Right here, don’t worry, I’m not some cheap double,’ the man responded.

Steve’s brain scrambled to understand what the hell that meant, when Strange came into view, closer than Loki, but still keeping his distance.

‘He’s possessed,’ he said.

Steve shut his eyes for a moment, trying to ignore the almost nausea those words caused in his stomach. Bucky was here then, he was right here, but not in control… his body not his own. Steve hoped he couldn’t hear and see any of this, but maybe that wouldn’t make a difference to Bucky in the end. This was a nightmare one way or another.

Two of the N’Garai shifted to move closer to Steve and Bucky, growling deeply in warning, guarding their sides. Being this close to the beasts made Steve tense up all over again. He could feel Bucky’s breath on the side of his face, but it wasn’t Bucky. Maybe he could try and kick him in the knee, break something, but he hesitated. He didn’t want to do that, not unless he had no other choice.

‘You know you’ll regret this,’ Loki said.

‘Don’t treat me like I’m some Darkholder,’ the demon said. ‘You should know better.’

‘I’ve killed demons before,’ Loki answered straight away.

‘And so have I,’ added Strange.

‘I know,’ the demon said again. ‘It was all inevitable. Belasco was reckless even as a human, and the Whisperer had always been greedy. Children… trying to prove their worth to a Master who couldn’t care less about them.’

‘You must hold yourself in high regard, if you call the likes of the Whisperer children,’ Doctor Strange said.

‘I call them children, because they were young,’ the demon said. ‘And I’ve been around for a very long time... Careful, Loki, don’t think I can’t sense what you are up to.’

All of the N’Garai growled again in answer to the demon’s words, some of them digging their claws deeper into the ground, shifting their weight, ready to attack. Loki just narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say a word. Steve had no idea what he was actually doing, because there was no light or flames around him anymore.

‘I’ll give you a hint to who I am,’ the demon said. ‘I ruled your world once, your sorcerers offered up soul after soul to gain my favour. They bloodied their swords on innocents hoping to please me.’

‘Kierrok,’ Leah said. The demon immediately turned his attention on her. ‘Son of Chthon, Master of the N’Garai.’

‘You’re a smart one… but what exactly are you, I wonder… you are strange, even by my standards.’

‘I thought you said we didn’t have to worry about Kierrok,’ Natasha remarked.

‘We didn’t have to worry about him on Midgard,’ Leah answered. ‘What do you want?’

‘I’m sure you have a few ideas,’ Kierrok answered lightly.

‘You haven’t tried any of them yet,’ Leah said.

‘I have not, have I?’

He didn’t elaborate, but he turned sharply a moment later, moving Steve as well, the bionic arm still unmovable around his neck.

‘Loki, for someone so sharp, you are being very slow,’ he said. ‘I have two souls in my grasp, Gaea’s Chosen, and this one too,’ he shook Steve a bit, pulling him closer. God, this was infuriating, being moved around like a ragdoll. ‘So do continue, if you’d like to watch me rip them apart. The souls, of course, this body I will probably keep for the time being.’

‘You must stop, Brother, whatever it is you are trying to do,’ Thor said.

‘Do you want me to count down?’ Kierrok asked. He felt much warmer than normal where he was pressed close to Steve. A moment ticked by in silence, then Steve felt an odd pressure behind his eyes and his vision went black. He didn’t lose consciousness, he could still feel the warm metal around his neck, the ground beneath his feet, but his eyes and his brain seemed to go offline, like a wire was cut somewhere. He completely lost touch with his body. He sucked in a harsh breath, then another, and he probably struggled to get away again, but as quickly as it happened it was over.

Steve’s chest felt a little too tight as he got his breath under control again. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision, then looked around to see if anything changed while his eyesight was gone. Thor and Vision were much closer than before and some of N’Garai were snarling at them viciously, warning them from moving again. Loki had his hands up, palms visible, an obvious sign of surrender, even if just for the moment.

‘There, that wasn’t so hard,’ Kierrok said.

‘Bucky, if you can hear me--’ Steve said.

‘Let’s not do this,’ Kierrok cut him off. ‘Trust me, there’s no point.’

‘It’s not your fault, okay?’ Steve continued, ignoring him. He had no idea whether Bucky was aware of any of this, but if he was, he needed to hear this. ‘Whatever happens, it’s not your fault, Buck.’

Kierrok pressed his head to Steve’s.

‘How sweet,’ he said. Steve knocked his head into his with force, immediately furious about the gentle mocking tone. Not that it hurt either of them too much, but it was kinda a matter of principle.

‘Don’t play games, Kierrok,’ Strange said. ‘You want something or you wouldn’t be keeping your beasts away.’

Kierrok was silent again for a moment, probably contemplating what he wanted to say. Then the N’Garai all fell quiet, just before he spoke again.

‘I have a deal for you, Trickster,’ he said.

‘Of course you do. Demons always have a deal to make,’ Strange said in return.

‘You’re rather hostile for someone who only wants to talk and bargain,’ Loki said.

‘To be fair, you attacked me first,’ Kierrok said.

‘You were trying to fool me,’ Loki told him.

‘You stole Barnes’ body,’ Wanda interrupted darkly, her hands still alight with magic. Steve knew she would’ve attacked by now if the demon were in front of them in his own flesh. Her lack of tolerance for those who were obviously in the wrong made Steve want to give her a nod of approval, but he couldn’t really do that right now. He would just have to tell her later.

‘All right,’ Kierrok sighed. The N’Garai moved at once, all of them backing away from the Avengers silently. Most of them moved behind Kierrok and Steve. They were still gigantic, claws and horns sharp and dangerous, but their demeanour turned from savage to mellow, and it was a very stark change. Steve even saw one of them lie down on its stomach on the yellow grass.

‘Better?’ Kierrok asked.

‘Drop him,’ Loki said. Steve assumed Loki meant him, and Kierrok seemed to consider the request for a long moment. Then the metal arm finally unwrapped from around Steve’s throat and he was shoved forward abruptly.

Steve turned on his heel to face the demon in Bucky’s body. He expected him to look exactly the same maybe, because it was still Bucky, so he was shocked silent when he finally looked at his face. He assumed that he was seeing some of Kierrok’s true face through Bucky’s skin, because he saw red veins all around his eyes and down on his neck, while his irises were deep yellow.

‘I can be reasonable,’ Kierrok said.

‘What do you want?’ Loki asked.

‘You cannot be seriously considering this,’ Natasha said, her eyes still mostly on the N’Garai, but glancing at Kierrok again and again.

‘He still has a hostage,’ Vision said calmly, his attention completely on the demon.

‘What do you want?’ Loki repeated.

‘I want you to do what you planned to do,’ Kierrok said. ‘Find your way back to your world.’

‘That’s the big plan?’ Tony interrupted incredulously. ‘What? We make a way home and Chthon catches a ride with us?’

Kierrok actually turned to look at him.

‘No,’ he said. ‘Just me.’

‘So you can open a doorway from the other side?’ Leah questioned. ‘You’d just finish what the Darkholders started.’

‘I don’t want to finish it,’ Kierrok said. ‘I just want to leave this place.’ He turned his attention back on Loki. ‘Take me out of here, just me, not him. Once I’m out, I’ll make sure the that door stays shut, permanently.’

‘Why would I ever believe you?’ Loki asked.

‘I’ll make an oath, a contract, whatever you want,’ Kierrok said. ‘You know I couldn’t back out of that.’

‘You’d turn on your creator?’ Leah asked.

‘I just want to be rid of my chains,’ Kierrok said, not even looking away from Loki. ‘Come on, it’s a good deal, you know it!’

‘He just said he ruled the world or something,’ Clint said. ‘Souls, blood of innocents, and all kinds of friendly things like that. I might be deaf, but even I got that much.’

‘Yeah, I absolutely heard that too,’ Pietro nodded at Clint.

Kierrok made a frustrated noise, looking up at the purple sky like he was expecting something to strike him down from above. All the N’Garai made distressed noises in return, trying to get closer to him like bizarre overgrown pets.

‘I ruled, because it’s what I’ve been made to do. I spread death and suffering, because it was the purpose I’ve been given, and I had no purpose of my own. It was not my will, because I had no will. I came to be with all that power at my fingertips, his intent in a new form... I did what he created me for... but that was a very long time ago, my creation.’

He actually reached out to one of the N’Garai. The demon beast pushed at his hand, seeking out more of his touch, almost... affectionate.

‘I know what I am now, who I am,’ Kierrok said. ‘And I want to be free of this place... take me out, you’ll have your friend back, and you’ll probably never see me again.’

‘It is certainly something to consider,’ Vision said quietly. ‘If we can assure that he cannot betray us.’

‘I think I have a concussion,’ Sam said. ‘But I think I just heard Vision say that we should make a deal with a demon.’

 ‘We have limited options, as we established,’ Vision said.

‘He tried to trick us,’ Wanda added. ‘He wanted to sneak back with us in secret.’

‘Of course, why pay for something if I can get it for free?’ Kierrok said. He was obviously not even a least bit sorry about what he did to Bucky. Steve wanted to grab his shield and hurl it at his head. It probably wouldn’t hurt him, or it would only hurt Bucky, so Steve settled for glaring at him.

‘You found me out, so now I’m willing to bargain for what I want,’ he said.

‘He’s a demon,’ Strange said, as if to remind them all.

‘That may be, but you cannot believe in inherent evil,’ Vision said. ‘Beliefs should never override logic.’

‘I’m talking from experience,’ Strange said. ‘You have not dealt with demons like I have.’

‘You’ve dealt with other demons, not me,’ Kierrok said. ‘It’s not exactly a hive mind, most of them were not even my kin.’

Strange obviously couldn’t contradict him, so he didn’t say anything to that.

‘We don’t have much time, you probably know that, so decide before it’s too late,’ Kierrok added.

‘Let Bucky go,’ Steve demanded, but Kierrok just shook his head.

‘Not an option. Just on Earth, no sooner than that.’

Steve really wanted to hurt something right about now, preferably Kierrok. He could only hope that Bucky was not suffering right now, that this caused him no pain beyond the fact that he lost control of his own body once more.

‘An oath,’ Loki said quietly.

‘You can’t do this!’ Strange exclaimed right away, his cape swirling as he turned to face Loki fully.

‘Leah?’ Loki asked. The girl stared at the demon, her face stone hard, but thoughtful.

‘An oath,’ she said as well, agreeing.

‘Okay, what now, are we gonna let him do this?’ Clint asked. ‘Are we really gonna let him do this?’

‘We cannot allow him to come back to Earth,’ Strange warned.

‘Then tell me, what else is there to do?’ Loki asked, suddenly angry, spitting his words out at Strange. ‘Give me all your grand ideas and strategies, I will listen very intently.’

‘Strange, can you take us out of here?’ Natasha asked.

‘It’s... this world is unknown to me, to everyone, there was no way to prepare, I need time,’ Strange said.

‘You urged us to leave, but now you want more time,’ Leah said.

‘Well, this changes things, doesn’t it?’ Strange asked, gesturing at Kierrok and all his N’Garai.

‘Can you get him out of Barnes?’ Sam asked.

‘Oh yes, tell them, oh great Sorcerer Supreme, can you  touch someone like me, so far away from your Sanctum, your allies, and all your magical artefacts?’

‘We can always try,’ Strange said, not elaborating. Steve already knew that Kierrok was not some average demon, but the look on Strange’s face just confirmed it.

‘That is not good enough,’ Loki told him in return.

‘Brother, we must be sure,’ Thor said. ‘Very sure.’

‘I want a bit more than Loki being sure,’ Tony said. ‘I mean, is this the end of the world, that we let him make decisions?’

‘Do you have a better idea, Stark?’ Loki asked, his anger now only just shimmering on the surface. ‘Any technological wonder that will take us away from this world Chthon has created?’

‘You know damn well I don’t,’ Tony scowled at him.

‘There is not anyone else left to free him, if I don’t do it,’ Kierrok said. ‘You know this. You thinned the herd, as did others before you, and now you can finish it.’

‘If one of Chthon’s own decided to... desert, we can take advantage of that,’ Vision said. ‘All wars have their fair share of defectors.’

‘I hate it when you make sense, dammit,’ Clint murmured quietly.

Steve had a feeling Vision deliberately put this in military terms, because that resonated best with most of them. He did make sense in a way, there were always defectors. Of course, trusting defectors was a risky thing to do.

‘Will that oath bind him?’ Natasha asked. ‘Does that actually work all the time?’

Strange didn’t look happy about answering that question. ‘Is it, if worded right, but I still think this is a stupid thing to do.’

‘Steve, what do you think?’ Sam asked.

Steve stared at the yellow eyes that should’ve been steel blue, the veins staining Bucky’s skin... and there was only one thing he could say.

‘I’m not... I’m not impartial,’ he said, turning to look at the others. ‘You know I’m not.’

He wanted to say that he could be rational about this, but he never was when it came to Bucky, so he shouldn’t pretend. His friends deserved honesty, and the truth was that Steve was willing to take the risk to get this demon out of Bucky. He was also very sure that if they didn’t agree, they wouldn’t be able to make him leave without a fight. If they could make him leave at all. Steve didn’t even know whether Loki or Strange would be able to force the demon out of Bucky’s body. Exorcise him maybe? Steve couldn’t exactly rely on his meagre 20th century horror film knowledge on this one, but Strange’s earlier answer wasn’t very encouraging.

‘An oath, Kierrok,’ Loki repeated after a moment of silence where nobody protested.

‘I swear an oath on my name, Kierrok the Damned, Son of Chthon, that if you grant me safe passage to Earth I will not make way for my Creator. I shall not aid him, his creations, his followers, or anyone that aims to free him as long as I live. And upon my freedom I will leave this body and return Gaea’s Chosen, James Barnes, to you. Unharmed.’

He looked at Loki expectantly, waiting.

‘Your oath is accepted, Kierrok,’ Loki said. A light shone around Kierrok’s hand, Bucky’s flesh hand, and then its twin lit up around Loki’s. It didn’t leave a marked when it dimmed, but Steve was sure it was only invisible to his eyes.

‘Leah, the stones,’ Loki prompted, and Steve really hoped this was not yet another mistake, because they already made way too many of those. Free one demon just to keep a bigger one locked up... of course, sometimes the best they could do was to pick the lesser evil. Steve thought they already did that when they decided to team up with Loki. Funny how much easier and less dangerous that decision seemed to be now.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> There is an amazing piece of fanart right this way >> [Not Myself](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11857494) by [Kruk47](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kruk47/pseuds/Kruk47)
> 
> Here is long overdue trivia about some of the demons in this story. I wanted to do this sooner, but I kept forgetting.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Belasco of the Corrupted** (he was only mentioned in this story before Loki offed him) was a sorcerer in 13th Century Italy who used his knowledge of alchemy and the black arts to forge a pact with the Elder Gods, allowing them passage to our dimension, in return he was granted immortality and immense mystical power. [[Picture](http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/4/48/Kurt_Wagner_\(Earth-9997\).jpg/revision/latest?cb=20091107174707)]
> 
>  **The Whisperer** (killed off-screen, I keep doing this to demons) is red-skinned, green-eyed demon in the service of Chthon. It answers questions in exchange for human sacrifices. It is able to access any and all information to answer any question. (I don't even have a picture, it's such a minor character)
> 
>  **Kierrok the Damned** was created by Chthon and he is the master of the N'Garai who once ruled Earth millennia ago. He’s very 2D evil in the comics, so I decided to make him a bit more interesting. Oh and his real demonic form, it’s big. [[Picture](http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix2/kierrokxmen3.jpg)] [[Picture 2](http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix2/kierrokxmen1.jpg)]
> 
>  **The N’Garai** are a group of demons created by Chthon. They lived on Earth millions of years ago, having enslaved humanity but eventually left to live in another dimensional plane. They look a bit similar to xenomorphs, which didn't click for me right away for some strange reason. [[Picture](http://i.annihil.us/u/prod/marvel//universe3zx/images/9/9f/N'Garai.JPG)]
> 
>  **Chthon** , Demon of the Darkhold, the Great Shadow, an Elder God of Earth who was born billions of years ago. For a long time Chthon devoted itself to the study and manipulation of mystical forces, becoming Earth’s first master of black magic, even experimenting on fellow gods. Chthon was one of the Gods that degenerated from Godhood and turned demonic after millions of years of killing and consuming the life energies of a fellow Elder Gods. [[Picture](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/marvel-war-of-heroes/images/7/79/ElderGodChthon6.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150715231411)]


	56. Chapter 56

One of the N’Garai whined and Tony tensed up automatically. Then a second one started making noise too, a third, and soon all of them were making distressed sounds that were very different from the angry snarls they were used to hear from the beasts. Their closeness unnerved Tony either way, but this noise, oh it was awful.

‘What’s going on?’ Natasha asked, looking around. Almost all eyes landed on Kierrok right away, who tipped his head back to look up at the sky again. Tony couldn’t help but glance up too. The purple sky was swirling, turning black and dark blue. A storm without clouds or rain, just the colours whirling and shifting, like oil on water.

‘Out of everyone to betray me, Kierrok,’ Tony heard a female voice that was not really female at all, not with that unnatural rumble in it. They didn’t actually jump like startled birds, but everyone was immediately on alert as the N’Garai and Kierrok turned around to face the being that appeared. It took Tony a moment to get back to his feet again, and it hurt like hell, but he did it anyway. He risked looking away from the newcomer to check on his sole gauntlet to make sure it still worked, even if just barely.

He knew who the woman was – he paid attention and did his research – he knew it was the same woman they saw back in that cave on Earth. But actually it wouldn’t do them any good to think of her as Yelena Belova, because this was someone much worse than a rogue Black Widow agent. She also didn’t seem quite corporeal the way the rest of them were. It was hard to pinpoint what was wrong exactly, but Tony’s brain somehow knew that he was looking at something not real. No, this wasn’t her... this was Chthon, and the fact that he was here now meant they were all in deep shit.

‘Nothing happens in this world I don’t know about,’ Chthon said.

‘I don’t care,’ Kierrok said, standing tall, his N’Garai all moving closer to him. ‘I am not your pet, and I won’t be your slave any longer.’

The colours of the landscape flickered around them, the yellow grass turned a little grey, the sky shifted a little darker. Like shitty reception on an old TV or a crappy VHS footage, instead of physical reality... this really was Chthon’s world through and through, and the thought kind of scared Tony. How could something like the ground beneath their feet and the sky above their heads be linked to a living being like this... how? Was anything even real around them?

‘I created you,’ Chthon said, eyes still locked on Kierrok. ‘Your power, the air in your lungs, every atom in your body belongs to me... you should’ve known better.’

‘I do know better,’ Kierrok said.

‘You’ve outlived your usefulness,’ Chthon responded plainly.

‘Threaten me all you want,’ Kierrok said in return. ‘You can’t touch me... not in this body,’ he lifted Barnes’ bionic arm in front of him, and those odd colourful symbols all flared to life on it. ‘I shall thank you sister for it, once I’m free.’

A shadow passed over Chthon, twisting up Yelena’s face into something grey and inhuman.

Tony caught a small movement from the corner of his eye, and he knew it was Leah, but he didn’t turn to stare. She was about to start on getting them out of here before Chthon showed up, so maybe it was best not to draw attention to her. The demons could fight among themselves, it gave them a chance to slip away maybe... well, except Barnes was kind of mixed up in the middle of it, which meant that Steve was not going anywhere either. This was bad from the start, but now it was moving headlong into disastrous territory.

Tony expected Chthon to say something else, cause that was something he learnt to anticipate from these demon-types now, a speech here and there, but there was just silence. The colours flickered around them once more, then a tremor started in the ground, not a real earthquake, but something close to it.

One of the N’Garai whined again, the sound sharp and agonised, drawing all of their attention just in time to see its head explode in a spray of dark blood, the huge body dropping to the ground.

‘Oh shit,’ Clint cursed silently, and Tony couldn’t agree more. Another one of the demons made a sound and it was less than a blink before its bones started to snap loudly, the body twisting and bending in unnatural ways.

Those things tried to kill them _repeatedly_ , but this was going to turn Tony’s stomach. Kierrok dropped both arms, his fists clenched tightly.

‘You’ve grown fond of your pets,’ Chthon said. He didn’t lift a finger, didn’t even look away from Kierrok as another N’Garai started writhing on the ground in pain, whining in distress. ‘And I let you, for I was kind... but I won’t be kind to you now.’

‘You’ve never known kindness,’ Kierrok spat back.

‘What are we gonna do?’ Pietro asked in a harsh whisper.

‘We might have to fight,’ Thor said, his voice a soft rumble.

‘Kierrok, he’s... he’s close to attack, I can feel it,’ Wanda said, her eyes locked on the demons.

‘Then soon we might not have a choice,’ Vision said.

‘No, just stay inside the barrier,’ Leah said.

‘What barrier?’ Pietro demanded, turning towards her sharply, his voice much louder than before.

There was no time to worry whether Chthon overheard them, because some sort of light erupted from Leah’s hand. It was too bright to look at, so Tony quickly turned away, eyes squeezed shut.

Wanda made a short shocked sound.

‘A little warning next time!’ Strange yelled.

‘No wait, what about Steve?!’ Sam shouted.

‘Loki!’ Thor called. Something was happening, so Tony forced his eyes open again. They could be under attack any moment, he needed to get his bearings.

Oh, there was the barrier. It was more like a bright stream of light connecting three points, Leah, Strange and Wanda, the stones in their hands. Tony somehow doubted they were actual stones, but it’s what they all called them. The colour reminded Tony of the glowing brightness of a welder, but it didn’t burn his eyes like real UV light.

‘Wanda, are you okay?’ Pietro asked, eyeing the light-beam suspiciously.

‘It’s fine, I’m okay,’ she nodded.

Almost all of them were inside the little triangle that the light created. Steve and Loki were much farther away, close to Kierrok, while Vision was just a few feet outside of it.

‘We can’t leave without Steve,’ Sam argued.

‘We’re not leaving,’ Leah told him, sounding impatient. There was light coming out of her, pouring out from the cracks on her face.

‘Of course you’re not leaving.’

Chthon told them that, and he was much closer than a moment ago, but somehow Kierrok was still in-between them, his remaining N’Garai plastered close to his side, only four was left. Tony looked around to search for Steve, who was thankfully still in the exact same spot as before, even if that spot was outside of the triangle.

‘You failed!’ Kierrok shouted, Barnes’ voice deep and distorted. ‘You cannot return, no one will make way for you!’

Chthon seemed way too calm, all things considered, or maybe this weird Yelena-shaped appearance was good for hiding any sort of emotions... if he was even capable of real emotions.

‘There will be another time, and another way,’ the demon said in the end. ‘I am patient. But you, all of you, are trapped... and I will not be swift with my punishment.’

‘If you really thought there was no way out for us, you wouldn’t have brought us here,’ Loki spoke up.

His words actually made Chthon turn his head back towards him, so Tony took the chance to look around at Leah, Wanda and Strange, see whether anything was happening with this energy triangle they held in place. It all looked to same to Tony, but unfortunately he knew jack shit about magic, so something could’ve changed.

Nothing made sense in this world... hell, nothing had made sense in this mess from the start. His worldview was forced to shift from everything he witnessed, and he didn’t just mean the demons. Oh, he could explain demons, different creatures from different worlds, not any more confusing than Asgardians. He could explain the Darkholders too, because there were plenty of humans with extraordinary abilities, but all this... magic. Matter and energy seemingly appearing out of nowhere, reality changing and warping around them just because someone flicked a finger... Tony couldn’t explain that at all. At least not right now.

‘Mistress Death gave you a gift, but you are not invincible,’ Chthon said to Loki. ‘Your game ends here, I am tired of it.’

‘Give it your best shot,’ Loki taunted back, staring the demon down.

But Chthon didn’t attack him, didn’t even lift a finger towards him. No, he turned back around to the rest of them. Tony literally felt the shockwave down to his bones as it erupted, and he thought that Kierrok was the target again. But it was Leah who made a sound, might’ve been a scream, but it was cut off too quickly. The light coming out from under her skin shone brighter for a moment, then she exploded into a pitch-back cloud of darkness. It wasn’t like thick smoke or dust... just intangible fluid shadows. Then several things happened at once.

Loki shouted Leah’s name, and he even tried to get closer to them. The triangle lost one of its corners, turning into an unstable line between Strange and Wanda, the energy sizzling and moving erratically between them like lightning. It made a high-pitched sharp buzz, like a huge jet engine. The N’Garai snarled and might’ve attacked, maybe even Kierrok did, and all colours washed out from the world around them, everything turning grey and black like ash.

‘I can’t hold it!’ Wanda shouted. ‘What do we do?’

‘We need a third point!’ Strange said in return. ‘We cant stabilize it ourselves!’

‘I don’t think Loki can get through to us,’ Natasha said as a new shockwave shook the ground below them. Tony looked up to glance at the demons. Whatever it was that Chthon was doing, it seemed like that weird magic-thing in Barnes’ arm was holding him off. Loki was behind Chthon, but he seemed to be stuck in one place, like an incredibly strong wind was keeping him from moving. He was fighting it though.

‘Thor, what about you?’ Pietro asked. ‘Can you do it?’

‘I can try,’ Thor nodded, but just as he made a step forward to where Leah stood a few moments ago, another wave shook the ground and somehow the lightbeam between Strange and Wanda grew bigger... Tony’s ears started to ring and it was hard to hear anything.

‘Everyone get down!’ Sam shouted, thankfully loud enough to be heard. Tony didn’t hesitate, he dropped to the ground, even if it hurt, and he hoped everyone else heard the warning too. The ringing in his ears got worse and he was almost worried that soon he’s going to feel blood dripping out of it, then suddenly the sound and harsh light died down again.

He looked up immediately and saw that the triangle was back around them, and in Leah’s place it was Vision who held the stone. The gem in his forehead glowed brighter than ever before.

‘Okay, how did you do that?’ Clint asked.

‘I don’t know, I just had to try and help,’ Vision said. ‘It’s... I can’t explain what it feels like.’

‘It’s energy,’ Wanda said. ‘And you have more than enough yourself.’

‘I really do not know what to do,’ Vision said, eyeing the stone in his hand dubiously.

‘Just stay where you are and we can hold it,’ Strange said.

‘And then what?’ Natasha turned to him. ‘Do you know how to take us out of here?’

‘Loki will know,’ Thor said, and before anyone could say a word he was up in the air and gone from their little triangle of safety. Maybe Tony should’ve looked around to see what was happening with the impossibly powerful demon sooner... but self-preservation has never been his strong suit.

There was a large sphere of energy, no bright colours or flashy displays, but the air looked scorching hot, visibly vibrating, while a whirlwind of grass and dust kept spinning and spinning, almost completely obscuring what was going on. Tony still saw that in the middle Chthon and Kierrok were locked in some power struggle. He couldn’t see Steve or Loki from this side, but he had a hunch Thor flew up to get to them.

‘Anyone has eyes on Cap?’ Clint asked.

‘Not yet,’ Natasha responded.

Tony wanted to ask the little magic-circle what the plan was, but he caught glimpse of Loki again. He charged at the transparent sphere, his sword like glowing steel, and the second he got close enough the entire globe of sizzling energy exploded into flames. Tony was sure that this barrier around them caught some of the heat because the flames should’ve felt much hotter on his face.

Kierrok jumped back out of the way, his N’Garai closely following him. Loki attacked, but Chthon smoothly stepped aside from the swipe, then he dodged the sword with his bare hands again and again. Thunder rumbled and Thor’s lighting struck at Chthon from above. The demon lifted a hand and he actually caught the lightning, the energy crackling between him and Mjölnir for long moments. Loki was back with his sword from the other side, but Chthon swiftly turned and let the lightning strike go. Loki was quick enough to get out of its way, but it was a close one.

It kinda looked bad from Tony’s point of view, not that it stopped Thor and Loki at all. He never really saw them fight side-by-side like this, only against each other, so the perfect coordination was almost startling for a moment.

‘So how long before Chthon tears through them?’ Natasha asked.

‘What does it matter?’ Sam asked in return. ‘It’s not like we’re going to leave without them, are we?’

Loki and Barnes... maybe. It wouldn’t feel like the right thing to do, but maybe. But Cap and Thor too... no way in hell. Tony moved to get back to his feet, gritting his teeth against the pain in his injured leg.

‘Strange, what are our options?’ Tony asked. ‘With Chthon and these stones... this magic you do is all energy, right? So can we switch from defence to offence?’

‘Most of us would die in seconds against Chthon,’ Strange answered. ‘If Captain Rogers is all right, it’s by sheer dumb luck.’

‘Don’t give up on Cap just yet,’ Tony said.

‘There’s still not much else we can do, unless we are willing to give up on this possible escape route,’ Strange said.

‘Are you really telling us that we have to sit here and watch?’ Clint asked. ‘Because that is a load of crap! I know we’re not all gods and superhumans, but we’re The Avengers, we can do something!’

That was a nice sentiment and all, but Tony was down and so was Sam, there was no way around it. And while Natasha and Clint were pretty damn badass, this was not someone that’s going to be bothered by bullets or explosives.

‘We could find Cap, and get him in here,’ Sam said.

‘I can do that,’ Pietro said. ‘I’d be the fastest.’

‘Speed alone won’t protect you,’ Strange warned.

‘So I gotta move while the jerk’s distracted,’ Pietro answered.

‘Be very careful,’ Wanda warned. ‘Keep your distance.’

‘I will,’ Pietro promised. ‘So, it’s safe to pass this thing?’

‘From the inside, yes,’ Strange confirmed.

‘And how do I get back in?’

‘We can let you in, don’t worry,’ Strange told him. Pietro didn’t question him, he was gone in a blink.

Kierrok joined the fray against Chthon, or at least he kept close to the battle. Loki looked pissed, as angry as Tony remembered him to be during the invasion, or even worse. He sometimes caught a glimpse of his face and the look in his eyes did not promise anything good. And that sword was probably more dangerous than Tony initially thought, because Chthon seemed to be very careful with it. He was not nearly as concerned about Thor’s hammer, that much was clear.

Chthon dodged Loki’s attacks, moving away from his sword widely, only to be finally struck by a well-aimed lightning from Thor. The demon made a loud sound, and the female voice – Yelena’s voice – vanished completely, there was only the deep rumble of the demon’s true voice.

He shook off the lightning angrily, still on his feet, but this mirage of a human body flickered. Tony didn’t understand why he bothered with it in the first place, unless he had no other choice. His passage over to Earth was halfway done if Loki was to believe, so maybe he was linked to Yelena’s body over in the cave in more ways than one. Tony wished he had time to run all his ideas through Strange or even Loki, but damn, it was way too late for that.

‘Enough!’ Chthon shouted. The ground quaked under their feet heavily and that scorching hot wind was back with vengeance, knocking Thor, Loki, Kierrok and the N’garai aside. Thor was in the air, so he flew the farthest, whilst Loki landed close to the rest of them. Chthon moved too fast to follow, maybe he goddamn teleported from spot to spot, but either way he was right next to Loki in a blink, pinning the hand holding the sword down, then Loki himself.

‘I am tired of you, your existence,’ he spoke angrily, almost nothing from Yelena’s voice coming through. ‘Death will not claim you, I will destroy everything you are, and you will not return from that!’

Loki’s magic lit up like fire, orange flames erupting around them. Chthon seemed much larger than before, engulfed in those flames, but it had to be Tony’s imagination, because he knew he was still looking at the exact replica of Yelena. This didn’t look like it was going to end well for Loki, and Tony’s mind was racing whether there was anything they could do to help in this fight without dropping the only protection they currently had.

‘The Wolf shall swallow the sun,’ Loki said. Tony barely heard the words over the crackling flames. Not that the words made any sense whatsoever in the first place.

‘Then The Serpent stirs in giant wrath,’ he continued. ‘Her great gates open...’

‘Have you lost your mind trickster?’ Chthon demanded.

‘What is that?’ Natasha asked. Tony turned and immediately saw it. There was something dark gathering around Vision. Tony was not the only one to yell at him to move, but all of that liquid darkness pooling at his feet just shot out into the sky without touching him. Darkness, just like when Leah vanished.

‘... and the world falls,’ Loki finished.

A sudden ice cold wind swept through them, almost a relief after the heat Chthon created, and the sky turned pitch-black.

‘Hell, what now?’ Sam asked. Tony couldn’t agree more with the desperate tiredness in his voice.

A dark pillar descended from the sky with incredible speed, like a colourless, soundless twin of the Bifrost, engulfing both Loki and Chthon. Thor landed on the ground close to it, probably contemplating just charging in there, while Kierrok and the N’Garai moved further away. He kept close to the rest of them and their magical barrier though.

Before Thor could do anything stupid, Loki stumbled back out of the dark pillar. He seemed a little dazed for a moment, but then he straightened up to stand firmly on his feet, his face turned towards the sky, which still looked completely black to Tony. Whatever Loki did – because Tony was convinced it was him with his weird little poem – it looked bad... what in the world was taking Pietro so long?

Then the dark pillar vanished and there stood a tall figure, almost too tall to be human, slender and feminine. A painting came to Tony’s mind, bursting forth from his memory vividly. He couldn’t remember where exactly he saw it, some charity party maybe, but he remembered the image. It was a painting of a tree, a lone black tree with long messy branches surrounded by a bleak grey landscape. It was mostly just blotches of paint, grey smudges and black lines, but it was somehow a striking image. And now the colourless world around them, the dust in the air that made everything look messy and less sharp, and the lone dark figure… it was like something from that painting came to life. The way she stood there, dark and ominous, her hair or headdress towering around her head like burnt tree branches, stretching out to the sides and up towards the sky… she was not from this world, she was starkly not a part of it, but she sure as hell was not part of their world either.

For a long moment it felt like everyone was holding their breaths, waiting.

Then Chthon shook the world around them again, this time so violently that Tony had to change this stance to stay on his feet, it shot a sharp stab of pain through his leg. He tried his best to ignore it.

Chthon was surrounded by glowing light as he stood before the tall figure. It was still not the same sort of flashy magic light that Tony was used to see from Wanda, this was the colour of sizzling heat, almost the only colour outside of their barrier.

‘I knew Loki couldn’t have gained Mistress Death’s favour,’ Chthon spat angrily. ‘It’s you then who’s after my power!’

‘You assume too much,’ the tall woman responded calmly, lifting an arm that created a new cloud of darkness around her, spreading in all directions, seeping into the ground. Both Thor and Loki took a few steps back, which seemed like a smart thing to do. Chthon was not intimidated, he stood his ground as more and more of that strange darkness gathered around him. He was either very sure that he couldn’t be harmed, or he was stupidly cocky. It was always hard to tell.

Then Pietro finally returned, suddenly standing on the relatively safe side of their barrier. Tony turned to look at him, but he kept glancing back to keep an eye on what the hell was going on with their biggest problem.

‘I found Steve, but there’s demons, and cliffs, and like cracks in the ground, and I need help!’ he rattled through quickly, taking a few large gulps of air straight after, his eyes locked on Chthon and the mysterious lady-figure.

‘Clint,’ Natasha said, catching the archer’s attention with wave.

‘You’re going out there?’ Sam asked.

‘Who else?’ she asked in return. Tony didn’t try arguing with her.

‘She’s right, the three of us are locked in place, and you two are injured,’ Vision answered.

Natasha and Clint both stepped through the barrier over to Pietro.

‘Kierrok,’ Natasha called to the demon who was still staying close to them while keeping as far away from Chthon as possible. ‘You want us to take you with us? Then you’re going to help.’

‘I think I did enough already.’ the demon responded.

‘We are not leaving anyone behind, so you either help or none of us is going anywhere. Is that clear enough?’

Kierrok’s eyes flashed to a brighter shade of yellow for a moment as he stared at Natasha, which was a really disturbing thing to see on Barnes’ face. Tony hoped the guy was okay. He wasn’t Tony’s favourite person, but he had the worst goddamn luck, and nobody deserved this.

‘Fine,’ Kierrok said, then pinned Pietro with a stare. ‘Lead the way, but quickly.’

He stepped back to one of his N’Garai and smoothly slid on its back, holding onto one of its horns gently, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

‘We’ll catch up,’ Natasha reassured Pietro when he glanced back at her.

‘I’ll lead him there and come back to you,’ Pietro said and started running, his path visible by that blue trail he always left behind. The remaining few N’Garai all started running after him with Kierrok riding the one at the front.

‘Am I the only one who’s kind of terrified of that thing inside Barnes?’ Tony asked out loud.

‘We will get rid of him if he won’t leave on his own,’ Strange said. ‘Once we’re free from here.’

‘Watch your backs like crazy,’ Tony said to Natasha and Clint as they were about to start running.

‘Aw, you’re always so sweet after you lose a little blood,’ Clint smirked at him.

‘Just get going, and be quick about it,’ Tony said. Chthon seemed distracted right now, or he just didn’t really give a damn about any of them puny humans, but who knew how long that was going to last. Maybe if they were fast enough... no, there was no point thinking in “ifs” and “maybes”, he just had to trust them to do this.

Natasha and Clint took off running like this insane world around them didn’t mean anything, they didn’t even seem to be bothered by the ground still shaking under their feet.

‘This is the worst,’ Sam said, turning back to the literal storm of darkness just outside the barrier.

He probably didn’t just mean the god-like beings clashing in front of them, or the high probability of all of them dying, but the fact that the two of them were stuck here, grounded and forced to just watch. Not many things were worse than feeling like deadweight in the middle of a battle.

The dark shadows seeping forth from the tall woman didn’t seem to touch Chthon, there was a circle around him which the clouds and tendrils couldn’t penetrate.

‘That lady... it’s that Leah girl, right?’ Sam asked, his eyes locked on the scene in front of them.

‘You are asking the wrong person,’ Tony answered honestly.

He had a feeling that something they couldn’t see was happening, because Thor’s been inching closer to his brother, slowly reaching out with a hand to grab his arm.

‘We must go, Loki,’ Thor said.

‘Then go,’ Loki responded as fire lit up in his hands again.

‘I will not leave you to fight alone!’ Thor argued.

‘No, I wouldn’t want you to die separately either,’ Chthon said as he somehow pushed the shadows back and started walking forward. It kept swirling around him, trying to engulf him, but dissipating before it could touch him at all.

The tall woman turned her head to look back at Loki, eyes glowing white, and the top half of her face covered with that liquid darkness that seemed to be a part of her.

‘Loki,’ she said and nothing more, the meaning behind her tone escaped Tony, but Loki obviously understood.

‘Yes, I know, just do it,’ he responded.

The woman slipped up into the sky. Chthon reached after her, but the shadows finally seemed to latch onto him more firmly chaining him to the ground. Tony kept looking at the tall woman as she slid through the air back towards them and landed right in the middle of their triangle.

Shit, she really was tall. Her clothes were dark green, Tony didn’t even notice it before, it looked sort of like a dress, or a cloak, covering her from almost neck to toe. Tony exchanged a look with Sam, and they both took a few steps away from her.

‘Okay,’ Wanda said. ‘I really need to know what’s going on right now.’

‘Just hold onto the stones,’ the woman said. ‘They really are your only chance of survival.’

‘Is that you Miss Leah?’ Strange asked.

‘My answer to that would be very complicated,’ she said. ‘Yes, and no, now focus.’

The white line of power that connected the stones flashed brighter, then it seemed to solidify, looked more like tubes of glass filled with light.

‘We still have people outside!’ Tony said, stepping back close to her.

‘And they will be able to join us, but now, once they are on this side, there is no going back.’

Tony heard a shout, a yell so deep and loud that it almost hurt his ears. He turned and saw Chthon still wrestling with the shadows that kept twisting around him, preventing him from taking more than a few steps forward. Okay, he looked definitely furious now. Normally seeing Thor and Loki still standing their ground would’ve reassured Tony, but he was more than convinced that the brothers didn’t have a realistic chance.

‘This side?’ Sam questioned.

‘Look at the ground,’ Vision said. Tony did and the dots connected fairly quickly. There was stone beneath his feet, the same dark moss and lichen covered ground that they walked on for hours back in the cave. Tony stared at it enough, the stone had a distinct and recognisable tint. Everything outside of their barrier was still covered in colourless grass.

‘Oh... like electrons,’ Tony remarked.

‘What?’ Sam looked at him weirdly.

‘Quantum uncertainty,’ Tony said, his brain ignoring the incredible danger he was in to marvel at the fact that something finally started to make sense in all this magical crap. ‘An electron exists in a state of possibility, it’s anywhere, everywhere or nowhere at all at the same time. We’re here and we’re not here, we’re over there too, but not exactly.’

‘You are correct, Mr Stark,’ Strange said, looking at the light and the ground, taking it all in just like Tony did a moment ago. ‘And that’s why we cannot cross the barrier now, because we must be brought back into substantiality first.’

‘Strange, I hope you know I’m not letting you out of my tower until you’ve answered my uh... three-hundred questions.’

‘Yeah, plan your science meet-up after we’ve survived,’ Sam said.

Chthon was slowly disintegrating everything around him, so Tony was right that whatever the tall lady – maybe Leah – did was only temporary.

‘Loki,’ she called again, moving one of her arms towards him.

‘Yes, I know!’ Loki shouted back. Tony wasn’t sure if he was angry or... no, maybe scared, but there was definitely something in his tone that didn’t fill Tony with too much confidence.

‘Thor, get behind the barrier,’ Loki said.

‘No, I will not,’ Thor said straight away.

‘There’s nothing you can do!’

‘There’s always something to do,’ Thor replied.

‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ Loki told him.

Some of the darkness that did not seep into the ground like sickly veins moved back to Loki, feeding the flames around him that grew bigger and less colourful. Tony could see tints of dark green seeping back into the orange and yellow flames, and dark tendrils popping up here and there. Odd colours and unnatural fire were harder to understand and interpret than quantum mechanic laws, so Tony had no idea what Loki was doing.

The fire was bright and it hurt Tony’s eyes to keep looking at it, but he didn’t turn away. He hit his head a few times, he lost some blood, he was hurting like hell, and not that long ago even his ears were assaulted by noises way beyond safe frequencies. He’s seen things he never wanted to believe were possible, but even after everything, he still thought he must be going crazy, because all of a sudden he heard the howl of a wolf.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to Ragnarok n’ Roll... (sorry). Little art and physics tidbits thanks to Tony’s big brain in this chapter :)
> 
> The painting Tony remembered is the [“Grey Tree” by Piet Mondrian](http://www.piet-mondrian.org/the-gray-tree.jsp).
> 
> **Quantum uncertainty** AKA Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle states a fundamental property of quantum systems, which is defined as the ability of a particle like an electron to exist in a murky state of possibility – to be anywhere, everywhere or nowhere at all – until clicked into substantiality. It suggests that time/reality does not exist unless we are looking at it, observing it.
> 
> Sorry, if I didn’t quote that exactly right, it’s a very complicated topic. Quantum physics is hard y’all. 
> 
> Articles I used:[from Collective Evolution](http://www.collective-evolution.com/2015/07/20/quantum-experiment-shows-how-time-doesnt-exist-as-we-think-it-does-mind-altering) and [from New York Times](http://www.nytimes.com/2002/03/12/science/peering-through-the-gates-of-time.html)
> 
> I have a strong feeling that in the upcoming Doctor Strange movie magic will have a lot of connection to quantum mechanics, since Ant-Man already touched upon it.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m finally back! I worked a LOT in all of August (if you follow me on Tumblr, you probably saw my posts about it), so I had zero time to write. Thank you for your patience :)

Steve lost sight of everyone and he didn’t feel good about being on his own. The second Chthon showed up something squeezed his ribs from all sides, like that _thing_ was still somewhere buried in there, growing and climbing up into his brain to drive him mad. It had to be his imagination. Loki pulled it out and destroyed it. The hand print was long gone from his neck, so why was Chthon’s power still like a physical touch on his skin? Maybe there was no way to completely get rid of whatever mark Chthon left on him, maybe Loki missed something, maybe... maybe Steve was just imagining it, and the cold fear deep in his gut was just common sense.

When the colours vanished, at first he thought something was wrong with his eyes – or his mind – but then he looked down and saw that his uniform and his shield still looked the same. So he accepted the change as something magical, and tried to ignore it altogether.

He wanted to catch up with Loki, even though he couldn’t see him anymore, but that’s when the demons came.

None of them were N’Garai, but considering what Kierrok did, that was not all that surprising. Just thinking about that demon filled Steve with white hot rage, so the fact that his pets no longer tried to kill them meant very little. Steve had a significantly better chance against these mismatched smaller demons, and the rest of The Avengers would have a lot less on their hands too, but what Kierrok did to Bucky was still unforgivable. Steve liked to believe that he’s never been a bloodthirsty person, he just wanted to fight for those who couldn’t fight for themselves, but Kierrok got him where it hurt the most, and Steve wanted him gone.

The horde of demons didn’t appear to be a part of a well-planned attack, they were rabid animals scattering everywhere, attacking everything in their way. Either they were here to aid Chthon, or they tried to run from their angry master, but Steve was caught up in the middle no matter the reason. He kept drifting further and further away from his original position, the constant attacks not making it possible to just stand his ground. And even if they were no N’Garai, Steve still had to be careful with their claws and sharp teeth. He got a few cuts, bites, and bruises no matter how hard he fought, but he wasn’t bleeding profusely, which counted as a win. He hoped none of the little beasts were venomous, but hell, he was not going to worry about that right now.

He saw a blue blur, but he wasn’t sure whether it was Pietro or another demon, not until the kid actually returned, this time with N’Garai close behind him. Some of the demons that were swarming around Steve – attacking him relentlessly and waiting for him to make a mistake – finally ran as they realised that the giant beasts were going after them. The N’Garai tore through them like they were nothing. And there was Kierrok too – of course – still wearing Bucky’s body, on the back of one of the N’Garai. Just looking at him made Steve see red, and he didn’t really care that he was helping.

Pietro popped up next to him, bashing through some imp-like creatures with enough force to knock them out of the way. They didn’t attack Steve again after that, instead they eyed Kierrok warily as he finally jumped down from the back of his N’Garai. These little imp-things were the most humanoid-looking from all the demons that popped into existence, and they were the only ones who did not run away in blind panic at the sight of Kierrok and the N’Garai.

‘Should we make a run for it?’ Pietro asked. ‘Clint and Natasha will cover us once we make it up that little hill there.’

Kierrok marched towards them, and some of the imp-like demons turned and ran, but not all of them. Kierrok’s eyes were glowing yellow, his skin still red in uneven patches, his dark expression unnaturally twisting up Bucky’s face.

‘Be gone!’ he growled. He literally growled, Bucky’s voice dipping down into a gravelly depth that was not possible with human vocal chords. Two of his N’Garai stopped right next to him, digging their claws into the ground, roaring threateningly at the other demons.

The remaining small demons ran, apparently intelligent enough to know when they didn’t stand a chance. Or maybe it was just good old-fashioned survival instinct. Steve never had much of that. He glared at Kierrok fiercely, despite the timely rescue, not that the demon cared one bit.

So Steve took a moment to assess his surroundings. The colourless ground was unstable; it kept falling away, revealing endless pits of darkness below. He didn’t have eyes on Chthon or the Avengers from this position, but he could tell that something big was happening again. A dark pillar descended from the sky not that long ago... so yeah, that was kind of a dead giveaway.

‘Move already,’ Kierrok barked at them. ‘Or do you need to be carried as well as rescued?’

‘Go to hell,’ Steve snapped back.

‘It can’t be worse than this place,’ Kierrok said in return. Steve didn’t want to keep talking to him, so he just snapped his shield back on to his back and started running the way Kierrok came from, towards the hill where Pietro said Natasha and Clint were. He didn’t even glance at the N’Garai as he ran past them, his eyes firmly on the treacherous ground. He really didn’t want to fall in one of those holes.

Pietro ran right next to him, which was glacial speed for him.

‘Get back to the others, and stay there,’ Steve ordered, and he was glad when the kid didn’t argue. This left Steve running with the N’Garai and Kierrok. He kept looking at the swirling darkness in the distance, and he hoped he would soon be able to see what the hell was going on with Chthon and the others.

Then an orange shape ran past him, appearing out of nowhere, making him stop abruptly. It looked like a big dog... on fire. He saw more of them in the distance when he glanced around, going after the demons, leaving fire and thick black lines of burnt grass and scorch marks in their wake.

‘What the hell are these?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Kierrok replied. It couldn’t be Chthon then, and he wouldn’t send creatures against his own demons anyway, he wouldn’t set fire to his own world. So that left Loki or Strange, maybe even Leah.

‘Keep moving,’ Kierrok said when Steve got distracted for a few moments too long looking at the flames that erupted. Wolves, they had to be, they were too big to be dogs.

Some of the demons might’ve been scared of the N’Garai, but they still needed to flee from the flames and these wolves, so soon enough there were plenty of them that got too close for Steve’s liking. Sure, if he trusted Kierrok even a little, then he might’ve felt quite save, but he didn’t. He still kept his eyes on the cracks in the ground and the holes into nowhere, but now he was forced to keep glancing at demons as they appeared in his field of vision, wondering which moment they would attack.

An arrow whizzed by his head, hitting some flying thing that was not far behind Steve. He felt a brief moment of shock, of course, then relief. They were close enough now that Clint was taking down demons. He spotted him and Natasha a little further ahead only a few moments later, taking shots at anything that tried to take a bite out of them. Steve was glad that the strength and quasi-invulnerability of the N’Garai was more an exception rather than a general characteristic of all demons of this world.

Then as soon as Steve reached the small hill he felt intense heat on his face, even long before he spotted the flames. Oh, he saw the orange lights, but he didn’t actually think there was this much real fire. And damn, it was real fire, a goddamn hellish inferno, because everything was covered in flames. Right in the middle of it all, stood a giant wolf, black as the night, eerily incorporeal, but still very real. Orange flames were licking at its body, smoke erupting with its every movement. Just like all the other wolves, just much... so much bigger.

He didn’t stop running towards Natasha and Clint, despite his eyes being fixed on the thing.

‘Pietro?’ he asked.

‘Sent him back to the others,’ Natasha said. ‘He got there before everything went up in flames.’

‘Okay, where next?’ Steve asked, not even looking at the other two, his eyes glued to the giant thing. Nobody could blame him for it, this was surreal on a whole new level.

‘Well, we need to get back to the others too.’ Natasha pointed at something in the distance. It took Steve a moment to make it out where the rest of their group was between the flames. Damn, he really drifted far from everyone.

‘And how...?’

‘Magic,’ Natasha shrugged. ‘Some barrier, whatever, it’s definitely keeping them safe. We need to get back there.’

‘So how are we going to make ourselves fireproof?’ Clint asked as he finally lowered his bow and stepped closer to them.

‘Ugh, if my life didn’t depend on this...’ Kierrok commented drily. His tone finally made Steve look away from the giant wolf. It was facing off against someone, and Steve sincerely hoped it was Chthon.

‘I am not climbing on one of those things,’ Clint protested straight away.

‘Fine, burn to crisps, I really don’t care either way,’ Kierrok said and he easily hopped back on the back of one his demons. Steve eyed the other three N’Garai, still placid instead of rabid, but Steve remembered being hunted by them. Shit. He sighed.

‘I’ve got no other idea,’ he admitted in defeat.

‘Desperate times,’ Natasha said and started walking closer to one.

‘This is by far our worst field trip,’ Clint added. Steve huffed and gave him a look, but he really appreciated Clint’s calm – and stupid jokes – in the face of everything around them. It was one of the few things that made it easier to deal with the world going sideways. Aliens pouring out of the sky, demons roaming a field covered in flames... Clint was always Clint.

Natasha was the first to follow Kierrok’s lead, showing no fear or uncertainty at having to climb onto one of the demons. The N’Garai made a sound, but it didn’t protest or snarl at her. Steve wondered how Kierrok kept them under control, but it didn’t matter enough to ask. The less he needed to talk to this demon the better.

Sitting on the N’Garai was not actually comfortable, its skin was rough and hard, its whole body was nothing but muscles and bones. The thing was warm though; warm enough for Steve to feel it through his uniform, even despite the flames and his already overheated skin.

‘Careful with the horns,’ Kierrok said, a dark threat plain and clear in his voice. Steve would’ve been tempted to spite him, but now that the N’Garai weren’t attacking them, it would’ve felt wrong to hurt one of them for no reason. These were just... incredibly deadly animals, and Steve’s never been cruel, definitely not to animals, no matter how dangerous they were. Steve had a feeling that Kierrok probably didn’t have much to do with the N’Garai attacks on Earth, not if he really gave this much of a damn about these things. Not that it changed the fact that he was a cruel bastard for doing this to Bucky. Steve tried to clamp down on his anger a little, but it was not easy.

Steve never even rode a horse, and this was probably very different, but hell, Kierrok made it look so easy. At least he didn’t need to worry about squeezing too tightly with his legs. Natasha and Clint seemed to be doing okay too, but the looks on their faces meant they were enjoying this as much as Steve was. Desperate times indeed.

The N’Garai were fast and agile, and didn’t care about the wild flames everywhere, they even easily avoided all pitfalls. After the first few moments Steve no longer felt the need to stare at where they were going, so his eyes naturally went back to the giant wolf wreaking havoc. He was more and more certain that it was not flesh and blood, but it was still real, a manifestation of something powerful.

He spotted a flash of lightning close to the giant beast, so Thor was still there, fighting. Kierrok was too far away for Steve to shout at him to change directions, and the demon probably wouldn’t have listened anyway. And maybe it was better to check up on the others first before they ran headlong into danger again. He did want to know whether everyone was all right, for his own peace of mind.

As tense moments ticked by, Steve’s ears filled with the sounds of crackling flames, howling wolves, and the heavy breaths of the N’Garai he was riding. It was not the usual sounds of war, bullets and screams, but it put him in the exact same state of mind, sharp and focused, muscles tense and ready for action. The heat was bad too, he felt sweat rolling down his back under his uniform, and the flames were hot on his face even if they never touched him. The ground moved and shifted around them more the closer they got, the earth sometimes lifting and falling fluidly like sluggish waves. The N’Garai still navigated the dangerous ground with ease, not slowing down for a moment, but it took Steve a bit more effort to stay safely on top.

Then Steve finally spotted the actual barrier that kept his friends safe. But before they had a chance to reach it a new wave of energy shook the world around them, making the N’Garai stop. It took a considerable amount of strength to stay on top, and even Natasha and Clint struggled. Steve looked up just in time to see the giant wolf dissipate like smoke, vanishing with no trace.

‘That can’t be good,’ Clint said.

The earth literally lifted up underneath them, a hill rising up out of nowhere, but soon crumbling apart. The N’Garai jumped and ran, scattering to get out of the way. Something broke through the ground right next to Steve, a white curved pillar, then another, and another, all in a row, moving forward and up, then descending back into the ground again. The ground was still moving like stormy waves, dust filling the air, sticking to his sweaty skin, as gaping cracks spread everywhere.

Steve kept watching as some of the same curved pillars appeared in other places, some of them were much taller and thicker than the ones that burst through the ground next to him. They were all lifting up and descending back down smoothly and fluidly despite the destruction they caused... The things were moving forward like they were attached to something inside the ground.

The N’Garai he rode on stopped when they reached a crevice too wide to jump.

‘Around it, come on!’ Steve urged, and thankfully the thing seemed to understand well enough and it started running along the edge to find a narrower part. The N’Garai found each other and Kierrok easily, so soon all four of them were running in the same direction, all of them halted by the same crevice.

Steve kept his eyes on the gaping darkness next to them, because if something was moving those pillars, then something was in the ground, causing all these cracks and chasms, something big. And sure enough, he spotted the white pillars ascending from the depth again, towering over them in just a few moments. They were off-white, like old marble or bone, and they kept rising up, getting thicker and thicker, moving forward as they did before. Then something glittered, the burning orange flames illuminated something else coming up from the depth. Steve couldn’t make out a shape, but it was definitely coming closer.

‘What the hell are these?’ Natasha yelled, eyeing the still moving pillars, but Steve’s eyes were locked on the thing below.

He sucked in a breath when he saw it, where the pillars ended, because those glittering colours looked like scales, they had that distinct rectangular shape, even though each of them was over four feet long. It couldn’t really be anything alive... could it?

‘I’m seeing something big. Am I the only one seeing something really big?’ Clint asked.

But if those were scales, then the giant pillars were spikes... and how could anything be this huge?

The N’Garai either didn’t care for the giant body or Kierrok urged them to move, but as soon as those scales were close enough the demons jumped over on top without warning. Okay, so it was definitely the quickest way to cross, but damn, Steve didn’t want to be anywhere near this... whatever the hell it was. It had scales, so maybe something reptilian. He wouldn’t exactly be shocked if turned out to be a goddamn dragon or something. Nothing seemed to be impossible anymore.

The N’Garai swiftly ran across the scaled form even as it kept moving, and there was luckily enough space between the spikes for the N’Garai to pass through. Once they reached the other side they were a farther away from the barrier because of the detour, but with the N’Garai’s speed, Steve was sure it wouldn’t take long to get there.

Steve saw lightning again, a giant bolt where the wolf used to be. Thor was still in a fight, and maybe Loki was with him, but who the hell knew. He wanted to be there, dammit, not just stare at what was going on from a distance. Maybe he couldn’t do much against Chthon, but he still wanted to be there.

Steve felt that tightness around his chest again, the one he was sure he just imagined, but the N’Garai stopped abruptly too, making distressed sounds. So it had to be something real.

‘What’s going on?’ Natasha demanded.

‘It’s Chthon… they’re scared, get off,’ Kierrok said. Steve didn’t have to be told twice, he was glad to put just a little distance between himself and the demons. Natasha and Clint moved straight away too.

‘So are we running?’ Clint asked.

‘There’s a few paths between the flames we can take,’ Steve said after he quickly looked around. He looked at Kierrok then, because while he wanted to demon gone, he was not going to let Bucky out of his sight.

‘I’ll follow you, they’ll follow me,’ Kierrok said, answering the silent question. ‘But keep your distance if you know what’s good for you.’

Yeah, giant deadly demons that looked kinda spooked and were possibly prone to lashing out because of it, obviously Steve was going to keep his distance.

‘This way,’ he said as he picked the path that seemed the safest for them. Although “safe” was a very relative term right now.

Natasha and Clint followed him very closely, while Kierrok stayed quite a few steps behind with his N’Garai. The flames were dangerously close, but there was no way around it, they had to get back to the others, it already took way too long to get this far.

Steve heard a crack and a shift under his feet, so he stopped and jumped back, almost knocking both Clint and Natasha off their feet. At least he moved quickly enough to avoid falling into the crack that appeared in front of them. It widened rapidly until there was a chasm too wide to possibly cross. There were flames on both sides, so they couldn’t get around it either.

‘Goddammit,’ Natasha cursed.

Steve could maybe make that jump, but he wasn’t so sure both Natasha and Clint could. They were good, but they were not superhuman. He didn’t know how spooked the N’Garai were, if they could…

The flames died down on one side, sniffed out like a candle, and Loki stood there.

‘I saw you approaching,’ he said calmly. He looked… odd, Steve couldn’t point out why, but something was a little off about him. His red hair was maybe a bit brighter, or maybe it was his eyes, or he was paler than before.

‘Thanks,’ Steve said still.

Thor landed a moment later next to Loki, a lot more battle worn and wounded than his brother, his cape torn and scorched, his armour covered in dust and blood.

‘Chthon?’ Kierrok asked.

‘He’s… distracted,’ Thor said vaguely. Steve just gave him a look and tilted his head to try and look at what was behind him.

‘No one can kill as much as he did without a few ghosts to haunt him,’ Loki said, which didn’t really explain anything at all.

‘We should get back to that barrier, while he’s… distracted,’ Clint pointed out.

‘Yes, he’s right, this is our chance to escape,’ Thor agreed.

‘Go on ahead,’ Loki said, already turning his back on them. ‘I will not leave just yet.’

‘Are you mad?’ Kierrok asked. ‘Will you really try to kill him? It’s impossible!’

‘No, I won’t try to kill him,’ Loki answered, looking back at them. ‘But I will destroy this world utterly, and he will go down with it.’

He was pale; Steve was sure of that now that he saw him in the burning light of the flames, but there was something else too. That same eeriness that surrounded the giant wolf, something that made him look not quite real, which didn’t make sense, because Loki was flesh and blood like the rest of them.

‘Brother, you’ve done enough,’ Thor said. ‘We must escape now, while we still can.’

‘Unlike you to retreat from battle, brother,’ Loki answered.

‘I’d rather flee than watch any of you perish,’ Thor said with a shake of his head. ‘We defeated the Darkholders, if we leave, he won’t follow us. We must go.’

‘I do not plan to die here,’ Loki told him. ‘Go. I will follow. There’s just one last thing I must do first.’

Thor looked like he really wanted to argue, his fingers were almost white around Mjölnir’s handle.

‘Come, we can wait for my brother by the barrier,’ he just said in the end. ‘At least you’ll be safe there.’ He didn’t say it outright, but Steve was sure that Thor would not leave without Loki.

Steve spotted Chthon as soon as they got going again, even if he was unsure of what he actually saw. There were shapes and forms circling Chthon and the demon kept lashing out at them, his power sizzling in the air. Every time he moved Steve felt that tightness around his chest, not as bad as before, but it was still there like a scar pulling at his skin uncomfortably. He didn’t know what the shapes were and why they seemed to distract Chthon so much, but he knew it had to be Loki’s doing in some way.

‘What have you done?’ Natasha asked.

‘He slaughtered his kin in his hunger for power, but they are not gone. Shades of their former selves will always reside within. Angry... and thirsty for revenge.’

‘So you meant the ghosts literally,’ Steve commented.

Steve thought he heard Chthon even from this distance, Yelena’s voice rumbling unnaturally. Angry shouts and curses were thrown around as Cthon tried to get rid of the shades tormenting him. There was no sign of that calm superiority now, that absolute certainty that he had the upper hand. Steve had no idea whether these things could actually hurt the demon, but it didn’t matter, they did their job. Hopefully, they drove him mad, he would deserve it.

‘Okay, I’m kind of afraid to ask, but what is that big fucking thing?’ Clint asked, pointing in the vague direction where some of those spikes and that huge body kept surfacing.

Thor answered before Loki could open his mouth.

‘It is a great Serpent, a thing of myths and legends,’ he said. ‘I’d never thought such a thing could exist.’

When even Thor spoke in disbelief, who was sort of a literal god of thunder, well, that was quite something. Steve never heard him talk of myths and legends, always just stories of the past.

‘Because it does not exist in our world, only in others,’ Loki said. ‘And believe me, it was not easy to summon it.’

‘Loki, I worry what price you will have to pay for all this,’ Thor told his brother.

‘Oh, I’m last thing you need to worry about right now, brother,’ Loki answered. ‘I’ve never felt more powerful.’

Thor stared at him for another long moment, but then he turned to the rest of them.

‘Come, my friends, quickly,’ he urged, not wanting them to just stand around watching Chthon and the shades, or the Serpent tearing the ground apart, this world literally crumbling to pieces in front of their eyes, no matter how bizarrely it captured all of their attention.

Clint and Natasha moved right away, while Steve turned to glance back at Kierrok to make sure he was still following. The demon bent down to get a little closer to the head of the N’Garai that stood at the front, the other three a little further back, still looking jumpy, making distressed noises. Kierrok was talking quietly, so Steve couldn’t hear a word.

‘Kierrok,’ he called.

The demon glanced back at him, but then turned his attention back to the N’Garai.

‘We need to go,’ Steve reminded him, as if it wasn’t obvious.

‘I know that!’ Kierrok hissed angrily, his hand coming up to the N’Garai’s big head. ‘Come on, girl, be brave for me.’

‘You’re not planning on bringing them with us, are you?’

Kierrok glared back at him with fiery yellow eyes. The anger was easy to read with Bucky’s features.

‘They’re the only ones left,’ he said, turning his back on Steve again. ‘I know you think we’re all just monsters, but no... I won’t leave them here.’

Steve didn’t know what to say to that. He could be an asshole, easily, and he had every reason to treat the demon that way, the goddamn bastard. There was no way bringing any of these beasts back to Earth was a good idea.

‘We still need to go,’ he just said instead.

The N’Garai at the front finally moved after a little bit of coaxing, and the other three didn’t seem to have the same trouble following Kierrok afterwards. Finally.

Steve turned back around to follow Thor, who was waiting for them. Loki seemed to be focused on Chthon only, just staring at him. Natasha and Clint were very close to the barrier now, Sam already talking to them from inside of it, waving his arms around a bit, telling them something. Steve’s eyes locked onto the tall woman he didn’t notice earlier, standing in one of the corners of the barrier. He couldn’t see her eyes, but her head was turned towards Chthon. Steve wanted to question who she was straight away, but something about the shape of her jaw, and the tone of her skin made him think of Leah, as strange as it was. But between the wolf and the Serpent... nothing surprised him anymore. Both Clint and Natasha stepped through the barrier, finally in safety.

The rest of them made their way forward quickly, only Loki stood still, waiting and watching. Steve kept his eyes either on the crumbling ground or Chthon, two of the things that were most likely to kill him at this point. Thor was just a few steps ahead of him, and he could also hear Kierrok and the N’Garai following him. The adrenaline was no longer pumping that heavily in his veins, and despite his superhuman stamina, he was starting to feel tired. It wasn’t just soreness in his muscles. He was exhausted, maybe more in spirit than bone, and he knew he couldn’t rest, not yet, probably not for a long while yet.

He heard Chthon shout loudly, his power making everything tremble around them.

‘I killed you!’ Steve heard, now close enough to make out the words. ‘I was better, I was stronger! I _deserved_ your power!’

He was shouting at the shades, but he was more angry now, his power literally making the air feel different around them, and that damn squeeze around Steve’s chest was back. He did his best to ignore it. He stared at Chthon as scorching energy kept building and building around him, the air vibrating unnaturally, the ground falling to pieces. Then the shades vanished, all at once, and Chthon’s eyes landed on them straight away. There was nothing to do, nowhere to dodge or hide from him, at least not for Steve. So he did the best he could, and braced himself for whatever was coming.

Chthon vanished out of sight, or at least the shape of Yelena did, because the demon’s power was still humming in the air. He was still here.

The energy swept past Steve without leaving a scratch, and he heard the N’Garai make sounds first, than he heard a shout in Bucky’s voice. Steve turned and moved immediately, because something invisible was pulling Kierrok away, down into the depths that was exposed by the destruction of the Serpent. Steve leaped forward and grabbed onto his metal arm, but it was not enough to slow them down, so he was just dragged along. He saw two of the N’Garai disappear, while the other two were strong enough to dig their claws into the ground to hold on. Steve didn’t have that kind of strength, but he was not going to let Bucky fall with Kierrok, he refused to let it happen.

They were way too close to the edge when a strong arm grabbed Steve, halting their slide into the black void. Steve saw Thor’s red cape even before he glanced back. He turned his arm to grab hold of Thor’s arm in return, securing the hold the other had on him. That power though, it was still there, still trying to drag Kierrok away, Chthon certainly not willing to let him escape.

There was an enormous crash somewhere behind them, thunderous like an avalanche or a building collapsing, and a cloud of dust covered them all the next second. Steve couldn’t turn his head enough to see what was going on.

‘It’s the Serpent!’ yelled Thor. Loki said he was going to destroy this whole world and it didn’t seem like he was exaggerating at all. Steve wondered if this serpent could somehow force Chthon to let go of Kierrok.

One of the N’Garai crawled closer to Kierrok, wanting to help him maybe, but the movement dislodged its claws and the beast plunged into darkness a moment later. Kierrok looked back to stare as it vanished, his face furious.

Steve had no idea what to do besides to hold on, because it didn’t seem like they could pull Kierrok back completely. He didn’t know if there was any way they could just force the demon out of Bucky right now, and Steve knew Kierrok was not going to leave on its own, not when possessing Bucky was the only thing that kept him alive. This was probably the worst Chthon could do to him right now.

‘I cannot defeat this dark magic,’ Thor said. ‘I cannot fight it!’

Inch by inch, but they were slowly dragged closer to the darkness, even Thor’s strength not fully matching up to whatever Chthon was doing.

Steve was not going to lose Bucky like this. He just couldn’t... he couldn’t let go.

Magic. It was magic, they couldn’t fight it with brute strength. He looked around, trying to spot Loki again, but he couldn’t see him with all the dust still around. He didn’t check where he went when Chthon dispersed the shades. Where the hell was he when they needed him, dammit?!

‘Loki!’ he shouted, hoping he was nearby... somewhere.

The ground shook again and they slipped a few feet before Thor found a good grip on the ground again. Steve didn’t let go and Kierrok held onto him too as the final N’Garai plummeted into the depths next to them.

‘No!’ Kierrok shouted, even reaching out with an arm, to maybe grab the thing before it was swallowed up by the darkness, but he was too far away.

‘Loki!’ Steve tried again, not really hoping that it would work at this point.

But of course that’s when a hand wrapped around Bucky’s metal arm right next to Steve’s, as Loki materialised out of nowhere, pressed up to Steve’s side.

‘You took your sweet time,’ Steve commented. ‘Do something!’

‘We don’t have much time, so do exactly as I tell you,’ Loki said.

‘Fine, whatever, just do it.’

‘When I tell you,’ Loki said. ‘Let go of him.’

‘What? No!’

‘I won’t let him fall,’ Loki told him.

Steve just kept staring at him, his sweaty hand incredibly tight around the metal plates of Bucky’s arm.

‘Trust me.’

Oh, Steve wished Loki didn’t say that, because he didn’t think he could, not with Bucky’s life. Maybe with his own, maybe with a lot of things at this point, but Bucky?

Loki just stared back at him, willing him to listen probably, then turned to look down at Kierrok. Loki’s face was white as a sheet, stark in contrast with his red hair. Something faintly orange burnt beneath his skin, like amber. Some magic again.

‘Now!’ Loki ordered.

 _Goddammit!_ Steve let go.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologise for the cliffhanger. I mean it, but it's the perfect moment to switch POV, you'll see.


	58. Chapter 58

His magic was like a living flame, but it did not burn, not this time. The hand holding onto him went limp just a moment after the Captain let go, but Loki held on. Chthon was still there, not in the flesh at the moment, but his power, holding onto his creation with vicious claws to make sure he perished, but Loki was more than just an Asgardian or a Jotun, he was so much more now. He could stand his ground against the demon god, he could fight his might with his own. And of course, he could use a little trick to tip the odds in his own favour. So when the flames vanished and the eyes below popped open, Loki stared at steel blue instead of yellow.

James came to very suddenly, gaining control over his body in but a few seconds, and his hand immediately gripped Loki back tightly, even before he looked around. Then the sigils and runes on his arm flared up even brighter, and Loki felt a wave of Jord’s pure power, protecting her chosen even from far away. Chthon’s grip snapped.

James dropped back down on the ground with a thud, but he didn’t let go of Loki right away. Loki pulled him away from the edge… just to be sure. The swirling darkness Chthon conjured up in the depths of this world was still very much a threat.

‘Bucky!’ The Captain yelled, obviously noticing the change, seeing that it was no longer Kierrok staring at them. Loki decided not to bother explaining the details and how very close the demons still was, there was no time for such a thing.

The Captain grabbed hold of James, who still seemed dazed and confused, and pulled him into his arms. Loki let go, so did Thor.

‘Where... what the hell...’

‘Thank God you’re okay,’ the Captain said. ‘Shit.’

James pulled back from him to look around, at the crumbling world of flames, their battle worn appearance. He was understandably shocked.

‘What do you remember?’ Loki asked him.

‘I... we found the control room, then I was... something grabbed me, and I was somewhere else. Chthon was there and...’ his face closed off, turning hard like steel to keep all his emotions hidden. He obviously realised that a lot of time must’ve passed that he could not recall at all. After everything that’s been done to him, he was probably all too familiar with how he felt right now. ‘Did I... did I hurt anyone?’ he asked, his voice calm, but too quiet.

‘No, Buck, you didn’t, you didn’t do anything,’ the Captain hastily reassured him. James did not seem to believe him entirely. He glanced over to Loki for confirmation.

‘You’re possessed, but your mind has not been touched,’ Loki told him. The expression on James’ face spoke louder than words ever could.

‘So just my body then this time…’ he said bitterly. It was still a violation, only a different sort. Loki did not offer reassurances. This was neither the place nor the time. James was already getting back to his feet, despite the bloody wounds that surely caused him pain. He was silent now, determined. Just like Loki expected. He only ever dealt with the horrors inside his mind when he was somewhere safe. He would care not for comfort or encouragement right now, for his composure was his armour that always kept him walking.

The Captain reached out to get an arm around James, but he brushed his hand aside with a curt, ‘I can walk.’

‘Then you should get going,’ Loki said.

They needed to hurry. Loki felt Chthon’s presence everywhere around them; he was in the back of his mind, the surface of his skin, in the ground beneath his feet. The demon must’ve realised how broken and fragile his world has become, because now he tried to hold it together. And Chthon might’ve been ancient, but so was the Serpent. The demon couldn’t just flick his hand and stop it.

The Serpent itself was not linked to Loki in blood and soul, like it was in some faraway world, but Loki could still feel its every movement, just like he felt the Wolf before. It was daunting to even imagine a world where he wielded such powers. It would surely drive him mad, maybe it was bound to do it even here.

And Leah, oh how different it was now to even look at her. She felt... amplified, transformed into something no less dangerous than the Serpent tearing this world apart. Loki did not understand why he even mattered to her, why she offered help, kindness... why she cared for him at all. In that dark future he saw... he knew her, but that old wretched shadow that Loki became clearly did not earn her kindness, the opposite seemed more likely.

They were all powers much beyond him, but laid at his feet, put into his hands. It was easy to taunt his enemy, to march with confidence... yet failure was like a dark beast howling in his mind. Never mind his current appearance – which had to be a mimicry of the true God these ancient beings followed – he was not truly that Loki... and he failed every time before. He failed in Asgard, failed in Midgard... failed... and failed again.

‘Loki, what do we do now?’ Thor asked, startling him out of his own head.

‘Take James back to the barrier, and quickly,’ Loki said.

‘I can get there on my own,’ James said.

‘Not fast enough...’ Loki told him as he turned back around. ‘Kierrok possessed you, and he is not gone, I just forced him down.’

James’ eyes widened a fraction before he could make himself stop, and the Captain seemed even more horrified. Loki was still bound by the deal he made with the demon, this shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise.

‘Kierrok will crawl his way back up, and then we will be back to what just happened... you need to get behind that barrier. Now.’

James stared at him for a moment, but he clearly realised it would be foolish to argue, so he nodded firmly.

‘Thor, take him. Fly, it’s faster.’

‘We’ll be right behind you,’ the Captain said before either James or Thor could say a word.

‘Very well,’ Thor nodded.

‘You better hurry,’ James said as Thor gripped him around his middle, mindful of his wounds.

Thor spun his hammer and launched into the air straight away. The Captain looked over to Loki.

‘We _are_ going to be right behind them, right?’ he asked with an arched eyebrow.

Loki smiled for but a moment. ‘You are, so go.’

‘No, what are you doing? We did what we came here for.’

‘Chthon is not here because he finally realised that this world is falling to pieces,’ Loki said. ‘I will not let him stop what has started.’

‘Why? We could just go!’

‘It might not matter to you how long it takes him to try again, but I don’t want to face him again in but a few short centuries. As soon as he has new followers, I will be the first target. The threads of this reality are now damaged, if only a few more of them snap everything will fall. I can finish this.’

Loki locked eyes on where Thor and James landed next to the barrier. James stood firmly on his feet, but even from afar Loki could see the strain in his body. He was too wounded and exhausted to keep going for much longer, so it was actually a relief to see him step through the barrier. The sentiment was maybe odd, but probably not unexpected.

‘Thor won’t leave without you,’ the Captain said.

‘I know,’ Loki agreed. Then he lifted a hand and called upon the flames. He couldn’t tell whether the fire he could summon at will was still his own or the hellfire he stole from Chthon’s Darkholder. Maybe this should’ve worried him, but the fire still felt the same, so he didn’t.

Flames erupted all around the triangular barrier. Thor leaped back in alarm, and slipped right through the barrier at the same time, into safety. Loki let the flames vanish in a blink, and it took Thor only a moment to realise what really happened. He looked back up and sent a thunderous look Loki’s way.

‘That was unnecessary,’ the Captain commented. He did not look all too concerned about what Loki just did.

‘He’s stubborn,’ Loki said as he turned away from Thor’s anger. His brother could rage all he wanted, but this was for the best. The Serpent would soon finish what it came here for and Loki knew it in his bones that Thor should be very far away from that. It was pointless to argue with him, it’s always been.

‘You must go now,’ Loki said then. ‘There’s nothing you can do.’

‘Don’t get killed,’ the Captain said.

Not even a second passed when Loki felt Chthon draw near again. Loki reached for the Captain and grabbed his arm before he could take another step. He called upon the Serpent, but he knew he would need to stand his own ground first if he wanted to survive.

‘What?’

‘It’s unfortunate, but you will have to stay very close for now,’ Loki said. ‘We were too slow.’

Protective barriers and runes were not something Loki was particularly skilled at, but the sheer power at his fingertips would compensate for the lack of innate talent. The Captain eyed the circle that burnt itself into the ground around them. He moved closer to Loki, turning so that they stood back-to-back.

‘What do I do?’ he asked then.

‘Move when I tell you,’ Loki said simply.

Just as the dark void from below spread out around them, the piece of land they stood on lifted up into the air with a mighty crack. The speed was not too great, but even Loki had to balance well to keep upright. Other broken pieces of land started floating as well, the errant energies in this realm causing gravitational force to finally stop working correctly. The already grey sky and horizon ceased to exist and now it was the same endless void both above and below them. Loki did not need to glance at the barrier, he knew it would be the single most stable spot in this whole world. The magic that Leah conjured up was incredibly powerful.

It was really quite a sight, watching things fall completely apart, and it felt even better. Chthon’s might was still pulling the pieces back together, keeping hold of reality, while the Serpent consumed everything, squeezing and breaking the world apart. Destruction for its own sake never entertained Loki, but this was different, this was glorious.

The Serpent moved and shifted below them again, a lot more of it visible now that so much of the world was in shambles or simply gone. The sheer size, the might, all of that incredible power left even Loki in awe. It was not even real flesh and blood, just a manifestation of the great beast and yet… no god could stand a chance, and especially not a demon.

‘I hope you don’t mind heights, Captain.’

Loki felt him shift behind him, no doubt looking around from their new vantage point. He also surely realised the grave danger he was in, but he had a warrior’s heart and his voice was unchanged when he spoke, no dread or hopeless panic.

‘Y’know, I think you should really just call me Steve.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind,’ Loki responded, amused.

He spotted Chthon then, still in the shape of that woman, but whatever magic kept his shape contained in this form was obviously failing. Maybe he was even more connected to this world he created than Loki suspected. Oh, wouldn’t that be just perfect? Obviously, making this world and the creatures on it was a demonstration of power. He wouldn’t have made it so grand if it was simply a place of refuge. How it must’ve angered him that Loki had the means to destroy it, especially if it hurt more than just his pride.

‘You should’ve run,’ Chthon said. He stood on a broken piece of land as well.

‘I don’t need to run from you,’ Loki responded.

Chthon’s eyes bore into him, the gaze nothing like a human’s. There was so much anger in those eyes, an all-consuming rage Loki knew all too well. It was something he could use. He strengthened the ward, feeding it with fire, not looking away from the demon god for even a moment. No matter what Chthon said, or how confident he still looked, if he really thought Loki was easy to defeat he would have moved already. No, he was cautious now, he did not truly know what Loki was capable of. So they both just stood there, waiting to see what the other would do. And oh, Loki could hold his ground, meet that ancient gaze with a scowl, but he never faced an opponent greater than this.

‘Do you see the path that leads to the barrier?’ he asked quietly. There were more than enough broken pieces of land floating everywhere around them.

‘I wouldn’t call it a path, but I can make it,’ Steve said.

‘Don’t look back, just run,’ Loki told him. ‘Believe me, it’s not a mistake you want to make.’

‘Your plans are so much worse than mine.’

‘We’ll have to discuss that at another time,’ Loki told him. If there was going to be another time.

Battle did not invigorate him, like it did Thor. His brother always firmly believed that he could win, if he just fought hard enough, but the world did not work like that for Loki. Some fights were unfair. Some enemies were too great to defeat. Sometimes you had no choice but to grab all and every opportunity to tip the scales in your favour somehow. Lies, trickery, magic… anything at all. And Loki did all he could to prepare for this moment he truly hoped would not come. He bled and suffered and greeted Mistress Death more times than he would’ve liked. He’s done all he could, the destruction around them was a testament to that.

Facing off against a vast ancient power like Chthon was still foolish, one of the stupidest things Loki has ever done, but damn, his blood sung in his veins and he felt taller than ever.

Then The Serpent rose up and Loki yelled, ‘Run!’

Chthon vanished to get out of the way of the giant body of the Serpent, while Loki followed Steve. The Captain expertly jumped over to the closest piece of land, and didn’t stop for a second before he leaped off to reach the next one. Some of the floating stones were too small for two, almost too small for one, so they barely touched them with their feet before jumping to the next.

‘Thor would’ve been real helpful here!’ Steve yelled when Loki was close enough. He remarkably ignored the horrible endless depth below and certain death right behind them. And yes, maybe Thor could fly, but he probably would’ve turned back to fight Chthon head on. No, that was not the way to handle this.

Loki felt Chthon approach, so he had time to brace himself and throw up the strongest protection he could conjure up by sheer will. The big piece of land he stood on still shattered into pieces and Loki only saw the blonde locks of the woman as the demon god tried to grab hold of him. No amount of fire or ice would be strong enough to shake the god off, but there were other means to fight back. Or rather, not fight at all.

He summoned up several of his best illusions and he let them all leap in different directions, while he dodged as well. The magic would not last for long, but it was enough to avoid Chthon’s grasp for the moment. The fact that the demon still had to fight the Serpent’s destruction certainly helped.

Loki was linked to his doubles and he knew when one of them vanished, so he could almost count back the seconds he had left to get as far as possible. He got as much distance between himself and the demon as he could. He wished he still had his sword, but he would have to do without. Not ideal, but also not impossible. If Chthon lost even a fraction of the focus he had on his world, then the Serpent would finish what it started. Loki needed to be a big enough distraction to achieve that.

Chthon found him before the last double vanished, and this time Loki was too slow to react. The touch instantly burnt him, but not his skin or flesh, the pain seeped much deeper. Chthon didn’t just want to destroy him, he wanted to make him suffer first. Well, Loki could handle a little pain if it gave him more time

‘What are you?’ Chthon hissed, the female voice now completely distorted, almost unrecognisable. ‘Who are you to call upon such power? Who gave it to you?’

‘You still hope to find someone else to blame?’ Loki asked in return, keeping his voice even despite the scorching pain in his body. ‘You thought so little of me, yet here you are, almost on your knees. That must hurt.’

Chthon’s power was immense and the pain he caused was just as great, but Loki still stared into his eyes and let his lips stretch out into a smile. Chthon didn’t try to kill him. So maybe he truly believed someone else was pulling Loki’s strings and he wanted answers, or he feared death would only give Loki a quick means to escape from this place. Whatever the reason, it suited Loki just fine.

‘You might’ve been one of the greatest powers in all the Realms, but you are not that god anymore. You and I both know that,’ Loki taunted.

‘Silence!’ Chthon growled angrily. He was all too easy in this state.

‘The world is now different, while you are still the same. Beaten... your power crippled by your sister!’

The pain intensified, but Loki could keep going. There was only so much Chthon could do in this moment without killing him.

‘Do you still fear her?’Loki continued. ‘Do you have nightmares of her son burning you to ashes?’

‘I will enjoy your suffering, trickster. I look forward to the moment you beg for my mercy!’

‘Are you scared she gave me even a flicker of Atum’s might?’ Loki grinned.

That did it. The demon god snarled in his fury and Loki immediately felt like his bones were melting inside his body. There was no greater threat to Chthon than Jord’s son, Atum, the Demogorge. Loki was not the mighty God-Eater and neither was the Serpent, but they certainly did enough destruction to remind Chthon of his all-powerful nephew. If tales and legends were to be believed, Atum still lived somewhere on Midgard’s Sun, but that was not a place Loki could search, for obvious reasons. Loki couldn’t even imagine such power, that not even a burning star could harm him. He entertained the thought when all of this started, finding a way to summon the Demogorge to fight this battle, but Loki suspected that if he truly still lived and he appeared, then a lot more would burn than just Chthon.

Loki felt the Serpent move again, finally tearing the threads of this world apart, ripping the last shred of control from Chthon’s grip. The demon realised it a few moments too late. Loki swiftly called upon the power that still thrummed inside of him. This was either going to be his grand victory or his final moments. Either way, there was no point holding back now. He called upon fire, and he called upon ice, reached deep within his core to tear himself away from Chthon.

More and more of the great floating lands vanished into nothing, and all Loki saw was the empty void and the Serpent. For a moment he was sure it was all for naught and he couldn’t set himself free, but something else descended down upon them. Chthon wretched himself away as soon as the figure leaped at him. It took Loki a moment to understand. Chthon couldn’t get rid of all the spirits Leah let through the gate. Some still haunted this place as it was swallowed by nothingness, thirsting for their revenge.

The form of Yelena Belova finally crumbled, the human-like form no longer linked to Chthon’s being. Loki saw a great shadow first, two arms with too many fingers, black like burnt branches. There were at least three faces, rapidly shifting, first three red eyes and jagged scars, then empty white eyes with a face like flawless marble, and then just deep darkness and an angry grey mouth with long teeth. A cloud of dust wrapped around the demon god like a hood and a cloak. He was enormous. He disintegrated the angry spirit in but a few moments, then he lunged down into the depths towards the Serpent.

Loki ran. His skin was blue in patches, he could feel it, his body not quite sure of what it wanted to do, burn like an open flame or freeze everything it touched. He would have been amused by the contradiction if he weren’t fighting for his life.

Pieces of the land vanished as soon as Loki jumped down from them, the very edge of the void lapping at his feet. He wondered if he was fast enough to outrun it. He did not plan to die with this world, not after this long fight. A little luck, that’s all he needed, a small gift from Fate, which was never kind to him. He lost his footing as soon as he landed on the next piece of land, most of it crumbling to dust before he could jump again. He let one of his throwing knives slide out from his sleeve, stabbing the hard rock that was still in front of him, trying to get a good grip in any way.

He saw the colour blue before a hand grabbed him hard to stop his fall. His shoulder ached from the abrupt stop. Loki stabbed his knife into the stone before he looked up...

Oh, for Norn’s sake!

‘What in the Nine are you doing?!’ he asked incredulously. The Captain must’ve dived after him to catch him in time, because he was half hanging off the cliff himself. ‘You were supposed to be behind that barrier by now!’ Loki yelled, but he pulled himself up a bit at the same time to get moving, gripping his small knife tightly. The Serpent was close, this piece of land could vanish any moment. Loki called upon a warding spell, maybe it would not work at all, but it might just keep this piece of rock together long enough.

Steve moved back to pull him up and huffed out a laugh of all things.

‘This is probably a bad time to tell you this, but I actually have a bad track record of following orders.’

‘James was right, you are a reckless fool,’ Loki told him. What possessed him to wait and face almost certain death? Why would he waste even a second to look back, let alone to do this? Stupid heroics... Loki would never fully understand.

Steve was strong enough to pull him back up even without having much leverage, and Loki grabbed the edge of the floating piece of land as soon as he reached it. It was easy to climb back on after that.

‘You’re heavier than you look,’ was all Steve said as he let go of him.

The barrier was now close enough that Loki could see the faces of everyone inside. James looked somewhere between furious and worried beyond words, while Leah didn’t look at him at all, but that was expected, she had to focus. And Thor was... well, “anger” did not seem adequate.

Loki looked around swiftly. The barrier was close, but not close enough for Steve to jump, too much of this world was gone by now.

‘I’m going to throw you,’ Loki announced.

‘You what?’ Steve questioned, but Loki just grabbed hold of his arm.

‘Ready?’ he asked as a courtesy, but he didn’t wait for an answer. He spun around and threw the man across the gaping abyss towards the barrier. He couldn’t believe he had to personally shove these stubborn fools into safety.

Steve landed on the edge of the barrier, but close enough for his arm to land inside and both Thor and the Falcon grabbed hold of him immediately, pulling him in. James moved towards him too, much slower than the other two due to his injuries.

Chthon was still too close but the Serpent stood in his way. It had to be enough. Loki took a few steps back for a running start and wasted no time.

He was still in the air when Chthon returned, much quicker than Loki thought it was possible. The great shadow and the cloud of dust was all around him within a second. He was suspended in the air immediately, not able to move forward another inch. Chthon’s hold on him was impossibly strong. No, not this close, not now. He could escape Chthon before, he could fight him, why not now?

‘Oh, did you really think you could put your hand on my Darkhold without consequences, trickster?’ This was Chthon’s true voice, deep enough that the sound vibrated in Loki’s chest, but the words themselves landed somewhere even deeper. He couldn’t see Chthon, he was just a voice in the darkness. Loki refused to show fear.

‘No, you have no power over me!’ Loki told him.

‘My spells are not just spells, you knew that,’ Chthon said. The world was still crumbling apart, but Chthon must’ve given up on it now. All of his attention was very firmly on Loki now. ‘If you use my book, you use my power... arrogant to think it could be any other way.’

‘You would’ve done this much sooner if that were true,’ Loki argued back. He was not some wretched Darkholder!

‘I would’ve done this much sooner if I thought you were truly a threat...’ Chthon replied. ‘But now you’ve convinced me. You’ve angered me, and in my fury I’ve made mistakes. Not something I have done in a very long time, and it cost me dearly. Now you’ve destroyed my world, killed my loyal Darkholders, you let that traitor Kierrok escape... you thwarted all my plans, stole me of my freedom... oh godling, now you have my undivided attention.’

Had it not sounded like a death sentence, Loki would’ve been proud to be recognised as someone to fear, someone not even an ancient being like Chthon could ignore. Well no, even with the proverbial blade at his throat he still wanted to choose pride over fear. It sounded like a much better final thought.

‘Give it your best shot, demon,’ Loki told him firmly.

There was a rumble, a sound from Chthon Loki could not interpret, and no further words followed. The pain he felt before when Chthon touched him returned and flames erupted everywhere around him without conscious thought or effort. He couldn’t feel the Serpent but maybe it was still close enough, maybe Leah could help... maybe... oh maybe he had none but himself to lean on. Still, he fought. He couldn’t even hope to understand right away what Chthon attempted to do, but he fought.

The barrier came into view when some of the dark shadows thinned in front of him. His muscles strained as he tried to move. He was so close! Then there was a crack, a sharp strange sound that made his skull ache deeply, like something smashed into it. Then he was moving through the air again, the Serpent’s giant body once again in the corner of his eye. He grabbed the edge of the final piece of land where the triangular barrier was.

‘Brother, quickly!’ Thor shouted for him, urging him on.

Loki felt dazed and his ears rang from that noise still, his vision a little blurry. He did not know what happened. All his muscles trembled from strain and his bones were screaming in pain. Did the Serpent reach Chthon again? Another spirit?

Loki blinked rapidly as he pulled himself up, trying to clear his vision and move towards the barrier. Something was wrong, he could tell. Chthon did something to him, but what? Loki looked down at his dirty hands as soon as he climbed up. His skin was still blue in a few places, and his fingers were shaking too, all of his veins protruding darkly. Something was wrong, something...

‘Loki!’ Thor shouted again.

Loki got to his feet and took a step forward, the barrier now close enough to touch.

‘What are you waiting for?’ James asked him. ‘Move already!’

Chthon wouldn’t have let him go right after he finally managed to capture him. Loki had to be cautious. He shut his eyes when his vision went blurry again, focusing on himself to find out what was wrong, he listened to his own heartbeat, the air in his lungs, and the thrum of his magic.

Then he knew.

‘I know you are here,’ he said.

Chthon sounded angry when he spoke, but also viciously satisfied.

‘So what will it be, godling?’ he asked, his voice a rumble in the back of Loki’s mind. ‘You follow me, or I follow you?’

Damn. Loki let out a breath as his shoulders sagged a little. Then he opened his eyes again. Just a few more feet to the barrier, that’s how close he got. Damn the Norns and damn this miserable place.

‘Loki, move!’ Thor yelled at him, his palm pressed up to the barrier. He would’ve reached through for him, if it were possible.

There really was not much Loki could say to him, so he looked at Leah instead.

‘Go.’

‘Loki...’ she said. Loki couldn’t see her eyes, he knew she was searching for his reason right away.

‘What the hell do you mean go?’ James demanded. ‘Just come on!’

It would’ve been easy to be cruel. To remind him what the Darkhold was, what it did, how profoundly it linked Chthon to his Darkholders. Why Chthon’s power was like poison in someone’s veins. He could tell Leah that she was right, that it was foolish to think that Chthon wouldn’t use this against him eventually. But there was no point.

‘I’ll find a way,’ he said and ignored Chthon’s laugh in his head. Victories were never handed to Loki, he had to fight for them with blood and tears. Fate was not done being cruel to him, he should’ve known that.

‘Loki, no... no!’ Leah shouted then, when she finally realised the finality in the words. Her voice was so strange like this, no longer a girl’s. There was sorrow in her tone too, not just anger. Loki maybe shouldn’t have been surprised to hear it.

‘I won’t find you,’ she said.

‘I’ll find you instead,’ Loki told her.

‘Brother, what are you doing? Please, just step across,’ Thor asked, his eyes too wide, his anger from before gone. Loki had seen that look on his face before, on the Bifrost, it was not one of his most pleasant memories.

‘I will find a way,’ he repeated more firmly. ‘Now go.’

‘No, why?!’ James protested, but Leah knew there was no point, so she didn’t.

Loki inched just a little closer and watched how all the runes lit up on James’ arm again, glowing brightly.

‘That’s why,’ he said simply.

He didn’t get an answer, Chthon’s world collapsed, the last remains swallowed up by the void of space, and they were all gone, just like that. No more sounds, no more light, there was only darkness now, just Loki and an angry demon god.

‘I will try again, and I will enjoy your suffering in the meantime,’ Chthon whispered.

‘No, you won’t,’ Loki told him. ‘You will follow me.’

It made Loki laugh, that moment of utter confusion he felt from the demon, that one second of baffled silence that told him he managed to shock this old creature again. Then he let himself fall deep down into nothingness, where the Serpent coiled. Chthon should’ve known to never give an ultimatum to a trickster, and to never use a weapon that could cut both ways. He threatened to follow Loki, so follow him he would, whether he was willing or not, deep into the inky black, down the Serpent’s mouth, and to Mistress Death.

* * *


	59. Chapter 59

One moment they were in the middle of nothingness, the next they were in a cave. The barrier was gone, and so was Loki. Just like that. It was suddenly so quiet. Bucky heard the sound of his own breathing first, then the sounds coming from The Avengers. There was light coming from above, so they couldn’t be that deep underground, but Bucky didn’t have time to look around and take in their surroundings.

Doctor Strange, Wanda, Vision and Leah all crumbled at the same time, like puppets held up by the same string. Pietro caught his sister, while some of the other Avengers moved closer to Vision and Strange. Bucky just stared at the spot where Loki stood a moment ago. The marks from his metal arm were now gone, not even a flicker of light left. What the hell just happened?

‘No, no, no!’ Leah said angrily. Bucky turned towards her, a question already on the tip of his tongue... then the world turned yellow and he stood up and moved back... no his legs did, his legs moved. He didn’t want to move, but his legs still kept walking away from the rest of the group... everything was going fuzzy, the edge of his vision turning black.

‘Buck?’ Steve called, reaching out towards him. ‘Bucky!’

Loki said he was possessed. He had to fight this! He didn’t want to black out again, he had to see... he had to know... He couldn’t be some demon’s puppet! There was a pull, an odd sensation that started in his stomach, then crawled up to his chest. His skin started hurting, he felt millions of pins and needles everywhere at once. He fought to stay awake, he fought so damn hard.

Then his legs gave out and the cold stone floor of the cave rushed towards him. He landed in an ungraceful heap, barely managing to put up his metal arm in time to avoid hitting his head. He could feel his fingers again, his limbs following his commands, but it hurt like a bitch. What did this demon bastard do to him?

There was something right above him, he realised. Something really warm and way too big. He could feel the presence, the warmth, the subtle movements. He felt a hot huff of air on the back of his sweaty neck and a deep grumbling sound. He scrambled to get away from the thing immediately, forcing his muscles to work. The movement turned his stomach and he had to focus really hard to not throw up right there and then.

Then Steve was there... and then Thor. Steve grabbed his arms and helped him get away from whatever was behind him, while Thor moved to cover his back.

‘Unharmed, as promised,’ said a growly voice. The words were off, like he spoke with a full mouth... or a mouth full of teeth that was not meant for human words.

Bucky finally managed to turn around and look at the thing. It was similar to a N’Garai, but at least twice as big, and its skin deep dark red instead of grey. The claws and the horns were identical, even the mouth full of teeth, as Bucky suspected, but this thing only had one giant yellow eye, instead of two red ones.

Kierrok. Loki said, he was possessed by Kierrok. Bucky knew that he was the Master of the N’Garai, but he didn’t expect him to look almost exactly like those beasts. Thor looked ready to fight, but Kierrok held up his a clawed hands, as a sign of peace.

‘Loki did what he promised,’ Kierrok said. ‘I am free... so I will keep my word as well. You will not see me again.’

‘Your old Master... where is he?’ Leah asked.

‘I cannot tell,’ Kierrok answered. ‘If he lives, he is far away. The Other-Realm is gone, that much I know for certain. The demons that still lived perished with it, and I am glad for it.’

‘Remember your oath to Loki, Kierrok,’ Leah warned.

‘I will,’ the demon responded.

‘Can we really just let him go like--’ Natasha spoke up, but Kierrok vanished before she could finish.

‘How the hell did he do that?’ Sam asked, looking around the cave. He wasn’t the only one, but it really looked like the demon was gone completely.

‘He’s powerful,’ Strange said simply.

‘Is this going to come back to bite us in the ass?’ Natasha turned to look at the sorcerer.

‘We’ll cross that bridge and all that,’ Strange answered. He sounded tired, but not overly concerned.

‘Anymore deadly surprises I should prepare my heart for?’ Stark asked. ‘I would really rather survive this whole ordeal.’ Nobody offered any reassurances. Stark looked like he needed a doctor, and probably soon.

‘Okay, can we call for help from here?’ Wilson asked, staring up at the sky through the gaping hole above. ‘Someone to pick us up maybe?’

‘I’m on it,’ Natasha said, pulling something from her belt.

‘I knew I liked your girl scout preparedness for a reason,’ Stark smiled. 

‘Buck, you okay?’ Steve asked, moving to get his head in Bucky’s line of sight again. ‘Look at me.’

‘I’m okay,’ Bucky answered, giving him a nod. He had no idea what his expression looked like, but going by Steve’s frown, probably not all that good. He didn’t really know how he felt... confused, worn out... violated. None of those feelings were new to him, but that didn’t mean they were any easier to deal with. He could still taste some bile at the back of his throat, but he no longer felt like throwing up. His skin felt uncomfortable, but not painful. He was... fine, he would live.

Wanda, Strange and Vision all looked okay, even though only Vision got back to his feet so far. Leah just kept staring at the ground, her hands clenched tight into fists, muttering something.

‘Leah...’ he spoke, then he stood up to walk over to her when he didn’t get a response, ignoring the brief moment of nausea. He needed answers and she had to have some. ‘What the hell happened there? Chthon got him, right?’

‘It wasn’t supposed to...’ she said. ‘That’s not how it was supposed to happen!’

‘What the hell was supposed to happen then?’ Bucky asked. ‘Because maybe I was out for most of it, but it sure looked like things turned into a complete shitshow! Where the hell is Loki?’

‘Can we get to my brother?’ Thor asked, stepping closer again now that Kierrok was gone. ‘The demon said Chthon’s world is gone, but are they still fighting this battle? We must aid Loki then.’

‘No, it’s over... it’s done. There’s nothing you can do,’ Leah said. ‘He’s gone... far beyond our reach.’

‘If you tell me where to look--’ Strange said. He was still sitting on the hard stone, but it seemed like he was willing to keep going.

‘No, he’s gone!’ Leah shut him up harshly.

‘Are you really that sure?’ Bucky asked.

She turned her head finally. The top half of her was face still covered in black, but Bucky could still read her expression a little. It didn’t tell him anything good. Then she lifted one of her hands and Bucky watched as her flesh turned to sand, leaving only naked white bones.

‘I know,’ she said.

‘What the hell?’ Barton exclaimed, taking a few steps back, while Bucky immediately hurried closer.

‘What’s happening?’

Leah looked at him for a moment, then just sighed.

‘Loki and I are connected, our pasts and our futures. But I do not exist in this world, and I don’t know if I ever will. He anchored me to this existence, but he’s gone... so my time is up.’

She was vanishing, Bucky realised. He licked his lips before he spoke. He tasted dry blood.

‘Okay... so what do I do?’ he asked.

She seemed surprised that he asked, and Bucky had no idea why.

‘Nothing,’ she shook her head. ‘There’s nothing left to do, it’s over. You did what you were meant to do. You’ve won.’

‘I’ve won?! Are you shitting me? What the--’ Then he noticed more of her flesh turning into sand and his anger evaporated. He knelt down next to her, staring at her face for just a moment or two.

‘I thought I would...’ he didn’t like everyone listening to this, but there was no way around it. ‘This is not how I wanted this to happen.’

‘Yes, I know,’ she said. Maybe it was the adult voice, but Bucky could actually read emotions in her tone now. She sounded understanding, sad... maybe a little like she has given up. ‘None of us have power over the Norns, they have their ways to surprise us. I shouldn’t have hoped otherwise.’

Fate, yeah. Well Fate was a bitch. What in the world was he supposed to say to this?

‘It was the Darkhold pages, wasn’t it?’ Bucky asked, his throat dry. ‘That’s how Chthon got to him. If he hadn’t--’

‘Loki made his choices, James,’ Leah interrupted him. Which was a very clear answer, she didn’t need to spell it out for him. Dammit... just damn it all.

‘The woman... the host,’ Leah said then. ‘She still lives. You wanted to save her.’

‘Yelena?’ Bucky asked.

‘Where is she?’ Natasha demanded.

Leah was leaning on the hand that was still whole, so she lifted the one that was only bone, pointing at something. Bucky looked up to see what she was pointing at and he spotted a messy blonde head up on a bigger cliff a moment later. He couldn’t see anything else from her, just those locks against the stone. It would have been so easy to miss it, none of them noticed before Leah pointed it out. Seeing it was enough to get Natasha moving. Barton followed her right away and Strange got to this feet as well.

‘Wait, I want to make sure she is truly just human now,’ Strange said.

‘I’ll help you get her down,’ Vision offered.

‘What about help? Is it coming?’ Pietro yelled after them.

‘HELEN should have gotten my signal,’ Natasha called back.

Bucky watched as more sand fell to the ground, more of Leah vanishing. He was kind of glad to have a slightly smaller audience.

‘My brother is truly lost to us?’ Thor asked, crouching down next to Leah, setting his hammer down on the the stone. ‘But can he return? There is hope, right?’

‘Oh, there is always hope, it is Loki after all...’ Leah said. ‘And if anyone can believe against all odds, it’s you, Thunderer. But be warned, your hope might be forlorn.’

‘But the way he returned before, even from the clutches of death,’ Thor said. ‘Will that not happen again?’

‘Maybe, maybe not,’ Leah answered. ‘We don’t know where his body is, if it even exists any longer, so even if he returned, I wouldn’t know where to search for him.’

Thor didn’t like the answer, Bucky could tell, but he also knew that Leah had no other answer for him.

‘What’s going to happen to you?’ Bucky asked her.

‘I’m not... I was not meant to exist here, I tempted fate by interfering, but I had to try... and now the world will right itself. It’s not death if there was no life to begin with I suppose.’

More of her body seemed to crumble to sand and it didn’t look like she made any attempts to fight it. Bucky reached out without thought, putting a hand over the one she had on the ground. She lifted her head and gave him a long look.

‘Thank you,’ she said. And that... that didn’t make a goddamn sense!

‘You helped me more than I could ever help you,’ he told her. ‘You and Loki... I never could’ve done this on my own. The first N’Garai would’ve torn me to pieces. I never even said thank you properly--’

‘Not that,’ Leah interrupted gently. ‘You were kind to him, decent. It mattered. It made a difference. So thank you.’

Bucky opened his mouth again to say something, but he realised he had no idea what in the world he could say to that. He never went out of his way to act in any certain way, to be nice or kind. They were together to get a job done, Loki was his ally, so that’s how Bucky acted. They talked, they planned and argued, and they threw battlefield insults at each other’s heads. They were never even that overly friendly... but... he did give a damn about that arrogant angry idiot... maybe that’s all she meant.

Leah sucked in a breath as more of her body turned to sand, and Bucky knew that very soon she would be gone completely. The right side of her face was just naked bone now, even those long dark tendrils on her head withered and died. Bucky’s fingers tightened around her hand, and he hoped she felt no pain.

‘Hey... give Mistress Death a smile from me.’

That’s what he always told Loki when it happened, because it amused him. Leah just looked at him again for a moment, but then she smiled, and the smile turned into a laugh. She laughed still as the hand under Bucky’s hand turned to sand and more and more of her vanished. Bucky watched it happen and he was glad everyone else was silent. Because this way her laugh was the last thing that was left of her in this world. The sound vanished just a moment after she was gone.

* * *

Bucky didn’t say anything and didn’t really listen to anyone for quite a while. He knew Steve was right next to him, but he didn’t want to talk right now, and Steve must’ve picked up on that, because he didn’t attempt to coax anything out of him.

He watched as Vision carried Yelena back to them, but Bucky didn’t move to get any closer. He sincerely doubted Natasha wanted him anywhere near. Strange checked Yelena over once she was laid down on the ground, and Bucky tentatively listened to the conversation.

‘It’s incredibly hard to determine in cases like this what the problem might be,’ Strange said. ‘It could be physical, mental, or magical. There are no injuries I can detect, but I can’t do much else for her here.’

‘No, you did what you could. Thank you,’ Natasha said.

‘So, is she really human... no demon there?’ Wilson asked.

‘As far as I can tell,’ Strange said. ‘I do not know what the Darkholders did to her to make her more... suitable to be Chthon’s host. I can figure out more once she wakes up.’

‘So you think she will wake up?’ Natasha asked.

‘Physically she seems fine, but I we do need some good old fashioned medical tests to make sure everything is all right. Her brain especially, her blood, and her internal organs. She definitely needs to be under watch for a little while, just in case.’

‘Okay, sounds doable,’ Natasga said. ‘You think you can work with what we have at Stark Tower?’

‘Yes, it should be enough,’ Strange confirmed.

‘So, are we sure HELEN knows where we are now?’ Barton asked then. ‘How long do we have to wait here?’

‘If she got Romanoff’s signal, then yes, she knows,’ Stark said. ‘As to how long it might take, well... that depends on where the hell we are.’

‘I could get help,’ Vision said. ‘There ought to be something nearby.’

‘No, that would take too long,’ Thor said. ‘You all need doctors, we must all rest.’ He tipped his head back to stare up at the sky. ‘Surely, we are no longer hidden with the Darkholders gone.’

‘Okay, so what’s the plan?’ Sam asked.

‘Brunnhilde!’ Thor yelled. ‘Send us a skiff at once!’

Okay, Asgard. That was one way to do it. Thor must’ve been really impatient to get going, or maybe he just worried for everyone. He looked blank, but focused. He didn’t seem to want to show what he was thinking or feeling right now. Bucky could relate.

‘What’s a skiff?’ Steve asked.

‘It flies,’ Thor explained simply. And really, that was more than enough information.

Bucky finally took the time to look around properly, because there was nothing else to do. So he let the conversations around him fade into the background until it was just a faint noise. The walls were barren and so was the ground, no greens at all, just some blight and fungi here and there. It was entirely possible that the the hole in the ceiling was quite recent, but it was unclear what might’ve created it. This place was also much smaller than the giant lush cave they’ve first arrived in. Reality got confusing as soon as magic came into play, but that place still had to exist, since the security room and those turrets were all man-made.

Maybe this cave was somehow connected to that place, but there were no obvious doors or tunnels anywhere. Or maybe Bucky was too tired to spot anything important right now. He was also sure that some of The Avengers would return here eventually. Maybe to see what other secrets were hidden here, or to disable any remaining weaponry or security system. Bucky didn’t care one way or another, as long as nobody could use this place as a hideout again.

‘How are your wounds?’ Steve asked. Bucky turned his head to look at him. The expression on his face said that he’s been searching for a way to start a conversation. Bucky wanted to smile at his stupid big puppy eyes.

‘Not too bad,’ Bucky answered. He felt okay now that he was sitting. He knew moving would be painful, but all his wounds stopped bleeding as far as he could tell. ‘I just need to sleep and let it heal.’

‘If you want to go after Kierrok, I’m all for it,’ Steve said then. He was serious of course, willing to hunt down the demon for this, no matter what it took.

Bucky felt... well, his skin itched if he thought about the demon, his muscles tightened uncomfortably, but there was no hot burning rage in his gut.

‘Did he do anything?’ he asked. ‘Did he hurt any of you?’

‘No, but...’

‘I ain’t going on some wild goose chase for revenge,’ Bucky said. ‘I could go around the globe chasing the rest of Hydra and the Red Room for the rest of my goddamn life if I did that sort of shit.’

‘You did go after some Hydra bases,’ Steve said. ‘Even before you joined up with Loki.’

‘To get information about myself,’ Bucky said. ‘To stop what they were doing there now... to others. That crap about revenge and digging two graves is not just an empty platitude. I’m not signing up for that. If Kierrok stays the hell away from me, I won’t go looking for trouble.’

Steve looked at him for a moment, thoughtful.

‘You said something similar when Jerry Rizzo and his pals roughed you up for no goddamn reason. That this was the end of it, and you won’t go looking for trouble. I didn’t agree then, and I’m not sure I agree now.’

Bucky came up blank for a moment, and he almost opened his mouth to tell Steve that he couldn’t remember this. He even braced himself for that moment of disappointment in Steve’s eyes, when it finally clicked.

‘Jerry Rizzo thought I knocked up his sister! And I was right about not going after him, because when Ann came clean about who it really was, Jerry’s old man dragged his sorry ass over to me to apologise. And my Ma even got a discount in his shop afterwards, so it was a pretty good deal in the end.’

Steve stared at him in slight wonder, and maybe it was the fact that Bucky actually remembered this, or the slight tint of his old Brooklyn accent that returned to his voice automatically. He looked happy either way, something dark vanishing from his expression, the storm behind his blue eyes clearing up a bit. It was a good look, Bucky liked it.

‘Only you would say that getting a beat down is a good deal if you get a shopping discount out of it,’ he said.

‘You know that discount was no small deal for my family. If I kicked Jerry’s ass in revenge, his old man wouldn’t have been that generous.’

They argued about this back in the day. Steve was so full of righteous anger, wanting to march out and get his knuckles bloody over what happened... and probably get his skinny ass beaten.

‘Sometimes, you just gotta let things go, Steve,’ Bucky shrugged.

‘You only let things go when it’s about you,’ Steve told him. ‘So it’s my job to get angry then.’

‘You get angry about fucking everything,’ Bucky reminded him.

‘Now you’re just being mean,’ Steve told him.

Bucky didn’t say anything else, because Steve understood what he meant. Revenge solved goddamn nothing in the long run.

‘Kierrok made a deal with Loki because he wanted to get away from Chthon, right?’ Bucky asked. That’s what he gathered from everything.

‘And he promised to never help Chthon or any Darkholders ever,’ Steve nodded.

‘So there, it’s done. I don’t even remember it, it’s all just black.’

Bucky knew a thing or two about survival. If Kierrok walked up to Loki to ask for his help by offering a deal, then he was desperate, and despair was a powerful motivator. He could’ve done so much worse, but he didn’t, so that had to count for something from a demon like Kierrok.

‘Okay,’ nodded Steve. And if Kierrok started making trouble, Strange and the Avengers would be there to stand in his way, Bucky knew that for a fact.

The silence between them was a lot more pleasant now. Even with everything that just happened Bucky’s chest felt a little less tight, his heart not as heavy.

‘There!’ Wanda yelled, pointing up.

Bucky saw some swirling dark clouds above, then a bright pillar of light descended from the sky. He never saw the Bifrost before, but he knew about it. It was much louder than he expected.

As soon as the light vanished Bucky saw a thing that looked like a metal boat with a long curved nose and two giant golden wings at the stern. Two Asgardians were on it, a man and a woman, both in brown leather armours and grey fur over their shoulders. The woman immediately jumped down and briskly walked over to Thor. Her bright steel eyes were in stark contrast with her dark skin. Maybe she came from a different area in Asgard than Thor... if that was how things worked there at all. Hell, if Bucky knew.

‘Prince Thor, we came as quickly as we could,’ she said.

‘Ragnhild, right?’ Thor greeted her. ‘Thank you for answering my call so quickly.’

‘Aye, my prince,’ she said. ‘We came to aid you, but we cannot remain for long.’

‘What happened?’ Thor asked, concerned right away.

‘Your father awakened,’ Ragnhild said gravely.

‘I see,’ Thor nodded with a frown, thoughtful. ‘So what of Balder?’

‘Things in the palace are... tense, my lord. Your brother did not want to summon you, due to the grave danger here on Midgard, but Cosak told me to ask you anyway. Could you return with us to Asgard?’

‘ _Brother?_ ’ Stark asked in a way too loud whisper, but he didn’t get an answer.

‘Our battle is over here. My friends need to be taken back to their city,’ Thor said. ‘Then I will return with you.’

‘Thank you, my prince,’ Ragnhild bowed her head. Some metal pieces in her hair clinked faintly when she did.

‘No need, let us hurry then,’ Thor said in return and turned back around to the rest of them.

‘Okay, how fast is this thing?’ Stark asked as he was pulled to his feet by Vision. ‘Because we could be on the other side of the world, you know.’

He looked excited about getting on this thing though. His brain was probably already analysing and memorising as much as he could from afar. Actually, Bucky looked forward to it too, even if he was too tired to conjure up any excitement about it. Steve wrapped an arm around Bucky’s back to steady him as they walked closer. He could’ve walked on his own, but he didn’t mind having Steve close.

‘Fast enough, don’t worry,’ Thor said.

They all got closer to get into the boat-thing then. A skiff, Thor called it. Barton picked up Yelena, and he walked up on the ramp the guy on the skiff lowered for them first, with Natasha right behind him.

‘How will we know which way to go?’ Sam asked as he stopped next to Thor.

‘You really think our vessels have no navigation? When even Midgardian aircraft do,’ Thor told him in return. Sam lifted his hands in surrender. Bucky didn’t blame him for the question. With all the swords and armour it was easy to forget that Asgard had stupidly advanced technology. This flying boat could probably read their goddamn minds.

‘I’ll steer,’ Thor said. ‘I know Midgard best.’

‘Aye, my prince,’ the guy on the skiff said, moving away from the stern.

‘First time for everything, right?’ Steve spoke as they arrived at the skiff, looking it up and down a little dubiously.

‘Planes back in the war were friggin’ death traps, this is gonna be a luxury ride,’ Bucky told him.

* * *

The skiff seemed sluggish when it first took off, but then it shot out into the sky with incredible speed. Bucky couldn’t really feel how fast they were going after the very first boost, and what was even stranger was that he only felt a light breeze on his face, while it looked like they were soaring through the clouds with no protection at all. Bucky couldn’t even see any sort of energy barrier around them. It was hard to determine the speed they were going with as the land was far below them, but they were definitely beating a lot of planes.

‘How does this thing work?’ Wilson asked. He sat right in front of Bucky. There were two benches on the two sides of the skiff, so they were all facing inside towards each other. Yelena was lying on the floor in the middle, still unconscious. It was not the most comfortable seat, but there was at least plenty of space, probably designed with people wearing armour in mind.

‘Beats me,’ Steve shrugged. ‘Try bugging Tony about it, it’ll distract him.’

‘I think he’s plenty distracted,’ Sam huffed. Stark didn’t hear them, which already proved the point. He kept trying to get up from his seat to move over to Thor in the stern, but Wanda grabbed hold of him every time and didn’t allow him to get to his feet.

‘The medic in me makes me ask; you doing okay there?’ Wilson asked then, and it took Bucky a moment to realise that he was speaking to him.

‘I’m fine,’ Bucky answered curtly.

‘Real fine or “I’m being a tough dumbass” fine? You looked like you lost a lot of blood.’

‘I’m already healing,’ Bucky elaborated. ‘I’m just tired and hungry.’

‘All right, just checking in,’ Wilson said. ‘Steve?’

‘I’m _real fine_ too, Sam,’ Steve said, his lips curling up.

‘All right, smartass, forget I said anything,’ Sam said, shaking his head, but he sounded fond.

‘How are you?’ Steve asked in return then, no longer smirking like an little asshole. Bucky liked that stupid smirk.

‘I’m definitely going on vacation after this. That’s how I feel,’ Sam said. ‘I’ve got thrown into stone walls by an angsty demon worshipper. That’s how I feel. We were attacked by bugs at some point, and worms, which is gonna give me nightmares, but hey... not bleeding anywhere right now, so I guess I’m good?’

‘And I’m the smartass, huh?’

‘Yes, you are,’ Wilson shot back, sounding utterly serious. ‘I’m just being honest.’

‘He’s got you there, Cap,’ Pietro piped in.

‘I see how it is,’ Steve sighed. ‘Mutiny.’

Bucky hadn’t seen this before. Previously, The Avengers were always all on alert whenever Bucky was nearby, especially when Loki was nearby too, so there were only faint echoes of this. Friendship. It was strange, but not unwelcome. Steve deserved to be treated right, cared for by people.

‘I will move a little further up to speed up,’ Thor announced. ‘And to avoid any other vessels in the air.’

‘Speed up? What kind of engine does this have?’ Stark asked right away. Thor just gave him a patient smile.

Bucky did feel his stomach drop this time, not nearly as badly as expected, but he could feel some of the force with which they ascended. They were already above the clouds, but now they were shooting up much higher.

‘Oh my god,’ Wanda exclaimed, turning around to kneel up on her seat to look around. Pietro did the same.

The sky was getting dark around them, the endless blue fading away as they moved higher and higher. He couldn’t feel the cold that was most definitely around them, and he could breathe without problem although the air had to be incredibly thin. He finally saw flickers of the barrier around them, glowing orange, protecting them from everything.

Then stars... he saw endless amounts of stars all around and above them. He remembered looking at entire galaxies and nebulas at their old hideout, far away in the dark distance, but those never felt quite real. This was real. Bucky turned around a little in his seat too. This was Earth right below them and space above, the sun still a shining beacon. The clouds looked incredibly white from above, and even he few spots of grey storm-clouds were a welcome sight. He could see the bright blue colour of an ocean below. Everything looked so clear and peaceful and gigantic. Still, but full of life.

‘It’s really over, isn’t it?’ he asked quietly. ‘It’s done.’

‘Yeah, Buck,’ Steve replied, putting his warm hand on Bucky’s back. He inched a little closer, like he wanted to take every opportunity to be as close as he could be. Bucky leaned towards him too. He was tired and Steve felt warm.

‘I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,’ he admitted. He never expected to survive this, not really. He thought, that Loki maybe, since he was a god, and it didn’t look like he could be killed for good, but Bucky was just one broken human. How was he still here? Out of the three of them, how was Bucky the one to be looking at this view with clean crisp air in his lungs and the warmth of the sun on his face? It didn’t make sense.

‘We’ll figure it out,’ Steve promised. ‘One day at a time, how about that?’

That sounded simple enough. Bucky couldn’t really think any further than that right now. He needed food, and a shower, then sleep somewhere safe. Maybe he would be able to decide the rest when he woke up. Steve would be right there, he knew that much.

‘Okay,’ he agreed. One day at a time.

* * *


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer wait for this chapter. I injured my right hand and it’s still healing. Typing was not possible for like a week.

For a while Steve kept staring at the stars, his head tilted up, just gazing into the darkness above. He closed his eyes for a moment, just to relax a bit, just to breathe and let his muscles relax. He fell asleep. When Bucky shook him awake they were in New York, at the tower. The skiff softly landed on the usual landing pad a moment later.

It looked like both Tony and Clint passed out too, because Wanda was shaking them awake as everyone else stood up to get off. It looked like it took some serious effort for Tony to move. It was clear as day how exhausted he was. Wanda was the first to try and help him get to his feet, but Vision took over almost immediately.

Tony was the worst off out of all of them really. He needed a small miracle to get through this without an infection. First that cave, then the weird demon land with all the dust and smoke and... Steve’s mind was still processing all of this. Not just the dark horrors of the caves, but everything that came after, including the giant things that literally tore a world apart right in front of their eyes. Earth was fortunate that Loki was nowhere near this well-prepared and determined to destroy them. And wasn’t that an odd thought? That the Battle of New York was something small in his mind now, something they’ve survived with relative ease. The things he saw put everything in a very strange new perspective.

Steve let the others get down from the skiff first, because he could wait, he didn’t need to get medical attention straight away. The next time he looked up, when he was finally walking down the ramp, Pepper, Rhodey and Bruce were all hurrying out of the building towards them. There were doctors or nurses following them. Rhodey’s face went through a series of emotions as he ran towards Tony, but it looked like worry and frustration won in the end.

‘You have no idea how mad I am at you,’ he said as he stopped next to Tony and Vision.

‘Can you lecture me from my bedside?’ Tony asked.

Rhodey huffed. ‘Sure thing.’

Pepper’s expression was a bit more straightforward. Steve understood why she hated seeing Tony like this; bloody, dirty, and hurt. The exhaustion was on clear on her face even now. Steve was never going to claim that he knew everything that went down between Tony and Pepper, but that look on her face told him that the pain she now felt was probably one of the reasons she tried to keep her distance. Not that Steve himself would ever try and tell Tony to quit. Tony couldn’t stand by when he was needed any more than Steve himself. Pepper probably knew this all too well.

‘My friends, forgive me, but I must go at once!’ Thor called after all of them got off the skiff. Steve turned around to look back at him.

‘I will return when I can, but I do not know when that will be,’ Thor added.

‘No, of course. Good luck,’ Steve said. ‘If Loki shows up here by any chance…’

Thor smiled, even if the expression was more than a little forced.

‘If my brother returns, I will know… if he wants me to know,’ Thor said. ‘I hope there will be peace on Midgard in my absence.’

‘We’ll be fine, big guy,’ Tony said. ‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘Get that arm looked at,’ Natasha added.

‘And bring something nice next time,’ Clint quipped.

Thor nodded and lifted a hand in goodbye. Then he raised his hammer in the air – as a signal perhaps – and a moment later the Bifrost descended from above, engulfing the entire skiff and the three Asgardians on it. It left the usual scorch marks on Tony’s landing pad.

* * *

Turns out they were almost gone for two days. It certainly didn’t feel like they were gone for that long, but Strange was quick to point out the obvious, that time must’ve passed differently over in Chthon’s realm. Steve accepted the explanation with an easy nod, it was far from the weirdest thing that happened to them. He did not envy Bruce, Pepper, and Rhodey, waiting for them to return for this long. Well, they were waiting and searching for them at the same time. No wonder they looked as tired as the rest of them.

Tony really was in the worst shape out of all of them. Well, Yelena was still unconscious, Sam was pretty damn beaten up, while Wanda and Strange looked completely wiped, but none of them looked nearly as bad as Tony. Bucky and Steve probably would’ve been even worse off than him if not for their superhuman durability and healing rate. Natasha, Clint and Pietro got through this whole mess with only a few nasty scrapes and bruises. Steve was glad, and also unsurprised. Pietro was too fast for most things to get him if he paid attention and didn’t do anything stupid, while Nat and Clint were just too good at watching each other’s backs. It probably helped that most of the demons and fanatical Darkholders didn’t consider them all that important. It wouldn’t be the first time.

The doctor waiting for them inside stopped and stared at Strange in shock for a few long moments when they all arrived in the infirmary, then she shook her head and greeted him mildly. Strange said hello, but it didn’t look like he actually recognised her. The two nurses that came out to meet them at the landing pad were swiftly following her instructions now to check up on all of them, while the doctor herself hurried over to Tony as soon as he was down on one of the beds.

Steve politely declined to be checked over.

‘I just need to clean up, nothing’s broken. Thank you.’

The guy eyed him dubiously, while Steve just gave him a friendly smile. The nurse didn’t insist in the end, turned to Bucky instead. He had a tattoo on the back of his neck, Steve noticed.

‘You look a lot worse than Captain America,’ he said before Bucky could speak.

‘I’m okay.’

‘Can I be the judge of that?’

Bucky started scowling, so Steve felt like it was time to intervene.

‘Anything broken?’ he asked, drawing Bucky’s attention. ‘Or just cuts and bruises?’

‘Just a few ribs, I’ll be fine.’

‘Even if you heal quickly, I’d rather take a look at them,’ the nurse said, obviously used to their unique physiology. ‘To make sure they are all in the right place.’

He was right of course, their bones stitched themselves together really quickly, so it was all the more important to set them right and let them heal in the right position.

‘How about you take a shower first,’ Steve offered. ‘Then Nurse…’

‘Rogers,’ the guy said, making Steve pause. ‘I know, such an uncommon name,’ the nurse said with an amused look. ‘My name’s Benny, if that’s less weird to say.’

‘Then Benny can check over your ribs,’ Steve finished. ‘It’ll only take a few minutes, you know that.’

‘Fine,’ Bucky huffed, pushing himself away from the table he was leaning on, heading out of the room straight away. Steve wanted to stay with him, just in case, but he didn’t want to hover unnecessarily.

‘You people are always too stubborn for your own good,’ Benny said then.

‘Part of the package I suppose,’ Steve told him.

‘Well, I hope he won’t try to shove his ribs back in place while he’s in the shower.’

Steve wanted to reassure the nurse, but he actually felt like that was a reasonable concern. The urge to go after Bucky grew. Benny huffed and shook his head, obviously reading Steve’s expression.

‘I’ll be around when your friend comes back,’ he said then.

‘Doctor Strange might need some assistance with his head wound,’ Steve pointed out.

Another nurse already checked over Sam, and was looking over Wanda now. Strange knew his own condition perfectly well and insisted on others being looked after first. It was easy to forget that he used to be a doctor when he was hurling spells around, but it was glaringly obvious now that he was throwing around medical terms instead. Benny didn’t comment, he just gave Steve a polite smile and walked over to Doctor Strange to talk to him quietly.

Steve let himself take a deep breath as his shoulders relaxed. Now that they were all safe, it was really difficult to fight his tiredness, and from the look on everyone’s faces, he wasn’t alone.

‘I must really insist that you stay in a hospital for a few days, Mr Stark,’ the doctor said loud enough to be heard in the whole room. Steve was rather sure that he met her before, but he couldn’t for the life of him recall her name. Maybe they weren’t introduced.

‘But if I only need bed rest…’ Tony tried.

‘I case of an infection, Mr Stark,’ the doctor cut him off with a stern look. ‘First aid from a field medic is well and all, but I’d recommend a mild antibiotic treatment to lower the risk of infection, and I’d prefer if you were under observation for the duration of it.’

‘Don’t argue about this, Tony,’ Rhodey said before Tony could open his mouth again. They all knew Tony hated hospitals, that’s why he had so much medical equipment at his tower. Yet, nobody tried to take his side on this one. He would be better off recovering in a hospital. And this place was actually a little damaged after the… doppelgänger thing. Steve didn’t want to think about that right now. Just the brief flash of that memory made him shudder.

‘Oh, fine,’ Tony conceded. ‘But can we wait until everyone is patched up at least?’

The Doc thought about it for a few moments, looking around in the room to take stock of everyone.

‘An hour tops, Mr. Stark,’ she said. ‘We also need to transfer Miss Belova for further examinations, and I’d prefer to do that sooner rather than later.’

With that she turned and walked over to Yelana’s bed.

‘This is going to suck so much,’ Tony complained.

‘I’ll call Happy to keep you company,’ Pepper offered.

Steve stopped listening after that. He sat down on one of the chairs that was little further away from the rest of the team to wait for Bucky to come back. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. He watched as the doctor and the two nurses checked up on everyone, cleaning and bandaging wounds. It looked like Sam needed a few stitches as well. But it was so good to see them all alive. He was grateful that they all made it.

Except for Loki. Steve didn’t know how he felt about that... a little numb. Loki was not a friend, but he did fight on their side this time around. He committed horrible crimes, and he saved Steve’s life, more than once. He was not a friend... but maybe he was Bucky’s friend. Chthon got him because of the pages he used. Steve couldn’t stop guilt from rearing its ugly head when he thought about that, no matter how hard he tried. Bucky asked him to do that, to save Steve.

Maybe Loki was still alive, still fighting for his life this very second while the rest of them were safe and healing. Steve couldn’t decide whether that idea was more horrible than thinking he was dead. Being Chthon’s prisoner felt like a more dreadful fate, but it turned Steve’s stomach unpleasantly to hope that Loki was dead instead. He was so damn tired, his thoughts scattered. The noise in the room faded away.

* * *

He startled awake when someone touched his shoulder. He was still sitting in the chair and Sam stood in front of him. He was wearing a Stark Industries t-shirt, so he must’ve taken a shower just now, his bandages all fresh, his wounds all cleaned up.

‘One of the showers is free if you wanna clean up now,’ Sam said.

Steve looked around in the room and noted that Tony, Pepper and Rhodey were gone. So was Vision, Wanda and Pietro. Sam followed his gaze to the empty bed.

‘They took Tony to the hospital,’ Sam explained. ‘You slept like the dead.’

Steve’s next thought was of course Bucky. He immediately shot up from his seat when he couldn’t see him anywhere, his heart beating a mile a minute straight away. If enough time passed for Tony to be transferred, then...

‘Relax, he’s still in the tower,’ Sam said.

And before Steve could ask his next question, he spotted Yelena. She was awake. How the hell did he sleep this much? Why did nobody wake him before this?

‘Barnes glared at anyone who tried to wake you up,’ Sam told him, sounding a little amused. Okay, that explained one thing.

Then Sam stepped closer and lowered his voice, glancing back at Yelena.

‘She was pretty normal when she woke up,’ he said. ‘Real calm. Which was actually kinda disturbing, if I’m honest. And she only spoke in Russian at first. Then she got this really freaked out look on her face when she spotted Barnes, so he bolted.’

Right, she probably remembered him then. ‘Is she okay then?’ Steve asked, equally quiet.

‘Physically, yeah, seems like it. I don’t know what they’ve done to her, but she’s tough, maybe even tougher than before, from what I understand. But don’t ask me what exactly is going around in her head. She’s putting me on edge.’

‘You don’t have to stay here,’ Steve said.

‘I won’t,’ Sam told him. ‘I’ve got a bed with my name on it upstairs, I just wanted to wake you myself.’

‘Thanks Sam,’ Steve said. ‘For everything.’

‘Yeah well, you all need some reasonable people around to watch out for you.’

‘We definitely do,’ Steve agreed.

Sam patted his shoulder and headed out. Steve rolled his head to relax his neck again, then while a shower sounded good, he walked closer to the bed where Yelena was sitting. Natasha was standing closest to her, Strange and Bruce in front of her, while Clint a little to the side.

They all glanced over at him when he approached and silence greeted him, cutting off whatever conversation was happening.

‘I remember you,’ Yelena said, staring at him. This was the first time Steve actually heard her voice without the deep rumble of Chthon’s true voice in it. ‘I mean, I know who you are in general, but I remember seeing you.’

‘I had a chat or two with Chthon,’ Steve confirmed. ‘I heard you, I think, when he pulled me over there in a dream.’

And he stabbed her in the chest with a dagger while he was buried underground in Detroit. Steve didn’t think it was appropriate to bring that up right now.

‘Yes, that’s possible...’ she nodded slowly. ‘I screamed for a very long time.’

‘I can’t find any traces of Chthon’s magic on you,’ Strange said in the silence that followed. ‘But it’s hard to tell what the Darkholders did to you exactly... my friend Wong might be able to help further, if you’re up for a trip to Greenwich Village sooner rather than later.’

‘It was that alien woman,’ Yelena said, her ice blue eyes shifting over to Strange. ‘She did the ritual, she lined all those men up like kettle, took from their blood... pulled... something out of them. None of them even blinked, just smiled at her with big besotted smiles.’

Steve was really glad Tony was not here to hear this. The things Amora could do to men were horrific to even imagine. They all knew how the men they found on that island in Japan ended up after Amora was done with them.

‘She drained them of their life force,’ Strange said. ‘Channelled it all into you then?’

‘To prepare me,’ Yelena spat, then cursed quietly in Russian.

Steve wasn’t sure how to phrase his next question.

‘I’m not trying to be insensitive, but--’

‘I don’t need kid gloves, spit it out,’ Yelena cut him off firmly.

‘Did you sign up for this?’ Natasha asked instead.

‘The job? Yes,’ Yelena answered. ‘Demons... and being used for some freak magical ritual? No.’

‘How did you get mixed up with them then, if you didn’t know what they planned to do?’ Steve asked.

She just went through a lot of trauma, Steve knew that, but she was also a Black Widow, and someone who could be hired, probably even for very questionable jobs. It’s not like even Natasha trusted her, hell, she looked the most distrustful out of all of them.

‘Arcade, that piece of shit,’ Yelena answered. ‘He got me the job with DeGuzman. A rich asshole who was collecting “unique” items from all sorts of places, making enemies. He said they wanted good protection and someone who could get them intel. It sounded like easy money.’

‘So what tipped you off?’ Natasha asked.

‘The occult shit was not that shocking. Again, a few millionaires playing at having an exclusive secret society for themselves, doing freaky shit to each other in the basement... or that’s what I assumed. Then he came into the picture... the American.’

She looked back at Steve again for a moment, then firmly settled her eyes on Natasha. She was incredibly hard to read, but Steve wasn’t really surprised.

‘I recognised him. The stories about Hydra’s Winter Soldier made a lot of sense after. And I was done. DeGuzman offered more money, but I told him there was not enough money in the world that could make me go up against him. Arcade was eager, he wanted a challenge... but we know that’s not how this game works. You don’t hunt someone like him... you run.’

She looked more intently at Natasha then, tilting her head a little.

‘You look surprised.’

‘Not something I would have expected to hear from you.’

‘I survived the kill order on us because I was not stupid,’ Yelena said. ‘I wasn’t about to walk up to the man I spent years hiding from.’

Steve wanted to open his mouth to tell her that Bucky was not the man she remembered, not The American and not the Winter Soldier, but he let her continue instead. They needed to hear what she knew.

‘I didn’t plan to tell them that I was leaving, of course,’ Yelena added. ‘I just gave Arcade a heads-up not to count on me, since I’ve known him for some years. It was a stupid sentimental mistake. The bastard ratted me out. Is he dead?’

Clint and Natasha shared a look.

‘We don’t know,’ Natasha answered.

‘They did clean up most of the rubble in Detroit by now,’ Bruce said. ‘But they found no body that could be him as far as we know.’

‘Good. I’m looking forward to seeing him again then,’ Yelena said, her eyes going even colder. Steve didn’t need to guess what she planned to do to him. He couldn’t bring himself to feel bad right now, not after everything Arcade did.

‘So what happened then?’ Steve asked.

‘Well, they obviously didn’t accept my resignation,’ Yelena said. ‘That’s when I first met that woman, Amora and that giant pet of hers. They took me down, I didn’t stand a chance.’

No, not against two Asgardians. No amount of training would have been enough.

‘Do you know why they chose you?’ Natasha asked. ‘For Chthon, I mean.’

‘No,’ Yelena answered. ‘They babbled something about resilience, a will to survive, but maybe it was just convenient. Life’s been fucking me over from day one, it’s not like I’m shocked.’

‘Maybe you need to start a new career,’ Clint remarked.

‘That’s sweet, but if you’re gearing up for a sales pitch, save it.’

‘You really want to keep going they way you did before after what just happened?’ Natasha asked.

‘I value my freedom,’ Yelena answered plainly. ‘As soon as I’m steady on my feet, I’m gone. I don’t recommend trying to stop me.’

Steve just turned to look at Natasha, who was holding Yelena’s gaze.

‘Wait a few days, get your strength back,’ Natasha said. ‘You won’t find a safer place than this.’

‘You have a strange definition of safe,’ Yelena commented, but she laid back down on the bed, pointedly turning her back on all of them.

There was no point standing around in the chaotic room anymore, so they all silently turned to leave now. HELEN would keep an eye on Yelena.

‘I’ll take her over to you tomorrow, if you leave me your address,’ Natasha turned to Strange as soon as they were out of the door.

‘That sounds reasonable, if you’re okay with her staying here until then,’ Strange said.

‘We’ll be all right,’ Natasha confirmed. ‘That place in Greenwich Village… is that a place where you can actually… you know, sleep?’

Strange gave her a smile.

‘Yes, I’m not actually homeless anymore, but thank you for your concern. It’s 177A Bleecker Street. I’ll let my friend Wong know that you’re coming,’ he added. ‘In case I’m still passed out by then.’

He took a large tired breath at that, probably feeling his exhaustion as keenly as the rest of them. As far Steve knew, his magic didn’t grant him with any additional stamina. He must’ve been wiped.

‘I’ll walk you out,’ Steve offered. ‘HELEN could get a car for you.’

‘That… actually wouldn’t be so bad,’ Strange agreed.

‘HELEN?’

‘ETA in 10 minutes,’ the AI responded. ‘Garage entrance, unless you’d like a round with the paparazzi.’

‘Yeah, let’s skip that,’ Steve said. ‘What are they doing out there?’

‘The Asgardian vessel and later the ambulance caused quite a stir,’ HELEN responded. That was not something for Steve to worry about right now.

Steve lead the way and they walked side-by-side for a little while in complete silence.

‘So what did you want to talk about?’ Strange asked. ‘Not that I don’t appreciate your courtesy, but you look like you’d rather be asleep. Not that I blame you.’

‘Loki,’ Steve said. ‘Your thoughts?’

‘It’s difficult to say,’ Strange said. ‘Did you know that in Kamar-Taj we considered him one of the greater threats to Earth and mankind? I learnt to expect the unexpected fortunately, and the same philosophy could apply here. Not that long ago I would’ve claimed that defying death the way Loki did was a serious transgression against the laws of nature. But then what do those laws matter if our enemies disregard them almost constantly? And is it still against the order of the universe if the very manifestation of Death had a hand in it?’

‘I really don’t know,’ Steve admitted.

‘I’ll be honest, I don’t either. This is a unique situation… _he_ is a unique being, that much I know for certain. And yes, we could argue that all living things are unique, but I think you know what I really mean.’

‘Expect the unexpected, because it’s Loki?’

‘It’s actually one of the unwritten rules of magic,’ Strange said. ‘And isn’t that just fascinating? I will certainly keep an eye out for any sort of miraculous return.’

‘Thor would certainly like that answer,’ Steve told him.

‘Well, it’s just as likely that he’s dead. And with his mission completed, there won’t be any more miraculous returns,’ Strange said.

‘Yeah,’ Steve sighed.

They reached the garage elevator and Strange waited until the doors were closed before he spoke again.

‘Why the questions?’ Strange asked. ‘Feel free to tell me if I’m too curious.’

‘No, it’s fine. I just wanted to know how the odds looked like, and you’re the best expert I could hope for. I know Loki was our enemy, but he put his life on the line here, he fought for the right thing.’

Steve stared at the numbers going down.

‘He’s Thor’s brother, Bucky’s friend, I can’t ignore these things, it wouldn’t be right. Maybe he’s truly gone, maybe he will return, it will matter either way. Maybe not to all of us, but it will have an impact on our lives... maybe even our world.’

The lift arrived with a soft ding and the doors opened.

‘That’s certainly true,’ Strange agreed, stepping outside.

‘Chthon probably survived, right?’ Steve asked then, keeping up with him.

Strange frowned darkly as he considered his response. ‘Yes, beings like him don’t die easy, but I do believe he’s down for the count for quite a while.’

‘Loki said he needed to finish what he started, so that Chthon can’t return in just a few centuries.’

‘From what we’ve seen, he succeeded,’ Strange said.

‘So how long do you think we’ll be safe from Chthon?’

‘Thousands of years, hopefully,’ Strange told him. ‘New Darkholders might appear, and he will have an influence on our world, like in the past, but he won’t be able to return here in the flesh for a long time.’

‘That’s actually reassuring,’ Steve smiled.

‘I’ll make sure the sorcerers of Kamar-Taj pass on a warning about Chthon to new generations. Hopefully, humanity will be still around then to face him. If not… well, it won’t matter then.’

‘Even if there’s no imminent threat, we’d like to keep in touch with you. You and the other sorcerers. We might not be able to fight all the threats that you have to deal with, but I want to offer help nonetheless.’

‘Well, you know where to find me. I know where to find you,’ Strange gestured at the ceiling above them. ‘And you’re right. We might need each other’s help again in the future.’

They barely reached outside when the car pulled up, black and nondescript, probably with a driver who won’t even blink at Strange’s outfit.

‘Oh, and if Miss Maximoff ever decides to improve upon her skills, I’m sure we could find her a suitable mentor in Kamar-Taj,’ Strange added.

‘I’ll let her know,’ Steve said.

Strange nodded his goodbye as he got into the car and Steve nodded back. He only walked back to the building once the car’s tail lights vanished.

* * *

Steve took a shower before going up to his floor. His limbs felt heavy, his eyes strained, his entire body completely drained at this point. Then as soon as he arrived the damage done to his bedroom and floor were a bad reminders of everything that happened. But he slept in worse places, so he didn’t care that much.

He spotted the dark silhouette in one of the shadowy corners of the living room, and he wondered why Bucky hasn’t gone to sleep yet. At the same time, maybe he knew why, so he approached quietly. Bucky didn’t react much when Steve sat down next to him, kept his eyes on the large windows and the city outside. The silence felt more fragile than it should have.

‘How’s Yelena?’ Bucky asked then. He could’ve asked HELEN, but maybe he wanted more than just plain facts.

‘She seems fine... definitely unnerving,’ Steve said. ‘I doubt it has much to do with what the Darkholders did to her.’

‘Yeah, she’s dangerous,’ Bucky said. ‘But almost everyone in this place is.’

Steve huffed. ‘Yeah. Strange wants to check up on her again a bit later. Hopefully, she doesn’t give us the slip before that.’

‘She was one of the older ones,’ Bucky said. ‘Way into her teens when I first saw her. More blood on her hands than any of the others... she used those big blue eyes really well on men, even in the Red Room. She was even better with her garrotte... and ropes.’

Bucky fell silent for a moment, lost in his memories.

‘She was deep under cover when I got my orders. She was told to stay on location until further instructions, but when I got there she was long gone. She somehow knew what was coming and vanished. They didn’t want to risk sending me to track her, would’ve taken too long. They were probably afraid I’d remember something.’

‘She said she spent years in hiding,’ Steve added.

‘Two out of twenty-eight,’ Bucky said then. ‘I remember now, all their faces... their names.’

‘Buck, you know it wasn’t your fault, don’t torture yourself.’

‘No, I want to remember,’ Bucky said. ‘It might give me nightmares, but I don’t want them to be forgotten. Them or any of the others. It was vile, what they did to those girls, to others before them. I want to remember... the real monsters. Gives me perspective.’

Steve could only hope that Bucky didn’t count himself among the monsters.

‘You think you’d be up for sleeping?’ he asked then, quietly. There were so many things Steve wanted to talk about, but he also just wanted to lie down and feel Bucky’s warmth right next to him. He wanted to wrap himself in his scent, the sound of his heartbeat.

‘It feels like that if I close my eyes, I’m going to wake up somewhere else, somewhere much worse.’

‘It’s over, Buck,’ Steve told him. ‘This is real, okay? We’re here.’

‘I know, it’s just surreal,’ Bucky said. ‘Being alive.’

Steve tensed up again. ‘Buck...’

‘I was so sure this would be it,’ Bucky said, still staring out the window. ‘That I would keep going for as long as I could, maybe make a difference... then be done with everything. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’m still here...’

Steve stared at Bucky’s profile with widened eyes, his stomach clenched up, hoping to God that Bucky did not mean that he wanted to die. Steve couldn’t stop himself from reaching out, touching him again, turning his face with his hand to be able to look him in the eyes. Both afraid and hopeful of what he will find on Bucky’s face.

But he knew that look, at least he was fairly sure he did. Bucky just looked lost, and Steve vividly remembered the weeks that followed when he first woke up in this century. He expected to die, but he didn’t. He remembered that horrible gaping feeling in his chest, not having any real space in the world... no goals or plans, just being numb and directionless.

He moved forward, mindful of Bucky’s broken ribs, and he didn’t care that he had to almost climb in Bucky’s lap to wrap both his arms around him, he needed to do this. Bucky hugged him back after a moment, his arms coming up around Steve. Both warm, but one hard, and one soft. Bucky seemed a little unsure of what Steve was doing, but at least he seemed okay with it, finally shaken out of that odd trance he was in when Steve arrived.

‘I want you to keep something in mind for me,’ Steve said then.

‘Yeah, what?’

‘That I’m with you, remember,’ Steve said, squeezing even tighter. ‘To the end of the line.’

Bucky moved, shifting to embrace him more, his flesh arms moving up to the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him even closer. His lips now almost touching Steve’s neck.

‘And I really want you with me too,’ Steve added.

‘I’m with you, I’m with you,’ Bucky said immediately, nodding his head.

‘I know this won’t be easy, hell... understatement, but I’m gonna keep going... keep fighting, you can count on that.’

‘You’re not one to give up,’ Bucky said.

‘And you’re not either,’ Steve told him in return, pulling back a little to be able to look at Bucky again. ‘I know you, Bucky Barnes. _Still!_ Yes, don’t argue. I know you, I know what I signed up for.’

Because he already signed up. He’s known for a damn long time that he would never give up on Bucky, and he did not intend to change his mind now. And sure, Bucky needed him, but Steve knew damn well that he needed Bucky just as badly. Maybe there were more ways to move forward, but the best out of all was together.

‘Ready for sleep?’ Steve asked after a long stretch of silence.

‘So much,’ Bucky sighed.

‘Come on then,’ Steve said, moving away and pulling Bucky to his feet by his hand. Okay, so he didn’t need to keep hold of Bucky’s hand as he walked towards the bedroom, but he did it anyway. It was good to feel his pulse under his fingertips.

They didn’t bother changing into anything, the soft sweatpants and t-shirts they put on after cleaning up were more than fine for sleeping. And once they were on the bed and Steve pulled the cover over them. He almost even forgot about the giant hole in the wall.

Bucky lay still while Steve got comfortable on the bed. For a moment or two Steve was convinced that Bucky actually fell asleep immediately, but as soon as Steve settled Bucky moved closer to him. It would get incredibly warm under the covers if they stayed pressed up like this, but Steve still looked forward to falling asleep this close to one another.

He was dozing off when Bucky’s rough voice pulled him back to awareness.

‘You’re the best damn thing that ever happened to me,’ he said. The words were quiet as a whisper, and his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. Maybe he didn’t intend for Steve to hear it. Steve still turned his head and found Bucky’s lips in the darkness, kissing him for a long soft moment.

‘I love you, Buck,’ he told him, feeling warm from just saying it out loud again. It sounded so right.

Bucky buried his face in Steve’s neck, his breath warm on Steve’s skin. His answer was quiet, murmured into Steve’s flesh, but still perfect. It echoed in Steve’s mind as he fell asleep.

* * *


	61. Chapter 61

Thor expected many thing on his return to Asgard. Recent years had taught him some harsh lessons about life and how quickly things could turn for the worse. Brunnhilde was still at the Bifrost site, but now so was Heimdall. The two of them were silently staring at him as he disembarked. That sight alone did not worry him, neither did the fact that there were now Einherjar standing guard around them too next to the Skornheim warriors, who were all wearing dark expressions. No, the sight that truly alarmed him were the Valkyrior. Two of them stood right beside Brunnhilde, and two more stood on the rainbow bridge. Five out of the Nine in Asgard at the same time was rare indeed. Thor could not imagine what made Brunnhilde summon her shield-sisters to Asgard like this.

He knew that things were not going well between his Father and Balder just from the tone Ragnhild used when she asked him to return, but now he feared the situation was much more dire. He did not want to waste much time getting to them.

‘Brunnhilde... Heimdall,’ he greeted them both with a firm nod.

‘Welcome back, Son of Odin,’ Brunnhilde greeted in return.

‘A victorious return,’ Heimdall said. ‘But I’m afraid you won’t find the peace you need after your battle just yet.’

‘So I’ve heard,’ Thor acknowledged. He did not even hope to rest anytime soon. ‘What of your shield-sisters, Lady Brunnhilde?’ Thor couldn’t help but ask. It was highly unusual for this many Valkyries to appear in Asgard.

‘There was a great shift in the threads of fate,’ Brunnhilde told him, not even missing a beat. ‘Our tale was forever altered, and you know very well why... and how.’

‘So Loki succeeded?’ Thor asked, ignoring the noise that some of the Einherjar made, shock or surprise. It did not matter. Thor did not intend to keep his brother’s great feats against Chthon a secret. Not how much he suffered nor for how long he battled the great old demon god of Midgard.

‘Let us hurry to the palace first, Odinson,’ the dark-skinned valkyrie said from Brunnhilde’s right. She was Kára of the Storm, Thor knew of her, but never met her before. She had white marking painted on her face, a sign that Brunnhilde chose her as one of her two seconds.

‘My shield-sister Kára has some questions for you,’ Brunnhilde said. ‘From all of us.’

This was not a request, but Thor did not intend to refuse.

‘Lead the way then,’ Thor offered, then followed the valkyrie.

Time was indeed of the essence, so he was relieved when Kára walked up to one of the pure white mares with wide majestic wings, waiting on the rainbow bridge. These animals always filled him with awe as a child, watching a valkyrie soar through the sky riding one. He hoped for so long that he could have one for himself, he was too young then to know that they only belonged to the choosers of the slain.

He spun Mjölnir to get into the air once Kára was up in the sky, her mare already flying towards the golden towers of Asgard. They did not speak as they flew through the air, so maybe the valkyrie only wished to speak to him briefly in the palace, or after Thor had a chance to seek out his Father and Balder. Oh, how he feared what he will find.

He knew now – of course – that the young warrior was brought to Asgard by Loki. Maybe he should’ve felt conflicted because of this, but whenever he remembered Balder’s eyes and the passion and conviction in his every word, the way some of the older warriors of Skornheim looked at him, he just couldn’t imagine it being a deceit, not any of it. Maybe Balder did not speak of Loki, and neither did he admit how he truly found out about his parentage, but Thor knew it in his heart that he was no liar or deceiver.

His father... might not feel the same way.

The silence only lasted as long as they were in the air, and as soon as Kára’s mare touched ground and Thor landed on his feet, she pinned him with a look.

‘We’ve been watching Loki,’ she said. ‘With great interest, I might add.’

‘Yet you’ve not told anyone,’ Thor said.

‘Neither have you,’ Kára said as she got down from her saddle and started walking towards the palace doors. Thor was right beside her.

‘I had my reasons,’ Thor told her.

‘And we had our own reasons as well,’ Kára said.

‘Have you foreseen it then?’ Thor asked. ‘This shift in the threads of fate that Brunnhilde mentioned. Is this why you are here?’

‘We must speak of your brother and what transpired on Midgard, but first you have an another task ahead of you.’

She quieted down whenever they passed someone, and Thor was unsure which part of the conversation she tried to keep a secret.

‘What would that task be?’

‘Peace, Thor,’ she answered simply. ‘Your Father is making enemies in places he should not.’

‘He is the All-Father.’

‘Yes, and Brunnhilde is our leader... and Sigyn is the Lady of the Castle of Skornheim. And your blood-brother is an honest and brave man, who has the love and loyalty of many. Would you accuse any of them of treason for what happened while your Father slept?’

Thor frowned darkly, his steps speeding up without conscious thought.

‘Surely... surely not treason,’ Thor argued. Balder changed things in Asgard while he ruled, and Thor could see how his Father would be angry, especially if he knew Loki was involved, but within hours Thor knew that Balder was a good man, with honest intentions and the good of Asgard in his heart... surely his Father would see that too, even in his anger.

‘Do not underestimate the All-Father’s fury,’ Kára told him. Her answer made Thor even more grim. This was probably much worse than he feared.

‘I must hurry then, but please just tell me this,’ Thor stopped to turn to her. ‘Does my brother sill live? Or is he... has he joined my Mother in Valhalla?’

Kára gave him a measured look.

‘Your brother is a peculiar creature,’ she said then. ‘He is beyond our sight and our grasp. I wouldn’t have thought that to be possible. His fate... unravelled. Neither Brunnhilde nor Heimdall can see him now.’

‘Where can he be then?’ Thor asked.

‘His alliance is to beings much above us, or even the whole of Asgard. I have no answers for you.’

Mistress Death. Maybe she had him truly then... or maybe Loki was still alive in a far away world, locked in battle with a demon god. Norns knew Thor felt like he was stabbed in the gut at the thought of that. If he was beyond Heimdall’s eyes and the sight of the Valkyrior, then Thor might never learn his fate. He couldn’t accept that, he needed to know!

‘He showed me visions of a terrible future,’ he told Kára. ‘And I wish to know if he succeeded in changing that. Our fates changed, as you all say, but is it for the better?’

‘Careful, Thor. Seeking visions of the future caused the ruin of many men.’

‘But I must know,’ Thor insisted. ‘My brother bled and suffered for this... he _died_ for this.’

He gave more than one life to achieve his goal, to change his own horrible fate, the chains of his destiny.

‘It is difficult to see one’s own future, even harder to see someone else’s,’ Kára warned.

‘If my brother lives, if he can ever return, then he will be part of my future,’ Thor told her with absolute certainty. ‘Our fates are entwined, I know it.’

She stared at him for a little time silently, but then she came to a decision.

‘Very well,’ she nodded and Thor sighed in relief. ‘But first, you must make peace. Don’t let blood be shed on Asgard’s soil.’

She glanced towards the great golden doors that lead to the throne chamber. Thor could not hear any voices coming from the inside, but that was not necessarily a good thing.

‘Peace can be a harder challenge than any battle,’ Thor admitted. He himself was not known for his calm, but he would face this challenge just like any other.

‘That it is,’ Kára agreed. ‘Find me once you’ve succeeded.’

‘I thank you for your faith in me,’ Thor nodded and parted from her without another word. There were no Einherjar outside, so he pushed open the great doors himself, announcing his presence.

* * *

The chamber fell silent as soon as Thor stepped inside, and Balder whirled around at the sound of the doors opening. Thor have not known him for long, but that fire in his eyes was already becoming familiar. Balder looked surprised, then his brows furrowed as he took in the sight of Thor, his eyes clearly lingering on his scorched and torn cape and some of his more visible wounds.

Cosak stood right next to Balder, while other Skornheim warriors stood by the side, obviously tense. At least no weapons were drawn. They all stared at Thor as he confidently marched closer.

Thor finally looked up at the throne then. His Father wore a golden robe and not an armour, maybe he came here as soon as he awakened. He must’ve been in a hurry, if he didn’t mind being this casual in the throne room. Gungnir was in its place in the throne and the Einherjar stood on the stairs leading up to his father. It looked too much like two sides facing off for Thor’s liking.

His father looked him over as well, his eye quickly shifting down, then back to Thor’s face. He said nothing. Balder on the other hand turned his back on the All-Father to walk closer to Thor. For a moment he looked like he had too many questions he wanted to ask.

‘All is well on Midgard?’ he asked in the end.

‘We were victorious,’ Thor confirmed. It was strange now, all of a sudden, to remember that Balder knew Loki, that he probably wanted to know what happened.

‘You should see a healer,’ Balder suggested then.

Thor put his hand on his shoulder and turned him back around towards the All-Father. He wouldn’t have been this casual with him if it would’ve been only the two of them, as they were still strangers in a way, but the fiery anger in his Father’s eye was a serious matter.

‘I am well, thank you, Balder. It can wait,’ he told him. Balder nodded and as soon as his eyes were back on the throne his face hardened to steel. It was a swift change that did not go unnoticed by anyone.

‘So you’ve known,’ his Father said.

‘It’s good to see you awake, Father,’ Thor said pointedly.

He was here to make peace, but that did not mean he would be silent about his displeasure. His Father lied to them. That would’ve been hard to swallow no matter what, but this was no small lie, and it was not the first either. Thor saw his parents’ reasons for keeping the truth about Loki. He might not have agreed fully, but he understood. This was different. He still cared to hear his Father’s reasoning, but a lie was still a lie, and Balder was his brother in flesh and blood, even if not in bond, like Loki. They were not given the chance to have that.

‘You come from battle,’ his Father said.

‘Yes, a grave danger threatened Midgard and the Nine Realms, but we were victorious in the end.’

‘I’d praise you for your victory, had you not left Asgard defenceless in your absence.’

Thor took offence to that.

‘I believe Asgard was more than well-guarded while I was away. I see no war, no enemies roaming our streets. The people are all safe and well.’

His Father stared down at him, but he did not raise his voice... yet.

‘Do not play daft, son, you know very well what I speak of. You knew of him and the power he seized in Asgard, and yet you did nothing.’

‘Him?’ Thor questioned. ‘You mean your son? And another secret in the House of Odin?’

‘I have but one son now, and that is you,’ Odin said.

That short sentence alone made Thor’s blood boil. His Father must’ve seen it on his face, because he addressed the room at large next.

‘Leave us!’ he ordered. The Einherjar moved at once, but Cosak waited for Balder’s nod before he signalled his warriors. This obviously displeased his Father, as he turned his angry eye at Balder right away.

‘That means you as well,’ he said.

‘He stays,’ Thor said firmly. ‘We will discuss _family matters_ after all.’

Balder did not falter under Odin’s gaze, he stayed exactly where he stood right next to Thor. Well, the Warriors of Skornheim did not call him Balder the Brave for nothing.

Thor waited until the door closed before he spoke again, breaking the tense silence the three of them were wrapped in.

‘One son, you say,’ he said bitterly. ‘For how long then? Until the day I displease you? Then you’ll claim you have no sons at all?’

‘Do not put words in my mouth,’ Odin interrupted.

‘Then do not claim falsehoods!’ Thor answered, trying his best not to shout. ‘Loki is you son, no matter what happens, and so is he!’

He truly believed that his Father still loved Loki, he had to, but the stern expression on Odin’s face did not help that belief much. Then Odin’s anger faltered for a moment, and he just looked tired. The expression was gone again in a blink, but Thor saw it.

‘Oh, do not be that concerned All-Father,’ Balder interrupted the silence. ‘I’ve no desire to be your son.’

‘But the throne,’ Odin turned towards him. ‘You seem to have a great desire for that.’

‘Asgard needed me, so I came,’ Balder responded.

‘No! You came here, because Loki wanted you to. You sat on this throne, because Loki put you here. These are all his machinations.’

‘I am not Loki’s puppet,’ Balder said.

‘Of course you are, foolish boy,’ Odin silenced him angrily. ‘And you will not leave the palace until I know exactly what he needed from you and what you have done for him.’

‘So tell me, if not me, who else would have guarded Asgard?’ Balder asked vehemently. ‘You were deep in your sleep and Thor was gone!’

‘That is exactly how Loki wanted it!’ the All-Father boomed, his eyes burning with anger.

‘You let me go,’ Thor told him.

‘I did _not_! It was Loki and another one of his tricks, wearing my face and taking the throne the moment I succumbed to my sleep.’

Of course, Thor should’ve known. His Father was too considerate of Thor’s wishes after what transpired with the Dark Elves, after Thor went against his orders. That warm look in his Father’s eyes… he didn’t recognise Loki, because it’s been too long since his brother looked at him like that. It made sense, Loki wanted him gone form Asgard… or maybe wanted him on Midgard instead, depending on how much he knew of their terrible future at that point. Maybe none of it just then, but Thor had no way to find out now, no one to ask. He needed to ask Balder what he knew of all this.

‘Father, I know exactly what Loki’s been planning,’ Thor told him calmly. ‘And once you know-’

‘I thought you’ve learned your lesson about Loki,’ his Father said in return, obviously picking up on the lack of anger in Thor’s tone. ‘What has he done now, to bury himself back in your heart?’

Thor didn’t know where to begin explaining. He would have to go back to the very start, when they first thought they lost his brother. Would his Father even believe him? He did not witness Loki’s return from the dead like Thor. He did not see the vision of the terrible future that loomed before them. He did not meet the twisted evil that was the Old King Loki, the creature his brother did not wish to become. He did not fight by Loki’s side in the Other-Realm against demons and Darkholders and the great Chthon himself. He had not seen the Mighty Wolf and the Great Serpent, the shades of the dead appearing at Leah’s command, the immense power Loki possessed… and decided to use for the good of all. Thor had never seen his brother wield this much power before, and he used it all against the demon god. He could’ve done monstrous things with such power, and Thor was not sure he could’ve stopped him. Norns, even Chthon couldn’t! But his brother did the right thing… and Thor lost him again.

How could he possibly explain it all? Thor exhaled to keep his voice steady.

‘Loki did the right thing,’ he settled on. ‘Both here and on Midgard. I’ve seen enough to know this to be true.’

His face probably betrayed his emotions, because Balder was staring at him, his brows deeply furrowed, his eyes sharp, but a little shocked. He must’ve realised that something happened to Loki. His father was staring at him intently too.

‘Thor, you mustn’t believe his lies,’ Odin said.

‘You talk a lot of Loki’s lies, but I have yet to hear one,’ Balder commented evenly. ‘I see plenty of yours… all the secrets that Loki exposed.’

‘He long poisoned your thoughts, I don’t expect anything else form you but scorn,’ Odin said.

‘So, the truth is now poison?’ Balder shot back. ‘Is that how he got his reputation of a liar, for speaking truths Asgard did not want to hear?’

Thor knew his brother was an excellent liar, he witnessed it plenty of times, but he also knew that he wielded truth as a sword just as well. And the truth could be more painful than the best crafted lie.

‘You understand nothing!’ the All-Father snapped, one of his hands turning into a first on the armrest of the throne. Balder was proving to be very talented at inciting his Father’s anger, and that was not necessarily a good thing.

‘Oh, I understand plenty,’ Balder answered, completely unafraid. ‘I committed no crime you can punish me for, but you want to punish me for the truth, maybe claim that it’s a lie.’

Balder’s parentage? No, his Father would not do that.

‘You have no place here,’ Odin said. ‘You should’ve never stepped foot in the palace. You are an unfortunate mistake, nothing more.’

‘If you did not want to deal with such a _mistake_ , you should have kept to your wife’s bed!’

Thor half stepped in front of Balder a moment before Odin stood up in anger.

‘Balder, peace, this does not help anyone,’ Thor said, still keeping an eye on his Father. Odin would probably not strike with Thor in the way... hopefully.

Balder rested his steely blue eyes on the All-Father, but made no move to draw his sword or take a step closer.

‘Listen well, Odin All-Father,’ he said. ‘Rage all you want, but I will not disappear, or run from you in fear. I am not some stain on your reputation that can be swiped under a rug. I will not be discarded and I will not be forgotten. This I can swear to you easily.’

Thor had to admire the hard steel in Balder’s voice, the strength of his stance, and the unshakable resolution on his face. He knew exactly how he earned the respect of the Warriors of Skornheim, and his Father had to see it as well.

‘And if you truly want to be rid of me… well, I welcome you to try.’

He turned to leave immediately, not waiting for an answer from the All-Father.

Thor followed him with his eyes, but turned back to his Father when Balder reached the doors. Odin sat back down on his throne, and the same tiredness Thor saw a glimpse of returned.

‘Balder’s a good man,’ Thor said. ‘He’s brave and honest, and his heart is in the right place. He does not deserve this from you.’

‘Maybe so, but his every word is dripping with Loki’s thoughts,’ Odin said. ‘He filled the boy’s head with his own ideas.’

‘I don’t think Balder’s quite so easy to bend to another’s will,’ Thor said. ‘And I stand firmly in my belief that Loki did what was right.’

‘Loki turned his back on us,’ Odin said. ‘His family and his Realm, it would save you from a lot of heartache to finally accept that.’

Thor did not truly believe that, not now. If Loki truly did not care for any of them, he would have let the future he saw come to pass instead of fighting it with all his might.

‘My heart’s not so fragile to break so easily. Loki’s my brother, and I’d rather take the pain he causes me than to claim otherwise.’

His heart did ache now, every time he said his brother’s name. He still couldn’t believe it. If Loki hadn’t forced him to step through the barrier, he could’ve fought with him, he could’ve helped him. He wouldn’t have been alone on the other side to face Chthon and his magic, maybe Thor could’ve gotten him to safety... surely he could’ve done _something_. How could Loki do this, force him to just stand there? ... He was so close, he almost made it. Norns, Thor had to know where he was.

‘Then you are foolish,’ his Father said, and Thor did not have the energy to become angry. He wished his Father still had hope, but that must’ve died with his Mother.

‘There are days I think I do not even know you,’ Thor told him. ‘How many more secrets, how many more lies are there?’

‘Son…’

‘Did Mother know? About Balder?’

Odin took a long breath.

‘No. Or if she did somehow, she never told me.’

Thor wasn’t sure what answer he expected.

‘Why have you not told her?’

His Father now looked even older, his grief plain as day on his face.

‘She would’ve taken him in, regardless of how she felt,’ he said. ‘She would have loved him, like she loved you and Loki… I couldn’t ask that of her.’

Thor wanted to ask more questions, about Balder’s mother, about a lot of things, but none of his questions made it out of his mouth.

‘Go see a Healer, son,’ his Father said. ‘We will talk more in the morrow.’

It was a tired dismissal, but Thor did not argue. Balder and Odin were no longer locked in an angry battle of wills, and that was enough for now.

Balder was still right outside the door when Thor finally stepped out, and all of the warriors that were previously inside the throne room stood around him. Cosak had a dark look on his face. The older warrior was obviously very protective of Balder, and he wasn’t alone.

Balder waited for the Einherjar to walk back inside the throne room before he spoke.

‘Say what you will of Loki,’ he said. ‘He was never this cruel.’

‘No, only to those who he thought wronged him,’ Thor agreed. ‘Are you all right?’ he couldn’t help but ask, there was something on the young man’s face, so similar to this own, that told him he was not.

‘I am well,’ Balder said. ‘It’s not like I had high hopes.’

Odin’s words got to him then, no matter how well he hid it.

‘I’m glad Loki found you,’ Thor said to him. ‘You are right, you will not be discarded or forgotten. And you won’t stand against my Father on your own either.’

‘Damn right he won’t,’ Cosak grumbled darkly.

Balder stepped closer to Thor, his voice suddenly quiet, but clearly he was not trying to keep any secrets from the warriors around them.

‘You must tell me where Loki is,’ he said. ‘I have not heard from him for far too long.’

Clearly, he wasn’t afraid to admit that Loki, who was considered a traitor by most in Asgard, was the one who found him and handed him the throne. They’ve clearly been in touch with one another too. His boldness reminded Thor of himself in this moment.

‘We were victorious, but Loki paid a high price for it,’ Thor told him. The words hurt still, he couldn’t stop repaying that last moment in his mind, that second just before Loki was gone. ‘I must seek guidance from the Valkyrior, then I can tell you more.’

‘Find me then, when you’re ready,’ Balder said with a nod. Thor was glad to have someone to share his concerns with, someone who cared about Loki’s fate too.

Thor nodded back and turned to leave in a hurry.

‘And go see a healer, Thunderer,’ Balder called after him.

* * *

Thor did not go to Eir, his wounds were not severe, he was not in serious pain, and he could walk just fine. He needed to find Kára, he needed to know what befell his brother, if he was still alive, if he would return. He had too many questions, so he couldn’t possibly rest just yet.

Kára was not too difficult to find, it seemed she informed more than enough people of her whereabouts, so Thor only needed to ask a few. She retreated to an observation tower, not the closest one to the throne room, but it was also not at the outskirts of the palace. Thor wondered if they would need to move to a more potent magical location, or if nothing like that was necessary. Kára would know, Thor had to trust her.

She stood in front of a lit brazier when Thor finally found her, silently waiting for him.

‘I’m glad you succeeded,’ she said after a few moments of silence, not turning around to look at Thor. ‘But I fear this is not peace yet, just ceasefire.’

‘I cannot work miracles, I’m afraid,’ Thor answered, walking up to her.

‘No, and I did not expect one,’ she told him once she finally glanced at her. The flames made her dark eyes look almost like ambers. ‘Are you certain you want to do this?’

‘Yes, I must know,’ Thor nodded firmly.

‘You won’t need your weapon,’ she said, turning to gaze back into the flames. Thor walked to the edge of the room and put Mjölnir down by the wall, then after a moment he undid his cape and let that fall to the floor as well. It was beyond repair anyway.

He stopped right across from Kára on the other side of the brazier. She seemed to be deep in thought, so Thor clamped down on his impatience and let her be for a few moments.

‘What you will see might not come to pass,’ she said then. ‘Or it will come to pass because you’ve seen it. You might see very little, and those few images might not make sense to you at all. That is the nature of things, you must accept that.’

‘I understand,’ Thor nodded. ‘What do I need to do?’

‘I’ll share with you my power, Odinson,’ Kára said, lifting up her arm and reaching across to Thor just away from the flames. Thor grabbed her hand without hesitation. ‘I will guide you, just don’t fight it.’

She kept staring into the flames, so Thor did the same, not knowing what else there was to do. They were both silent for quite a long time and Thor was about to ask Kára whether he was doing something wrong when he heard a sharp metallic noise and he turned around.

He was standing in a burnt out street on Midgard, Kára’s hand gone from his grip. The noise came again, but the city still stood. This was not the desolate landscape from his brother’s vision. There was a battle not that long ago, Thor could practically feel it, but it was over now.

A woman stood before him in the next moment, her hair like gold and her eyes dazzling with power. Her presence was like the touch of the sun, but Thor did not fear the heat. She walked towards him, her body ablaze with golden light, but despite the great anger on her face, Thor stood his ground. He could not understand it, but he knew she was not a threat. The vision blurred and shifted when he heard the rumble of thunder in the sky.

He saw great battleships among the stars as he looked up, none from the Nine Realms. This threat would come from somewhere far away, Thor was certain of it. But he did not know when. Did this happen before or after the battle he saw on Midgard? He saw tiny spaceships, shaped like stars, facing off against the great machines.

A buzzing noise drew his attention and he turned to his left just in time to see a great beam of energy hurling towards him through space. He put up his arms to block, not that it would be enough, but the vision dissolved before it reached him. Oh, let this not be a vision of his own death.

‘ _Look for your brother,_ ’ Thor heard from the distance. He recognised Kára’s voice. ‘ _Your worry for others sent you down a different path._ ’

She was right. Thor kept thinking of Midgard and what would befall it, and he knew now that great battles were coming. Loki’s vision showed battles long lost, a realm destroyed utterly, but maybe this meant they still had a fighting chance. They would find more allies to aid them, and they would be ready to fight when their enemies came. But would his brother fight by his side? Where was Loki?

He saw his brother in a dark hallway in the next moment and before him stood Lady Leah.

‘But why me?’ his brother raged, while the girl calmly reached out and took his hand. His brother seemed so surprised, his face going slack for just a moment.

‘You are more important than you know, even if Asgard cannot see that,’ she replied.

This seemed more like a glimpse of the past instead of a vision of the future. The dark hallway was replaced by a sparsely decorated room, but it all barely seemed real or corporeal. His brother was staring out a window that showed nothing but a deep and dark abyss. He was close enough that if Thor reached out he could touch his shoulder. He clenched his fists and resisted the urge. This wasn’t real.

‘I should just let them burn,’ Loki said. ‘Why should I care? They would not do the same for me.’

The anger in his brother’s voice was cold and stung Thor like a whip. Was he speaking of Asgard? Midgard? Maybe all of them. There was so much wrath and hurt in his brother, so much pain. Thor could not even phantom the depths of it, but right now, in this moment, he felt like he dipped into it just a little. It left him shaken and shivering.

‘Good thing you’re not doing this for them then,’ came Barnes’ voice from somewhere far away, but Thor did not catch a glimpse of him as he turned, because now he was suddenly somewhere else.

The sun was so bright that he had to shield his eyes immediately. He saw then that he was standing on a snow-covered field. It was so cold he could feel ice seeping into his skin, his breath coming out in white little puffs. There were great pillars of ice on the horizon, towers of sorts, and a wide dark sea just beyond them. It all inexplicably reminded Thor of Jotunheim, but it was too bright for that, there was life in this land, it couldn’t be it.

He heard an alarmed shout and spotted a tiny figure not that far away. Thor started walking towards it, the snow crunching beneath his feet. It was so eerily quiet that he could clearly hear the deep hiccuping breaths of the child. It had to be a child with a form this small.

There was snow in the child’s raven hair, on their shoulders too. All alone out here in the cold. Thor reached out without thinking and his hand was held by Kára again.

His breath was coming out in harsh wheezes, while his muscles ached like he ran miles upon miles just now.

‘You were venturing too far, Odinson,’ Kára said, walking around the brazier, gripping his elbow. Normally, Thor was very proud, but he really didn’t mind her support right now. His legs felt unsteady and his head was buzzing with too many thoughts.

‘Have you found what you were looking for?’ she asked.

‘I’m not sure,’ Thor answered honestly.

‘Sit,’ Kára instructed. ‘Some visions might be easy to understand, others might be more... symbolic.’

Thor did not argue with her, sat down right where he was to the ground. She did the same.

‘I saw a great battle on Midgard,’ Thor said. ‘And a golden warrior.’

‘Asgardian?’ Kára asked.

Thor shook his head. No, the woman wore a “uniform” of sorts, Thor saw more than enough of those on Midgard.

‘Human, I think,’ he said. ‘She was powerful though, maybe we must find her. Maybe she will be vital to upcoming battles.’

‘Could be,’ Kára agreed. ‘Are you sure she was not an enemy?’

‘No,’ Thor answered right away. ‘She felt... warm. She was a friend.’

Kára nodded.

‘I saw great spacecrafts,’ Thor said next. ‘I fear an invasion might be coming.’

Kára frowned. ‘There is a threat, we know that too, but the warning is vague and unclear, and everything shifted just now. Did you recognise any of the ships?’

‘No,’ Thor said.

‘A threat from afar,’ Kára said. ‘It has to be connected to the Chitauri and those “allies” your brother made.’

‘I do not know,’ Thor admitted. ‘But it seems likely.’

‘So what of your brother then?’ Kára asked. ‘Have you seen him?’

‘I did but...’ Thor frowned. ‘It must’ve been the past, not the future.’

‘It’s possible, but you wouldn’t see the past without reason,’ she said. ‘There is something to be learnt from it.’

Thor thought of Leah’s faith in Loki, and he thought of his brother’s rage and pain. He felt it so strongly there, like it was a living dark beast just lurking behind his shoulder, ready to strike and drag his brother away again. Leah in his vision said Loki was important. He had to think about this at great length.

‘I saw a child,’ he said then.

‘A son or a daughter perhaps,’ Kára offered. ‘It happens often enough.’

‘Their hair was dark as a raven’s,’ Thor said. ‘I couldn’t see their face either.’

‘Not golden like you, but dark...’ Kára mused. ‘Well, there is the Lady Sif.’

‘What?’ Thor asked in surprise.

‘I heard rumours,’ Kára shrugged.

Maybe... maybe not. Thor was not so sure. Why would a child of his be lost in the snow? Waiting to be found. It had to be connected to Loki, not him.

‘It might not be a child in the literal sense,’ Kára said. ‘You must consider all options.’

‘I will,’ Thor nodded. ‘I wish I saw more.’

‘I couldn’t let you wander further,’ Kára told him. ‘The All-Father would be quite displeased if I returned you with your mind amiss.’

Thor gave a tired laugh.

‘No, I hoped this would give me some answers, but I knew not to expect anything definitive.’

His Mother told him about these things a few times, even though Thor was not all that interested in the details. Seeking answers in visions could often lead to more questions than answers, and Thor certainly felt like that right now.

But he did see a battle, instead of just death and destruction, which gave him hope. And he did not see that Old Loki either, so Thor dared hope that he was gone. Last time the wretched creature found him right in the midsts of Loki’s vision.

‘I thank you for your help nonetheless,’ Thor said, pulling himself up to his feet. Kára did not offer her hand this time.

‘I will inform Brunnhilde of the great unknown spacecrafts you saw in your vision,’ Kára said. ‘It might be something we can look out for in the future. And maybe you should inform your brothers and sisters in arms on Midgard about this golden warrior when you return to them. She showed up, even though you did not seek her at all. It must be important.’

Thor nodded in agreement.

‘Go see a healer and think of what you saw,’ Kára said then. ‘I’m sure the answer will come to you in time.’

‘Thank you, Lady Kára,’ Thor bowed his head.

‘We will talk more about your brother later,’ she added. ‘At length, for I still have many questions.’

‘I will be happy to answer them all, as best as I can,’ Thor promised.

She gave him a nod then walked out, leaving him alone with his thoughts. A child lost in the snow. Maybe his brother was weakened and vulnerable right now, maybe he couldn’t return on his own, maybe Thor needed to find him. And if he could be found, that meant he was not lost forever. But Thor didn’t know where to look! How could he help if he did not even know that? Where could he start his search?

He sighed. No, he couldn’t leave Asgard right now, not with Balder and Odin at each other’s throats. His heart ached and he hoped that the answer would come to him, just like Kára said.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! FYI, the golden warrior at the start of the vision is simply a fun little Captain Marvel cameo, it is not some big plot point or anything, just wanna put that out there.


	62. Chapter 62

Being trapped in a nightmare was nothing new for Steve. He’s been having them for years, the war, the battles he fought, Bucky’s scream as he plummeted down into an icy depth, New York in shambles as aliens tore through it, Bucky’s metal fist hitting him again and again... there was always one nightmare or another.

This was Chthon, his cold rumbling voice, his burning oppressive presence, his world without colours and covered in flames… Steve really hoped that the burning skin on his throat and the darkness at the edge of his awareness was just his imagination. As soon as he blinked open his eyes and he took a few deep breaths the feelings vanished. There was no tight grip around his throat, no burnt skin, no crawling darkness in his brain. These memories would haunt him for a while, he accepted that already.

He did wonder if it was the nightmare that woke him or something else, but then he noticed that the bed next to him was empty... again. His shoulders sagged as he took another large breath, then he just dropped his head back down on the pillow. Bucky had his own way of dealing with things, and Steve had to let him be. It still would’ve been nice to find him sleeping next to him after a nightmare like this.

But they would be fine. One day at a time. That’s what they agreed upon. It’s only been a few weeks, and Steve didn’t expect miracles.

Being on their own was both better and worse. He didn’t hate living in the tower for a while, and Bucky seemed okay too, but he was never truly relaxed. He didn’t like HELEN’s eyes on him, that he couldn’t come and go without being seen. He was tense around Natasha and even more so around Yelena.

Steve was searching for a place two weeks in, but it took some time to find something, because he wanted Brooklyn. It was home, and he hoped Bucky would feel the same. He was definitely calmer here, with just the two of them. He smiled, he even laughed sometimes, and he was able to sleep enough on most nights. He also kept vanishing, sometimes in the middle of the night, leaving Steve unable to fall back asleep as he waited for him to return. Sometimes he went for a very early run when he couldn’t stand the wait, finding the apartment too quiet. And Bucky did come back, no matter how often he vanished, always in the morning once the sun was up.

Steve knew there was no chance of going back to sleep, so he turned and grabbed his phone to check the time. 4:12... well, at least he slept enough... relatively speaking. He rubbed his face and listened for any sound in the apartment for a few seconds, but there was only quiet.

It was still dark outside, and it was a bit too early for a run, but maybe he could get more unpacking done. His stuff from Washington was all here now, but mostly just all over the place. Bucky didn’t have anything yet and Steve didn’t want to fill everything in the apartment with his own things. Bucky definitely thought he was being an idiot, even if he didn’t voice that thought out loud yet. He rolled his eyes enough times while he looked at one of Steve’s boxes. Still, Steve could wait, and Bucky’s closet did start filling up with clothes that were definitely not combat gear, so other things would follow in time. Steve just had to give him time and leave empty spaces in the apartment for him to fill.

Before he could fully stand up from the bed he felt a breeze on the back of his neck. The window wasn’t open a moment ago. There was no sound, and the touch of wind was too warm on his heated skin, too warm for this early morning. He was immediately tense. Something... something was not right.

‘Don’t be afraid,’ said a whispery voice and Steve was up from the bed and on the other side of the room, his back to the wall, in a heartbeat.

He caught the glimpse of blonde hair first and for a moment he thought it was Yelena, but she was too tiny and too... big. There was something off, just like the too-warm breeze and a sensation on his skin that felt familiar after he took another few deep breaths. He knew this feeling, this presence touching his skin.

‘Do you know who I am?’ she asked.

Steve licked his lips and swallowed. Oddly enough, he knew.

‘Gaea,’ he said.

The bedside lamp turned on without anyone touching it and now he could actually see her face, she looked human, but not really. It also took Steve’s confused mind another glance to realise that she looked familiar in a way that made his heart ache.

‘Why do you look...?’ There was no mistaking it. The slight frame, the blonde hair, the nose and chin, and even the eyes. ‘You look like my mother.’

She did, but then she didn’t. The face she wore resembled her, but everything else screamed at Steve that she was something else, something much more.

‘That is actually your doing,’ she said. ‘Humans always have some preconception of me, and your minds conjure up my form based on that.’

‘But why are you...?’

‘My true form can be overwhelming. You saw my brother, and I am not as diminished as he is. It’s easier if I let you see what you want to see… and I doubt I would fit into your apartment with my actual size.’

Steve wasn’t sure why his mind was conjuring up Gaea as an ethereal copy of Sarah Rogers, but it also made sense in a strange way, so that was probably his answer.

‘Your friend Bucky saw me just like this as well,’ she said then. ‘It was unexpected, but then it wasn’t at all, now that I know him better.’

Steve stepped away from the wall and walked closer. He remembered what Bucky told him, that Gaea didn’t feel like a threat, and it was true. The presence was familiar, almost uncomfortably similar to Chthon’s, but clear and much lighter, like a crisp spring morning, or the crystal clear surface of water.

‘So what do you want from me?’ Steve asked. She wouldn’t be here without a reason.

‘Sit, I want to speak with you,’ she said, gesturing at the bed. Steve didn’t move, so she gave him an amused smile and sat down on the edge herself. ‘Come, sit,’ she repeated.

She looked so harmless right now, even though Steve knew very well she wasn’t. He still sat down, his mind buzzing.

‘Don’t be afraid to ask your questions,’ Gaea said then.

‘Chthon’s alive, isn’t he?’ Steve asked.

‘Yes,’ she answered right away. ‘We are not very easy to kill.’

‘Why didn’t you face him yourself?’ he asked then, because he had to ask. This question has been nagging at his mind from the start. ‘Why Bucky? Why any of us?’

She looked at him for just a moment, but didn’t hesitate much before she answered.

‘My power is great, but it lies not with battle or destruction,’ she said. ‘I never could’ve defeated my brother... my talents lie in creation. And I know better than most not to underestimate the best of humankind.’

‘Yeah, humankind. We wouldn’t have made it without Loki and Leah,’ Steve said then. ‘Without the things they knew... they did most of the heavy lifting.’

‘And why is that? Why did they... especially the godling, the peculiar selfish creature he is, fight till the bitter end?’

He tried to ignore how she referred to Loki the same way Chthon always did.

‘You expect me to know what went around in Loki’s head?’

‘I think you know,’ she said. ‘I think you know what made a difference.’

 _It mattered. It made a difference._ Leah’s words echoed in his memory.

‘And I think you know why your friend mourns, but tries to hide it from you.’

‘Is this why you’re here?’ Steve scowled. ‘Someone like you doesn’t have anything better to do?’

‘You assume I don’t care,’ she said. ‘That you are all just tools in my hands or worse... insignificant. I chose him as my champion, your friend, and he will not be abandoned by me. His heart aches, for so many reasons, and yours aches with it. My kind could never love the way you humans do, we’re not made for it.’

It was way too early for this and Steve still did not see the point of it all. What did she want from him?

‘Bucky has such a kind heart,’ she said. ‘You know this, of course. It’s tattered now, almost fragile, but still so willing to open, willing to be kind. He is not one of a kind, but still so very rare. Only few have such strength.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed quietly. He sometimes did not dare think too much about Bucky’s suffering, because his mind descended into a vortex of dark pain and horrors. Every smile he got out of Bucky was a miracle, and Steve wanted to treasure them as such. And Bucky was still kind, and gentle, even if he doubted it himself. Even before the war and Hydra and every nightmare Bucky went through, he’s always been so kind, especially to those who did not know much kindness in life... like Steve.

‘Compassion like that can sometimes change the course of history,’ Gaea added.

‘It did,’ Steve agreed again. Without Bucky... god, he didn’t want to think of a world without Bucky. Steve never would’ve made it to the war, he never would’ve served as Captain America... and Chthon would’ve wiped them out, Loki never would’ve...

‘I think I understand what you mean,’ Steve told her.

‘I knew you would.’

‘So if Bucky’s still your “champion”, does that mean he needs to do something else?’

‘Not for me, no,’ she said. ‘But war is coming to our world and you two will fight, all of you will fight when I cannot. So I want you to know that I will be there to do what’s within my power.’

‘You will?’

‘This is _our_ world,’ she said. ‘It shall not be conquered.’

‘So if this war is coming, what do we do?’

‘You live, you heal… stay strong and be ready, and that is something I can help with.’

Steve was about to open his mouth when she reached out to him with a slender hand. Steve didn’t jump back, but he did eye her a little bit suspiciously. She just looked at him patiently.

‘Some of your nightmares are my brother’s doing,’ she said. ‘He’s petty and vengeful. Let me ward you from him.’

‘What... how did he...?’

She put her hand on the side of his neck and Steve felt a phantom itch where the burn used to be.

‘Consider it a curse,’ she said. ‘He only needed to touch you once, but I had enough of his poison tainting this world. You will be free of him, and so will everyone else.’

The warmth of her hand was a little unnatural, but Steve felt his muscles relax as the itch on his skin vanished. He was reminded of his mother’s gentle hand on his feverish forehead while he lay sick in bed.

‘He was still...’

‘He was not in your head, no,’ Gaea said. ‘But his magic is a living thing on its own, just like his cursed book.’

She dropped her hand after another moment passed and gave him an almost sad smile.

‘Your past I cannot take, that will always haunt you,’ she said.

‘I wouldn’t want it gone,’ Steve said.

‘I know.’

She leaned back a little and stared out the window.

‘There are many more who will fight in this war,’ she said. ‘I will guide them to you when the time is right, to the Avengers, but it will be up to you to forge your friendships and alliances.’

‘Why are you telling me this? Why not Bucky?’

‘He would take it on as a burden, a responsibility, and I don’t want him to carry more that he is able.’

Steve accepted this with a nod.

‘I will let everyone know,’ he promised.

She turned back to him with a small smile again.

‘I know.’

‘Do we have a chance? In this war that’s coming?’

‘I have hope,’ she said with a firm nod. Steve had a feeling that this was all that she was going to tell him. Maybe she didn’t know anything else either, and she really just had faith in them.

‘Is Loki alive?’ he asked then. If anyone knew, it would be her, and Steve was probably not going to get another chance to question her. Bucky and Thor both would want to know, hell, Steve wanted to know too.

Gaea seemed thoughtful and the look on her face made Steve frown.

‘Not in a way you would consider “alive”,’ she said then. Well, dammit. ‘But he’s not suffering and he does still exist.’

‘That’s vague,’ Steve told her.

‘It’s the truth,’ Gaea answered simply.

‘Well, you could be a bit more specific about the truth.’

She looked amused at his tone, and Steve wondered why he didn’t feel concerned about the way he talked to this ancient being like this.

‘Loki turned himself into something... different. Whatever he is, what he has become is linked to powers in this universe even I consider old.’

‘Like Mistress Death.’

She nodded.

‘So, is he coming back?’

‘The future is always unclear, even more so with Loki, and I am not omniscient.’

‘And could you bring him back?’ Steve asked. ‘If you wanted to.’

‘He’s not a child of my world.’

‘That’s not an answer.’

‘You still consider him a threat, yet you want him to live. Why?’

That was a good question, but Steve wasn’t sure he had a clear answer. It just kept nagging at his mind that this was not right. Maybe it was the strategist in him. They would need Loki in the future if he was willing to fight on their side. Maybe it was the idealist in him, who thought it was unfair that Loki had to suffer for doing the right thing. Maybe it was gratitude, and a debt unpaid. Maybe it was that far-away look in Bucky’s eyes. He was mourning a friend, just like Thor mourned a brother.

‘It’s not about me,’ Steve said in the end.

‘It’s not, but you are still the one asking.’

‘We’ll need him, just like we will need everyone else who is willing to fight. It’s... a gut feeling. Things seem... out of place right now.’

‘Odd for you to notice the shift in the world, but still... you’re right.’

Steve wondered if he should be alarmed about that remark. Gaea didn’t look at all concerned about Steve’s “odd” insight.

‘The girl might be the key,’ Gaea said.

‘Leah?’

‘She is not of this world, but yet she was. She is not Mistress Death, but she is connected to her, and her fate is entwined with Loki’s deeply. There is a secret here for me to unravel. We’ll see where that leads me.’

She really did look thoughtful now, looking silently at nothing. Steve was just glad she appeared to be willing to do something. They could really use more ancient powerful beings being helpful instead of crazy and hell-bent on destroying them.

‘Go back to sleep now,’ she said then. And things went fuzzy.

Steve found himself under his covers and lying on the bed, wondering if what just happened was all just a dream. He also had the ridiculously bizarre image of an ancient goddess tucking him back into bed. He huffed out a quiet laugh, feeling as ridiculous as his life felt.

* * *

Steve had no idea how he had fallen asleep again, but the next time he became aware of his surroundings there was a warm hand on his cheek and bright sunlight in the room that should’ve woken him up already.

The hand belonged to Bucky.

‘I don’t remember ever seeing you sleep this much,’ he said quietly as Steve blinked his eyes open. ‘At least not in this century. Should I be worried?’

Steve opened his mouth to tell him that he spoke to Gaea, but he knew that the gentle look on Bucky’s face would turn hard and his brows would furrow straight away. It could wait just a little bit. She didn’t warn him of some imminent threat, didn’t give them any sort of mission, there was no emergency. It could wait.

‘Did you just get back?’ he asked, slightly surprised himself. Bucky was usually back before the crack of dawn on nights he went out.

‘Yeah, I was surprised you didn’t blow up my phone yet. But now I see why,’ he replied with a smile. There was something in his eyes though. Steve sat up.

‘Okay, so you didn’t just want some fresh air last night,’ he concluded. ‘What happened?’

Steve usually didn’t ask about where Bucky went, but this seemed like the right time.

‘I met with Yelena,’ Bucky told him.

‘That...’ Steve was a little shocked. ‘I didn’t think she would be up for that.’

Yelena had an instinctual, visceral fear of the man Bucky used to be. She couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him, couldn’t have him in her line of sight, and just hearing the shifting metal plates on his arm made her deadly pale and ready to run or fight. Bucky kept his distance form her from day one as much as he could.

From what Natasha told Steve, she’s been doing much better with Bucky gone from the building. It was not a pleasant thought for Steve, but not everything was about them.

‘She wasn’t very comfortable,’ Bucky said. Steve guessed that it was probably much worse than that from Bucky’s tone. ‘But she’s tough, she wanted to speak to me.’

‘I could’ve gone with you,’ Steve said.

‘Nah, I didn’t want to show up with extra back-up,’ Bucky said. And okay, Steve didn’t like to think of himself as an intimidating presence, but this was a fair point.

‘She’s leaving,’ Bucky said. ‘She wants to hunt down Arcade.’

Steve wasn’t really surprised about that one. Yelena was... vindictive. Arcade was dangerous, and while Steve might’ve preferred to capture him to be properly tried for all his crimes, he wasn’t about to stand in Yelena’s way. He had to pick his battles right now, and this wasn’t one he was willing to pick. What sort of man that made him? He couldn’t even begin to guess.

‘She thinks he might come after me again,’ Bucky added.

‘Why?’

‘There’s a reason he and Yelana got along so well up until now,’ Bucky explained simply. ‘Arcade hates losing, and he lost against me, because I walked away alive.’

‘He’ll try again,’ Steve said grimly.

‘It’s probably even more personal for him now, so yeah,’ Bucky shrugged.

‘He’s welcome to try,’ Steve declared, his voice hardening to steel in his anger.

There was a moment of silence, and then Bucky flopped down on the bed, clothes and all.

‘I’m beat,’ he said, voice muffled by the pillow. Steve’s anger slipped away as soon as he looked down at him.

‘So did Yelena just want to warn you?’ he asked.

‘Kind of,’ Bucky said, turning his head on the pillow to be heard. His hair was half in his face, so Steve reached out to brush it aside. ‘She made a point that if I killed him before she got her hands on him she will be very unhappy.’

‘So she wants to be contacted if Arcade shows up,’ Steve concluded again.

‘Pretty much,’ Bucky confirmed.

‘And you agreed?’

‘I told you what I think of grudges,’ Bucky said. ‘If he stays away from us, I don’t give a fuck where Arcade is.’

Well, Arcade was probably out there hurting people as part of his “profession”, but he was already wanted in many countries, so unless Steve decided to set out to hunt him down personally, there was nothing else he could do about him. Besides, with Yelena on his tail, the assassin was not going to be able to hide for long. Steve would be willing to bet good money on that.

He looked down at Bucky again, who seemed to be on the edge of passing out. Bucky could keep going for days, just like Steve, if he pushed himself to do it, but there was no reason to do that now.

‘Get some sleep,’ Steve told him. Bucky only made some deep grumbling noise in answer. Steve was man enough to admit that it was cute and he felt all warm just looking at him again, safe and whole and comfortable. He leaned down to get a kiss and Bucky turned his head to give it to him, not moving any other part of his body. It was long and sweet and Steve’s heart beat a mile a minute in happiness.

They fought for so long and so hard for this, and in moments like these Steve couldn’t help but feel that it was all worth it. Even their scars, even their nightmares.

He lingered for a little bit, watched as Bucky’s face went slack as he fell asleep. He was a total sap, he was not about to deny that, and he smiled even wider before he finally got out of bed.

* * *

Steve went for his run, even though it was late, and grabbed some groceries while he was out. Bucky was still asleep when Steve got back in, unsurprisingly. He slept much better during the day sometimes, despite the noise of traffic and people out on the street. Steve shook his head fondly while he grabbed some clean clothes after his shower. Bucky probably wasn’t just tired from the lack of sleep. Meeting Yelena must’ve been exhausting for him. She and Natasha were part of the past that would forever haunt him... them. Something that couldn’t be erased.

He decided to talk to Natasha about it, and soon. He had to know how she was coping. His relationship with the Avengers might have been a little shaky right now – for the lack of a better word – but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about their well-being. Natasha was his friend, and while he didn’t expect her to just forget about all the decisions Steve made recently, he still had to offer his friendship again. He tried not to worry about whether Natasha was willing to offer him hers again.

He was nowhere near an expert on people… or friendships, as it turned out. Both Sam and Bucky told him before that he sometimes had a very one-track mind. That he ran headlong towards his goal and he just didn’t stop to think about all consequences. He was thinking of them now, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret any of his choices.

Surprisingly enough, it was Tony who seemed to be just okay with everything. He couldn’t really explain why, but he did think about that talk with Tony quite often. Maybe Tony just wanted to look out for him, that didn’t seem to impossible after everything. Maybe he was finally able to see Steve as someone more _human_ , now that he saw all his flaws, and not just the “perfect soldier” Howard seemed to have remembered and talked about. Whatever the reason, it was a relief to have Tony be this normal, still being a smartass, still taking digs at Steve’s taste in everything, still welcoming him at the tower with ease… being a friend.

Dark clouds gathered a few hours after he got home, a storm rolling in, and Bucky was up before the first raindrop hit the pavement outside. Steve gave him a smile as he walked out of the bedroom, now in soft clothes, and no shoes. That was an important detail. The security of the flat was finally up to Bucky’s standards. They installed everything they could possibly think of. It was ridiculous, but Steve just told Bucky to do whatever he wanted.

Bucky had an odd curious look on his face, but Steve didn’t need to prompt him to explain.

‘I had a really weird dream,’ he said with a frown.

‘Gaea?’ Steve asked right away. He wouldn’t have been surprised if that were the case.

But Bucky just gave him a confused look.

‘No, why?’

‘Oh, well…’ This was a good time as any. Steve shut his laptop and leaned back on the couch. His e-mails could wait. ‘Because that’s the dream I had.’

Bucky silently walked over to the couch and dropped down on it. He still looked casual, but there was some tension in his shoulders that Steve didn’t like to see.

‘Tell me,’ he prompted, so Steve did.

Bucky listened with that tiny thoughtful frown on his face, but he didn’t get overly tense or angry. His reaction was encouraging, because he definitely knew more about Gaea than Steve did.

‘I’ve known from the start that more shit was coming our way,’ Bucky said as soon as Steve stopped talking. ‘Loki and Leah were always on and on about a dark future. So I guess it’s better to know than be caught by surprise.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed. It was depressing to think about it though, to have this hanging over their heads, an approaching threat, even if not an imminent one.

Tony’s been talking about needing to protect Earth from something big since Loki’s invasion. He was the only one who saw what was on the other side of that portal after all. So this was how he must’ve felt all these years. This urge to act, to prepare for something that was almost impossible to prepare for, because you knew barely anything about your enemy. He had to talk to Tony, he realised, sooner rather than later, especially with these “heroes” Gaea was going to guide their way. He didn’t doubt for a second that Tony had plans upon plans ready in his mind, but hopefully nothing as drastic as Ultron or the Iron Legion. Steve could help him, somehow. Maybe just telling him he was right would help. If Steve was sincere enough maybe Tony wouldn’t even be insufferable about it.

A rumbling thunder halted Steve’s wandering thoughts, the rain now heavily hitting the windows. It was a sudden storm, the air outside must’ve felt crisp and electric as the wind howled. They were not bothered by the sudden loud noise, not while they were up and aware.

‘I don’t think Loki’s gone,’ Bucky said suddenly.

‘Gaea said he’s not alive,’ Steve said.

‘Yeah, you said, but I don’t think he’s really gone,’ Bucky insisted.

‘Is this where your weird dream comes in?’ Steve prompted.

‘Maybe,’ Bucky sighed, dropping his head back on the back of the couch, his eyes turning to stare up at the ceiling. ‘It’s just bits and pieces, like my memories used to be, vague… impressions, feelings. It think I’m supposed to be looking for something.’

‘Something?’

Bucky made a noncommittal noise, frowning at the ceiling. ‘Something,’ he repeated. ‘I told you it was weird.’

‘Our lives are weird, so that can’t be helped,’ Steve shrugged.

That made Bucky smile and he turned to look at Steve again.

‘So are you going to look?’ Steve asked.

‘To a reasonable extent,’ Bucky said with a nod to himself. ‘I’ll keep my eyes and ears out, we’ll see what happens. But I don’t want to look for trouble, to be honest.’

Steve got that, just like he understood the tiredness in Bucky’s voice. He didn’t just want to go from battle to battle. He wanted to rest, to heal... to live. And that’s what Gaea said they needed to do. They couldn’t just live their lives waiting for the next war to knock on their doors, the next enemy trying to kill them. Steve didn’t want to think about what that would do to his state of mind, or Bucky’s for that matter. And while Bucky always said Steve loved searching for trouble, he really-really didn’t want to do that right now.

‘All right,’ he agreed. ‘Just let me know if you need me to look for this “something” too, or if you figured out what that “something” is supposed to be.’

Steve’s face was probably easy to read, or Bucky just knew him too well, but he gave him another smile and a small chuckle. He had to know that Steve was never going to let him get tangled up in something again without him. This was a goddamn package deal. If anything was coming their way, they would be facing it together.

Bucky moved over to kiss him. The feelings that bubbled up in Steve’s chest at the touch swiftly turned into warmth. Bucky’s plush lips, his scent, his soft hair under Steve’s fingers, even the sound of the metal plates on his arm shifting... his kiss pulled on all of Steve’s senses at once. He was immediately ready to let the rest of the world fade away.

Bucky had his heart, so thoroughly, so utterly that it should’ve been scary, but it wasn’t at all. His heart could never be safer with anyone else. On some days Bucky didn’t agree. He didn’t think he should have Steve’s heart right in his hand, unguarded and vulnerable, but Steve knew he would never ever take it back from him. On those days, Bucky was almost desperate to tell him, that his heart – as scarred and battered as it was – also belonged to Steve. But Steve knew that, just like he knew why Bucky couldn’t trust himself fully yet. He would, eventually, Steve planned to make sure of that.

There was a great boom of thunder and they broke their lingering kiss. It was not the flash of light or the sound itself that made them stop, even though it made the windows in the apartment shake. It was the sudden sound of car horns outside that followed. Then the voice of their downstairs neighbour yelling really loudly...

‘ _Oh my god, look at that... look at that! What is that?!_ ’

They were up and over by the window in a matter of moments. Some cars stopped on the road, but it was hard to see what some of the drivers were pointing at up high in the sky. Maybe if they opened the window.

‘Roof,’ Bucky said, turning right away.

They had a very good access to the roof from this top-floor apartment, for obvious reasons. Bucky would not have been comfortable with anything else. Steve felt the same way, to be honest. A quick gateway route was just plain reassuring.

Bucky slipped on some shoes, but didn’t bother with a jacket as he hurried from the apartment, but Steve grabbed both his and Bucky’s, and his keys as he followed after him. He learnt some time ago that even an emergency was no reason to lock himself out of his own apartment.

He really hoped this was not an emergency.

The rain was still beating down heavily as he finally made it up to the roof, and he really didn’t need to search the sky to see what the hell was going on. At first it looked like just lights, colourful lines, but northern lights made no sense late in the afternoon on a stormy grey sky. And after blinking some rainwater out of his eyes he finally realised that it was not just lines, not just odd colours and lights... it was a shape, a large long shape all across the sky.

And Steve recognised the shape, the scales, those impossibly long spikes, the way the thing moved, even if it was something completely ghostly and transparent this time.

‘It’s the Serpent,’ he said. ‘It looks like the Serpent.’

Bucky turned to stare at him for a few moments, but he had to take Steve’s word for it. They told him everything that happened while Kierrok possessed him, of course, but he never saw the Wolf or the Serpent, not even the shades of the dead. He didn’t see what powers Loki called on, what he summoned to fight that demon, how he ripped Chthon’s world apart.

This didn’t look like they were about to be ripped apart. The shape was literally made out of light, translucent and colourful, like a living, moving Aurora. Lightning flashed again and again rapidly, way too quickly, and the shape’s colour shivered and shifted until it was mostly white and gold, settling in across the sky. Steve wondered if it was all around the world, like the rings of Saturn, but he knew he would find out soon enough.

The rain started to let off and the clouds were dispersing with unnatural speed. The more sunlight streamed through the less visible the Serpent became, and soon it was too bright to see it... but Steve thought he could still see a few golden glimmers. Maybe once the sun set and the sky darkened it would be there again. The thought didn’t actually worry him just yet.

‘I think you were probably right about Loki,’ Steve said once he could no longer spot any white or gold light up in the sky. Probably all of New York saw this... probably the whole world.

‘I know I am,’ Bucky said. He was drenched in water and Steve realised he forgot to give him his jacket.

Steve opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but Bucky just lifted his metal arm, showing the back of his hand to him, where Loki’s rune was glowing bright and gold. Steve wasn’t sure, but he thought he caught even a few of Gaea’s symbols flickering to life again faintly. Or maybe that was just the sun glinting on the wet metal surface.

Bucky was staring out at the city as the rain stopped, simply dropping his arm back to his side. Steve closed the distance between them and finally offered him his jacket.

‘I guess we know what we’re looking for then.’

 

* * *

 

= THE END =

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all that have been following this story. Thank you for your comments and kudos, all the encouragement. Real life sometimes got in the way and I couldn't always write as much as I wanted, but I am glad that I was able to keep going, as I always intended. Again, just thanks for sticking with me all this time.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this journey I took these characters on and the story I crafted for you all.
> 
> As I previously mentioned, there is a short epilogue/sequel story planned for this one, which might be posted in one go instead of in a WIP format, but updates regarding that will be available on [my Tumblr](http://scyllaya.tumblr.com/). It won't be nearly as long as this one, which is why I am hesitant to call it a full "sequel". If you are interested in reading that once it's published, please subscibe to receive notifications for the 'Til the Sun Goes Down' series, which is what this is called now.
> 
> I hope some of you will be interested in joining me for that ride too.
> 
> Thanks again for reading,
> 
> \- Scyllaya 13/02/2017

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment!
> 
> [](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/)  
>  This work is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/)
> 
> This is a fan-written derivative work. Nearly all characters, names and places in the story belong to Marvel Comics/ Marvel Studios and all other respective owners.


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